Podcast Summary: I Have ADHD Podcast

Episode 355 BITESIZE | What to Do When Someone Says “Everyone Has ADHD”
Host: Kristen Carder
Guest Caller: Brooklyn
Date: November 27, 2025

Episode Overview

This bitesized episode tackles a common and hurtful phrase those with ADHD often hear: “Everyone has ADHD.” Listener Brooklyn, newly on her diagnosis journey, calls in seeking advice after facing repeated dismissal and invalidation from family members. Host Kristen Carder responds with validation, compassion, and practical strategies for self-protection and moving forward.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Introduction to the Listener’s Question

• Brooklyn’s Situation (01:20–02:59)

  • Brooklyn shares that hearing “everyone has ADHD” from close family as she seeks a diagnosis feels invalidating and painful.
  • She’s trying to find language to respond and cope with people minimizing her experience.

  Memorable Quote:

  “…a common response that I get is that everybody has adhd, like it's not a big deal, like everyone deals with it or people are just not diagnosed and I just feel like people just treat ADHD like it's not a big deal...”
  — Brooklyn (02:00)

Kristen’s Response: Empathy & Validation

• Immediate Emotional Support (02:59–03:30)

  • Kristen expresses compassion and frustration on Brooklyn’s behalf, emphasizing the pain of being dismissed.
  • She highlights the vulnerability involved in sharing personal struggles and the inappropriateness of others minimizing them.

  Notable Quote:

  “That’s not what you deserve to hear…when you’re sharing something so personal, so vulnerable with the people that are closest to you.”
  — Kristen (03:08)

• Commonality of the Issue

  • This kind of dismissal is frequent among ADHDers.
  • Kristen affirms listeners’ excitement and relief in discovering ADHD is not laziness or a character flaw, only to have that shut down by others.

  Quote:

  “It’s such an eye-opening, life-changing time for you. And then to be met with such dismissal, to be met with such a demeaning like, ‘Oh, well, everybody struggles with that. Like, everybody has ADHD. What's the big deal?’ That’s so hurtful.”
  — Kristen (03:40)

Why the Dismissal Happens

• Familial Patterns and Heritability (04:25–05:23)

  • ADHD travels in families; dismissal may reflect unrecognized ADHD in relatives.
  • Validating your struggles would require them to confront their own.
  • Kristen explains:

    “A parent who dismisses their own struggles will always dismiss their child's struggles. It’s just the way…that’s just, this is the way that it works.”
    — Kristen (05:23)

• Self-Protection Recommendations

  • Be cautious about vulnerability with those who cannot reciprocate support.
  • Seek out safer, more validating spaces for sharing (suggests her FOCUSED program but clarifies this is not a sales pitch).
  • Empowerment: Don’t let others’ inability to validate make you question your own experience.

  Quote:

  “What I am saying is notice that they are incapable of validating you, but don’t let that make you invalidate yourself.”
  — Kristen (06:23)

Practical Takeaways

• Expressing Anger is Appropriate

  • Kristen emphasizes it’s okay to be angry about invalidation:

    “The appropriate response…when someone dismisses that and says, ‘That’s stupid, everybody has ADHD. What’s your problem?’ We should be angry about [it]. We deserve to be angry about that…that is so inappropriate.”
    — Kristen (03:55)

• Advice on Moving Forward (06:55–08:00)

  • Share vulnerability only with supportive, “safe” people.
  • Continue seeking diagnosis and self-understanding.
  • Don’t disconnect or confront family aggressively, but preserve self-worth and boundaries.
  • Find community with others who “get it,” whether in official support groups or understanding friends.

  Quote:

  “Be a little more self protective and only share these vulnerable things with safe people and continue on your diagnosis journey.”
  — Kristen (07:36)

• Support & Encouragement

  • Kristen closes with hope:

    “I’m so proud of you. I’m excited for you. I’m so hopeful for your future…pursuing a deeper knowledge of yourself—it’s beautiful. It’s so good.”
    — Kristen (07:48)

Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• Brooklyn:

  “…people just treat ADHD like it’s not a big deal…But I just don’t know how to respond to that, you know, people watering it down and treating it like it’s a normal thing.”
  (02:20)

• Kristen:

  “You should be mad at them. Be angry that they're responding in this way…that is so inappropriate.”
  (03:55)

• Kristen:

  “If you’re talking to family members, it is so highly likely that you are talking to people with undiagnosed ADHD.”
  (05:00)

• Kristen:

  “…notice they are incapable of validating you, but don’t let that make you invalidate yourself.”
  (06:20)

Important Segment Timestamps

• [01:20] Brooklyn shares her story and asks for advice
• [02:59] Kristen responds with empathy and addresses the reality of dismissal
• [04:25] Explanation of ADHD’s heritability and why family may deny or minimize
• [06:23] Guidance on self-protection and what to do next
• [07:36] Final advice and encouragement to Brooklyn and listeners

Tone

Kristen combines warmth and fierce advocacy, supporting listeners through validating their feelings and giving permission to set boundaries. Her approach is conversational, caring, and empowering.

Conclusion

This episode validates the pain of being dismissed when disclosing an ADHD diagnosis and provides practical advice for protecting one’s emotional wellbeing. Kristen encourages listeners to seek supportive communities and reiterates that vulnerability deserves respect, not minimization.