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- [00:00]
Host
In the time it takes you to actually board that flight from Group 8.
- [00:03]
Analyst
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- [00:06]
Host
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- [00:11]
Analyst
Mid tier Altitude Elite. Feel free to board now.
- [00:13]
Host
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- [00:19]
Analyst
Now boarding groups one through seven.
- [00:22]
Commentator
So close.
- [00:23]
Host
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- [00:35]
Critic
The most insecure man on planet Earth, Donald Trump with his gold balls. And he has to rename the Kennedy Center.
- [00:42]
Analyst
Did you just say gold balls? I did.
- [00:49]
Critic
It was Freudian. Yeah, but he has no balls and he's changing. All.
- [00:55]
Commentator
Gold.
- [00:56]
Analyst
Sagging balls, apples in tube socks. All right, I'm sorry, Pumps. You just had it teed up and we have to laugh. Go on, proceed.
- [01:07]
Critic
Okay, so this man is so insecure, he's crying around about a Nobel Peace Prize. Crying around about he's never received a Kennedy center honor. This is real, folks.
- [01:21]
Commentator
In 78, the Kennedy Center Honors have been among the most prestigious awards in the performing arts. I wanted one. I was never able to get one this year. It's true, actually. I would have taken it if they would have called me. I waited and waited and waited and I said, the hell with it. I'll become chairman. I'll give myself an honor maybe I'm going to honor next year. We'll honor Trump. Okay.
- [01:45]
Critic
What a titty, baby. What a baby. What is his talent other than bankrupting businesses and committing fraud? And the grift? What would be his talent?
- [01:56]
Analyst
I'll tell you, his number one talent is that he formed one of the most racist, dangerous cults that America has ever seen. That's his number one talent. Other than that, he's an abject failure. And I just want to remind our listener, we used to chipmunk his voice, but we're not doing it anymore because we don't want to have any part of sane washing. And as Pumps reveals, as this interview, as this press conference goes on and on, you guys, the slurring, the train of consciousness, you have to hear it in its entirety and in its purest form because this man. How old is he, pumps? 97, 98.
- [02:32]
Critic
Somewhere in 108.
- [02:33]
Analyst
Yeah. And we've got the cankles. Pumps always points out that, you know, if all that blood is in the ankles, you know, it can't go to the aforementioned golden sagging balls. And so I think he's unraveling at a much greater speed. Okay, pumps go on.
- [02:52]
Critic
The thing about it is, it's like, I can't tell if he's slurring. He's not understanding what he's doing, if he's not able to read. I mean, there's so many different things you could go in a cognitive direction. Then, after telling us how he's going to give himself a Kennedy center honor, he talks about how big of a deal he is on the Hollywood walking thing.
- [03:15]
Commentator
Sly is a pillar of the really American pop culture and a Hollywood superstar like few others, and one of the biggest names on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. In fact, the only one that's a bigger name on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, they say, is a guy named Donald Trump. I'm on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, too, if you can believe that one. But he's amazing.
- [03:41]
Critic
Okay, I just want to remind everyone, this man is the President of the United States of America. This man is in charge of the nuclear codes, and what he's worried about is a Nobel Peace Prize, the Kennedy Center Honors, and making sure everybody knows he has a star in the Hollywood Walk of Fame. But this next clip goes to the cognitive decline, and it goes to the fact that he's meeting with murderous dictator Vladimir Putin on US Soil on Friday. And this is how he talks.
- [04:16]
Commentator
We redoing the parks, redoing the grass. You know, grass has a lifetime, like people have a lifetime, and the lifetime of this grass has long been gone. When you look at the parks where the grass is all tired, exhausted, we're going to redo the grass with the finest grasses. I know a lot about grass because I own a lot of golf courses, and if you don't have good grass, you're not in business.
- [04:43]
Critic
What is he talking about?
- [04:46]
Analyst
This is what psychiatrists call flight ideas. And so what we have here is a dual or triple diagnosis. And as an armchair psychiatrist, I would say, number one, of course, we have a malignant narcissist, probably with borderline personality disorder, combined with advanced dementia. And I don't know how the cankles impact this, but I would think that all of the blood being down at the feet is depriving blood from going to the brain. I'm not a doctor. He's not a doctor, but he made suggestions about, like, injecting bleach. So I'm just suggesting that I don't think his brain is getting the blood that it needs, because from what I'VE seen. It's all down in the cankles and the McTaco tits, which is why I think it would be really helpful, based on a lot of the MAGA men that I've seen, for him to introduce the MAGA man bra into his merch. And I'm dead serious, because at this point, why not, right? Why not have a MAGA man bra? We're not a serious country. We don't have serious politicians. We have really smart people in this country that geek out over policy that literally read all night, have never made a be in their lives that are just. I mean, something that.
- [06:03]
Commentator
That.
- [06:04]
Analyst
That is their passion in their field. And all of those people have now been demonized to support the dipshits in this administration.
- [06:14]
Critic
Well, it's. I'm so happy you brought that up, because it's a great segue. Here's the thing. It came to my attention yesterday that Donald Trump does not want any foreign policy experts, any Ukrainian experts, any experts, period, in his meeting with Vladimir Putin. He wants him and Vladimir Putin, and that fucking terrifies me, because we know here he can go off and talk about grass, we talk about windmills and Hannibal Lecter and all of that, but people's lives are at stake. And my first thought in just a catty way was, does Donald Trump's administration know any experts? Is there anybody in that administration that would qualify as a foreign policy expert? And I think the answer is probably no, but they are out there. So I am becoming ever more concerned about this meeting with a murderous dictator on U.S. soil.
- [07:11]
Analyst
I mean, there's no. First of all, Vladimir Putin should not be coming on US Soil. I read an article that the Trump administration is talking about giving up minerals in Alaska to Russia. And so if you're America first and that's your whole identity, and your whole identity is getting online all day and figuring out what you're supposed to support.
- [07:34]
Critic
We're.
- [07:35]
Analyst
We're succumbing to Russia. We're capitulating to a murderous dictator that literally would advance more into Ukraine. But American, you know, and European allies have kept it from going complete haywire. What people don't realize what Putin wants to do. Kiev is just a part of it. And then after that, it's going to be Poland. And he has ambitions to take over all of Europe. And Putin is just 10 to 15 years ahead of Trump. And what Trump wants to do. Trump, of course, you know, at his advanced stage, isn't going to make it that far. But what happens to all these oligarchs that went and kissed Putin's ring initially is they mysteriously start dying and then these companies are taken over by Putin or Putin aligned people. And so this is just such a dangerous path. It's going to dismantle our economy. It's going to make everybody less safe, our allies less safe if they even consider us an ally anymore, which I would think that they wouldn't. But you guys, now it's time to take a break for our sponsor. We want to thank you guys so much for helping us get to 1 million. And the best way you can support our show is to support our sponsors. And we need to talk about something. We all deal with pumps and I deal with it all the time. Of course I'm talking about a bad hair day, but what if those, those bad hair days could become a thing of the past? With I restore elite, you can say goodbye to thinning hair and hello to fuller, healthier locks. The Irestore Elite is clinically proven to help regrow hair using 300 lasers and 200 LEDs that send light therapy directly to your scalp.
- [09:15]
Critic
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- [09:25]
Analyst
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- [10:08]
Critic
What bothers me so much is that we are seeing no coverage of the mental decline like Fox News is still talking about Biden who covered it up. Trump is so bad it cannot be covered up. His cognitive decline cannot be covered up. He's meeting with Putin by himself. And this is just the lies we're so used to with him. He lie, lie, lie, lie, lie. But with the cognitive thing, I think he sounds medicated. Do you think it's medicated or just frontal lobe fucked up?
- [10:36]
Analyst
I think it's like a triple diagnosis. I think he probably is getting injected.
- [10:42]
Critic
Or see the bruise on his hand?
- [10:44]
Analyst
I think he's getting. I mean, I think they're juicing him. I think he's juicing. Yeah, I do. Well, there's always been the rumors that he's a big Adderall junkie and that causes him to have to wear the diaper and poop his pants. And there has been reporting that during his felony trial that people sat in his area that he stunk really bad, like poopy pants. And I'm not making that up. I mean, these. This has been reported that he stinks. Yeah.
- [11:06]
Critic
Rock solid reporting on that. But here's. I'm going to show you this last clip things.
- [11:11]
Commentator
But the biggest thing is, from a business standpoint, deductions. You know, that was tremendous. It's going to. Our. Our country is roaring. Our businesses are. You're going to see some numbers in 12 months when these factories are open. You know, we're opening up factories all over the world. All over the. All over the country. But that's all spreading to. I think we're spreading the wealth all over the world, if you want to know the truth. But we're opening them to this country at a level that we've never seen before.
- [11:39]
Critic
The biggest heaping pile of bullshit in the history of the world. Here's the deal. He's sitting there lying and making no sense, and we're not talking about why is this not the headline? The person with the nuclear codes can't form a sentence as he's lying. He sounds slurry, he sounds detached from reality. Something is wrong, there's no question.
- [12:00]
Analyst
Every lead of every headline should be Trump's mental decline on full display at press conference today. And then they should show clip after clip after clip, because any other politician would receive that type of treatment, because that's how dangerous it is. But the collective capitulation to this, to this patriarchal structure, to this insane man, it's unbelievable. They cover this press conference as though this is normal. Right. And there's a million other clips we could talk about. I mean, I've seen far worse, far worse than the ones that you showed here. I watched this morning where he is far more slurring and he's talking about asphalt and all sorts of crazy. And I mean, it's what you have to know. What everybody needs to realize is while he's doing these batshit crazy press conferences, there are forces that are keeping him occupied that are rolling out the worst dismantling of democracy actively. And you can watch the Project 2025 tracker. You guys. It's more than 50% complete. Wow.
- [13:10]
Critic
In six months. Please stick with us for more news like and subscribe this video. And please get a copy of our book Life is a Lazy Susan Sandwiches. And we've pinned the link in the show notes.