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Hi diva. It's Rachel and Jordan. Yeah, hi. Quick question. Why are you not spending your Venmo balance? Yeah, we're concerned you can like, buy stuff with it. Ugh. You love buying stuff and earn cash back on eligible purchases. Mm. You love purchasing eligible things. So the money your friend sent you yesterday, that's today's ramen or rideshare or eye patches. The skincare kind, not the pyro kind. Spend with Venmo, then you can earn cash back with Venmo Stash. Venmo Stash bundle terms and exclusions apply. That's $100 cash back per month. See terms@venmo me terms, ID verification required. To use a Venmo balance, you can. You guys know parasocial relationships? We all do. I feel like this day and age, it's not uncommon to feel like you have a parasocial relationship with your favorite influencer, favorite YouTuber, whatever the case is. But whether you think you have a parasocial relationship with a person or not, you are going to be shocked when you see their name in the headlines because they have been charged with murder. In October of 2021, police were called to the 35th floor of the Spire San Diego Luxury Apart located in downtown San Diego. On the call, at one point, you can hear a man's voice saying, quote, yes ma', am, my wife and another man were. I found them dead on the couch. Please help my wife. Please help my wife. He's crying. Or it sounds like he's crying when he says, quote, I saw my wife on the couch with blood coming from her head. I don't know who he is. I mean, I know who he is. His name is Ray. Pretty shocking call, right? Nothing prepares you to hear a sentence like that. And no amount of police training can really prepare you to walk into a crime scene such as that one. When authorities arrived, they made their way up to the high rise building and inside they found two people shot dead on the couch. 28 year old Anna Abulabon, a mother to a five year old daughter, a wife soon to be ex wife because she was in the middle of finalizing her divorce and and a woman who had spent years trying to leave a violent, toxic marriage. And 29 year old Rayburn Cardenas Barron, a close friend who had done nothing wrong except be in the wrong place at the wrong time. And the man on the phone who gave Ray's name to authorities, he didn't sound confused on the phone really. He was very upfront about the situation. In fact, he was so sure, because he was the man who pulled the trigger. Ali Abulabon, a TikTok star with over 1 million followers responsible for murdering his soon to be ex wife, the mother of his child, in a case that if I can't have her, no one will. But to understand the events that took place leading up to that day, we have to go back. So welcome to this episode of I wish you were here. I'm your host, Michelle Cuervo. Ali Abulabon, he's a Middle Eastern man. He was a first generation Muslim American, also the oldest out of his siblings. And he was raised in what would be described as a pretty tight knit but very strict family. He was the kind of guy that gave off a first impression of being funny. Naturally charismatic people were attracted to him. Like generally an easygoing guy that was incredibly easy to talk to. But Ali would say that he presented himself that way on purpose because the friends that he made throughout his childhood and going into his adulthood were different than him. And he knew that his dad was raising him and his siblings to be Muslim. And that was something that was repeated to him over and over and over again. Bringing up their Muslim culture and not letting his children forget that they were Muslim and not American was something that the father never wanted them to forget. He never wanted them to think that they were American because according to him, he absolutely refused to raise American children. So Ali felt different at times. He would find himself feeling like he didn't belong. So his thing became being the funny guy. He would make fun of himself before someone else had the chance to. And he tried overall to not take life too seriously, given that his home life was always serious and was always strict because of his father. Every time that he got in trouble, nothing was just ever a simple talking to. I mean, everything was an explosion, anger. It was a common thing to be yelled at by his dad. It was almost expected because it happened so often. But I don't want you guys to get confused because after the events of today's case, Ali talks about his rough upbringing and his childhood and his strict father. But while he did feel different, he also had a massive ego. He. He felt different. So he adjusted his personality to make people around him like him. Right? But in the same breath, he also always felt like he was destined for something bigger. Fame. Fame was something that Ali craved his entire life. More on that later. Anyway, because of his situation at home, it comes to no one's surprise that the first chance that Ali had to move away, he did. And in 2014, he joined the United States military. Anna Marie is from the Philippines. She was the daughter of a family rooted in the close knit American military community there. She has been described to be a warm, loving, strong person who was the best at making everyone around her feel seen. She was also very smart. She had a degree from the Technological University of the Philippines. And from a very young age, Anna was always deeply loyal, sometimes to a fault, but she got that from her family. Her family dynamic was very, very close. And spending quality time with her family was the most important thing in the world to Anna. So like I said, she was a military kid. She was living in Okinawa, Japan. Ally was also stationed in Okinawa, and that was when the two of them met in 2014. According to Anna's friend, Anna was almost immediately attracted to Ali because of his, quote, unquote, big personality. Kayla, another one of Anna's friends, added, quote, I think she saw someone that was successful, that had a good head on his shoulders, he had a good ranking in the military, and they had a lot of laughter and love. And Ali took one look at Ana and he fell in love. I mean, from everything that her friends and family members have said about her, it does sound like she was the kind of girl or the kind of woman and that you would see out in public. You would take one look at her and then you would think about her for the rest of your life. She was absolutely beautiful, not only on the inside, but also on the outside. And she had this special kind of genuineness from her that radiated off of her. And Ali noticed and he liked that a lot. He saw her and literally said, yep, I want her. She is going to be mine. So it worked out because there was a mutual attraction. They had a lot of things in common, and it was easy for them to begin building a foundation that would essentially be the start to their relationship. Anna introduced him to her friends, friends that she had grown up with. They would all hang out and go out together. And I mean, I'm sure we've all experienced this. You introduce your partner to your family when you're in this sort of fun, happy honeymoon stage and it's all fun and games, everyone's happy until all of a sudden they're not. So there would be times when they would all go out together and they would be having a blast and everyone's standing around, talking, whatever, having a good time, and all of a sudden Ollie would be like, yeah, so fun. Okay, let's go now. We're ready to leave. And Anna would be like, oh, I was. I mean, I was having fun with my friends. I'm not really ready to go yet. But Ollie would get so impatient so fast, and it would turn from, hey, should we go? To, we are leaving right now. Let's go. And he would grab her arm and try to pull her away. Her friends noticed that kind of behavior, because, of course they did. And they also noticed other patterns starting to emerge in regards to Ali's behavior. But the first big setback that their relationship faced was when Ali was discharged from the military. This was following a drunken altercation with. It was either Anna or one of Anna's friends. I've read reports on both, but they were out. And he got. Like he often did. He got really impatient. And people reported that Ali had gone physical and. And was pushing and fighting, clearly having zero control on his anger issues. He would also apparently get really, really bothered anytime that anyone would comment on Anna's looks and. Or. And. Or how lucky of a guy he was to have someone like Anna. There was a very controlling nature about him that felt like really started to take over him. And he was very possessive over Anna. For example, he started picking up her phone when her friends would call her to speak to her. Like, he wanted all communication to Ana to go through him first, which all of those things combined. Say it with me. Red flags. Red flags. And yet Anna was happy, or at least she was saying that she was at the beginning. She started having thoughts about building a future together with Ali and creating a family and living the happily ever after. Her friends, meanwhile, I mean, these were her best friends. No matter what Ana did or chose to do, person she chose to be with or not to be with, they were going to support her in everything that she did. So things just continued on like that. And her friends did what they could, which was just be there for her in moments that she needed them. So, having been discharged from the military, Ali decides to move back to Virginia, back in with his family. He kind of had to. I mean, he no longer had a reason to be abroad, and. And then Anna discovers that she is pregnant with Ollie's child, obviously. But finding that out, I think it was a shock just because of the timing. However, the two of them did have intentions of building a life together. It just came a little bit sooner than expected. So Ana finding out the news prompts the couple to seek a marriage visa, because, remember, Anna was still at this time in Japan with her family. And while waiting for the visa to be approved, Anna gave birth to their daughter, a little girl that they called Amira. In 2017, Anna moves to Virginia to be with Ali, and she takes her daughter with them, and she marries Ali in a courthouse ceremony. Ali's cousin said that the newlywed couple truly just looked like a match made in heaven. But it was around 2019, maybe a little bit before that, Ali began building an online presence under the username Jin. Kidding. He found TikTok, or should I say TikTok found him, because very quickly his following grew, and then it just kept growing, and then it just kept growing. He liked to post sketch comedy videos, kind of like parody funny videos and impressions. He would act like characters such as Tony Montana from Scarface, rappers, musicians, actors, characters from video games, you name it. And people who were watching his content thought that he was really good at it. The followers came fast. Ali built an audience of over 1 million people. People were absolutely eating up his content. And also, these were his dreams coming true. Because, remember, Ali had always wanted some kind of fame. He wanted to be known, he wanted people to love him, and he wanted all of the pros and incredible benefits that come from having a big online social media platform. Naturally, slowly but surely, he started making videos of him and Anna and then of their daughter, all three of them together. On screen, he and Anna looked like every young couple's dreams. They would be dancing together, laughing, documenting their daughter's milestones. They were one of TikTok's favorite couples. I mean, their fans called them perfect, wholesome. They were couple goals, as many people would have said. But it was one of those things, the biggest example as to why you cannot trust anything that people say online. Because while they were pushing a false image of a happy marriage to the world, Ali was becoming increasingly verbally and physically abusive with Ana whenever he felt jealous or insecure or just angry. And he actually recorded a lot of his berating behavior, the same recordings that would later be played in that San Diego courtroom. In 2021, Anna convinced Ali that moving to San Diego would be good for both of them. She had friends there, and she wanted to go and be with them, given that now, more oftentimes than not, day to day, she had started to feel really lonely because all Ollie did was focus on social media, really. She said to him something along the lines of, I came to Virginia for you. We've been doing good, We've been doing your TikToks here, raising our daughters, and now I want to go to San Diego for me. And Ali agreed. His reason for it was that he did see that move helping him in his career, because it Meant that he would be able to work with influencers that were based in la. And he was really excited for that. He was also excited about the possibility of becoming an actor, eventually taking things out of the Internet, taking things out of social media and into the real world. And now, because of his social media following, he could picture that reality really becoming true for him. So they ended up relocating. However, the move did not fix what was wrong in the relationship. If anything, it felt like it accelerated it. One of Ali's cousins said that something changed in him when they got to San Diego in a bad way because his behavior seemed to get worse the bigger that his following got. Because his ego would get bigger and he would think that he was just better than anyone else. He became disrespectful, extremely selfish, conceited, aggressive. He would straight up go up to people out in public and ask if they knew who he was, saying anything that he wanted, doing anything that he wanted. Because he was verified on Instagram, he started introducing himself as his AT name, at Jin Kid instead of his real name. I mean, the attention that he was getting, it was absolutely consuming him. And to me, to be honest with you, it sounds like he always had had those characteristics in him. But it was when he started to feel, quote, unquote famous that he started to let that side of him show, finally, because he no longer cared if people in real life liked him, because millions of people online did. As Ali's fame began to rise, Anna was also getting her own social media following. And that was something that Ali was not prepared for. He wanted all of the attention on him. And on top of that, he had become so unhealthy, obsessive and controlling over Anna to the point that he didn't even want her to give any attention to her own family and friends. In fact, he didn't want her to do absolutely anything without his permission. This is a quote from one of her friends. Quote, they would hang out with only who he wanted to hang out with. If he didn't want Anna to come out with the girls and I, she wasn't going. He kind of just controlled how she spent her. Her time in San Diego, end quote. Now Anna was getting attention of her own on social media, and Ali very quickly grew angrier and angrier, more possessive and more jealous. Not just of other men, but jealous of her independence as a whole. Quote, he didn't want her having a life outside of him. He wanted her to hold the camera for him so that he can make his skits, end quote. He Started often accusing Anna of sleeping with other men because she wasn't sleeping with him. Probably because she was disgusted with the way that he was acting and the person that he had become. But he would yell things to her such as, quote, no woman as beautiful as you is going a f ing month without sex. End quote. Add to that the fact that he was drinking and using drugs heavily, and we know that he sees himself as being the type of person that thinks that he can do whatever he wants to, whenever he wants to. So he would bring out a plastic bag of Coca Cola, if you know what I'm saying. He would bring it out with him and pull it out in the middle of the day, out in public, take some, and then put it away. He once also did this in a TikTok live video. Like his head was genuinely so big that he thought he was untouchable and better and bigger than everyone else in every sense of the word. The love bubble that they were once in popped and Anna realized that she wanted out. There was no convincing herself that this kind of behavior was normal and just every once in a while, no, because now he was awful every single day and she hated it. But she felt trapped for two reasons. According to her friends, Anna felt like she couldn't leave because divorce is fraught upon in Filipino culture. And two, if she was to divorce Ali, she could risk losing her visa and being deported back to the Philippines. Leaving her daughter, possibly in Ali's custody and leaving her baby in the care of a person that she had grown to be afraid of was something that Ana was never going to do. As Ali's behavior escalated, he began airing their business publicly, which is so weird, by the way. But he began live streaming their arguments on TikTok and speaking negatively about her to his followers, which, like, that's so weird to me. A close friend of Anna's later described this period as the turning point where things truly began to unravel very quickly and there was no stopping it. Their arguments escalated and turned into Ali pushing her, punching her, slapping her. The cops were called out to their apartment at least nine times. Once it happened with Anna knocked on a neighbor's door asking to use their phone to call the police, saying that Ali had hit her and taken her phone from her so that she could not call the police. But for whatever reason, Ali was never arrested. Anna also once threatened not only to go to the police, but to share photos of her injuries on social media. She did post this once. She posted that her relationship was awful and not what it seemed like saying that Ali had cheated on her in her own house. She said that Ali was absolutely awful to her, that however, he of course made her take this down immediately. Ali responded with more threats, and even after Anna did take it down, the damage to his public image was already done. That, I imagine, only made things worse because his social media image, his reputation was one of the things that was the most valuable to him. It actually may have been the only thing that was valuable to him. And for a guy like him, whose entire identity was built on his online reputation and what people thought of him doing that, posting that story and kind of outing him was something that Ali would never, ever be able to forgive. Taking a quick break to thank today's sponsors. We're talking about Quince. My absolute favorite guys. I turned 27. May 31st is my birthday. I don't even want to talk about it. I feel like I'm old. I know I'm not, but I do feel like it. But as I grow up, I've been so intentional about the pieces that are in my closet and about really building a closet that has every staple that I could ever need and one that I will have for the rest of my life and one that I am very, very proud of. And when I think about that and when I think about how I want to be intentional with every piece that is in my closet, I think of Quince. I also it's wedding month. It's June. It's wedding month. I'm freaking out. But that said, I've also been shopping a little bit more than usual. Specifically was shopping this weekend for a linen shirt for Mitchell to wear for one of the events that we have for our wedding. Of course, I headed over to Quint. Quint has fabrics that feel elevated, the fits are flattering and everything just works out without having to overthink it. Their lightweight linen pants, dresses and tops start at $30 and again, they are effortless, breathable, and they are so easy to wear on repeat. I love all the materials they use in their clothing. They have 100% European linen, organic cotton and ultra so denim. Everything at Quint is good. You can count on that. And if you don't believe me, try it out for yourself. I promise you guys you will not regret it. Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Head to quint.com wish for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada too. That's Q-U I N C.com wish for free shipping and 365 day returns quids.com wish I'm so excited to tell you guys about Story Worth. If your father or a father figure that you have in your life is anything like mine. My dad is one of my favorite people in the whole entire world. However, he is not a man of many words, I will say that. But when he does give me advice or tell me stories about when he was my age, he speaks so well and he has so many fun stories to tell that I have learned a lot from. It's just about asking him the right questions or bringing things up that would jog the correct memory in his life for him to actually find a story and tell it. But when he does, I absolutely love it. So when I heard about Story Worth, I was like, yeah, I absolutely need to get that for my father. Story Worth is a book. Each week Storyworth sends him a question about his life. He responds to it however he wants. He can either email back or he could do a voice recording or a guided phone call. There's so many different options, whatever is easiest for you, but they ask him the right questions that will always end up in a good story. And the best part about it is he tells the story in the way that he remembers it. And it's so, so so much fun to one bring those memories back up to him because you can tell. My dad's face lights up anytime that he remembers a story or a memory that he hasn't talked about in years. But it's also so fun for you because you have you basically compile all of these stories stories as your dad tells them year after year. And Storyworth does the hard part of it, which is compiling everything into one. His words, his photos, his life. And they put it all together into a beautiful hardcover book. So many families have used Storyworth to create over a million books and more than 50,000 five star reviews have been written. It is a treasure that your family will love and one that will be so special for forever. If you guys haven't checked out Story Worth, definitely do it. And especially with Father's Day coming up, it is the perfect gift this year. Give your dad a gift that captures who he really is before the stories get harder to remember. Father's day is Sunday, June 21st. Order right now and save up to $20 at StoryWorth.com wish save up to $20 at storyworth.com wish storyworth.com wish thank you so much StoryWorth for sponsoring today's episode. But Anna's breaking point came in October of 2021. By that point, Ali had begun to visibly hurt her in front of their daughter, and Anna just couldn't take it anymore. She told him, like she had in the past, that she did not love him anymore and that she wanted to get out. In the process, Anna called Ali's mom herself and told her that her son needed to get out, saying, I just need him to leave. And you can hear Ali's mom on the phone saying, quote, why do you always go back to him? What do you want me to do? Put him in jail? Ana responds to that by saying that all she wants and needs is for him to get out of the house. And Ali's mom says, do whatever it takes. If you feel like your life is in danger, put him in jail. This is Ali's mom, by the way, not Anna's, encouraging her to leave. And Ollie can be heard in the background yelling and screaming, saying, oh, my gosh, you guys are calling me crazy. Why are you acting like I'm an evil monster? Blah, blah, blah. So Ollie eventually agrees to leave. He agrees to let Anna and their daughter stay in the apartment, however, without her knowledge. One day, in one of his many violent outbursts, Ollie returns to the apartment, thinking that he would find Anna there. She had told him that she was home, but when he got there, she wasn't, and. And he freaked out even more, realizing that this time she had flat out lied to him. So what does he do? He trashes the entire apartment. He starts throwing things, breaking things, making the place an absolute mess. But before he leaves, he grabs their daughter's iPad and he decides to do something truly psychotic, in my opinion. He sets something up on the iPad to be recording at all times so that he can listen in on conversations and anything else that went on inside of the apology. The apartment. So he pretty much makes the iPad, this recording listening device. He hides it, and then he leaves. Anna then comes back, and while Ollie was listening in through the iPad, she calls a friend and she tells her all about how she just walked into their apartment completely trashed, obviously talking negatively about Ollie in the process. Anna asks her friend to go pick up their daughter from school and watch her for a bit so that she can have time to clean up the place to because she didn't want her daughter to see it that way. Around the same time, Anna had grown close with a friend by the name of Rayburn. And Rayburn was someone who Ali was absolutely threatened by. He had told Anna before that he was very much threatened by their friendship and had tried to Tell her that she wasn't allowed to see him. Little did he know that Anna had been spending a lot of time with Rayburn behind his back, and it was in a romantic way, not just a friendship way. Ali suspected that Rayburn had a thing for Ana, and he had suspicions that the two had begun to see each other. But I don't think that prior to what I'm about to tell you, he had any real confirmation of that. Because that day, when Ali trashed the apartment, Ana called her friend to pick up her daughter so that she could give herself time to clean up. But that wasn't the only phone call she made, because Ana then called Rayburn and she asked him to come over to help her clean up. And Ali heard that, and he saw red. Ali would later acknowledge in court that this sent him into an absolute spiral. He was growing increasingly jealous and paranoid by the second, and his Coca Cola use had already begun escalating during those days. But that day, he took some. And then he did more. And then he did more before getting in his car and booking it to Anna's apartment. He was driving well over 90 miles an hour. Ali got to the apartment with a gun. He walked in, and then he shot Anna and Rayburn to death. Quote, I didn't expect Anna would ever do that to me. Him, out of all people. She knew how I felt about him. She knew how I felt. I was trying to believe her. I was trying to believe that she wasn't cheating on me, that she would let me fix this because I was sick and struggling from drugs and mental illness. But I was trying to fix this. And when I saw that it was him, I couldn't take it. I couldn't take the betrayal. I couldn't believe that she could do that to me, to our daughter. And before I could stop myself, I just effing snapped. My gun was in my hand, and next thing, I'm shooting, and I can't stop. I'm just shooting. I'm shooting, and I'm even startled. It's like I'm watching it happen. Like I'm in the passenger seat of my own body. I can't stop it. And I hear Anna screaming and crying, and I don't even remember shooting Anna. I just remember running back to the. To the front door, and I grabbed the door handle, and then it hit me. I'm like, did that just happen? And I turn around, and I see Anna leaning forward, and there's blood. And I'm like, anna, Anna, Anna. I couldn't believe I Did that? I don't know. I didn't mean to do that. End quote. While he was still in the apartment building, almost immediately after Ali calls his mom on the phone, he says, I just shot and killed Anna. She was with another guy at our house. I killed her. I shot her in the head. I killed them. I killed her. She's dead. I'm sorry, Mom. I'm sorry, Mom. Ali Abullaban was arrested and charged with both murders five hours after he committed them. So this was never a case of who did this. But the trial was for prosecutors to argue that the murders had been premeditated, meaning that they were planned and that he should be sentenced for first degree murder, not second degree, and not manslaughter. At one of the first hearings in this case, Ali seemingly showed no remorse for killing Anna or Rayburn. In fact, he spoke negatively about Anna, calling her names and saying that his actions were only reactions to her behavior. The most important thing to him had always been and remained his social media status. In an interview when he was in jail, he referred to his career as his baby and talked about how much he wanted to be famous and how Anna ruined that for him. In that same interview with a reporter, Ali said that he had caught Anna kissing Rayburn on their couch and that the rest was just a blur. I wanted to be an actor and it was right there. I'm the loser here. I lost. A journalist described him saying, quote, social media can be really dangerous in the hands of the wrong person. He clearly had a very unhealthy relationship to social media that muddied his understanding of reality and seemed to. To shape his impression of what wasn't, of what was an acceptable way to behave. I think that's something worth paying attention to. End quote. When the trial began In May of 2024, prosecutors set out to prove that the murders of Anna and Rayburn had been premeditated. And Ali's behavior throughout the trial, he testified, by the way, but, I mean, I don't even know how to properly explain to you how huge of an ego this guy had and how little he clearly, clearly cared about anything apart from his social media. I mean, he made an absolute fool out of himself in court, losing his patience, screaming, yelling, making it clear that he thought what he did was justified because losing his baby, AKA his social media presence, was ruined. But ultimately, I'm happy to say that the jury found ali guilty on two counts of first degree murder. He was sentenced to two consecutive 25 year to life sentences. And yeah, that is where he is today. By the way, if you guys are wondering, I'm sure you are. Their daughter is in custody of Ali's parents. Yeah. Crazy case. Let me know if you guys have heard about this case. I know there is at least one, maybe more documentaries on this. So let me know if you guys have watched this. But. Yeah. Thank you for spending time with me today. Hope you guys are having the best day. If not, go do something to make it the best day. Make somebody happy. And I will see you in my next video. Massive kiss on the forehead to every single one of you.