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Personal Development School Narrator
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Host 1
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Host 2
Welcome to IHIP News. Today is Ryan's birthday. Everybody drop in the comments and wish him a happy birthday. Pumps is traveling today. So Ryan, please fill me in on the news that intrigues the millennials this week.
Host 1
Thank you. We are starting with some news about Kash Patel. Kylie, if you can pop this up. Breaking AP from Kyle Griffin. When Cash Patel visited Hawaii last summer, the FBI took pains to note he was not on vacation. Left out of FBI's news releases was an exclusive excursion that Patel took days later when he participated in what government officials described as a quote, VIP snorkel around the USSR Arizona in an outing coordinated by the military. So Cash Patel is going to great lengths to do anything other than his job as FBI director, which, you know, you would think that someone under so much scrutiny would be a little more cautious about, you know, what they're doing, but he just doesn't give a shit.
Host 2
No, and I think this is just perfect for Cash. You know, this is just par for the course. He has FBI FBI agents as the designated driver for his girlfriend who is a country music sensation and world class patriot PJ rides for the aforementioned girlfriend and now VIP snorkel. All I can say about this is I would assume that this is better for him to be snorkeling than to be running the FBI. I would think that that is a better outcome for America because he clearly does not know how to run the FBI.
Host 3
I completely agree with that. And I also. All of this is coming out right now and I think that they're piling on because he's about to get the boot.
Host 1
Yes, that, and I think this is exactly why he should be so concerned about this defamation lawsuit that he filed against the Atlantic, because there's going to be a lot in discovery that's going to come out. This isn't even of the lawsuit. So, like, this is just the tip of the iceberg. So cash, you know, good luck.
Host 2
I think he's going to withdraw that lawsuit. I mean, once they get to discovery, he's not going to be able to do it. And I noticed that he has increased his digital footprint to talk about going after Trump's enemies. So he's really escalating this. I'm going to make the boss happy. I'm going to go after the radical left libard Democrats and all this stuff. I'm paraphrasing, but, you know, that's what they all say. So isn't it just fascinating that the political party of law and order gets a dipshit to run the FBI, a complete alcoholic dipshit who has completely dropped the bag on everything, on everything. But they're like, we're against crime and we're all for law and order. It's just this kind of stuff is just at this point, my reaction to every time I see a Trump cabinet member doing something like this, my response is perfect. I would expect nothing less. I just, I'm not going to have expectations that these people are competent and are going to do their jobs as.
Host 3
Speaking of incompetent Ryan, you want to queue up the Trump family, what they're up to.
Host 1
Yes. So earlier in the week we had a story about Trump phones and we have an update. So, Kylie, if you can pop this up, the T1 phone has arrived. Those who pre ordered the T1 phone will be receiving an update. Email phones start shipping this week. So this is a tweet from the Trump Mobile account. And then this got community noted on Twitter and it says, video is AI US. Flag has 11, then 9 stripes, plus back texture is inconsistent. And then it goes on to say that basically this model that they're giving to these People sells for $126 on Amazon. You know, the people who Pre ordered this phone, put down a $100 deposit and are paying $500 for the phone. And then we have some more details from chef Joe Guerra. Kylie, if you can pop this up, he says, you didn't design shit. This is an off the shelf re a device made by Wingtech called the Revel 7 Pro 5G and was available at T Mobile for $0. The 7 Pro has been replaced by the 8 Pro because this thing is over 18 months old and this is old stock that they bought to avoid a lawsuit. So at least these people are getting something.
Host 2
And I remember they're getting an email update. It sounds like it didn't say, you will be getting your phone soon. It's you will be getting a, an update via email. But you know, this is really something that the DOJ used to really open up an investigation for. This is just straight up fraud and theft. So they go, I think they sold 500,000 of these phones. People paid $100 in Trump's economy, in this MAGA economy. And it was all a grift. And typically that would be something that would be breaking news, an investigation, indictments. But this is dumb and dumber. The sons of Donald Trump that are doing this, the grift and the corruption of this administration is so overwhelming. And what worries me about all of this is just how normalized it is, how every day we wake up and there's some huge story about Trump. Dumb, dumber, Ivanka, Jared Kushner, Melania, even Barron's gotten in on some of this stuff. And it's just, oh, yeah, it's just normal. They're just ripping everybody off.
Host 3
I also read the data plan that people are supposed to pay assuming they get a phone cost 4745amonth. Trump's president numbers like, stupid.
Host 1
The silver lining for these people. In the corner of the phone, you know, where you would usually see Verizon or T Mobile, it says Trump in all caps. So, you know, they probably won't be too upset about that.
Host 3
They won't even mind.
Host 1
Yeah. All right, next we have a story about Katie Miller. Kylie, if you can pop this up. Paramount in talks with Katie Miller for podcast deal as an eyes expansion. So this story is a prime example of what we were talking with Mark Ruffalo about in the interview that we posted yesterday about how this merger is going to affect content. Content that is being put out by Paramount, Skydance, Warner Brothers Discovery. Katie Miller is not any type of star podcaster. I think she has somewhere around 60,000 subscribers on YouTube, which, no shade to anyone trying to build a YouTube channel. But, you know, this is not about talent. I think probably the most amount of play that her podcast gets is here on I've had it to kind of just call out all of the gaffes that her and her guests are making. And it's just a really sad development.
Host 3
I actually have the numbers here. It says her podcast has just under 58,000 YouTube subs and only got 3,700 views on her most recent episode.
Host 2
3,000 3,700.
Host 3
And this is being bought by Paramount.
Host 2
So here's. Here's the problem with Jeff Bezos, the Ellisons, all of these billionaires. All it takes is for incompetent, unqualified talentless people to kiss their ass and tell them they're great, and then they get to advance forward at the same time, all of these people. Katie Miller's podcast is I Oppose dei. I think women need to be breeding and staying at home. Meanwhile, she's doing a side hustle deal with a total fascist, David Ellison and his dad, Larry Ellison, who are completely funding fascism, who have tanked 60 Minutes. Real journalism, I mean, real important journalism in a democracy. And you have the Katie Millers of the world advancing that are talentless, racist, Nazi esque, insufferable. And here is Katie Miller ascending simply because she and her bizarre, immoral, insane husband kiss the ass of billionaires. And can you imagine that's your legacy in the history books? Well, they were really good ass kissers of billionaires. And you mentioned Mark Ruffalo. And you guys should go into our YouTube channel and watch this. There are people, all of you watching this. All of us here, pumps, who stand up and say, we are not going to normalize this. We are not going to pretend like this isn't corruption, like this isn't fascism. And we need to keep beating that drum because all of these media giants inflate their support, what MAGA's support is. And when you dive into the numbers and when you dive into the polling, it's just the cultists and the billionaires. That's it. The majority of us, it's like, oh, my God, am I going crazy? And it's like, no, you're not crazy. They are crazy. They are gaslighters, they are liars, they are fascists. And Katie Miller, these women that carry the water for the patriarchy like this, like Kristi Noem, Pam Bondi, we know what their fate was. And Tulsi Gabbard, all of these women that are carrying the Water for the patriarchy. Katie Miller, your grandkids and your kids one day. Because conservatives oftentimes want to send their kids to schools, prestigious schools where they learn how to critically think and they end up having liberal kids. And one day your offspring and your lineage are going to read in books about your Nazi husband, Stephen Miller, and you advising women to stay at home and breed and how your only purpose of a woman is to breed. And it's so magical. And here's the thing. I've just of had it with that. I, I'm a mother. I have kids. Everybody on the planet has a mother. Let's quit acting like this is some new novel thing. Yes, motherhood is important. It's incredible. But it's a different experience for everyone. And for her to act like, I just discovered this new great thing, breeding and motherhood, please. That shit's been going on for like literally hundreds of millions of years. And here she is pitching it to everybody like she's just discovered all of this wonderful new thing for women while at the same time she's to tear women and families down. She doesn't give a about anybody. She doesn't. I, I think she's breeding performatively. I think this is performative breeding. I want to know how many nannies that has because I bet it's abundant. Do you think she and Stephen Miller are tucking their kids in bed at night? Because I think they're probably reading Minec comp together as a family. That's what I think.
Host 3
Let's, let's hope they have nannies because I don't want them reading that to their children.
Host 1
Oh, God. Next we have a story about the Border Patrol chief. Kylie, if you can pop us up exclusive. The national chief of the Border Patrol, Michael Banks, was known among colleagues for taking regular trips abroad to engage in sex with prostitutes. According to six current and former Border Patrol employees who spoke with the Washington Examiner, Banks, quote, bragged to colleagues while in his previous management role at Border Patrol about paying for sex with prostitutes while traveling, traveling in Colombia and Thailand over the course of a decade. Banks behavior was said to have been investigated by Customs and Border Protection officials twice, including last year. But the investigation ended abruptly while Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem was in office, leading to more questions, which no one is surprised that under Kristi Noem's leadership, this kind of thing, an investigation into it was quash because we know that Kristi Noem has no, you know, moral clarity on anything and she will protect any sort of sex predator that she Can.
Host 2
Yes. And why, why the prostitutes abroad? Like, why not prostitutes in America? That's interesting to me. And when, and this is just me, Thailand is notorious for having underage prostitutes. And so that's just like a super red flag. But when you have Kristi Noem, who is screwing Corey Lewandowski, and then Kristi Noem's husband, Big Titty Brian, who wants to be a trans bimbo. His words, not mine. So of course the last thing she's going to do is deep dive into some sexual scandal because it's too close to home. But this is, this is a feature of MAGA Family values. This is a feature. They're all full of shit. They're all sexually broken beyond repair. All of them, the whole lot of them are completely sexually broken. And we, this breakage, we all know from when Trump said the Access Hollywood tape, you can grab them by the pussy. All of these family values Christian people. Oh, we love a traditional family. And, you know, we're all about America and we like conservative values. And Trump's out there grabbing by the. And here's just something I want to say. Like, Marjorie Taylor Greene is acting like Trump betrayed me. He didn't, he didn't want to dig into the Epstein files. And my thing is, I understand that she's going through some things and she's kind of deprogramming, whatever. I think it's somewhat performative, but we need to challenge these people and say, I'm sorry, but when he said grab him by the pussy 11 years ago, you still voted for him and now you're shocked that he's not interested in sexual assault. Like, Democrats never get off the hook for stuff like that. If we were going, oh, my God, you know, I had no idea that this kind of shit was going on. They would hold our feet to the fire and likewise, we need to hold their feet to the fire. And oftentimes Democrats capitulate to right wing framing all of the time. Like, we'll, we'll capitulate. Marjorie Taylor Greene has seen the light and she's, you know, she's really trying to get off the Trump train. Good for you, Marjorie. That's great. But why does it take 11 years when somebody in their own voice, it wasn't like the grab him by the was rumor. It was on tape. His voice, he had to admit to it. And so it just doesn't take that much critical thinking from that to go, well, of course he's not going to be interested in the Epstein, Epstein files because he's A part of this type of sexual assault culture. So anybody who works under Trump, they're fine with this stuff. I mean, I'm gonna, I say it all the time. Democrats need to message the following. MAGA Republicans are an anti family, pro pedophilia death cult. They all of their policies just lead to that. And it seems like every time you turn around, there's some MAGA guy doing some sort of sexual assault. This guy's internationally traveling for sex workers. And here's the thing, if somebody is into sex workers, it's not my business. What I'm more interested in is the hypocrisy of these people brow beating families that they don't think look the way as Aryan or as heteronormative as they want them to look. And so then they want to legislate bigotry against them.
Host 3
I also just want to, this is just my opinion, but I want to call bullshit on this story that he's being outed over prostitution because I've read multiple stories about DHS agents in camps impregnating young women and some of it's proven on the record. So I don't think his overseas prostitution is the full reason that they would kick someone out. They don't give a.
Host 2
Right, right. You're probably right. There probably is a lot more to it. I read this morning that 90% of all of the ICE detentions are illegal. 90%. 90%. And you're exactly right, Kylie. There have been rapes, sexual assaults, women that are begging to like see their kids. And the prison guards would say in these camps that we have now in the United States, like, okay, I'll let see your kid if you give me a blowjob or whatever. I mean, just really depraved stuff. And then you have to always go back to, these are the people that lecture us about family values, about Christian values, Judeo Christian. And they're always the worst. Every single time. They're always the worst. I, I've said this forever. My husband and I have said this forever. Anytime anybody says, well, we're a Christian family or we're for family values, if you have to say that, it's a red flag you're basically trying to mask for some secret you have right behind that facade or oh, he's a good
Host 3
Christian man, I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah,
Host 2
this guy's a perv beyond all recognition.
Host 1
Rod Stewart ran into King Charles on some kind of carpet and he had some pretty interesting words for him. Kylie, if you can play the clip,
Host 2
may I say, well done in the Americans. You heard, Absolutely. Super. To put that little rat bag in his place. Kelly, what did he say there? He put that. You put.
Host 3
You put that little rat bag in his place. And that's Trump.
Host 2
The little rat bag is Trump. And then King Charles. Chuckles. Yes, he tried to keep. Here's what's so important about this to me is Trump gaslights everybody. We're respected again. We're the hottest country in the world right now. Our country was dead, and we are so smoking hot right now, it's ridiculous. And everybody respects us. And the. The MAGA cultists lap that up. They're like, oh, yeah, we're badasses. You know, Pete Hegseth is doing Fly by Kid Rock's house, and we said, no, dei and we're firing black people. And we're saying, hey, gay people, you can't be in the military because we're such badasses. They're a complete laughing stock, an absolute laughing stock of epic proportions on the international stage, specifically, the. Every single notion that international people, non American people, had about Americans, the stereotype that they had about us, Loud, full of bluster. Think they're so exceptional when they're really not. Think they're better than everybody else. Obsessed with money. No integrity, not critical thinkers. All of our worst character defects and everything that everybody made fun of America for is personified in Donald Trump, in one person. And now they're like, we knew it. We knew you guys were like this.
Host 1
We're in. Donald Trump is an international embarrassment, and world, you know, leaders across the world aren't even trying to hide the fact that they're laughing at him. Literally, like, in his face. So it's a sad state of affairs.
Host 2
It really is. All right. Happy, happy birthday. Ryan pumps your Miss Today for this special birthday episode. We hope your travels are safe. And we'll be back later with more news.
Episode Title: Trump Caught By MAGA Loyalists in Massive F**k-Up & Kash Patel Makes Grave Mistake
Hosts: Jennifer Welch, Angie “Pumps” Sullivan (with guest host Ryan)
Date: May 16, 2026
Main Theme:
A sharp, comedic, and progressive take on the week’s major political scandals, highlighting the dysfunction within Trump-world and the MAGA-aligned right. The hosts dissect fresh Trump family grifts, corruption among MAGA figures such as Kash Patel, and hypocrisy in right-wing posturing around “family values”—all while dropping memorable zingers and analysis for a millennial, progressive audience.
Timestamps: 01:49–04:53
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Timestamps: 04:53–08:00
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Timestamps: 08:02–13:16
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Timestamps: 13:16–19:29
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Timestamps: 19:32–21:39
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End of summary.