Amy Silverberg Disobeys Bridger

Summary

"I Said No Gifts!" with Bridger Winegar

Episode: Amy Silverberg Disobeys Bridger

Original Release: November 20, 2025

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Episode Overview

Bridger Winegar welcomes comedian and author Amy Silverberg to the podcast for an early morning recording full of warm, offbeat conversation. As ever, despite Bridger’s persistent and insistent request (“No gifts!”), Amy arrives bearing something unique—a painting by her father. Their chat meanders through stories of dry heaving, dysfunctional mornings, the peculiarities of teaching Gen Z, their relationships with hobbies and gambling, and even a philosophical discussion on toilet paper orientation. The result is a hilarious, self-deprecating, and refreshingly honest exchange between two kindred spirits of neurotic comedy.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Early Morning Woes & Pizza Party Disasters ([02:04]–[07:32])

• Bridger sets the scene by noting it’s their earliest ever recording (10:43am)—a time neither host nor guest is emotionally prepared for.
• Amy and Bridger commiserate over recent dry-heaving experiences: Amy’s food poisoning from a barbecue chicken pizza at a party (which turns out to have been her own birthday celebration), leading to a comedic breakdown of blame and distrust of Culver City pizza ([05:37]).
• They marvel at the divisive nature of barbecue chicken pizza, and Amy jokes about distancing herself from its selection.

Memorable Quote:

• Amy: “I'm putting all of Culver City on notice. Yes, the whole city.” ([06:54])

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Phones, Social Media, and Gen Z Observations ([07:32]–[11:58])

• The pair discuss attempts at managing phone addiction, with Amy recommending the ScreenZen app and both acknowledging their “boomer” levels of technological expertise.
• Amy, currently teaching college creative writing, shares insights on her Gen Z students: they’re shy, internet-weary, and their writing classes devolve into ex-boyfriend FaceTime drama.
• They touch lightly on generational hand-wringing, with Bridger noting that “the advertisers are starting to turn their gaze towards Gen Alpha, and the rest of us are just continually losing power and sliding towards death.” ([11:44])

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Relationships, Living Alone, and Private Lives ([14:00]–[16:21])

• Amy explains her preference for not living with her boyfriend, citing childhood trauma from a lack of privacy and a current need for space.
• Bridger reveals that he and his partner often sleep in separate beds—a choice both see as healthy and sanity-preserving.
• Their mutual therapy journeys, including shoutouts to Dr. Barbara, shed light on their self-awareness.

Memorable Quote:

• Amy: "Am I in therapy? Yeah. Shout out to Dr. Barbara." ([15:29])

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Friendship, Advice, and the Art of Just Listening ([17:29]–[19:40])

• Amy is the quintessential “friend you call in the car,” offering a non-judgmental ear to friends’ endless L.A. problems—usually “problems with no solutions.”
• Both agree that friends don’t always want advice—just to be heard. On breakups: “If you insult the ex too much, then they get back together. You can’t be fully honest.” ([18:56])

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Gifts: Amy's Dad’s Paint by Number Masterpiece ([24:26]–[27:44])

• The center of the episode is the unveiling of Amy’s “gift”: a Van Gogh paint-by-number painting created by her 80-year-old dad, Larry Silverberg.
• The discussion is loving but honest—Amy describes her father’s artistic journey as producing paintings “worse than the last,” though this one is “pretty good” by family standards.
• They riff on the beauty (and terror) of picking up a hobby later in life and debate the gift's ultimate fate (could it become a doormat?).

Notable Interaction:

• Amy (deadpan): “Honestly, you could put it on the ground as a mat.”
• Bridger: “A doormat.”
• Amy: “As a doormat, yeah.” ([27:17])

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Hobbies: Poker, Gambling, and Rock Climbing ([28:38]–[48:02])

• Amy describes her passion for poker, her multiple casino memberships, and her community of “Filipino older men” friends she’s met at the tables.
• She’s a “nitty" (cautious) player, but has still experienced significant swings ($700 up, $600 down).
• Bridger confesses that, for him, gambling would become a stressful, joyless obligation—“If I lost $600, I would have to get a second job.” ([30:41])
• They touch on other hobbies—Amy's pottery class (where the instructor did all the actual work), Bridger’s brief stint with rock climbing, and their mutual lack of conventional creative outlets outside comedy.

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Apocalyptic Fantasies & Survival Skills ([35:53]–[36:40])

• The duo debates how they'd fare in a post-apocalyptic world—both agree they wouldn’t make much effort to survive.
• Amy, as a type 1 diabetic, jokes that she’d be among the first to go: “Just eat me first.”

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TV Trash and Guilty Pleasures ([41:11]–[44:27])

• Bonding over phone games (Amy: "Bubble Spinner, level 357… so creepy."), they discuss their reality TV obsessions with reveals like TLC’s “Poly Family" and “90 Day Fiancé.”
• Both have a soft spot for the “mean Russian women” taking advantage of hapless American men on reality TV.

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“Gift or a Curse” Game ([55:20]–[64:04])

• A signature part of the show: Amy plays Bridger’s “Gift or a Curse,” making snap judgments with justifications on three divisive topics.
• She goes 0/3 (notably disagreeing with Bridger on Instagram gift posts, lo-fi instrumental music, and cakes with black icing), with each “wrong” sparking more comedic debate.

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Philosophical Toilet Paper and Listener Q&A ([64:26]–[73:07])

• Producer Annalise introduces a bonus "Gift or a Curse": is it a gift or curse when someone replaces your toilet paper the “wrong” way? Spirited debate ensues—neither Amy nor Bridger understands why people care, while Annalise insists there is, in fact, a “correct” way ([67:32]).
• Listener Sarah asks for ideas for a gift for her sibling, who is on a theater tour—Amy and Bridger tongue-in-cheek suggest “a weapon and a bindle” to survive the open road, before considering practical ideas like a Swiss army knife or a nice dinner.

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Reflections, Goodbyes & Takeaways ([73:08]–end)

• Bridger thanks Amy for contributing to his “enrichment,” and Amy promises future gifts of poker chips and books.
• The two trade genuine appreciation amidst laughter at their shared neuroses and failures.

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On pizza parties and growing up:
  “I thought maybe that was the day you became a woman.” – Bridger ([06:18])
  “That was the day I became a woman. It was my bat mitzvah.” – Amy ([06:22])

• On not living together:
  “We don’t live together because I have some kooky beliefs… I need a lot of privacy.” – Amy ([14:39])

• On calling friends for support:
  “I call a friend and I listen to her problems… They’re problems with no solutions.” – Amy ([17:42])

• On Amy’s dad’s painting hobby:
  “Every painting he does is worse than the last. This one’s actually one of his better ones.” – Amy ([25:00])
  “I just think, actually, that it’s really beautiful to start a hobby late in life.” – Amy ([27:20])

• On apocalypse plans:
  "I'm a type 1 diabetic. Just eat me first." – Amy ([36:12])
  "I would loot. Absolutely. I would loot now.” – Bridger ([36:52])

• On classic L.A. topics:
  “Turns out we're ready to loot right now.” – Amy ([38:56])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00 – Ads and theme
• 02:04 – Bridger introduces the show and sets the (sleepy) scene
• 04:54 – Amy joins, dry heaving and pizza party stories
• 10:28 – Teaching Gen Z, creative writing woes
• 14:39 – Relationships, privacy, and living alone
• 17:42 – Phone calls, listening to problems, and L.A. friend therapy
• 24:26 – Unwrapping Amy’s gift (dad’s paint by number)
• 28:52 – Poker, gambling, and casino tales
• 35:59 – Apocalypse planning (or lack thereof)
• 41:11 – Hobbies, phone games, TLC trash TV
• 55:20 – “Gift or a Curse” game
• 64:36 – Philosophical toilet paper debate
• 68:18 – Listener Q&A: gifts for theater siblings
• 73:08 – Closing gratitude and gentle roasting

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Tone & Language

In classic "I Said No Gifts!" fashion, the tone is dry, self-deprecating, and intimate, with Bridger and Amy freely admitting their flaws and indulging in low-stakes confessions. There’s a camaraderie based on shared anxieties, L.A. irritations, and the joy of ribbing each other. The banter toes the line between silly and sincerely thoughtful throughout.

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Summary for New Listeners

This episode is a quintessential “I Said No Gifts!” experience—if you’ve never listened, expect loose but sharp-witted conversations, an irreverent spin on the tradition of gift giving, and unfiltered takes on everything from pizza trauma to Vegas hedonism. Amy Silverberg’s deadpan delivery and Bridger Winegar’s affable neuroticism make for an hour-plus of gently cathartic fun.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Welcome to I said no gifts. I'm Bridger Weiniger. We're here in the studio. Very early recording. I think maybe the earliest recording of this podcast ever. 10:30. Well, it's 10:43, but that's 17 minutes before our usual early type of recording. So I'm in a mood. I'm in a real mood. What's going on? Let's see. Last night I saw the new Frankenstein movie, and as you might assume, the monster does go down a water slide. You get to see the Frankenstein's monster go down a water slide. I think we need to land on a name for Frankenstein's monster. I don't know. There's enough. It's enough with all the confusion. What else? I guess we're kind of in the holidays now, so I hope you're enjoying yourself. If you're the sort of person who enjoys themselves. What else? I mean, speaking of big events, I spent a good deal of the weekend dry heaving. Unfortunately, our poor little Bonnie got sick and I assume a lot of people. You know, there's a chance you may be eating right now, but there's only a few things A sick dog can do. And she went all out at 3am the level of dry heaving I was doing was Olympic level. I dry heaved myself into another century. But that's all in the past and hopefully we'll leave it in the past. And I think that's, let's see, document wise, do I have any business? Let's see. No, we have the Patreon. Just a reminder that there's the Patreon, which you go to patreon.com I saidnogifts. I mean, just, it's an ocean of content over there. I've become a real producer of content. Bonus episodes of the show. Episodes of me recapping a variety of reality television. Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. I do a little, you know, I glance at Dancing with the Stars in order to keep up with Whitney Levitt, but by the time this comes out, that's probably over. And I just have to say, Whitney Levitt, lover or hater? What a dancer. The woman can move. She's a star. They need to just put her on that show. I had never seen the show before, but I assume she's the best dancer they've ever had. But go to patreon. Patreon.com I said no gifts today. We just released the episode with my mom. I mean, she's speaking of stars. Debbie Weiniger can move as a podcast guest. She's really got it. Okay. I think we've covered all of the business. I've. I'm in a, you know, sleep deprivation and coffee and 10:30 record puts me in a new place, but I think we should get into it. I love today's guest. She's just fantastic. It's Amy Silverberg. Amy, welcome to I said no gifts.

[A]

Thank you for having me. I'm so sorry about the heaving.

[B]

Oh, when was the last time you were dry heaving?

[A]

Well, I had bad chicken.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

On a barbecue chicken pizza. Oh, I was heaving. I was heaving, all right.

[B]

Wow, that's kind of a hard for them to get the raw chicken on the pizza.

[A]

What was tough, too, was a pizza party. And I was the only one to have ventured into that particular pizza. So I was texting everybody the next day. It was like a girl's birthday. It was like all girl pizza, right? And I was like, is anyone driving? No, I didn't say driving. I was like, is anyone losing it? You know? And everyone was like, no, no. Like what? Which. And then I thought to myself, I'm the only one who experimented with the barbecue chicken.

[B]

The chicken on a barbecue chicken pizza should be cooked before the pizza, then.

[A]

With the pizza and I don't know, maybe it had sat out for too long. Who could say?

[B]

In the danger zone.

[A]

But I haven't had barbecue chicken pizza since that. I might never again.

[B]

Before that experience. How did you feel about barbecue chicken?

[A]

Take it or leave it.

[B]

Take it or leave it. That's an interesting thing.

[A]

It's really kind of weird that I went it that day because I feel.

[B]

Like people are either they absolutely hate or love a barbecue chicken pizza. It's very divisive.

[A]

One other thing I didn't lead with is it was my pizza party.

[B]

Oh, you said it was. Didn't you just say it was a girl's party?

[A]

I don't know. I didn't say it was my pizza party or my birthday with all girls, you know.

[B]

Wow. So you ordered the bomb's.

[A]

I thought a girl and the girl was me. I don't know why I had to separate myself.

[B]

I thought maybe that was the day you became a woman.

[A]

That was the day I became a woman.

[B]

So you left that girl?

[A]

It was my bat mitzvah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

So you ordered that pizza for your. For the party?

[A]

A friend did it, like ordered all the different pizzas. You know, I think that's why I sort of tried to separate myself. It wasn't my pizza ordering. I don't want anybody in the audience who wants to invite me to a pizza party. I want them to know they can trust me.

[B]

You're not going to give it away?

[A]

No, I'm not going to do anything weird.

[B]

Can you say where the pizza came from? We can beep it out.

[A]

I don't know. I know Culver City friend ordered it. She said it was a good pizza place. It was also expensive.

[B]

Oh, boy.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

I'd like to put that place.

[A]

I'm putting all of Culver City on notice. Yes, the whole city.

[B]

Until we narrow it down to this pizza parlor, the whole city is should beware poison central.

[A]

Don't eat barbecue chicken pizza.

[B]

Well, that's a long way to travel a pizza from Culver City to wherever.

[A]

We did it in Culver City.

[B]

Oh, you did it. This is what is happening at the. Were you kidnapped?

[A]

A friend lives in Culver City. I don't have a big enough apartment. She's like, let's have the pizza party in Culver City. I feel that already I've established myself as an unreliable narrator. And the whole crowd is like, what?

[B]

What can we trust from this one.

[A]

10:30 is early to get to Burbank.

[B]

10:30 is a hard time to have a conversation. Let's be honest.

[A]

Everybody at home is like, fuck you guys. I'm up at work at 8am well.

[B]

Even if I'm up at 6am from 6 until 11am I'm not someone that should be approached.

[A]

What are you doing between 6 and 8am? Disassociating.

[B]

I'm regretting my life, thinking, oh, I can't believe I woke up at all. Bickering with my boyfriend or telling him to be quiet.

[A]

Are you a person who tries to, like, stay off their phone in the morning?

[B]

A little bit. This is my morning. I wake up, turn off the alarm, and now wake. Turn off the white noise or the dark noise, I think is what it is.

[A]

And because you're a demon.

[B]

I'm a demon.

[A]

You're listening to dark noise.

[B]

I turn that off, get my phone, get my coffee and protein bar, and go into the backyard and read.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Once I'm done with my coffee, I go in and get my phone.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And then go back out. And then just start ruining my day.

[A]

Okay. Because that's a healthy way to start the day, I feel. But it doesn't prevent you from. So it doesn't prevent you from coming in and ruining things.

[B]

Right. If the phone is next to my book, I'm just not reading the book.

[A]

Yeah, you gotta leave. I got one of those apps that makes it hard to get on social media. What is this? It's called screenzen is the one that I'm using. And you have to. You're only allowed three times on 10 minutes at a time.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And then you have to wait a full minute for it to let you on. But as it's. I'm like, f. This is annoying when I have to wait that minute.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

Yeah. But it has prevented me from, like, mindlessly sort of scrolling. Because if I go to mindlessly scroll and then I see that I have to wait a full minute, I'm like, fuck this.

[B]

Right? It just, like, snaps you out of it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

But there's no workaround. I feel like I would get around the workaround.

[A]

I am so bad at technology.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

That if there is. I don't know.

[B]

So for a computer whiz like myself.

[A]

I mean, I should be named Debbie or Nancy. Nancy's my mom's name. Linda. Kathy. I'm like, I have a boomer level of technology.

[B]

Yeah. I feel like any of those things, I would just. It has to physically be Locked away from me, which is unfortunate. How much longer do you think we're all going to be trapped in? Like, at some point, there has to be a breaking point when we start leaving, at least Instagram for another new thing.

[A]

You know, I'm teaching this semester, so I'm with Gen Z.

[B]

And how are they doing?

[A]

And they are unwell, but they're kind of, like, funny. But, yeah, they do. They. You know how people talk about the Gen Z stare and stuff?

[B]

Yeah, sure, sure.

[A]

They do have kind of, like, zombie eyes that I think is from staring at their screen.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But I also think everybody's been worried about the youth since the beginning of time. I think they're, like, chilling. You know, they make me laugh. They talk about their, like, boyfriend, ex boyfriends, Facetiming them. In creative writing, we spend 45 minutes out of the hour talking about people's ex boyfriends, FaceTiming them. That's what creative writing's all about.

[B]

That's the beginning of a story.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly.

[B]

Exactly. But otherwise, they seem pretty normal.

[A]

Yeah, they're shy. They seem really shy. At least the students in my class. But once they start talking. But they seem to have a little bit more, like. No, there are no, like, class clowns that are, like, constantly interesting kind of chatting. I'm, like, begging them to talk. You know, I'm telling them I'll injure myself in front of them if they don't speak.

[B]

I feel. I feel like shy is a good place to start.

[A]

I don't mind it.

[B]

Yeah. Shy teen.

[A]

Better than the opposite.

[B]

Oh, yeah, an annoying teen. Forget it.

[A]

Come on. 19, 20, 21. You know, they're in college.

[B]

They're shy, and it feels like Gen Z is now getting to, you know, Gen Alpha's now in charge.

[A]

Yeah. I can't tell the distinction.

[B]

How old is the oldest Gen Alpha at this point? Is that like a. I'm turning to the booth. Annalise, how old is like, 15, 18? Where are we with Gen Alpha at this point?

[A]

They're born between 2010 and 2024.

[B]

Oh, okay. 15 years old. 15 years old. Damn. So they're just.

[A]

But they're not. Yeah, they're still in. They haven't gotten to me yet.

[B]

Right. They're not driving, they're not boating.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Ye.

[B]

The advertisers are starting to turn their gaze towards Gen Alpha, and the rest of us are just continually losing power and sliding towards death. Wow. I was gonna ask you how you start your mornings.

[A]

Oh, I try to do the thing where I stay off my phone and I also try to read. I gotta get a coffee. Like, the moment, you know, I'm, like, crawling out of my. I can't do anything without. I'm so addicted to caffeine, right? I get a migraine if I don't have coffee.

[B]

Coffee? Are you doing a whole pot?

[A]

In the morning, I open a can of cold brew. Oh, a can that I get from Bulk. From Costco.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

What brand is this? Huge. I gotta show you it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I think I have early onset dementia. I can't pull it from my brain. I can't pull anything from my brain.

[B]

It's so scary when someone asks me to remember something.

[A]

This is something I look at every day in order. But it's one of those. It was the highest milligrams of caffeine I could find. Do you know how many milligrams are my only choice? Like 300.

[B]

That's a good one.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I drink it and I feel that. I feel the same, but I at least don't have. I'm not getting, like a splitting headache, right? And then as I drink it, I. I try to read a book.

[B]

Okay. I think that's nice. I think I make my own cold brew. But I'm even that the idea of just being able to open a can.

[A]

You make your own cold brew?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's like trad husband of you.

[B]

I am trad husband.

[A]

I don't even know what that entails. Or is that just like pouring concentrate into.

[B]

You get this thing called a cold brew toddy, which is a plastic like thing. And then you put the coffee grounds and then water, then coffee grounds and water. Then you let it sit for 24 hours.

[A]

It's all very sexy. I feel to hear that you're making. And do you make it for your husband?

[B]

Boyfriend? Yes, yes. I make the whole.

[A]

I saw your ring and I can't remember which ring goes on.

[B]

That's a good. I forget all the time.

[A]

So I was like, I'm gonna go for it. And my husband.

[B]

Wife.

[A]

I'm gonna take a stand.

[B]

Wife excuses me.

[A]

Yes, yes.

[B]

You make the concentrate and then it sits in the fridge, and then you make it in the morning. But I make it for both of us because, see, now that.

[A]

And he can't complain ever about it.

[B]

I mean, this guy complains nonstop.

[A]

You're making him cold brew.

[B]

The amount of complaints, it's ridiculous.

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

Too much.

[A]

That's like. If I buy my boyfriend dinner, I'm like, then for the Next two weeks, I'm like, remember when I got you dinner? It's so annoying. I'm like, shut the fuck up.

[B]

I would do the same thing.

[A]

And I'm getting him, like, 2 for 1 at El Pollo Loco. And I'm like, remember that? El Pollo Loco, how good it was?

[B]

When you two usually go out to dinner, do you just split?

[A]

No, he always pays for me.

[B]

He always pays.

[A]

That's why it's so crazy for me to be like, remember? I think it's me being like, you know, the one time. But we have really different schedules because he works a normal job and I'm, you know, a kooky.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Working 10 various jobs. So I'm often bringing over, like, Taco bell at, like, 10:30 to eat.

[B]

That's very nice.

[A]

And we don't live together because I have some kooky beliefs.

[B]

Like what?

[A]

Like religious? No, my kooky beliefs are that I need a lot of privacy.

[B]

You haven't kissed yet.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. No, I just. I've never lived with anyone, and I have a great apartment.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That I love.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But I don't want to tell you how long we've been dating, because then it seems really creepy that we don't live.

[B]

I don't think that that's creepy at all. I think that that's very healthy.

[A]

We get along great.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And he keeps moving closer to me, so I'm hoping that eventually he'll just live next door.

[B]

He's slowly creeping up on me.

[A]

He's creeping up on me because I won't leave my apartment, you know?

[B]

No, I think that that's total, totally fine. Especially, I think, in a big city where it's just, like, hard to find a good apartment.

[A]

And I'm like, we don't fight, you know?

[B]

Of course. How could you possibly. Your time is more valuable when you're together.

[A]

Yes. And I feel like a lot of the things that people fight about are, like, someone breathing, of course.

[B]

You know, hearing the other person. Shit.

[A]

Yeah. Or they don't. And I'm just like, listen. Am I in therapy? Yeah. Shout out to Dr. Barbara.

[B]

She's Dr. Barbara. Reach out.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, she calls in. She's like, I'd like to talk more about. Amy has issues. Listen, I grew up in a house where, like, my dad was talking to me through the bathroom door. Like, not a lot of privacy.

[B]

That's too much. You can't talk to someone when they're on the toilet.

[A]

Larry's calling me 10 times a day, you know, he's on the toilet, he's calling me. So his name's Larry. So I'm just like, I need. I gotta live alone. Gotta live alone.

[B]

No, I totally understand that we've started. We sleep in separate beds almost every night of the week.

[A]

See, that's. And that sounds good to me.

[B]

Oh, it's lovely.

[A]

And then do you. Sorry, I sorry to bring this up on the podcast. Whose bed do you have sex in?

[B]

Oh, that's a great question. I'm not answering.

[A]

Okay. And that's fair enough. I thought I'd take a stab. You know, just.

[B]

I refuse to ask.

[A]

Sometimes I gotta take a big swing and if it's a strikeout, I don't mind. That's part of doing stand up comedy. Sometimes you get on stage and you whiff, you know.

[B]

Well, you didn't whiff. You just didn't get an answer.

[A]

I didn't get an answer. That's like my crowd work. I'm like, so what bed do you guys. I hate, I hate when comedians ask people in the crowd, like vulgar questions.

[B]

What I was going to say about calling is, do you ever get this when you call somebody on speaker and they ask, am I on speaker? When people get really sensitive about being on speakerphone.

[A]

Yeah. Like what they're really asking is, can someone hear? Can someone else hear me?

[B]

I feel like I get. A lot of the time it's just like, why don't you have. Why aren't you using your, like some of your strengths to hold the phone in the street?

[A]

I think that's weird. It's like, why? What do they care? You know, I'm doing you a big.

[B]

Favor just by even talking.

[A]

I always assumed it was. Is someone else in the room and can hear me, you know?

[B]

Right. Well, then that person's paranoid.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

And I will let somebody know if there's somebody else in the room or in the car.

[A]

I would hope I'm not just gonna blurt out something private like I blurred out on this podcast.

[B]

Are you a big phone person?

[A]

Yeah, I'm a big. Talk to my girlfriends every time I get in the. I drive a lot.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

As many LA people do. But I got a lot of jobs on every side of the city.

[B]

Right.

[A]

That I'm crossing. I'm in the car for, I feel for four hours a day. And so every time I get in the car, I call a friend and I listen to her problems.

[B]

And do you just. Do you schedule the call or you just randomly call?

[A]

I just randomly call and I got A lot of girlfriends with problems. You're a girl in your 20s, 30s, in LA, and I'm somebody who doesn't mind hearing them. I find people's problems, and there are always problems with as many girls. Problems are women's. They're problems with no solutions.

[B]

So you're just kind of just listening. You're not offering solutions?

[A]

Well, I mean, the solution is like, we have to get you to see yourself as lovable.

[B]

And I also think people don't want to hear solutions.

[A]

And what sort of solution is. You need to see yourself as lovable. They know that.

[B]

So when it becomes advice, people tune that out. They just want to.

[A]

Sometimes the solution is like, we gotta. You gotta get a job. But, like, there are.

[B]

No one wants to hear that either.

[A]

Or they're already trying to get a job.

[B]

Yeah, of course they're trying to get a job.

[A]

That's not helpful.

[B]

That's everyone in this city.

[A]

Right, right, exactly. Or like, they're sad about a breakup. And what are you gonna say to that? You're just like, yeah, I'm sad too, that you had that happen.

[B]

And you have to be careful about talking about a breakup because if you insult the ex too much, then they get back together. That becomes. You can't be fully honest. There was a minute when I was doing surprise phone calls, and I've kind of shied away from that. I think I need to get back into that.

[A]

Why did you start shying away?

[B]

I don't know. I think that during the pandemic, it became a thing that felt good to just give somebody a random phone call. And then we all got kind of back into our lives as much as we possibly could. And now it feels a little bit like, am I scaring people again?

[A]

And I was doing a lot of surprise facetimes.

[B]

Oh, see, now that's pandemic.

[A]

Which I think, yeah. That I've stopped. Now I'm only doing surprise phone calls.

[B]

Yeah, I would text before, and I don't really care to see a friend's face. Yeah, I don't need to FaceTime a friend. I will. Maybe I should start randomly calling people again.

[A]

I get into habits with certain people where I'm talking to them constantly. And then I. Like, one of my best friends lives in Australia, and I don't call her because I feel like when I call her, we need a lot of time to catch up. The people I'm calling are people who I really know what's going on in their lives. Minute to minute. Too much. I know.

[B]

You Know, I was just wondering about this. What's the longest amount of time you haven't spoken to somebody?

[A]

Like to a good friend.

[B]

To a good friend that you feel like you can still give them a phone call? Let's say you haven't spoken to somebody in two years. Is it. Do you need to text first?

[A]

Two years, that's tough. I don't think I've ever gone.

[B]

Would it be alarming to get a phone call from somebody you haven't heard from in two years?

[A]

I feel like it's either like a person from like high school that is coming out of the blue, you know?

[B]

Right.

[A]

Or a person. Yeah, it would be alarming to me. Would it be alarming to you?

[B]

I'm trying to decide. I mean, like, let's say that you're kind of in contact through social media so you're aware of each other's lives. Okay.

[A]

That's different. Yeah. You know, I'm an optimist and I always think someone is calling to get give me something.

[B]

How often does that happen?

[A]

Well, even if it's just like a. Like, you know, like, we need you to do a Q and a for 200 bucks.

[B]

Right. Right.

[A]

I don't know. That's what I'm always. I'm always. I'm like a person who answers unknown numbers thinking that it's going to be someone like, hey, we read a short story of yours. We want to turn it into a movie.

[B]

I used to have that. That's been ground down for me. That's should be feeling has been totally filed.

[A]

Or it's just like my dad finding new numbers to call me from. Like, for some reason, I now just.

[B]

Think it's either scam or medical call.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Urgent care call, medical calls.

[A]

I'm. I'm getting a lot of. I thought I have health insurance from a certain company.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And I keep getting phone calls being like, this is your health insurance, but it's a different company. I never know if it's a scam.

[B]

Or you gotta be very care.

[A]

I probably don't have health insurance now. I'm probably like, accidentally.

[B]

You have to. I think. What do they say if you think that if it seems like they're calling, you don't answer. Then you call them from a different phone number.

[A]

I thought you were going to say if it seems too good to be true.

[B]

If it seems too good. I know something about if it seems too good to be.

[A]

If someone's calling me being like, hi, yeah, it's Steven Spielberg. Can you come over like, we read a short story of yours in the Indiana Review and we need to have you. We want to make it into a movie. All my short stories are like, a girl walks into a bar and has a conversation.

[B]

I'd like health insurance to call with an offer that's too good to be.

[A]

Yeah. And hi, we have a kidney in case you ever need one.

[B]

We're just gonna keep it on ice.

[A]

We're gonna put it on ice. Let us know if you ever need one. It's waiting for you.

[B]

Well, look, speaking of disappointment and things that were too good to be true, I think that having you on the podcast may have been too good to be true because I was looking forward to having you here.

[A]

Is something bad gonna happen to me?

[B]

Something bad has happened to. I was excited to have you here. I thought, Amy will come by, we'll have a nice time. We'll just chat, see what's up with each other's lives, and then move on with our days. The podcast is called I said no Gifts. So my day was immediately ruined. And as I said, it's very early. So now I have to live through the rest of my day in a mood because you showed up holding a gift.

[A]

I'm sorry.

[B]

Doesn't seem like you are.

[A]

I just wanted to bring you a gift badly.

[B]

Okay, well, should we open it here on the podcast?

[A]

I mean, I'm embarrassed for people to see, but I guess if I have no other choice.

[B]

Well, as long as you're embarrassed.

[A]

I know you like to embarrass me.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

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[B]

Let's open it here tonight. You've totally lost. It's in this beautiful brown bag.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I'm gonna reach in here. Okay. Oh, it's an interesting feeling. Let's pull this.

[A]

I'm pulling something else.

[B]

Oh, okay. Just making sure there's nothing else in here because it's a dense bag.

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

By the way. Wow. Okay. Oh, this is be. Whoa. Oh, wait, did you. This is a Van Gogh printed on it. Where did you get this?

[A]

Okay. This is my dad's paint by number. My dad has become a painter, and every painting he does is worse than the last. This one's actually one of his better ones.

[B]

This one's pretty good.

[A]

Yeah. And I talked. You know what I really wanted to find, which I wasn't able to get, was he did a portrait of me.

[B]

Oh, let's see this.

[A]

Can you show the camera that?

[B]

We'll put this on Instagram if it's not great.

[A]

It says daughter Amy. You know, you could flip through. He's got some other really kind of awful paintings.

[B]

Who's this?

[A]

That's my mom at her at her birthday. That's pretty.

[B]

I love this waiter in the background.

[A]

A waiter in the background. This is when he was still doing paint by numbers. My dad, Larry Silverberg, who read the caption on that one, says, lots to.

[B]

Criticize about this watercolor of a girl swimmer assignment, especially the mouth. So he's just getting ahead of the viewer.

[A]

Lots to criticize. When I read that caption on a painting, lots to criticize, I thought, this is. This makes me understand myself.

[B]

And is this an original?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. So now he's no longer doing paint by numbers, but okay.

[B]

That's my brother Winston. I think he's a good painter.

[A]

Don't lie.

[B]

Koi. Some koi with masking fluid, which failed.

[A]

So hard on him.

[B]

He's really hard.

[A]

Well, of course.

[B]

Like, his daughter is here criticizing him on a phone. No.

[A]

And I hope he doesn't see this. He doesn't have Instagram. I thought maybe you could do something with that. Paint by number. Do you have any interest in art or Van Gogh?

[B]

I do. I'm a doodler. My mom's a great painter.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

A really good artist.

[A]

Send her that artist or something and let her give it a critique.

[B]

I feel like if I didn't know this was paint by numbers, I would just think it was like a, you know, print that you ordered online.

[A]

Okay. So you like it?

[B]

I like. Well, I think that's a. Like is a strong.

[A]

Will you put it up somewhere?

[B]

I'll put it up here in the studio.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Wow. We'll find a space for it. If I go on that top shelf so it'll be out of the camera.

[A]

View, my dad will feel honored that he has a painting.

[B]

Well, I'm not going to pay for a frame.

[A]

No, please.

[B]

This could probably dangle somewhere.

[A]

Or let it dangle.

[B]

Yeah, we'll let it dangle from a shelf.

[A]

Honestly, you could put it on the ground as a mat.

[B]

A doormat.

[A]

As a doormat, yeah.

[B]

What's your problem with this thing?

[A]

No, I. I just think, actually that it's really beautiful to start a hobby late in life.

[B]

Yes. Oh, so he started this how long ago?

[A]

He's about to turn 80.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

So he started it recently, and it's all he does every day is paint.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And then he calls me to tell me kind of about the paintings.

[B]

That's it.

[A]

So I want you to know I also have a lot of. He's got a lot of paintings to give away, so he won't miss this, you know.

[B]

Does he mail these to you, or do you get them when you go home?

[A]

No, when I go home. He's also trying to get me to give them away to friends. He's like, please give people my paintings.

[B]

You know, so when he gives you this one, for example, what was your reaction?

[A]

I said, van Gogh, and he said, yeah, I fucked it up. You know, immediately he was criticizing it.

[B]

Is he proud of any of his paintings?

[A]

One or two. But then he'll look at. Which I also relate to, you know, as a writer, a comedian. The next day, he'll look at it again and decide he doesn't like it.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And who among us is.

[B]

Which ones was he kind of proud of?

[A]

He likes the one that he did of my mom. I showed you that one.

[B]

Oh, okay. That's a nice one. He captured the waiter, who seems kind of frustrated.

[A]

I think he captures an essence in it, even if he captures sort of.

[B]

Nothing else, you know, does he have any goals? Does he want to be shown in a gallery? No, no.

[A]

He just wants to have fun.

[B]

And did this come out of nowhere? He was like, well, I got to do something with my time.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think he wanted, like, an artistic outlet. It honestly reminded me that I don't really have a single hobby. Oh, I have One hobby. I actually almost brought you poker chips. I play poker.

[B]

Oh, that's a good hobby.

[A]

Yeah, it is a good hobby, but, like, I have no. I think if you're in the arts as a job.

[B]

Right. It kind of ruins your hobbies.

[A]

Yeah. Then you have no sort of artistic hobby but poker, you know, like, and it's unhealthy.

[B]

How long have you been playing poker?

[A]

Like, three or four years now.

[B]

And did you teach yourself or.

[A]

Christine Medrano. I met a friend of the pod.

[B]

Former. Former guest of the pod.

[A]

Okay, shout out to Christina. She was sort of my mentor. She played.

[B]

She's an excellent poker player.

[A]

Yes. And so we go to the casino together. We don't even play. I play home games. But where we really shine is at the casino.

[B]

What casino do you go to?

[A]

You name it, I've been there. Commerce, the bike, Hollywood Park. If you look in my wallet, I'm, like, trying to take out a credit card. I have casino cards, like, flying out.

[B]

You've been to the Morong?

[A]

Oh, that. I haven't been to the Morongo.

[B]

You haven't been to the Morongo?

[A]

I haven't been to the Morongo.

[B]

Wow, that's shocking.

[A]

I'm meeting a lot of weird old men at the casino, and they are close friends of mine.

[B]

How much?

[A]

It's so embarrassing how many people I recognize when I go in all these. Every Filipino older man is my best friend.

[B]

That's great. What a community.

[A]

It's a community.

[B]

Have you won big before?

[A]

Yes, I've won big and I've lost big.

[B]

How much have you won?

[A]

Like 700.

[B]

That seems okay. I'm not gonna say that's big. I mean, that would be big for me.

[A]

I like low stakes, and I'm very. We call it nitty nitty, meaning I'm, like, a conservative player. So I'm not going in. I'm not trying to gamble.

[B]

Well, you're healthy. You're not a gambling addict.

[A]

Yes, I'm not trying to gamble. I'm trying to play sort of strategically. What's the most you've lost in one sitting? Yeah, like 600.

[B]

See, that would be, you know.

[A]

Oh, and I feel terrible about myself after, but it goes up and down. So, like, overall, I'm pretty even. That's why it is like, a stupid hobby. That's just sort of like stress relief.

[B]

If I lost $600, I would have to get a second job.

[A]

I mean, when I lose $600, it's always because I'm, like, really stressed. Out. And it's, like, healthy. Like, I go to play poker as a stress reliever, so, like, my boyfriend would take a long walk, and I'm, like, going all in on pocket twos. You know, it's like, not.

[B]

Do you think you'll ever try competitive poker?

[A]

You mean like a tournament? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you need a lot of time for a tournament. I like cash games because you can just go. And cash games are still competitive. You're playing against the team.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But cash games just mean you go in and out.

[B]

A tournament. You have to just. And can anybody show up to a tournament?

[A]

Yeah, I'd like to bring you.

[B]

I am the last person who will. The idea of even playing one game of poker is horrifying.

[A]

I mean, I. I love it so much. I am smiling maniacally the entire time. I'm smiling. Even when I'm losing money, I'm smiling.

[B]

That probably works in your favor.

[A]

I think so. Yeah.

[B]

Because no one can really tell what's going on in your mind.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, and I like. I have, like. I think one of my better qualities is I have a deep curiosity about other people.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Sometimes, you know, curiosity kills the cat.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So I meet really sort of interesting people at the poker table. Met a guy whose job was to clean up after dead bodies. Get rid of dead bodies.

[B]

Oh, that crime scene clean or just.

[A]

If I were to pass away here.

[B]

Oh, so he works for the morgue or something?

[A]

I guess he just. He was like, if the cops come, they're not the ones who come to take away the body, Right.

[B]

They have some guy in a suit. And did you learn anything about that whole situation? What does this. Did he have any tips?

[A]

I asked him, you know, actually, I was like, do you like the job? And he said something sort of moving about. Like, I like to treat. Like, really honor a body's last moments on earth. Like, I treat it with a lot of care.

[B]

So it was. He's.

[A]

And then I lost a dream job, $70, and left.

[B]

Was he a good poker player?

[A]

No, not particularly. I think I was a little. You know, I've met some guys on parole. I'm meeting a lot of interesting dudes.

[B]

Wow. Yeah, I. I don't mind blackjack, but not playing for money.

[A]

How do you play blackjack for no money?

[B]

Just my boyfriend and I will just play, you know, just. This is very rare, but. Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

There's just kind of a thrill of winning.

[A]

Yeah, no, I like crap.

[B]

Winning blackjack. Do you play blackjack at all?

[A]

Yeah, I like blackjack I like craps. I'm a gambler. It's my worst quality and best quality.

[B]

What's your favorite casino?

[A]

Well, I love Vegas. Okay, but if we're talking about la, well, this is when things are gonna get real freaky.

[B]

LA casino seems dark to me.

[A]

I like the food at the bicycle. I like the Kung Pao chicken at Hollywood Park. This is so time I'm spending at these casinos and at commerce. I like the action.

[B]

Oh, interesting. That seems like the most important thing.

[A]

For one would think.

[B]

Are you eating Kung Fow chicken while playing poker?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So there's like a plate of it?

[A]

Well, yeah. And yeah, I'm eating it. I never eat anything. You got any fork and knife? You can't eat anything with your hands, obviously, because you're touching the cards.

[B]

I didn't know you were allowed to eat during Pokemon poker.

[A]

Yeah, that's actually one of my favorite parts. It's like getting the casino food and eating it. People don't think that I can be a degenerate gambler because I'm five feet tall. They think something about that. They think I can't see over the chips.

[B]

I feel like short people are more likely to be degenerate gamblers. I feel like tall people don't need to. They've got it all. Tall people don't need to get. Or us short people are like, well, maybe this will fix everything. Yeah.

[A]

Like close to the ground. Do you like Las Vegas? Vegas?

[B]

No, absolutely not. I'm trying to be more careful about how I talk about any city because.

[A]

I feel like people will yell at you.

[B]

No, not so much that. I just feel like I grew up in a city that was the butt of every joke, you know? And I remember being like, well, there are good things about the city. I will say there's so many awful things about Las Vegas that maybe. Maybe they're for other people. It's not my cup of tea. I will say you do see the bottom of humanity there.

[A]

Sure. And I only ever spend like two or three days. Days.

[B]

Anyone who's in Las Vegas for more than three days, their life is ruined.

[A]

Yeah, Yeah. I swear.

[B]

Either during it or going there. And how long? Oh, you were there for three days.

[A]

Two days.

[B]

Two days.

[A]

And we went to a high end strip club.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Which I'd never been to. And that was disturbing. I thought there would be way more like joy and laughter. I don't know what I like, I was thinking it was gonna be like maybe more burlesque type, like Jumbo's Clown room. But I think because it was high end, the men were so grimly horny. I was waiting for, like, they felt.

[B]

Like they were owed something.

[A]

Grim, grimly. But I did see a woman take off her thong to reveal a smaller thong. And then she took off that thong, and there was an even smaller thong. So that made it all. That made it all worth it.

[B]

A thong on a thong.

[A]

A thong on a thong on a thong.

[B]

No, Vegas has. There's an apocalyptic prison city feel to it. That just doesn't really work for me. Yeah, there's, you know, there's a great tie rest restaurant I like there that, like. I wish it wasn't in that city, because I would go there.

[A]

What? How? Do you ever think about what you. How you would do in an apocalypse?

[B]

I would kill myself immediately.

[A]

Yeah. I don't like that question. And some people really take joy in being like, oh, I'll, like, grow cabbage, and I'll.

[B]

Why?

[A]

I'm a type 1 diabetic. I'm like, I need insulin. Like, just eat me first.

[B]

The absolute nightmare for you.

[A]

No, I mean, I'm not interested in. Also the. It's like every. Every boyfriend I've ever had is always like, I'll get you insulin. It's like, you.

[B]

No, you won't. No.

[A]

Like, what, are you gonna grind up the pancreas of a pig? Like, you're not.

[B]

What a confidence.

[A]

You're not gonna be helpful to me. Like, eat me. I don't like to imagine an apocalypse. I know it's getting closer and closer, but I'm.

[B]

No, I just feel like at that point, why bother? I like to camp for one night max.

[A]

Yeah. I'm not a big camper. I'd rather be in Vegas than on.

[B]

A camp, like, on the downhill slide towards, like, the. The end of the world. I would probably enjoy myself with some looting, et cetera.

[A]

You think you're gonna loot?

[B]

I would loot. Absolutely. I would loot now.

[A]

Okay. See, and I think I would be like. I would be like, come, let's play a game. I'm dealing cards.

[B]

No, I would be throwing a cinder block through a Best Buy window. Getting a new washing machine.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes sense.

[B]

I feel like that. That level of freedom, that anarchy would be fun for a minute.

[A]

Yeah, One minute.

[B]

And then it's like, okay, now it's all over. Throw me in a river.

[A]

I'm a bit of a. Minus the gambling. A bit of a goody two shoes.

[B]

Oh, interesting. Well, but see, that. As am I. I'm a very. I follow rules. But like to suddenly be like, well, who cares?

[A]

Yeah, you might be turn out to be the most evil man in the apocalypse, like after having followed all these rules.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. It's all pent up. Like I'm the ruler of Earth because I'm such an evil human.

[A]

Yeah, you demonic and no, I'd love.

[B]

To be in the grocery store just eating the food while I'm walking around.

[A]

Yeah, I mean that was my dream as a kid. To be like left alone at like Pavilion. What a sad.

[B]

There was something satisfying about the idea of like drinking a drink before you get to the checkout and then just paying for the can. Something like that, you know, they got.

[A]

Mad at my grandma. My boo boo, may she rest in peace. She was like in, in her 80s 90s for going through like the nuts and taking a few.

[B]

Oh, give me a break.

[A]

The grocery stor store guy came over and said, you can't do that. It's like this woman's like 88. You're not gonna let her eat a pistachio, a Jordan almond.

[B]

Let her sample a cashew.

[A]

Let her sample a cashew. It was so crazy.

[B]

Wow, that's really. I think she wasn't putting her hand in.

[A]

She was like taking it out with the. Even if she was putting her hand in. Come on.

[B]

Out of the bulk bins.

[A]

Out of the bulk bins. Literally.

[B]

I think that's for anyone of any age. They should be able to do that. One little find out if it's fresh. It may have been there for a long time.

[A]

Everything at cvs, you know, is under like lock and key. Now you gotta be like, excuse me, like, I need this deodorant.

[B]

I mean, if the Item is under $7, it should not be behind glass. Yeah, just let, let people steal it.

[A]

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[B]

Hey, everyone. Ed Helms here. And hi, I'm Cal Penn, and we're the hosts of Irsay The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club.

[A]

This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Jenny Garth, host of the iHeart podcast.

[B]

I choose to discuss the new Audible adaptation of the timeless Jane Austen classic Pride and Prejudice.

[A]

This is not a trick question.

[B]

There's no wrong answer. What role would I play?

[A]

You know what? I can see you as Mr. Darcy. You got a little Colin Firth.

[B]

Okay, that's really sweet. I appreciate that, but are you sure I'm not the dad? I'm not Mr. Bennett. Here. Listen to Earsay the Audible and iHeart.

[A]

Audiobook Club on the iHeartradio app or.

[B]

Wherever you get your podcasts. The cvs. I feel like that must cost them more money than they have to hire more employees or something to go let people into the glass.

[A]

One would think, you know, and they.

[B]

Have to pay for all of the glass.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it just makes it a mise. It was already such a miserable experience.

[A]

Let us enjoy.

[B]

Charge. The pharmacies should be doing something to make them more appealing, let alone forget it. Well, do you have any other hobbies planned?

[A]

Do I have any other hobbies planned? You know, I used to paint growing up.

[B]

You did?

[A]

Yeah, and I would like to take it up again.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I went to one pottery class.

[B]

All right.

[A]

But the instructor, like, did it all.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

So my bowl turned out so good, but I was to, like, the left of the instructor, and she kept coming and putting her hands on my bowl. But people get really into pottery.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Some people are very good at it. I'm not.

[A]

Do you have any hobbies?

[B]

No. I mean, I guess video games is kind of a hobby.

[A]

I'm, like, the worst kind of gamer because I play games on my phone.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Like, I'm such a fucking lord.

[B]

That's kind of gambling. Well.

[A]

Well, I mean, the games I'm playing are, like, bubble spinner. I'm not, like, spending money on them. But I. I'm on level three. 57. It's, like, so creepy.

[B]

And they're very slot machine coded.

[A]

They're just fun to, like, play while, like, you know, TLC Poly Family is on in the background. I was telling you I like this.

[B]

We were talking about TLC Poly Family.

[A]

If you haven't watched TLC Poly Family, I beg your listeners, and I beg.

[B]

You, I haven't watched it yet. Tlc. At some point, there's gonna be a reckoning for their producers.

[A]

Oh, I think already they're having trouble sleeping at night. They're tossing burning.

[B]

I think that they are.

[A]

I have insomnia.

[B]

They need it worse than Dark Soul. When you start pitching TLC reality shows, they're like carnival barkers.

[A]

Oh, I'm back on Married at First Sight, which is also kind of an interesting.

[B]

We. Oh, we OD'd on 90 Day Fiance during the pandemic.

[A]

I was watching that in during the pandemic, and something happens where it gets too dark.

[B]

Yeah. And you've just had so much of it. You're just like, oof. I don't know.

[A]

And then you're just like, there are. People are coming over to America to be with the scariest, ugliest man you've ever seen, and they have so much to lose and so little to gain that it becomes too difficult to continue watching. But I like when the women take advantage of the men.

[B]

Like, I, of course, when I love when there's somebody coming from another country and it's just some oaf. Of course. Like, yeah, you should be taken advantage of.

[A]

Yes, yes, yes.

[B]

You have the money. She knows what she's doing.

[A]

Yeah. I like when it's like some dumb guy and, like, a Russian woman is like, you have to give me all my. All your money.

[B]

I feel like we're probably talking about the same woman. I feel like they lived in Park La Brea. Do you remember that couple?

[A]

Yes, Yes.

[B]

I think that guy was a. Verbs.

[A]

I can't do a Russian accent.

[B]

But that was pretty good.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

I have boobs.

[A]

I need boobs. I need more purse.

[B]

She absolutely juiced that guy. Yes.

[A]

And he was just kind of like, is this a normal relationship? Like, you see him on Red Reddit being like, is this. Is it normal for your wife to yell at you? I need boobs. I need purses.

[B]

I think he was eventually arrested for something else.

[A]

That makes it like fraud.

[B]

Yeah, I'm sure it was fraud and fraud.

[A]

Some kind of vague fraud.

[B]

But I was. I was rooting for that mean Russian the entire time.

[A]

Come on. It's like, yeah, he kind of on him. Squish him.

[B]

I wonder where she is now.

[A]

I feel like I'm somebody who might accidentally commit fraud. I just did. My tax is really late, and I'm always sort of estimating. And my taxes are really confusing because I have to file a thing for everywhere I've done standup.

[B]

Oh. Oh, that's really.

[A]

I'M like, I definitely have done some kind of fraud, but hopefully no one's looking.

[B]

This show has a big IRS listenership, so.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

That sort of thing when you're freelancing is so scary.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

My. My tax guy. I'm just like, please be on top of this.

[A]

I'd love to meet your tax guy.

[B]

You know, he's in Chatsworth.

[A]

He's like, she gambles too much. That's what. Chatsworth.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Gambling. Do you have to report your.

[A]

I don't know if you're supposed. I don't do enough that I report it. Like, you know, and I'm pretty kind of.

[B]

I wonder how much you have to win gambling in order to report it. I bet the casino tells you, right? They're probably kind of on the board.

[A]

Watch me right now getting into trouble, like, realizing that I've been. I'm supposed to be reporting and I haven't. Yeah, definitely. If you win a big tournament, like, Christine plays in a big tournament and she won, like, 8k, I assume you have to.

[B]

That's a big.

[A]

Maybe it's like 10k. I don't know.

[B]

Christine's going to eventually win the world tournament.

[A]

We're going to bring you to the.

[B]

Casino and see, and I will be an absolute killjoy. You will be. You will regret every second I'm there. I can guarantee it. I was in the casino a couple months ago, and it was a miserable experience for me.

[A]

Which casino?

[B]

The one in Palm Springs.

[A]

Oh, not St. Morongo. Agua. Caliente.

[B]

Yes, yes, yes. My boyfriend was playing blackjack, and he enjoys gambling. And he. Since we had met, I think he had gambled once, like, 10 years ago. And I said, never again. And then this time that you want.

[A]

To go with him or never again that you can't.

[B]

I guess that he could, because I was like, you have to stop throwing him away. Not that he was like. Not that he had a problem, but he's like, this is a waste of time.

[A]

My boyfriend's just simply too afraid of me, too. I'm sure he wishes he could say, I need you to stop.

[B]

But this time he convinced me. He gave me $20, and I went and used the slot machines. Realized very quickly. I don't even know how to use a SL machine. And then lost all the money.

[A]

I told my boyfriend, because he had lost money, and he was like, in a. Like, he was upset about it. Like. And I go, you can't be around me if you're upset about losing money. Like, this. That vibe is not.

[B]

Of course. So do not bring me.

[A]

Yeah, no, I'm like, I need. I'm losing money. I'm smiling. Okay.

[B]

Because you're treating it as a game, not as a money making. Sure.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I would go into it thinking, I have to make money now. This is my job for the next two weeks.

[A]

And have I occasionally told people I was going to the library and then went to the casino instead? Yeah, and that's something. Again, Dr. Barbara, if you're listening, we can circle back to that. I don't think you're supposed to be lying about where you are.

[B]

Wait, what's your favorite casino in Vegas?

[A]

I like where I like to play poker. Is the Encore or the Wynn.

[B]

Never heard of the Encore.

[A]

Yeah, that's nice.

[B]

Vaguely familiar with the encore.

[A]

When they bring you the free drinks, I like that.

[B]

You see, that appeals to me.

[A]

But a free drink appeals.

[B]

But for me, it's a Diet Coke. Right. So it's like, just spend the $2.

[A]

Also fun, though, that free Diet Coke. I'm like, keep them coming.

[B]

How much do you have to gamble for them to start offering you free drinks?

[A]

You. If you just sit down at the table with any money they offer you. But I notice they kind of take a long time to bring you a drink.

[B]

Oh, of course.

[A]

They want you. Strategy, more money.

[B]

I mean, the psychology that they're using. I bet they have a whole team of psychologists working.

[A]

And the amount of verbal abuse that these women. I mean, like, sexual harassment. These women take from the men at the table who are like, sweetie, come on, sweetie, whatever. I don't know. I made him from, like, New Jersey. That's me, too. When I sit at the table, I'm like, like, sweetie, sweetie, sweetie, can you hurry up? That Bailey's on ice. Like, ordering the weirdest.

[B]

Oh, you are living my hell. I don't know how you do it, but, yeah, hobbies. I was rock climbing for a minute. I need to get back into that.

[A]

Is that scary?

[B]

Not indoors. Not for me. At least I think so.

[A]

Because you have a cord.

[B]

No, I was bouldering, so you don't have a cord. Wow. But you're only at max, like, 25ft in the air. At one point, I was like. I had gotten to, like, a maybe mid to high level, and I decided to film it on my phone. And I filmed it, like, me getting to the top.

[A]

Like, you put it on a.

[B]

Propped it up against my water bottle.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I filmed the whole thing, and it was difficult. I got to the top and Got down and then I watched out my phone. I was like, this is. I can't. I can never show anyone this. This is so embarrassing.

[A]

What was embarrassing about it?

[B]

Because it's like I climbed like 15ft into the air.

[A]

You're like, yeah.

[B]

While doing it, it's like, this is so difficult. This is so impressive. And then you watch it. You're like, this is maybe two and a half times my height. If I were to fall to the ground, I might be sore the next day.

[A]

You know, I pole vaulted in high school.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yes. And I was so bad at it. I was not allowed to participate in any of the meets.

[B]

Who told you you weren't allowed to participate?

[A]

They were just like, you're. Like, you're not even going to make it. Like, I could only make it over the first thing, which is five feet. So I could essentially vault over myself if I was, like, coming to attack myself. And I had a stick and. But I remember thinking, when you're in the air flying over, you feel like you're soaring.

[B]

Of course you're soaring.

[A]

And then someone had taken a video of me, and it looks so small compared to what other people are doing. Cause they're vaulting over, like, 6ft and 7ft and 8ft.

[B]

And how does that. I've never really. I've never tried it. You stick the. In the ground and then it kind of.

[A]

And then you. But it really is, like, your form. So, like, the best girl on the team was, like, tiny and didn't have big upper body strength, but she had the right form. But if you're like a strong guy, you can kind of just vault yourself. I could do neither. I was just, like, poking people in the butts with the sticks, like, having fun.

[B]

What drew you to it then?

[A]

You didn't have to try out, and I needed to finish a PE credit.

[B]

I can't believe you didn't have to try out for that. That seems like one that's kind of dangerous.

[A]

No track. They were like. At my high, they were just kind of like, what do you want to do? And track. Originally I wanted to throw the discus. And they told me I was too weak. They were like, you gotta weigh more than the discus. You know, I'm five feet. So then I was like, what else can I do where I don't have to run? And they were like, how. Why don't you try pole vault?

[B]

Do you think you could pole vault now at any level?

[A]

You know, that's a friend. Just was like, do you still pole vault? And I was like, it's not only something you do, like, as a leisure activity.

[B]

You have to go buy. What is this thing called? Is a stick? Oh, the pole.

[A]

The pole. Yeah. Like, you get the pole, you need some pads. You need to find the.

[B]

Yeah. I feel like that would be a practical skill to have in some regard if you're running away from someone trying to escape.

[A]

If we're in the apocalypse.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. Pole vaulting away from, like, a horde of people.

[A]

Yeah. Should we take that up as a hobby?

[B]

I wouldn't mind trying it.

[A]

Do you have any other hobbies besides rock climbing?

[B]

No. I play three chords on the guitar. I was thinking about buying a bass guitar. I think I could probably handle a bass.

[A]

Are they three chords that can get you far?

[B]

No, because I'm not good enough at even forming the chords. I was trying to learn to play this song, Sea of Heartbreak. Do you know that song by Don Gibson? Wonderful song.

[A]

I believe you.

[B]

And I think I kind of began getting there, then got frustrated and gave it up.

[A]

I have a really stupid question.

[B]

What?

[A]

How many chords are there?

[B]

Ooh, there. I mean, there's so many chords. There's one for each note. You know, each note has multiple chords around it. Major, minor, all sorts of chords. So. Annalise, do you have any idea how many chords.

[A]

Okay, edit this out. I sound like.

[B]

Keep this in. We're learning.

[A]

Mentally ill woman. Honestly, I. I think the limit does not exist because you have, like, you. You not only have major and minor, you also have, like, dominant and, like, sus. You're telling me there's infinity chords? I mean, as many. I mean, I'd have to look up one of those, like, equations where you type in how many notes and then how many. Because you can put, like, seven notes in a chord if you really wanted to. So, like, you think about how many notes there are, and then you combine those notes with other notes. I don't know.

[B]

It just, like, it starts stacking sounds.

[A]

It's occurring to me now. I've never known what a cordis.

[B]

Have you never played anything music?

[A]

I played piano growing up, but not. Well.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And I.

[B]

But anytime you put more than two or more notes, I guess I knew that those are chords, but chords, Yeah, I can play three, and that's kind of. Technically, I should be able to play a lot of songs, but I'm just. My finger. The finger strength isn't there.

[A]

We gotta work out your fingers.

[B]

But I think with a bass, I think I could probably figure that out. Because you're Playing one note at a time.

[A]

Can you. Do you need to be in a band to play the bass guitar, or can you just kind of do it alone?

[B]

You could play it alone. I think eventually you'd be like, I need some other things going on that's like, drummers.

[A]

I'm like, a drummer is hard to.

[B]

Like drum alone, but a drum solo, when done well, is kind of fun.

[A]

Sure. But if you're, like, only ever drumming alone, that seems, like, quite lonely.

[B]

You're just. Yeah, you're kind of there. Solitary guitar. I feel like you can play a large chunk of a song.

[A]

I got a lot of questions about the drums.

[B]

Like what? How do they decide how many are in a kit?

[A]

No. Well, how do they decide, like, how to play it and in what way? I don't know. To me, the drums seem really like. You get to improvise.

[B]

Yeah. You can really, I mean, make up your own beat, I guess.

[A]

Yeah. I'm realizing now I dated a drummer for a while, never really asked him a question about it. It's occurring to me you had no.

[B]

Interest in his life at all.

[A]

I better call him up and say, why didn't I ask you about how do you decide about the drumming?

[B]

I think eventually, if I gave it my all, I could play the drums. But it requires a lot of.

[A]

Because you're a musical person.

[B]

I think I just listen to a lot of music, and I think I have a decent natural rhythm, but that could be wrong, and I don't want.

[A]

To fight for that. You have to be on a desert island with one record that you're gonna play over and over and over again.

[B]

Oh, that's such a difficult question to answer. Oh, my God. I don't know.

[A]

I guess I'll let you think about it and text me.

[B]

I would like to. You have to have something that won't get old too quick that you can.

[A]

Listen to over and over and over again.

[B]

Do you know what an album that I think is between a pop album and more experimental is? David Bowie's Low. And it's like, I think there's enough there that it could probably sustain you for a while on a Disney album.

[A]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[B]

What about you?

[A]

I have such a terrible taste in music. I'm like, that's fine. I only listen to, like, Joni Mitchell.

[B]

And, like, that's not terrible.

[A]

Ja Rule.

[B]

Great.

[A]

I guess, like, Natural Combination. Not. I'm like, I guess maybe I. You like a Lauren Hill Miseducation.

[B]

That's a good album.

[A]

90S and early 2000s R&B and Jody and like folk music. I'm all over the place.

[B]

I think that you could end up with a great Joni Mitchell album. Would be good on a desert.

[A]

Yeah, maybe I'd take like a Joni Mitchell.

[B]

Okay. Bad taste. Give me a break.

[A]

Yeah, come on.

[B]

Best of. I don't think you could do best of.

[A]

I don't know, you tell me.

[B]

That's like saying you just want a. Like a compilation of chapters from different books.

[A]

Okay, Best of Books. That's what I should have brought you.

[B]

Okay. I think we should play a game. We're going to play a game called Gift or a Curse. But I need a number between one and 10 from you.

[A]

Six.

[B]

Okay. I have to do some light calculating to get our game pieces. So right now you can promote, recommend, do whatever you want. I'll be right back.

[A]

Okay. My debut novel is out at every bookstore. It's called First Time, Long Time Time through Grand Central Publishing Hachette. First Time Long Time. It was at airports for a while. It was on the airport bookshelves. But it's no longer a new release. Now it's like a five month old release, but you could still find it.

[B]

That's great. Everybody should get it. I love it.

[A]

Everybody should get Barnes and Noble. That's the bookstore.

[B]

I say.

[A]

I don't know why I would say that.

[B]

Go support your Barnes and Noble.

[A]

No, no, go to your local, local bookstore. I love to see it in bookstores. So send me a picture when you see it.

[B]

I think that's such a beautiful title.

[A]

Thank you. I'm a radio. It has a radio component. So first time listener for some caller. Long time listener. First time, Long time.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

And here we are kind of on the radio.

[B]

Did it take you a long time to get to that title?

[A]

Yeah, I like sent a bunch of titles to the editors and my agents as we were trying to sell it to my agents first before we sold it. And this was the one we all liked the best. They also sent me. You know what's interesting is the COVID They sent me a lot of really ugly covers.

[B]

It's got a great cover.

[A]

And we settled on something kind of. Yeah. Like fun and graphic.

[B]

Stands out. Cause there's a lot of book cover design that kind of just blurs together.

[A]

This cover. Yeah, yeah. I like a graphic cover. And you just hope that someone will walk by and like pick it up.

[B]

All right, what's your favorite book?

[A]

Oh, God. The book that made me want to be a writer when I was in College Middlemarch by George Eliot.

[B]

I've never read it.

[A]

Really? It's long, and it's sort of a study in what it means to be alive. My favorite book of the month, I would say, is beauty land. My favorite book of this month. That's not. Spin it.

[B]

All right, this is how I play. Gift or a curse. I'm going to name three things you're going to tell me if they're a gift or a curse and why. Then I'll tell you if you're right or wrong. Because there are correct answers.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And there's a good chance you'll lose the game if you're not careful. All right, this first one is from Patreon listener Caitlin Gift or a curse? Posting a photo of all of your Christmas gifts.

[A]

Curse.

[B]

Why?

[A]

Because, like, we've seen on so many reality TV shows, if you show all the stuff, you someone will break in and steal them.

[B]

Has this happened on a reality show before?

[A]

I don't know. Like, dorit. You know, we also saw it recently on selling sunset. Someone broke into Mary's house and stole her stuff. So you're asking for it. If you're showing, like, look at all this stuff I have. Why not someone break in and take it and it might be you because you're a looter.

[B]

I am a future looter.

[A]

You're a future looter. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Wrong.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That's a gift, and you're kind of illustrating that by. You should let me know what you have in your house. Everyone should know what everyone has in each other's houses in case you need to take it or steal it. I don't want to break into a house with no knowledge of what's in there.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

I'm not just going to break into any strangers. I'm going to find somebody that trusts me.

[A]

You break into my house. You see my dad's paint by number paintings.

[B]

Oh, it's basically the Lou's heist. No, I want to know what's in your house. It'll be a friend or a family member. I'll break into their home. I've seen their Christmas haul on Instagram. I've got my Santa's bag or reverse Santa.

[A]

I've never seen anyone post what they've gotten.

[B]

I have to imagine I have. That feels like something that's someone I don't respect.

[A]

I know about people posting them and their whole family all in the matching page pajamas.

[B]

That's actually a very layered thing because I feel like there was probably a point when it wasn't done ironically. And that was fun to look at because it was like, what's going on in this family?

[A]

Sure.

[B]

And now. But now there's, like, every family trying to go viral.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you remember the pajama family? That was, like, on YouTube.

[A]

I know, but it's so wild to be known as the pajama family.

[B]

It was like this YouTube family that is. Everything they ever produced was the worst. Just worse and worse and worse. They were, like, rapping about. I think they did parody songs about being in pajamas and the holidays. It was excruciating to. Maybe I'll break into their house. Okay.

[A]

Take their pajamas.

[B]

Yeah. You've gotten one wrong so far. Big deal. This next one is from Patreon listener Alex Gift. Or a curse. Lo fi or any other. All instrumental versions of hit songs.

[A]

I'm gonna say gift.

[B]

Why?

[A]

I like that kind of stuff to write to, like. I like no lyrics. And now do I write to it? Maybe I've done it once, but I like the idea of it of, like, a lo fi. No lyrics thing. Is that what lo fi means? I'm realizing I'm not sure I know the definition.

[B]

I don't want to correct listener Alex, but I feel like unless this is just kind of one of those words that's now just taken on new Lo fi, I would assume is just, like, the recording is not as high quality, you know? But I think what Alex is saying here is just purely instrumental.

[A]

That I like, but bad quality. No, I don't like that. That's a curse.

[B]

But you have to choose one or the other.

[A]

Okay, I'll still go with gift.

[B]

Okay. Wrong.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

This is a curse. This for me. I like to hear instrumental music, but I don't. This is gonna drive me insane. Because often it's just me thinking, what song is this? What is the lyric? It's something that just is taking up brain power for me, and I think it's a waste of everyone's time.

[A]

Are you good at Name that tune?

[B]

I'm pretty good at it.

[A]

That's a game I hate. And when someone wants to play Name that tune, I want to take out a weapon. Like, I'm not going to be able to name a single tune. So I do hear that. That's frustrating.

[B]

How do you play Name that tune? Do you play? Do they play the actual song or do they play.

[A]

They did it at, like, a wedding shower recently where they only played a little bit of the instrumental. And then everybody had to kind of write down what the song was. And I just eventually set down my pen. I was like, I'm not participating in this. Like, I can't get a single one. I don't seem to know what's going on.

[B]

I get so competitive at narrative.

[A]

Okay, okay.

[B]

And I. Well, I haven't played it in a long time, but I think I would be pretty good at it. They did the whole. Jane Krakowski was hosting something like that. Yes.

[A]

They had a show, but they would.

[B]

Play it, like, on the piano. And I don't think I could do that that way.

[A]

I'm gonna bring you to a casino where they have named that too. That casino doesn't exist.

[B]

That casino will ruin me. All of my money will be gone. Okay, so you've gotten two wrong so far. Everyone's rooting against you. This final one is from Patreon listener Casey. Gift or a curse? Cake with black sl. Dark icing.

[A]

Gift.

[B]

Why?

[A]

I like chocolate, and I think it'll make me think that it's gonna be a chocolate cake. I also. I enjoyed the time on the Internet that was. Is it cake?

[B]

Oh, sure. Like, 35 seconds.

[A]

Yeah. And I think it would be cool to wonder, like, is this a block of coal or is it, like, a cake? So I'm gonna go gift.

[B]

No, Amy, you've completely lost the game. Wrong. No, no, no. This is purely. I need a cake just. Just to be good. I don't need it to look good. I don't need it to look stylish or interesting.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

What is the black element doing? Just making it look dramatic. Who cares? And it's like, what are we putting? Is that ash? What is the.

[A]

Let me ask you a question. I've actually really been wondering.

[B]

What.

[A]

What is red velvet? Like what?

[B]

Red velvet is a waste of everyone's time. It's a lot of cocoa. I mean, it's cocoa, but then a ton of red dye.

[A]

But does it taste. Is it supposed to taste like chocolate cake?

[B]

Well, it's.

[A]

Or is it a different flavor?

[B]

See, that's a good question, because I think it doesn't taste enough like chocolate. Chocolate. And it does something weird to your brain where you're like, I don't know what this is supposed to taste like. Is this supposed to taste like.

[A]

It tastes like red.

[B]

Yeah. And then it has cream cheese frosting, which I think is more of the flavor.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I'm glad we put that. We left that in 2012.

[A]

You know, I haven't seen a lot of red velvet for quite some time.

[B]

It took over for a period.

[A]

People Were chomping down on red velvet, and nobody.

[B]

It was no one's favorite cake.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

It's just a ton of red dye. Yeah. Feels like something. RFK would have a real issue.

[A]

I mean, if he could do one useful thing, it's to outlaw red velvet cake. Because you and I don't understand that. Do one thing that's nice for us.

[B]

Well, you got none. Correct. And that's fine.

[A]

And what will happen to me?

[B]

You're just gonna live with that shame?

[A]

Okay. Okay.

[B]

Add it to the pile.

[A]

Guilty, ashamed, thoughtful, talented. That's the acronym I say to my therapist that I think about myself. Guilty, ashamed, thoughtful. Talent. You can definitely take that gat.

[B]

Anneliese now has their own gift or a curse. And we're going to speak to this. Anneliese will name a thing, and we each have to say it, and then they have their answer. Annalise, gift or a curse.

[A]

When someone replaces your toilet paper but puts it the wrong side up, do.

[B]

You want to go or should I go?

[A]

You go.

[B]

I think that's a gift. I don't understand this. I truly don't understand that anyone has a preference about where the toilet paper should. Which direction it should go. I have never noticed. Oh, this is the wrong way. It just doesn't. It's a role, and I. It can go one or the other way. It's not that confusing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I think it's a gift. I think every. Anyone that has an issue with this, find something else to complain about.

[A]

Yeah. You think they're all sort of walking curses. Everyone who has a problem.

[B]

Yes. I just. I just think this is. It's an invented issue.

[A]

Okay, well, you said gift.

[B]

I think it's a gift. And I think that people need to.

[A]

Quit complaining about it's a gift because they can find out why they're so uptight.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's a gift to take with them.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I'm gonna have to go curse. So I can say the opposite from my competitive spirit. And I think it's a curse. Because how have we not, in 2025, found just a different way of toilet papering? Like, a different sort of maybe dispenser, a different, like, less. I don't know. There have been a lot of innovations in a lot of different industries, and toilet paper is one of those that has really, I think, stayed or.

[B]

It's a perfect product.

[A]

Oh, you think it hasn't evolved?

[B]

Toilet paper is a perfect product yet.

[A]

And I think it needs to evolve. I'm not sure what I Don't have any suggestions, but I think some of the greatest minds in, in our world could maybe think about toilet paper. And I know in other countries they do the bidet.

[B]

No. Yeah, Every other country basically on the planet.

[A]

So maybe that maybe, I don't know.

[B]

That'S kind of coming back into the United States. I think coming back.

[A]

I think it used to occur and it's.

[B]

Or maybe not coming back or finally arriving.

[A]

It's finally arriving.

[B]

Yeah. I read an article about it recently, like why Americans have a problem with bidets.

[A]

And see now that's kind of an issue with where journalists journalism is that someone's like, I gotta write an article.

[B]

That's hard hitting journalism. Annelise, what do you think?

[A]

It's a curse.

[B]

Okay, I'm sorry.

[A]

It's a curse.

[B]

Cut. Cut their mic.

[A]

No, I'm in control now. Okay, cut your own mic. So first of all, there is a correct way. There is a correct way, but that's not that, that isn't the issue here. The issue here for me is that if you have the access to my toilet paper and you're replacing it, either you've had to like walk out of the bathroom without pants on and grab toilet paper from my cupboard or something, right? You're like rifling through my things. Or now you've replaced the toilet. Maybe I had toilet paper in the bathroom ready to go, like backups and you've replaced it the wrong way. Now I have more work to do.

[B]

What is the correct way? Top.

[A]

It's on the top.

[B]

Who cares?

[A]

Do you agree with me that there could be innovation? There should be innovation. I, I think that, you know, I agree in the sense that, one, I think that, you know, it's one of those untapped markets that clearly has more room to grow. And two, I agree with you just so that I can disagree with Bridger. So there you go.

[B]

We've got to get something for me to pull the plug in here. Put that on your. Anyway. Okay, we need to answer a listener question. People are writing in or sending voicemail voice notes to isaidnowgiftsmail.com the voice note listener has to be 60 seconds or under and has to be in a quiet place. I believe you can do that. What are we going to do, Anneliese? Are we listening to a voice note?

[A]

Hello, Bridger and disrespectful guest. My name is Sarah. I'm hoping for some advice. My sibling and I both work in professional theater across the country for from each other and my Sibling is about to embark on their first national tour as part of the crew, and the whole family is literally buzzing. I'm so excited for them. I work as a local in wardrobe crew at a theater where touring companies come through. So I know from meeting those folks that most of them don't want to schlep an unnecessary amount of stuff with them from city to city. My Sibling show is going to be in my area around Christmas, though, so I'm trying to come up with the perfect tour appropriate gift for them. Bridger, I know that Jim is a performer, so you might have some insight into what can kinds of experiences or things that a person on tour might want or need. My best thought so far is just to take them to a nice dinner while they're in my area. But I'd love to know if you have any better ideas. And I thank you so much. Love the show.

[B]

Bye. Okay.

[A]

What an interesting family that everyone's.

[B]

Yeah. It's in their jeans. It's in the blood to tour. They're all running from something. Not a. Not a great family. You know, they hate each other. They're all dodging cities and they got.

[A]

To be on stage or behind the.

[B]

Stage helping with wardrobe and a lot of control issues. More attention.

[A]

Sure, sure.

[B]

Interesting. And now they're having this confrontation during the holiday.

[A]

A real Macbeth situation. Is that the one where one.

[B]

Let's see. Macbeth is with the evil wife? Right, Macbeth.

[A]

You think all play about evil wives. Do you think all women in theater are evil?

[B]

I think women in general are kind of a problem.

[A]

Sure, sure, sure. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

No, but Lady Macbeth is very.

[A]

Yeah, she's.

[B]

She's pulling the strings and she's little. But these two siblings are running into each other during the holidays. They probably don't want to. And now this sibling is saying, maybe I'll take this sibling out to Burger King, but might want some other ideas. What do you give someone who's traveling all the time who might have to pick up in the middle of the night and go.

[A]

A boomerang because it always comes.

[B]

Some sort of weapon.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I think. Yeah. Maybe the siblings out on the road, the open road. And they might have to defend themselves at some point. Some sort of knife. Hunting knife.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Switchblade. They can hide in their back pocket.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Actually now I'm thinking one of those multi tools, like a Swiss army knife. Swiss army knife.

[A]

They always have like a nail clipper.

[B]

And a Swiss army knife is very gay. It's, isn't it? I'm just getting to that it's like a manicure kit.

[A]

Oh, and the boy scouts in my neighborhood, boy, did they love showing their manicure kids around.

[B]

Yeah, it's. We're just. We're getting into something there with the Swiss army knife. Interesting. You can file your nails, you can clip your nails.

[A]

You can open your Sprite.

[B]

You can open your Sprite.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Weapon would be nice. A canteen.

[B]

A canteen. Interesting. You're really picturing this person kind of in a Mad Max situation or just.

[A]

Like going like you go on tour, you know, when you have those, like a stick and then your pillowcase tied and that's where you're.

[B]

Oh, a bindle.

[A]

A bindle.

[B]

Oh, a bindle's a great.

[A]

How is there not bindle? That's what that's called.

[B]

Somebody needs to disrupt the bindle industry.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, why have we not seen, like, purses on the designer runways as bindles?

[B]

That feels like something that. That's an untapped category.

[A]

I just keep thinking of this. Like, they're. They're touring, they're on the open road.

[B]

Right. They're like essentially on the back of a Harley.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they're.

[A]

Or, you know, you ever try to run away when you were a kid and you always got just like down to the end of the street?

[B]

Oh, yeah. I would get up the hill and then I would open and realize I had brought like a one cupcake.

[A]

I would get to the open, get to the top of the hill, waiting for someone to come find me.

[B]

Oh, it's an attention seeking painting.

[A]

I. Yeah. So that. A passive aggressive attention. Instead of being like, I, you hurt my feelings. You didn't pay attention to me. It's like, I'll show now.

[B]

I'll show you.

[A]

And I still do that in my day to day.

[B]

Several people think you're missing.

[A]

Right.

[B]

There's a search party looking for you.

[A]

Yes. My students won't answer questions. I'm like, I'm leaving. They're like, good.

[B]

Well, yeah, I think a weapon and a bindle, that'll get this sibling on a new path. Certainly.

[A]

Cause you heard the competitive spirit between them.

[B]

Right.

[A]

The sibling rivalry of like, the two of us can't be touring theater company people.

[B]

So you're kind of suggesting a knife fight, perhaps. Interesting. A Christmas knife fight, perhaps.

[A]

Yeah. A succession type, sort of.

[B]

I think that could bring them together ultimately.

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

I think that's. You got your question. I don't know what more you could ask for. Do not send any more voice notes to me and tell your sibling. They're. We answered the question perfectly.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

I now have this gorgeous piece of art that you are just throwing away. Larry did such a great job.

[A]

I wish that he had signed it.

[B]

I have a Larry Silverberg sort of original.

[A]

And the next time I see you, I will be giving you a book to read.

[B]

Okay, I'll get a book. Maybe two.

[A]

Maybe some poker chips.

[B]

Poker chips. While you're enriching my life in a way that no one else has ever done.

[A]

And I want you to become a degenerate guy gambler.

[B]

Good luck.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Well, thank you for being here.

[A]

Thank you for having me listener.

[B]

The podcast is over. I have. I think I've said everything I need to say to you for today. So get moving. I love you. Goodbye. I said no Gifts is an exactly right production. Our senior producer is Annalise Nelson and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Tolliday. The theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann. And we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cotner. You must follow the show on Instagram at I saidnogifts. That's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see the gifts.

[A]

The clear when you're a guest in my home, you got to come to me empty handed. I said no guils. Your presence is presence enough. And I already had too much stuff. So how do you dare disobey me?

[B]

Ah, greetings from my bath festive friends.

[A]

The holidays are overwhelming, but I'm tackling this season with PayPal and making the.

[B]

Most of my money.

[A]

Getting 5% cash back when I pay in 4. No fees, no interest. I use it to get this portable spa with jets. Now the bubbles can cling to my.

[B]

Sculpted but pruny body.

[A]

Make the most of your money this holiday with PayPal. Save the offer in the app ends.

[B]

12:31 see paypal.com promoter terms can be redeemed for cash and more paying for subject to terms and approval.

[A]

PayPal Inc. And MLS 910457 want Black Friday prices without the crowds. Lowe's gets it. Shop their early Black Friday deals and beat the rush. $99 is all you need to grab a select 7 foot pre lit artificial Christmas tree for the home holidays. And don't sweat what gives to get dad. They have up to 40% off select tools and accessories going on now. That's how Lowe's celebrates Black Friday. Early selection varies by location while supplies last.

[B]

What a matchup.

[A]

We got, y'. All.

[B]

This is that classic HBCU vibe. Non stop action. The band is rocking and the crowd lit. Chance echo drum beat, everybody. Showing that school crowd a game like this. Yeah, it calls for an ice cold Coca Cola. Ah. Crisp and refreshing. That's a game changer right there. Yeah, that taste always hits the right note. Just like the band at halftime. And just like that, we're back at it. Passionate fans, school colors everywhere and an ice cold Coca Cola. That's a winning combo no matter the.

[A]

Sweet sport, no matter the yard Everybody.

[B]

Knows fan work is thirsty work so grab a Coca Cola and keep that HBCU pride going.