Maria Thayer and Tien Tran Ruin Bridger's Holiday Season

Summary

Podcast Summary: “Maria Thayer and Tien Tran Ruin Bridger’s Holiday Season”

Podcast: I Said No Gifts! with Bridger Winegar
Episode Date: December 18, 2025
Guests: Maria Thayer and Tien Tran

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Overview

This festive (and chaotic) holiday episode finds host Bridger Winegar in a Tiny Tim costume, enduring network demands and “snow” machines, as he welcomes returning favorites Maria Thayer and Tien Tran. The three dive into the stress of holiday logistics, family dynamics, childhood jobs, fast food secrets, absurd gift exchanges, and the glory (or not) of Arby’s, all while unwrapping gifts and riffing about the weirdness of adulthood. The tone is irreverent, confessional, and quick-witted, with the trio providing both laughs and insight into the messy reality beneath holiday cheer.

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Key Discussion Points & Memorable Moments

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1. Opening Antics & Holiday Costumes

• Tiny Tim Required: Bridger describes a network-mandated costume (Tiny Tim, “mid-thigh skirt” he deems “flammable velvet”), threatening walkouts if not provided with a snow machine.
  • “The network kind of said, if you don’t wear it, the podcast will be canceled, the masters will be destroyed.” (01:23)
• Maria's attempt to be festive is met with Bridger’s theatrical scorn.

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2. Holiday Stress, Family Dynamics & the Power of Children

• Maria & Tien on Holiday Logistics:
  • Maria admits, “All I want to do is get into a fight with someone. So if I get into a fight with either one of you, it’s because [the meds] haven’t kicked in yet.” (08:02)
• Surprise Visits Gone Wrong: Tien’s sister wants to surprise their parents with a week-long visit, leading to a discussion on the ethics and chaos of surprise family stays.
  • “You can’t surprise someone at their house for a whole week. That’s a husband and two kids.” (08:59)
• Children Change Holidays:
  • Bridger observes, “Having children’s a real power move, especially during the holidays…Then everyone has to come to you.” (13:37)
  • Maria: “Now the kids are the most important thing about the holiday, which is fine. I mean, I love my nieces.” (12:36)

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3. Burbank: The Podcast’s Spiritual Center

• All three light up talking about Burbank’s airport, shopping, and suburban energy.
  • Maria: “I love Burbank so much. Fantastic airport.” (14:43)

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4. On Fast Food: Employment, Privileges, and Beef Mysteries

• Maria’s Arby’s Past:
  • “My first day there, my friend threw me a meat… it was like sort of gelatin.”
  • Bridger: “What I heard is that the meat comes as a liquid.”
  • Maria: “That’s…yes, it does.” (24:45)
• Tien’s Barbecue Job:
  • Worked at Damon’s BBQ, serving “full racks of ribs…on a huge tray. I don’t have upper body strength.” (34:41)

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5. Arby’s, Menu Oddities, & the Loss of LA’s Last Cowboy Hat

• Nostalgic (and sometimes grossed-out) reminiscing about Arby's menu items, including the mythical onion petals (confirmed as real, now discontinued).
  • Tien: “They were a popular discontinued side dish featuring lightly battered, petal-shaped onion wedges.” (34:01)
• Mourning the cowboy hat neon sign from the last LA Arby’s.
  • “They should preserve that or something. That should be put on top of Netflix.” (19:22)
• The confusion of corporate branding changes—Hampton Inn becoming "Hampton" and the failed “Mervyn’s California” rebrand.
  • Bridger: “Rough name for any clothing business, Dress Barn.” (23:17)

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6. Gift Exchange: Fork Dilemmas & Retro Recipe Books

• Maria’s Gift: Box of 12 dinner forks, inspired by her chronic shortage at home.
  • Maria: “I have two forks in my house…constantly fishing them out.” (41:17)
• Tien’s Gift: A 1950s pamphlet, “Meats for Men,” full of odd beef recipes (“stuffed pork chops with banana sauté”).
  • Bridger: “Whenever one of us is making a beef dish, we’ll…do a veal broil?” (64:13)
• Discussion on Kitchen Gadgets:
  • The KitchenAid stand mixer: “I feel like if you have a KitchenAid mixer you should be using it once a quarter.” - Tien (49:03)
  • Cuisinart vs. KitchenAid, and Bridger’s nightly ritual of baking a single frozen cookie with milk.

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7. Food Preferences: Cheese, Treats, and Childhood Exposure

• Tien on learning to enjoy cheese after a Vietnamese upbringing.
• Maria is a cheese omnivore: “Any cheese at all.” (53:28)
• Bridger’s nightly treat ritual: “I will make the dough, turn it into balls, freeze it, and then bake myself one cookie every night.” (81:51)

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8. Lucid Dreaming (or Not) & the Comfort of Surrender

• Maria: “When I’m dreaming about somebody trying to kill me, I purposely run towards them…so I can…get it over with.” (58:33)
• Bridger's lament at being unable to lucid dream, and trying (and failing) dream journals. (59:44)

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9. Game Segment: Gift or a Curse

• The trio plays a game pronouncing holiday objects “gift” or “curse”—with heated, comedic debate.
  • Cinnamon Scented Pinecones:
    • Maria: “Curse. Pinecones already smell good enough.” (73:52)
    • Bridger: Correct answer is GIFT, because the smell can act as a hazard alert.
  • White Elephant Gift Exchange:
    • Tien & Maria: “Gift” (75:14)
    • Bridger: “Wrong! …I drive home from every white elephant exchange in tears.” (76:50)
  • Vegan Eggnog:
    • Tien: “Curse. Some things don’t need a vegan version.”
    • Bridger: “It’s a gift. This is the only way I’ll drink my eggnog.” (80:15)

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10. Listener Advice: Gifts for a Loved One in Recovery

• Emily asks how to get her family to stop giving her husband (newly in recovery) bottles of alcohol.
  • Tien suggests: “You should…just pick the non-alcoholic drinks that you think your husband will like and send them to [your family]…Already have it picked out.” (87:42)
  • Maria & Bridger express empathy (and some fatalism)—not every family problem can be solved in a holiday season.

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11. Final Gift Exchange: The Host Gives Back

• Bridger gives Maria The Wire (Season 1, DVD) and Tien “God of War III” for PlayStation 3, both ironically thoughtful.
  • Tien: “You had a big red stripe across your face. In the end, there will only be chaos.” (90:56)
• A Trader Joe’s receipt and a story about using pumpkin for dog diarrhea cap the exchange.

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12. Holiday Sentiments and Sign-Off

• The three reminisce about “Older Drivers Safety Awareness Week”—Bridger’s favorite holiday.
  • “Happy Older Drivers Awareness Week. That’s at the beginning of December…find some more older drivers and make sure they’re safe.” (93:12)
• Snow machines, jokes about Tiny Tim being a grifter, and closing holiday wishes.

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Notable Quotes & Timestamp Highlights

On crossing family boundaries:

• “You can’t surprise someone at their house for a whole week. That’s a husband and two kids.” — Tien (08:59)

On holiday logistics:

• “Having children’s a real power move, especially during the holidays…They’ve got us all hostage.” — Bridger (13:37)

On fast food trauma:

• “My first day there, my friend threw me a meat… it was sort of gelatin.” — Maria (25:00)
• “What I heard is the meat comes as a liquid.” — Bridger (24:44)

On gifts they truly need:

• “I can’t keep forks in my house… I have two forks and so many knives.” — Maria (41:17)
• “Tricks with leftovers. We can get a baked meat puff, a meat and cheese sandwich broil.” — Bridger, on “Meats for Men” (65:25)

On end-of-day rituals:

• “Every night a cookie unless I run out, then I’ll always have a backup of like frozen something.” — Bridger (82:27)

Bonus absurdity:

• “Meet my love would be good. Arby’s slogan.”—Bridger (47:25)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:23 | Bridger’s Tiny Tim getup and show intro
• 07:38 | Holiday logistics & family visits
• 12:36 | Kids take over the holidays
• 14:43 | Loving the Burbank airport
• 24:44 | Arby’s meat as slime: revelation
• 34:01 | Onion petals—confirmed!
• 41:17 | Maria’s fork shortage disclosure
• 49:03 | Realistic use for a KitchenAid mixer
• 64:13 | “Meats for Men” cookbook unwrapping
• 73:23 | Gift or a curse: cinnamon pine cones
• 81:51 | Bridger’s nightly single-cookie ritual
• 87:42 | Listener mail: gifts for recovering loved one
• 90:30 | Bridger gifts Tien “God of War 3”; Maria gets “The Wire”
• 93:12 | Holiday send-off and Older Drivers Awareness Week

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Tone & Style

The show is marked by restless energy, deadpan teasing, and the comfort of friends giving each other a hard time while sharing genuinely personal anecdotes. Bridger is quick with absurd hypotheticals, dry observational humor, and a thread of surreal self-importance that keeps things light even as more serious themes of family expectation and personal boundaries emerge.

For Listeners & Fans

If you need a reminder that the holidays are both a blessing and a curse—and that everyone’s family is a little weird—this episode brings a perfect mix of cathartic laughter and camaraderie, along with new Arby’s trivia and the proper way to stock up on forks before guests arrive.

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Happy holidays—mind your forks, your surprise visits, and whatever’s really in your roast beef!

Transcript

[Maria Thayer]

This is exactly right.

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[Guest Host or Character]

When I invited you here, I thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you gotta come to me empty handed. I said no guests. Your presence is present. And I already had too much stuff. So how do you dare disobey me?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Welcome to I said no gifts. I'm Bridger Weiniger. Happy holidays. It's the holiday episode. It's the big holiday episode. What's going on? Well, I think we should probably just address what's happening up top. If you're listening, you aren't aware of what I'm currently wearing. This was a network call. This was what I'm currently wearing. The network kind of said, if you don't wear it, the podcast will be canceled, the masters will be destroyed. But if you're listening what I would describe what I'm wearing. People are obviously watching this on YouTube. They already know the cat's out of the bag. I'm in kind of a Tiny Tim costume. I'm wearing kind of a mid thigh skirt. Well, it's more of a dress made out of what I assume is a flammable velvet with a white fringe and a little bit of itchy tulle underneath. Of course, got these gorgeous gloves on in the network. Yes. You know, they said, put it on or the show goes. I said, it's the holiday. I'll make the threats. I said, I'll walk. If we don't get a snow machine, can we get the snow going? Okay, so that's enough snow for now. It's the holidays. I believe this is our second holiday special. We did one years ago, maybe 20. 21, is that right? Alice? Alice, what are you wearing? What is that on your head?

[Maria Thayer]

I was just trying to be festive.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Take that off. It looks ridiculous. Alice is trying to pull focus. No, this is our second holiday episode. We would have done other years, but I was in jail. So we're trying to get back into the spirit of things. It's a busy season, the holidays are hectic. I'm trying to get everybody to refocus on what's really important. Me, of course. There's the one big one for me. I grew up with older driver safety awareness week. That's kind of my big holiday. That of course takes place in the beginning of December. I think it's December 5th to how long is a week? But if you missed it, you probably should just take a look at yourself. Ask yourself, what sort of Christian am I? I feel like that's almost everything. Could we. There's one more thing I'd like to talk about. Could we get some more snow before we. This is probably the most holiday oriented thing. I'd like to talk about snow, please. Okay. If you're just listening, you're. You're just getting the audio. But there is some gorgeous snow falling and it puts me in the mood to talk about. Last night I watched an episode of Tabitha Takeover. Now I'm back in my Tabitha bag. I of course had watch all of Tabitha Salon Takeover. Tabitha's Salon Takeover. It's this Australian woman that I kind of got hooked on last year and I powered through her salon takeovers. She of course has the sequel, Tabitha's Takeover. Last night I watched an episode. Tabitha's Takeover is a little different. They do more than salons. They do all sorts of small businesses. So last night's Tabitha's Takeover was a salon and she was taking over a salon in, I think it was Douglasville, Georgia and it was, I believe it was called Pat's Hair Shop. All kinds of things going wrong for Pat. Half of her staff had walked. The store was terrible. She had all sorts of garbage furniture. Kind of a troubled employee destroyed someone's dye job. Tabitha actually had to step in and strip some of the hair from color from her hair. But ultimately I think it was Tabitha was able to solve all of their problems. I haven't looked into Pat's Hair Shop and S H O P P E to see if it's still in business. Ellis, is it still in business? Any idea? Let's look into Pat's Hair Shop in Douglasville, Georgia. It's the holidays. We should check in with our loved ones.

[Maria Thayer]

Yelpers report this location has closed.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We're sorry to hear that about Pat's Hair Shop. Christmas is right around the corner. That's one of the holidays if you need a last minute gift. I always say a P F Chang's egift card. You know, I assume you can get those between $5 and probably thousands of dollars. You just want to think about the recipient's general appetite for, you know, chain Chinese food. I think that is all of our business that we've needed to cover Again, our older drivers, let's be aware of their safety, especially during the holidays. The roads are slippery. I think we should bring our guests in. It's a holiday special. So I said we've got to have a couple old favorites, a couple real holiday sweethearts. So let's demand some of my favorites come in. So we've got Maria Thayer and Tien Tran, two of my all time favorites. Could we bring them in? Happy holidays.

[Tien Tran]

Happy holidays.

[Maria Thayer]

Happy holidays.

[Tien Tran]

Happy holidays.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Come on in. Come on in.

[Maria Thayer]

Thank you.

[Tien Tran]

You look amazing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. Thank you so much. I was just telling a listener this was a network call. They said the show would be canceled if I didn't wear this.

[Maria Thayer]

What was your pitch?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I had a very conservative. I'm not comfortable with my body on camera. And I told them that several times in writing.

[Tien Tran]

You're sitting like you're very comfortable with your body.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, I had to get comfortable with it quickly because, you know, I'm a professional with those legs.

[Maria Thayer]

You should be comfortable with your body. And I'm glad to see them.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Look at them.

[Maria Thayer]

Those are like ballerina legs.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Again. I. I have a gun trained on both of these people. Wait, how are you two?

[Tien Tran]

Good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Tn. You've got to put your gifts somewhere.

[Tien Tran]

Sorry. What's the point?

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is the show. The format of this show right now is so uncomfortable for the guests because they have no idea where to put them.

[Maria Thayer]

And there's so many gifts.

[Tien Tran]

I know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah, maybe we should.

[Maria Thayer]

These are not real. I mean, not to.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There we go. Let's put those. You two are so nice to bring things. And the staff was so cruel to put props. I'm fighting for my life here. I'm fighting for my life. Do you two care about the holidays?

[Tien Tran]

I. I like the holidays.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Tien Tran]

I like the holidays. I like spending time. It stresses me out, though, I will say.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Tien Tran]

Just like holiday planning logistics with my family.

[Maria Thayer]

Maria, I just called in a hurry, called a psychiatrist to get on anti anxiety medication yesterday, so.

[Tien Tran]

Okay, Good for you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I feel my mic.

[Maria Thayer]

This is a little intense. I feel a little intensely about everything. I need to protect my friends and family from my. All I want to do is get into a fight with someone. So if I get into a fight with either one of you, it's because it hasn't kicked in yet.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, this is the show for fighting. Okay. I would love nothing more than to get in a fight with you on a podcast. Are you kidding?

[Maria Thayer]

I would have already brought a gift.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I mean, the trouble here is very tough. Are you two both Traveling.

[Tien Tran]

My parents live, like, two hours south of here. So, like, technically.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Doxxing your parents?

[Tien Tran]

I'm doxxing my parents. That's where they live. My sister, actually, older sister, she kept telling me that she was gonna come, and I was like, okay, when are the dates? When are the dates? And she texted me yesterday to be like, we're coming to these dates, but we don't know if we're gonna tell mom and dad. Cause we wanna surprise them. And I'm like, stop.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't know if that's a good thing to do.

[Tien Tran]

You can't surprise someone at their house for a whole week. That a husband and two kids.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You can't surprise someone at their house for more than half an hour.

[Maria Thayer]

No, I agree.

[Tien Tran]

Completely agree.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's like a stop in. Oh, I was in the neighborhood.

[Tien Tran]

Yes. Like, yeah.

[Maria Thayer]

I'm trying to figure out a reason to do that. Like, why. Who is the perfect person to surprise.

[Bridger Weiniger]

For an entire week?

[Maria Thayer]

For an entire week?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Hampton Inn, which I just found out they're trying to call Hampton. Now they're just calling it Hampton. They're trying to get away from Hampton Inn. I'm not letting them get away with it.

[Tien Tran]

Are they dropping the Inn because they feel like Inn doesn't feel classy?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I think that, like, this is like. Like the elevated.

[Maria Thayer]

If you already have Hampton in your name.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Maria Thayer]

Like, accept that kind of.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. Hampton Inn. We all know what. We love it.

[Tien Tran]

Yes. They paid so much money for someone to tell them to drop in.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. And here comes Bridger saying, not on my watch. Hampton Inn forever. Okay, so your sister. Did you come to a conclusion or.

[Tien Tran]

I think she's gonna surprise my parents for.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, they're big listeners to the show.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah, no, that's why I'm telling.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Because I want to get the word.

[Tien Tran]

Mom, dad, please be read. They're coming. The whole family. So get enough food for, I don't know, eight people.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God. That's such a huge surprise.

[Tien Tran]

No, it's such a huge surprise. It doesn't make any sense at all.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Good grief.

[Maria Thayer]

Is there a way that you can somehow, like, softly sort of prepare your family without ruining it for your sister and her husband and their children?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Their big surprise?

[Tien Tran]

I think it would absolutely destroy the family dynamic if I ruined this surprise for my older sister.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Could you do all. Could you do the grocery shopping in advance?

[Maria Thayer]

Yes. That kind of thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, now, see, now you're not taking care of yourself now.

[Tien Tran]

I'm taking on the emotional labor of it. And my therapist Said not to do that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I take on all.

[Maria Thayer]

That's why I have to get on anti anxiety.

[Tien Tran]

Okay. Wait, do you have siblings?

[Bridger Weiniger]

3.

[Tien Tran]

Where do you fall in the birth order?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's weird with four. I'm middle, but they're two middle.

[Tien Tran]

I'm middle as well.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How many do you have?

[Tien Tran]

Four.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Four. Okay.

[Tien Tran]

That's why we're. That's why we.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Now are you lower or upper middle?

[Tien Tran]

I'm.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm third.

[Tien Tran]

What do you consider that?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Lower middle.

[Tien Tran]

Okay, then I'm lower middle class. I wasn't sure I'm lower middle class.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Tien Tran]

I say Hampton Inn.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, Hampton Inn. And you have one sibling?

[Maria Thayer]

I have one sibling who's younger and I'm the oldest, but I feel like the oldest has to do everything. Emotional glue, planning, sucking up sh. I just feel like they. I feel like my brother just like flounces around and just has a jolly old time and.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're going to Montana.

[Maria Thayer]

I'm not going to Montana. Christmas used to be our big holiday. I never missed one.

[Tien Tran]

Ever.

[Maria Thayer]

No matter what happened. But after my brother had kids, then something rearranged and now Thanksgiving is our big holiday. And Christmas can, you know, you kind of just.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow.

[Maria Thayer]

I'm sorry.

[Tien Tran]

I'm sorry.

[Maria Thayer]

I don't mean that like for real. Obviously Christmas is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, you're on record now. Anti Christmas.

[Tien Tran]

Christmas is the one true holiday.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's the only holiday.

[Maria Thayer]

I sat down and I just. Basically a Grinch. You are the Grinch in a Christmas dress. Not a good Christmas dress.

[Bridger Weiniger]

As you me of course.

[Maria Thayer]

But is it.

[Tien Tran]

Cause they want it to be their own Christmas with their kids.

[Maria Thayer]

It's because the kids, now the kids are the most important thing about the holiday, which is fine. I mean, I love my nieces.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Jealous.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah. It used to get a lot of.

[Maria Thayer]

Attention, but now it's for that three year old. But yeah. So we just. So the mother in law gets Christmas. I don't know how this was. I was not consulted, but so that's what happens. And Christmases and my. My family is more loosey goosey and my brother's married in family is more like straight laced. And so how we plan is very different than how they plan. And I think our planning style, which is just like maybe we'll be there, I don't know. Would drive everyone crazy. It's driven. So we're like. We're not like. It's not like we're not invited, but it's like.

[Tien Tran]

It's just you're not invited and you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Can'T you ultimately can't count on each other for anything. No, no. So that's important.

[Maria Thayer]

Which is not. Which is anti the Christmas.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think having children's a real power move, especially during the holidays. It's the one I don't want children at all. But to be able to stay home for the holidays, children are an anchor. Then everyone has to come to you.

[Tien Tran]

It's so true.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's so powerful.

[Tien Tran]

It's so powerful. My sister, when she had kids, she was like, they will wake up at their home on Christmas.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. And you can't fight that.

[Tien Tran]

And you can't fight that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's nothing you can do.

[Maria Thayer]

Of course.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah. You can't fight that unless you have.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Like, an extravagant thing you can do for them. So it's really. They've got us all hostage.

[Tien Tran]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I can't say I have no reason not to go home for the holidays.

[Maria Thayer]

So what are you. Where are you?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm going to Utah. You're going to Utah?

[Maria Thayer]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Which obviously I have a good time, but it's never an option for me. It's not like you come to me.

[Tien Tran]

You always have to go there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. They'd be like, why are we coming? We have to move everything for you. Of course. I have to get on a plane. I have to go through Burbank. That's a mild challenge for me. So I don't never think Burbank.

[Maria Thayer]

I can't believe even me being so close to Burbank. The studio is so close to Burbank. Makes me so. When I was driving here, I saw Burbank. It makes me. It gives me such joy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God.

[Maria Thayer]

It's like, I love Burbank so much.

[Tien Tran]

I do like Burbank too.

[Maria Thayer]

Fantastic airport. It's. I can't. I never. I never. I never go into Burbank and fly or come into Burbank without just being so great.

[Tien Tran]

No, I love it.

[Maria Thayer]

I live in a time with Burbank. There's a lot of other problems, but Burbank airport exists. I think I talked about this last time I was.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I talked about this non stop on this podcast.

[Tien Tran]

I like the Burbank little shopping area. I can go to rei, get some camping chairs and like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, with the Walmart, the Target, the Ulta, the Sephora.

[Tien Tran]

Oh, I can get everything I need. I can get a hose from Lowe's and.

[Maria Thayer]

Lovely.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A hose from Lowe's.

[Tien Tran]

A hose from Lowe's and camping chairs from rei and grab some Panda Express. It's literally the best.

[Maria Thayer]

Wonderful afternoon.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. I Got some climbing shoes from rei.

[Tien Tran]

Are you climbing?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I did for a while. Then I put my. I froze my account. So it's just been kind of $10 a month for me. It's like a charity at this point.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah, it is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I need to get back into it.

[Tien Tran]

Were you bouldering?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, I was bouldering for quite a while.

[Maria Thayer]

That's why those legs are so attractive.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's what Permanent good legs from bouldering? No, I was for quite a while and then for. No. I had no actual excuse to freeze my account. I just stopped. But then I just found out that my bank has been charging me a $95 a month fee. And I thought that could have been going towards bouldering. So I reversed all the fees and now I'll start bouldering.

[Tien Tran]

Wait, why are they. A fee for what?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm glad I caught it.

[Tien Tran]

Keeping it clean. They do that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Have you seen keeping it Clean?

[Tien Tran]

No. No. Isn't there a bank fee? That's like. We're just like, oh, just kind of an organic. Yeah, like we're just checking on your account.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Interesting.

[Maria Thayer]

And then they charge you for.

[Tien Tran]

Yes, but I don't.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. Oh, so they say, we're charging you to mop up your problem now. This was something. This was something that I hadn't even noticed. I was just looking at my account. I was like, oh, wait, this is new. I got them on the phone. They were wonderful to me. I'm on the side of banks.

[Maria Thayer]

This is crazy, but I think banks are bad. I think banks are greedy. They're too monopolized. And Chase bank can go the way of all banks.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Reach out.

[Tien Tran]

I think all banks are good and everyone should celebrate Christmas.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're launching some sort of. You're running for something in the near future. No, I got them. I thank God. I think I was saying this to someone recently. I think that even bank employees are not on the side of banks at this point. So you call them and you're like, I don't know where this came from. Please reverse this for me. They were so easy about that.

[Tien Tran]

As long as you're nice.

[Maria Thayer]

Yes, as long as you're nice.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is something that shocks me with service workers when they're so like, I can't believe you were nice to me. Where I'm like, what is everyone else doing? Yeah, what if. If you thank somebody at a drive thru, their eyes light up. Because I think most people are just like, they don't even hit the brakes on the drive thru. They're just grabbing, going through. It's Shocking to me. It is the abuse that must be happening at the drive thru window. I can't imagine.

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[Tien Tran]

Have any of you worked like customer?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, all sorts of services.

[Tien Tran]

Okay. Yeah, yeah.

[Maria Thayer]

I worked at Arby's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Arby's. Oh, I'm so jealous.

[Tien Tran]

I know.

[Maria Thayer]

Why are you jealous of it?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Because I love Arby's.

[Maria Thayer]

Oh, well, then I won't talk about it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What do you have to say about Arby's? We've got to get into this.

[Maria Thayer]

I've already insulted Chase Baker Christmas.

[Tien Tran]

You're taking down all the biggest.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Arby's is extremely powerful. It's so powerful outside of banks. It's like banks Arby's.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Maria Thayer]

There's a lot to love about Arby's. The horsey sauce.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. That's the one thing I don't care about.

[Maria Thayer]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I like the Arby's sauce.

[Tien Tran]

The onion petals.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Ooh, onion petals.

[Maria Thayer]

I never had this. I think back in when I worked there, there was no onion petals.

[Tien Tran]

Okay.

[Maria Thayer]

Onion petals.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. This is an innovation that I've got.

[Tien Tran]

Did I just make that up?

[Bridger Weiniger]

That sounds like something Arby's would have.

[Tien Tran]

I'm pretty sure that I got onion petals there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Is it like an onion sh.

[Maria Thayer]

Oh, I love a jamoka shake. Yeah. Jamoca shakes I can get.

[Tien Tran]

What are jamoka shakes?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's like a chocolate coffee shake.

[Maria Thayer]

Yeah, they have them all the time. I don't think they're even seasonal. You can just have them any old time.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Not in Los Angeles, of course, because they've closed down our final Arby's. Was that the last Arby's within the Los Angeles area? That's devastating.

[Maria Thayer]

That was the best Arby's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They had the best sign.

[Maria Thayer]

They had the best sign by far.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They had a listener. If you're not familiar, you've really lost out on a life event. But it's a giant cowboy hat in neon. This is Arby's. It's gorgeous. They should preserve that or something. That should be put on top of the Netflix.

[Tien Tran]

I'm sure someone has. Oh, my gosh.

[Maria Thayer]

After we burn it down.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, after we burn it down.

[Maria Thayer]

I'll get A job after this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They make a lot of holiday episodes. No, they do.

[Tien Tran]

They do.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I feel like we're all gunning for a Christmas episode or a Christmas movie on Netflix.

[Tien Tran]

They would buy that. They would buy that. And then anytime they open their movies, it's like, Netflix, Arby.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, you know what my dream is? My S Corp is called Mervyn's. Are you too familiar with Mervyn's?

[Maria Thayer]

Yeah. Is it the. It's like the discount store.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It was like a discount department store up until the early thousands. That was like mostly. I don't know what their national strategy was because it was mostly west coast and then a couple throughout. Probably like very small areas of New York or whatever. They all closed down.

[Tien Tran]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And when I started an S Corp, you have to pick a name. And I thought, what better name than Mervyns? And my lawyer looked into it and he said, you can take it. There might be a cease and desist at some point, but I was like, well, I'm taking it for now. And if I ever Hollywood reach out, produce a show, we'll have the Mervyns logo and it'll cheapen everything that sounds. No matter what I work on, it will be diminished by.

[Tien Tran]

So there's not a single store left?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, they're gone.

[Maria Thayer]

Wow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A lot of remaining buildings, of course, but no stores. And occasionally, once probably every two years, I'll get a piece of mail from like, some sort of employment service or whatever, like, demanding that Mervyns pay this employee or whatever.

[Maria Thayer]

I'm like, oh, wow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm just not that Mervyn. How am I supposed to let the world know? How do they even find me? I guess they look up Mervyn Corporations. Yeah. And they see Mervyns.

[Maria Thayer]

That guy owes me money.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Get him. Get him, boys. Different Mervyns. I don't have the. Well, I probably have more money than Mervyns at this point.

[Tien Tran]

You definitely do.

[Maria Thayer]

Did you love Mervyns? Is that why you?

[Tien Tran]

Or did you.

[Maria Thayer]

What happened that made you feel like you wanted to?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's given my life a certain texture. There are a lot of back to school shopping trips there. There are a lot of memories of kind of wandering through their very dark department stores.

[Tien Tran]

Is it like Filene's Basement?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Did you have. Ooh, what's this?

[Tien Tran]

Oh, my. I know all the discount places. I feel like you would have loved Filene's Basement.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How do we spell Filene? I love that name.

[Tien Tran]

F I, L, E. N E. Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Filene.

[Tien Tran]

Filene's Basement.

[Bridger Weiniger]

She's classy.

[Tien Tran]

She's so classy. I just remember Filene's basement was a discount department store. And the main memory I have is that the dressing room had no private. So it's just.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It was like a public shower.

[Tien Tran]

It was like a public shower. Just a bunch of women in one room of all ages trying on, like, everything that they had done.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's like a barn.

[Tien Tran]

It is just like a barn. It's just like a barn.

[Maria Thayer]

And it was like there was a place. Like, it wasn't fine Leeds basement, but there's a place in New York City that was like that, too. And I can't remember what it was called now.

[Tien Tran]

Century Clothing Place.

[Maria Thayer]

It was crowded with, like. It was not just. That was just a big room, but it was full of people. Like, with stacks. Yes.

[Tien Tran]

With sacks of clothes that they were dressed in.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Whoa.

[Tien Tran]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow. This is a. Now Mervyn's is starting to sound like top tier.

[Maria Thayer]

And then also, it'd be something where you'd be trying something on. You'd be like, I don't like this. And someone would be like, can I try that on?

[Bridger Weiniger]

So it's a sense of community.

[Tien Tran]

Someone would be like, yeah, the sense of community.

[Maria Thayer]

Yeah.

[Tien Tran]

It's really. It was shocking.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We should get back to that.

[Tien Tran]

I know what, like, dressing rooms.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's what's missing in America. Everyone's seeing each other naked and throwing on discount clothes. But you two would shop there first. I don't feel like we had any of those in Utah. Sounds a little immodest, to be honest. And, like, with the prevailing culture in Utah, I feel like probably don't want to get undressed in front of other people. We would have Mervyn's. We would have Dress Barn.

[Tien Tran]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Rough name for any clothing business, Dress Barn. But Mervyn's rip. They tried to become Mervyn's California. At one point, tried to spice it up with the word California.

[Maria Thayer]

I wanna know if that ever works. Like, Hampton is Hampton's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Maria Thayer]

Doing better as Hamptons Hampton or Hamptons Hampton Hamptons.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That would have been an interesting move.

[Tien Tran]

Oh, they're trying. Okay. They're trying to confuse people deliberately. Wow. Actually, that's genius. I'm going to Hampton. And no one would correct us. They would be like, you mean Hamp? I'm like, yeah, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's kind of witness protection vibe.

[Tien Tran]

It is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, if they switch names every single year, I think that would probably be a good business plan. Because people would be like, what's this new business? It kind of reminds me of Hampton Inn, but it Seems to be something better.

[Maria Thayer]

The Ritz.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The Ritz. Hampton Inn becomes Hampton Hamptons, and then their fourth choice is the Ritz.

[Tien Tran]

The Ritz.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wait, so we were talking. I do need to circle back to Arby's for just a minute because it seemed like there were some horror stories about Arby's.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah. What's going on with Arby's? God, this is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm not liking what you've seen.

[Tien Tran]

I feel like I've already thought. I have an image of what the Arby's back kitchen is like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I've heard myths, rumors.

[Tien Tran]

Oh, really?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I've heard. Maybe you can confirm some rumors, some urban legends.

[Maria Thayer]

Yeah. What are they?

[Bridger Weiniger]

What I heard is that the meat comes as a liquid.

[Maria Thayer]

That's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Maria Thayer]

Yes, it does.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well.

[Maria Thayer]

Yes, it does.

[Tien Tran]

Well.

[Maria Thayer]

Not a total liquid, but I. But I don't know how because I. They roast it and it becomes. It solidifies for sure.

[Tien Tran]

Obviously. Oh, I don't like my meat like that.

[Maria Thayer]

But my first day there, my friend threw me a meat. It comes in bags through meat and it was like. It was like sort of gelatin. It was sort of gelatin. It was just sort of like this. Listeners, I'm just. As if you had a bag that was made out of jelly in your. You're trying to hold it, but it's slipping out of your head like one of those snakes that you can't.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I love those things.

[Tien Tran]

I love those things.

[Maria Thayer]

Okay.

[Tien Tran]

That's not how I want my meat a little bit.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I love a toy that way.

[Maria Thayer]

But, you know, I don't know. I don't. I mean, this was. This was, you know, 80 years ago when I worked there. So I think it's probably changed.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But did you ever see it outside of the bag?

[Maria Thayer]

I never saw it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm trying to do the math here. It gets roasted. At what point is the big question.

[Tien Tran]

And then does it turn into this.

[Maria Thayer]

It turns into a thing that is on the slicer. I was never allowed near the slicer when I worked there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Because you knew too much already.

[Maria Thayer]

I was more of a fry, fry and ordering person. But I was a bad. Back then. I would daydream too much, just as a rule. And so when people would tell me their order, I would just. I could not concentrate on what they were saying. So I would just sort of daydream about whatever I was daydreaming. Probably not working.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How long did you work there? Half an hour. What was your career at Arby's back.

[Tien Tran]

For her half hour shift?

[Maria Thayer]

I don't know, I don't know how long I worked there. Not too long. I mean, probably the regular Arby's amount, which is probably, you know, four months.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Maria Thayer]

That feels like after that you get a pension.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You just have a neat pen to.

[Tien Tran]

You.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Generous and fast benefits.

[Maria Thayer]

But I just wouldn't remember anything that anyone said. And so I would just like, sort of write like, ring up what I thought that they might want. And it was always wrong, of course. So then they put me on like the Friar, which was named Big Bertha, which is that gave it that fun name.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Maria Thayer]

So that I'm just like in the back with, you know, a little hair net. Anyway, I just. It was not a. It was not a. I don't want.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This to become the Arby's episode. But it's just everything you say, like, brings up more questions for me. Did you ever. After. After learning that the meat was essentially slime, did you ever have the meat again?

[Maria Thayer]

Of course I was.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, well, then I feel a little more comfortable about it.

[Maria Thayer]

If I was 14, I would have eaten any.

[Tien Tran]

15 or whatever. Slime then becomes like deli meat. How does that happen?

[Maria Thayer]

This is all a really good questions that I cannot answer because I just. I noticed it and then, I don't know, it just didn't.

[Tien Tran]

Is it like when you make paper.

[Bridger Weiniger]

From wood pulp or creepy crawlers?

[Tien Tran]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do you remember creepy crawlers?

[Tien Tran]

I never got it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It was kind of like Easy Bake Oven for boys. And it was like a little thing that you would dump slime into different bugs and then bake them. And then it would become. It is easy baking a delicious roast beef.

[Maria Thayer]

Oh, you could eat it.

[Tien Tran]

No, no.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They would be like little slime, like little rubber toys. But this is what. That's kind of what I'm picturing with the Arby's slime.

[Maria Thayer]

Yeah. Maybe that's always a very slime, but.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I just don't know how it'd be like solidified. And I don't know why. Like, as a company, it's like, just do that of the factory or.

[Tien Tran]

But also why. That's like an. That's an extra step.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a huge extra step.

[Tien Tran]

You're going to make the beef, you're going to roast it, you're going to slice it, you're going to liquefy it, and then you're going to re.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Slice.

[Tien Tran]

Reanimate it to slice.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right, Maria, Now I feel like you've just come on to kind of sully the name of Arby's. They have Good chicken fingers there. I don't think they underrated chicken fingers.

[Maria Thayer]

When I was there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Maria Thayer]

I think that's a.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Or onion petals. It was pure soft.

[Tien Tran]

I'm almost potted that. I'm pretty sure I got onion petals there.

[Maria Thayer]

I love the name Onion.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Onion petals. It's gorgeous. It's so evocative.

[Tien Tran]

No, it's really beautiful. It doesn't fit with the rest of the Arby's menu. I feel, like, rude. I mean, if you're going roast beef sandwich, chicken tender, horsey sauce, onion shake.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is. Look, I love Arby's, but the one thing I'll say is that the menu has been a little all over the place over the years.

[Maria Thayer]

I guess that's why I don't.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, right. I feel like there's. I mean, Burger King is way more offensive. Like, they're bigger offenders on this part where they have a new menu item probably daily.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Arby's. It's like quarterly. They have a new menu outside of the chicken fingers and roast beef. They're like, suddenly we have onion petals. And so. I believe they had onion petals. I believe you.

[Tien Tran]

Thank you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I see you in Hippolyte.

[Tien Tran]

Thank God. Seriously.

[Maria Thayer]

But also, if you're wrong, you should patent that on your.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God. Or write a poem.

[Tien Tran]

Okay.

[Maria Thayer]

And write a poem. Use it to write a poem.

[Tien Tran]

That's all right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Use that patent to write a poem. Other poets are coming for you.

[Tien Tran]

Okay. You're right. This is my time. The industry is crazy right now, and I really could get into poetry.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We're all getting into. We're pivoting to poetry.

[Tien Tran]

We're pivoting poetry.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Our pity.

[Tien Tran]

So beautiful.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my gosh.

[Maria Thayer]

I also want. But I do want to say that I love. I do love the taste of Arby's and obviously.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God, you're in good company.

[Maria Thayer]

It's. I, I, I, I think I ate Arby's within the last five years.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I. Let's see. I think I did.

[Maria Thayer]

Brought me Arby's and I ate it and I loved it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I've been to. I went to the Hollywood Arby's almost exclusively alone. Yeah, of course, it was just as sad.

[Tien Tran]

Sunglasses, hats. No.

[Maria Thayer]

In what I'm currently wearing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, I've been there in the last five years, I would say. And I love their Arby's. Reach Out, Open one in Los Angeles.

[Maria Thayer]

Curly fries.

[Tien Tran]

Curly fries. Okay. I do love curly fries. I love their curly fries. Particular.

[Maria Thayer]

Curly fries are so good.

[Tien Tran]

They are really good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Deann, you've Been suspiciously quiet about how much you love Arby's.

[Tien Tran]

I honestly don't mean to go back to the onion petals, but that's kind of all I remember eating.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Not the roast beef sandwich.

[Tien Tran]

I can't remember the last time I've had Arby's. I'm really sorry.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's fine. That's fine. You know, it could be a new chapter for you.

[Maria Thayer]

Did you ever work in fast food?

[Tien Tran]

I worked at a barbecue restaurant.

[Maria Thayer]

Oh, what's the name of the barbecue restaurant?

[Tien Tran]

Damon's Barbecue Restaurant. It's a good barbecue. It was. Honestly, it was pretty good barbecue restaurant. It was a pretty good barbecue restaurant.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And did the meat come solid or liquid?

[Tien Tran]

It came fully solid.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah. Full solid. Which is a really good question I'm gonna be asking restaurants from now on.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Every single one.

[Tien Tran]

Every single one.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes.

[Tien Tran]

The waiter. Excuse me. Is the meat liquid?

[Maria Thayer]

I won't be coming.

[Tien Tran]

I'm not coming. If it's not liquid, you call ahead.

[Maria Thayer]

I call ahead.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You ask on resi.

[Tien Tran]

I showed up, and it was. It was solid.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And I'm pretty sure it was solid before it was on my plate. Yeah, I don't like this.

[Tien Tran]

No, I used to work at. I don't. Did anyone. Did you. Have you heard of Damon's? It must be, like, East Coast. It's a chain, but it's also. It was like, a sports barbecue restaurant. So it had, like, four big projection screens playing, like, football, basketball, sports.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know, this is the only sort of restaurant I'll go to.

[Tien Tran]

I know you love that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You'll catch me at a sports bar. Sports barbecue.

[Tien Tran]

And it's hard to work at a sports barbecue restaurant because, like, people don't. Even more so are paying less attention to you as a server.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, because they've got the big game on.

[Tien Tran]

Because they've got the big game on.

[Maria Thayer]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And they're probably in a bad mood.

[Tien Tran]

And they're in a bad mood.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Their team is not.

[Tien Tran]

And they're drunk, and they're kind of mean, and, like, you're bringing their food. It's almost. I almost felt like an early version of the Alamo. You know how, like, movies.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Because the Alamo is a Alamo Draft house.

[Maria Thayer]

David Crockett died or whatever. I was like, whoa. Like a famous battle.

[Tien Tran]

Now I see.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And write that down as history.

[Tien Tran]

Yes, yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We remember the Alamo because that's where Davy Crockett died.

[Maria Thayer]

Is that true?

[Tien Tran]

I don't know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So let's assume. Let's not look into it.

[Tien Tran]

I think so.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You'Re A historian first. Arby's employee second.

[Tien Tran]

Historian first. Arby's employee second.

[Maria Thayer]

Just want to say that, yes, Davy Crockett did die in the battle of the.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God. I'm leaving the show. I'm leaving the show.

[Tien Tran]

Wait, can you look up onion petals and see if those were an item.

[Bridger Weiniger]

While we're in the research corner? Whoa. Davy Crockett died at the Alamo.

[Maria Thayer]

I mean, who is David Crockett? I don't even know who that person.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Is who didn't die at the Alamo.

[Maria Thayer]

He was the guy with the hat. The attractive hat.

[Tien Tran]

Right?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Tien Tran]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Interesting coonskin. Right. Now, I was at the Alamo in 2019, and I'm pretty sure they sold a lot. I'm such a fool. How didn't I put that all together?

[Tien Tran]

That's okay.

[Maria Thayer]

That's okay. There's a lot of things I don't know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is embarrassing, especially during the holidays, not to know where Davy Crockett died.

[Maria Thayer]

But actually, now we all do.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Everyone's learning. This is an education.

[Tien Tran]

Christmas is the time to celebrate Davy Crockett.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. And to learn just about the Alamo Ellis onion petals.

[Maria Thayer]

They were a popular discontinued side dish featuring lightly battered petal shaped onion wedges.

[Tien Tran]

Okay, this is huge for me.

[Maria Thayer]

Popular and also discontinued.

[Tien Tran]

Removed from the menu around 2010.

[Maria Thayer]

So maybe were they poisonous? Like, how were they popular and were they recalled?

[Tien Tran]

No.

[Bridger Weiniger]

See, this is Arby's big problem. It's like, we hear the word popular and discontinued, and it's like, who's in charge? Who's at the wheel?

[Tien Tran]

I feel like Arby's is like, you know, tagline. Is Arby's popular?

[Bridger Weiniger]

But you can't get it anymore. And part of the menu is liquid before you eat it. Okay, so you were working at Danes Barbecue Daemons.

[Tien Tran]

Daemons.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, Dane's.

[Maria Thayer]

Like the Alamo Drafthouse.

[Tien Tran]

It was like the Alamo Drafthouse where you had to, like, serve, like, huge. People would get full racks of ribs and I would have to serve full racks, like four full racks on a huge tray. And I don't have upper body strength.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow, this is stuff to here.

[Tien Tran]

So it was like they stopped it here.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's why we brought you here today.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah.

[Maria Thayer]

Because I need to start clifting or whatever it's called.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, clifting.

[Tien Tran]

Clifting is when you just walk off a cliff and you only get to do it once.

[Maria Thayer]

But you don't care about it anymore.

[Tien Tran]

You just do it once. You.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm going twisted.

[Maria Thayer]

I'm Going clifting.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Is that a threat?

[Maria Thayer]

Goodbye, anxiety.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wait, so you. It was hard to lift off.

[Tien Tran]

It was so hard.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's like, you know, Flintstone level thing of Ricks.

[Tien Tran]

It really was.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right?

[Maria Thayer]

Yeah.

[Tien Tran]

Or I put it on the table and it tips the table.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right, Exactly.

[Maria Thayer]

Did you have any mishaps like that? Thankfully, no.

[Tien Tran]

I never. I like, pride myself on having never, ever dropped a tray.

[Maria Thayer]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Good for you.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah.

[Maria Thayer]

I feel like you would be.

[Tien Tran]

I was very hardcore about it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah.

[Maria Thayer]

You would just suffer through it. What, you didn't have an arm strength. You would work out in balance.

[Tien Tran]

Yes. Thank you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow, that's amazing to hear. I love to hear that.

[Maria Thayer]

Did you have to do that thing where that. With Alamo Drafthouse when people. When people are watching that, they sort of, like, sneak around underneath the tv?

[Tien Tran]

That's what I don't like about Alamo Drafthouse.

[Maria Thayer]

It's really depressing to me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a bad business model.

[Tien Tran]

Yes. It makes me feel.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It throws everyone into a weird mood.

[Tien Tran]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm trying to watch the movie. There's a distraction.

[Tien Tran]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I've never had the food, but I assume it's fine at best.

[Tien Tran]

It's great.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. It's great.

[Tien Tran]

It's great.

[Maria Thayer]

I mean it. I love it. They have some.

[Tien Tran]

Okay. So you're in there making people go.

[Maria Thayer]

I'm like, lower bow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Lower plate after plate.

[Maria Thayer]

You're serving me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You just love people serving you.

[Tien Tran]

Love people crawling to you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And you don't look at me.

[Tien Tran]

Oh, my God. It makes me feel so weird. You love it.

[Maria Thayer]

I love it. I love it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, wow. I mean, when I say bad business model, it is a. Well, actually, I think they went bankrupt or something.

[Tien Tran]

Did they really?

[Bridger Weiniger]

There was some financial issue?

[Maria Thayer]

Yeah, it seems like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Or they were bought out by private equity, as everyone is at this point.

[Tien Tran]

Private equity.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Go away. Ellis, do we know what happened with Alamo? Yeah. Go.

[Tien Tran]

Go away.

[Maria Thayer]

Get a light. Stay private equity.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah. Bank. Stay private equity.

[Maria Thayer]

Land grip Your lame private equity.

[Tien Tran]

God.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, well, I mean, I have more questions about all of. Especially Arby's, and I do just want to. Especially Arby's during the holidays. We should mention the goblets. The limited edition goblets you could get at Arby's. I can't believe neither of you knows.

[Maria Thayer]

I don't know about that at all.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Go to a Goodwill. You'll find one they had every year. They had different limited edition goblets. Goblets.

[Tien Tran]

But that feels like it doesn't align with the cowboy house theme.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, again, who's in control? Who's at the wheel? At our Once a year, they made it nice.

[Maria Thayer]

What were the goblets made out of? Plastic or glass?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Pretty sure glass. They were gorgeous goblets.

[Maria Thayer]

I love it.

[Tien Tran]

Oh, my gosh.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sometimes they had movie themes. Beautiful. But I think we should talk about something else. Okay.

[Maria Thayer]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I was excited to have you two here for the holidays. I thought, no one will ruin the holidays for me this year, especially Tien and Maria. So I invited you here on the show. I said no gifts. And for the last half hour or so, I've been seething because you walked into the studio holding what are clearly gifts. Are these for me?

[Maria Thayer]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, fine. Should we open them here on the podcast?

[Tien Tran]

Yes, I think you should.

[Maria Thayer]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Maria Thayer]

Even though you're pissed off, I don't want to enrage you anymore.

[Tien Tran]

No, seriously.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm grinding my teeth to dust. I didn't wear my night guard. We'll open this first one on top. Who's this from?

[Tien Tran]

This is from me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. Yeah. Hand it to me. This is kind of an Alamo situation. Alamo Drafthouse. Turn off the lights.

[Maria Thayer]

Scurry, scurry, scurry, Scurry.

[Tien Tran]

Get out of there. Get out of there.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Get out of there. This is surprisingly heavy.

[Tien Tran]

Yes.

[Maria Thayer]

Yes.

[Tien Tran]

I. It's.

[Maria Thayer]

It's a. It's a. Yes, it is surprisingly heavy.

[Tien Tran]

Tn.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I want you to experience how heavy that is.

[Tien Tran]

Oh, my God. I did not expect that.

[Maria Thayer]

I'm glad you've been bouldering, because otherwise.

[Tien Tran]

You wouldn't be able to drag to the floor.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, I would say this is probably a good £2.

[Tien Tran]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And it's not that big. It's kind of a. I want to.

[Maria Thayer]

Go simpler, because last time you were. I brought a gift, and you were so enraged, I didn't want to There anymore.

[Tien Tran]

Right here. Oh, my God. That's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's part of the studio design. Listener. It's a. If you are so cruel not to remember. It's a seed design that Maria made. This is murder Seed wrote. And it's Angela Lansbury with a magnifying glass and scarf. It's gorgeous. And it's now part of the permanent studio design. Tien, your gift, unfortunately, is in a little drawer in my house. It was bangs. I experimented with them. Didn't work for me, but they looked good.

[Tien Tran]

I looked good.

[Maria Thayer]

I heard you looked good.

[Tien Tran]

I thought you looked really good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, maybe I'll try it again. Okay. Okay, let's open this here. Okay. Both of these, by the way. Beautifully. Wrapped gifts.

[Tien Tran]

Thank you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You really. You two went all out. Okay, we're opening. Could we have the snow while I'm opening this?

[Tien Tran]

There's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Get the snow going.

[Maria Thayer]

Oh, my God. Oh, no.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, There we go.

[Tien Tran]

Oh, my God.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Happy holidays. Okay.

[Tien Tran]

That's incredible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, that is incredible.

[Tien Tran]

Where do you get something like that?

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's a good question. Probably, I don't know. Probably at your local gas station or something. Okay.

[Tien Tran]

I bet they do sell that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Dinner forks. Is this really dinner forks?

[Maria Thayer]

It's really dinner forks.

[Bridger Weiniger]

A pack of 12.

[Maria Thayer]

A pack of 12.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Mirror, polished.

[Maria Thayer]

Look, I don't know. I know that this is a boring gift, but this is a gift that I would want to. Because I don't know how you feel about. But I can't keep forks in my house.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Where are they going?

[Maria Thayer]

I knew you would say things like that. I knew this would happen. I thought so. This is just me. It's not just me because I talked to another friend and she had the same problem. I don't know where they're going.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't know where they're going.

[Maria Thayer]

Maybe I'm just, like, throwing them out willy nilly. But honestly, I can't keep forks. I have two forks.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow. Interesting.

[Maria Thayer]

I have two forks in my house, and then I'm constantly. I have so many knives. So many knives.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I have the opposite problem. I have two butter knives and I have always have more room for forks. So let's be honest. This is a great gift.

[Maria Thayer]

I might ask for them back, but.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But I do have this problem with butter knives. But this is my defense of butter knives. Occasionally you're like, I need to pry something open in the backyard or I need to scrape something off.

[Tien Tran]

And then you throw it away, of course. Why?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Everything I own is one. Use TVs, cars, clothing, throw it in the trash. Of course. Butter knives.

[Tien Tran]

What are you doing with your silverware?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a good question. Again, I'm defending myself here. I use it as a tool more than a. I'm not scraping a lot of butter onto toast, I guess. But your forks, this is.

[Tien Tran]

Are you bringing them to lunch?

[Maria Thayer]

I'm not consciously bringing them out of the. Who knows what I'm doing? I don't know. I don't. I don't. I don't think this is a just me problem. I really don't. I'm glad that it's not a you.

[Tien Tran]

Or a you problem.

[Maria Thayer]

I don't think it's just me problem, is it?

[Tien Tran]

I don't have enough data to support. Oh, gosh if this is a universal thing.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, this. I mean, out of three people here, two of them have a lot of forks.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah, I have so many forks.

[Maria Thayer]

I mean, you have more forks than anyone.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I've just essentially doubled my collection. Swimming in forks here.

[Maria Thayer]

Yeah. I have to, like, run. I mean, I can't. I'm constantly fishing them out. I really, truly have just three forks. Two or three forks. And I'm constantly putting them in the dishwasher, and then I'm like, I need a fork. So I'm wiping it off.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How many do you think you have at home right now?

[Maria Thayer]

Forks.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Forks.

[Tien Tran]

Three.

[Maria Thayer]

I think I have three.

[Tien Tran]

What's your spoon? What are your spoons like?

[Maria Thayer]

Spoons. Have a million spoons.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, Maria, you can't take. I can't take all of this.

[Tien Tran]

I'm.

[Maria Thayer]

Is this the first time you've given. Look at how they're individuals.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Individuals. You're taking two of those homes. So you do get something.

[Maria Thayer]

I said no gift, and now you gave me a gift.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, look, I control the podcast. I control what happens here. Tienne. I know you're jealous. How many forks do you have?

[Tien Tran]

I have a. I am flush with forks at all.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, you should have one.

[Tien Tran]

Yes. Yeah, you should have a cute one.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow. But you're losing all of.

[Maria Thayer]

This is my first Christmas gift. I mean, not.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm Mr. Holiday.

[Tien Tran]

Mr. Holiday. Thank you.

[Maria Thayer]

Thank you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow. So you're losing all of your forks. This, to me, this sort of gift, I'm thrilled to get. I'm not having a wedding. I'm never having a wedding. And I think, you know, people are so spoiled at weddings with things that you don't really buy.

[Tien Tran]

I agree.

[Maria Thayer]

Oh, my gosh.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You know, you're getting all sorts of appliances, things that you're like, I don't want to buy that for myself.

[Tien Tran]

You're like, you don't need a fucking standing mixer. You're never going to make. Okay, fine. Sorry I brought it up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's the one. Sorry.

[Tien Tran]

Listen, I know so many people that have, like, put that on their wedding registry, and I don't think they've made. They're like, I made pasta one time.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, the pasta attachment is like, stop putting it in kitchen made. No one's making the pasta.

[Tien Tran]

Exactly.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They might make dough or something, but the pasta thing gets thrown in a drawer and is never used again.

[Tien Tran]

I completely agree.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Homemade pasta is such an ambitious thing to do.

[Tien Tran]

I find it kind of, like, pompous.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's ridiculous. It's not that much better. Homemade Pasta and dry pasta.

[Maria Thayer]

Is that true? I feel like 40 years ago, I made homemade pasta, and it was awesome. Really good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What sort of pasta?

[Maria Thayer]

Long pasta?

[Tien Tran]

Spaghetti.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It was one strand.

[Maria Thayer]

One strand, but just looped around. It's incredible.

[Tien Tran]

No, homemade pasta. If you.

[Maria Thayer]

Beauty and the Beast, you had to be, like, a mile away.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, interesting. So one person starts across town with the spaghetti, and the other person, they end up kissing. Absolutely in love. Absolutely in love. That's interesting. That feels like something someone should try, actually. Like a big.

[Tien Tran]

Oh, I could see that as some, like, Instagram sort of video. Every day, I'm gonna keep eating this pasta till I meet my love. Like, that's what. That's what I imagine. Do you know that?

[Maria Thayer]

Like, do you.

[Tien Tran]

Have you seen videos like that?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No.

[Tien Tran]

Like, I'm walk. I'm gonna walk around the world until.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I meet my love.

[Tien Tran]

No, but, like, there are people. There's a man that I follow. There is a man that I follow on Instagram. I do actually really love him. He's walking around the world.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wait, this is the guy who's been doing it for, like, 27 years.

[Tien Tran]

Is that. I just saw that guy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is a different.

[Tien Tran]

This is a different guy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is a guy who ripped off that guy.

[Tien Tran]

This is a guy who ripped off that guy.

[Maria Thayer]

How long has this guy been.

[Tien Tran]

He's been on now for. I'm trying to. I'm trying to listen to his voice in my head because I think he's like, day 798. Yeah, he's like.

[Maria Thayer]

He's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's.

[Maria Thayer]

That's impressive.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. Where is he? Where'd he start?

[Tien Tran]

He started in Australia.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Tien Tran]

And then walked up. And I think he's now in. Oh, gosh, I should know this. Georgia.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. So he got to the edge of Australia and then took a boat and walked around the boat the entire time.

[Tien Tran]

And then didn't sit down. And then. And then is now walking. It's really. It's actually really. I'm really impressed.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't know. My complaint here is, like, don't start on Australia because then you immediately have to, like, start in South America so you can walk all the way up.

[Maria Thayer]

That's what that guy get through a couple seven years.

[Tien Tran]

Oh, he started there. Yeah.

[Maria Thayer]

And he just went through, like. Like up coasts and.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. You want to start with at least two continents without any worry.

[Tien Tran]

I'll note.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, comment.

[Tien Tran]

I'll comment. You'll like it from me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Relentless. Come.

[Tien Tran]

This isn't a real walk around the world because you had to take A boat.

[Maria Thayer]

But he's going. He's going. He just wants to meet. Is he, like, going?

[Tien Tran]

No, he's not. No, he's not meeting his love. The love part is, I've just added.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I was like, oh, he has three dates a day.

[Tien Tran]

Just whoever he meets on the road.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He'S looking for someone to drive him.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Maria Thayer]

Honestly, if I did that, I would meet my love in, like, in like a week and a half.

[Tien Tran]

Oh.

[Maria Thayer]

Immediately I'd be like, I can't walk anymore. I'm in love with this guy.

[Tien Tran]

I'm really sorry I said the phrase Meet my love. Like, that's also. Meet my love is a strange thing. I've never said anything like that before. Meet my love.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Meet my love would be good. Arby's slogan.

[Tien Tran]

Meet my love.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We're trying to save the company, right?

[Tien Tran]

We are really trying to save the company. Wow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But he's walking around the world.

[Tien Tran]

He's walking around the world.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Which always feels like kind of a scam to me. Is he gonna. Does he. He should swim also?

[Tien Tran]

He's not swimming. Anytime a machine comes into him, he's not swimming.

[Bridger Weiniger]

If a machine is involved, then it's just not for me. Then it's just someone who's a little bored.

[Tien Tran]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't know.

[Tien Tran]

I'll tell him.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, again, that's not a problem.

[Tien Tran]

If a machine is involved.

[Maria Thayer]

If a machine is in, there should.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Not be a machine involved.

[Maria Thayer]

But how is there a machine involved? Cause he had to just.

[Tien Tran]

Cause he had to take, like.

[Maria Thayer]

I see.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Because, you know, he should swim.

[Maria Thayer]

I see.

[Bridger Weiniger]

He should get to the edge of the continent and say, you're pissed that.

[Tien Tran]

He'S doing just a land based.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. Yes. I need him to experience every element.

[Maria Thayer]

Yeah.

[Tien Tran]

If I'm gonna send it to you, you're gonna like it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, well, you can also just go.

[Maria Thayer]

Like, in circles around Australia until he gets into the middle of Australia.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, interesting. And then dies. And then cliffs.

[Tien Tran]

And then cliffs out.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think that's a better idea. Again, write that down.

[Tien Tran]

I am. I'm.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You have three comments so far, but they need to get meaner and more.

[Tien Tran]

Racist, so I will do that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

For the fifth one, we'll bring some.

[Tien Tran]

Listen, I will do that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, they've got a. Okay. So the. How did we. Oh, we got the spaghetti KitchenAid mixer. I do think that's a good wedding gift.

[Maria Thayer]

The KitchenAid mixer. I think that's a good gift for anyone.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God. I love tan. What are you.

[Tien Tran]

Everyone I know that has it is not using it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, they're bad people.

[Maria Thayer]

How often do you have to use it for you to feel like they're using it?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, good question.

[Tien Tran]

I feel like if you have a KitchenAid mixer that you should be using it once a quarter.

[Maria Thayer]

Once a quarter.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's a. I don't think that's asking too much.

[Tien Tran]

No, I don't think so. I don't think so either.

[Bridger Weiniger]

If you use it three times a year, then you're not using it enough.

[Tien Tran]

No, I don't think so.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Throw a fourth time in and it's like at least for every season.

[Tien Tran]

Every season you made something.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. There's like a holiday that you celebrate with your KitchenAid mixer. A cookie or a pie.

[Maria Thayer]

Just you and your KitchenAid mixer. Just celebrating the holiday that you guys used these special.

[Tien Tran]

You guys.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So do you have a KitchenAid mixer?

[Maria Thayer]

I don't.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, well, that's the problem. It's a jealousy.

[Tien Tran]

I am jealous. It's an absolute jealousy thingy thing.

[Maria Thayer]

What about a Cuisinart?

[Tien Tran]

I do have a Cuisinart.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I don't have one of those. Wait, what does that do? It just chops and dices.

[Tien Tran]

Just chops and dices.

[Maria Thayer]

Oh, my gosh. It makes dough also.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah. You can get like a dough attachment.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That seems unnatural to me. It seems like what sort of dough it is.

[Tien Tran]

Whipping it up so strong, right? Yeah, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And over. That's going to be a tough cookie.

[Tien Tran]

Yes, it is a tough cookie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's not. It's first thing is to make like a pico de gallo.

[Tien Tran]

Exactly.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. I think I own our pesto. Delicious pesto. I think I own something that's like a Cuisinart. It's just a chopper. Yeah, right. Okay. I barely use that, so I'm kind of the opposite. But you're making dough in your Cuisinart one, two time.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah, but I use it for everything else. Like I use it for sauces.

[Maria Thayer]

Right.

[Tien Tran]

Pico de gallo.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What sort of dough did you make?

[Tien Tran]

We just made cookies recently. It was a pumpkin oatmeal cookie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That sounds nice.

[Tien Tran]

It was nice.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Kind of fall based cookie.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah, it was nice.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. And Maria, I feel like you are a little more in favor of a cuisine or of a Kitchenaid. Are you making dough in your.

[Maria Thayer]

I've made. Yeah, I probably made dough and I think I made some dough. I don't remember. I think I made some dough. I made some biscuits recently and I don't know if I use the Cuisinart or not, but I I use it. I have a Cuisinart and also I have a mini Cuisinart for just small things.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, like what? A single nut?

[Maria Thayer]

Like last night I used single nut. It's not that big. Not as well. But last night I used it for a feta. A feta dip that I. Oh, I love the feta dip I made.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What's in the feta dip?

[Maria Thayer]

Well, feta, obviously. Lemon, lemon rind, garlic and a lot of pepper.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And for like a pita to dip in on.

[Maria Thayer]

No, it was for roasted squash. Oh, that's what happened for me last time.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Dipping the squash into.

[Maria Thayer]

You just put. You serve it on a bed of a whipped pita.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh. Oh, that sounds very nice.

[Maria Thayer]

And pistachios.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's amazing. Oh, my God, that sounds incredible. Was this for an event or just yourself?

[Maria Thayer]

No, a friend came over for dinner, but then he told me that he didn't like cheese, which I knew before.

[Tien Tran]

Which you knew before.

[Maria Thayer]

But he likes pizza. So I'm constantly. He's my best friend, and I'm constantly trying to push him, trick him into more cheese. Into more cheese. Cause cheese is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Cheese is a pretty universally enjoyed.

[Tien Tran]

I know. I now understand cheese.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, you now understand it because I.

[Tien Tran]

Didn'T grow up with like. I grew up eating a lot of Vietnamese food.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's not a lot of cheese based.

[Tien Tran]

You're not getting like cheesy pho.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. Which is not a bad idea.

[Maria Thayer]

I think it would be terrible.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's like a cheese beef soup. It sounds nice.

[Maria Thayer]

Does it?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Sounds like an Arby sandwich.

[Tien Tran]

It does sound like an Arby sandwich. Cheese beef soup. They serve it in the goblet. You gotta just drink it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But yeah. So when did you first start really getting into cheese?

[Tien Tran]

Like coffee? I started to understand.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And was it hard to get into?

[Tien Tran]

I was open to it. I'm open to it. And I'm still getting, like being introduced to cheeses.

[Maria Thayer]

But you're not a cheese lover yet.

[Tien Tran]

I. I think I would. I love a Brie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I love a Brie.

[Tien Tran]

Of course I love a Brie. That I can like, always be like. I love Brie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. Is there a cheese you won't do?

[Tien Tran]

No, I'll try all of them. Okay, I'll try all of them. The really stinky ones I haven't quite figured out yet.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. Those ones are. I can't imagine anyone eating those for the first time and enjoying them.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah, they're a little intense. I haven't quite gotten there yet.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I've only in the last Five years. Come around to blue cheese.

[Maria Thayer]

Oh, wow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

See?

[Tien Tran]

Yeah, me too.

[Bridger Weiniger]

See, that's a. I think that's like.

[Tien Tran]

That is like my favorite.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The beginning of the difficult cheeses, I would say. Are you a blue cheese person?

[Maria Thayer]

I would eat any cheese.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Any.

[Maria Thayer]

Any cheese at all.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Incredibly stinky cheeses. Any.

[Maria Thayer]

Any cheese.

[Tien Tran]

What's the stinkiest cheese you've ever.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, what's.

[Maria Thayer]

I don't remember names of businesses or cheeses or wines.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, fine. Can't push any harder on this, but your friend came over. You knew he didn't like cheese. You still made a cheese base.

[Tien Tran]

This is so funny.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm trying to.

[Tien Tran]

Did he like it?

[Maria Thayer]

No, he didn't. He didn't like it. I was like, yeah, fair. It's fair. And then I said. I said, do you. I said, do you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What just happened? Did something fall? Something.

[Maria Thayer]

Something cliffed.

[Tien Tran]

Something cliffed.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, this is the ghost of Chris Fleming. He was the last person in this room. And this is the gift he gave a while ago. But now. Oh, God, we're haunted. Everyone is haunted by Chris Fleming at some point.

[Tien Tran]

Oh, I love him.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, we love Chris Fleming. Except for when he's haunting a holiday episode. The ghost of podcast.

[Maria Thayer]

You haven't let go of that gun. I keep forgetting you have a gun.

[Tien Tran]

I know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's.

[Tien Tran]

Honestly, you're too casual about it.

[Maria Thayer]

It feels so.

[Tien Tran]

It feels very natural to you.

[Maria Thayer]

It's. When I.

[Tien Tran]

When I.

[Maria Thayer]

When I. My dad got me a gun that was like that, I thought about this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah.

[Maria Thayer]

I went derringer when I got into college.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And do you still own it? I can't remember.

[Maria Thayer]

No, it got stolen out of a car.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's right. Which is.

[Maria Thayer]

So I just keep myself constantly.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Because it probably has been used to kill someone.

[Tien Tran]

Oh, yes. I guess. No, for sure.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're going to be framed.

[Maria Thayer]

I didn't think about that. Like. Yeah, yeah. If someone steals the gun. Yeah, you. Huh?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, what if you came in and I had a little pink?

[Tien Tran]

I hope they deserved it. Scary.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What a mystery solved. Scary.

[Tien Tran]

Oh, my God.

[Maria Thayer]

Did someone give you that gun?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. This was given on the podcast, actually, by Lizzie Cooperman.

[Maria Thayer]

Oh, wow.

[Tien Tran]

Okay. That's really good. Did it have little.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It came with nothing. It was ultimately a bad gift by her. It should have had a bullet or a.

[Tien Tran]

A little pellet.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, pellet or something. Something.

[Maria Thayer]

What are those? They have, like, little things that make. Sounds.

[Tien Tran]

Right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What are those called? I think it's all there for us. And we know what it is. It's a. I Know what you're saying, Ellis? Do you have any idea what this sort of gun is called? It's a toy cap gun.

[Tien Tran]

Cap gun.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But this makes a satisfying click.

[Maria Thayer]

It does, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Small, I know. Fits right into a little handbag.

[Maria Thayer]

Did you have anything like that when you were growing up?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Real guns or toy guns?

[Maria Thayer]

That kind of gun? Pet gun.

[Tien Tran]

Parents wouldn't want me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, joy. Killjoys.

[Maria Thayer]

Killjoys.

[Tien Tran]

Absolute Killjoys.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We would have Nerf guns, which, you know, fire the.

[Tien Tran]

We had Super Soakers.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Super Soakers.

[Maria Thayer]

Did those hurt when you got shot?

[Tien Tran]

No. Super Soakers were just like. You fill a thing with water. It was just a water gun.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And then it would break.

[Maria Thayer]

What?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Then it would break.

[Tien Tran]

It would break almost instantly.

[Bridger Weiniger]

For one time use again, which I love. I support plastics that are one time use.

[Tien Tran]

Got it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So did you have guns? Growing little things.

[Maria Thayer]

We had guns in, but then we also had. Had like, cap guns like that. And we also had BB guns.

[Tien Tran]

Did you shoot the guns?

[Maria Thayer]

We shot them. Yeah. I shot all the guns, but. Yeah, but the BB guns. My brother shot me with a BB gun. And that hurt.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Ooh. Yeah. I mean, I grew up in a culture of guns. My brothers both had BB guns. I think at some point, my parents, there was a vibe coming from me where they're like, well, we don't need to get him one of those for Christmas. They didn't know what it was. They're like, for whatever reason, we don't think he needs a gun.

[Tien Tran]

I gone paintballing. That's like the only.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I've been paintballing.

[Tien Tran]

It sucks. Can I swear this? Yeah, it hurts. Can I swear?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No. Remind it. Take it again. Take it again.

[Tien Tran]

This is Christmas. It freaking sucks. It was part of a bachelor party.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's always part of a bachelor party.

[Tien Tran]

It's always part of a bachelor party. And, like, the only lesbian at the bachelor party. And it hurts. Yeah.

[Maria Thayer]

And probably you're, like, so scared.

[Tien Tran]

No, I was scared, but I think.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That'S kind of important. Otherwise the game is not that fun. It's important to be scared at all times of your life. To never stop worrying. Just be constantly.

[Tien Tran]

For one second, I thought I could be good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, right.

[Tien Tran]

For one second I was like, I could get low and kind of run around and hide and. No, it was absolutely.

[Maria Thayer]

The shirk shot you?

[Tien Tran]

Oh, I don't remember who.

[Maria Thayer]

And did it hurt?

[Tien Tran]

It hurt like hell.

[Maria Thayer]

And where did they shoot you?

[Tien Tran]

In my arm. Oh, my God.

[Maria Thayer]

And it bruised.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You got a welt?

[Tien Tran]

Yes. And I stopped. I was like, I. And I was like, I'm not doing this again.

[Maria Thayer]

Is it like a winner? The winner is the last person standing.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Maria Thayer]

I'll tell you, I definitely think that I would do this. If I had to play paintball, I would start out just being like, shoot me so I could get it over with.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Kill me now.

[Maria Thayer]

Kill me now. I don't want to spend. I know I'm not gonna win.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah.

[Maria Thayer]

And I don't want to spend like an hour or however long it takes being scared that someone's gonna hit me in the head with a. And like whatever and concuss me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No. That describes my end of the world opinion. Like the moment it happens, just like, okay, I'm done. I'm finished.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah. We don't need to survive for this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No. I don't wanna scavenge or defend myself in any way I can.

[Maria Thayer]

Lucid dream. So when I'm dreaming about somebody trying to kill me, I purposely run towards them and I'm not joking so I can like get it over with, you know, and then I know, like, I know it's just a dream and I'm just like, I'm just going to let this person, it's a guy always kill me, kill me and stab me or whatever, whatever he wants to do. And then I'll be over, it'll be over with this. I'm not going to run away from him.

[Tien Tran]

I know that.

[Maria Thayer]

What is a normal way?

[Tien Tran]

I don't know, problem solving.

[Maria Thayer]

Like, do you escape people in your dreams?

[Tien Tran]

Well, I'll make myself wake up. You'll just wake up. I will just wake up.

[Maria Thayer]

I'm going to wake up.

[Tien Tran]

Yes. If I, if something scary is happening, I, I remember just being like, wake up.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow.

[Tien Tran]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

All I want is to be able to lucid dream and I can't. And it's interesting to me that like within the world of like you're dreaming and you can do literally whatever you want. Someone has a gun and you don't like then become, you're like really strong.

[Tien Tran]

And like fight it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You're like turn into a T. Rex or something.

[Tien Tran]

You know what?

[Maria Thayer]

That is interesting?

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a lack of imagination.

[Maria Thayer]

It works, it works for my personality, I think.

[Tien Tran]

I think that is what I'm like.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No. I've tried to train myself to lucid dreams.

[Tien Tran]

How do you train yourself?

[Bridger Weiniger]

They tell you that like in real life you should like, if you see text or numbers, you should look at them, look away, then look at and confirm that they're still there. Because I guess you can't do that in dreams. Like in a dream. If you were to do that, you would look and it would be a different thing. You're supposed to take. Do dream journals. Barely did that. So I guess I'm not trying very hard.

[Tien Tran]

I think those things journal after you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do write down what you wrote. And I've never been able to get into it. And I want. Maybe I want it too bad.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah. You have to be a little more light touch. You can't look at it directly.

[Maria Thayer]

You have to be like, I don't.

[Tien Tran]

Really want a dream.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I can't constantly respond to the text. Take a few weeks off.

[Tien Tran]

Lucid dream. Take the hit right now.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is me. Let me. Lucid dream listener. I'm holding a gun to the camera. You're. Listen. You're missing out. Gather the TV around the computer. It's the holidays.

[Tien Tran]

The TV or holiday.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Did I say gather the TV around the computer? I'm so drunk. Gather the family around the computer. YouTube.com. okay. Well, I've given you each forks. I have this bounty of forks that I get to take home with me. Should we open the next gift? Yes.

[Maria Thayer]

I would like to see this.

[Tien Tran]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

All right. This is lighter than I expected. I was hoping for something really dense. Okay.

[Tien Tran]

Also, we just happen to have both holiday wrappings. Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How did you both. That's amazing, actually, that two people.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Totally different people. Had holiday wrapping paper.

[Tien Tran]

I didn't have to go get it.

[Maria Thayer]

That you asked to be on the holiday special.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. But for me, I would be like, oh, yeah, I have a paper bag.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Or. Oh, wow. I found some old birthday wrapping papers. So God bless both of you.

[Tien Tran]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Good Christians. That's what I'm saying. Okay. Okay. Oh, let's see. Where do. This is a. You've given me a trick box.

[Tien Tran]

I didn't think it was me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Where does the box. It should flip open to the side.

[Tien Tran]

No, it should be a little flip open.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, Dan, that's where you're wrong.

[Tien Tran]

Right there, right there, right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I have to.

[Tien Tran]

Oh, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, you're still wrong. Okay. Oh, look at that. Try to trick some different scenarios. Okay. Pull it. It. Whoa. This is interesting. Okay, this is where the podcast. It's a magical podcast. It's a pamphlet called Meats for Men.

[Tien Tran]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Is this a recipe book?

[Tien Tran]

It is a recipe book. 1954.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God.

[Tien Tran]

I believe. Does it say General Motors on the back?

[Bridger Weiniger]

On the back of the back. Let's See, Western electric.

[Tien Tran]

And it is just insane recipe.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This might have the original Arby's beef recipe.

[Tien Tran]

It honestly might. Before they lost their way, like, kind of crazy, very heavy meat board. Wow. I love. I thought you would really like it, because I feel like it just, like, kind of.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And look. Look at how these things are combined. The way this is all combined. Forks, Arby's meats.

[Tien Tran]

And I love that it's just meats for men. Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Women not allowed.

[Tien Tran]

Women not allowed.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is not for the gals.

[Tien Tran]

No. But it is for the gals to make. I believe they say something right now.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You have to say that. I knew that already.

[Tien Tran]

And then I like the two men that are on it, because those are the only ones.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The illustration's amazing.

[Tien Tran]

Yes. Those are the only type of men that exist. That exist.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. I'm both of them.

[Tien Tran]

Yes, you are.

[Bridger Weiniger]

In every one of us, there are two men. And it's both of these men.

[Tien Tran]

Yes, it's both of those men.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow. One has a bow tie. One has some sort of weird balding pattern.

[Tien Tran]

Yes. And I love that it says meats for men. And then there's a subcaption that is favorite meat dish.

[Bridger Weiniger]

18 favorite meat dishes for men with hints for hamburgers, Steaks for a man. Can tricks with leftovers. And stews fit for a king. Wow.

[Tien Tran]

And I thought of you.

[Maria Thayer]

I love that gift.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I. I have got to pull these together in some way. Let's look at these recipes. Let's see. Pot roast with vegetables. Beef stroganoff, London broil, Beef stew, beef kebab. If you've got. I feel like this is a thing. Like, if you found a discount on beef. London broil. Broiled steak.

[Tien Tran]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is. Where did this from?

[Tien Tran]

Come.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Come from?

[Tien Tran]

I found it at a little, like, vintage store. Like, force. Like, kind of like a pack of recipe books.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God.

[Tien Tran]

And I saw that, and I was like, this is perfect.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It does.

[Tien Tran]

And I bought two. And because there were two of these, this is a thing that I have found across two different things. Like, I have one for myself.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Whoa.

[Tien Tran]

That I bought at a different In Chicago. This one I found in Champagne, Illinois. Cause I was like, I will have to gift. I think I could gift this to someone. And when you texted me, I was like, this is the moment.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Now we're tied forever.

[Tien Tran]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Whenever one of us is making a beef dish, we'll.

[Maria Thayer]

No.

[Tien Tran]

I could text you and be like, do you want to do a veal broil?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do you want to do a stuffed pork chops with Banana saute.

[Tien Tran]

Exactly. No, the recipes are kind of gross.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Veal chops, California. Kind of a Mervyn's California situation. Wow. Veal loaf. Yeah. I mean, this is kind of the decade, I think, of gross recipes.

[Tien Tran]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Hints for hamburgers.

[Tien Tran]

Like barbecued hamburgers with, like, tomatoes. That looks.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, my God.

[Maria Thayer]

Those look still liquefied.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Actually.

[Tien Tran]

They look really.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. That's a mess. That's disgusting.

[Tien Tran]

It is gross.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Let's say barbecued hamburgers. This is salad oil. One of the things you need is salad oil, oil and a quarter cup of sugar. We all love our sweet burgers.

[Tien Tran]

Sweet burger. Wow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I love to bite into candy.

[Tien Tran]

Candied burgers.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Let's see here. Let's see. Tricks with leftovers. We can get a baked meat puff, a meat and cheese sandwich broil.

[Tien Tran]

I mean, they have good advice. It's good advice.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It is good. It's.

[Maria Thayer]

What is an emergency gravy?

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is brought to you by a fire truck. When gravy from the roast, you're lying on the floor bleeding, meat's too dry. I need my emergency gravy. When gravy from the roast runs short. Try this, you stupid asshole. Used canned bouillon or bouillon made from cubes for each cup. Is that how you say it, Boo?

[Tien Tran]

I think so. I think so.

[Guest Host or Character]

Or bouillon.

[Maria Thayer]

No.

[Tien Tran]

Bouillon.

[Maria Thayer]

No, I think.

[Tien Tran]

I think it's bouillon.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Bouillon. Bouillon.

[Tien Tran]

Bouillon, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Use 2 tablespoons flour mixed with a little. And that's italicized little. Don't overdo it with the cold water. Stir into bouillon and cook until thickened. So I guess it's one of these things where it's like, well, we have a tablespoon of flavor.

[Tien Tran]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Now make beef colored water.

[Tien Tran]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Which is. Which isn't for an emergency. That's in a. When your husband's mad and he wanted gravy and you're like, oh, I didn't think that far ahead. I don't know. Men. You turn to meats for men. This is unbelievable. You're a big barbecuer, aren't you?

[Tien Tran]

I'm a big barbecuer, so this is kind of normal.

[Maria Thayer]

I'm a big barbecuer.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah. Yeah. I love. I kind of love meat meats.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Did it start with Damon's?

[Tien Tran]

It didn't start with Damon's. Like, my growing up the weekend, my parents loved doing, like, Vietnamese barbecue. And so, like, from there, I've just always kind of loved. Like, my mom would make incredible ribs and chicken wings. In like a fish sauce sort of based marinade.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Genuinely so hungry. It's lunchtime.

[Tien Tran]

It's lunchtime. And then I would. I loved grilling.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, okay.

[Tien Tran]

And so I still.

[Maria Thayer]

And what is it called? Not sauteing? What is it when you put meat in a sauce?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Marinade.

[Maria Thayer]

Marinade.

[Tien Tran]

Marinade. And yes, I love a marinade.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So how often are you cooking a big meat meal?

[Tien Tran]

I mean, my wife would like it to be less, but it is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, she's not a man.

[Tien Tran]

No, she's not a man.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So she's on the right path.

[Tien Tran]

She is on the right path. Probably like, I think I grill probably like once a week.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's amazing.

[Tien Tran]

Is that crazy?

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, I think that's good.

[Tien Tran]

Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I think that I would love for somebody to grill for me once a week.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah, I think I do. I think I do do that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow. And do you have like a famous recipe? Do you say, here comes Tien's famous blank?

[Tien Tran]

I have a dad adapted. I can't make the ribs to taste exactly like my mom's because you never can. It's so hard. But that is, like, amongst my friends, that's the one that is the one that people remember.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What sort of things are you putting in the ingredients?

[Tien Tran]

The marinade? So it's brown sugar, honey.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Maria Thayer]

Yes.

[Tien Tran]

Soy sauce, low sodium soy sauce, and a little bit of a little dark soy sauce.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Why low sodium?

[Tien Tran]

I think that's just me trying to be like, heart healthy. Heart healthy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Maria Thayer]

Even though it's meat.

[Tien Tran]

Even though it's. Even though it's red meat.

[Maria Thayer]

On a grill like that, you can't have too much. I gotta watch something.

[Tien Tran]

I gotta take care of something.

[Maria Thayer]

That all makes sense.

[Tien Tran]

I understand. And a little fish sauce.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Tien Tran]

For that little, like, kind of ineffable funkiness.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right.

[Tien Tran]

And then onions, garlic, salt and pepper. What about some indigenous and a little ketchup?

[Maria Thayer]

Oh, ketchup.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Ketchup, Right.

[Tien Tran]

A little ketchup.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That makes sense. Within a. Like a barbecue sauce.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah. And it's like very. A little sweet, little savory. And. Yeah, I used to make it all the time and I still do, but that is what I like to make.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm so jealous. Do you grill at all?

[Maria Thayer]

Well, I have a grill.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Maria Thayer]

I. I don't.

[Tien Tran]

I. You just turn it on once in a while.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's how you look at it.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah, yeah.

[Maria Thayer]

No, I. But I have started to get into, like, I've gotten it. And I wanted to ask you where you get your meats, because I've started To, like, go in different places to get meats. Like, you know, like meats that are.

[Tien Tran]

That are raised on little farms and stuff.

[Bridger Weiniger]

McCall's.

[Tien Tran]

McCall's Cookbook. We've talked about that cookbook. And Lazy Acres is the other place.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That I. Oh, Lazy Acres. Which is kind of of Bristol Farms junior.

[Tien Tran]

Yes, it is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah. So that is where I'm getting good meats.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Good meats. Good meats. Well, I'm thrilled about this. I'm absolutely over the moon. I'm going to have to have some sort of beef party. Forks for everyone.

[Tien Tran]

A beef party.

[Maria Thayer]

Will you invite women, though, or do you want.

[Tien Tran]

Are we just making it for you?

[Bridger Weiniger]

You'll be. Yeah. You'll be behind the scenes. You will not be seen. You will leave before the food is served.

[Tien Tran]

House vibes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Once the meat is ready, the lights go out, everyone. Suddenly there's a plate of food in front of them. The women have vanished.

[Tien Tran]

I love this. This sounds good for us, ultimately.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's good for you too.

[Tien Tran]

It's good for me too.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm giving here. I'm giving and I'm giving and I'm giving. And all that you two do is take. It's kind of gross, ultimately. Well, I'm gonna put this here. I think we should play a game.

[Tien Tran]

Oh, okay.

[Maria Thayer]

Oh, great.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We're gonna play a game called Gift or a curse. Do you two have anything to promote or recommend? It is the holidays. I'm willing to give you a chance to do something for yourselves.

[Tien Tran]

I will be in San Francisco doing San Francisco sketchfest at the end of January. So if you're in San Francisco, come see a stand up show.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that's great.

[Tien Tran]

At the end of January and end of January. January 31st.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, listener, if you don't do that, then what are you doing?

[Tien Tran]

Yeah, what are you doing?

[Bridger Weiniger]

If you live in the Bay Area, come on, get on the bart.

[Tien Tran]

Get on the bart.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Go.

[Tien Tran]

Come to puncture.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Get on the trolley.

[Tien Tran]

Get on the trolley. I love this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do an entirely track based way to get there.

[Tien Tran]

Don't take away mo. Get to me through tracks.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay. Maria, do you have anything?

[Maria Thayer]

Well, I feel like it's. The things that I have to promote are not coming out recently. So I just feel like.

[Tien Tran]

No.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, but you're on Instagram. You're on all sorts of good film and tv.

[Tien Tran]

Yep. Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Somebody types Maria Thayer into Google. Go on a journey.

[Maria Thayer]

They'll have some stuff. Yes, go on a journey. There's some old stuff. There's gonna be some new stuff. I think I might be on an episode. Well, I don't know. You know what?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I like that.

[Maria Thayer]

I'm not promoting anything now.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Someone's gonna watch every single episode of television looking for it.

[Maria Thayer]

I'm gonna have an episode of television very soon. That you know.

[Tien Tran]

Oh, I can't wait.

[Maria Thayer]

There's a movie coming out at some point.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Maria Thayer]

Hell yeah. I wrote on a television show that's coming out in a months, I guess. I don't know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Anyway, the people that you're working for are not happy with you right now.

[Maria Thayer]

They were already not happy with you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right now. They're busily trying to edit you out of this.

[Maria Thayer]

It's just too far away.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right, Right.

[Tien Tran]

You know that feeling?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I tried to give you a nice little.

[Maria Thayer]

You did. You did. You did a really lovely.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I did something very nice.

[Maria Thayer]

You did something very nice.

[Tien Tran]

You were.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm a Mrs. Claus type.

[Tien Tran]

You are.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You are Mrs. Claus type. But we should play the game.

[Maria Thayer]

Okay, good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm going to name three things. You'll tell me if they're a gift or a curse and why. Then I'll tell you if you're right or wrong. Because there are correct answers and you two are competing against each other.

[Tien Tran]

Oh, no. Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So this could destroy.

[Maria Thayer]

Yes. I told you that I would run right into the army as soon as I can. So that's how competitive I am.

[Bridger Weiniger]

All right, well, be very careful. Okay. This first one is from a listener named Noah. And these are all holiday themed. Isn't that fun? For a holiday episode, Noah has suggested gift or a curse. Cinnamon scented pine cones.

[Tien Tran]

Cinnamon scented pine cones.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Uh huh.

[Tien Tran]

I have my answer.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, who wants to go?

[Maria Thayer]

I'll go curse.

[Tien Tran]

Oh.

[Maria Thayer]

A gun was just pointed at me.

[Tien Tran]

No.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It'S high stakes.

[Tien Tran]

No, it is high stakes.

[Maria Thayer]

I blacked out. Did I even say my answer?

[Tien Tran]

You did.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Honestly, within four hours.

[Maria Thayer]

A curse. Penguins already smell good enough. They don't need anything.

[Tien Tran]

Oh, that's my same.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, both of you are cursed.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah, I would say curse as well. Because I'm just like, why add. If I get the pine cone, I'm getting the pine cone for the pine cone smell.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right? Right.

[Maria Thayer]

Usually I like pine better than cinnamon.

[Tien Tran]

Me too.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Interesting.

[Tien Tran]

I do too.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wrong.

[Maria Thayer]

Wow.

[Tien Tran]

God.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Whether you stepped on a pine cone with a bare foot before.

[Maria Thayer]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This disgusting cinnamon scent is a great way to alert you that you're coming up on a pineapple pine cone that's rolling around on the ground. It fell off of the display. Or in your robe early morning. If it were just pine, you Would probably confuse it with the Christmas tree and think nothing's wrong. You smell that disgusting cinnamon? You know something's wrong. You're able to go and pick it up off the floor.

[Maria Thayer]

What about pine cones that smell like pine but they scream? They scream all the time. Or like they make sounds?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, interesting. Kind of a battery powered pine cone.

[Tien Tran]

Oh, I like that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I would be into that.

[Maria Thayer]

Okay, okay. So that's okay. I'd be.

[Tien Tran]

What is it saying?

[Maria Thayer]

You have it say whatever you want.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It screams, kill me.

[Maria Thayer]

Cliff me. Cliff me.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, you both got that wrong.

[Maria Thayer]

Damn it.

[Tien Tran]

Said to hear, I disagree.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Me too. Of course you disagree. You got it wrong and you're a sore loser.

[Tien Tran]

God damn it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It is the holidays. Try to be in a better mood. Okay, this next one is from a listener named Casey. Gift or a curse? White elephant gift exchange.

[Tien Tran]

I can go first this time I'm gonna say gift.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Why?

[Tien Tran]

Because I like the element of surprise. And I know people. Like with is white elephant, the one where you just put it in the middle and then everyone takes it one at a time and then you can steal someone else's gifts. Yeah, I like that. I like the addition of sort of anger and drama into a sort of gift giving element. Like, I like. I like the way that, like, I did it once with my family and I ended up with the gift that I brought, which is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, interesting. Huge waste of time.

[Tien Tran]

Which is a huge waste of time. But I loved it. I loved every second of it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What was the gift?

[Tien Tran]

It was a cocktail. It was honestly not a great gift. I understand why it was left on the table. It was a cocktail. Recipe book.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, interesting.

[Tien Tran]

But honestly helpful.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But no one drowning in recipe books.

[Tien Tran]

I am. I love that them interesting. I love recipe books.

[Bridger Weiniger]

All right, so gift, gift, gift. Why?

[Maria Thayer]

Well, because it's a gift. It's literally a gift. And I'm a literalist.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wrong.

[Tien Tran]

I knew you curse.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I hate these things. I hate. I think about it last minute. I find something in the closet that's neither useful or fun. It's just junk. I take it to the party. I see something I actually want. The one person that brought something nice, probably a gift card. $25 gift card. I want it so bad. I become very competitive to get it. I don't get it. I drive home from every white elephant exchange in tears.

[Maria Thayer]

Oh, gosh.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Horrible.

[Tien Tran]

Wow.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They're bad.

[Maria Thayer]

That is.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah. There was one. I. There was one at my office when I worked in advertising. And there was. The boss had put in an ipod. That's like cruel.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That is very cruel.

[Tien Tran]

That is very cruel.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's like Hunger Games.

[Tien Tran]

Yes. If everyone is doing 50 and under, you can't just drop in an ipod and. God, I can still picture the faces of my co workers getting the ipod stolen from them and being handed like socks. It's tough.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That would ruin the holidays.

[Tien Tran]

It would ruin the holidays.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I hope it went to a good home. Or was it one of your least favorite co workers?

[Tien Tran]

Yeah, I think it was one of my least favorite. I think it was the woman who had two rats as pets.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, God. Well, she needed something.

[Tien Tran]

She needed something.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Something to take home.

[Tien Tran]

And rats and pets are good. I don't want the rat, kind of. So I don't want the rat community to come after me. I've had it happen before.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I've had them come after me before.

[Tien Tran]

I've had it happen before. And rats are really smart.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Let's say some good things about rats.

[Tien Tran]

Rats are really small. They aren't.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They're. They are rodents.

[Tien Tran]

The rodents.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You can name them.

[Maria Thayer]

They're not cockroaches.

[Tien Tran]

Yes. They're not cockroaches.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's the rat ad campaign. They're not cockroaches.

[Tien Tran]

They, from certain angles, are cute.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. I can see why someone would love a rat. I can also, for myself, see why it would be the most horrifying creature on the tail. For me, the tail is a horrible TR Move.

[Tien Tran]

It's the hit. It's the tail for me as well, but it's the tail for you. That's good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

If it's the tail for you, then it is weird. I can understand the rest of the rat.

[Tien Tran]

Please protect us from the rat community.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We love our rat owners.

[Tien Tran]

Oh, God.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I just have a deep trauma with rats, and I have a hard time.

[Tien Tran]

Wait, what is it from?

[Bridger Weiniger]

I had a rat as a first grader, and it escaped and went to live in the garage as a rabid animal and had a tragic end. And then the betrayal. The idea of rabies and then becoming a disease carriers just stayed with me for the rest of my life. And ultimately, it was my mom's fault. Splinter. Because I wanted a ninja turtle. My mom thought I would get salmonella from a turtle, so she thought, let's get him a rat. I've talked with her about this, and I've made sure she. It was a bad parenting move. She knows. Okay, so you both have gotten zero. Oh, God. All right, this final one is from Kathleen. Gift or curse Vegan egg nog.

[Maria Thayer]

I. I guess I don't know this one is this one. I could go either way.

[Tien Tran]

I know. Me too.

[Maria Thayer]

I guess I don't like eggnog. I. I think eggnog is a curse. Personal curse. I wouldn't say it's a curse for everyone. It's a personal curse. And I'm gonna say it's. It's a, you know, gift. I don't know. It's just a gift. It's a gift to have a choice of eggnog.

[Tien Tran]

Okay, Tia, I'm gonna say curse.

[Maria Thayer]

Oh, good.

[Tien Tran]

Keep it pure. Some things don't need a vegan version. Some things don't need a vegan version. And I want eggs in my eggnog.

[Maria Thayer]

That is spoken like a true meat eater. I know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I know.

[Tien Tran]

So bad.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm sorry.

[Tien Tran]

No, I love that you can have a choice. But for this, I'm gonna say curse.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a gift. It's a gift. It's a gift. This is the only way I'll drink my eggnog. And I'm a dairy heavy person, but I don't like the. I don't even know if it actually has eggsnog.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah. Does it?

[Bridger Weiniger]

But it has the word there and then it's so thick. And the dairyness of it. It all is horrifying. But for whatever reason, when we say almond milk or oatmeal milk with those flavors, I think it's a delightful beverage. I think that's the only way I'll drink an eggnog is if it's not dairy based. And I drink milk every single day. What? That's something wrong with me.

[Maria Thayer]

What? Wait.

[Tien Tran]

I also.

[Maria Thayer]

I'll circle back to, I drink milk every day. Wait.

[Tien Tran]

But I also drink milk every day.

[Maria Thayer]

But when you.

[Tien Tran]

When you say it out loud, it does sound freaky, like, in cereal or.

[Maria Thayer]

Like, in a glass of milk.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We've been trying. Look, someone was trying to shame us out of drinking milk. And I'm standing up and I'm saying, look, I eat cookie. I need milk.

[Tien Tran]

Me too.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I'm sorry.

[Maria Thayer]

So. Okay. I understand. Cereal every day.

[Tien Tran]

Sometimes I have like a. I don't know. Like this morning I had an RX bar.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Tien Tran]

And a glass of milk.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. With water. Can you imagine that? Feels like you were, like, stranded.

[Tien Tran]

Yes.

[Maria Thayer]

I haven't drank milk since I was a kid.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Wow.

[Maria Thayer]

I mean, unless it's like I have a chocolate chip cookie and somebody. It's just like the perfect thing is happening.

[Tien Tran]

Okay. Okay.

[Bridger Weiniger]

So if you had a chocolate chip cookie every day, you would drink milk every day.

[Maria Thayer]

Do you have a chocolate chip cookie every day?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Almost. I have some type of cookie every single day. So.

[Tien Tran]

I love this. I love this so much.

[Maria Thayer]

That makes me so happy. Oh, I love. Do you make these cookies? I don't wanna do real.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, this is something. I will make a batch of dough and then I freeze, you know, because if I had a bunch of cookies, I would eat all of them at the same time. So the listeners like. Shut up, Bridger. We know. But I will make. Make the dough, turn it into balls, freeze it, and then bake myself one cookie every night. My boyfriend Jim used to have one cookie as well. He doesn't know how good he has it. He's now eating those ice cream sandwiches from Trader Joe's every night, which I recently discovered. The cookies and cream ones are pretty good.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah, they're pretty good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

The other one, I don't. I could. The chocolate cookie one doesn't work. Oh, the mini cones I've heard are good. I haven't had them.

[Tien Tran]

They're really good.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But I. Every night a cookie unless I run out, then I. I'll always have a backup of like frozen something from the store or just in case I need a treat every night.

[Tien Tran]

No, I love this and I feel like. Fits perfectly. Something about it. Yeah, something about it.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Something about it. It's just perfect.

[Tien Tran]

Yes, it's perfect.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Do you two not finish the day with a treat?

[Tien Tran]

I do.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay, what's your treat?

[Tien Tran]

Sometimes a little chocolate, a little dark.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Chocolate that I. Classy, sophisticated. Yeah.

[Tien Tran]

Okay, take it. Okay. A dark chocolate or a little Trader Joe's mini cone.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Tien Tran]

I do love that.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I need a treat at the end of the day. It's a reward.

[Tien Tran]

It is a reward.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Something you can always count on. Maria, what are you.

[Maria Thayer]

I don't know. I'm rethinking things, though.

[Tien Tran]

Just a little treat.

[Maria Thayer]

Yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It doesn't have to be an extravagant thing. It could be a lifesaver. Yeah, that would be sad.

[Tien Tran]

That would be sad.

[Maria Thayer]

I love lifesaver.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, but the last thing you have before bed, you have a single lifesaver.

[Tien Tran]

No, that's a tough thing to think about.

[Maria Thayer]

It'd be hard for me to have the self control. I would have to do what you do.

[Bridger Weiniger]

See, this is something I had to learn because there was no self control whatsoever. But I'm having my milk. I'm having my cookie. Everyone's going crazy about protein these days. I get a little protein with the milk. Okay, look, I'm with the Dairy Council. Sue me, you guys.

[Tien Tran]

One cup of milk is like 10 grams of protein.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This now feels like sponsored coffee. And unfortunately, it's not like something we even get something free from. They're not gonna send us a gallon of milk. That's not something I want on my porch.

[Tien Tran]

No.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Maybe a subscription to a milkman. Imagine having a milkman deliver a bottle of milk every morning.

[Tien Tran]

Oh, my God.

[Bridger Weiniger]

How old fashioned would that be?

[Tien Tran]

How charming.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's very. Meat for Men does that.

[Tien Tran]

That is very meat for men.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, yeah, I'm sure that exists.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah, I'm sure it does too. Like Oberweis. I feel like probably does it in.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Interesting.

[Tien Tran]

Sorry, dropped a milk name. What's it called? Ober. Oberweis.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oberweis. This sounds fancy.

[Tien Tran]

Milk. You can buy it at. Is it the glass milk?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, out of a glass bottle. Nothing better.

[Tien Tran]

Nothing better.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, unfortunately, Tien, we've come together on a lot of things in the last few moments, but you did lose the game.

[Tien Tran]

I did lose.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Maria won. She got one out of three, which is bad. So you lost to a loser. Merry Christmas. Okay, we should answer at least one listener question. The unfortunate thing about this podcast is people write into I saidnogift gmail.com and they often have Christmas questions, but they often come in after we've recorded for the holidays, so then they don't get their answers. So we should answer at least one Christmas question. Let's see here. And then I open it and I'm immediately like, what? Who cares? Let's see here. I thought I had the holiday ones. Oh, here we go. Let's see. Okay. Hello. Bridger and guest. So unfortunately, it doesn't. It's just one of you. You should probably both feel free to speak. It says as the holidays. What?

[Tien Tran]

Sorry, Excuse me.

[Maria Thayer]

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

[Tien Tran]

Excuse us. We were trying to decide who was guest.

[Maria Thayer]

Who was the guest.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, okay. I'll throw a knife between the two of you and let you figure it out. As the holidays grow nearer, I realize we are in a bind. My family buys alcohol as the default gift for everyone. To me, this is not an issue at all and is actually a welcome gift. However, my husband is newly in recovery. He does not want to draw attention to this fact, but also does not want to get a bottle each from my parents, brother and sister to tempt him. How do we mention this to my family that we would greatly appreciate if they stray from their tradition of easy gifts of whiskey and get a non alcohol. Thank you so much. That's from Emily. So this is a. This is an actual question, which is surprising.

[Tien Tran]

Emily. I think you just tell them, but.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It feels like this is.

[Tien Tran]

I don't know what the family dynamic.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, troubled family, troubled group of people.

[Tien Tran]

I don't know what the family's giving you.

[Maria Thayer]

Alcohol.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, they don't communicate. They're all drunk all the time.

[Tien Tran]

Congratulations to your husband marrying into this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Horrible group of people.

[Maria Thayer]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They're all, like, set off by the.

[Tien Tran]

Smallest thing, the smallest change.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah, they're horrible with change. They just want whiskey and to keep living the lives they're already living. So how do we get them? I think I know.

[Tien Tran]

Well, first I would be like, Emily, go to therapy.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Go to therapy. Okay.

[Tien Tran]

Learn about how to set boundaries.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is your fault, Emily.

[Tien Tran]

No, no, no, no, you're right, you're right.

[Bridger Weiniger]

No, it's her fault. Everything here is Emily's fault. She brought this husband in who she's tiptoeing around his feelings. She's tiptoeing around her drunk family's feelings.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bridger Weiniger]

And she's writing into podcasts for help.

[Maria Thayer]

Thank God.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's like, what. What are we supposed to do with this person?

[Tien Tran]

Okay, I have an.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You've got an answer.

[Tien Tran]

So I have. I do like to drink, but also, when I do, like, also. Lot of also do I. I'm going to keep saying also, that's your last also. And then you'll be asked to leave non alcoholic drinks.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Tien Tran]

I actually do really, like, there's a whole new industry. There's a whole new industry. And I feel like, Emily, you should just pick the non alcoholic drinks that you think your husband will like and send them to, like, make the gift shopping easy. Already have it picked out. Because if you send. If you tell drinkers or this family of gift givers that, like, go buy non alcoholic. I could, I could hear them being like, where would I get that right? You know, like where.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. They're already so mad.

[Tien Tran]

They're already so mad.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Mad and lazy.

[Tien Tran]

They're mad and lazy. They don't want to do that research. Where am I going to get that non alcoholic. Is it in the same aisle? You know, like, you can just hear them like, oh, look at him.

[Maria Thayer]

I guess he doesn't want to. He doesn't want Jim Beam.

[Tien Tran]

So true. So true.

[Maria Thayer]

I also, like, I feel like, I feel like, I wonder if, like, she said that she didn't want to draw attention to. Is that what it was?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Let's see. He doesn't want to draw attention to the fact.

[Maria Thayer]

But then you have to.

[Tien Tran]

You have to.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, again, it's communication, which this family fails at every year. But I think maybe. Well, unfortunately, it's an unsolvable problem. There's no way this can be solved outside of Emily. Maybe buying a box of, like, a Sprite and wrapping it up and avoiding the family this year. Sprite. 12 cans of Sprite. Sprite Zero. Sprite, Cranberry, Sprite, ginger, Sprite Regular. Sprite Regular.

[Maria Thayer]

He'll take that if that's.

[Tien Tran]

If he gets some Sprite.

[Maria Thayer]

I think that's dangerous.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, I think that unfortunately, we've determined Emily has an unsolvable issue.

[Tien Tran]

I'm worried about these holidays.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's a shame to hear that. But not everyone can have a good holiday. That's the thing.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah. We never promised to solve. No, no, no. We're just here. We kind of just listen.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Right. And there's so many of us. If everyone had a good holiday, I don't know if the energy would be too much.

[Tien Tran]

No, it would be too much.

[Bridger Weiniger]

At least one person should have a horrible family and a husband that's mad at them.

[Tien Tran]

Beautifully said.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We answered that perfectly. And now I've got my forks, I've got my meat recipes. I've just spent two hours with my two best friends. I did bring you each a gift. This is kind of rare. I thought about each of your personalities. You'll know as soon as you open these. And. Okay, this is for you.

[Maria Thayer]

They're beautifully wrapped.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They're beautifully wrapped.

[Tien Tran]

Beautifully wrapped.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Trader Joe's bags.

[Tien Tran]

And Trader Joe's did the holiday themed bag.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Holiday themed bags. This is very nice. Feel free to open them here on the podcast. Okay, let's see here.

[Tien Tran]

Go ahead. God of War.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You got a copy of God of War 3 for the PlayStation 3. I knew you would love this.

[Maria Thayer]

Do you have a PlayStation 3?

[Tien Tran]

No.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I know. I saw that. I saw that at the store. I was at the store sweating, panicking. I had looked at so many things. I thought, that looks kind of like T. And then I saw this, and I thought, she needs God of War through.

[Tien Tran]

Yes. Because I've done this makeup look recently.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. You had a big red stripe across your face.

[Tien Tran]

You had a red stripe across my face. In the end, there will only be chaos.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's kind of. That actually makes sense for you. That makes sense for you. And so play it in good spirits. That's something. You can gather the family or the TV around the family.

[Tien Tran]

Yes.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Or the family around the TV and fire it up and just get into God of Wars 3.

[Tien Tran]

Wow. Thank you so much.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Of course, of course. And Maria, let's see what you got.

[Maria Thayer]

Oh, the receipt is still in it. That's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, there's still a receipt. That's probably a Trader Joe's receipt.

[Maria Thayer]

Oh, the Wire.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You got season one of the Wire on dvd. I thought, why not? Everyone loves the Wire. Physical media is on its way back.

[Tien Tran]

It is on its way back.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Classic TV show. Oh, wait, season one. There are more seasons.

[Maria Thayer]

Oh, I don't remember what happens in this season.

[Bridger Weiniger]

There's a lot of drama.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah.

[Maria Thayer]

It's a perfect holiday.

[Bridger Weiniger]

This is, of course, this is a Christmas Day binge.

[Tien Tran]

Yeah, it's Elf and the Wire, season one.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's a Trader Joe's recipe.

[Maria Thayer]

Not for this.

[Bridger Weiniger]

What was purchased.

[Maria Thayer]

This is from Trader Joe's.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Okay.

[Maria Thayer]

And I'm gonna. It's a granola. This is now part of my gift.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes. That should be framed.

[Maria Thayer]

You got it says granola protein, peanut, bee.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, I love that. Have you had the protein? Excellent. Granola.

[Maria Thayer]

Pumpkin, Whole Org. Pumpkin.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Oh, that was for our dog's diarrhea.

[Maria Thayer]

Well, this is.

[Bridger Weiniger]

That's. You know, you're buying pumpkin when your dog has. This is a holiday trick.

[Tien Tran]

Bonnie.

[Bridger Weiniger]

When your dog. When Bonnie has. You have a dog in Bonnie as well. We just learned this. We both have a Bonnie.

[Maria Thayer]

Yes.

[Tien Tran]

Oh, that's really special.

[Bridger Weiniger]

But when your own personal Bonnie has diarrhea, you give them a couple scoops of pumpkin for a few days and then clears it up. Bonnie recently had the worst diarrhea I've ever seen. Seen.

[Tien Tran]

We had lunch recently and you opened our lunch that way.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yes, I said before you take a bite. While you take a bite, let me tell you something. I've got pictures, but you both have these gorgeous gifts.

[Maria Thayer]

Thank you so much.

[Bridger Weiniger]

You can't thank me enough, obviously. And I can't thank you enough, obviously. I'm excited for you both to go on those journeys, and I am so thrilled. And you also, let's not forget, I gave you both forks.

[Maria Thayer]

Yes, that's right.

[Tien Tran]

Thank you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I have forks. I have meats for men. I've had such a lovely time with you two here.

[Tien Tran]

I had a lovely time with you.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Happy holidays. Happy Older Drivers Awareness Week. That's at the beginning of December. That will be okay. You have a year to prepare for older drivers Safe awareness. We've passed it.

[Tien Tran]

We've passed it.

[Maria Thayer]

Oh, I didn't do anything.

[Bridger Weiniger]

It's been busy this year. It's been a hectic year.

[Maria Thayer]

Any of the older drivers. I know, I know.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They're probably all dead now. Oh, I hate to hear it, but find some more older drivers and make sure they're safe at the beginning of December 2026.

[Tien Tran]

Is it? That's what it is, yes.

[Maria Thayer]

Is that really a thing?

[Bridger Weiniger]

Older Drivers Safety Awareness Week. Yes, of course. It's a real thing. What are you talking about? You probably. You must not have gone to church growing up.

[Tien Tran]

I did nothing but go to church.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Well, I don't know what church you were going to, but, you know, not Christian. But thank you both for being here. I think we should have some more snow. Listener. I'm yelling over the snow. The podcast is over. Happy holidays. God bless. Bless us, Mary. Gentlemen, what is it? God bless us, everyone.

[Tien Tran]

God bless us.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Tiny Tim says he's just manipulative.

[Tien Tran]

Little boy is. He could walk. Sorry.

[Bridger Weiniger]

We know that cane was for show. The cane was for show.

[Tien Tran]

The cane was for show. And he could.

[Bridger Weiniger]

They were manipulating that wonderful Scrooge.

[Tien Tran]

They were manipulating that very rich man.

[Maria Thayer]

That big ham.

[Bridger Weiniger]

Yeah. All Scrooge wanted to do was be left alone, and suddenly his family is making him feel bad about trying to run a small business. Disgusting. All right. I love all of you. Goodbye.

[Maria Thayer]

Goodbye.

[Bridger Weiniger]

I said no Gifts is an exactly right production. Our senior producer is Annelise Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Tolliday. The theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann. And we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cotner. You must follow the show on Instagram at I said no gifts. That's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see the gifts?

[Guest Host or Character]

Well, I invited you here. Thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you gotta come to me empty handed. I said no guests. Your presence is present enough. And I already had too much stuff. So how do you dare disobey me?

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