338 From “Leaf in the Wind” to Coach: Sarah’s ADHD Glow-Up

Summary

Podcast Summary: "From 'Leaf in the Wind' to Coach: Sarah’s ADHD Glow-Up"

I Have ADHD Podcast, Episode 338
Host: Kristen Carder
Guest: Sarah Ashraf
Date: September 30, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this episode, host Kristen Carder is joined by her long-time client and new ADHD coach Sarah Ashraf. The conversation follows Sarah’s journey from feeling passive and lost—“like a leaf in the wind”—to finding agency, self-trust, and purpose as a coach for people with ADHD. Together, they explore emotional regulation, the power of community, overcoming internalized narratives, and the nonlinear, often uncomfortable process of deep self-development for ADHDers.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introducing Sarah: Background and Connection

• Sarah’s Growth: Kristen describes Sarah as one of her “most treasured clients,” observing her transformation through the Focused program over nearly four years.
• Sarah’s Coaching Bio: Sarah now offers 1:1 coaching for ADHDers, focusing on goal-setting, follow-through, emotional regulation, body awareness, and values alignment.
• Personal Details: Sarah is a mom of two, lives with her husband, nephew, and German shepherd; she loves murder mysteries (favorite: Knives Out).

Notable Quote:

“You have had a whole evolution… you really are an example of what is possible for those of us with ADHD.”
— Kristen (03:18)

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2. Community and Long-Term Support

• Why Stay in Focused? Sarah credits the supportive Slack community and coaching call archives for sustaining her, even when she isn’t actively coached.
• Early Signs of Coach Energy: Kristen recognized Sarah’s supportive and reflective communication in the community as a sign she would make a great coach.

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3. ADHD Diagnosis Journey

• Initial Assessment: Sarah sought an autism evaluation due to workplace struggles, only to be diagnosed with ADHD at age 33-34. She initially didn’t take major action due to her life “being fine.”
• Pandemic Impact: The shift to remote work highlighted her ADHD challenges—procrastination, trouble with virtual meetings, lack of body doubling.
• Re-engagement: A blog led her to the I Have ADHD Podcast—she joined Focused almost instantly, then pursued formal diagnosis and, eventually, medication after her pregnancy.

Notable Quote:

“This lady gets it. Like, I don’t know, whatever she’s selling, I have to buy it.”
— Sarah (10:55)

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4. Medication Experience

• Effects: Medication increases task initiation and focus but can inadvertently enable hyperfocus or focusing on nonessential tasks (“makes it easier to do the wrong things”).
• Self-Regulation Still Needed: Deciding how to direct focus remains a personal responsibility, not solved fully by medication.

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5. From Passivity to Agency—The “Leaf in the Wind” Metaphor (13:16–15:52)

• Life on Autopilot: Despite external markers of success, Sarah felt passive, lacking an active role or personal vision—“just kind of fell into” life decisions, went along with others’ plans.
• Comparison with Peers: Observed colleagues being intentional about career steps while she simply accepted what was offered or suggested.

Notable Quote:

“I wasn’t taking an active role in my life… I wasn’t listening to my emotions.”
— Sarah (14:53)

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6. Emotional Awareness and Buffering (17:28–31:09)

• Discovery of Buffering: Through Focused, Sarah learned “buffering” is anything done to avoid uncomfortable emotions—scrolling, procrastinating, over-exercising.
• Micro vs. Macro Buffering: Small-scale avoidances (phone, chores) and big ones (chronic busyness, over-committing) both serve to avoid emotional discomfort.
• Surfing Emotions: Practicing awareness of physical sensations associated with emotions, allowing feelings to surface rather than avoiding them, changed Sarah’s approach.
• From Numbness to Control: Naming and allowing emotions granted her more control and clarity to make proactive choices.

Notable Quote:

“I think our subconscious is always trying to protect us from feeling those bad feelings in our body. So, like, building up that awareness of, oh, I’m scrolling again…there’s something going on here.”
— Sarah (25:03)

• Advice for Listeners: When noticing avoidance behaviors, pause, breathe, and remind yourself you’re physically safe—sensations pass quickly if acknowledged.

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7. Building Agency, Self-Trust, and Redefining Safety (33:32–41:35)

• Pivoting Careers with Intention: Sarah left a 20-year software engineering career for coaching—a step unthinkable before. She credits learning to trust herself and challenge money/safety narratives.
• Realizing Internal vs. External Safety: Her “magic” safety number was $8 million, yet recognized true security is internal.
• Incremental Progress: Rather than demanding an exact long-term plan, Sarah now focuses on “the next thing that makes sense,” staying flexible but intentional.

Notable Quotes:

“There’s no amount of money that actually…makes me feel safe. I make myself feel safe.”
— Sarah (35:58)

“Just making one decision at a time…trusting myself that no matter what happens, we’re going to be okay.”
— Sarah (40:27)

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8. Using Coaching Tools Against Oneself (44:44–49:00)

• Toxic Productivity Trap: Sarah used self-coaching techniques to tolerate unfulfilling situations (e.g., “surfing” emotions to stay in jobs misaligned with her values), ignoring signs to make real changes.
• Distinguishing Healthy Processing from Avoidance: Not all discomfort should be “surfed”; sometimes uncomfortable feelings signal the need for external change.

Notable Quote:

“I was surfing to allow myself to tolerate an environment where maybe I wasn’t meant to be.”
— Kristen (47:20)

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9. Transformation: Internal & External Changes

• Outward vs. Inward Shifts: Externally, Sarah’s life appears similar, but she feels far more agency and self-authorship, especially in career and daily choices.
• Better Relationship with Self: Less negative self-talk, greater calm and self-kindness, and the ability to notice, name, and process her experiences.

Notable Quotes:

“It’s so funny because I think from the outside it doesn’t look that different…But I feel more in control and like I can…choose what I want to do.”
— Sarah (52:06)

“Sometimes I feel like, oh, I should be feeling more self doubt. I should be scared to do this, but I’m not. And I’m like, oh, it’s because my inner critic’s gone.”
— Sarah (57:05)

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10. Advice to Listeners: Embracing Discomfort and Growth (58:39–1:00:03)

• Do the Work: Growth is possible—but requires consistent effort, willingness to confront discomfort, and engagement with supportive tools and communities.
• Emotions are Safe: Emotions are only sensations—feeling them won’t harm you. Building this tolerance is fundamental.
• Support is Key: Focused program and 1:1 coaching are both avenues for support, particularly for those intimidated by group settings.

Notable Quote:

“It’s a lot of hard work… you have to engage with it and be willing to feel uncomfortable—a lot.”
— Sarah (58:39)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Diagnosis:
  • Kristen: “That’s so insightful.” (09:45)
• On Agency:
  • Kristen: “We have this narrative that everything’s on fire… but also it can present as just passivity and inability to really think clearly and have a map for the future.” (15:52)
• On Emotions:
  • Kristen: “The buffering is actually what keeps the emotion stuck.” (30:35)
• On Career Change:
  • Sarah: “It’s very scary to step out of [tech]… but I realized there’s no amount of money that actually… makes me feel safe.” (34:47–35:58)
• On Coaching Tools:
  • Kristen: “I’ve done this with myself in relationships… I’ll just process this emotion and not take any of the healthy steps.” (47:31)
• On Progress:
  • Sarah: “Sometimes it takes four years to do something, and then sometimes it takes two weeks.” (55:27)

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Timestamps of Major Segments

• [03:02] – Sarah’s background and introduction
• [08:27] – Sarah’s ADHD diagnosis journey
• [11:50] – Experience with ADHD medication
• [13:16] – Feeling like a “leaf in the wind”
• [17:28] – Learning about and unlearning buffering
• [24:04] – Discovering emotional surfing and awareness practices
• [33:32] – Transitioning careers, safety, and self-trust
• [44:44] – Using coaching tools to tolerate discomfort vs. using them for growth
• [51:54] – Differences since starting self-development and coaching
• [58:39] – Final advice and takeaways

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Where to Find Sarah

• Website: unblockedandaligned.com
• Twitch: unblockedandaligned (hosting body doubling/co-working sessions Tuesdays & Wednesdays)
• Socials: TikTok and Instagram—@unblockedandaligned (claims reserved; content forthcoming)

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Final Thoughts

Sarah’s story sheds light on the subtle forms of ADHD struggle that can be masked by external stability. Her evolution—from passivity to agency, from avoidance to awareness, from tech employee to ADHD coach—demonstrates the potential for internal transformation irrespective of outward circumstances. For listeners feeling “stuck,” Sarah’s practical, vulnerable sharing provides both hope and a realistic invitation: engage deeply, weather discomfort, and trust that agency grows one clear step at a time.

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For those seeking coaching (especially one-on-one): Sarah welcomes you to reach out, with information linked in the episode's show notes.

Transcript

[Kristen Carter]

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Focused is not about hustling harder. It's about creating a system that works with your ADHD brain so that you can finally get the right things done without burning out. And right now you can join focused for 50% off your first month when you use the code halfoff at checkout. Go to ihaveadhd.comfocus to take advantage of this offer. Now listen, don't wait. October is right around the corner and if you miss this time management course, you're going to miss the chance to completely change the way you spend your days. Your time is way too valuable to waste on strategies that were never designed for your brain. Go to ihaveadhd.com focused and don't forget to use the code halfoff to get 50 50% off your first month. That's ihaveadhd.com focused. I'll see you inside. Welcome to the I have ADHD podcast where it's all about education, encouragement and coaching for adults with adhd. I'm your host Kristen Carter and I have adhd. Lets chat about the frustrations, humor and challenges of adulting relationships Working and achieving with this neurodevelopmental disorder. I'll help you understand your unique brain, unlock your potential, and move from point A to point B.

Hey, what's up? This is Kristen Carter and you've tuned in to the I have ADHD podcast. I am medicated, caffeinated, regulated, and ready to roll. Today I have with me in the studio one of my most treasured clients, Sarah Ashraf. And I reached out to her so recently and was like, girl, you need to come on the podcast. And here's why she is here with us today, because Sarah has evolved before my very eyes. I have watched her have a whole evolution, and I am so excited for her to share her story with you because she really is an example of what is possible for those of us with adhd. I have massive mama bear energy, which is kind of. She doesn't know I'm going to say this massive mama bear energy around just who Sarah is, because I feel like I've watched you grow up right before me. And listen, you were a grown woman when you came into the Focus Program, but the amount of growth that you've made in the last couple years has been astronomical. And, like, you've had your babies with us. Like, I just feel like we have gotten to see this side of you that is just so special. So I'm so happy to have you here. Let me read your bio. It's beautiful. Sarah is a certified life coach offering one on one coaching for people with adhd. She helps clients with goal setting, follow through, and overcoming procrastination by working on emotional regulation, tuning into their bodies, and aligning with their core values. Delicious. She lives with her husband, two kids, their nephew and German shepherd. And in her free time, she enjoys diving into murder mysteries. And I want to hear, like, what. What is your number one go to. What is your favorite murder mystery?

[Sarah Ashraf]

Absolute favorite is Knives Out. I think I've seen it at least 15 times, and I feel like every time I watch it, I pick up on. On like some new clue or something.

[Kristen Carter]

Is it a documentary?

[Sarah Ashraf]

Like it's a movie?

[Kristen Carter]

Amazing.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yeah.

[Kristen Carter]

Knives Out. Ooh. Listen, Nasty, thank you so much for being here. And I was being very genuine when I say that just watching your growth and your evolution is so inspiring and it's been so much fun to just have a small part in that.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Um, I mean, you had a huge part in that. Like, I. I'd be the same if I. If I never joined Focused.

[Kristen Carter]

How long have you been in the program?

[Sarah Ashraf]

I think I joined in the fall of 2021. So almost four years.

[Kristen Carter]

That's not a short time. Yeah, That's a pretty long time. What's kept you in for so long?

[Sarah Ashraf]

Um, I mean, I think the community is huge. The slack community. And just, like, anytime I need to, like, bounce something off, like, people I trust or get feedback or just, like, even just share something weird that happened, like a ADHD moment, like, the. It's just, like, very welcoming, and everyone's so kind. And then I love listening to coaching calls because, like, I always, like, I don't think I even get coached that much, but, like, every time I listen, it's like, I relate so much to everyone who's getting coached, and so I feel like I get so much out of that, and it's like, I can listen in the car or when I'm walking my dog. It's like. It's so easy. Yes.

[Kristen Carter]

It's so good. We are going to talk eventually about your decision to become a coach and all of that, but I just want to say I kind of clocked you early on and was like, this girl's got coach energy. The way that you showed up in the community, the way that you would respond to people, the questions that you would ask, and I just always had this inkling, and this doesn't always happen, but I do have it about certain people, and they always do eventually become coaches. I love it so much, and I'm just so glad that you. I remember you saying, like, I think I'm gonna start transitioning into coaching. And I was like, yes, finally. So I don't ever want to pressure anyone to do that.

[Sarah Ashraf]

And.

[Kristen Carter]

And it's not for everyone, you know, and it is as you're, like, learning is just, like, nobody rolls out the red carpet for you when you become a coach. You know, like, business is not guaranteed. So, again, it's not for everyone. But I was so happy when you made that choice because, my gosh, you've been supporting the community like a coach since. Since you entered.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yeah, I just. I find it so rewarding to, like, chat with people and, like, share. Share little bits of, like, well, this worked for me. Or, like, reflecting back to them, like. Cause, like, a lot of the times, like, you just kind of word vomit in there and then, like, to have somebody read it and, like, reflect back to you, hey, this is something that stood out to me. This is what I noticed. Like, to do that for other people, like, it made me feel really good.

[Kristen Carter]

And you're really good at it. Thank you. You're really good at it. Okay, so before you found coaching, though, let's like, back way, way, way, way up. Can you ADHD journey. So what. When were you diagnosed? How did you know that, like, maybe you would want to be diagnosed?

[Sarah Ashraf]

Sure. It was actually, like, very. It's a very weird story. I was like. It was maybe like 2015, and I think adult ADHD hadn't, like, become like, a thing yet.

[Kristen Carter]

Sure. Yep, yep.

[Sarah Ashraf]

And I think autism was more like buzzy on the Internet, I guess. So I was, like, kind of struggling at work. I was, like, caught between, like, two. Two people I was working with and just. Just having a really bad time. I was, like, getting really dysregulated all the time. And so I was like, maybe I'm autistic because, like, I can't deal with, like, this social situation. So I went, I booked an assessment and I got assessed and. Sorry, I keep clearing my throat.

[Kristen Carter]

You're good. Yeah.

[Sarah Ashraf]

You're totally fine. She was like, no, I don't think you have autism. I think the people that you work with are just difficult to work with. But she was like, I do think you have adhd. And at the time, I was like, okay. I mean, my life. Other than that, my life seemed fine. So she was like, you seem like you're dealing with it okay now. She's like, when you have kids, if you have kids, you're probably gonna wanna get medicated.

[Kristen Carter]

That's so insightful.

[Sarah Ashraf]

So, yeah, so I just kind of put it in my back pocket and didn't do anything with it.

[Kristen Carter]

How old were you at this time?

[Sarah Ashraf]

I think I was 2015. Like, 33, 34. And then during the pandemic, I think I was using body doubling a lot. So when I would go into the office, everyone around me was doing work. So, like, I do work, everyone's going to the meeting. So I go to the meeting too. Like, I don't need to be reminded when I was home. Just me in front of the computer. I had so much problems with procrastination. Like, it would take me, like, two hours to get started. I would forget about meetings. I would zoom. Meetings were so hard, so hard to pay attention, so draining. And, yeah, so I remembered, oh, okay, this psychologist said, you have adhd. Let me look more into it. And I think I found a blog post. And then I was like, let me find some podcasts. And your podcast was on the list. So I subscribed to it, and I think I listened to one episode and I was like, this lady gets it. Like, I don't know, whatever she's selling, like, I have to buy it. Wow. I think I signed up after one listening to one episode. Cause I was like, this is it. Like this is what I need.

[Kristen Carter]

That's amazing.

[Sarah Ashraf]

And then after I joined the community, everyone encouraged me to get more formally diagnosed. So I went to a psychiatrist, I got diagnosed, he prescribed me medication. And then I found out I was pregnant. So like, yeah, then I. Well, I stay. I stayed in the program, I worked with coaching, but I didn't. I wasn't medicated for like three years. And then just finally recently I've been trying medication.

[Kristen Carter]

So what's that been like for you?

[Sarah Ashraf]

Um, it's been really interesting. Like I didn't quite know what to expect, but it's been good. It's definitely not like it doesn't fix everything. Like, it makes it easier to do things, it makes it easier to focus, but it also makes it easier to do the wrong things. It makes it really easy to get pulled into some hyper focus that has nothing to do with what I need to do or just.

[Kristen Carter]

It's still your responsibility to determine where do I want to channel my attention. Right. So it allows you to stay focused on one thing, but you have to decide what that one thing is. And that can be a real difficulty.

[Sarah Ashraf]

It's hard cause it's like, I think it makes doing anything feel good. So it's like, oh, it feels good to wash the dishes, it feels good to make the beds and vacuum the house. But it's like that those things need to get done. But like, I really need to work on my work right now.

[Kristen Carter]

They're not the essential things.

[Sarah Ashraf]

No.

[Kristen Carter]

Yes. You mentioned when we were chatting before that prior to introducing coaching into your life, you felt pretty passive and maybe like a leaf tossed in the wind. Can you describe that a little bit?

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yeah. I mean, it was difficult to say that I had a problem because like, my life was actually really good. Like I had a really good job, I had a good relationship, I owned a home. Like on paper nothing was wrong, but I felt like I wasn't taking an active role in my life. Like the job. Like, I just kind of fell in. The whole career I just kind of fell into. And I was like, this is fine. Like, I can do this. I mean, buying the house. Like, sure. I was like, I want this and this and this in the house. But like, it was my husband who drove it. He was the one who was like, we need to buy a car, let's go buy a car. And it's not in, like a controlling way, but just in a layer. I was like, okay, whatever. Like, this all seems fine.

[Kristen Carter]

Yeah.

[Sarah Ashraf]

And. But I just always felt like something was off. Like, I could see my peers and like, my colleagues being, like, very intentional about their careers, like switching jobs every couple years or, you know, I want to work on this project because it's going to give me these skills, which I want for this. And I was just like, I'll work on whatever you want me to work on. It's fine. And like, I could feel myself start to stagnate, I think, in my career especially.

[Kristen Carter]

How did coaching change that? How did the introduction of coaching to you change that?

[Sarah Ashraf]

I think, I mean, the reason why, looking back, the reason why I was like that is because I wasn't listening to my emotions. I wasn't like, tapping into how I really felt about anything. Like, it was like, very scary for me to feel anything. So I would just push it all down and try to ignore it and then do the right thing. Do the thing I should do. So I had like, no vision of what I wanted. Even like, you know, this, the. Let's move to this town. It's fine. Like, sure. But I didn't. Yeah, I just didn't have a vision of, like, this is my dream. Like, this would make me really happy if I did this. And I think if things have been worse for me, it would have been easier because I would have been something clearly to be unhappy about. But everything was just fine.

[Kristen Carter]

That's so fascinating because so many times when we talk about adhd, we have this narrative that, like, everything is on fire and, like, everything's going wrong and we have these huge problems to solve. And sometimes it is like that, that can be people's experience, but also it can present as just like a passivity and an inability to really think clearly and have a map for the future. Right. The ability to visualize and to envision what life could be like. And like, you're saying, you know, you would watch your colleagues have like this step by step process, and your brain just was not working in that way. So you were kind of led by, like, if a manager gave you a job, you're like, okay, fine, I'll do that. Or if your husband's like, let's move. You're like, okay, fine, we'll do that. But instead of feeling like you're really in charge and able to see clearly what you want.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yeah, exactly. And it's. Cause I couldn't. Like, I would do those exercises like, write your ideal day. Like write where you want to be in five years. And I would write it. It was like a fairy tale.

[Kristen Carter]

Like it didn't feel connected.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yeah, it didn't. It was like, is this my five year plan or is this what I think it should be? And then the steps to get there were very opaque. Yeah. So I would just like write it and then I'd be like, oh, whatever.

[Kristen Carter]

Yeah. Talk to me about the process of becoming more connected to your emotions first. When did you realize that you were avoiding your emotions?

[Sarah Ashraf]

I think it was pretty early on after I joined Focus because maybe there was one of the calls with Paula where she was talking about buffering. And I was like, yes, this is what I do. I'm avoiding my emotions.

[Kristen Carter]

Can you talk about buffering?

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yes.

[Kristen Carter]

Like, how would you describe that?

[Sarah Ashraf]

So buffering, I think, is when you do anything to distract yourself from feeling something. For me, it shows up a lot. Like scrolling on Instagram. Also like mine blends with procrastivity a lot. So, like doing the tasks that need to get done but aren't important. Like very low stakes things like washing the dishes. But yeah, it feels like a little compulsive. And there's always like the thought of like, okay, just five more minutes, ten more minutes, and then I'm going to go do the thing I'm supposed to do.

[Kristen Carter]

And it's like, that's extended.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yeah. And then like hours will go by and it's not done. And then I had this idea that like I wanted to run by you because I think there's also there that's like small buffering. I think there's also like big buffering because like at that time I would work out so much like, like hour and a half, two hours a day, to the point where it's like not productive. Like you're not getting, you're getting less fit by working out that much. And I'm thinking back was like that also buffering, like keeping me busy so I wasn't confronting those big questions, like, where do I want to go in my career or do I want to have kids? What do I want to do? Because I was exhausted all the time.

[Kristen Carter]

I think that makes sense. That just sparked in my head. Buffering on a micro level and then buffering on a macro level. What does it look like in our lives, the micros, those moments of avoidance in our phone or on the TV or like eating or drinking or something like that. Like the compulsive behavior that we take to avoid the emotions or what, what it might take to do something hard, but then on a more macro level, what might happen.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Kristen Carter]

Yeah. That's really an interesting concept. Ooh.

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What? Okay, so walk me through the process. So you hear about buffering. Yeah, Through Paula. Shout out to Paula. And then what?

[Sarah Ashraf]

I really, I mean, I bought into everything. Like, everything just resonated with me so much. So I started doing like, thought downloads and doing surfing. So, like, really getting into my body and like, trying to feel. Not even like, trying to name the emotion, but like, okay, like, I feel a little tight in my throat. That's what I feel almost all the time when I'm feeling something. It's always the same. I feel like a little tight in my throat. And just even just the awareness that because I think our subconscious will like, just totally hijack what we're doing without even realizing that's happened. Like, that still happens to me all the time where I'll be working and then like, there's not even a conscious thought and I'm like, looking at my phone.

[Kristen Carter]

Yes.

[Sarah Ashraf]

So I think our subconscious is always trying to protect us from feeling those bad feelings in our body. So, like, building up that awareness of, like, oh, I'm scrolling on Instagram again and I'm telling myself, five more minutes, five more minutes, there's something going on here. Like, and I need to stop and like, stop and just pause and try to at least, I don't know, even process, but just like, acknowledge that, like, I'm feeling an emotion.

[Kristen Carter]

Was there one specific emotion that you think was kind of like humming in the background most of the time when you're buffering or does it vary? I think it's when you started to notice a lot.

[Sarah Ashraf]

For me, I mean, I think with work, a lot of the time it was boredom.

[Kristen Carter]

Oh.

[Sarah Ashraf]

And then at that time I was having to talk to customers on the phone a lot, which, like, I was not comfortable, like, After I did it a bunch of times, I was fine. But, like, when I was first doing that, like, I felt so uncomfortable. So just like, that discomfort of I'm gonna have to call someone on the phone.

[Kristen Carter]

So many people can relate to that. So buffering, avoiding, and delaying. It becomes procrastination.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yeah, exactly. It was showing up as procrastination. And so when I was like, when, okay, I'm procrastinating now, I must be feeling something or trying to avoid feeling something.

[Kristen Carter]

Isn't that so powerful when you can notice the procrastination and be like, oh, mm, mm. Like, there's a. There's something happening inside of me? It's not like, oh, it's just adhd. Like, it's deeper than that.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Right.

[Kristen Carter]

It's deeper than that. Like, we're so disconnected from our emotions that we're not able to see that. Like, I remember the first time that I made the connection between my phone and something that I was feeling. I dropped off my big boys, had gone to school. I dropped off the little one at preschool. I came home, and I had a list, and I sat on the couch and I scrolled Instagram. And I remember finally. And this was shortly into my own personal development journey as well, finally pausing and saying, what's going on? Just asking myself, what's going on here? And I was like, oh, I'm afraid. I'm afraid. To start my list, I had to do some advertising. It was for my previous company, and. And it was like, I had to put myself out there and to make the connection in the moment on my gray couch in my old house. Like, I can see myself there just being like, oh, I'm scared.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yeah.

[Kristen Carter]

And it felt so powerful.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yeah. Like, I feel like our bodies are always trying to tell us something, but then it's like your conscious brain is like, no, this is not. Like, you shouldn't feel afraid. You should just do it. But, like, you can't. There's, like, a conflict.

[Kristen Carter]

It's not a thing. I just love reminding myself and my clients that, like, the brain doesn't differentiate between a perceived threat and an actual threat. Right. So, like, you're afraid to make that phone call. Your brain is like, okay, like, we are in danger. We need to protect ourself. We need to, like, go into the cave.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Right. And it's not totally wrong. Like, I've been screamed at over the phone. Like, I was a telemarketer when I was in high school.

[Kristen Carter]

Oh, God bless.

[Sarah Ashraf]

I've gotten reamed out over the Phone. So, like, yes, of course it makes sense. Like, I don't want to cold call people.

[Kristen Carter]

There's actual evidence that it's dangerous. Yeah. Yeah.

[Sarah Ashraf]

And it's, like, psychological danger. Like, no one was coming after me. But, like, it wasn't totally off base. But I think because it was so subconscious, I wasn't making the connection. That's why I keep looking at my phone. That's why I keep going on Wikipedia and just reading random stuff.

[Kristen Carter]

How much Wikipedia knowledge do you have in your head?

[Sarah Ashraf]

Too much.

[Kristen Carter]

I'm curious if somebody's listening and they're like, oh, my gosh, I think I do this. Or this sounds familiar. What would you say to them as, like, a first step?

[Sarah Ashraf]

I think a first step is it's difficult, but just stop and, like, breathe. Like, maybe do some breathing exercises and feel the feelings in your body, the sensations. Because emotions. It's just sensations in your body. And just remind yourself, like, I'm safe. I'm physically safe. Like, I'm safe to feel this. Like, nothing. If I allow myself to feel this sensation, nothing bad is gonna happen. No one's gonna get hurt. And then just feel it. And, you know, you let it expand, and then it'll go away. Like, it. I'm always surprised how fast things pass. Like, once you allow yourself to feel the sensation, they go very quickly. Maybe like, less than a minute. I've never, never been stuck in that feeling for very long. It just goes. It'll come back. But, like, at least you can make some progress.

[Kristen Carter]

It's like waves.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yeah, like waves.

[Kristen Carter]

It's so interesting because the buffering is actually what keeps the emotion stuck.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yes, exactly.

[Kristen Carter]

Right. And so we work so hard to avoid the emotion, but it's actually what is keeping whatever that is trapped in us. So if we'll just take that 30 to 90 seconds to just, like, okay. Like, just surrender to it.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yeah.

[Kristen Carter]

Like, okay, what? You don't even have to know what the emotion is.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Right, Exactly.

[Kristen Carter]

But just to, like, let it be in your body and process through, then you can actually make some decisions and actually be in charge. Like, do I want to go back on my phone? That could absolutely.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yeah. Sometimes. Yes.

[Kristen Carter]

Right. But then you're. You actually have the authority to say, no, actually, I want to get moving or I want to do something else. I want to go for a walk. I want to do something more productive. Oh, that's wild. Do you feel more connected to your emotions? I know the answer is yes. So, like, explain the evolution of someone who let me start again. Explain the evolution of being someone who resisted and pushed away her emotions for decades, would you say?

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yeah.

[Kristen Carter]

And then becoming someone who is more open and allowing. Are you just like crying all the time? Are you just like, are you just like zen all the time? Like, what, what is that like?

[Sarah Ashraf]

Like, I guess ironically, like I'm much more in control because I'm able to process my emotions in a way instead of just like trying to get out of the discomfort all the time, which like can look like buffering. Or like for me I'll just like run away and like leave a situation. I know for other people, like it's yelling, I'm getting really angry. It. You don't realize how out of control it is until like you really. There's like another way. Like once you learn to tolerate and like obviously it's still a work in progress, but you can make much more clear headed decisions or even like conscious decisions instead of letting your subconscious like hijack what you're doing. You can choose like how you're gonna react. And like, maybe sometimes I'm still like, yeah, I gotta go. Like I can't be here.

[Kristen Carter]

Yep.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Still have the same reaction, but at least I'm choosing it and I'm not like, ugh, I'm just, I'm gonna leave.

[Kristen Carter]

Is that just like a flight response? Yeah, like an automatic response. It's more you are again, it's like authority that you have. How else has that authority shown up in your life? So you described yourself as being someone who was more kind of like a leaf in the wind. I loved that description. Like, what, how has that changed?

[Sarah Ashraf]

I mean, I think the biggest thing is my career change. I was a software engineer for 20 years and changing to coaching, which I never would have thought, like that never would have occurred to me to do or even like, how do I do it? Like, what is, how do I do this?

[Kristen Carter]

Right. You mentioned earlier, like I could maybe see some things for my future, but I never could see the pathway. And it seems like you have just been following a very clear pathway with this career change.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yeah, I think like the summer of self trust, like learning to trust myself. And I think I was always like, what kept me kind of stuck and doing what I thought I should do. It was like, was very afraid to take any risks. Like I come from an immigrant family, so it's like money is safety and more money is more safety. So I was always really afraid to leave like these really well compensated jobs really. I don't know if it's a really lucrative Industry. But it's like a pretty solid industry, right?

[Kristen Carter]

Yeah.

[Sarah Ashraf]

It's very scary to step out of that or even take any risks because it's like you just. You need more money to be safe. And then I think from doing the money course, I realized, like, there's no amount of money that. Actually there was an amount. It was $8 million. I was like, I need to.

[Kristen Carter]

I'm sorry, that's so rude. It's like, if I could just have $8 million real quick, if I had.

[Sarah Ashraf]

$8 million in the bank, I would feel safe to do what makes me feel good.

[Kristen Carter]

Wow.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Which is. I know where that number came from. It was like, from a retirement. Like a person came to my work to talk about retirement.

[Kristen Carter]

Like a presentation.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yeah. And they gave us all these, like, calculators of like, okay, you know, figure out how much money you need. I was $8 million for some reason.

[Kristen Carter]

Like, if I could just. Real quick, pause really quick, just pause for a second here. Do you think that if you got to that 8 million mark without doing the self development work that you would feel safe?

[Sarah Ashraf]

No.

[Kristen Carter]

You wouldn't feel exactly the same. Is that wild?

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yeah. That was like such a crazy realization for me. Is that like. No, I make myself feel safe. Look, the money is just. I don't. I don't even know what it's a symbol of. It's like, it's just something to like, pin your anxiety on.

[Kristen Carter]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Because it's like, okay, if I keep chasing this number, then the anxiety is going to go away. But it doesn't, like.

[Kristen Carter]

Right. Because the hamster wheel does make us feel like we're doing something, that we're a part of something important and that we're making forward progress. But no amount of safety can come from that hamster wheel.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yeah.

[Kristen Carter]

Dang.

Everyone with ADHD knows what to do to improve their lives. You go to bed at a reasonable.

Time, you wake up early, you make.

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I have adhd.com/focused to check it out.

I just, I relate so much to having to figure out how to trust yourself even in the midst of some chaos or some uncertainty. And also realizing that, like, no matter what monetary number you get to feeling safe is still an inside job. It just, it always is going to be. And I think that you and I have an amount of privilege where we can pay our bills.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yeah.

[Kristen Carter]

Where we have a stable home. Right. Where we have husbands who are kind to us. Right. And so of course, there is a level of safety that is objective that some people have to work toward. But for I think the majority of listeners who, you know, are able to pay their bills and who are in safe enough homes, the feeling of safety, then moving forward is about the internal work of how can I make sure that I am self soothing, that I'm trusting my decisions, that I'm working to build safety on the inside and not looking to pin it on something on the outside.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Kristen Carter]

So what was the process for you being someone previously who couldn't see the path forward? Because I think this is gonna really be helpful to ADHDers who are fuzzy. You described it as being like, the future is opaque, and that's such a perfect description because I think there is a frustration and a feeling of stuckness for a lot of people in the community who are just like, okay, like, I have a job, but is this the job that I want? Like, I have a family, Is that. But like, is it, do I want more kids or do I want to move? And just making those decisions from a place of authority and agency. Tell me a little bit about that process for you.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yeah, well, I still don't have a plan. Just like making one decision At a time, like trying to do the next thing that makes sense, but trusting myself that no matter what happens, like, we're gonna be okay. Like, I've never let us down in the past. Us meaning like my family haven't let us down in the past. Like, I've always taken care of everything. If I need to go back to software engineering, I can. Like, that's always an option. But yeah, I, I mean, I still don't have a clear vision of like, I kind of know where I'd like to be in a year, but it's like now at least I can see like a couple weeks, a month in the future.

[Kristen Carter]

It's so great that you're saying this though, because I think that it is a little bit unattainable when someone comes in and they're like, I know exactly where I'm going, I know exactly what I'm doing. I have the exact plan. I'm just gonna follow the steps. And that sounds great and a lot of people want that, but I think for the average listener, it's like that's feels out of reach.

[Sarah Ashraf]

That sounds crazy to me still. Like, how do you know? Like how, how you can't know what's going to happen.

[Kristen Carter]

Yep. I love that you said, I'm just doing the next thing that makes sense. And, and I think that that could be really encouraging to the listener as well. Like, what is the next thing that makes sense? And then building your sense of safety, security and self trust around like your ability to do that. Your ability to like pivot if you need to.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yeah. And I think it's difficult to do that and not become completely reactive. Doing it still with some kind of framework and some vision of where you need to be. So that's like definitely a balance. But yeah, I think you're just trusting yourself, I guess. Even if I was just. I mean, I've had this, I've been starting this business for two months. I have just been reacting to things like I booked my first client completely out of the blue. Didn't think it was gonna happen. So like I had to scramble to like get a contract.

[Kristen Carter]

Yes.

[Sarah Ashraf]

And then like you reached out to me to do the podcast and I was like, well, now I gotta make a website. Now I gotta do all this stuff. But it's like stuff I knew I had to do.

[Kristen Carter]

You said to me, like, now I have a deadline. Yeah, it's really good for an adhder. That's perfect. It's perfect. Pressure is so helpful. I think that what you're describing is not reactive in a negative sense of like, I'm just reacting to everything that's coming my way. But what you're doing is you're navigating based on the information that you're receiving. Right. So you're like, you're making decisions and you're, you're like steering in the direction.

But you don't get to steer without that forward momentum.

Right. Like, if you're sitting in a car and it's not going anywhere, the steering wheel doesn't even turn right. And like, what you're doing is you're like moving forward and noticing where the road is going and you're just like turning in those directions. But you're doing that with forethought. You're doing that, like, intentionally.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yeah, I really like that way of that. Feels much better than just like.

[Kristen Carter]

I'm like, yeah, because I don't get that reactive energy. I know what you are saying when you say reactive, but I think it's more like you're creating the momentum. You're noticing where the path is going and you're steering in those different directions. Yeah, I like that too. I like that too. Something that I really related to when we were prepping for the interview is you saying that there was a time when you were using coaching tools against yourself. And I have done the same. I think a lot of people in self development work, as they're just getting into it, will also do the same. So tell us what you meant by that. How have you used coaching tools against yourself? What was it like to notice that? How have you navigated it?

[Sarah Ashraf]

Well, we did touch on it already. It was around money insecurity. I. I used the thought, like, I need money for my family to keep me in working situations where it wasn't, it wasn't fulfilling to me. And like, like you said, this comes from a lot of privilege. Like, it's a very privileged place to say. Like, I. Making money isn't the only thing that matters to me. Um, but I think what had happened is that I let that value, that one value, which is a good value, and it's a true thought. Like, I do need money. Like, we do have bills. Like, we need to eat.

[Kristen Carter]

Yes.

[Sarah Ashraf]

I let that one thought take over all my other values because it felt it was tied to the safety of, like, if I have $8 million, I'm gonna be safe, so let me stay. It wasn't just one job. Like, it happened for years. Whereas, like, I, you know, my. Some of my other values are like, Helping people like justice, like making the world a more just place, just improving, not making the world, like, worse.

[Kristen Carter]

Sure.

[Sarah Ashraf]

And those values, like, like, work is so important. It's what you do eight, nine hours a day at least. That's a long time to be having a thought. I need money. The emotion that comes up is acceptance. And acceptance is not like a very energizing emotion. So it was so hard to do anything.

[Kristen Carter]

Okay, so you're in a position where you're not feeling fulfilled, but then you have the thought, well, I need money. And so then you accept the position that you're in, even though it may not be your highest calling.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Right. And I. I would do a lot of surfing. Like, let me surf all these other bad feelings that are coming up, because I'm going to believe this thought, the true thought. I need money. And I'm going to make that the most important thing and I'm going to push down. And I guess the way I was using the tools against myself is I was surfing a lot of things that I had the power to change.

[Kristen Carter]

Wow. Say more about that. I think that's important.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Like, I could have gotten a different job that aligned more with my values.

[Kristen Carter]

You were surfing to allow yourself to tolerate an environment where maybe you weren't meant to be.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Kristen Carter]

Instead of, okay, I relate to this so much. So I've done this with myself in relationships a lot where I've been like, well, I have coaching tools. I can feel and process my emotions. So when I'm angry and resentful, which are actually like indicators that something is wrong. But I'm like, well, I can just surf that and process it through and move on. And then not confront the person, not ask them to change their behavior, not set a boundary. Cause I can just. I'll just process this emotion and not take any of the actually healthy steps. Right. Not because emotions are actually information. And I'm like, let me just process the information right on out of me so I don't have to do anything with it.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yeah. And it's like you get these tools, like, when you start being coached, it's like, this is so cool. Like, now I know what to do with these feelings. But if you're not careful, you can just make it another way to ignore. Because it's not just feeling a feeling. It's like your body's trying to tell you something. So it's like if you don't listen and keep not listening, then, like, you're just going to be in the same bad situation, the same Unfulfilling situation that you were in before.

[Kristen Carter]

So how did you overcome that? Because the thought, I need money for my family. That's still a fact.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yeah.

[Kristen Carter]

So how did you navigate that?

[Sarah Ashraf]

I. It was. So I left my last job, and instead of just hopping to the next thing because, like, I had been, like, doing the work for a really long time, and I was like, wait, I'm gonna do something different this time. I'm not gonna be totally reactive and, like, let this feeling of, like, I need drive my actions. Like, let me stop and have a think and really figure out, like, what I want to do. I think that was around the same time we were doing Living with Vision. So I was, like, thinking about my values, and, like, I think coaching had always been in the back of my head, because you did reach out to me at one point, and you're like, I think you should do this. And I was like, yes, I want to do it, but, like, I'm not ready right now. So I think at that point, I was like, I really like doing this. I like talking to people. And I was like, I'm just gonna do it. Like, I looked at my bank account. I was like, I think I have maybe about a year of Runway Nice. I'm just gonna do it. If it doesn't work out, like, I can always go back to software engineering.

[Kristen Carter]

Yep. To be clear, was there $8 million in your bank account?

[Sarah Ashraf]

No.

[Kristen Carter]

Just checking. Just checking. Just checking. So you went through a coach certification.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yeah.

[Kristen Carter]

That's great. What was that experience?

[Sarah Ashraf]

Like, it was really good. It was, like. It was, like, really cool because, like, I would have class at night, and, like, I would learn all these tools, and then, like, I'd listen to your coaching calls, and I was like, oh, that's what she's doing. Like, that's how she's doing that. And then so, like, having both, I think, was, like, really, really helpful because, like, I had so many. I had heard so many coaching calls, so I knew what it was like and kind of what framework.

[Kristen Carter]

Yeah.

[Sarah Ashraf]

And then, like, really, in class, I kind of practicing, like, you know, we would practice, like, little bits, like, practice, like, setting the agreement on what someone wants to be coached on, and we would just practice that. So, like, going through, practicing those pieces, understanding, like, the underlying, like, psychology behind it, how it's different from therapy. Yeah, it was really fun.

[Kristen Carter]

That's so cool. When you think about yourself now compared to who you were prior to being coached and, like, entering this, like, self development phase, I don't want to Call it a phase. It's not. That was not very nice. Self development, like, iteration of your life. What are the biggest differences, do you think?

[Sarah Ashraf]

It's like, it's so funny because I think from the outside it doesn't look that different. When I tell people like, oh, coaching changed my life. And they're like, what changed your life?

[Kristen Carter]

Looks on paper to be the same.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Almost exactly the same. It's like I. I feel like I'm an active participant now. Even I'm not like, making like wildly different decisions.

[Kristen Carter]

Right.

[Sarah Ashraf]

But I feel more in control and like I can. It's not up to the whims of other people what I'm going to do or what's going to happen to me. Like, I'm not dependent on like my manager deciding, like, I'm ready for a promotion or like they want me to work on this project. Like I'm choosing what I want to do. Like, even if I did go back to software engineering, I think I would approach it with much more intentionality of like, where I wanted to do what I wanted to work on, what I wanted my days to look like, and just like having the confidence to ask for things instead of just like, this is what we're going to give you.

[Kristen Carter]

Yep, yep. What's the experience like in your own mind? Like your relationship with yourself?

[Sarah Ashraf]

It's so different.

[Kristen Carter]

Like that's the part I think, the internal experience.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yeah. I felt like even in my own mind, I think because my subconscious was like always trying to distract me from feeling anything. Like I would, I'd be doing something and then like a memory would come up. Like there was a time I was like in a near miss of a really bad car accident. And like we were fine, everyone was fine. But like, I would play that over in my mind over and over. And like when it would come up, like I would have to stop what I was doing and like go buffer. Like I would, I'd be like in a conversation like with my husband and then I'd be like, I have to pull out my phone and like start looking at something because, like, I can't tolerate feeling this. And I mean, it still happens. Like I still have like uncomfortable thoughts, but like, I can just breathe and like I can feel the feeling. And you know, it's me making the decision of what I want to do. I'm not just like always running from something.

[Kristen Carter]

Well, that's powerful. Did you have a negative self talk and has that changed at all? That's not really something that I've heard You talk about. And I'm just curious about it.

[Sarah Ashraf]

That was really interesting when we did the Inner Critic, because I did, but it was so baked in, like, I didn't realize it was there. But then once I started, like, it was over really quick. I don't. I don't know if other people had this experience, but, like, once I, like, gave it a name and started, like, writing down the things it was saying, I was like, none of this is true. Like, and the thing I realized I was doing is I was making. I was giving my inner. How do I say this? I was making other people's thoughts my inner critic. So I would be like, this person is thinking this about me. It was like, there's no evidence that they're thinking that I'm thinking that about me. And then once I realized I was doing it, like, it just stopped. I don't know. It was kind of crazy. I think that's like, one of the cool things about coaching is, like, some. Sometimes it takes like four years to do something, and then sometimes it takes like two weeks.

[Kristen Carter]

That's incredible.

[Sarah Ashraf]

It was nuts.

[Kristen Carter]

That feels miraculous to me because, I mean, and you're absolutely right. And it's. I think it's different for all of us. Like, sometimes, you know, you work and you work and you work and you work at something to try to just change your perspective or change your self talk or whatever, but to have it just kind of dissipate because you put a name to it, you understood what was going on, you had authority over it, and then you're just like, oh, I don't. Yeah, it's like, not a thing anymore.

[Sarah Ashraf]

And I think my inner critic would say such outlandish things. It's easy to be like, okay, whatever. That's not true. That's not going to happen.

[Kristen Carter]

It's so funny. As I was coming this morning, it always feels to me like just such a rigmarole to like, get myself ready, get out the door, have all my stuff, and I pulled into the parking spot. Then you have to, like, figure out how to pay for the parking and like, what's the, you know, the park mobile number? Like, all of that. And I, like, I was in my car, I had pressed all the parking buttons and I was good. And then I was just automatically being like, you did a great job. You're here, you did it, and now you're just gonna go do a great job. And I was talking out loud to myself, and I was just like, so nice to myself. And I was like, oh, my God. And then I noticed myself being nice to myself, and I was like, look at you. You're being so nice. And just to be able to have that relationship with self where you're not just like, oh, my gosh, you're like, now you're gonna do Tara. It was just like, so. It adds such ease.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yeah. I think for me, sometimes I feel like, oh, I should be feeling more self doubt. I should be scared to do this, but I'm not. And I'm like, oh, it's because my inner critic's gone. Like, it's like, I remember putting in slack when it happened. I was like, I kind of miss it. Like, I feel like I'm all alone now. There's nobody else in my head, like, telling me what to do. It was like, it was so spooky how it just, like, it's gone.

[Kristen Carter]

That is hilarious. I think I missed that post. That is so funny. Did you replace it with a kinder voice or is it just a little bit, like, peaceful and quiet?

[Sarah Ashraf]

And it's just peaceful and quiet.

[Kristen Carter]

Wow, that's lovely.

[Sarah Ashraf]

I know. I mean, knock on wood.

[Kristen Carter]

Yeah, knock on all the wood. The. The truth is, though, like, when the critic comes back and shows up again, you know exactly what to do. You know exactly what to do. You know exactly how to handle her and. And how to talk to her to just like, okay, shush. Thank you. Are just. Yeah, that's so good. So for people listening who are like, I want what she's having. Like, I feel like, you know, so passive in my life. I don't really know how to move forward. Or maybe they feel stuck or, like, afraid to invest in themselves or afraid to, like, take an unclear next step. What would you want them to know about? Like, what's possible?

[Sarah Ashraf]

It's work. It's a lot of hard work, and. But you can do it. Like, the tools are all there. You just join focused, and everything is there for you. You just. You have to engage with it and be willing to feel uncomfortable a lot.

[Kristen Carter]

That's the part, I think that's. I honestly think that that is the biggest barrier. I know for some money is a barrier, but I think really the barrier is discomfort and knowing. Like, we talk about feeling so much on the POD and knowing, like, ugh, if I engage in that, I'm gonna have to confront some emotions.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yeah, I think it's just reminding yourself that. It's like, I think when we did the emotions course and, like, your definition of an emotion, it was like a reaction in your body. To like a person or a situation and it's just a feeling in your body. It like it can't actually hurt you. That's when I was like, okay, I can do this. Like I can sit here in my office and like take two minutes, like let me experience this uncomfortable sensation. I'm going to be fine. Like, yeah, everything's going to be fine.

[Kristen Carter]

You are such proof of that that everything is going to be fine. I just, I agree everyone should join focus, but also like, there are people that would prefer one on one and that's why I am so glad that you are a coach and I truly mean it. I'm so sincere about it because I don't work in a one on one capacity. I think some people are intimidated by a group setting. And so to have thoughtful, aligned, heart centered, really smart coaches like yourself out there, girl, I forgot that I had reached out to you and said you should be a coach, but I'm so glad I did. And that was years ago, wasn't it?

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yeah. I think it was the first time you offered coach training. Yeah, I remember. I was like, I'm not done with software engineering. I think I still have some unfinished bits business here. I guess I finished whatever business that was so great.

[Kristen Carter]

It's so great. Tell us how people can find you. So like if somebody is like, this girl got unstuck, I want her to teach me how to get unstuck. How can people find you?

[Sarah Ashraf]

So my website, it's unblocked and aligned.com I am actually on Twitch the most. I'm probably like the oldest person.

[Kristen Carter]

Wait, what is Twitch?

[Sarah Ashraf]

Twitch is like streaming for gamers, but there's also like a whole body body doub co working section. So I'm on Twitch like Tuesdays and Wednesdays most of the day. If you want a body double with me, I'm always there.

[Kristen Carter]

That's awesome. And then with just like, I'm sorry, I don't even know what Twitch is. So like how do they find you? Do they search your name?

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yeah, I'm unblocked and align on Twitch.

[Kristen Carter]

Oh, nice, nice, nice.

[Sarah Ashraf]

And on TikTok and Instagram, there's nothing there yet. But I did claim those handles before I came.

[Kristen Carter]

Unblocked and aligned.

[Sarah Ashraf]

Yeah.

[Kristen Carter]

Oh, it's so good. Okay, we're gonna link everything in the show notes. I just really hope, I know that.

Somebody cannot listen to this episode and.

Not be inspired and not at least have some hope for the future. And I am just so, so grateful to you for coming and for sharing your story and I adore you.

[Sarah Ashraf]

I'm so grateful to you for introducing me to coaching and like everything like it, nothing would be the same like if I hadn't joined.

[Kristen Carter]

Wow, that means a lot to me. I'm going to try to receive it.

Isn't it hard to receive compliments when.

You think, yeah, we're going to link everything in the show notes. And listener, I do mean it that if you feel the pull to get coached and might want to work with someone one on one, reach out to Sarah. All of her info is in the show notes and we're going to talk to you now. Next week. We'll see you then. That was a really fake smile. I don't know if he can do it again. It was really fake. Just do it again. If you want. I'll say the whole ending. And listener, if you have a poll to get coached and maybe a group setting is not the spot for you, reach out to Sarah. I know she can help you. All of her info is in the show notes and I can't wait to talk to you next week. Bye Bye.

If you're being treated for your ADHD but you still don't feel like you're reaching your potential, you've got to join Focused. It's my monthly coaching membership where I teach you how to tame your wild thoughts and create the life that you've always wanted. No matter what season of life you're in or where you are in the world, Focused is for you. All materials and call recordings are stored in the site for you to access at your convenience. Go to ihaveadhd.com focused for all the info.