Co-host or Guest (3:13)

Guys, in days.

Kristen Carter (3:15)

Instead of waiting months and months for care. More than 300,000 patients have already found psychiatric care through tochiatry. If you've been waiting, wondering, or wanting to explore your options, head to to DashD to complete the short assessment and get matched in minutes. That's talkiatry.com I have ADHD hey, what's up? This is Kristen Carter and you are listening to a bite sized episode of the I have ADHD podcast. I am medicated, caffeinated, regulated and ready to roll.

Co-host or Guest (3:54)

This little episode is one of my.

Kristen Carter (3:56)

Favorite clips from the podcast.

Co-host or Guest (3:58)

It's perfect if you're not in the.

Kristen Carter (3:59)

Mood for a full hour long listen.

Co-host or Guest (4:02)

Because let's be real, some of us.

Kristen Carter (4:04)

ADHDers just don't have the patience for all of that.

Co-host or Guest (4:08)

But if you are a die hard.

Kristen Carter (4:09)

Listener, think of this as your midweek Pick me up.

Co-host or Guest (4:13)

It's Thursday y'.

Kristen Carter (4:14)

All. Friday is right around the corner. If you love this clip, check out the show notes for a link to the full episode. And remember, my friend, drink your water, take your meds, grab a snack. Now let's get rolling.

Co-host or Guest (4:28)

Let's talk about time management. Let's talk about the executive functions that impact your ability or inability to manage time. Now we already talked about working memory when I was responding to Alex's voicemail, but I'll go into it here. Okay, so working memory is extremely important when it comes to time management. So verbal working memory is the mind's voice which keeps you on track and focused. It's your inner monologue. A lot of us ADHDers are on either one end of an extreme or another. Either we have a really loud, chattery inner monologue that won't shut up. And so it's really disorienting because it's just like yapping at us all day long or we don't hear anything, we've got nothing. And I'm curious, like take a moment to reflect. Is your inner monologue yapping at you all day long or do you literally not have anything in your mind like that mind's voice? For me, I don't have the mind's voice I've tried to develop it over time, but most of the time, when I need to keep myself on track, I'm talking to myself out loud because I don't have the inner monologue, so I just talk to myself out loud. Okay, Kristen, we're doing good. Keep going. This is what we're doing. Don't forget. This is important. Keep going. Okay, Then there's nonverbal working memory, which is the mind's eye. This is different from a photographic memory. It allows you to imagine the finished product. So it's not necessarily a memory of something that you've read or seen, which is the photographic memory that Alex was talking about. Right. But this is allowing yourself to imagine the steps that you need to take to get the job done. Imagining the finished product and visualizing, like, the roadmap in your head to get there. Okay? So that's where a lot of us are weak, and this is where we struggle to conceptualize time. This is what I mean when we're, like, when I said earlier, like, we don't even realize or conceptualize the passage of time. Okay? And so this is why it's hard to understand how, like, for five minutes can feel like 17 hours, and 17 hours sometimes can feel like five minutes. It's like, it makes no sense. Okay. And it also makes it really hard for us to predict how long something's gonna take. Oh, that'll just take five minutes. Seven hours later, we're like, I'm past the deadline, and now I'm in trouble. Okay? So that is working memory. There's a skill set of organization, planning, and prioritization, and that cluster of skills is an executive function.

Kristen Carter (7:18)

It.

Co-host or Guest (7:21)

It's so frustrating that this is one of the main things that we struggle with, because this allows us to prioritize and sequence and plan out. Okay, here's what I need to do next. Here's what needs to happen first, when you think about time management, so much of our executive function impacting time management is this cluster set of skills. I mean, it's kind of like a clusterfuck, like, not an actual great cluster. Do you know what I'm saying? Organization, prioritization, planning. Like, so much of time management is wrapped up in that, and since it's deficient, it makes it so difficult. Where do I start? I have a hundred things to do today. Where do I even start? And so our brains will often just resist the mountain of things that we need to do because it just feels way too overwhelming to organize, prioritize, and plan. Okay? Whew that's a big one. Inhibition. This is where impulsivity comes in. When you think about time management and inhibition. Inhibition is the skill that allows you to delay short term pleasure in exchange for long term reward. I'm gonna say it again, it's a really boring way to say it, but I believe it's the way that Dr. Barclay put it and he's the goat, so we're just gonna use his words. It's the skill that allows you to delay short term pleasure, what's gonna feel good right now in exchange for long term reward. And it allows you to stay on task and resist the impulse to do something else. Resist the impulse to pick up your phone. Resist the impulse to go get a snack. Resist the impulse to divert your attention to something that feels better to something that is more fun. Okay. When it comes to time management, again, this is one of the main reasons why we're hopping from task to task. Because we maybe jump in to a task and then it's not fun and we're like, screw this, this is not fun. I don't want to do this. I'm moving on. I'm going to go do something that feels better in my body. And your ability or inability to inhibit that impulse is going to determine how successful you are at time management. Self motivation is a big, ugh.

Kristen Carter (9:53)

You.

Co-host or Guest (9:53)

Know what I'm saying? So much of ADHD is connected to self motivation and that it's really a dopamine issue. So the dopamine that a neurotypical will experience doing like the most mundane tasks is not something that we get to enjoy. All right? Because our reward system is broken, we have fewer dopamine receptors in our brain. This is a big reason why people take medication. It's because medication impacts your receptor's ability to grab onto that dopamine. Okay? And so this is something that is often remedied with medication for most people. So the dopamine that allows you to get started on something that is a non preferred task, something that you think is stupid, something that you know is gonna be hard work, something that feels just like, this is so dumb. I always bring up like expense reports and listen, I'm not even someone that's ever had to do an expense report, but I've coached people who, who have. Okay, so that's something. And I just know that those of you in corporate, you have these tasks that are just like, they seem so pointless to you and so you just put it off and put it off and put it off and put it off. And then all of a sudden it's the end of the month or the end of the year and you've got to do all of it at one time. This used to be me with my taxes before I had the wherewithal to hire someone else to do my bookkeeping and taxes. Hire Lori, by the way, because Lori is going to do your bookkeeping for you, apparently. Right. But before I had the money or the ability to hire someone to do that for me, that was on me. So as an entrepreneur, every, like, what was it, April? I would just be scrambling to do my finances, my bookkeeping, my records, my taxes for the whole year. Because it was just like a stupid task that I felt was pointless, that I didn't want to do throughout the year. Very, very little return on investment. When you're doing your bookkeeping, you know, in January, you're just like, I don't really care. That's not great financial advice. Don't listen to me. It was the wrong way to think about it. But you understand what I'm saying. The example of denying myself that the short term pleasure of doing a task that feels good, that would have been real helpful. Okay, that would have been real helpful. So self motivation and dopamine are a whole thing. The next we're going to talk about two more executive functions. The next one we're going to talk about is emotional regulation. And I think that most of the time, emotional regulation is actually the most crucial skill that affects our time management because our emotions fuel our actions. And if we can't regulate our emotions, we can't regulate our actions. And our actions are what lead us to either manage our time well or not manage our time well. Right. And so if we can get a handle on emotional regulation, this is why I have an entire course in my coaching program on emotional regulation, because it is one of the most important skills for humans, for humans, and especially for those of us with adhd. So most of the time we don't.

Kristen Carter (13:20)

Have necessarily a time management issue.

Co-host or Guest (13:23)

We have an emotional management issue. I'm just gonna go ahead and say that. So much of our time choices, our calendar choices, are due to our emotions. And if we can get a handle on our emotions, then we can make better executive decisions around our time. For example, when you are afraid to let someone down, so you say yes to something that you truly do not have time for, and you screw over your entire day because you're too scared to say no to someone, that's not a time management issue. That's an emotional regulation issue. That's an issue of like, I need to just be able to feel this fear and tell them no anyway. I need to be able to look someone in the face and say, no, I'm sorry, I'm not able to do that for you so that I can stay on top of my plan that I already made for my day. So a lot of our time management, and I'm putting that in air quotes, a lot of our time management struggles are actually disguised as they are actually emotional regulation struggles. So let me say it this way. A lot of our emotional regulation struggles are disguised as time management issues. So we blame it on time management. When really the root issue is I'm not able to manage my emotions. I'm not able to do this scared. I'm not able to say no to someone because I feel guilty. I'm not able to make myself do this task that doesn't feel good. I'm not able to handle the boredom that comes with following through on what I said I was going to do. So much of our time management problems are actually emotional regulation problems.

Kristen Carter (15:27)

Thanks for listening to this bite sized episode of the I have ADHD Podcast. If you enjoyed this clip, you'll find a link to the full episode in the show notes. And don't Forget to visit ihaveadhd.com for tons of adult ADHD support. All right my friends, I had a great time with you today and I can cannot wait to talk to you again next week. Bye bye.

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