Podcast Summary: I Have ADHD Podcast

Host: Kristen Carder
Episode: 353 BITESIZE | Why You Can't Start Until The Last Minute: Unlocking ADHD & Motivation
Date: November 20, 2025

Overview: Main Theme and Purpose

This Bitesize episode dives deep into the relationship between ADHD, motivation, and chronic procrastination—specifically, why so many people with ADHD can only start tasks at the very last minute. Host Kristen Carder explores the neurological factors and emotional barriers that make task initiation so tricky for ADHD brains. Through personal stories, expert references, and relatable analogies, Kristen offers listeners validation, understanding, and practical insight into the peculiarities of ADHD motivation.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Four Pillars of ADHD Motivation (01:18)

• Kristen summarizes Dr. William Dodson’s theory that four main drivers determine the performance, mood, and energy of ADHD brains:
  • Interest: Being genuinely fascinated or passionate
  • Challenge/Competitiveness
  • Novelty: Something new or different
  • Urgency: An external time pressure
• Notable Quote (Kristen, 02:00):
  "Urgency is so important, right? Like it comes from the external pressure of time. Which is often why we wait until the last minute to get something done."

2. ADHD vs. Neurotypical Motivation (03:10)

• Neurotypical people are generally motivated by the importance of a task—their nervous systems respond when something is simply valuable, necessary, or meaningful, without time stress.
• ADHDers have an interest-based nervous system: Unless a task is inherently interesting, novel, challenging, or urgent, it’s incredibly hard to start.
• Kristen’s Reflection:
  "Tasks don't have to be important right now to prompt [neurotypicals'] engagement—just important in general." (03:50)

3. Neurology of Motivation: The Role of Dopamine (04:40)

• People with ADHD have fewer dopamine receptors, reducing their brain’s natural motivation drive.

• Often, only intense stimulation or urgency provide enough dopamine activation to start tasks.

• Notable Quote (Kristen, 05:10):
  "We have fewer dopamine receptors, which means our brains are receiving less dopamine. And since dopamine drives motivation, we struggle with motivation. So this part of our brain is impaired in some ways."

4. Emotional Barriers to Task Initiation (06:22)

• Many ADHDers are held back by negative emotions rather than lack of desire:

  • Fear
  • Dread
  • Shame
  • Perfectionism

• The more someone wants to do something well, the more paralyzing starting can feel.

• Notable Quote (Kristen, 07:50):
  “I put off, avoid, and procrastinate most on the things I care deeply about because of the fear and overwhelm and perfectionism and really wanting it to be so good and not trusting myself that it will be good...I truly avoid and procrastinate the most on the things that I care about most.”

5. Cultural and Social Misunderstandings (08:50)

• ADHDers are often told their struggle to initiate means they must “not want it badly enough”—a myth Kristen passionately debunks.

• Quote (Kristen, 09:40):
  "As I have said before, actually, no, I put off, avoid, and procrastinate most on the things I care deeply about."

• She reflects on parenting her neurodivergent child differently, reinforcing love and understanding rather than shame.

6. Common Barriers to Getting Started (10:25)

• Overwhelm or anxiety (being emotionally dysregulated)

• Not connecting to the “why”/no personal significance

• Tasks feel too vague, big, or unclear (especially new, unfamiliar projects)

• Perfectionism and fear of doing it wrong

• Lack of support

• Waiting for the “perfect” moment or mood—another myth

• Relatable Anecdote (Kristen, 11:24):
  Describes her struggle to start a book proposal because the process felt “so big and vague and unclear.”

7. Motivation vs. Determination (11:40)

• Motivation is inconsistent and unreliable for ADHD brains; Kristen suggests cultivating determination instead of waiting for motivation.

• Example: Her commitment to writing a book (a long-term, low-immediacy dopamine project) vs. tending to her flower beds (instant gratification).

• Quote (Kristen, 13:00):
  "If we can, instead of motivation, if we could access determination, that will be a good enough fuel for us to get started."

• Emphasizes the importance of connecting deeply to one’s “why”—her commitment to helping the ADHD community is what propels her through difficult, delayed-reward tasks.

Most Memorable Moments & Quotes

• On How ADHD Procrastination Is Misunderstood
  "I truly avoid and procrastinate the most on the things that I care about most. And I think that that is really typical for us ADHDers. But what is so painful is that... we’re so misunderstood...there’s this attitude...‘I guess you don’t actually want it badly enough.’ And I know that’s not true." — Kristen Carder, (08:20)

• On Delayed Reward & Motivation
  "Do you know, my friend, that you won’t even be able to read the book until the fall of 2026. That means that I have to wait for dopamine so long... So the delayed dopamine really makes it super hard for me to initiate the task, because I want dopamine now." — Kristen Carder, (12:01)

• Parenting with Compassion
  "I always try to encourage him by saying, I know you really want this. I can see it. And I just wanna encourage you that, like, I know you can do it and you’ll get there eventually. And I just wonder if anybody talks to you that way, if anybody has ever parented you in that way. And if not, we missed out on a lot, you know?" — Kristen Carder, (10:00)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:18 — Introduction to the Four Pillars of ADHD Motivation (Dodson’s framework)
• 03:10 — Explaining the difference between ADHD and neurotypical motivation
• 04:40 — How dopamine affects motivation in ADHD brains
• 06:22 — Emotional reasons behind procrastination and avoidance
• 08:50 — The myth of "not wanting it badly enough" and parenting with empathy
• 10:25 — Breakdown of common barriers to task initiation
• 11:40 — Motivation vs determination; Kristen’s book project example
• 13:00 — Using a clear “why” as motivation for long-term projects

Summary Tone and Takeaways

Kristen Carder’s tone throughout the episode is compassionate, validating, and relatable. She blends neuroscience with real-life experience, creating an atmosphere of understanding and warmth. Kristen normalizes the struggles of task initiation for ADHD adults, dismantles misconceptions, and encourages self-acceptance. She leaves listeners with encouragement to focus on determination and connecting with their “why” instead of waiting around for the elusive hit of motivation.

Missed the full episode?
Kristen recommends checking out the show notes for the link to the complete version, and reminds listeners to drink water, take their meds, and treat themselves with kindness.