Imagine Heaven Podcast with John Burke

Episode: The Unbelievable NDE That Erased 30 Years of Memory

Date: November 20, 2025
Guest: Doug Kanaki

Episode Overview

This remarkable episode features Doug Kanaki, who experienced a life-altering Near-Death Experience (NDE) after contracting deadly meningitis in 2006. Doug awoke in the hospital with all memory of the past 30 years erased—believing it was 1969, not 2006. The episode dives deep into Doug’s journey through the trauma of amnesia, his vivid memories of heaven and a divine encounter, and the profound lessons about choices, love, and healing father wounds. Host John Burke, author and NDE researcher, guides the dialogue, reflecting on the intersection of faith, neuroscience, and the afterlife.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

Doug’s Background and the Lead-up to His NDE

• Driven by performance: Doug shares his upbringing marked by an emotionally distant father and an ongoing struggle to earn love and approval via achievement. This set the stage for his high-achieving but spiritually unsettled adulthood.
  • "God wasn't first in my life, you know, it was me trying to prove that I was worthy, that I could be somebody." (03:02)
• Childhood pain and father wounds: Doug recounts being one of four siblings in a family where his father played favorites and was abusive towards him, instilling feelings of worthlessness and anger.
  • "The first time I remember getting daylights whipped out of me is when I was 5 years old...I just felt like, you know, it just wasn't there." (04:29-07:03)
  • "When somebody tells you time and time again that you're never going to amount to anything... it's just pounding that into a kid's head." (09:07-09:55)
• Cycle-breaking: Doug made a conscious choice not to repeat his father's mistakes with his own children, prioritizing respect and affirmation in his parenting.
  • "I made this promise to myself that I would never treat my kids like that, that I would always treat my kids with respect, love, and kindness." (11:59)

The NDE: Medical Crisis and Memory Loss

• Sudden illness and coma: Doug describes the rapid onset of symptoms after returning from Mexico, slipping into a coma, and being declared near death as he became septic in the hospital.
  • "On a Glasgow Coma scale, that's a three. That's, that's the lowest score you can get. Data...they're dead." (17:34)
• Waking to amnesia: Doug awoke after three days with massive cognitive losses—30 years of memory gone, severe physical impairment, and a new sense of innocence:
  • "I had no cognitive, no memory of who she [my wife] was. I had no memory of being a home builder or a principal broker. I didn't know I had a total of four kids." (13:21)
  • “Came out of this near death experience…thought you were 20 and had lost 30 years of memory.” (14:04)
• The "50 First Dates" effect: His family had to reintroduce him to modern life—he didn’t know about computers, cellphones, or even his own house and career.

Doug’s Near-Death Experience: Darkness, Demons, and Divine Encounter

• Descent into darkness: During the coma, Doug found himself in a pitch-black void, witnessing terrifying, flaming beings approaching him.
  • "I'm just kind of looking around and all of a sudden I see something moving off in the distance...the closer it's getting to me, the bigger it's getting...flames coming off their bodies." (21:39-21:59)
• God’s intervention: The terror was interrupted by God’s presence, heard not with ears but deep inside, saying:
  • "Do not be afraid. I'm with you." (22:50)
  • “When God said that I knew exactly who it was, my soul knew exactly who that was.” (23:22)
• Heaven revealed: Instantly, the setting transformed. Doug experienced flying through a luminous, city-like heaven with buildings, beautiful colors, and an overwhelming sense of peace and belonging.
  • "Going down through the streets of heaven, and I'm flying...above the streets...I just knew it was heaven." (26:26-26:55)
  • “It was like all these different colors and, and shimmering...but then when you’re going down...there was actual earth...dirt...buildings.” (27:34-28:14)
  • "It was quiet, peaceful...The grass was maybe 3ft tall...the fog going through...it was just, like, so peaceful." (28:46)
• Divine life lesson: On a grassy knoll, God called Doug by his familiar name "Doug" (a sign of intimacy), and taught him about the ripple effect of choices using the image of a pond:
  • "Do you understand what all your choices mean and what they do and where they go?" (31:35)
  • "Those are your choices. They keep touching whoever...can affect those people as well." (31:55)
• A reluctant return: God informed Doug he was being sent back, despite Doug’s pleas to remain:
  • "Look, I've got something for you to do. I'm sending you back." (34:25)

The Aftermath—Living with Amnesia and Reconnecting

• Profound confusion: Doug’s return was bewildering. He didn’t know his wife, children, or basic technology—and clung to a sense of innocence, still believing he was in heaven:
  • "I don’t even know who I am...you’re a beautiful lady, but I have no clue who you are." (38:21)
  • "At this point I'm still thinking I'm kind of like in heaven...I was innocent." (39:57-40:35)
• Gradual reconnection: Recognition came in flashes, starting two months after discharge, triggered by looking at family photos. The emotional understanding of love for his wife returned first, before episodic memories.
  • "This is my wife. This is the lady you are in love with...like a Rolodex playing. All these different emotions and feelings...overwhelmed me." (51:45-52:58)
• A battle of identity: Doug struggled with a sense of a shadow self—an inner wrestling with his old nature:
  • "It was like this black figure kept showing up all the time...I fought it for the longest time." (54:16-55:38)
  • "After two years, it was like, I woke up one morning and it was over. It was inside me—the battle stopped." (60:09)

Lasting Lessons & Spiritual Reflections

• Father wounds and self-worth: Both Doug's account and John Burke’s commentary emphasize the lifelong impact of childhood wounds, especially the drive to prove one's worth passed down through family.
  • "He’s still trying prove himself to his father...never good enough...Many of us live in that trap, trying to prove ourselves to the world." (66:17-66:41)
• God’s view of us: In heaven, Doug experienced overwhelming love and belonging—not earned but given. John connects this to biblical truths about identity and acceptance by God.
  • "When they are in God’s presence, they experience the truth of how he feels about us. That your worth is based on who you are to God." (66:38-67:30)
• The ripple of choices: Doug’s vision—God’s pebble in the pond—highlights how even our smallest choices affect countless others.
  • "Your thoughts and your words and your actions ripple through humanity." (74:31)
• Integration of the self: The post-NDE struggle to reconcile his “innocent” heavenly self with earthly flaws echoes biblical descriptions of the tension between spirit and flesh (Galatians 5). Restoration meant accepting both the past and the potential for redemption.
  • "I had to accept it...the reality is we live in a world separated from God...yet we also have a spirit that...is united with God's spirit." (61:42-62:38 / 79:29-80:26)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On the terror of the dark void and rescue

• "I see something moving off in the distance...they're screeching and screaming...flames coming off their bodies." (21:39-21:59)
• "Do not be afraid. I'm with you. And the neat thing is when God said that I knew exactly who it was, my soul knew." (22:50 / 23:22)

On flying through heaven

• "I'm flying...above the streets...I just knew it was heaven." (26:26-26:55)

On God’s message to Doug

• “Doug, do you understand what all your choices mean and what they do and where they go? ...Those choices just keep going. They keep touching whoever, and they affect whatever choice you made, and it can affect those people as well.” (31:35-31:55)
• "I'm sending you back...I've got something for you to do." (34:25)

On amnesia and rediscovery

• "I don't even know who I am. You're a beautiful lady, but I have no clue who you are." (38:21)
• "This is my wife. This is the lady you are in love with." (51:45-52:58)
• "I was upset with God for sending me back...I put him in the same category as my dad, because I was not good enough." (49:23-49:54)

On the afterlife and innocence

• "I was innocent. And I kept telling my wife, 'Why would God send me back to this hell?'" (39:57-40:35)
• "You cannot be with God in heaven and have sin...I just felt like father and son when I was there." (56:02/56:51)

On the challenge of integration

• "It was like this black figure kept showing up all the time...I fought it...after two years...it was inside me. The battle stopped." (54:16-60:23)
• "For two months, when you came back from that, no battle, no thought of any temptation or sin or anything like that?" — "No, there was nothing there. I was just Peace." (61:06-61:12)

On the simplicity of the purpose of life

• "God doesn't need you to go do great things for him. God needs you to obey, to be obedient to the little things, the simple things." (75:59)
• "The most important choice...is a daily, moment by moment, letting our thoughts be guided by God's spirit." (80:23)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Doug’s Early Life and Father Wound: 04:29-11:59
• NDE and Memory Loss Explained: 13:21-20:27
• Description of the NDE (Darkness, Demons, Heaven): 20:33-29:40
• Conversation with God & The Ripple Effect of Choices: 29:40-34:25
• The Struggle of Returning with Amnesia: 36:24-45:42
• Reconnecting with Loved Ones (Photos, Emotions Return): 47:38-52:58
• The Shadow Self and Spiritual Integration: 54:16-62:38
• John Burke’s Reflections on Father Wounds and Identity: 66:02-68:30
• Lessons for Parenting, Favoritism, Discipline: 68:30-74:30
• Significance of Choices and Spiritual Practice: 74:30-82:44

Concluding Reflections

John Burke closes with key takeaways for listeners:

• Healing from old wounds requires shifting our sense of worth from the opinions of others to the unconditional love of God.
• Parenting (and grandparenting) should avoid favoritism and discipline that removes love; instead, follow a pattern of guidance and affirmation modeled by God.
• Every choice, even the smallest, has a ripple effect through humanity—so living consciously and guided by God’s spirit is crucial.
• Integration of our whole selves—past, present, light, and dark—is part of our human journey, but united with God’s spirit, we can walk in love, joy, peace, and purpose.

“Let the Holy Spirit guide your lives...the most important choice we can make is a daily, moment by moment, letting our thoughts be guided by God’s spirit.” — John Burke (79:28-80:23)

Doug's story is a moving testament to restoration, the power of loving choices, and the surprising ways in which God pursues each person—with purpose, patience, and unconditional love.

Recommended Resource:
Doug Kanaki’s memoir: Being 20 Again at 50 (available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble)

This episode is a compelling exploration of the mystery of the afterlife, trauma, and spiritual healing—rich with insights for all seeking hope, understanding, and deeper purpose.