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- [00:00]
A
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B
All right, today we're going to bring in our producer Ryan Beals to present stories to Pumps and Me. We don't know what they are and we're all going to react together. Please play along in the comment section. Ryan, welcome to I HIP News today. What stories do you have for us?
- [01:21]
C
So excited to be here. All right, Kylie, if you can pop this up. Chrissy Ice Barbie Gnome could already be forced out of the phony role she was given after Donald Trump unceremoniously fired her. And we have some more reporting from the Daily Beast article. Chrissy Ice Barbie Gnome could already be for sale. The phony role she was given after being unceremoniously fired by Donald Trump from leading the Department of Homeland Security, according to a report. Noam is said to be barely showing up at the office for her seemingly made up position as Special Envoy to the Shield of the Americas. At least four officials who followed her from DHS into the role have been placed on administrative leave by the White House, the Daily Mail reported.
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B
I wonder why she's not showing up to work. Yeah, I can think of a couple reasons. Big Titty Brian's tit number one and tit number two.
- [02:18]
D
Here's the deal. If I was given a job, a made up job, and it was some stupid name, I don't think I'd show up either. Like this whole thing is fake. She's fake. What I'm waiting for are the lawsuits to claim back all the money that she corruptly put into her own pocket and her friend's pocket. That's what I'm waiting for.
- [02:40]
B
Well, didn't Corey Lewandowski also grift a bunch of money off of all of this?
- [02:45]
D
They were saying it was pay to play with. Like, Corey would be like, if me to take this up higher, you give me a little juice on the side. So, I mean, they're both as corrupt as I think.
- [02:58]
B
Trump made up this job for her because he has to keep people. He can fire them, but he has to keep them close so that they don't tell all. And then he has this whole, well, if you want to pardon at the end of this, you're going to have to play ball. But I think she is not showing up to her new job as Pump. She said hilariously one day as the American Avenger, you know, you know, she. With this new title, the Shield, the photo shoot opportunities to keep piling on to all of the costumes she likes to wear. I mean, this is a whole new ball game for her. So the fact that she is not showing up to roll out photographic images where she can dress up and cosplay tells me that this big Titty Brian reveal, a lot of people suggested maybe she leaked it. I don't know if she leaked it. I think, I think somebody in Trump's orbit leaked it. I think it was a. It was like, we've got this on you. You better play ball. You better keep your mouth shut or there's going to be more coming out. That's, I think a Stephen Miller, a Susie Wiles, Laura Loomer leaked the big Titty Brian photos and story.
- [04:17]
D
I think that's a great guess.
- [04:20]
B
Okay, Ryan, what's our next story?
- [04:22]
C
All right, next we have a video from Hunter Biden, and let's see what he says.
- [04:27]
E
And I think he's trying to organize a cage match, me versus Eric and Don Jr. I told him I'd do it 100 in if you can pull it off. And if you can't, I'm still coming. And I think he's got a lot of other surprises up his sleeve. A lot of fun. And I hope I can see you guys out there, you can get tickets online right now, and I'll see you out on tour.
- [04:55]
B
I have to tell you. Oh, go ahead, Ryan.
- [04:57]
C
I was going to say, who wins in a cage match, Don Jr, Eric or Hunter Biden?
- [05:02]
B
Oh, Hunter for sure.
- [05:03]
D
All day long.
- [05:04]
B
Hunter all the way. And I'm just going to, I'm just going to go on the permanent record to say I love Hunter Biden. I absolutely love Hunter Biden. Every single clip he's been on since Trump 2.0. I love him. I think he's feisty. I wish he would run for office. I think it would. MAGA would just go into a complete death spiral. This is the guy who they're wound up about because he has a very large penis and they don't have jealous. All right. And there's video evidence of the size of this. And we have already done our own analysis as to the impotence, soft serving, teeny weeny issue that pumps. And I have diagnosed that it permeates and is ubiquitous in the bro sphere. And this is a guy who has actually done the therapeutic work to get sober, which is really, really difficult to do. And when you do that, it helps you become a lot more emotionally mature. So this guy had gallery sale and MAGA lost their mind about it. I'm Team Hunter. I want Hunter to run. I love Hunter Biden. Pumps.
- [06:17]
D
Yeah, I like him. He's very sassy and he doesn't, he doesn't give a fuck. He will go right at people and he's unapologetic about it. And that's what I like about it. He's a fighter for sure. Here's the thing that just reminded me. Trump is having a cage match at the White House for his birthday. How is this real?
- [06:38]
B
It's the WWE presidency. It is. You know, I mean, this is like, this is their whole shtick. It's. But I, I, I'm, I'm Team Hunter. I like Hunter Biden. I, I really do. Every time I've ever seen a video of him, I like him a lot.
- [06:54]
D
Jennifer, I bet you and I could take Don Jr. And Eric 100%. Like, I would bet on s in a cage match with those two. Those are the biggest two pussies I've ever seen walking the earth.
- [07:06]
B
Yeah, I think that would be fairly easy. Don Jr. Is just a hysterical person. He's always hysterical. And then Eric, you know, I don't know what's going on with Eric. I think Lara has his balls in her cleavage at all times.
- [07:26]
D
Agree.
- [07:26]
B
I mean, I think she just stuck him right here and then goes on. Okay, Brian, what stories next?
- [07:32]
C
All right, next, we have an update on the ballroom from fact Post, new Reporting reveals Trump's $400 million ballroom will use tens of millions of dollars of foreign steel. This comes as Trump denies the US Automakers relief from tariffs for using foreign steel.
- [07:51]
B
Sure, why not?
- [07:52]
D
Of course.
- [07:53]
B
Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's. Let's have Iran build it. You know, I mean, like this. This administration is built on lies and hypocr democracy. It's never America first. They don't give a shit about America. It's always Trump first. And I get a crazy, selfish narcissist. I understand that psychologically, we've all known people like this or we've watched movies or, you know, read novels where a character is like this. It is the people surrounding him that what are they getting in return? Like, here's my biggest question for you guys. What is little Moses Mike Grinder Johnson getting out of this?
- [08:33]
D
What's it.
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B
What is he getting?
- [08:35]
D
It's a great question.
- [08:36]
B
What is he getting? Do you think they have like his Google search history or they have the real porn history? Or is it. Or do they have something on him? Because my brain would be like, why would you been. Why would you humiliate yourself, run around talking about what a big Christian you are, and then help cover up for child pedophilia.
- [08:54]
D
He.
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B
They must have blackmail information on him. But time and time again, you find out with these people, they just genuinely will completely debase themselves for Donald Trump for no good reason, for nothing, for not for nothing, for nothing. Like, I need to know what little, little Grinder is getting. I need to know.
- [09:14]
C
Moving on, we have some new reporting from Axios that Roger Stone actually saved Tulsi Gabbard's job. So there was some reporting when Pam Bonnie was fired that Tulsi might be next to. And now we're learning some more about it. So Trump started polling advisers on their opinions of Gabard's testimony, her job performance and whether to replace her. The Guardian reported her fellow cabinet officials backed her, as did Stone when the president called him last week. Axios is learned, Rod, quote, roger sealed the deal. He saved Tulsi. A source familiar with Trump's thinking told Axios. Stone declined to comment, but confirmed Thursday on X that he interceded on Gabbard's behalf. Fortunately, I acted in time, quote, you
- [10:00]
B
know what's amazing about this is how you have all of these players around the president, like Laura Loomer, Roger Stone, Steve Bannon and all of these dipshits that, that are pulling levers in the executive branch in the. Donald Trump wants to know what Roger Stone thinks or what Laura Loomer Thinks and this has been normalized and platformed, and we all have to suffer through this. Did you all hear the story that Grindr is hosting White House?
- [10:38]
C
That's our next story.
- [10:39]
B
Oh, my God.
- [10:40]
D
Okay.
- [10:40]
B
Go, Ryan.
- [10:42]
C
Grindr is set to host its first White House correspondence dinner party. And we have some more reporting from the Hill. Kylie, if you can pop this up. In an interview last year, Grindr CEO George Arison said the dating app aimed to be a, quote, place that is welcoming to everybody, regardless of political affiliation, quote, no matter what their political views are. People who are gay should be welcome on Grindr, and we want them to have a really good experience. Ericson said at the time, confirming reports that there was a, quote, significant spike in usage on the app in Milwaukee during the Republican national convention in 2024.
- [11:22]
B
I love Grindr. I want it, I want to download the app. I, I, I, I absolutely support this. I love that they are stepping into politics. It seems to me like it not only inclusive, but it also seems like a smart business maneuver to be at the White House correspondence dinner. Because if they were to follow groupings of Republicans getting together at the same place at the same time, we see spikes, outages, etc, you know, you can look at turning point conviction conventions. You can look at the funeral pyrotechnic display of Charlie Kirk. And in Arizona, I understand that Grindr was just on fire and outages in certain places there. And so I do like that they said it is a place for all gay people. And so I like that Grindr is meeting people where they are. Yeah, I really think one of the most patriotic things that could happen would be for just a huge sting operation in this. And if somebody is passively in the closet, I, I support them. I support their decisions. It's not my business. But to the Republican politicians that ostracize gay people through legal means, through passing legislation towards culture wars, and then at night, they're fetishizing the, you know, they're doing gay stuff at night. I am a hypocrisy shamer. I want to shame people's hypocrisy because the Republicans have made these culture wars, like these big things, you know, like we're against woke trans ideology. What is that?
- [13:10]
D
What?
- [13:11]
B
What? What is that? What? I want to know. I'm against hypocritical ideology. I want to know why Moses Mike Grinder Johnson does what he does every single day and is so obsessed with pornography. And then he thinks Magic Mike is pornography that when he's, you know, I just, I Want to deep dive into all of that.
- [13:33]
D
What I want is a hero. I want a hero to go in and expose the whole thing. Like the screensh with Kristy gnomes husband. That's what I'm looking for here. That is what I need.
- [13:44]
B
I saw somebody it. There's a really funny tweet. Kylie, pull it up. It's called that gay candle guy. Oh, it's right here. He says that gay candle guy says. So the Hill tweets Grindr set to host the first White House correspondence dinner party. And that gay guy candle company says Lindsey Graham is about to be passed around like a rag doll. That makes me feel patriotic.
- [14:18]
D
Yeah. I mean, can you imagine if we got a big sting operation with all the Republicans and Mike Johnson is caught in the act? Like I don't think I could sleep for a week. I would be so excited.
- [14:34]
B
I would pull an all nighter with you. With. I mean, I would have like Homeland. The character Carrie, how she had her crazy wall. Oh, I'd be right. I just think. I think if we had spare time, this is what I would propose. That we do puns. We go to the White House correspondence center but not attend. We create incredible Grindr profiles and we are versed in all of the appropriate language to be able to do conduct a full blown sting operation. And we just, you know, throw the line out and then we just sit back and we just slowly start reeling them all in. I think it could be great time in a great form. Act of patriotism.
- [15:20]
D
Yeah. Great minds think alike. I was thinking the exact same thing. Set up about 100 Grinder profiles and just go up to D.C. and just fucking go. That would be. I would feel like that was the most patriotic thing we could do to prove we love our democracy. Is that.
- [15:39]
B
I agree. I agree. All right, Ryan.
- [15:42]
C
That's all we got.
- [15:43]
B
Okay. That was excellent, Ryan. This is our first episode of Ryan shares the news with us. Please like and subscribe. And we'll be back later with more news.
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F
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B
Another pina colada.
- [16:08]
F
Yes, please. Open a new retail location with 36% more square feet.
- [16:12]
E
Fantastic.
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F
Hire 36% more help.
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D
You're hired and you're hired.
- [16:16]
F
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