IHIP News Podcast

Episode: "Kash Patel Humiliated As FBI Agents Call Him a 'Make-A-Wish Director' Behind His Back"
Hosts: Jennifer Welch & Angie “Pumps” Sullivan
Date: December 26, 2025

Episode Overview

In this biting and comedic episode, Jennifer and “Pumps” unload their unfiltered opinions on Kash Patel’s tenure as FBI Director—juxtaposing his controversial leadership with absurd headlines, personal scandals, and the general decay of government credibility. The hosts gleefully dissect why Patel, a former podcaster with dubious qualifications, has reportedly become a laughingstock within the FBI, earning the behind-the-back nickname of “Make-a-Wish Director.” Amid stories of taxpayer-funded perks, embarrassing power plays, and cringey social media defenses, they weave biting social commentary with irreverent humor, offering both catharsis and critique for listeners frustrated by current events.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Satire: "We Will Not Run the FBI"

• [00:00]
  • Pumps: Opens with tongue-in-cheek thanks to listeners, joking that neither host will accept the position of FBI Director, underscoring their lack of qualifications—unlike Kash Patel.
  • Quote: "We will not accept to be the head of the FBI because we are uniquely unqualified. ... But I’ll tell you who did accept that offer. A very unqualified podcaster named cash money. Do the cha Ching pumps. Ching cash Patel."

2. Kash Patel’s Qualifications and Reputation

• [01:07]
  • Co-hosts question Patel’s qualifications, highlighting his transition from pro-Trump podcaster to FBI Director and continuing devotion to Trump despite the contradiction.
  • Skepticism about Patel’s professional competence:
    • "He has been on the Trump train since jump.... Like he’s never—that’s how good his skills of deduction are. He hasn't figured that out yet."

3. The 'Make-A-Wish Director' Moniker & Jet Use Scandal

• [02:07–02:38]
  • Patel reportedly uses a $60M FBI jet for personal leisure: UFC matches, hunting, Scotland golf, etc.
  • Pumps: "I love journalism. Is raising questions."
  • Co-host: "No questions. The answer is yes."
  • SWAT protection extended to Patel's girlfriend, Alexis Wilkins.
  • FBI sources claim agents call Patel “Make-a-Wish Director” due to his excesses (reference: the Make-a-Wish Foundation).
• [03:22]
  • Reports of FBI agents driving home Wilkins’ drunk friends at Patel’s direction highlight blurred professional boundaries.

4. Patel’s Relationship, Patriotism, and Public Defenses

• [03:42–04:20]
  • The hosts dissect Patel’s relationship with Wilkins (26), questioning her “patriotism” and why she dates Patel.
  • Patel’s social media defense of Wilkins is quoted and mocked for melodrama and puffery:
    • Quote (Pumps reading Patel’s tweet at [04:20]):
      "The disgustingly baseless attacks against Alexis, a true patriot and the woman I’m proud to call my partner in life are beyond pathetic... She is a rock solid conservative and a country music sensation who has done more for this nation than most will in 10 lifetimes."
  • Pumps (mocking):
    "When do you think she—Alexis—dumps cash, do you think when—when Trump fires him or when Trump fires him?"

5. Hypocrisy and Media Critique

• [05:42–06:45]
  • Co-hosts point out Patel's hypocrisy: complaining about personal attacks while having made a name attacking others, especially Hunter Biden.
  • "I do not have a carve out for his 26 year old patriot girlfriend ... because this is what he did all day, every day is attack people in their personal lives. So I’m not going to cry a tear for this person."

6. The Raid Jacket Incident: Cosplay Politics

• [06:45–12:25]
  • The episode's most memorable moment: Patel delaying deplaning at Provo airport until presented with a properly sized FBI raid jacket—with the right patches—even as agents scrambled during the aftermath of Charlie Kirk’s assassination.
  • "FBI Director Kash Patel would not disembark from the plane without an FBI raid jacket..." – Pumps
  • Female agent yields her medium-sized jacket; SWAT team members give up their patches to appease Patel’s image concerns.
  • Co-host's Summary ([12:57]):
    "He should be humiliated. ... What we’re making fun of is you sat on a plane when your alleged best friend was just murdered and you wouldn’t leave until you had your cosplay uniform on because that’s how bad you suck."

7. Political and Societal Critique

• [13:36–14:09]
  • Host reminders: Most federal law enforcement officers are nonpartisan and now forced to work for "cosplayers" more interested in ego than public service.
  • "All of the people in the Trump administration have named the culprit of his death—gun violence. ... It’s just so fucking humiliating." – Pumps
  • Angie/Pumps: Links these leadership failures and insecurities to broader national security and public safety threats.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [01:07] Co-host:
  "He has been on the Trump train since jump. He's never jumped off, never realizing that he's brown and that trump is a racist. Like he's never—that's how good his skills of deduction are."

• [02:36] Co-host:
  "No questions. The answer is yes." (On whether there's jet abuse)

• [04:20] Pumps (reading Patel's tweet):
  "The disgustingly baseless attacks against Alexis, a true patriot and the woman I'm proud to call my partner in life are beyond pathetic."

• [12:57] Co-host:
  "He should be humiliated. ... What we’re making fun of is you sat on a plane when your alleged best friend was just murdered and you wouldn’t leave until you had your cosplay uniform on because that’s how bad you suck."

• [13:36] Pumps:
  "There are a lot of nonpartisan workers... that are now attached, this crime syndicate of these not even Beta Zeta males that are low T in trying to prevent the world from knowing how low that T is."

Important Segment Timestamps

• 00:00–01:07: Opening jest, introduction to Kash Patel’s “unqualified” status
• 01:07–02:38: Alleged misuse of FBI jet, details of “Make-A-Wish Director” nickname
• 03:22–04:20: Detailing the personal use of FBI resources, discussion of Patel’s defense of Alexis Wilkins
• 06:45–12:25: Provo airport raid jacket incident—cosplay and insecurity on display
• 12:57–14:09: Broader implications, emotional and institutional critique, episode wrap-up

Tone and Delivery

Unabashedly sardonic and irreverent, Jennifer and Pumps wield humor as a weapon against what they see as institutional rot and clownish political theater, never shying away from profanity or mockery. Their banter and sarcasm amplify the episode’s cathartic energy—even as the content veers into serious critiques of public governance.

Summary for New Listeners

This episode delivers a rapid-fire, no-holds-barred takedown of Kash Patel as FBI Director. Through a blend of comedic exasperation and pointed social analysis, Jennifer and Pumps lampoon Patel’s reported extravagances and fragile ego, all while expressing alarm at the apparent decline of seriousness in American institutions. Their commentary is both entertaining and incisive, giving listeners plenty to think about—and plenty to laugh at.