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We're starting to see just how many connections this guy had, right? Because of the emails and the receipts and all the things. The birthday book. It's all in the birthday book. In 2003, Ghislaine Maxwell, Jeffrey Epstein's close associate and later his convicted co conspirator, put together a gift for Epstein's 50th birthday. She called it the first 50 years. It is a thick, leather bound scrapbook, 238 pages long, filled with filled with handwritten letters, personal photos, crude drawings, and inside jokes from some of the most powerful people in the world. The album itself was assembled by Maxwell. She asked friends and associates for drawings, photos or stories, and to say they delivered would be putting it lightly. The book's content section lists more than 20 names under the header friends, including former President Bill Clinton, attorney Alan Dershowitz, and Donald Trump. For years, this book sat hidden, tucked away in a little corner. But then, In July of 2025, the Wall Street Journal broke the story of its existence. Fast forward to September 2025. The House Oversight Committee released it publicly after subpoenaing it from Epstein's estate. In said book, there's also a section titled Children with redacted photos, redacted messages. Important to note, Epstein had no children of his own. That we know of. At least today we're breaking down this book. Who wrote in it handwritten letters, birthday messages? Who contributed? What does it tell us about Epstein's network? And what do we still not know? Let's get into it before we dive in. A quick but very, very important note. This episode reviews the content of a publicly released document. All we are doing in this episode is simply reading and discussing what is in it. The presence of someone's name or message in this book means one thing. They knew Jeffrey Epstein at least well enough to wish him a happy birthday. But that's it. It does not imply, know of participation in or proximity to any criminal activity whatsoever. Just because somebody's name may or may not be in this book does not mean that they're being accused of any wrongdoing. Nothing in this book at all should be taken as an allegation against any individual. We are not making accusations. We are not saying that something is true or something is false. I'm not telling you what to assume or believe. Literally, all we are doing is flipping through the pages of this book together. Okay, noted. Thank you. Next, if you're watching the video version of this episode, background needs a little loving. I know, I know. I just moved. New Studio has Some work, need some love. But that's not the point. Let's learn a little bit more about the first 50 years of Jeffrey Epstein's life from the people closest to him. Welcome to this episode of I wish you were here. So like I said, the book is 238 pages long. It's divided into sections, some of the contents of of it being family, Brooklyn business, girlfriends, children, friends, science girlfriends and special assistants. Maxwell opens up the book herself with a handwritten letter. She describes the book's purpose as a way to jog your memory about places, people and different events. She continues by writing, quote, some of the letters will definitely achieve their intended goal. Some, well, you will have to read them to see for yourself. I know you will enjoy looking through the book and I hope you will derive as much pleasure looking through it as I did putting it together for you. She then signed off with a happy, happy birthday before signing her name. Next is the family section. The book opens with this section relatively normally. There are early childhood photos, a copy of Epstein's birth certificate, a boy Scout graduation certificate from 1963, a photo of an eight year old Epstein playing accordion on a stage at a bar mitzvah, and overall the feeling of this section, it gives off a sense of normalcy. It honestly so far just does feel like a normal standard screen scrapbook. And this is pretty interesting to me given that sometimes it feels a little bit impossible to find information about Epstein's childhood and the way that he grew up, his family, etc. Etc. Because you guys know when a human being is really unique. I don't know, how do I say this alarmingly depraved. The first thing that I wonder at least is whoa. I wonder what happened when he was growing up that made him the person that he is today. But in Epstein's case, and I've talked about this to my mom before, because we always think looking into the childhood and the trauma is one of the most intriguing parts. But in Epstein's case, I find it quite hard to find information about when he was a child. Anyway, some of his family members did contribute to the birthday book with letters, his mother writing quote, I've been very busy reminiscing since Ghislaine asked me to write about you, Jeff. You've been a good son since day one and we have been so proud of you ever since. She continues. At age 21, Cosmopolitan magazine featured you as Bachelor of the Month today. You still hold that title. By the way, if you didn't know Epstein's family Consists of his mother and his one brother. His father passed away in 1991, so 12 years before this birthday book was made, so he wasn't alive to contribute. However, pages of other letters that he had written Epstein in the past have been included. His mother's letter in the book also references him warmly. And a separate brief recollection from Epstein's father mentions a family trip that happened in 1985 when the family traveled to Israel to visit relatives, staying at the Plaza Hotel. When describing that, he writes that it was, quote, where my son Jeff hired a limo to take us around. Next is the Brooklyn section, and this is when you start to see a little bit of a shift in the book, because the family section, so far, it feels like a proud mother scrapbook, honestly. But the Brooklyn section feels like something else entirely. It covers Epstein's childhood in Seagate, a private gated community in Coney Island, Brooklyn, where he grew up in the 1950s and 60s. Some of the letters written here sound like they were written by his old school neighborhood friends, boys who grew up alongside of him. But it kind of does feel like just grown men who never really grew up looking back at their youth together and laughing at things that are not necessarily funny and are certainly strange. Like, if you read the family section without knowing who this book was for, it could have been anyone's book. But by this section, the second section, it really starts to feel like Jeffrey Epstein's book. Okay, in this section, there is a lengthy letter signed by a Johnny Boy. By the sounds of it, this was one of his good friends through high school and at least at the beginning of college. The letter goes into explicit detail about Epstein's parents, Paula and Seymour, and conceiving him. It reads, quote, 50 years old, you have had a pretty amazing life. Amazing because of where and when it started. Paula and Seymour, who was there to tell him where to stick it, who told him to spit on her and make it. Maybe they had more on the ball than we all gave them credit for. End quote. Yeah, I told you. Quite graphic. Johnny Boy goes on to describe a trip that him and Epstein took to Europe together. And he writes about how during that trip, he really saw a change in him and saw him start to grow up and become the man that he grew up to be. He writes more than one story about Epstein. Random girls and nights that they had together. And then he describes his personality by writing, quote, you were seriously easygoing, never uptight, never worried, always confident. That aspect of your personality, of course, coupled with your brilliance and intellect is what made you who and what you are today. That don't give a shit attitude. Your calculated aloofness, your sense of humor, and most importantly, that confidence came to you early on, he continues, quote, you began to realize that you could get away with sh t, that chicks and people in general were schmucks. You sensed that you were sharper and more astute than most, especially the ones who had women, money and power. Yes, your charisma and persuasive ways came very early on. End quote. There's also a part in that letter that recalls Epstein bringing a beautiful British babe to his family home. And he praises him for his complete indifference to her feelings because it sounds like she didn't want to go. Epstein forced her to. And this guy Johnny Boy saying, that was awesome, man. Good job. So the thing about this Brooklyn section and why the general feeling of it is so unsettling isn't necessarily because of the actual content, the actual stories. And it's more so the tone that the letters and the messages are written in. These men, good friends of him, at least at one point in his life, they write proudly about these stories. And you could also argue that it's written proof that this pattern of how Epstein treated women and girls, the entitlement, the aggression, the treating it kind of like sport, from reading these letters, it feels like that didn't emerge later in his life because according to the people who were there from the beginning, who knew him very early on, it was always there and most importantly, they always cheered it on. Johnny Boy ends his letter by writing, quote, so, Jeff, even though we don't speak that often and our lives don't intersect, you really are a part of me, and I will always be grateful for the times that we had. You have been and still are a great influence for me. You don't know it yet, but you are my kids role model, end quote. A child's role model. Jeffrey Epstein Wright. It does make you wonder as we read more and more through these letters. Daughters. Exactly. Who knew what. Because, for example, there are some that you're like, okay, you are filthy and disgusting. Also share a very deprived mind. But for example, this Johnny Boy, he knew, he grew up with Epstein, but he didn't necessarily know him as an adult. They weren't in each other's lives as adults by the sounds of it. But saying he's your role models, children's role model, like, how much did you know about him? And why are you saying that? I mean, it's an uneasy feeling to say the Least. The third section is titled Girlfriends. The table of content lists what I assume are names, but those have been redacted and there are actually two separate sections in the book labeled Girlfriends. One is the full word, Girlfriends is one word, and the other one is girl friends as two words. They're not consecutive and they both appear at different parts of the book. But every single name in this section has been redacted. I hope that that was done to protect potential victim names, but who really knows, right? Regardless, it's a hard read because these women, they are writing affectionately, even adoringly, about a man we now know treated girls like nothing more than a piece of trash. Some of the things written in the section are dressed up as flirtation and fun, but it obviously reads very differently. In hindsight, part of the first section in this letter again sounds like it's from someone who knew him in his earlier years. It reads, quote, a few years later, during a trip to Palm beach, we were driving around admiring the homes when he pointed out in the direction of a particularly impressive mansion and said, one day, I'm going to own that. I smiled and considered your comment nothing more than wishful thinking. Many mansions later, you've shown me the importance of having a vision and the determination to pursue it. A lesson I continue to rely upon for inspiration. End quote. It ends with from lessons in algebra to lessons in life. The lessons I've learned from you during the past 35 years haven't always been easy or even ones that I would have chosen to learn, but they were always important. And then it's signed all my love redacted. There is a picture of Epstein with a woman. The woman's face is redacted, but on the bottom of the picture it reads, quote, he is the boyfriend of redacted. We think he works for the CIA. The rest of the section, Girlfriends, is mostly just pictures. There is a redacted picture of a woman holding a diploma with a note reading, quote, I truly share this diploma with you. That makes me wonder what the connection is there. Would not be surprised if I've seen paid for someone's tuition, education just to have something to hold over them and or to receive something in return, because we know that he has done that before. But anyway, the next section is titled Children First. The obvious question that needs to be stated clearly. Epstein had no children of his own that we know of. I mean, now I think that he probably did, but no children that were publicly a part of his family. Do you know what I mean? So why does this section exist, who wanted him to have pictures of their children. Who are the children? Why are they in his birthday book? That is a question that nobody has been able to answer. And the contents of this section do not make it any clearer. Again, every name in this section is redacted. We don't know who contributed, don't know who the children are, don't know what their relationship to Epstein was. There is one drawing and one letter that seemed to be from a child. And I say that because of the way the letter is misspelled and because of the handwriting, just kind of looks like a child. The drawing next to it is also very colorful in a way that a kid would draw a drawing. But then there are the pictures of children, eight pictures to be exact, and messages with them that seem to be from adults about the pictured children. If you're only listening to the episode and not watching the video version, pages 112 and 113 are pictures of what looks to be a little girl with a message reading a new series of pictures. They all seem to be of the same little girl because she's wearing the same outfit, so I'm assuming, obviously we can't see her face, but it's mainly pictures of what looks to be the same girl. And then there is one picture of a younger baby underneath one of the pictures of the little girl. It reads, looking goodish. And then page 114 moves on to the next section titled Fronts. And truly, truly, nothing can prepare you for how disturbing things get in this section. This starts in page 114 of the book and it goes to 177. So there's going to be a lot to unpack here. But in this you can really see the level of depravity that this book holds. It's shocking, it's disturbing, it's concerning, and it's also so sad. So big warning here. These are not things that are easy to listen to. It's going to make you uncomfortable. Okay? There's no way around it. The table of contents lists the contributors here by name. Leon Black, Jean Lune Brunel, Bill Clinton, Alan Dershowitz, Henry Jarecki, George Mitchell, Joel Paschkow, Leslie Wexner, Moore Zuckerman, Donald Trump, plus more. Let's go through them. The section opens up with a photo of what appears to be Epstein and another man in a hooded mask with text that reads in part, quote, jeffrey unveiled his plan. To some, it may have seemed like a get rich quick scheme, but to me it was pure genius. Rob and kill Was the name of the plan the first victim redacted, to be attacked and brutally plundered. Would she want more than that? On the boardwalk in Venice beach, broad daylight. The dastardly thieves were never caught. I need a second. Jeffrey unveiled his plan. What plan? And to who? And a female victim being attacked in broad daylight. What does that mean? I'm sorry. Next is a photo with Epstein and a redacted female underneath. The message begins with, Jeffrey was such a nice man, a sweet, innocent type. One of my employees called him Mr. Epstein, the math teacher, always ready to lend a hand, help a friend in need. But then on the next picture, it continues reading. Then things began to change. I think it was shortly after he encouraged Morgan to say wolf on the phone to me that I noticed the beginning. And then, while his friends were willing to either go blissfully ahead, eyes closed, trusting in the Almighty, Jeffrey began to get that look in his eyes. He was cooking up something. Something either evil or at least deadly. I always hope that he was inspired to action by my action. The unforgivable, immortal sin of getting married. That is a fascinating way to end that message, because almost every line means something specific once you start to understand the context, even though the context itself is extremely difficult to decipher. And it could mean different things depending on who you ask. But as far as to say, who wrote this, I mean, if you ask me, it is almost certainly a close friend, close enough to reference private jokes, mutual friends and shared history. But then at the same time, they write, while his friends were willing to either go blissfully ahead, eyes closed, trusting in the Almighty, Jeffree began to get that look in his eyes. So by saying his friends, it could also make you feel like the writer is drawing a distinction between themselves and Epstein's other friends. And right after saying that, his friends followed him with their eyes closed. When Epstein got that evil look in his eyes, hinting at the fact that these friends of his were either willingly ignorant or willingly complicit. And then referring to marriage as an immortal sin. That kind of gives you an idea in regards to how this person felt. Epstein's social world actually functioned, and it functioned as a culture where getting married, committing to one person, growing up, and leaving was treated as the unforgivable sin. Next is a letter that begins with birthday greetings to Degenerate one. And that letter is signed by Degenerate two that reads in part, from Eaton Square to Barton Bay, from St. Moritz to Palm beach and Manhattan, it is a mere two decades in Earth time. So Many girls, so little time. Okay. A handwritten note signed by Bill Clinton reads, Jeffrey, Happy 50th. It's reassuring, isn't it, to have lasted as long across all the years of learning and knowing adventures and beyond. And also to have your childlike curiosity, the drive to make a difference in the solace of friends, Right? The childlike curiosity really doesn't sit right with me. Alan Dershowitz also writes a letter. Dershowitz was Epstein's personal attorney and he was the one to negotiate his 2008 plea deal. The joke of a plea deal. His note reads, as a birthday gift to you, I managed to obtain an early version of the Vanity Unfair article. I talked them into changing the focus from you to Bill Clinton. As you will see from the enclosed expert. Happy birthday and best regards, guys. So again, if you're only listening to the audio version of this, not watching the video version, the page after that is a picture of the Vanity Unfair magazine, right? And it looks like Epstein's name has been put on top of whatever writing was originally there. Obviously the popular magazine is called Vanity Fair, but in this picture it is the same cover from December of 2002, but instead of it reading Vanity Fair, it reads Vanity Unfair. And I'm going to read you what was on the actual cover and then what's on the picture of the COVID in the book, the real one says, this shocks me to my core when I read it. The real one says, who was Jack the ripper? See page 342, the 100 Year Old Mystery solved In Epstein's book, it reads, who is Jack the Ripper? Was it Jeffrey Epstein? I'm sorry, that is going to keep me up at night because what do you actually mean? The real one reads Al Qaeda in South America. In Epstein's book it reads Al Qaeda in South America financed by Epstein. The real one reads For Bragg's Bloody Summer, which by the way, I think that is referring to when four women were killed in a six week stretch at the Fort Bragg army base. Back then in the book it reads Jeffrey Epstein's Bloody Summer. The real one reads Rosie o' Donnell's Rampage. In the book, it reads Jeffrey Epstein's Rampage. So I don't know about you, but I hate that. Moving on. There seems to be what looks like a drawing of a man sitting at a desk and another man standing by the desk looking at the man who is seating. And the message below that reads, I've done a lot of soul searching, but I've come to the conclusion that I should be thinking less about money and more about naked. The page right after that is a letter written by Bill Elkus. William Bill Elkus is the founder of a Clear Stone Venture Capital, a Silicon Valley venture capital firm. If you don't know, a venture capital firm is a company that invests money into startups and early stage businesses in exchange for a share of ownership, from my understanding. So he's a businessman and he opens up his birthday letter to Epstein by writing, it is no secret that Jeffrey appreciates beautiful women, but not many people know that he can create them out of thin air. At least he did in Iowa in 1988. And the creating women out of thin air part will make sense to you in a second. But his letter continues to talk about a time when Epstein visited him in Iowa for business matters. And he writes about how hog hunting is a common thing there and states that it is hard to tell the difference between the girls and the hogs in southwest Iowa, hinting at the fact that he thinks that females in the area are not attractive. Right, that's what I gathered. And then he describes when Epstein was there, describes how he saw a beautiful woman, spoke to her, and convinced her to go back to New York with him for the weekend. Bill remembers thinking this because he remembers thinking how rare it was, in his opinion, to find an attractive woman in Iowa. He writes, as we were getting out of the car, a spectacular tall blonde woman suddenly came out of the store, walked directly past us and up to Jeffrey and announced, I'm new to this area. What's going on? It turned out she was a sales representative for a firm selling academic branded athletic clothing, and she was literally driving through Iowa visiting local campuses. Jeffrey invited her to join us and did his magic. So according to Bill, he wondered at the time whether Epstein somehow arranged the entire situation and hired that beautiful, spectacular tall blonde to be there on purpose just to make himself look good writing. I'll admit to wondering at the time whether Jeffrey somehow arranged the whole episode through some sort of long distance escort service. But the following week I happened to be in Manhattan and Jeffrey asked me to give her a ride back in our company plane, giving me a chance to speak with her for a few hours. She was the real McCoy. She was the real McCoy. Okay, focus on that sentence. I don't know anything. I'm not alleging anything, but There is a 1993 movie called the Real McCoy, and the main character in that movie is Kim Basinger, an American actress and model. So could the woman from that story, the woman that Bill was referring to. Could that have been Kim? I don't know. I just thought that was interesting. The next letter is from someone called Nick Lees. Part of his letter reads, I was speaking to Bibi last night before writing this email and we both agreed that we were at a loss trying to decide which of the hundreds of hilarious incidents to pinpoint for you. There are just too many. Some of the memories this Nick guy reflects on are what him and I've seen inspected. The Royal Schoolgirl Storms did three point turns in a tunnel when they asked their driver to turn around to go and find them some girls massage classes at Raxall and quote, so on and so on. It brings tears to my eyes. But to me it's the paragraph after that, believe it or not, where this gets just on a whole new level of disturbing. Because that letter describes a wild night out when a woman was essayed in a car that both Nick and Epstein were in. Nick describes when his father, along with a man named Toto T o T o both put their hands up the woman's skirt while driving in the car to a well known club. He then continues to describe the essay as if it was a joke. Like he actually quite literally calls it a joke, saying, there was one evening, which I recall always had you howling with laughter. That's the sentence that he writes before writing the story. It reads in part, the old man, smiling sweetly, leaned over, stuffed his hand into her pants so that Toto found his fingers playing with doggies. Suddenly the awful truth sunk in. But Toto was too shocked to remove his hand. So they drove to Tramps with both of them still trapped in redacted knickers, taking a really quick break to thank today's sponsor. Guys, I've spent the last few weeks, months deep diving into some of the darkest corners of the Internet, trying to do research not only for the podcast, but also for TikTok. And you know what's a common pattern that I see? You know what I realized? A lot of these criminal perpetrators are really good at doing one thing. Finding ways to take advantage of people who don't know that they are being scammed. 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New customer offer for the first three months only. Then full price plans, options available, taxes and fees extra C Mint Mobile for details the next part is written by none other than Peter Mandelson. Peter Mandelson is now a former senior British political figure. He actually just resigned from the governing Labour party on Sunday, February 2nd. So this month after the 3 million new Epstein files were released on January 30th. But his letter in the birthday book calls Epstein his best pal and it includes photographs of Epstein's private island with the caption one of his glorious houses he likes to share with his friends. Yum yum. His part, Peter's part in the book is 10 pages long, filled mostly with vacation photos and some little messages here and there. But yeah, I would say they were best pals. The former US Senator and Clinton appointed special envoy to Northern Ireland, contributed a handwritten letter describing his friendship with Epstein as a blessing, writing that one of Epstein's greatest gifts was the opportunity to lead a full, exciting, and fantastically varied life. The next friend in the book is Nathan Revolt. Nathan is former chief technology officer of Microsoft, one of the most prominent technologies companies in the world. He left Microsoft in 1999 and he founded Intellectual Ventures, which he is now the CEO of. He's also a published cookbook author and a wildlife photographer. That detail becomes relevant here because rather than writing a birthday letter, Nathan wrote that it felt more appropriate to him to leave Epstein photographs from his most recent trip in Africa, writing, I've included a few photos that I took on my recent trip to Africa. They seemed more than appropriate for anything that I could put into words. Said photos include a monkey screaming, lions mating, zebras mating, including one picture with a visible zebra private part. Next is the entry that has consumed more news coverage than arguably anything else in the Entire book, page 164 where Donald Trump's name appears. This looks to be what is supposed to be a conversation between a Jeffrey and a Donald, and at the top of it it reads voiceover, so I get the feeling that it's meant to be read out loud in their voices. The top sentence reads, there must be more to life than having everything, and the text notes that the two of them have certain things in common. It ends with a pal is a wonderful thing. Happy Birthday. May every day be another wonderful secret. If you're only listening to the audio version of this, not watching the video version, this text is framed inside of what the Wall Street Journal described as appearing to be a hand drawn figure of a woman's body. The Wall Street Journal described it to be a pair of small arcs representing a woman's breast with what appears to be Trump's signature below the waist, positioned in some people's opinions to mimic pubic hair. I am not saying this is true. Please do not come at me. I'm literally reading public information that anyone can find on the Internet. But Trump has denied writing it, called it fake, and filed a $10 billion lawsuit against the Wall Street Journal. That lawsuit is ongoing. Henry Rosofsky, an academic administrator who served as the Dean of the Faculty of Arts and Sciences at Harvard University. His name also appears in the book. It's with a drawing of a woman's breast, and around it the text reads, specially commissioned by Hendry Rosovsky in honor of Jeffrey Epstein's barf Day. Another drawing of what Looks to be very much a woman's breast is in a letter reading. Dear Jeffrey, I wanted to get you what you want. So here it is. Happy birthday, your friend Leslie Wexner. Mort Zuckerman also wrote to Epstein. Mort is a real estate magnate and the then owner of the New York Daily News. He wrote a letter joking that he had searched for information about Epstein in his own newspaper. And according to his records, Epstein was born in Lichenshire and had a wife and three children. I assume the point of this was to be written as a joke about how little the press actually knew about the real Epstein. Following all of that, we now get to the science part of the book. In my opinion, the Science section is one of the most revealing parts of the book. Not necessarily because of the information in it, because quite frankly, it's all like science and mathematician talk. There's so many formulas and stuff. I'll get into it, but not necessarily because of what it says, but because it shows just how deeply embedded Epstein was into legitimate institutional science. The Science section lists five Gerald Edelman, Murray Gelman, Stephen Kossland, Martin, Newark, and Lee Smolin. Without their names, if you don't know who they are, they would be two Nobel Prize winners. A Harvard department chair, a mathematical biologist that Epstein was essentially funding in, a theoretical physics physicist. Now let's talk about Martin Nowak, a mathematical biologist at Harvard. Martin writes several pages referring to his work on the evolution of language and involuntarily, dynamics. Essentially, he leaves sort of a mini lecture on his research addressed to Epstein. Harvard's review found that Epstein had maintained access to a personal office in Martin's lab for nine years, even after his conviction, by the way. And he used that lab over and over and over again, time and time again, over 40 times. Then there is Steven Koslin. Steven served as a Psychology department chair and Dean of Social Sciences at Harvard. Between 1998 and 2002, Harvard received $200,000 in donations from Epstein to support Stephen's research. His handwritten birthday book entry includes a series of struck through equations and wishes for Epstein's health over another 50 years. The struck through equations to me were interesting because they're done by a scientist literally crossing out his own work as a playful gesture for his good friend Epstein. That's weird to me. Moving on to the section girlfriends. Hopefully we're almost done because I don't know how much longer I can talk about this guy, to be honest with you. The girlfriend section names our entire on the table of contents at the beginning of the book, by the way. And again, this is a different section than the girlfriend section, which is one word. This one is the girlfriend section with a hyphen. This part of the book kind of follows the same general pattern with the girlfriend section. In the way that it's women writing affectionately about Epstein to Epstein, describing time spent with him, recounting trips, moments together, inside jokes. The tone of it is warm. It's devoted, Even slightly competitive at times in a subtle way. Each woman positioning herself as someone special in his massive orbit of people. Several entries include photographs of the women themselves, faces redacted. Some photos are casual vacation shots, social settings. Others are more intimate. At least one entry includes what appears to be a woman photograph in lingerie or partly undressed. Submitted willingly as part of her birthday wishes to Epstein. But I want to talk specifically about page 199 because, well, let's just go through it. It's a drawing, and it looks like a child's drawing. Because it's with what looks to be crayons or colorful markers. It's very colorful. And the drawing is signed at the bottom right corner. Alberto Badini Gomez, 2002. Now, I'm not saying that this is what it's supposed to be. I'm just describing what some people think that it is supposed to be. Or at the very least, that it looks like. It appears to be some sort of scene. It almost looks like a concert or a recital of sorts. There's a piano in the middle of it. At the back of the room. There are several large windows with green curtains in the middle. Right by the piano, there's a figure lying on the floor. A lot of people think that this figure resembles a child. And then around the piano and the person lying on the floor. There are rows of audience members seated in chairs. The seats are like a pink purple color. And each one of them has a green dot in the middle of it. And then it looks like some people are supposed to be sitting on those chairs. But there are also other figures scattered throughout. Some people along the walls, some seated, some randomly kind of placed throughout the room. And overall, the color palettes are warm. Yellows and browns for the floor, green for the plants and the curtains. And then there are, like, these red, dark paint splatters almost. And they're kind of splattered throughout the entire drawing. And it's very, very, very, very strange. But the letter next to it is even weirder. It reads, jeffrey, look at this drawing. Picture the scene without the audience. The girl sleeping on the floor. I Believe had shorter hair then. Does it bring you back memories? I'm thinking of all the great times we had together. You know you will always be my very close friend, even though we don't see each other so much anymore. Have a happy 50. I can't believe it. But the good news is you look better than you did years ago when we first met. Love Always Redacted what? Why did someone leave this for Jeffrey Epstein for his birthday? Who is the child on the floor? What is their relationship to him? What is going on in the picture? Literally, what does it mean? Okay, next. This makes me so uncomfortable because this next letter sounds romantic, at least to me. It is disturbing. It is disgusting also, but that's besides the point. This letter isn't signed, but I feel like I just need it. Need to read it to you because summarizing this would be tough. It's from someone, I assume a woman or a girl who writes about how she first met Epstein when Maxwell contacted her to hire her to give Epstein massages. And she pretty much lays out her love for Epstein, describing the day they first met back in March of 1993, writing. You were sitting behind an enormous desk in your office at home on 69th street in a jean shirt and sweatpants. And your feet were possibly the most beautiful that I'd ever seen belonging to a man. I remember thinking that you looked like a more handsome Ralph Lauren. We moved over to a seating area and I sat on a footstool and worked on your feet while you were in an armchair and watched me and Ghislaine worked on your shoulders. After a few minutes, you gave me that squinched eye look. A mix of calculation and enjoyment, both devouring and submissive. That is so you. And moaned a little bit and I thought, okay, this is going well. She then says that her life was forever changed by Epstein and that she is grateful beyond words for every role that Epstein played in her life. Continuing to write. You showed me how much more I am than I ever thought I was. Your guidance has kept me on track and encouraged me to grow and think bigger. You built my business and my confidence, have set me on travels that have changed my life. Given, given, given to me, taking care of my friends and family. You have taught me how to laugh and think in new ways, protected me and made me feel safe. You've been indefinitely patient with me, and I am so blessed with you. Dear Jeffrey, I laugh like a little girl and I feel like a woman. I love you. What? Another woman or girl who was recruited to Epstein by Maxwell, by the sounds of it, because she says that again, Maxwell approached her. Writes that she first interacted with Maxwell at a horse show in Palm Beach. She writes that she was under the impression that Ghislaine Maxwell was there looking for a horse. But in reality what she was looking for was a collection of breast photos. A compilation of course, for you. I came to see you months later. You told me to take off my top with the usual Epstein smile. You looked at my breast and said yeah, I was right. Memory served you correctly. The beauty mark was on the right breast. One quotable memory. To a true friend with whom I have shared many complicities. I love you and I wish you the best 50 years. Throughout this section there are also so many pictures of Epstein with so many women's and girls all redacted. One of those shows a woman hardly wearing anything. And the message next to that picture reads visiting you down in Palm Beach. Can't get a second of privacy with you and a camera around. Haha. Page 216 and 217 is a compilation of pictures of girls and women. Every single one of them redacted. And two pages, right, but I'm talking a lot of pictures. Like over a hundred, I'm pretty sure. And then the page after 2:18 is entirely redacted. Like you can hardly see any white on the edge of the paper even it is one massive black square over the entirety of the page. It's so scary. Next in the book is the assistance page. There are more photos of girls and women redacted there. Page 225 is especially weird because the the page itself is split into two parts that make up the entire page, right? The top seems to be a picture of a girl's face and it's from like the bottom of her nose up to her forehead that is redacted. And the bottom half, the bottom half of the page just says who am I? Which is unsettling because why is that so secretive? Literally, who are you? Next is a letter. It's not signed, but it's from someone writing about their life before and after obscene breeding. In part before Jeffrey, I was a 22 year old divorcee working as a hostess in a hotel restaurant. After Jeffrey, I now live in New York City. Have traveled to Paris, London, Milan, Copenhagen, Tokyo, Hong Kong, Stockholm, China, Singapore, Bangkok, Bali, Ghana, Nigeria, Rwanda, South Africa, Morocco, Ireland, San Tropez, Florida, St Bart, St Thomas, St John, New Mexico, Moscow, St. Petersburg, Aspen. I have met Prince Andrew, President Clinton, Donald Trump, Antonio Verglass, Naomi Campbell, Stephen Seymour, Peter Brandt, Kevin Spacey, Chris Tucker, Diana Ross, Michael Jackson, brilliant scientists, lawyers and businessmen. And then that ends with her thanking Epstein for changing her life. Lastly, the business section of the book Birthday wishes come from Jimmy Cayne. He was a CEO of Bern Stearns who in 2006 became the first Wall street chief to own a company stake worth more than $1 billion. Ace Greenberg hired Epstein at the beginning of his career to teach at that private school even though he had no degree. He also later on went on to become the CEO of Bern Stearns two years after hiring Epstein, Ted Serure, another former Bernstearns colleague, Elliot Wulk, also from Bernstarns, and Ira Zickerman, former Senior Manager Director for Bernstarns. Those are all pretty vague to be honest with you. It's pretty much just Happy Birthday, Hope all is well sort of messages and the birthday book ends with a little note from Maxwell to Epstein wishing him the Next next best 50 years. So there you go. Yeah, not much more to say here, but I do want to know your thoughts. I want to know if there was any name in here that surprised you. Want to know if there was any information that I told you that you did not already know. But yeah, that's it from me today. Hope you guys are having the best day. If not, go do something to make it the best day. Make somebody happy and I will see you in my next video. Massive kiss on the forehead to every single one of you. Thank you so much for tuning into this episode of I wish you were here. As a reminder, you can listen to this podcast any way you get your podcast video version also available on YouTube. Love you.
Host: Michelle Cuervo
Date: February 19, 2026
In this episode, Michelle Cuervo delves into the contents of Jeffrey Epstein’s infamous 238-page “birthday book,” a leather-bound scrapbook assembled by Ghislaine Maxwell for Epstein’s 50th birthday in 2003. Released publicly in September 2025 by the House Oversight Committee, the book's contents offer a rare, disturbing look into Epstein's vast network through handwritten letters, photos, personal anecdotes, and inside jokes contributed by friends, family, business associates, and some of the world’s most powerful names. Michelle systematically works through the sections of the book, highlighting revealing and unsettling themes, always reminding listeners that appearances in the book imply only a personal connection—no criminal allegations are made.
Key Elite Contributors:
Ghislaine Maxwell, on the book’s purpose (06:14):
“Some of the letters will definitely achieve their intended goal. Some, well, you will have to read them to see for yourself.”
Johnny Boy, on Epstein’s personality (17:10):
“You began to realize that you could get away with sht, that chicks and people in general were schmucks. You sensed that you were sharper and more astute than most…”*
Bill Clinton, birthday note (44:38):
“Jeffrey, Happy 50th… your childlike curiosity, the drive to make a difference in the solace of friends, Right?”
Alan Dershowitz, on Vanity Fair article (45:13):
“As a birthday gift to you, I managed to obtain an early version of the Vanity Unfair article. I talked them into changing the focus from you to Bill Clinton…”
Peter Mandelson, best pal message (53:18):
“One of his glorious houses he likes to share with his friends. Yum yum.”
Michelle, host’s recurring reminder (03:30): “The presence of someone's name or message in this book means one thing. They knew Jeffrey Epstein at least well enough to wish him a happy birthday. But that's it…”
| Segment | Description | Timestamp | |------------------------------------|--------------------------------------------------------|-------------------| | Book’s Purpose/Disclaimer | Host explains context and intent | 00:00–03:30 | | Family and Childhood | Parental letters and memorabilia | 06:30–12:20 | | Brooklyn/Adolescent Years | Letters from early friends, emergence of patterns | 12:20–19:30 | | Girlfriends & “GFs” Sections | Letters from women, redactions, grooming implications | 19:30–28:15 | | The “Children” Section | Unclear, redacted, disturbing speculative content | 28:15–32:00 | | “Friends”: Elite Letters | Incendiary/jocular notes from powerful individuals | 32:00–56:00 | | Trump: The Illustrated Conversation| Visual, controversial, legal fallout | 56:00–61:30 | | Science Section | Deep ties to leading scientists, donations | 61:30–65:20 | | Girlfriend Testimonies & Drawings | Grooming, dependency, cryptic artwork | 65:20–76:50 | | Disturbing Imagery / Redactions | Fully blacked out pages, “Who am I?” | 76:50–80:30 | | Business Section | Bear Stearns connections, generic messages | 80:30–83:00 | | Closing Reflections | Host asks audience for reactions | 83:00–end |
This episode closely examines the primary document, avoiding speculation about guilt but raising powerful questions about accountability, complicity, and secrecy among the world’s elites. Michelle’s compassionate yet tenacious approach invites listeners to reflect not just on Epstein, but on the systems and attitudes that protected him for so long.