377 BITESIZE | Everyone Has ADHD? How to Respond to Dismissive, Ignorant Comments

Summary

Podcast Summary: I Have ADHD Podcast – Episode 377 BITESIZE

Title: Everyone Has ADHD? How to Respond to Dismissive, Ignorant Comments
Host: Kristen Carder
Date: February 12, 2026

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Overview

This bite-sized episode of the I Have ADHD Podcast centers on a frustrating but all-too-common experience: having ADHD invalidated by dismissive comments, particularly the phrase “everyone has ADHD.” Host Kristen Carder reacts to a listener's voicemail recounting such an encounter and explores how people with ADHD can respond to these moments with composure, authority, and self-respect. The episode offers validation, solidarity, and practical communication tools for dealing with stigma.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Setting the Scene: Listener Voicemail (Tristan’s Story)

[05:02]

• Tristan describes her experience at the pharmacy being denied her ADHD medication a day before her refill was technically available.
• When Tristan expressed frustration, the pharmacist responded: “Well, everyone has ADHD.”
• Tristan reflects on the dismissiveness and stigma implicit in such a comment, especially coming from a medical professional.

“It just shows, unfortunately, the stigma that still goes along with this.” – Tristan [06:02]

Kristen’s Emotional Reaction

[06:52]

• Kristen and her co-host (or guest host) express outrage and empathy:
  • They are viscerally upset ("Are you enraged, listener, as I am?" – Kristen, [07:17]) and emphasize how dismissive comments compound the challenges faced by ADHDers.
  • Kristen notes the importance of not accepting such treatment and the need for communal empowerment.

“We should be bothered by this...We need to stop accepting this from people.” – Kristen [07:25, 08:42]

Deconstructing the Stigma

[07:28–08:42]

• The dismissive statement by the pharmacist is unpacked: it implies ADHD is common, over-diagnosed, or fabricated, therefore, medication is unnecessary.
• Highlights the harm: invalidation of the ADHDer’s experience and perpetuation of stigma from those in positions of authority.

Crafting a “Locked and Loaded” Response

[12:26]

• Kristen suggests ADHDers should decide in advance how to respond to such comments so they aren’t caught off guard.
• Admits that in the moment, it’s normal to freeze or be shocked, so preparation is key.
• Recommends a calm, curious—and slightly challenging—reply:
  • “What an interesting thing to say. What do you mean by that?”

"For me, what I'm thinking through is...‘What an interesting thing to say. What do you mean by that?’" – Kristen [13:19]

Empowerment Through Community & Practice

[13:58–16:31]

• Urges listeners to prepare their own version of a “locked and loaded” comeback.
• Emphasizes not being disrespectful in return, but standing firm and not explaining or apologizing for their diagnosis.
• Encourages the ADHD community to call out ignorance and shift the burden of explanation onto those making ignorant statements.

“I'm not going to explain how everyone does not have ADHD. That's not on me to explain.” – Kristen [17:11]

Encouragement to Share & Call In

[15:20, 17:13]

• Kristen invites listeners to share their own stories of dismissive, ignorant comments so the community can learn, empathize, and strategize together.
• Presents these stories as valuable learning moments for the ADHD community.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Tristan’s Frustration:

  "I'm still bothered so significantly by someone who would make such a comment in that role...it just shows, unfortunately, the stigma that still goes along with this." – Tristan [05:47]

• Kristen’s Righteous Anger:

  "We should be angry about this. This is not appropriate. It’s actually extremely ignorant." – Kristen [07:25]

• Preparation is Power:

  "How about we just take a stop and think and we say, okay, the next time someone says to me, ‘Well, everyone has ADHD’ ... What do I want to say back? Because I need to have something locked and loaded." – Kristen [12:26]

• Turning the Tables:

  “What an interesting thing to say. What do you mean by that?” – Kristen [13:19]

• No More Accepting Stigma:

  "We need, like, no more. No more. Listener, I want you to have something locked and loaded." – Kristen [14:50]

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Important Timestamps

• [05:02] Tristan’s voicemail recounting the pharmacy incident
• [06:52] Kristen and co-host’s angry reaction
• [07:25] Call for the community to stop accepting dismissive comments
• [12:26] Discussing the need to prepare a “locked and loaded” response
• [13:19] Model reply: “What do you mean by that?”
• [16:31] On not explaining your diagnosis, shifting the burden of explanation onto the other person
• [17:13] Final encouragement for listeners to call in and share their stories

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Takeaway & Tone

Kristen Carder delivers this episode in her trademark direct, empathetic, and energetic style. She validates the frustration that comes with dismissive comments about ADHD, arms listeners with practical language to protect their dignity, and fosters community by inviting ongoing participant stories. Listeners are left feeling empowered, seen, and equipped to handle similar confrontations with grace and authority.

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Transcript

[Kristen Carter]

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[Co-host or Guest Host]

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[Kristen Carter]

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[Co-host or Guest Host]

It's perfect if you're not in the.

[Kristen Carter]

Mood for a full hour long listen because let's be real, some of us ADHDers just don't have the patience for all of that. But if you are a die hard listener, think of this as your midweek pick me up. It's Thursday y'. All. Friday is right around the corner. If you love this clip, check out the show notes for a link to the full episode. And remember my friend, drink your water, take your meds, grab a snack. Now let's get rolling.

[Co-host or Guest Host]

We are going to start off with a voicemail today. When I heard this voicemail, my blood boiled. My blood boiled. Guys, call in with stuff like this because I want, I want to rant about it. I want, I want to stand up for you. I want to, I want to hear your stories like this. We're going to hear from Tristan and you'll know why I'm triggered. Let's go. Roll. Roll the tape.

[Tristan]

Hi Kristin, I wanted to call and review a message. You're actually one of the first people I thought about when this happened to me and I wanted to share it in the case that it's happened or does happen to others. So ADHD medication can be tricky, especially if you're dealing with stimulants. I get that. I think most of us do. However, the pharmacy locally here told me that they cannot release any medication prior to 30 days. So at the 30th day. So I've been, you know, it takes a lot of accommodations as far as making sure that that's a smooth transition for me personally. But yesterday I called and it was the 29th day because the pharmacist that was there the day prior said they would have it ready. Well, this pharmacist told me that they wouldn't, and they wouldn't until the 30th day. And when I started to show a little bit of frustration, this is a true story. The pharmacist says, well, everyone has adhd. Oh. I was like, oh, wow. So this was yesterday. Now it's the following morning. And I'm still bothered so significantly by someone who would make such a comment in that role, just in general, but someone who has a doctorate degree behind a pharmacy counter. To say something like that, it just. It just shows, unfortunately, the stigma that still goes along with this. So I just wanted to let you know that this took place and to share with anybody else if this has ever happened. What does happen. Obviously not everybody has ADHD or that comment wouldn't have been made. So we know. Anyways, all stay strong. Thanks, Kristen. Bye.

[Co-host or Guest Host]

I mean, what in the actual hell? I cannot believe that a pharmacist would say everyone has adhd. I'm so glad that you called to tell this story and that you like. The fact that you thought of me makes my heart so happy. It makes my heart so happy. Like.

[Kristen Carter]

Are you enraged, listener as I am.

[Co-host or Guest Host]

Are you enraged? Because we should be.

[Kristen Carter]

We should be bothered by this.

[Co-host or Guest Host]

We should be angry about this. This is not appropriate. It's actually extremely ignorant. And to have someone in a position of power, in a position where they should have knowledge about mental health in some capacity, if they're distributing medication, the fact that they would say, well, everyone has adhd, I'm just dismissing you. Essentially, the, like, parenthetical statement is like, so I don't know why you even are giving me a hard time about getting your medication on time. I don't even know why you're bothering and making this effort to get your medication because everyone has adhd. I'm going to dismiss your diagnosis. I'm going to dismiss the struggle that you are going through, and I'm going to imply to you that this medication is unnecessary. Like, absolutely ridiculous. Thank you for sending this in because I just. I want to be angry with you. I want to be angry for you. And I want us to show all of our listeners, like, I want you guys to really understand that we need to stop. We need to stop accepting this from people.

[Kristen Carter]

This episode is sponsored by Marley Spoon. Every year I tell myself I'm going to get better at meal planning. And every year life happens and it all falls apart. What finally clicked for me is realizing that meals don't have to look one specific way, they just have to fit your life. And that's what Marley Spoon does so well. What I love is that Marley Spoon actually adapts with you. Some nights you cook, some nights you heat, and some nights you just need dinner done fast. They've got options for all of it without overthinking it. They give you over a hundred chef designed recipes to choose from every week with quality ingredients and flavors that actually make eating at home feel exciting again. Comforting classics, Fresh balanced meals. There's something for every mood. And on those nights when I need dinner done like yesterday, their prepared meals are lifesavers. Convenient, delicious and on the table in minutes. If I do have a little more energy, their 20 minute meals or tray baked dinners are my favorite hack. You literally throw everything on one tray, they even include the tray and you're done. One of my recent favorites was their chicken Parmesan ciabatta sandwiches. Every single member of my family ate and enjoyed that meal meal. And that is a rarity in the Carter home. Believe me. The best part is I am cooking at home more, stressing about food less and eating better without trying to become a whole new person. This year, fast track your way to eating well with Marley spoon. Head to marley spoon.com offer ihaveadhd for up to 25 free meals that's marleyspoon.com offer ihaveadhd for up to 25 free free meals Marley Spoon Meals reimagined for real life this episode is sponsored by Talkiatry. Do you ever feel like you're doing all the right things? Journaling, drinking water, trying to move your body, learning about your adhd, and yet somehow you just still feel off. That experience comes up a lot for those of us in this community, and it can be really confusing. Sometimes therapy helps, but sometimes strategy helps. And sometimes it's worth exploring whether psychiatric care can be another piece of support. That's why I want to tell you about Talkiatry. Talkiatry is a fully online psychiatry practice that connects you with a licensed psychiatrist who can provide evaluations, diagnoses, and ongoing medication management for mental health conditions like adhd, anxiety, depression, insomnia and more. This isn't an app, and it's not therapy. Only with Talkiatry you're meeting with a medical provider who can diagnose mental health conditions and prescribe medication when it's appropriate. You'll work with the same clinician over time, creating care that's thoughtful, personalized, and evidence based. Talkiatry also works with major insurers, which makes psychiatric care far more accessible. And the process is refreshingly simple. You complete a short online assessment, get matched with the clinicians who fit your needs and can schedule your first visit in days.

[Co-host or Guest Host]

Guys, in days.

[Kristen Carter]

Instead of waiting months and months for care. More than 300,000 patients have already found psychiatric care through toxiatry. If you've been waiting, wondering, or wanting to explore your options, head to to complete the short assessment and get matched in minutes. That's talkiatry.com IhaveADHD like, how about we.

[Co-host or Guest Host]

All decide in advance what we're going to say to someone the next time they make this comment to us? How about that? How about we just take a stop and think and we say, okay, the next time someone says to me, well, everyone has ADHD or something like that. A date, A dismissive, an ignorant, dismissive comment like that. What do I want to say back? Because I need to have something locked and loaded. Because in the moment I would have no idea what to say. I would be so caught off guard. I would be so, like, dumbfounded that a pharmacist would say something like that to me and I wouldn't have a response. I wouldn't know it. I would just freeze. So let's get a response. Locked and loaded. Okay, so for me, what I'm thinking through is the way that I want to respond to that is what an.

[Kristen Carter]

Interesting thing to say.

[Co-host or Guest Host]

What do you mean by that? I'd like to put it back onto them. What an, what an interesting thing to say. What. What do you mean by that? What do you mean everyone has adhd? What do you, what exactly are you saying? Hello, I'm curious what you want your response to be, but I do think that us ADHDers, as, like, a general community need to have something locked and loaded. Ready to go. Ready to go. Oh, everyone has adhd. So you're distributing this medication to everyone? Hello?

[Kristen Carter]

Yes.

[Co-host or Guest Host]

Is that what you mean by everyone has adhd? What exactly do you mean? I just, I want us all as a community to grow from this. Because if a pharmacist is gonna say that to an ADHDer's face, no one's off limits. Like, anybody can say it, right? So let's go ahead and like, I would if that had happened to me in the moment, I wouldn't have known what to say. But let's go ahead and prepare ourselves for that happening, because clearly it's going to continue to happen. Clearly, this is a stigma that has not been eradicated. Clearly that we have more work to do. And I think part of that is us owning our authority here and not allowing people to get away with saying.

[Kristen Carter]

Stupid shit like, we need, like, no more. No more.

[Co-host or Guest Host]

So I just. Listener, I want you to have something locked and loaded. Tristan, I'm so glad that you called in. Like, girl, I am so glad, because I hope you feel validated. I hope that I can just, like, stand with you in solidarity and say, I'm so sorry that that happened to you. But also, let's all learn from this and have something locked and loaded ready to go. We're not gonna be unkind. We're not gonna be disrespectful. We're not even going to be rude, but we're not going to accept that from other people anymore. We're done. We're all done with it. We're all done. This is not even the point of the episode, but I just want to. I just want to rant on it forever. This is so inappropriate. Anyway, call in with the crazy shit that people say to you. I want to hear it. Like, this could be a new theme for our voicemails, where you just call in and tell me the dumb things that people say, and then I get to get angry on your behalf and I get to just rage about it here on the podcast. And then we all get to learn and. And figure out, okay, how do we want to navigate these scenarios? Because when you are caught off guard in the moment, it's so easy to just smile and nod and like, okay, like, I don't know what to say to you, but, like, let's start prepping for these conversations in ways that allow us to show up with authority, not with disrespect. I'm not saying being rude, although that.

[Kristen Carter]

Is a rude thing to say.

[Co-host or Guest Host]

Hello. So maybe we just match energy. Maybe we just match energy a little bit. But locked and loaded for me is. What an interesting thing to say. What do you mean by that? Putting it back on the person calling them out. Calling them out and putting it back on them to explain themselves. Because I'm not going to explain my. I'm not. I'm not. Ooh. Do you feel it? Do you feel it coming through the microphone? I'm not gonna do any explaining. I don't have anything to explain. I'm not gonna explain how everyone does not have adhd. That's not on me to explain.

[Kristen Carter]

Explain.

[Co-host or Guest Host]

That's like, scientific fact. But I will put the burden on the ignorant person to explain themselves. What do you. What do you mean by that? What are you trying to communicate to me? Okay, we're moving on. Call in with the crazy stuff people say to you. 8332-8123-4383-3281-2343 Foreign.

[Kristen Carter]

Thanks for listening to this bite size episode of the I have ADHD podcast. If you enjoyed this clip, you'll find a link to the full episode in the show notes. And don't Forget to visit ihaveadhd.com for tons of adult ADHD support. All right, my friends, I had a great time with you today, and I cannot wait to talk to you again next week. Bye. Bye.