Two Birds, One Hundred Stones (UPDATED)

Summary

Podcast Summary – Hyperfixed | “Two Birds, One Hundred Stones (UPDATED)”

Host: Alex Goldman
Production: Hyperfixed & Radiotopia
Date: January 1, 2026
Episode: Re-airing and updating the fan-favorite 2025 episode, originally performed live at On Air Fest, NYC.

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Episode Overview

This moving episode explores regret, creativity suppressed by self-doubt, and the transformative power of sharing personal stories. At the center is Kenan Tamblyn and his mother, Megan Banning—a woman who hid her early-life songwriting dreams after silent rejection, and whose lost work is revived with the help of her loving son, a tenacious podcast host, and a cast of caring strangers. Blending intimate conversations, live music, and a powerful update, this episode is a testament to courage, connection, and the enduring value of artistic dreams.

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Key Themes and Story Arc

• Unfinished Business: The pain of creative ambition unfulfilled, and the possibility of resolution decades later.
• Intergenerational Connection: A son's attempt to illuminate his mother’s hidden past.
• Vulnerability and Courage: The risk and reward of confronting personal regrets in public.
• Collaboration and Community: How personal quests become communal endeavors.

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Main Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Listener Letter & The Episode’s Unique Format

(03:32–06:42)

• Alex Goldman opens by explaining the episode’s origins: a favorite live show from 2025, being reaired with a new update. Hyperfixed usually solves listeners’ problems, but this episode flips the format, revisiting a previously solved problem for its emotional resonance.
• Notable: Goldman teases a special bonus at the end, encouraging listeners not to skip ahead.

2. Introducing Kenan & Megan’s Story: The First Bird

(09:08–18:22)

• Kenan Tamblyn describes his mother Megan as candid, self-assured, and a lifelong media nerd, yet strangely silent about her youthful attempts to become a songwriter.
• In the early 1980s, Megan wrote songs and handed a demo tape to k.d. lang, after which she never heard back—an experience she internalized as rejection.
• As a result, Megan sold her piano, moved into film and TV production, and buried her music deep away. Kenan suspects unresolved regret and a secret longing in his mother.

“She really felt as though she had something to say through these songs. And... nobody’s ever heard it. I truly feel like that lingers, it still lingers with her.”
—Kenan Tamblyn (12:54)

3. Kenan’s Quest & The Podcast’s Parallel Crisis

(18:22–23:40)

• Kenan wishes to restore the old reel-to-reel tapes of Megan’s songs, hoping to offer her closure and perhaps even reignite her passion.
• Concurrently, Alex Goldman faces a creative jam: Hyperfixed is set to perform live at On Air Fest, but has no prepared story. He senses that Kenan’s story could be their shared salvation.
• Alex proposes: What if Megan performed her own song, live, for the festival audience? Kenan is excited, but realistic about persuading his mother.

“God, if this could happen, I would be, like, just over the moon.”
—Kenan Tamblyn (23:18)

4. Megan’s Emotional Interview: Pain & Possibility

(24:35–33:36)

• When Megan is finally interviewed, she initially responds with reluctance and emotion, signaling just how deeply her musical past wounds her.
• She reveals a childhood shaped by music as escape from family dysfunction: “Music was always a thing. There was a piano in our home... I could play and I could write music. Instantly, I went to another place. I went to a place that I was calm...” (25:50)
• Megan expresses regret and embarrassment, feeling as though she “let herself down.” Yet as the conversation deepens, she finds catharsis in voicing what she’d long avoided.

“It’s a regret. But in my heart of hearts, I’m a musician.” —Megan Banning (30:22)

• When asked about performing live, Megan demurs (“Oh, not happening. That’s never going to happen. ... I can’t sing anymore...”), but opens to the idea of someone else performing her music.

“To have my music heard, my song heard... I would die to hear that.” —Megan Banning (31:43)

5. The Community Rallies: From Tape Restoration to Festival Stage

(33:55–40:54)

• The team faces logistical hurdles: finding the cassette and sheet music, digitizing 40-year-old analog tape, locating a singer (Eliza McLam), and racing a Nova Scotia snowstorm.
• Miraculously, every challenge is overcome: an audio engineer (Rich O’Coyne) rescues the old tape, and Eliza records Megan’s song for the live event.

6. Live Performance: “Rooms”

(40:54–43:30)

• At On Air Fest, Eliza McLam delivers an emotionally charged performance of Megan’s “Rooms,” while Megan and Kenan watch via Zoom.
• The lyrics evoke heartbreak, yearning, and lost love—a poignant echo of Megan’s own narrative.

Notable Quote:

"Meanwhile, I’ll be missing you, oh I’ll be missing you..."
—Eliza McLam, singing "Rooms" (41:30–42:30)

7. Aftermath and Reflections

(43:30–47:00)

• Megan, moved and grateful, says:

  “It was a bit much pulling this off in a week, going into Blizzard and finding all this memories 40 years ago of stuff I never thought would happen... And the fact that there’s people that are hearing the song. I mean, I got five more that are even better, by the way.”
  (45:07)

• The experience inspires Megan to buy a keyboard and rekindle her songwriting:

  “What has inspired me is I’m going to go buy myself a keyboard and get back to my music, because I’d love to play the piano, but the music is still in me.”
  (46:59)

8. The Update: Where Are They Now?

(~47:00–62:51; Bonus Segment)

• Months later, Alex, producer Emma Cortland, and Kenan catch up.
• Kenan shares his wedding story, noting a personal sense of luck and new beginnings.
• Megan is thriving, recently offered a film job in Ireland, and has even gained some local fame—her song aired on CBC Radio, generating new musical opportunities (keyboards donated by listeners).
• She is writing lyrics again, though playing piano is challenging, and feels creatively reawakened.
• Kenan, now working as a gardener/landscaper, is also writing screenplays.

“One of my favorite things about the entire experience of us doing this was when I finally heard the song and I was like, oh my God... it’s actually good.”
—Kenan Tamblyn (54:33)

• The Hyperfixed team reflects on how this episode “proved what the show could be,” affecting both the participants and the creators on a personal level.

9. Original Recording: Megan’s 1980s Demo

(63:22–65:53)

• The episode closes with part of Megan’s original 1980s recording of “Rooms”—a full-circle moment, erasing decades of silence.

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Notable Quotes & Moments (by Timestamp)

• On Facing Regret:
  “Because it’s when you let yourself down. When I didn’t do something that was I should have done. I didn’t do something I was supposed to do. And it’s a regret. But in my heart of hearts, I’m a musician.”
  —Megan Banning (30:22)

• On Hope and Reawakening:
  “What has inspired me is I’m going to go buy myself a keyboard and get back to my music, because I’d love to play the piano, but the music is still in me.”
  —Megan Banning (46:59)

• On Community and Collaboration:
  “Watching the pieces fall into place was like, oh, my God. And it could have fallen apart at any fucking moment.”
  —Kenan Tamblyn (60:15)

• On Creative Fulfillment:
  “It did feel like the first episode of Hyperfixed in a way. Like, it was the one where we were like, oh, this is what this show can be.”
  —Alex Goldman (59:32)

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Segment Timestamps

• Episode format and history: 03:32–06:42
• Kenan discusses Megan’s past: 09:08–18:22
• Alex’s live show desperation / “two birds” plan: 18:22–23:40
• Megan’s emotional interview: 24:35–33:36
• Story logistics, army of helpers: 33:55–40:54
• Live performance of “Rooms” (Eliza): 40:54–43:30
• Kenan & Megan post-performance reflections: 43:30–47:00
• Bonus update/interview (“Where are they now”): ~47:00–62:51
• Original 1980s “Rooms” recording: 63:22–65:53

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Tone and Style

Alex Goldman leads with openness, warmth, and humor, while Kenan and Megan’s candor lends the episode deep emotion and relatability. The live storytelling is raw, improvisational, yet tightly edited. The community feels tangible—a podcast episode that doubles as a real act of bringing people together.

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For New Listeners

This episode tells a complete story of loss, discovery, family, and the authentic act of returning to something unfinished. Even without hearing the performance or having previous context, listeners will be inspired by its hope, warmth, and generosity.

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Listen if you:

• Appreciate stories about dreams deferred and reclaimed.
• Want a real portrait of family, vulnerability, and creativity.
• Like a podcast that is as much about its community as its subjects.

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Transcript

[Alex Goldman]

Hey everyone, this is Alex. So the other day I got an email from a very nice listener who basically said to me like, hey, I like hyperfixed. I want to support it. It is hard for me to justify spending $60 a year on a single show. And you know, as much as I'd like everyone to become a premium Hyperfix member, I get it. And you know, as the media landscape gets more and more inhospitable to creators, people are needing to choose what to support and when. And the idea of spending, you know, $60 a year on a single show isn't for everyone. So right now we are in the middle of the fall Radiotopia fundraiser and I just wanted to spotlight that as an alternative to people who want to support not just my show, but a number of shows with a one time or recurring donation. If you don't know what Radiotopia does for us, on top of selling our ads, they help us with promotion, they connect us with collaborators, they help us purchase ads for big stories, they help me with submissions for award shows. And you know, Radiotopia is the home of some of my favorite podcasts of all time. From limited run series like Appearances to Ear Hustle and Articles of Interest, Kitchen Sister, Song Exploder, Memory palace and you know, of course Yowei Shaw's proxy with whom we collaborated a couple months ago. You can donate one time or monthly at any level to Radiotopia and 100% of that money will go to supporting all of those shows as well as Hyper Fixed and dozens of others. Your contributions to Radiotopia are tax deductible and from now until December 31, 2025, every gift to Radiotopia will be matched one to one, up to $50,000 by a generous PRX donor. So if the idea of a premium Hyper fixed membership is just not your bag, I. I encourage you to support Radiotopia because we wouldn't exist without them. You can go to radiotopia.org donate to support and thank you so much for listening.

[Sponsor/Promoter Voice]

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[Alex Goldman]

This episode of Hyperfixed is brought to you by Quince. Quince. Not like quintuplets, but spelled like a deciduous tree that bears hard, aromatic, bright golden yellow pome fruit similar in appearance to a pear. What does that have to do with clothing made with premium materials, thoughtful design and enduring quality so you stay warm, look sharp and feel your best all season long? No clue and not my problem. Quince, the company, not the fruit, has everything you need. Men's Mongolian cashmere sweaters, wool coats, leather and suede outerwear that actually hold up to daily wear and still look good. Each piece is made from premium materials by trusted factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production. And by cutting out middlemen and traditional markups, Quince delivers the same quality as luxury brands at a fraction of the price. You will not bear a resemblance to a pair, but you will bear a resemblance to a person wearing fashionable clothes because you will be a person wearing fashionable clothes because it's cold out. I got myself a Mongolian cashmere ribbed beanie and it's been keeping my head warm. I don't know what else to tell you about that does the job. Doesn't look like a pair. Looks like fashionable clothes. Refresh your winter wardrobe with quints. Go to quints.com hyperfixed for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N c e.com hyperfixed free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com/hyper fixed. Hey, Happy New Year. I'm Alex Goldman. This is Hyper Fixed. Each week on our show, listeners write in with their problems, big and small, and I solve them. Or at least I try to. And if I don't, I at least give a good reason why I can't. But I guess technically that's not the case because this week we are airing a problem that we have already solved we are hard at work as we speak on tackling new problems for 2026. But, you know, it's the holidays, everybody's really busy, we're all traveling, and we thought this was a great time to re air one of our favorite episodes of 2025. And when I say one of our favorite episodes, I can only speak for myself. But it was the first time we made an episode where I was like, oh, this is what the show can be. If we are firing on all cylinders, if we are doing it right, this is the stuff we can make. This episode had such, like a profound impact on our listener and on our audience. And if you make it all the way through to the end, you can hear that it has a very profound impact on me as well. The story is called Two Birds 100 Stones. It aired in February of last year. It was our first and to this date only live performance at a festival called On Air Fest in New York City. And if you've already heard this episode and you're thinking, I'm about to dip, do not do that because we added a special surprise at the end of this episode. So if you want to hear that update without listening to the whole episode over again, you can scrub to the end approximately at. Hold on. Let me ask our engineer, Tony Williams. Tony, when does the bonus stuff start?

[Kenan Tamblyn]

It's at like 4,000, 150.

[Alex Goldman]

Okay, just skip to that to hear only the new stuff. And for everyone who hasn't heard this episode, please Enjoy. This is two birds 100 stones. Last week, hyperfixed performed our first live story at On Air Fest in Brooklyn. And in most cases, if we did a live version of a show, we'd probably re record the entire thing for broadcast. But in this case, the live aspect was simply not replicable in the studio. So we wanted to play you the story as it was performed at On Airfest. It's a story about regret, fear, and ultimately the courage it takes to just try. Here's the story. Okay. This is a story that we produced specially for this and I'm just going to launch right into it and.

[Producer/Team Member (possibly Emma Cortland or Amore Yates)]

We'Ll.

[Alex Goldman]

See how it goes. Thank you all so much for coming. I really appreciate it. Before I get started, I really need to do one thing which is I need to shout out my team and you guys should give them all an amazing round of applause. Our engineer, Tony Williams, Seri Sofer, Sukanek Amora Yates, Emma Cortland, who sadly couldn't be here. Thank you guys so much. This is impossible without you here. We Go. I am Alex Goldman. This is Hyperfixed, our first ever live taping on this show. Listeners write in with their problems, big and small, and I solve them. Or at least I try. And if I don't, I at least give a good reason why I can't. These words that I have just said to you are the words that start every episode of our show. And I like them because they provide the listener with a sense of calm and order. Like, Alex is here to solve problems. He's going to guide you from the beginning of the story to the end. Everything's going to be chill. But when I wrote those words a week ago, I had no idea if we were going to be able to pull off what we're attempting to pull off today. And if I'm being totally honest, I still don't know if we're going to pull it off. But there's only one way to find out. So this week, Two Birds, 100 Stones, a live podcast in six chapters. Chapter one, the first bird.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Okay, so I have my. My camera set up on a bunch of VHS tapes right now, and I'm going to use those to hold this thing up. So hold on.

[Alex Goldman]

Perfect. Why do you have a bunch of VHS tapes?

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Because I'm a giant nerd.

[Alex Goldman]

This is Kenan. He's a Toronto native. And if he is a nerd, he is the very best kind of nerd. He is a media nerd, and not just the kind that obsesses over stats and trivia. Kenan is the kind of nerd that attends as much to the social world of the art as the art itself. He spent years working in record stores, concert venues. He has an insane collection of physical media. But there's one artist whose work continues to evade him, and that artist is his mother. Megan, what is your relationship with your mom like? Like, do you. Are you guys pretty candid with one another? Do you have an easy relationship? Is it difficult? Is it weird? Like, what do you. What kind of relationship do you have?

[Kenan Tamblyn]

I would say it's all of those things.

[Alex Goldman]

That's totally fair.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Yeah, I. I love my mom to bits. She's been a very emotionally honest person my entire life. Like, there's nothing that she really hides or holds back on. When we have any kind of personal difficulties, like, we can talk about it. She's not a very closed person. She doesn't hide things. So that's why I think that we have a great relationship.

[Alex Goldman]

But there is one thing that Megan has been reluctant to talk about. Her young dreams of being a Songwriter. Over the years, Kenan's heard the story in bits and pieces, but the broad strokes of it go something like this. In the early 80s, Megan was a waitress at Second City in Toronto and she was writing songs. A friend of hers, Second City's house piano player, said, hey, I have this friend, she's a singer, songwriter. I guarantee she would love to perform your songs. Her name's Katie Lang. Let's record some songs, you can give her your tape, I'll put in a good word for you.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

She was a massive K D Lange fan. She saw her perform at the Cameron House, which is like a not very large music venue here in Toronto. She did a week long residency and my mom was there every night sitting in the front row by herself. Anyway, she has a cassette tape of her songs and she handed that to K D Lang at one point and never heard back. That was gone after that.

[Alex Goldman]

Megan was so devastated by the apparent rejection, she sold her piano, she packed up all her music and she charted a new career path for herself. Megan started working in film and television and that's what she still does today.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

She doesn't need a megaphone. She's the person on set who is just saying like, and we're rolling and she's five foot nothing and just commands everybody. She is in charge of the set and that's what she's like.

[Alex Goldman]

These are some photos of Megan from her on set stuff. This is her with Don Johnson, Bryan Dennehy, Rutger Hauer. For all intents and purposes, Megan has lived an extraordinary life. She's worked with tons of celebrities, Jason Priestley, Billy Zane, Gabriel Byrne, and she has a massive amount of insane stories about everyone from Leonard Cohen to, to Robin Williams. But Kenan has always sensed that somewhere inside his mother, there's still a person who longs to be a musician, or at least part of her that regrets that she stopped trying.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Basically she gave up on doing this after the tape. Didn't lead to anything. After Katie Lang never called her back, she just was like, fuck it, it's never going to happen. I'm abandoning this completely.

[Alex Goldman]

That kind of bums me out.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

I feel like, yeah, me too, me too. She really felt as though she had something to say through these songs. And other than a handful of people, nobody's ever heard it. And I truly feel like that lingers, it still lingers with her. So I, I wanted to bring her some resolution to this thing that she always wanted and never had.

[Alex Goldman]

Also for a woman who sounds like kind of brassy and Willing to talk about anything. The fact that there is this one component of her life that she steadfastly refuses to talk about. It must feel like a gap, a knowledge gap in this person that you, I think, know pretty well.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Yeah, I have never heard these recordings.

[Alex Goldman]

Never.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

They exist on a reel to reel tape that is sitting in a box somewhere. And then there's sheet music for all of them. All of the songs that I've never seen. I have memories of this one song that she did sometimes. It was about her friend. That's all I remember. Because we're going back over 20 years at this point. So I would love to see this tape get restored. And I have absolutely no. I have no knowledge of how to do that. It's a grimy old tape that, like, would need to be cleaned up.

[Alex Goldman]

So that's where Keenan reached out to me. He had an instinct that I could get his grimy tape cleaned up for his mom so she could hear her music again and be inspired. And he was right about one thing. I am the type of guy who has a reel to reel in his attic. It's because I'm cool. But I had a feeling he was wrong about something else, which is that I don't think that this project was entirely for his mom. Are you more interested in hearing this tape yourself or in her hearing it with you? I guess would be the way I would put it.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

That's interesting. I mean, I want to hear it because I've never heard it. So I'm definitely interested in hearing it for myself. But I guess I would say I am doing this for her as well. So I guess both. I would love to get her to talk about it more. It's one of the few things that she doesn't want to talk about very much. And maybe that's just because I haven't asked the right questions. I'm always hesitant to kind of bring it up also. There's not many reasons for it to come up in conversation necessarily.

[Alex Goldman]

Kenan told me his mother is coming to visit him in a couple days and that she'll be staying for a week. So the plan is for him to bring it up sometime while she's there. Are you worried about broaching this with her? Like, are you worried that it might upset her?

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Yeah, but I think that it's not going to be. I'm hoping that me saying, you know what we're doing here, I tell her this story that might excite her. Like, I'm leaning more. I am worried, but I'm hopeful. I'm also worried. This is another major thing that I need to bring up. I'm worried that these songs are bad. I worried that there's a reason she didn't get signed, but I have no idea. I have vague memories of one of the songs that I remember sounding pretty good when I was a kid. But I'm like, all I know is that my grandmother truly believed in her.

[Alex Goldman]

How's your grandmother's taste?

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Oh, my Nana was the best.

[Alex Goldman]

Do you worry about us recording this and then going to her and being like, hey, we talked about this deeply personal thing that you consider a failure in your life, and we want you to revisit that thing that you consider a failure. Do you worry that she's going to be like, what's your problem? Like, why would you bring this up a little bit? I mean, like, you know her well enough. What do you think her reaction to this being revisited would be?

[Kenan Tamblyn]

I'm leaning more towards the side of this could potentially excite her. I also think maybe she'll be like, well, I'll do this for my son. You know, I want to believe the reason that I haven't told her about it yet is just because, one, I wanted to have this conversation first, and two, I didn't want to necessarily have her shut it down right away. So I wanted to have something on paper to be like, I've already had this, like, interview with these people who are interested in talking about it because she's somebody that, like, if I'll secretly record a video of her doing something ridiculous because she's a very funny person, and she'll be kind of embarrassed that I did that, and then watch the video, and she will kind of acknowledge that she is very funny in it.

[Alex Goldman]

So.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

So I think with a push, perhaps she will be on board. But I. I'm gonna have to tell her, and I've got a whole week with her like this couldn't have timed out better. So we'll see.

[Alex Goldman]

My advice would be talk to your mom, and then I guess we'll just see what happens, you know, like, how she feels and if she's comfortable with it. And I would love to talk to her about it. I would love to at the very least hear the tape and see if it's salvageable.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

It's daunting, but I'm not afraid to ask the question, that's for sure.

[Alex Goldman]

Let her know that some strange guy from the Internet is interested in hearing her music. Chapter 2 the Second Bird so I didn't tell Kenan this because I didn't want to put any pressure on him. But while I was trying to help Keenan solve his problem, I was standing waist deep in a problem of my own, and I was beginning to wonder if Kenan could help me solve that problem. So back In November of 2024, I'd been contacted by the organizers of On Air Fest about doing something for the 2025 festival. And I said, of course, because even though we'd only made two episodes of Hyperfixed at that point, and the team was only just starting to learn how to work together, the festival was four months away. Also, I have a policy of saying yes to everyone who asked me to do podcast stuff, unless they're fascists. So, anyway, I agree to do the show, and then, I mean, you guys know what happens. November turns to December, and we're like, we should probably start talking about on AirFest. And I'm like, oh, yeah, let's add it to the agenda for next week. And then next week turns into next week, and that week turns into Christmas, and Christmas turns into New Year's. You get it? And we were able to come up with a few decent ideas. And if you were eagle eyed, you might have even spotted the original idea we were going to do for this on the On Air Fest website. But between January and the beginning of February, every permutation of every idea we've had for the show has fallen apart. So by the time I hang up with Kenan on February 4th, which is what, today's the 20th. So that's 16 days ago, my hands are empty. And if we can't find a story, we will have no choice but to stage our doomsday option, which is titled On Air Fest Presents. Alex Goldman Attempts to Make New Friends. Honestly, even the thought of that makes me shudder. It's as bad as it sounds. The idea was that I would bring people from the audience on stage and become friends with them during the session. But I have another idea, and it involves Keenan. So two days after our first call, I shoot him an email to ask him if he has time for a quick conversation. Which brings us to chapter three, the first stone. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, Four. One, two, three, 4. Hi, Kenan. You are muted. You're gonna have to unmute yourself there.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Can you hear me now?

[Alex Goldman]

Yes. Amazing.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Yes.

[Alex Goldman]

At this point, Kenan's mom is at his house. She's just flown in from Nova Scotia. She's staying for about a week, and the visit's going fine. But Kenan hasn't told her about the podcast yet? So he has snuck out into his backyard to talk to us. I'll keep this brief. And it's crazy. This is. This is crazy. It is totally fine if you're like, there's no way this is going to work.

[Sponsor/Promoter Voice]

Okay.

[Alex Goldman]

I just want to get that out.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

In front of you. I'm excited to hear it.

[Alex Goldman]

So I tell him the story I just told you about how I had committed to this thing and then totally shit the bed, and about how I'm exploring alternative options for this live show, which is scheduled to take place in two weeks. And I thought maybe this is an opportunity to kill two birds with one stone. And then I very tactfully ask him. I was wondering, considering your mom truly desires an audience, do you think she would, like. We could make this a story where in two weeks, the look on your face is mad skeptical. I can compose this story, and then at the end, she can come out and sing for us.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Oh, my God. That is. Oh, my God.

[Alex Goldman]

I totally understand. Just think about it. No pressure. I know. That's, like, a crazy thing.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Do I want it to happen 100%? Do I think it could happen big maybe. I don't know. I don't think she's done it in years.

[Alex Goldman]

Again, totally fine. If this is not a thing that you. That is possible. I just want her to know that, like, if she feels comfortable doing it, I would love to give her the opportunity to sing the song she felt like she wasn't able to sing to other people. Oh, my God.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

I. I will ask her. I'm still trying to think about how to broach this information to begin with, but I have a whole day with her today.

[Alex Goldman]

And again, I apologize, because I'm also putting pressure on you by doing this. I know this is nuts.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

No, it's.

[Alex Goldman]

It's.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

It's. I mean, technically, you are. But this is like. God, if this could happen, I would be, like, just over the moon.

[Alex Goldman]

But, yeah, it would be so cool.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Two weeks is like.

[Alex Goldman]

I understand. Yes, I understand.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

I will talk to her today. I mean, I got to broach the story thing first, and then I'll. I'll.

[Alex Goldman]

I'll.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

I will tell her.

[Alex Goldman]

Okay, let's see how it goes.

[Megan Banning]

Can you.

[Alex Goldman]

Can you hear the desperation in my voice? Can you hear it? It's so bad. Listening to that gives me secondhand embarrassment for myself. That's wacky. Okay. Chapter four, the First Bird, Part two. So a couple days later, we get an email from Kenan saying Megan's agreed to talk to us. And we're like, holy shit, this is gonna work. Megan's dream is going to come true. Kenan's going to get to hear his mother's music. We're not going to get banned from on Air Fest, and best of all, I'm not gonna have to embarrass myself trying to make new friends in front of a bunch of strangers. Everything is coming up Goldman. And then we get on a video call with Megan, and without saying it directly, she very clearly conveys that she does not want to even be talking to us.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

You good, mom?

[Megan Banning]

Yeah, I'm really great, Keenan.

[Alex Goldman]

See what I mean? Now, under normal circumstances, this would have given me pause, because the last thing I want to do is force a spotlight on someone who genuinely wants to avoid attention, even if it means that I'm going to walk away from this with nothing to show for it. But Kenan cautioned me about his mom that while she may hate the idea of attention, once she warms up a bit, Megan actually kind of loves it. So all I had to do was warm her up. So I'm wondering, just to start, if you could introduce yourself.

[Megan Banning]

My name is Megan Banning. I am the mother of Kenan Tamblyn, who started this kerfuffle. I live in Halifax, Nova Scotia, which is a beautiful coastal town in Canada, and I'm here to visit my son.

[Alex Goldman]

And he's ruined your whole trip, right?

[Megan Banning]

Well, he wasn't in the door. Like, I think it was like the first day. And I. And I cried and I don't cry very, very rarely.

[Alex Goldman]

Oh, wow.

[Megan Banning]

I was like, this is so personal. How dare you? And it was. It's a part of my life that breaks my heart because it's a shot.

[Alex Goldman]

Of coat of water. Right. Well, I want to. I like, want to ask you about that. Like, how did you get interested in music?

[Megan Banning]

I came from a very dysfunctional home. My mother was bipolar. My father was an alcoholic. But we had love and music and we danced when on a good day, we danced. But music was always a thing. There was a piano in our home. My mother tells a story. I just clong onto the piano and everything shut out. It was my piece and I could play anything. I could. I Playboy. I could hear everything. I could play and I could write music. Instantly, I went to another place. I went to a place that I was calm and it was like I was in another world. It was my world. It was my music. I played every day, probably eight hours a day.

[Alex Goldman]

Eight hours?

[Megan Banning]

Yeah, I played that's All I did is play music. Now I just play Euchre Online.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

For.

[Alex Goldman]

The next 45 minutes. Megan told me about her life and her music. She told me about her dreams of becoming a songwriter and about how when she didn't hear back from Katie Lang, she decided it meant she wasn't good enough to be a professional musician. So she sold her piano, stashed the last of her recordings and nondescript boxes and drawers where she expected they'd stay until long after she died. Keenan would later tell me this was the most she ever he ever heard his mom talk about her music. And even though it was clear that revisiting these memories was indeed very painful for Megan, it also seemed like the process of actually doing that, sifting through these old, painful memories, it was almost liberating for her. It reminded me of that thing that Mr. Rogers used to say about how if it's mentionable, it's manageable. Like, as long as we can figure out a way to talk about it, we can figure out a way to carry it. And I think for Kenan, watching his mom talk so openly about her music also kind of freed him to talk about what the silence around this music has meant to him and why he started this whole thing in the first place.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

I guess it mostly came from a desire to hear those songs because my mom is a very, very open person, as you can hear. And this seemed to be one of the only things that she didn't want to talk about that much. And every time I said, can I hear those songs?

[Megan Banning]

No.

[Alex Goldman]

No.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

They were all. They're on. Only on a reel to reel tape. And that's gonna take. I don't know how to clean that up. And I got the sheet. I don't know where it is. And I didn't know how much of this was true and how much was her holding back. And I thought maybe all this story is. Is my problem is that I need to get this tape restored. And that way I could present it to her and then I could listen to it, and that was that. And then now the story has kind of become a lot more about her, which I love, because she has a story. I think that because this is one of the few things that she is hesitant to talk about, it seemed like a unfinished chapter of her life. And it could be a bit of a bookend to that story, but not necessarily the end.

[Megan Banning]

Yeah. Can I just say, let me tell you what this means to me, that my son, who I love to death.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

I'd hope so.

[Megan Banning]

Well, yeah, but I didn't under. I didn't get how much he knew how much it meant to me until he did this. I never thought it mattered to him. I didn't think he. To me, it was just something I did. I didn't realize that he paid attention to it. And when he said, mom, I got this about your music, I went, what about my music? Like, I cried. I was mad. Ask him. I was in tears. I can't talk about this. Say, can we talk? No. It wasn't till today that I would let him talk about it because it's so personal, because it's when you let yourself down. When I didn't do something that was I should have done. I didn't do something I was supposed to do. And it's a regret. But in my heart of hearts, I'm a musician.

[Alex Goldman]

By this point, we'd been talking to Megan for over an hour and I feel like I understand everything that Kenan told me about his mom. This woman has not had an easy life. She's been knocked around, beaten down, but there's still so much fire inside of her. And yes, she spent decades carrying the weight of her regrets and fears, but I am a firm believer in the idea that it is never too late to change your life. And also, Kenan had told me that all his mom needed was a push. So I decided to push her. I say, megan, I don't want to beat around the bush. You're a musician with songs that nobody's ever heard. And I'm a podcaster with an empty stage and an audience hungry for something that stirs their souls. Would you do us all the honor of performing your music live at on airfest in Brooklyn, New York?

[Megan Banning]

Oh, not happening. I'm not. That's never going to happen. I'm never going to be on a stage and sing my songs because a, I can't sing anymore. Like, I can't. Like, I like my voice. I smoke fucking Marlboros.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Just cause you don't sing like Katie Lang doesn't mean no, I don't want.

[Megan Banning]

To fucking sing like her anyway. She's too twangy.

[Alex Goldman]

No.

[Megan Banning]

Fuck no. Just could not do that. But here's what I could do. I would love to have someone else sing, like to have my music heard and my song heard. That would be. I would die to hear that. Yeah, I'm getting teary eyed just thinking about.

[Producer/Team Member (possibly Emma Cortland or Amore Yates)]

Would be.

[Alex Goldman]

It'd be something if there was one song that we could get someone to perform. What song would that be? It's called Room Runes, Megan Told Me is a song about a feeling she had years ago after her then fiance broke off their engagement. It's about that singular kind of heartbreak you experience when you're by yourself in the same spaces you used to share with someone you loved. When the volume of your sadness and anger is only outweighed by how much you miss being in a room with them. What would it mean to you for people to hear that music? Would it mean anything at all to you now? Like, what would it feel like to have people in public hear that?

[Megan Banning]

It would take you back to me back then. That. That young. I was never sweet. I can't say sweet. No. But that. That part of me that still exists. To hear that music and die. And is it good? I mean, it could be shit. I mean, I haven't listened to it for so long, but I just know, Heart in my heart, I know it's good.

[Alex Goldman]

You should tell the people who we are and what our new show is. I'm Robert Smith, and this is Jacob Goldstein, and we used to host a show called Planet Money. And now we're back making this new.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Podcast about the best ideas and people and businesses in history and some of.

[Alex Goldman]

The worst people, horrible ideas, and destructive companies in the history of business. We struggled to come up with a.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Name, decided to call it Business History.

[Alex Goldman]

You know why? Why?

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Because it's a show about the history.

[Alex Goldman]

Of business, available everywhere you get your podcasts. Chapter five, 99. Stones. Okay, so we've spoken to Megan. She's told us she wants to do this, and that when she gets back to Halifax on Tuesday, she's going to send over the sheet music and the cassette. And all of this is great. We say goodbye, we hang up the call, and then all we can do is wait and pray that at some point between now and then, Megan doesn't change her mind. Because if she does, we have no backup plan for this live show and no time to figure out an alternative. And if you think I'm simply. I'm mentioning this simply for the sake of ramping up narrative tension. One, you're right. Two, let me remind you, this woman has not let anyone hear her music in nearly four decades, including her son. And now we're expecting her to turn over the only recordings via snail mail to a bald stranger whose end game is to share it with the world. So, needless to say, I did not sleep well on Monday of last week. I spent the evening imagining what the organizers of On Airfest would do with this programming slot. If I failed to fill it, my most fantastical idea would be that there would be an Alex Goldman effigy contest, during which the most realistic Alex Goldman would be strung up right there in the main hall so attendees could take turns beating it like a pinata.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Two steps.

[Alex Goldman]

When I wake up on Tuesday, I set about finding a singer. I don't know a lot of musicians in New York, so I texted my friend Eliza McLam, who lives in LA. Eliza is a musician and a podcaster. She hosts a podcast called Binchtopia. But her voice, guys, her voice, it's somehow delicate and cuts right through you. She sounds like she could sing you a lullaby and eat you alive simultaneously. And honestly, she would have been a perfect for this. But I was hoping she could recommend someone in the city. And when I got in touch with her, she told me she had actually just moved to the city. And immediately I'm like, oh, this is meant to be. So I got on my knees and I started begging and she was like, calm down, dude, I'd love to sing Megan's song. And I'm like, great. As soon as I get the music, I'll send it over. We check in with Keenan throughout the day. Kenan checks in with Megan, but by 7:30pm, there's still no news. Megan's told Kenan that she knows exactly where the cassette tape is, but that the sheet music might take a bit longer to find. And as for the reel to reel, which contains the only copies of the studio recordings Megan made for Katie Lange, that was completely mia. So we agree to circle up on Wednesday morning.

[Sponsor/Promoter Voice]

Wednesday.

[Alex Goldman]

Wednesday morning. There's good news from Keenan. The sheet music and the cassette have been located. But the sheet music is just piano chords. The lyrics were written by hand. Megan has no way to play the cassette and, and, and there's a huge snowstorm coming to Nova Scotia, so we scrap the idea of sending this stuff through the mail. Kenan starts calling audio nerds in Halifax, looking for someone capable of converting a cassette into a digital file file they can send to us. Obviously, this is not an ideal situation, but then again, none of the work we've done on this project is ideal. And yet it is starting to feel like we have inadvertently assembled a small army of people who are deeply invested in the outcome of this operation. Like, within hours, Keenan has made contact with a legendary local musician named Rich o', Coyne, who is has the gear to get the job done. And Rich is like, yes, bring me your tired, your poor, your busted tapes. I will convert them and then we can get them to Eliza. But due to the storm, nobody is able to get over to riches until Thursday. At 7am on Thursday, Keenan texts to say that the tape is on its way to riches. And at this point, we are exactly one week to the day from our show at On Airfest, and the organizers of On Airfest have started sending us follow up emails reminding us that our script and our clips and our photos are due by Friday, AKA tomorrow. But the thing is, we don't have any of that stuff because this whole story hinges on a single song. A song we've never heard. And at this point, there's a pretty good chance we never will. Because remember, this tape that's heading to Richard's, it's nearly 40 years old and it's been hiding at the bottom of a box filled with all kinds of other shit, and there's really no telling what kind of condition it'll be in when it arrives or if it'll even be salvageable. So when Rich sends this photo of the cassette, our hearts fucking sink. The tape is visibly bent, twisted up inside the cassette's plastic casing. And as I'm looking at it, there's a brief moment where I wish I had quicksand near my house. Then I could just take a walk and end up accidentally buried up to my collarbones and explain to passerby that unfortunately, I will not be able to attend the on Air Fest 2025, the premier festival of sound and storytelling featuring intimate conversations, performances and live podcasts, because I'll be here in quicksand. Anyway, about an hour later, the thought evaporates completely because Rich, he goes in, manually re reels the tape with the kind of care and precision one might expect from a man who's deactivating a bomb. And by noon, we have digital copies of Meghan's songs in our inbox. And the moment we hear them, it's like, look, I don't believe in destiny, but over the course of my life I have experienced. I'm going to start crying. But over the course of my life I've experienced alignments that certainly felt like they were faded. And when Megan sent music to my friend Eliza, I felt like I was in the middle of one of those things where a hundred crazy elements suddenly and inexplicably aligned precisely the way they were meant to. So without further ado, I'd like to invite Eliza McLam to join me for the sixth and final chapter of our show, the Song Rooms by Megan Banning.

[Singer/Performer (Eliza McLam)]

Smoke Filled rooms and lonely afternoon? Empty faces going nowhere? Places idle chatter as we gather at no name bars no introductions needed. I've been here before? Nowhere once forgotten? Nowhere once forgotten well, I'm ambling on and it's all gone wrong? Cause I'm missing you? I'm missing you? I can't complain? It's been a gambling game? Him, I'm just a few cards sure. So I'll wrap myself up in your memory Just to get me through the rough spots? I'll lift my glass to survival?

[Sponsor/Promoter Voice]

Oh.

[Singer/Performer (Eliza McLam)]

Meanwhile I'll be missing you? I'll be missing you? Oh, I'll be missing you? Smoke. Filled rooms and lonely afternoon? Empty faces going nowhere? Places idle chatter as we gather at no name bars? No introductions needed? Been here before.

[Alex Goldman]

Thank you so much. Thank you. So what you're hearing right now is the recording from a boombox on top of a piano from 1983, I think. So what you don't know is that Kenan and Megan have been watching via a Zoom call, which is being held by my producer Sari this whole time. So. I'm wondering if I could just bring the phone up real quick. Yeah.

[Producer/Team Member (possibly Emma Cortland or Amore Yates)]

Yep.

[Alex Goldman]

Hey, guys, how you doing? Hold on a second. I'm gonna put you on speaker. No, I don't know how to put you on speaker. Can you help? Oh, yeah, you have to unmute yourselves. Can you unmute yourselves real quick? Can we bring the music down? The house music down. Hi. Hey, guys. How you doing? How. How was. What did you think?

[Megan Banning]

That was something, Eliza, thank you. You did a great job, sweetheart. Really great. Kenan's breaking my heart.

[Alex Goldman]

He's on Zoom.

[Megan Banning]

He's in Toronto. I'm a Nova Scotian. To see his sweet little face. We both broke into tears. And thank you. For someone who I was like, this is not happening. Really quite something. And Alex and all your team, I appreciate it. It was a bit much pulling this off in a week, going into Blizzard and finding all this memories 40 years ago of stuff I never thought would happen to and the fact that there's people that are hearing the song. I mean, I got five more that are even better, by the way.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Very much like her to save something like that. There's more and they're great.

[Megan Banning]

And Rich Coyne, who helped me out, this strange man. I just ran up and said hi. And a blizzard. Here's a tape. Good luck, Chuck. Bye. And ran off.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

He happened to live five minutes away from her, too.

[Megan Banning]

Five minutes away, and he wasn't home. It's like Keenan, this is enough. If there's a snowstorm, I'm in Hollow vibes. This is wand. Really, Alex, you convinced me. I was like, this is not happening. Like, it's. It's a lot. And I am blessed and the love of my son who remembered and kept the memory of my music and remember, because I forgot it was in a box in the basement that I spent four hours looking for. And it's been quite an experience. You know, that poor 23 year old that wrote it so many years ago. So what has inspired me is I'm going to go buy myself a keyboard and get back to my music, because I'd love to play the piano, but the music is still in me.

[Alex Goldman]

All right, guys, well, I'm going to hand you back to Sari, because I'm running out of time. No, you're great. Thank. Thank you both so much for sharing this party. I'm going to start crying again. Thank you both so much. I really appreciate it alone. Thank you so much for coming. Coming. So at the top of the episode, I teased that we had a special addition to the story. And that addition is that about a month ago, Hyper Fix producer Emma Cortland and I jumped on a phone call with Keenan to find out what he'd been up to since we last talked and what Megan had been up to after they opened their lives to us in such a big and vulnerable way. Which, I gotta say, opening up to a podcast is big and vulnerable anyway. But the stakes felt so much higher with Kenan and his mom because we were performing her songs to a live studio audience for the first time ever. And we were just curious how they were doing once the dust had finally settled. And I also knew that Kenan had some pretty big news in their life since we last talked. So we jumped on a video call to catch up. So, Keenan, you. You got married?

[Kenan Tamblyn]

I did, Yes, I did get married.

[Alex Goldman]

How long. How long have you been married now?

[Kenan Tamblyn]

August 30th.

[Alex Goldman]

Congratulations.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

How long ago was August 30th? You do the math. I'm not a whiz at it.

[Alex Goldman]

Me either. Until August 30th. October, November. Oh, so like three months? Not very long.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Alex Goldman]

Oh.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

So actually, technically, we signed the papers in April, but then we didn't have the ceremony till August 30, so we signed the paper on our 10th anniversary because I was like, well, that seems very fitting. And we were going to do the ceremony out in Nova Scotia, where my mom lives, and she was like, don't do it. The weather's going to be terrible. Just do this. Do the ceremony later. And she was right. It was perfect weather the entire time we were there at the end of August, and the day of the ceremony, pouring rain. We had had to move the ceremony back half an hour because Spencer's family was arriving late. And we're like, okay, let's push it to 4:30. I kid you not.

[Alex Goldman]

4:28.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Like the clouds part, because we were doing an outdoor ceremony, so. And we didn't. We had a backup kind of, but it was like, if we can't do.

[Alex Goldman]

This outside, it's not gonna work out.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

And it was. The timing was unbelievable. And, like, I'm reading my vows, and this heron flies by right in front of my view. And I was like, I don't know. Is that a sign?

[Megan Banning]

Whoa.

[Alex Goldman]

Is that good luck?

[Kenan Tamblyn]

I'm just gonna say it's good luck.

[Alex Goldman]

Aren't herons like harbingers of death? I'm sorry.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

You know what?

[Alex Goldman]

I don't know that to be true. I'm making that up.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

We, like, Googled it, and there's a lot of different interpretations of herons. So I'm just like, I'm gonna pick the good ones, and I'll say that it's those.

[Alex Goldman]

Okay, what music did you walk down the aisle to?

[Kenan Tamblyn]

So that was a big point of contention. So I'm obviously very big into music, as I'm sure you guys remember. And I was like, it's just something instrumental, nice and slow. And I was going through, like, hundreds of instrumental covers of things. And I really wanted to go down to Rainbow Connection because I'm a huge Paul Williams fan, and I'm like, if I can walk down the aisle to a Paul Williams song, I'll be so happy. Spencer was like, I don't think so.

[Alex Goldman]

Not to correct you, by the way, that song's actually by Kermit the Frog.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Well, okay. Well, you know, he had a little help from Paul on the writing side. We ended up with an acoustic instrumental of David Bowie's Heroes, which is a little typical, but I was like, it's a good song, and Spencer actually likes it. So I was like, okay, that's fine. That's fair. It's not one of the Celine Dion songs that he was going for.

[Alex Goldman]

You did wonderful. And did you guys go on a honeymoon? Is there, like, anything going on after this, or is it just you got married? Honeymoon is for the future.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Honeymoon is for the future.

[Alex Goldman]

So what else have we missed over the course of the last year? I mean, really, I wanted to call you and ask you about your mom. How is your mom doing? Have we missed anything important?

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Yes, she's doing great. She's doing great. She's gonna be doing a movie in Ireland, which is really cool. So I might go visit. I've never been there before. I might go when she's shooting, so that'll be really cool. I mean, I talked to you guys a little bit earlier about our story getting picked up by the CBC here, which was crazy, right?

[Alex Goldman]

What were the circumstances behind that?

[Kenan Tamblyn]

So I got a DM from a journalist whose name I'm going to pull up, but I believe it's Karsten Knox. Yeah, Carsten Knox. Really nice guy. Got a message from him because he heard the episode and he was like, hey, we want to profile this story on cbc. Which was like, huh? What? I called my mom and I was like, the news wants to talk to you. And she was like, what are you talking about? Because she kind of thought that this was. It was a pretty emotional thing going through this whole thing with you guys for her, like, overwhelmingly positive at the end of the day. Like, you know, I had so many people in my family being like, you did such an amazing thing for your mom. And, you know, she cried and we cried and it was great. But so I was like, are you willing to go through this again on the news? And she was like, okay. And so we got interviewed for the news. It was only about a 15 minute segment, which was really cool. But the main thing was they played her song on the radio.

[Alex Goldman]

Wow, she's famous now.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

That was cool. So it got played on the radio in. In Nova Scotia. And because a lot of people listen to the cbc, she had three people, including a neighbor, reach out and say, I've got a keyboard. Do you want my old keyboard? Yeah. So she got herself a keyboard. And the playing part, playing piano has proven to be a little bit difficult, so that's been tough. But she told me recently, she's like, I'm writing lyrics. I've got. I keep writing things on little pads of paper, wherever I can. So I don't know if there's going to be a full other song again. But she's being creative, which is amazing. I'm very happy for her. So hopefully there'll be more from that.

[Alex Goldman]

Writing lyrics is a big deal. And also I would say that, like, having this part of your life be exposed in such a public way probably puts a lot of pressure on her. If a bunch of people, like, heard a song I wrote 40 years ago and Were like. And the context was I gave up on songwriting. The pressure would be great. Like, I. I knew going into it, like, that was a concern I had. But also, like, I mean, I loved the songs that we found. They were so good.

[Producer/Team Member (possibly Emma Cortland or Amore Yates)]

So to find out that, like, that the song that you wrote 40 years ago really is a banger, like, to the extent, you know that it's just like, oh, shit, now I have this responsibility to write another one. And then it's the sophomore album Conundrum.

[Alex Goldman]

I know.

[Producer/Team Member (possibly Emma Cortland or Amore Yates)]

Like, fuck. And she's. And she's a different person now.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

That was. She's. Yes. I mean, she's got a lot more life experience, so hopefully there's a lot more to write about.

[Sponsor/Promoter Voice]

Yeah.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

I mean, my. One of my favorite things about the entire experience of us doing this was when I finally heard the song and I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[Alex Goldman]

It's actually good. I mean, that was like a big. That could have been like a very terrible end to the story. It could have been a situation where we got to the end and finally got the song and it was just awful. But, like, she's a great lyricist. She's a good singer, She's a good pianist. Like, it was really like, we lucked out there at the. In the. In the 11th hour. It was very nice to hear.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

I know, I know. It was crazy.

[Alex Goldman]

How often do you. How. When was the last time you saw her?

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Last time I saw her was at the wedding because, you know, she lives many, many moons away. But I'm gonna see her over Christmas, so that's gonna be great.

[Producer/Team Member (possibly Emma Cortland or Amore Yates)]

Are you doing Christmas in Toronto or Nova Scotia?

[Kenan Tamblyn]

I'm gonna do it in. In Nova Scotia. Yeah. So I haven't actually been able to spend. No, that's not true. My mom came down here for Christmas once, but we haven't been able to spend real Christmas together in quite a long time. Just because of my work schedule. But now I don't work over the holidays, so.

[Sponsor/Promoter Voice]

Yay.

[Alex Goldman]

Oh, that's great. Did you get a new job?

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Well, I quit the record store. Yes. A while ago. So I'm not doing retail. I'm a gardener and I'm a landscaper. Our season actually ends. This is my last week, so I'll be semi jobless for a few months. So we'll see. We'll see what happens.

[Alex Goldman]

But that's being a. I was a landscaper, I think, when I was 20.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

And a lot of people do it earlier in life. I'm doing it later.

[Producer/Team Member (possibly Emma Cortland or Amore Yates)]

Well, to be Fair. Alex has done pretty much every job there is to do, and he's done them at very, you know. Yeah.

[Sponsor/Promoter Voice]

So this is.

[Producer/Team Member (possibly Emma Cortland or Amore Yates)]

This was not a. I did it as a young man. It's like Alex has.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Yeah.

[Producer/Team Member (possibly Emma Cortland or Amore Yates)]

This career just happens to be the thing that he settled on at this specific time in his life.

[Alex Goldman]

And I didn't start doing radio until I was 30. 30 was when I first got into it, so I was pretty late.

[Producer/Team Member (possibly Emma Cortland or Amore Yates)]

And, Alex, don't you think that, like, if you. If you didn't find out that you were good at radio, you probably would have just, like, kept sampling things?

[Alex Goldman]

Yes, I would have. I would have drummed out of every gig. But. But I. I was a landscaper, and then in the winter, it turned into a Christmas decor company, so they would put up Christmas lights for rich people, and it was the worst job. I was just freezing my ass off. I was miserable. People would complain about how far apart the lights were. And so I loved landscaping. It's like, you're outside, it's. You get good exercise. It feels great. Like, I love it. Even on super hot days. Christmas decor was like, the polar opposite, pun intended. It was the worst.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Yeah, we don't do any. Any snow maintenance, nothing. It's just, like, we close up shop for four months, which is, I mean, money wise, not the best, but it means, like, I'm totally unemployed from there, so I get some nice EI hopeful. Hopefully. We'll see. I'm gonna hopefully spend this time doing. Pursuing other things that are fulfilling. We'll see. I. I finished writing a screenplay, something that I had always wanted to do.

[Alex Goldman]

Congratulations.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

I set my mind to it, and I actually finished one, and I'm working on number two already, which is awesome. Will they ever get made?

[Alex Goldman]

Probably not.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

But, hey, I did it. That was. My big goal recently, was to try and write one of those.

[Producer/Team Member (possibly Emma Cortland or Amore Yates)]

So, I mean, honestly, Kenan, it's just like, it's so nice to see you. I'm so glad that you did that and that, like, it's like. I don't know. I feel like the. I don't know if it felt this way for you, but for us, that episode that we made together was, like, really. It was so special to us. Alex, when I didn't get to be at the event, but when Alex left the event, he sent me a text message from his car where he was just, like, sobbing.

[Alex Goldman]

And he said that it was really intense. It was really intense.

[Producer/Team Member (possibly Emma Cortland or Amore Yates)]

He said it was, like, the most meaningful thing that he had done in his professional career. And it's like, you know, we do these things.

[Alex Goldman]

Oh, my God.

[Producer/Team Member (possibly Emma Cortland or Amore Yates)]

And I'm telling you this because it's like, you know, we take on these things because we're like, you know, we're gonna solve your problems. We're gonna do something that, like, you know, changes something in your life. But, like, your story actually sort of shifted. Not sort of, certainly for Alex, and I really felt it too, although I didn't get to be there for the live experience, but, like, it really shifted something in our lives and kind of prove to us with the show, like, what it could be, like, how kind of how special it could be and what it could mean for us. So I feel like we have a lot of thanks to you for being game to really fucking roll with us and really co produce and. Yeah, it was just, you know, it was like. It really was like a magical experience that couldn't have happened unless every single person involved wanted it to happen in the same way.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Yes. Although my mom wanted it probably the least out of anyone.

[Alex Goldman]

Yeah, I know. Absolutely. Absolutely.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

But she loves me, so she was willing to come along for the ride.

[Producer/Team Member (possibly Emma Cortland or Amore Yates)]

Good mom. Good mom. Good mom.

[Alex Goldman]

Yeah. It did feel like the first episode of Hyperfixed in a way. Like, it was the one where we were like, oh, this is what this show can be.

[Sponsor/Promoter Voice]

Yeah.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Oh, my God. Wow.

[Alex Goldman]

Part of what made this episode very fun, kind of stressful, but a very unique production experience was that we were working with Kenan to make this happen. So he got to basically have the firsthand experience of a producer rushing to get everything together in time. And Kenan tells me that it was pretty exhilarating. I had so much fun.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

I was, like, pacing around that one day when I was getting the tapes from Rich. I spent the entire day just pacing around my living room, like, okay, I got a text from them.

[Alex Goldman]

Now I have to text them.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Now I have to do this. And it was just like watching the pieces fall into place was like, oh, my God.

[Producer/Team Member (possibly Emma Cortland or Amore Yates)]

And it could have fallen apart at any fucking moment.

[Alex Goldman]

And the.

[Producer/Team Member (possibly Emma Cortland or Amore Yates)]

So I'm texting you as the organizers of the event are texting me, and they're like, hey, your assets were supposed to be in a week ago. And I'm like, yeah, I know, but we just completely changed what we were going to do. And I know that we haven't talked to you about it, but, like. And they're like, can you get on the phone with us right now? That happened.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

It was just, like.

[Alex Goldman]

That was scary.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Oh, my God.

[Producer/Team Member (possibly Emma Cortland or Amore Yates)]

And they were, like, not happy with us. But once I explained to them what we were doing, they were like, actually, that sounds pretty magical. They were still upset that we didn't have the assets in, but it was just like. I think that it really felt like, in a way, every person who heard about what we were doing kind of became infected with it.

[Alex Goldman]

The funny thing about on Airfest is I had never performed at it or been to it before, and I didn't really know the vibe of what the presentations were like. And when I got the call to participate, I was like, okay, this will be a great way to get the show some exposure. I didn't know what any other shows were going to be doing, so I just assumed everybody was going to be making elaborate audio projects until I got there. We got there, and we put on this big production, like, our very intense, intricate production that involved a lot of pieces of tape, so on and so forth, and I just sort of thought, like, hey, this is going to be all about live audio performance. And it was just all people, like, just chatting on stage. Like, we were the ones who put together the crazy thing. And when we got there and we were like, this is what we want to do. We need you to fire the tape. We need to get this person on here. They were like, what?

[Producer/Team Member (possibly Emma Cortland or Amore Yates)]

Yeah, we didn't know because we had never. Alex, you had never been to the event either.

[Alex Goldman]

I've never been done Airfest before.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Oh, my God.

[Producer/Team Member (possibly Emma Cortland or Amore Yates)]

Yeah, I know. That was so silly that, like, we, like, actually didn't do any research into what other people. So crazy. But, yeah, I mean, Kenan, it's just, like. It's really good to see you, and I don't have any other questions for you, but I just, like. I wanted to thank you as much as anything for. For providing an occasion and for. For being such a good teammate in that whole thing. It was, like, really magical for us.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Oh, that's so sweet. Well, thank you, guys.

[Alex Goldman]

And as ever, if you're ever in the city, I'd love to get together. And if Megan's ever in New York City, I feel like very least owe her a beer, so.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Yes, yes. Or a wine, perhaps. She's in that era.

[Producer/Team Member (possibly Emma Cortland or Amore Yates)]

In the meantime, Kenan, so good to see you. Thanks for checking in with us.

[Alex Goldman]

Yeah, thank you so much, Kenan.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

Yeah, you too.

[Alex Goldman]

Thanks again to Kenan and, of course, Megan for sharing their lives with us in such a public way. Before we get to the credits, I just wanted to play you an original recording of Megan Banning performing the song Rooms from the early 1980s.

[Singer/Performer (Eliza McLam)]

Smoke filled rooms and lonely afternoons Empty faces going on Nowhere places idle chatter as we gather at no name bars no introductions needed cause I've been here before Nowhere once forgotten Nowhere once forgotten well I'm ambling on and it's all gone wrong Cause I'm missing you.

[Megan Banning]

Whoa.

[Singer/Performer (Eliza McLam)]

I'm missing you I can't complain it's been a gambling game I'm just a few cards short so wrap myself up in your memory Just to get me through the rough spots I'll lift my glass to survival Meanwhile I'll be missing you oh I'll be missing you.

[Alex Goldman]

Oh.

[Singer/Performer (Eliza McLam)]

I'll be missing you. Smoked, filled rooms and lonely afternoons Empty faces going nowhere places idle chatter as we gather at no name bars no introductions needed Dead cuz I've been here before.

[Alex Goldman]

Hyper Fixed is produced and edited by Emma Cortland, Amore Yates and Serious Offer Sukanek. It was engineered by Tony Williams. The music is by the mysterious Breakmaster Cylinder and me. You can get bonus episodes, access our discord and much more by becoming a Premium Hyperfix member@hyperfixed pod.com/join. It's the listeners who support the show that are really keeping us afloat. So thank you so much for your support. Also, we have a bunch of new merch that you can buy. T shirts, hats, mugs, sweatshirts. You can find it [e-mail] and premium members get a 15% discount. Again, that is shop hyper fixed Pod Hyper Fixed is a proud member of Radiotopia from prx, a network of independent creator owned listener supported podcasts. Discover Audio with Vision at Radiotopia fm. Thanks so much for listening and Happy New Year. Radiotopia.

[Kenan Tamblyn]

From prx.