367 BITESIZE | The Exact Executive Functions Behind ADHD Time Blindness

Summary

Podcast Summary: "The Exact Executive Functions Behind ADHD Time Blindness"

Podcast: I Have ADHD Podcast
Host: Kristen Carder
Episode: 367 BITESIZE
Release Date: January 8, 2026

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Overview

In this concise, insightful "bitesize" episode, coach and ADHD expert Kristen Carder dives into the exact executive functions that underlie "time blindness"—the unique time-management struggles experienced by adults with ADHD. Drawing on her coaching expertise and relatable anecdotes, Kristen unpacks why organizing, planning, and simply keeping track of time present such persistent challenges, and why these issues are rooted in neurological differences, not character flaws. The tone is warm, direct, and validating, emphasizing self-compassion and practical understanding.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Working Memory and Time Management

• Verbal Working Memory:
  • The "mind's voice" that keeps individuals on track internally.
  • ADHDers often experience extremes: a constant, overwhelming internal monologue, or complete silence.
  • Kristen shares:

    "For me, I don't have the mind's voice. I've tried to develop it over time, but... I'm talking to myself out loud because I don't have the inner monologue." (05:37)

• Nonverbal Working Memory:
  • The "mind's eye" enables visualization of steps and finished tasks.
  • ADHDers often struggle here, making it hard to conceptualize and predict time accurately.

  • "This is why it's hard to understand how, like, five minutes can feel like 17 hours, and 17 hours...can feel like five minutes. It's like, it makes no sense." (07:10)

2. Organization, Planning, and Prioritization

• This critical cluster of executive functions is often deficient in ADHD, compounding time management struggles.

• "So much of our executive function impacting time management is this cluster set of skills...it's kind of like a clusterfuck, like not an actual great cluster." (08:08)

• ADHD brains easily become overwhelmed by multi-step tasks, making it hard to even start.

3. Inhibition and Impulsivity

• The skill of "delaying short-term pleasure in exchange for long-term reward" (following Dr. Barkley's framework).
• Electing to resist distractions is directly tied to inhibition capacity.

• "This is one of the main reasons why we're hopping from task to task...because we jump into a task and then it's not fun and we're like, screw this, this is not fun." (10:04)

4. Self-Motivation and Dopamine

• Motivation issues in ADHD are rooted in neurobiology—specifically, a dopamine deficit and fewer dopamine receptors.

• "The dopamine that a neurotypical will experience doing...mundane tasks is not something that we get to enjoy...our reward system is broken." (11:01)

• Medication can help for many, but day-to-day self-motivation remains a major challenge.

5. Emotional Regulation

• Emotional dysregulation is often the root of apparent "time management" issues.

• "Most of the time, we don't have necessarily a time management issue. We have an emotional...management issue. I'm just going to go ahead and say that." (13:54)

• For example, people-pleasing (saying "yes" out of fear of letting people down) derails time plans, but is an emotional—not purely organizational—problem.

• "A lot of our time management struggles are actually emotional regulation struggles." (14:50)

6. Self-Reflection

• Difficulty learning from past mistakes and adjusting behavior is another key executive function deficit.

• "It's really hard for us ADHDers to see when we're living in fantasy...We don't see these fantasies. It's hard to correct our mistakes. So we make the same mistakes over and over." (16:53)

7. Compassion and Self-Acceptance

• Kristen repeatedly emphasizes that these struggles are not moral failings or evidence of laziness—they are neurological facts.

• "It is harder for you. It's harder for you. And I want that to not make you feel badly about yourself. I actually want that to spur you to feeling compassion for yourself." (18:34)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On visualization challenges:

  "We struggle to conceptualize time...we don't even realize or conceptualize the passage of time." (06:32)

• On emotional regulation and time choices:

  "If we can get a handle on our emotions, then we can make better executive decisions around our time." (14:09)

• On self-reflection and patterns:

  "It's because your executive functions are deficient. And one of those...is your ability to self reflect, to look at what you've done and say, okay, this worked well, but this didn't work." (16:36)

• On asking for help:

  "I still have to lean on my neurotypical team or my neurotypical spouse or my neurotypical BFF to say, like, do I actually have time for this? Is this going to be too much for me?" (19:46)

• On self-acceptance being the start of change:

  "Accepting that it's hard...is actually the pathway to making amazing changes." (20:46)

• Closing encouragement:

  "Take a deep breath. Like, how does it feel for you for me to say this is actually harder for you? It should be hard." (20:06)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• [04:55] — Introduction to time blindness and executive functions
• [05:37] — Working memory: verbal (mind's voice) and nonverbal (mind's eye)
• [08:08] — Organization, planning, and prioritization deficits
• [10:04] — Inhibition and impulsivity in time management
• [11:01] — Self-motivation, dopamine, and nonpreferred tasks
• [13:54] — Emotional regulation as the heart of time management struggles
• [16:36] — Self-reflection and learning from experience
• [18:34] — Compassion and acceptance: reframing ADHD struggles
• [19:46] — Illustrations of needing external help for “time math”
• [20:46] — Accepting difficulty as the first step to real change

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Conclusion

Kristen Carder’s episode delivers a high-impact, empathy-rich framework for understanding the exact skills that fuel or foil time management in ADHD. By naming and normalizing the real brain-based obstacles, she encourages listeners to move past shame and self-blame so they can start making real, compassionate progress.

For further support, listeners are encouraged to check the show notes for resources and the full episode, and visit ihaveadhd.com.

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Transcript

[Kristen Carter]

If rejection hits you harder than it should, if your body reacts before your brain can catch up, if a delayed text, a neutral comment, or a surprise meeting invite can send you into a spiral, I'm teaching a class this week that is 100% for you. For a lot of adults with ADHD, rejection sensitivity isn't just an emotional experience. It's a whole body nervous system experience. Your heart races, your chest tightens, your brain starts scanning for danger and you spiral. And here's the part that most people miss. Your body reacts the same way to real rejection and imagined rejection. So even when nothing is actually technically, factually wrong, your nervous system doesn't know that it still freaks out and creates a rejection story that hijacks your entire day. That's what we're unpacking in my live masterclass this week. Rejection sensitivity 101. Understanding it, soothing it, Healing it. It's happening this Thursday, January 8th at 12pm Eastern. Go to ihaveadhd.com rejection to sign up. Inside this training, I'll teach you how to tell the difference between real rejection and rejection stories that one distinction alone can interrupt. Spirals cause, calm your body and help you to respond from groundedness instead of fear. We'll cover why rejection sensitivity shows up so strongly in adults with adhd. What's actually happening in your brain and body when it does? The tools I personally use to regulate my own rejection spirals and what healing actually looks like. Not masking, not toughening up, but actually feeling safe in your own body. Imagine keeping your ADHD brain, your intensity, your creativity, your humor, your heart without the constant hum of did I mess up or am I in trouble? This is not a fantasy. This is actually possible and you don't have to figure it out alone. Join me live on Thursday, January 8th at 12pm Eastern for Rejection Sensitivity 101. You can sign up right [e-mail] Rejection and if you sign up, I will definitely send you a replay just in case you're not able to join me live. I really can't wait to teach this. I know that it's going to be so impactful and I really hope to see you there. That's ihaveadhd.com Rejection.

[Sponsor/Ad Host]

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[Podcast Guest/ADHD Coach]

I made this.

[Sponsor/Ad Host]

And the best part, I'm cooking at home more. I'm stressing less about food and eating out and all the money wasted when I doordash and I'm eating better than I have in a long time. It feels like hitting reset without trying to become a whole new person, which is amazing. This new year, Fast track your way to eating well with Marley Spoon. Head to Marley spoon.com offer I have ADHD for up to 25 free meals. That's Marley spoon.com offer I HAVE ADHD for up to 25 free meals. Marley Spoon meals reimagined for real life.

[Kristen Carter]

Hey, what's up? This is Kristen Carter and you are listening to a bite sized episode of the I have ADHD podcast. I am medicated, caffeinated, regulated and ready to roll. This little episode is one of my favorite clips from from the podcast. It's perfect. If you're not in the mood for a full hour long listen because let's.

[Podcast Guest/ADHD Coach]

Be real, some of us ADHD just.

[Kristen Carter]

Don'T have the patience for all of that.

[Sponsor/Ad Host]

But if you are a die hard.

[Kristen Carter]

Listener, think of this as your midweek pick me up.

[Podcast Guest/ADHD Coach]

It's Thursday, y'.

[Kristen Carter]

All. Friday is right around the corner. If you love this clip, check out the show notes for a link to the full episode. And remember, my friend, drink your water.

[Podcast Guest/ADHD Coach]

Take your meds, grab a snack.

[Kristen Carter]

Now let's get rolling.

[Podcast Guest/ADHD Coach]

Okay, let's talk about time management. Let's talk about the executive functions that impact your ability or inability to manage time. Now, we already talked about working memory when I was responding to Alex's voicemail, but I'll go into it here. Okay. So working memory is extremely important when it comes to time management. So verbal working memory is the mind's voice, which keeps you on track and focused. It's your inner monologue. A lot of us adhders are on either one end of an extreme or another. Either we have a really loud, chattery inner monologue that won't shut up. And so it's really disorienting because it's just, like, yapping at us all day long, or we don't hear anything. We've got nothing. And I'm curious, like, take a moment to reflect. Is your inner monologue yapping at you all day long, or do you literally not have anything in your mind like that mind's voice? For me, I don't have the mind's voice. I've tried to develop it over time, but most of the time, when I need to keep myself on track, I'm talking to myself out loud because I don't have the inner monologue. So I just talk to myself out loud. Okay, Kristen, we're doing good. Keep going. This is what we're doing. Don't forget. This is important. Keep going. Okay. Then there's nonverbal working memory, which is the mind's eye. This is different from a photographic memory. It allows you to imagine the finished product. So it's not necessarily a memory of something that you've read or seen, which is the photographic memory that Alex was talking about. Right. But this is allowing yourself to imagine the steps that you need to take to get the job done. Imagining the finished product and visualizing, like, the roadmap in your head to get there. Okay. So that's where. That's where a lot of us are weak. And this is where we struggle to conceptualize time. This is what I mean when we're like, when I said earlier, like, we don't even realize or conceptualize the passage of time. Okay. And so this is why it's hard to understand how, like, five minutes can feel like 17 hours, and 17 hours sometimes can feel like five minutes. It's like, it makes no sense. Okay. And it also makes it really hard for us to predict how long something's going to take. Oh, that'll just take five minutes. Seven hours later, we're like, I'm past the deadline, and now I'm in trouble. Okay. So that is working memory. There's a skill set of organization, planning and prioritization. And that cluster of skills is an executive function that. It's so frustrating that this is one of the main things that we struggle with because this allows us to prioritize and sequence and plan out. Okay, here's what I need to do next. Here's what needs to happen first when you think about time management. So much of our executive function impacting time management is this cluster set of skills. I mean, it's kind of like a clusterfuck, like not an actual great cluster.

[Kristen Carter]

Do you know what I'm saying?

[Podcast Guest/ADHD Coach]

Organization, prioritization, planning. So much of time management is wrapped up in that. And since it's deficient, it makes it so difficult. Where do I start? What, like I have a hundred things to do today, where do I even start? And so our brains will often just resist the, the mountain of things that we need to do because it just feels way too overwhelming to organize, prioritize and plan. Okay. Whew, that's a big one. Inhibition. This is where impulsivity comes in. When you think about time management and inhibition. Inhibition is the skill that allows you to delay short term pleasure in exchange for long term reward. I'm going to say it again, it's a really boring way to say it, but I believe it's the way that Dr. Barclay put it and he's the goat, so we're just going to use his words. It's the skill that allows you to delay short term pleasure. What's going to feel good right now in exchange for long term reward. And it allows you to stay on task and resist the impulse to do something else. Resist the impulse to pick up your phone, Resist the impulse to go get a snack. Resist the impulse to divert your attention to something that feels better to something that is more fun. Okay. When it comes to time management, again, this is one of the main reasons why we're hopping from task to task. Because we maybe jump into a task and then it's not fun and we're like, screw this, this is not fun. I don't want to do this. I'm moving on. I'm going to go do something that feels better in my body. And your ability or inability to inhibit that impulse and is going to determine how successful you are at time management. Self motivation is a big, you know what I'm saying? So much of ADHD is connected to self motivation and that it's really a dopamine issue. So the dopamine that a neurotypical will experience. Doing, like the most mundane tasks is not something that we get to enjoy, all right? Because our reward system is broken, we have fewer dopamine receptors in our brain. This is a big reason why people take medication. It's because medication impacts your receptor's ability to grab onto that dopamine. Okay? And so this is something that is often remedied with medication for most people. So the dopamine that allows you to get started on something that is a non preferred task, something that you think.

[Kristen Carter]

Is stupid, something that you know is.

[Podcast Guest/ADHD Coach]

Going to be hard work, something that feels just like, this is so dumb. I always bring up like expense reports and listen, I'm not even someone that's.

[Kristen Carter]

Ever had to do an expense report.

[Podcast Guest/ADHD Coach]

But I've coached people who, who have. Okay, so that's something. And I just know that those of you in corporate, you have these tasks that are just like, they seem so pointless to you. And so you just put it off and put it off and put it off and put it off. And then all of a sudden it's the end of the month or the end of the year and you've got to do all of it at one time. This used to be me with my taxes before I had the wherewithal to hire someone else to do my bookkeeping and taxes. Hire Lori, by the way, because Lori is going to do your bookkeeping for you, apparently. Right? But before I had the money or the ability to hire someone to do that for me, that was on me. So as an entrepreneur, every, like, what was it, April? I would just be scrambling to do my finances, my bookkeeping, my records, my taxes for the whole year. Because it was just like a stupid task that I felt was pointless that I didn't want to do throughout the year. Very, very little return on investment. And when you're doing your bookkeeping in January, you're just like, I don't really care. That's not great financial advice. Don't listen to me. It was the wrong way to think about it, but you understand what I'm saying. The example of denying myself that the short term pleasure of doing a task that feels good, that would have been real helpful. That would have been real helpful. So self motivation and dopamine are a whole thing. The next we're gonna talk about two more executive functions. The next one we're gonna talk about is emotional regulation. And I think that most of the time, emotional regulation is actually the most crucial skill that affects our time management because our emotions fuel our actions. And if we can't regulate our emotions. We can't regulate our actions. And our actions are what lead us to either manage our time well or not manage our time well. Right. And so if we can get a handle on emotional regulation, this is why I have an entire course in my coaching program on emotional regulation, because it is one of the most important skills for humans, for humans, and especially for those of us with adhd. So most of the time we don't have necessarily a time management issue. We have an emotional. Emotional management issue.

[Kristen Carter]

I'm just going to go ahead and say that.

[Podcast Guest/ADHD Coach]

So much of our time choices, our calendar choices, are due to our emotions. And if we can get a handle on our emotions, then we can make better executive decisions around our time. For example, when you are afraid to let someone down so you say yes.

[Kristen Carter]

To something that you truly do not.

[Podcast Guest/ADHD Coach]

Have time for and you screw over your entire day because you're too scared to say no to someone, that's not a time management issue. That's an emotional regulation issue. That's an issue of like, I need to just be able to feel this fear and tell them no anyway. I need to be able to look someone in the face and say, no, I'm sorry, I'm not able to do that for. For you so that I can stay on top of my plan that I already made for my day. So a lot of our time management, and I'm putting that in air quotes, a lot of our time management struggles are actually disguised as they are actually emotional regulation struggles. So let me say it this way. A lot of our emotional regulation struggles are disguised as time management issues.

[Sponsor/Ad Host]

So we blame it on time management.

[Podcast Guest/ADHD Coach]

When really the root issue is not able to manage my emotions. I'm not able to do this. Scared. I'm not able to say no to someone because I feel guilty. I'm not able to make myself do this task that doesn't feel good. I'm not able to handle the boredom that comes with following through on what I said I was going to do. So much of our time management problems are actually emotional regulation problems. Well, that was a word. That was a word. I think that was important. Okay, the last one we're going to talk about is self reflection. And this is why you continually make the same mistakes over and over.

[Kristen Carter]

I'm so sorry.

[Podcast Guest/ADHD Coach]

I'm so sorry. Get in here. Let me give you a hug. Let me take you by the hand and look you in the eyes and say, I'm so sorry. Because I know that you're making the same mistakes over and over. And you're, you're pissed about it, you're annoyed, you're mad, you're like, why do I keep doing the same thing over and over? It's because of a lack of self reflection. It's not because you're a bad person. It's not because there's something morally wrong with you. It's not because you, like, have a flawed character. It's because your executive functions are deficient. And one of those executive functions is your ability to self reflect, to look at what you've done and say, okay, this worked well, but this didn't work.

[Kristen Carter]

I need to make an adjustment.

[Podcast Guest/ADHD Coach]

Okay. It's really hard for us ADHDers to see when we're living in fantasy. Yeah, I have plenty of time to get that done. That's no problem. Yes, I would love to do that for you. I have plenty of time. We don't see these fantasies. It's hard to correct our mistakes. So we make the same mistakes over and over. It's really hard for us to evaluate, self reflect and adjust our behavior accordingly. All right, so this is not nothing. Self reflection, emotional regulation, self motivation, inhibition, or like impulsivity, organization, prioritization and planning, that cluster of skills, and then also working memory, all of those executive functions, to varying degree for different people, like all of us are going to experience these to varying degrees of severity. They are deficient. And so that means it directly impacts our ability to manage our time. And so, yes, it is harder for you than it is for neurotypicals. I want to just. Can we pause here together? It is harder for you. It's harder for you. And I want that to not make you feel badly about yourself. I actually want that to spur you to feeling compassion for yourself. Oh, this is hard for me. It actually should be hard for me. If time management wasn't hard for me, I probably wouldn't have adhd. Probably. Like that's a key component. Right. Of the ADHD struggle. Now, not to say that if you've worked at it and, and you've done a lot of healing work and you're supporting your ADHD and you're medicated, caffeinated, regulated, that you can't manage your time. So maybe some of you have made extreme progress in this area. I know that I have. I've made a ton of progress in this area, but I still can't predict how long something's going to take. I still have to lean on my neurotypical team or my neurotypical spouse or my neurotypical BFF to say, like, do I actually have time for this? Is this going to be too much for me? Do even. Just like I told you, we were at a water polo tournament in Texas and I traveled with a mom friend and it was like so fun. We had the best time. But I leaned on her to tell me what time to show up. I just, I never, I was like, what time should we leave for the airport? My brain doesn't. My brain doesn't do time math. It just doesn't. What time. Like, okay, they have to be at the pool at 9 tomorrow. What time do we need to leave? She was the one that I leaned on for all of that time math because my brain does not do it well. So it is harder for me. And that's okay. It's not a moral failing, it's just a fact. Okay. How you doing? You okay? You okay? Take a deep breath. Like, how does it feel for you for me to say this is actually harder for you? It should be hard. And like, we need to accept that it's hard because accepting that it's hard and maybe even accepting like this is harder for me than it is for everyone else is actually the pathway to making amazing changes. Because if I just tell myself, why is this so hard for me? This shouldn't be so hard. Everybody else can do it. Why can't I? That's not going to lead me to make a change. What that's going to lead me to is to think, I just need the right planner, I just need the right system, I just need the right app. Then I'll be able to do it like everyone else. Instead of saying, it's not about the planner, it's not about this system, it's not about the app, it's actually about my brain and how my brain is functioning. And so I need to make some big changes here in order to support myself and in order to do this. Well.

[Kristen Carter]

Thanks for listening to this bite sized episode of the I have ADHD podcast. If you enjoyed this clip, you'll find a link to the the full episode in the show notes. And don't Forget to visit ihaveadhd.com for.

[Podcast Guest/ADHD Coach]

Tons of adult ADHD support.

[Kristen Carter]

All right, my friends, I had a.

[Podcast Guest/ADHD Coach]

Great time with you today and I.

[Kristen Carter]

Cannot wait to talk to you again next week.

[Podcast Guest/ADHD Coach]

Bye. Bye.