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- [00:00]
Commercial Announcer
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- [00:35]
Podcast Host (Pumps)
You know, we've had a lot of theories about Jesse Waters and Greg Gutfeld for quite some time and they love to cover us on their the Five. And which all of those people are terrible except for our queen Jessica Tarlov, who I love. But we've had a lot of theories about Press Pants, as I like to call her, Jesse Waters. And then now this is just what dropped on the Five yesterday. Play the clip.
- [01:02]
Jesse Waters (clip)
I want the penis. I want the penis. I want the penis. I want the penis. I want the penis.
- [01:08]
Podcast Host (Pumps)
I knew it. I knew it. I knew it the whole time. I have excellent radar capabilities about this stuff and I've been telling you guys for quite some time and now we have videographic testimony straight from the horse's mouth that he does in fact want the penis. Jesse, he talks about it a lot. And now we just, we have a direct statement from Ms. Pris Pants Pumps.
- [01:39]
Podcast Co-host (Sam)
I just, when I see what they are talking about on the 5 Save Jessica Tarloff. I think, can you imagine if you had a breaking news from ABC News and they wanted to talk about how wonderful it was and just how funny it was that the director of HHS cut off a raccoon's penis to study it? I mean like these people are not, this is not serious. This cannot be serious news, like for real.
- [02:11]
Podcast Host (Pumps)
The only way it could be serious is if they had a psychiatrist on there that said typically people who mutilate animals have severe personality disorders and mental illness. That is the only appropriate response to this. But if you're Jesse Waters, I mean, you know, this is a, this is, we were, we were Freudian before my, my case about Presspants. And now we're just moving into direct videographic statements from Jesse. The Freudian stuff has come to the surface and now he just says I want the penis. Will you play it one more time?
- [02:47]
Jesse Waters (clip)
The penis. I want the penis.
- [02:50]
Podcast Host (Pumps)
I mean, okay, so speaking of idiots at Fox, Peter Doocy actually had a decent question for Caroline Levitt in the White House briefing room the other day. Let's play this clip.
- [03:04]
Reporter/Interviewer (Peter Doocy)
Ten American scientists who have either gone missing or died since mid 2024. They all reportedly had access to classified nuclear or aerospace material. Is anybody investigating this to see these things are connected.
- [03:20]
White House Press Secretary (Caroline Levitt)
I've seen the report, Peter. I haven't spoken to our relevant agencies about it. I will certainly do that, and we'll get you an answer. If true, of course, that's definitely something I think this government and administration would deem worth looking into.
- [03:32]
Podcast Host (Pumps)
Okay, I've heard enough of her. This is crazy. Okay, so this is a story that is just. I kept getting like little nuggets of it. So Ryan kind of put it all together. Pumps I'm going to present it to you and the listener right now. So we have Michael David Hicks. Do we have a graphic here? Kylie yeah. Michael David Hicks, NASA he died July 2023. The coroner listed his cause of death as cardiovascular disease. The medical examiner still lists this case as open. Frank Mywald, NASA Principal researcher died July 4, 2024. Died in Los Angeles at the age of 61. No autopsy, no cause of death, no public statement. Anthony Chavez Former Los Alamos National Laboratory Missing Missing May 2025 he disappeared with no explanation and no resolution. Monica Reza, NASA JPL Director of Materials Processing Missing June 2025 she went missing while hiking in California's Angeles Angeles National Forest in June 2025 and no trace of her has been found. That's two. Missing Melissa Cassas, Los Alamos National Missing June 2025 50, 53 year old administrative worker at Los Alamos disappeared. There's three disappearances so far. PUMPS Stephen Garcia Nuclear weapons contractor missing August 2025. He was last seen walking out of his Albuquerque home on foot in a camouflage shirt carrying a handgun and has not been seen since. Jason Thomas Novartis pharmaceutical researcher died 26 he disappeared in December 2025 while reportedly struggling with deaths of his parents and his body was later found in a Massachusetts lake with no foul play. Suspected Nuno Lauriero, MIT Plasma Science Infusion center died December 25. The fusion scientist was shot and killed when he answered the door of his Brookline, Massachusetts home by a suspect who was also linked to the Brown University Mass. Shooting and later died by suicide. Carl Grill, a Caltech astrophysic physicist, died Feb. 26. He was found shot to death on the porch of his rural home in Yano with a suspect charged in connection with carjacking and home burglary. William Neil McCaslin, retired Air Force major general Missing he walked out of his New Mexico home Feb. 27 of 26 without his phone, wearable devices or prescription glasses and has not been seen since. So this is really crazy and if you think about what's happened with the FBI that we have Cash Patel, who's more interested in making sure he provides perks to his much more attractive girlfriend to keep her, you know, in his bed. This should be a complete FBI investigation. But we have these dipshits that have taken over our federal government, and this. These are just entirely too many cases to ignore. You have five or six people missing. You got people shot. Pumps. What's your take on that?
- [07:18]
Podcast Co-host (Sam)
I think something is fishy as hell. I mean, I just don't think that happens in a vacuum. Like, he walked out without his glasses, his phone. Did he walk out? I mean, like, all these questions come to my mind. But the problem with all of this is you have the dumbest podcaster on planet Earth, Cash Patel, running the FBI. And remember, a thousand agents were taken off cases to go through the Epstein files. That's what the report was. A thousand FBI agents. Then you have all of these agencies that investigate. They've been pulled off of their assignments so they can run with ice and deport people. So you have two. I mean, like, huge story, missing, conspiracy, all the things you could think of surrounding nuclear scientists, but we have to cover fat ass in the White House and Epstein, and we've got to make Stephen Miller's porn dreams happy by deporting brown people. So that's what our government's up to. So I do not expect a re. Resolution on this, nor do I expect confident or competent investigations.
- [08:30]
Podcast Host (Pumps)
I mean, also, I mean, I hate to jump into conspiracy theory here, but, like, these have really escalated in Trump 2.0. And I just. I have to say, you know, based on everything that Trump's doing, I just have. I don't trust the federal government at all. It's a. It's a crime syndicate.
- [08:48]
Podcast Co-host (Sam)
Yeah.
- [08:48]
Podcast Host (Pumps)
They fired any sort of civil servant that was bipartisan, that just wanted a job, a government, good government job to make. Not to be rich, but to make a decent living, get health insurance. They fired all of those people, per Elon Musk and others. And we. Our government is. Is a criminal crime syndicate operated by a bunch of dirty cops. Cash Patel's a dirty cop. Stephen Miller's a dirty cop. Donald Trump is a dirty cop. JD Vance is a dirty cop that wears eyeliner. And so I just have no faith in these people. And it's. It's really horrible living in a country that we've lived in as long as we have, where we did have faith in the institutions. Were they perfect? No. But that's gone. Like, that's completely gone. I have zero faith. Whatever this is, I'm certain there'll be some sort of mass cover up. Trump was asked about this yesterday. Play the clip down.
- [09:44]
Politician (Ro Khanna)
Crime.
- [09:46]
Reporter/Interviewer (Peter Doocy)
There are these 10 missing scientists with access to classified stuff, nuclear material, aerospace. They've all been gone missing or turned up dead in the last couple months. Based on what you've been briefed, what do you think is happening here? And do you think that this is connected or totally random? Well, I hope it's random, but we're going to know in the next week and a half. I just left the meeting on that subject, so pretty serious stuff, but we're going to be nothing.
- [10:12]
Podcast Host (Pumps)
He's changed it from two weeks to a week and a half. But here's my thing about how the press operates with him. You know, there he is standing there. This is a guy who goes on these benders at night tweeting crazy, you know, like, really, like, I'm Jesus. Oh, actually I'm a doctor. And then here's my arch. And then, you know, crazy conspiracy theory. And they ask him these serious questions like, Mr. President, these 11 people have gone missing. And what is your take on that? And it's just, even the way he's asked normal questions and how everybody operates as though he's all there, right. Is so irritating to me because I, I mean, I guess the person would get kicked out of the White House press pool, but I think it should be like, you know, a follow up question. Do you think you're competent enough to handle this? If you take. Have you recently taken another cognitive test?
- [11:01]
Podcast Co-host (Sam)
Quiet newspaper sex would go by. Can you imagine the meltdown? What do you think it would be?
- [11:08]
Podcast Host (Pumps)
Oh, he just. You're. Who are you with? Failing New York Times. You know, he's just, it's, he's such a petulant child and everybody just treats him like he's, you know, this normal person is so bothersome. All right, listener, I'm excited to share with you this spring that I'm all about shaking off the winter funk by resetting my routine. And if you're like me, you're craving a little fresh energy and focus as the season changes. And let me tell you, one of the best changes I've made is swapping out my usual coffee for something way better. It's called Mud Water. If you're a Matcha lover, their Matcha starter kit is a must try. It's the perfect way to step into clean energy with Matcha's calming focused boost. One sip and you'll feel like you're dancing barefoot in the grass. Seriously guys, it is that good. Every single ingredient in Mud Water's products are 100% USDA certified organic, non GMO, gluten free, vegan and kosher. There's also zero sugar and no sweeteners added. There's also caffeine, caffeine free blends available. And the best part about Mud Water is it provides sustained energy without the spikes and crash of traditional coffee. Listener ready to make the switch to cleaner Energy? Head to mudwater.com and grab your starter kit Today. Right now, our listeners get an exclusive deal up to 43% off your entire order plus free shipping and free rechargeable frother when you use the code IHIP. That's right up to 43% off with code IHIP at M U d w t r.com after you purchase, they'll ask where you found them. Please support our show and let them know that we sent you. But anyway, in the middle of the night last night, Little Moses Mike Johnson tried to sneak through a bill that would help the government spy on Americans and was met with a revolt of his own party. So he convenes everybody at midnight. Little Grindr does pop this up, ABC News reports. In the dead of night, the House passed a bill to ex extend FISA through April 30 by unanimous consent at 2:09am After Republicans tanked procedural votes on controversial warrantless surveillance law. House approved short term FISA spy powers extension amid GOP infighting. So the program sweeps up Americans communications without a warrant. It's a backdoor surveillance tool that can be abused by whoever controls the intelligence apparatus. Opposition from some in the GOP killed an 18 month extension of the bill, meaning there will need to be another vote on it in the coming weeks. And Ro Khanna comes out with this video right after the vote. Play the clip.
- [14:12]
Politician (Ro Khanna)
Republicans have called Congress back into session at midnight to cast a secret vote to reauthorize fisa. This would give Donald Trump the power to surveil or collect data on Americans through a backdoor. That really is not a philosophical debate here. A yes vote is a vote to give Donald Trump more power over American citizens. A no vote is a vote to stand up to Donald Trump. Every Democrat should be a no on the reauthorization of fisa.
- [14:44]
Podcast Host (Pumps)
And so you know, this is where you have to realize that it's an opportunity to message for Democrats and Ro Khanna is always at the at the forefront of this. But I would even expand that messaging to say this is the don't Tread On Me party. How many times have Republicans said we are for a limited government, we're for a tidy, small, neat and efficient government. Yet here we have Trump expanding the powers of the federal government and the Tread On Me people are now working for the government as ICE agents because these people believe in nothing except for owning the libs. They have fallen prey to online propaganda that they would rather scapegoat people who have a different political opinion from them than the true villains in this country, which are the corporations and the billionaires that exploit and take from workingclass Americans. The true parasites of this country are the donors and the funders of this MAGA regime that have rubber stamped and are funding a full blown dismantling of the United States democracy and funding and ushering in fascism.
- [15:57]
Podcast Co-host (Sam)
I completely agree with that. And I when the minute I hear about all this, I think Peter Thiel, like his face pops into my head because I know Palantir controls all this information. He was given everything, everything. And he is crazier than a shithouse rat. So it's terrifying when you think, who's got hold of all this stuff?
- [16:17]
Podcast Host (Pumps)
Yeah, yeah. And this is stuff that I have to point out too, being objective. This is stuff that started under George W. Bush and Dick Cheney and Obama didn't stop it and then it's just continued. So there's an argument when people say both parties do bad stuff, that's really true. Like, you know, we have to have a political opposition party that takes this government to a place where we are putting individuals rights first and foremost, not corporations, not Big Brother government spying on people. And it's going to take a. A political party that isn't bought and paid for like little prostitutes by Palantir and Apac. All right, that's all I have. All we have, like and subscribe. And we'll be back later with more news. Sam.