357 BITESIZE | Your Brain Is Too Loud—This Trick Turns the Volume Down

Summary

Podcast Summary: I Have ADHD Podcast

Episode 357 BITESIZE | Your Brain Is Too Loud—This Trick Turns the Volume Down
Host: Kristen Carder
Date: December 4, 2025

---

Episode Overview

In this bite-sized episode, host Kristen Carder shares a powerful, practical technique—thought downloading—to help adults with ADHD quiet their “loud” brains and gain insight into their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Kristen demystifies the process, emphasizing its simplicity and effectiveness for fostering metacognition and emotional regulation. She speaks candidly about her personal experience with thought downloads and offers step-by-step guidance for listeners eager to implement this practice.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Power of Thought Downloads

• Mindfulness for ADHD Brains:
  Kristen introduces thought downloading as an “incredibly simple mindfulness tool…that will absolutely 100%, if you do it enough, if you are persistent, it will improve your metacognition. It will improve your verbal working memory.” (02:48)

• Not About Perfection, But Understanding:
  The goal isn’t to “fix” or change your thoughts, but to increase self-awareness:

  “Right now, all we care about is understanding… The whole purpose of thought downloads is to answer that question. Why?” (03:55)

• Breaking ADHD Frustrations:
  Kristen acknowledges a core ADHD struggle: knowing what to do but feeling unable to do it.

  “ADHD is not a disorder of not knowing what to do. It’s a disorder of knowing exactly what to do, but not being able to get yourself to do do it. That’s why ADHD is so frustrating.” (05:23)

The Process of Thought Downloading

• No Rigid Rules:
  No need for special journals or routines. Kristen reassures, “It can be on the back of an envelope… Just grab any paper available to you. You’re not going to save it. We’re not going to be precious about it.” (09:11)

• When to Do It:

  • No need to commit daily; do it “a couple times a week… when you remember.”
  • Helpful after emotionally intense moments or before bed:

    “When I was really trying to grow… I was thought downloading most nights before bed. And it was so helpful.” (09:49)

The Impact: Why This Trick Works

• Revealing Hidden Patterns:
  Often, lying in bed is the first quiet moment people have to check in with themselves, leading to racing thoughts and overwhelm:

  “Laying in bed in the quiet stillness was the first time all day long that I checked in with myself… and then all the thoughts would race and race and race and then all of the feelings would come up and I would just be flooded and overwhelmed and dysregulated.” (10:15)

• Breaking the Cycle:
  Thought downloading allows for incremental emotional processing throughout the day, reducing the intensity at night.

Interrupting Avoidance and Building Metacognition

• Facing the Unknown:
  Many ADHDers avoid introspection out of fear, but as Kristen reminds listeners:

  “It’s driving the bus anyway. It’s shaping your life anyway… You might as well know what it is.” (16:45)

• Developing New Habits:
  “This is something, this is part of the developmental process that we, most of us ADHDers, we missed. We missed it. We got to learn it as adults and that sucks. But that’s our responsibility now.” (15:24)

---

How-To: Getting Started With Thought Downloads

1. Set a Timer:
   Start with just five minutes if you feel overwhelmed or short on time. (13:17)
2. Pick a Prompt:
   Kristen offers sample prompts:
   • Why am I stuck?
   • Why do I feel angry?
   • Why don’t I want to do this?
   • Why am I overwhelmed?
     (13:49)
3. Stream of Consciousness:
   Write everything your brain offers, no filter, no judgment. Keep asking, “What else?”
4. Observe & Notice:
   After writing, skim over the list and notice patterns, feelings, and recurring themes.

---

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On the Simplicity of the Process:

  “Make it ugly and just know that you’re going to burn it or throw it out, okay?” (09:18)

• On Emotional Avoidance:

  “I don’t really want to look under the hood because I’m not sure what’s going to be there and I’m kind of scared. I don’t know what’s, I don’t, I don’t, I don’t know what’s going to be there.” (16:17)

• On Why This Tool Matters:

  “No wonder why you’re struggling. Notice all of the people that you’re trying to please, notice how your relationships are feeling… this is observing your thinking, being able to think about your thinking.” (14:38)

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [02:48] — What is a thought download? Benefits and definition
• [03:55] — Understanding the “why” behind actions & feelings
• [05:23] — The core frustration of ADHD
• [09:11] — Practical tips: When and how to do a thought download
• [10:15] — How unprocessed thoughts lead to overwhelm, especially at night
• [13:49] — How to get started: timer, prompts, and what to write
• [14:38] — Observing your thoughts and feelings
• [16:17] — Addressing the fear of introspection
• [16:45] — Encouragement: “It’s driving the bus anyway…you might as well know”

---

Tone & Approach

Kristen’s style is warm, humorous, and relatable. She uses informal language (“hot mess express,” “just make it ugly”) and frequently checks in with listeners’ likely emotions and experiences. Her candor and self-deprecating charm make the episode feel like advice from a trusted friend.

---

Takeaway for Listeners

Thought downloading isn’t about daily perfection, but about building a new habit of self-awareness. Even once or twice a week can help turn down the “volume” on ADHD overwhelm by making room for clarity and intentionality. As Kristen says, you don’t have to be afraid of what you’ll find—it’s shaping your life already.

---

Transcript

[Kristen Carter]

This episode is sponsored by Cure Hydration. All right, I'm going to be real with you. Drinking water is boring. My ADHD brain is like, wait, we have to do this again? Like every day, multiple times. What in the world? And because I'm running from meetings to coaching calls to kid chaos, staying hydrated is not something I'm naturally good at. It's not something I naturally think about. That's why I've been obsessed with Cure hydration packs lately. Cure is a plant based hydrating electrolyte mix with no added sugar, only 25 calories, and it actually tastes good. The watermelon and berry pomegranate have been on repeat for me. I'm actually like really running low on those flavors, which is so sad. They're refreshing without being too sweet or artificial. It feels like my water finally has a little bit of personality, which I enjoy. I really do. What I love most is that CURE uses a science backed formula that hydrates as effectively as an IV drip. So when I'm scrambling through my day forgetting my water again, Cure helps me to catch up fast. I throw a few packs in my bag and it makes drinking enough water simple. Which for my ADHD brain is basically a miracle. So staying hydrated isn't just about water. You also need electrolytes. And that's why I love Cure. It's clean, tastes great and it actually works. And bonus, Cure is FSA HSA approved so you can use those funds to stay hydrated. The smart way for I have ADHD podcast listeners. You can get 20% off your first [e-mail] ihaveadhd with the code ihaveadhd and if you get a post purchase survey make sure to tell them that you heard about Cure right here on the podcast. It really does help to support the show. Don't just drink more water, also upgrade it with Cure.

[Sleep Number Advertiser]

Why choose a Sleep Number Smart bed?

[Kristen Carter]

Can I make my site softer?

[Sleep Number Advertiser]

Can I make my site firmer? Can we sleep cooler? Sleep Number does that cools up to eight times faster and lets you choose your ideal comfort on either side. Your sleep number setting J.D. power ranks sleep number one in customer satisfaction with mattresses purchased in store and online. And now all mattresses are on sale plus free home delivery during our Cyber Week sale. Limited time for J.D. power 2025 award information, visit jdpower.com awards. Check it out at a Sleep Number store or sleepnumber do foreign.

[Kristen Carter]

Hey what's up? This is Kristen Carter and you are listening to a bite sized episode of the I have ADHD Podcast. I am medicated, caffeinated, regulated and ready to roll. This little episode is one of my favorite clips from the podcast.

It's perfect if you're not in the mood for a full hour long listen. Because let's be real, some of us.

ADHD ers just don't have the patience for for all of that. But if you are a die hard listener, think of this as your midweek pick me up. It's Thursday, y'. All. Friday is right around the corner. If you love this clip, check out the show notes for a link to the full episode. And remember, my friend, drink your water.

Take your meds, grab a snack.

Now let's get rolling.

Okay, so a thought download is a really simple mindfulness tool that will improve your metacognition. All right? It's just. That is what it is. It's a simple mindfulness tool that will absolutely 100% if you do it enough, if you are persistent, it will improve your metacognition. It will improve your verbal working memory. Okay, what it's going to do when you download your thoughts on a I would love to say daily basis, but I'm not going to commit any ADHD or to do anything daily. Like we don't even eat on the daily. I'm not going to expect you to thought download on the daily. But if you do it a couple times a week, if you're just kind of persistent and when you remember to do it, you do do it, it will help you to know what you're thinking, to observe your thoughts without judgment. It will help you to understand.

The source of your emotions. It will help you to understand why you're deciding to do things a certain way. It'll help you to understand why you're going in a certain direction. And let me be very clear. This is not about fixing your thoughts. This is about. It's not about changing your thoughts necessarily. Right now, all we care about is understanding. Because what I hear from y' all and it makes no sense for, for someone from Pennsylvania to use the word y', all, but I'm still using it. What I hear from y' all is I don't know why I'm stuck. I don't know why I'm procrastinating. I don't know why I can't just do it. I don't know why. You fill in the blank. Listener. My dear, sweet listener. You fill in the blank. What is it for you that you say, I don't know why. Whatever. And the whole purpose of thought downloads is to answer that question. Why? Why am I doing this? Why am I moving in this direction? Why can't I just do this? It's thought downloading is answering questions that your brain is continually asking. And let me tell you, it is so powerful. It's so powerful. One of the things that I tell my clients, if you don't know if you're new around here, I'm a coach. I have multiple certifications and I have a group coaching program called Focused. And we have people from all over the world, people diagnosed with ADHD or self diagnosed with adhd. It's an incredibly transformative program. Everyone with ADHD knows what to do to improve their lives. You go to bed at a reasonable time and you wake up early, make a list, cross the things off the list in order, manage your time well, yeah, we know what to do, but ADHD is not a disorder of not knowing what to do. It's a disorder of knowing exactly what to do, but not being able to get yourself to do do it. That's why ADHD is so frustrating. We're smart and we want to succeed, but we can't get ourselves to do the things that we know we should do in order to make improvements. That's why I created Focused. I'm a life coach with multiple certifications, and since 2019, I've spent thousands of hours coaching adults with ADHD. Time for me to focus on you.

Hello.

Welcome to your coaching call. I am going to be coaching you today on relationships. I know what it takes to help an adult with ADHD go from hot mess express to grounded and thriving. Focused is my monthly coaching membership where we go deep and we get to the root cause of what holds us back with adhd. I'll teach you how to understand your ADHD brain, regulate your emotions, and accept your yourself flaws and all. With this foundation, we build the skills to improve life with adhd. And not only do you get skills and tools in focus, but you're surrounded by a huge community of adults with ADHD who are also doing the work of self development right alongside of you. Dr. Ned Hallowell says healing happens in community. And I have absolutely found this to be true. As a matter of fact, let's listen to what actual Focused members have to say about being in this program.

[Focused Program Member]

What can I say about Focused?

[Kristen Carter]

Full community of people who have issues similar to you and who will judge you.

[Focused Program Member]

Focused has really supported me with my difficulties in asking for help. I've been encouraged and cheered on by the Community. I really like that you can do as much or as little as you want. It's not just about the volume of the content, it's about the quality. Focused has helped me understand ADHD better.

[Kristen Carter]

I would recommend this to anyone.

I would thoroughly recommend Focused.

[Focused Program Member]

I can confidently say that this is one of the best decisions that I have made for myself.

[Kristen Carter]

So if you're an adult with ADHD.

Who wants to figure out how to.

Be motivated from the inside out and make real, lasting changes in your life, join hundreds of others from around the world in Focused. Click the link in the episode description to check it out. One of the things that I tell my clients constantly is don't let your brain ask a question that you are not willing to answer. So if you say, I don't know why I'm stuck, it's important that you answer that question. Wait a second. No, let's stop here. Why are you stuck? Let's write that. Let's do a thought down. Let's write that on the top of the page. Why am I stuck? And we're going to ask our brain to answer that question. And you're just going to stream of consciousness, right? This is exactly how to do a thought download. You can do it any time of day. It does not matter when, okay? The time to do it is just when you're willing to do it. So it doesn't have to be perfect, it doesn't have to look pretty. It doesn't have to be in a certain spot. It doesn't have to be in a certain journal. It can be on the back of an envelope. Just grab any paper available to you. You're not going to save it. We're not going to be precious about it. We're not going to like, bind it into a journal and like press flowers and make, make like, what is it? Macrame shellac? What are the crafting tools that we use? I have no idea. I'm not a crafter, never have been. But we're not going to make it pretty, is what I'm saying. Make it ugly and just know that you're going to burn it or throw it out. Okay? So do it when you. Whenever you're willing to do it, whenever you can get yourself to do it. First thing in the morning, during emotional dysregulation after a conflict, before bed, when I was really trying to grow, when I was really determined to change my life, I was thought downloading most nights before bed. And it was so helpful. I didn't realize this is a tangent or this is like a rabbit hole. But I didn't realize that. One of the reasons why I struggled to sleep was because.

Laying in bed in the quiet stillness was the first time all day long that I checked in with myself. The first time all day long that I could feel my emotions. The first time all day long that I was actually present with me. And so then I would have like this 3 hour period from like 12 when I went to bed till 3am when I was just like being with me and like ruminating on all of the things that I hadn't processed throughout the day. And what thought downloading does is allows you to take time to process, maybe in smaller bites, so that you're not overwhelmed by it at any given time. For me it was like when I turned out the lights. For you, it might be a different time of day, but for me it was that time when I was just like, finally everything was quiet. Finally I was still. There was nowhere that I could go. I was in my bed. And then all the thoughts would just race and race and race and then all of the feelings would come up and I would just be flooded and overwhelmed and dysregulated and I would go into like this fight or flight kind of like panic attack because I didn't. I just wasn't processing anything throughout the day because I wasn't aware of my thoughts, because I didn't have.

Functioning verbal working memory because metacognition was a skill that was really, really deficient for me. Okay, so are you seeing where I'm going with this? It's allowing us to get tuned in to who we are, to what we want, to where we're going, to what we think, to what we feel at different points throughout the day. There were times where I was doing this many times a day I actually did.

When I got really into it. And this is just, it's not a.

How do I say this? It's not a consistent part of my life anymore at all. But it was for a season. And I just want to offer that to you that you don't have to think like, oh, great, now I have to do this for the rest of my life. Maybe it's a skill that will be a available to you for the rest of your life. But if you want to go through a season of growth, this is the way to do it. Okay, this is the way to do it. And when I was in that season of growth, I would order on Amazon these notebooks, like grid notebooks, and I still have all of them. I should go through them, but I think that would be a little bit scary. Just so many thought downloads. I just needed a place to put them. And I would just process and process and process and process so many thoughts. And keep in mind, this is. This coincided with me going to therapy. This coincided with me changing all of my relationships. This coincided with me completely revamping my familial relationships. And so, like, there was a lot going on for me, but if there's a lot going on for you, this is the way to process it. Okay, so here's how to start. If you want. If you feel like you're afraid that you're gonna get stuck or you're afraid that you're gonna get overwhelmed, or you're afraid that you're just gonna, like, take too much time or you don't have much time, just set a timer for yourself. Just be like, okay, I'm just gonna give five minutes. Just give it five minutes. And then choose a prompt, which I will. I'm gonna give you lots of.

Prompt options. Okay, so just choose a prompt. So you set a timer for five minutes. Choose. Choose a prompt, and then answer the prompts question. Write down every sentence that your brain gives you, and just ask yourself, what else? What else? What else do you got? Why else? So a common prompt that I would give myself is like, why do I feel angry? Because I. At the time. And maybe you relate to this. At the time, I had no ability to connect my thoughts and my emotions. They were connected. My thoughts were creating emotions and driving actions, but I personally did not know how to connect them. I did not understand the connection between what I was feeling and what I was thinking. And so this is how. This is one of the main ways and a completely free way that I developed it. This is without the help of a therapist, without the help of a coach. So I would write down, what? Why am I feeling? Blah. Why do I hate my kid? Why? I would just. I would ask my brain a question, why am I angry? Why don't I want to do this? Why do I feel stuck? And then I would just answer it. I would answer the question, why am I overwhelmed? And the stuff that would come out of my brain. I was like, oh, my gosh, honey, no wonder why you're struggling. And this is what I want for you. I want you to be able to kind of just skim over what you wrote and notice. Notice everything that you're carrying. Notice everything that's going on in your brain. No wonder why you're struggling. Notice all of the people that you're trying to please notice how your relationships are feeling. Notice. Just like begin to notice again, I'm going to say the word metacognition. It's observing your thinking, being able to think about your thinking. This is something, this is part of the developmental process that we, Most of us ADHDers, we missed. We missed it. We got to learn it as adults and that sucks. But that's our responsibility now. Now you've heard this, so it's your responsibility, right? So now you know, you know better, so you're going to do better. So it might feel awkward. You might be worried about what will come up. And I will say that's a very normal experience for an ADHDer. I don't really want to look under the hood because I'm not sure what's going to be there and I'm kind of scared. I don't know what's, I don't, I don't, I don't know what's going to be there. And what I want to encourage you with is.

That'S, it's driving the bus anyway. It's shaping your life anyway. It's causing you to feel something or do something anyway. You might as well know what it is.

Thanks for listening to this bite sized episode of the I have ADHD Podcast. If you enjoyed this clip, you'll find a link to the full episode in the show notes. And don't Forget to visit ihaveadhd.com for tons of adult ADHD support. All right, my friends, I had a great time with you today and I cannot wait to talk to you again next week.

Bye.

Bye.