Episode Overview

Episode Title: Unpopular Opinion (But It's True): Every Child Deserves Both Mom and Dad
Podcast: I Don't Have Enough FAITH to Be an ATHEIST
Host: Dr. Frank Turek
Guest: Katy Faust, founder of Them Before Us
Date: December 5, 2025

This episode tackles one of today’s most contentious social issues: the necessity of children being raised by their biological mother and father. Dr. Frank Turek and guest Katy Faust, founder of Them Before Us, engage in a candid, biblically centered, and deeply personal discussion about marriage, parenting, and the consequences of prioritizing adult desires over children’s needs. The conversation explores divorce, same-sex parenting, surrogacy, and broader cultural trends that, they argue, harm children by destabilizing the traditional family structure.

Key Points & Insights

1. Setting the Stage: Authority & Unpopular Truths

• [00:03] Dr. Turek challenges listeners to consider the foundation of their moral and ethical decisions:
  • Is it personal preference, cultural trends, or submission to a higher/biblical authority?
  • "If what we're about to say is biblical and you call yourself a Christian, you're going to have to agree..." (A, 00:03)
• Scriptural Framing: 1 Peter 2—Jesus as the cornerstone; biblical truth can be "a rock of offense" (A, 00:03).

2. Katy Faust's Story & Mission

• [03:38] Katy's activism began in 2014, outed from blogging anonymously after criticizing aspects of the gay marriage debate and its impact on children.
• Personal Motivation:
  • "A child being raised by two moms is a child who has lost their father, and a child being raised by two dads is a child who has lost their mother." (B, 03:43)
  • Experiences in youth ministry, adoption, and as a mother shaped her concern for children's rights and well-being.
• Founding Them Before Us: Advocates for children’s right to be known and loved by their mother and father, including legal representation on issues intersecting family and marriage.

3. The Importance of the Biological Two-Parent Family

• [07:01] Katy cites compelling statistics linking absent fathers and broken families to a litany of social ills:
  • 90% of homeless teens, 70-85% of inmates, 71% of teen pregnancies—all fatherless.
  • "There is one thing you can do...unite children to the two people to whom they have a natural right, their own mother and father." (B, 07:14)
• Analysis: Social problems persist regardless of money spent; what's missing is orienting adult choices (especially sexual/relational) around children's fundamental needs.

4. The Biblical Mandate: The Strong Sacrificing for the Weak

• [11:04] Katy: "That actually goes completely against the biblical mandate that we have for the strong to sacrifice for the weak..."
• Reversal in Modern Culture: Adults prioritize their fulfillment, forcing children to bear the cost—across all demographics, not only in LGBTQ+ contexts.

5. Personal Reflections: Katy’s Upbringing

• [09:45] Katy shares her experience growing up with divorced parents; her mom partnered with another woman, her dad remarried.
• Describes a complex yet loving set of relationships, no animosity, but emphasizes the real instability and losses endured by children post-divorce:
  • "Instability is a fixture of a child's life post divorce…" (B, 12:41)
• Blogging anonymously initially to avoid personal/family fallout.

6. Navigating Family Boundaries as Christians in “Woke” Culture

• [15:19] Katy describes practical, age-appropriate boundaries and conversations with family supporting worldviews she disagrees with:
  • With young children, be protective; as they mature, equip them with facts, and ultimately consult as they own their beliefs.
  • "You're welcome to come to Thanksgiving...but please, no PDA and do not have any conversations with my children without me being there." (B, 17:04)

7. Seattle Life, Public Hostility & Resilience

• [25:15] Katy on being a Christian advocate in Seattle:
  • Facing open hostility, dismissed by AV crews as a “hate group,” but these challenges confirm they're making an impact.
  • “If somebody doesn’t hate you, you’re doing something wrong.” (A, 27:53)
• Raising Resilient Kids: Proud her children, educated in public schools, can confidently articulate and defend their worldview.

8. The Law’s Role: Gay Marriage, No-Fault Divorce, and Polyamory

• [30:54] Faust and Turek argue legal acceptance of same-sex marriage teaches society that men and women are “optional” in parenting, which they view as a “lie” about child development.
  • "We are going to stomp out legal gay marriage because it victimizes children." (B, 30:54)
• Marriage’s Three Pillars (from Jesus’ Teachings): Permanence, monogamy, complementarity—each lost in social/legal shifts, harming children (see quote below).

Notable Quote:

• "Marriage is distinct for kids because it's the only relationship that unites the two people to whom they have a natural right. The way that Jesus defined marriage had three distinct characteristics: monogamy, permanence, and complementarity… Each have a very specific child benefit." (B, 33:03)

9. Divorce: The Hard Truths

• [37:28] Divorce, except for cases of abuse/adultery/addiction, transfers adult struggles onto children:
  • "What divorce is, is it's a transference of the hard work from adult to child." (B, 39:13)
• Lifelong Impact: Role reversal—children become responsible for adult needs, leading to emotional and even physical consequences (studies on telomere shortening, longer-term health decline).
• Children of Divorce vs. Death: Losing a parent to death yields better outcomes than through divorce, due to the nature of the loss and the supporting community.

Notable Quote:

• "When you talk about divorce, you're talking about messing with something that is going to have implications for decades to come for your kids." (B, 44:32)

10. Practical Advice & Resources

• [48:04] Katy’s advice for those contemplating divorce:
  • Get off social media, distance from recently divorced friends, surround yourself with healthy marriages for support and accountability.
  • "Divorce is contagious. When you have one close friend that divorces, you are 75% more likely to get divorced yourself." (B, 48:04)
• Recommended Books:
  • Them Before Us: Why We Need a Global Children’s Rights Movement (Faust & Manning)
  • Raising Conservative Kids in a Woke City (Faust & Manning)
  • Sacred Marriage (Gary Thomas)
  • Love and Respect (Emerson Eggerichs)
  • Real Marriage (Mark Driscoll & Grace Driscoll)

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• [00:03] (Turek): "Much of what we are going to say is going to be very unpopular with the culture."
• [03:43] (Faust): "A child being raised by two moms is a child who has lost their father, and a child being raised by two dads is a child who has lost their mother."
• [07:14] (Faust): "There is one, there is one thing you can do...unite children to the two people to whom they have a natural right, their own mother and father."
• [11:04] (Faust): “It goes completely against the biblical mandate that we have for the strong to sacrifice for the weak.”
• [33:03] (Faust): "Monogamy means only a child's own mother and father are going to be in the home... Permanence... Complementarity... Children don't just need to be loved in the abstract. They're made for male love and female love."
• [39:13] (Faust): "What divorce is, is it's a transference of the hard work from adult to child..."
• [44:32] (Faust): "When you're talking about divorce, you're talking about messing with something that is going to have implications for decades to come for your kids."
• [48:04] (Faust): “Get off social media. You become what you behold and get away from your friends who have divorced. Divorce is contagious. When you have one close friend that divorces, you are 75% more likely to get divorced yourself.”

Segment Timestamps

• 00:03–03:18: Introduction, biblical framing, authority in life
• 03:18–10:03: Katy’s backstory, being outed, start of advocacy
• 10:28–12:11: The foundational problem—putting adults first, not children
• 12:11–14:54: Katy’s personal experience with divorce and same-sex parenting
• 15:19–19:48: Navigating family boundaries as Christian parents
• 19:48–23:00: Family response; handling worldview differences with extended family
• 24:14–29:06: Living/ministering in Seattle’s hostile culture; resilience and raising kids there
• 30:32–33:03: Legal and cultural consequences of redefining marriage; child impact
• 33:03–36:16: The theological and practical case for traditional marriage
• 37:28–44:32: Divorce—impacts, role reversal, lifelong costs for kids
• 44:32–48:04: Grief—death vs. divorce; support for parents considering divorce
• 48:04–49:10: Practical marriage advice & recommended resources

Final Thoughts

This episode delivers a robust defense of the traditional family from both a biblical and social scientific perspective, emphasizing that social policies and adult relationships profoundly affect children’s well-being. Katy Faust’s unique blend of personal experience, compassion, and fearless advocacy—mixed with Dr. Turek’s direct, reasoned questions—make for a challenging listen for anyone grappling with contemporary family issues. The message is clear: “Them”—the children—must come before “us”—the adults.

For more, visit: thembeforeus.com and look for Katy's resources and books.