Podcast Summary: If Books Could Kill – "He's Just Not That Into You"
Release Date: July 31, 2025
Hosts: Michael Hobbes & Peter Shamshiri
Podcast Description: Exploring airport bestsellers that captivated our hearts and clouded our minds.
Introduction
In the episode titled "He's Just Not That Into You", hosts Michael Hobbes and Peter Shamshiri delve into one of the early 2000s' most influential dating self-help books by Greg Barent and Liz Tuccillo. The discussion navigates through the book's core premises, its reception, and the subsequent movie adaptation, all while maintaining their signature humorous and critical tone.
Initial Banter: Beverage Centers and Mini Fridges [00:00 – 02:17]
The episode kicks off with a lighthearted conversation about beverage centers, modern upgrades to traditional mini fridges.
Peter: "I just ordered a beverage center which is what they're calling mini fridges. Fancy mini fridges." [00:00]
Michael: "Is it like WI fi enabled or some shit? And it reports to you when you need like White claw." [00:15]
This segment sets a playful tone, showcasing the hosts' chemistry and penchant for poking fun at modern gadgets.
Introducing "He's Just Not That into You" [02:17 – 03:07]
Transitioning from appliances to literature, Michael introduces the book:
Michael: "This is one of the most popular dating books of the 2000s. It sold a million copies, the authors were on Oprah four times. We had to cover it eventually." [04:40]
Peter reflects on the book's premise:
Peter: "All I know is that this is the first book we've done where the title is advice that every single person in my life needs to hear." [02:22]
Book Structure and Key Concepts [03:07 – 07:26]
Michael critiques the book's balance:
Michael: "It's giving simplistic, generic advice... It knows it's simplistic and doesn't pretend it will be a phrase used in other areas of your life." [06:33]
Peter suggests a more interactive approach, which Michael counters:
Peter: "My idea was to weave in listeners' relationship problems... but you rejected it." [04:03]
Michael: "There's no way to do that without becoming the Thing that you're critiquing." [04:36]
Deep Dive into Book Chapters [07:26 – 43:45]
Critique of Specific Chapters:
-
Chapter 1: He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Asking You Out [13:22 – 14:23]
Michael: "If a guy is showing signs of disinterest, he's probably just not interested. The authors don't overcomplicate it."
Peter: "He's selfish, a bully, or a freak. No need for accountability." [16:03] -
Chapter 2: If He's Not Calling You [25:18 – 26:21]
Peter: "If he can't call you when he says he will, he's not interested. Building love on unreliable communication is futile."
Michael: "Busy doesn't mean better. Two-week wait? Not that into you." [25:40] -
Chapter 5: If He's Having Sex with Someone Else [34:02 – 34:05]
Peter & Michael: Brief acknowledgment of infidelity as a clear sign of disinterest. -
Chapter 6: If He Only Wants to See You When He's Drunk [34:41 – 36:34]
Michael: "Good advice to question relationships built around alcohol. Greg includes his own recovery experience."
Peter: Agrees it's legitimate advice but critiques its framing within the book's premise. -
Chapter 8: If He's Breaking Up with You [35:08 – 36:34]
Michael: "Don't get back with someone who dumps you. Better move on."
Peter: Highlights the insensitivity in advice for severe relationship breakdowns. -
Chapter 11: If He's Married [42:34 – 43:45]
Peter: Mocking scenarios where women date married men, emphasizing the absurdity of Greg's advice.
Notable Quotes:
- Peter: "He's socially deprived." [01:46]
- Michael: "You're not into me, you're just stuck in the perpetual single cycle." [28:55]
- Peter: "He's just not that into you. Here's the truth." [16:48]
Reception and Critical Analysis [43:45 – 47:50]
Michael and Peter discuss the book's reception, noting the lack of mainstream critical reviews but referencing a particularly scathing one from The New York Times:
Reviewer: "There's something wildly condescending about the image of women as helpless creatures..." [45:42]
Michael: "The book is pitched at women because they buy most self-help dating books." [47:33]
Peter: Critiques the book's patronizing tone and unrealistic scenarios, highlighting its post-feminist undertones.
Movie Adaptation Critique [47:50 – 56:53]
The hosts shift focus to the 2009 film adaptation, mocking its execution:
Michael: "The movie repeats the trope that the phrase was pushing back against."
Peter: "It's like a 2 hour and 15 minute long movie filled with wildly underdeveloped characters." [50:35]
They highlight specific scenes that undermine the book's premise, portraying female characters as overly naive and men as uninterested or manipulative, thus perpetuating harmful stereotypes.
Author's Journey and Aftermath [56:53 – 59:39]
Michael provides insight into Greg Barent's career trajectory post-book:
Michael: "He couldn't go back to stand-up comedy because his fans saw him as a sellout. This led to a decade-long opioid addiction crisis." [58:43]
Peter: "Airport bestsellers ruin the life of any good faith person who does them." [59:39]
The discussion underscores the personal toll that sudden fame from a bestselling book can have on an author's life and career.
Conclusion
In "He's Just Not That Into You," Michael and Peter deliver a thorough critique of both the book and its film adaptation, emphasizing the oversimplification of complex relationship dynamics and the perpetuation of outdated, post-feminist narratives. Through sharp humor and incisive analysis, they reveal the pitfalls of airport bestsellers that promise clarity in the tangled web of modern romance but often deliver condescension and unrealistic expectations instead.
Notable Quotes:
- Peter: "He's just not that into you. Here's the truth." [16:48]
- Michael: "It's giving simplistic, generic advice... It knows it's simplistic and doesn't pretend it will be a phrase used in other areas of your life." [06:33]
- Peter: "Airport bestsellers ruin the life of any good faith person who does them." [59:39]
This episode serves as a critical examination of one of the most popular dating manuals, dissecting its advice, societal implications, and the real-life consequences faced by its author. Listeners gain insights into the dynamics of self-help literature and its impact on both individuals and broader cultural narratives.