← Imagine Heaven Podcast with John Burke
Imagine Heaven Podcast with John Burke
The Unbelievable NDE That Erased 30 Years of Memory
01:23:28
What if you died… met God… saw Heaven… and then woke up believing it was 1969? That’s exactly what happened to Doug Knake. One moment, Doug was slipping into darkness, chased by terrifying beings that looked like silhouettes made of fire. The next, a...
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- [00:01]
John Burke
Imagine 50 First Dates meets near death experience. Well, Doug Konaki had a near death experience in 2006 from a deadly case of meningitis. And after experiencing a conversation with God about the power of our choices, seeing the streets and the buildings of heaven, and then God sent him back saying, you have a purpose to fulfill on earth. And yet how bizarre, how mysterious that when Doug revives in 2006, in his mind, it's 1969. He literally lost over 30 years of memory. He was a very successful custom home builder at the time, yet he didn't know what a computer was that he used to run his business. He didn't know how to work an iPhone. He didn't even know who his wife was. He literally went back in time to a future he. He didn't understand. And yet his soul felt like he.
- [00:59]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Was still in heaven.
- [01:01]
John Burke
This is one of the most fascinating near death experience testimonies I've heard.
- [01:05]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Although I know I keep saying that.
- [01:07]
John Burke
But for those of you who don't know me, I'm John Burke, author of the New York Times bestselling book Imagine Heaven and Imagine the God of Heaven. And this is the Imagine Heaven podcast where we explore the commonalities of over 1500 near death experiences that I've studied and interviewed to see how they intersect with the timeless wisdom of scripture. Today we're going to talk about some important lessons around anger and father wounds and raising children, as well as the power of our choices and even more so I hope you'll stick around to the end where I dive deeper into that to help you actually become all God intended.
- [01:48]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Hey, welcome. Doug, thanks so much for being on the podcast.
- [01:52]
Doug Kanaki
Thank you for letting me be here and I totally look forward to.
- [01:57]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Well, having read your book, it was really exciting to think about, getting to hear more and dive in and probe around. Doug Kanaki had a near death experience, was it in 2006?
- [02:11]
Doug Kanaki
Yes.
- [02:13]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
And you said at that time you had never heard of anything like that?
- [02:17]
Doug Kanaki
No, I. I felt alone and I felt like I couldn't talk to anybody about it. And I. And I definitely didn't talk to, like, people that I knew, you know, because going through meningitis, I had an absolutely horrible experience, you know, recovering from it. And, you know, the title of my book is, is being 20 again at 50. So in 2006, I was 50 years old. I was like on the top of my game. So I was a home builder, a custom home builder, and a principal broker. And I mean, I was. Was kicking it. God wasn't first in my life, you know, it was me trying to prove that I was worthy, that, that I could be somebody. And I mean, I had like the best situation ever. And I mean, I have, I still have a beautiful wife, have four kids, seven grandkids, but at the time, you know, I'm like trying to set the world on fire. And I honestly feel that I. God wrote it in my story that I'm going to get meningitis. He wanted my attention.
- [03:44]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Well, and in that, in that near death experience when you had meningitis, a lot of things became more clear. Right, Because.
- [03:55]
Doug Kanaki
Yes, yeah.
- [03:56]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
And I want to, I want to dive into, you know, your near death experience, but also back up a little bit because if you don't mind sharing a little of the things that got you in this, you know, trying to prove your worth by performing and, you know, and doing really well. But, but I think so many of us get in this performance trap of trying to prove our worth to the world when we just need to understand our worth to God first so that then we can be of worth to the world, right? Yes.
- [04:30]
Doug Kanaki
Well, okay, so my childhood, I was one of four kids, so I had two brothers and a sister. And my dad was, you know, kind of a very outgoing type individual. And he played favoritisms with the kids and you know, like, so if you outperformed yourself and you did favor, fantastic, he rewarded you. And I wasn't a great swimmer, but my brothers, you know, I mean, they both got rides to college on swimming and, you know, the things I've learned, you know, each kid has a different personality, they had different expectations and what makes that person tick. My dad didn't take the time to figure out what made me tick. My reward, all I wanted was to be shown that I was loved. And I couldn't get that. It didn't matter how hard I tried, I just felt like, you know, it just wasn't there. And so the first time I remember getting daylights whipped out of me is when I was 5 years old and I had gotten a brand new box of crayons. Getting something new was like totally unexpected for me. I mean, it was like, you know, like I never had a new bike. I never got like really new clothes like the other kids did. And so I got a new box of crayons. So I went into the bedroom and I put two faces on the wall. One was sad, right? And so my dad comes in, he goes, who wrote on the wall? And I jumped up like, like, oh my gosh, you noticed Right. And. And I said, I did. I said, you like it? And. And he didn't say a word. He just grabbed me by my britches and hauled me off to the bedroom, pulled my clothes off and got his belt and just started whipping. I'm whipping me to the point where I'm, you know, black and blue. I'm screaming at the top of my lungs and I'm. And my mom's just standing, looking at her and I mean, I still see this in my mind today. Like, why are you just standing there? I didn't do anything that terrible, you.
- [07:04]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Know, and so my granddaughter's five, so, you know, I can't imagine, you know, I know. I mean, kids are, they're exploring and creating. They're trying to, you know, they're just trying to learn the world.
- [07:18]
Doug Kanaki
Yeah. So, you know, that was my life from that point forward was, was like, you know, you're a troubled child and I'm going to treat you like that. And I mean, I got to the point where I, I was probably jealous of my brothers, you know, because they always got something. Every time they, you know, perform really well, I was like, wow. I just, because, you know, I can't be me. I can't get something. And, you know, I just, I. So.
- [07:53]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Because it was only performance that was rewarded, right? Yeah.
- [07:57]
Doug Kanaki
And so I, I was, you know, like, like, okay, when I went to wrestling, I only got beat like one time, and it was, was the match that my dad showed up at in wrestling.
- [08:13]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
So you were, you were a wrestler?
- [08:15]
Doug Kanaki
Yeah, and I did really well. But, like, that was the last time you showed up. It was the first wrestling match and, and I was like, oh, my gosh, you know, I couldn't believe I went on to, to win several tournament type situations. And you know, like, you have to, I think you wrestle like 10 different people to fight, win the weight class. And, and I tell you what fueled my wrestling was my anger.
- [08:47]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Well, that so often is what, that's what happens, isn't it? Is when you. Yeah, it seeds in anger in, in children.
- [08:57]
Doug Kanaki
And I mean, I, I was taken out on whoever my opponent was. And you know, my brothers, I used to just, just let them have it because I was upset at them, you know, for always getting something. But I, you know, and that's something that, that, you know, when somebody tells you time and time again that you're never going to amount to anything, you're worthless. You know, you'll just always be nothing. I mean, that was the, the type of language that I would Hear all the time.
- [09:34]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Yeah.
- [09:35]
Doug Kanaki
I mean, when you keep pounding that into a kid's head all the time, they're not gonna want to be anybody. They're not going to want to do anything.
- [09:46]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
No.
- [09:47]
Doug Kanaki
Try and excel. They just. They're just gonna think, I'm. I'm a loser, I'm worthless.
- [09:55]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
And then you end up acting that way, right?
- [09:57]
Doug Kanaki
Yes. Yeah. And so I. Probably, through my first marriage, I was angry, I was upset. It's a hard thing to figure out. Why am I like this? And so I. I was married, like, 18 years the first time. And I mean, You know, it's not just one person's fault. It never is.
- [10:40]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
You know, I. I think one of the things that all of us have to deal with as we grow spiritually is the understanding that things have been passed down, and some of them are good and some of them are lies. You know, the evil. Evil uses hurt people to hurt people. And it. And it keeps happening unless we break that cycle. Right. I. I think it's what, you know, when God revealed himself to Moses in Exodus 34, up in the mountain, he says, I'm. I'm the God of compassion who showers loving kindness on a thousand generations.
- [11:18]
Doug Kanaki
Right.
- [11:19]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Mercy and compassion, he said, but I don't let the guilty go unpunished. Travels to the third and fourth generation. And you know what's fascinating? I've been diving in as I'm writing, studying epigenetics, and it's.
- [11:37]
John Burke
It's how our.
- [11:39]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Our traits and the things that we just, like you said here, over and over again, get seeded into our brain, but even into our DNA. And then it's what we pass on to our children.
- [11:50]
Doug Kanaki
Sure.
- [11:51]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
And so even. Even traits, you know, the good ones and the bad ones. And so each one has to, you know, cut it and do something about it.
- [12:00]
Doug Kanaki
But so I. I made this promise to myself that I would never treat my kids like that, that I would always treat my kids with respect, love, and kindness, you know, and try to be disrespect. I'm not disrespectful. But be respectful to them. Even in situations where you're upset at them, don't say something that you're going to regret. And that's. I've known my wife now for 29 years, and I'm the type of guy, I will not save something bad to her. I won't. I just won't do it. And. Because I want her to be able to look at me and look me in the eye and still be able to Say, I love that man. I respect that man. Because. Because he doesn't say hurtful things.
- [13:01]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Well, you broke, you broke that. You broke that chain.
- [13:05]
Doug Kanaki
Yes.
- [13:07]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Yeah, that's great.
- [13:08]
Doug Kanaki
I can tell you my wife is like the most amazing lady to me. She's. Especially after going through being sick like.
- [13:17]
John Burke
That.
- [13:21]
Doug Kanaki
I think a lot of people would have cut and run because the. Situation that I was in, I had no cognitive, no memory of who she was. I had no memory of being a home builder or a principal broker. I didn't know I had a total of four kids.
- [13:46]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Well, this is the thing, you know, we forgot to say at the first is that you lost 20 years of memory. When you came back.
- [13:55]
Doug Kanaki
30 years of memory.
- [13:57]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Oh, 30. 30 years of memory. 30 years of memory.
- [14:02]
Doug Kanaki
Being 20 again at 50 because you.
- [14:05]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Came out of this near death experience in the meningitis and thought you were 20 and had lost 30 years of memory.
- [14:13]
Doug Kanaki
Yes. So I. Unbelievable was we came back from Los Cabos, Mexico, and meningitis has a 10 day incubation period. So it was October. So I'm getting flu, like symptoms. I didn't. Didn't know anything about meningitis, so I just thought it was the flu. So I went, I started getting sick like on a Wednesday. I went through all my appointments, even went and worked out and came home and I told my wife, Diane, hey, I'm just gonna go to bed. I don't feel good. So I slept all night. Wednesday, I got up the next morning and I told her, I'm still sick, I don't feel good. So I stayed home all day Thursday, and for some reason I got out of bed 11:30 Thursday night, and I'm like really delirious. And I having troubles getting to the shower. And when I get into the shower, I still had my clothes on. This is how messed up I was. And I'm figuring out that I can't keep my balance. So I go to get out of the shower and I slipped and hit the floor like a ton of bricks. And that's what alerted my wife and my youngest son that were at home was that thud on the floor. And so meanwhile, I managed to pull myself up onto the countertop and I'm looking into the mirror and the only thing that had color was the blood running all down the side of my body like this. And everything else was like in grayscale. And. And I just look in the mirror and. And I remember saying, oh, wow, in slow motion and knowing that you've never had a surgery when they give You. The, the iv? Yeah, the IV or whatever it is. I can't remember.
- [16:18]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Anesthesia.
- [16:19]
Doug Kanaki
Anesthesia. You start like counting backwards. The next thing you know, you're kind of warping out and boom, you'. And that's exactly the way it felt. And so what was really weird when they found me, I'm still standing up, holding on to one of the French doors, and they're waving their hand in front of my eyes and yelling my name. And I had no idea they were even there. And so Nikki calls 91 1. Because my wife was just absolutely hysterical. EMTs show up, they say, hey, your vitals aren't checking out. Concussion. So they take me down to the main hospital and they asked my wife, you guys been out of the country? And she said, yeah, we got back from Mexico just, you know, a week or so ago. And so they do a spinal tampon. They draw your fluid and if it's cloudy, then they run a strand check of what form of meningitis do you have? So I had menococcal meningitis. And when I arrived at the hospital, I was unconscious, non responsive and septic.
- [17:31]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Oh, boy. You went septic that fast?
- [17:35]
Doug Kanaki
Yes. On a Glasgow Coma scale, that's a three. That's, that's the lowest score you can get. And the data they have on all those people that come into the hospital under those conditions, they're dead. And so, so here I am in a coma for three days, and I wake up and the neurologist, and I can hear the neurologist as I'm waking up, she's telling everybody to be quiet. So I'm like trying to focus, trying to figure out what's going on. And she says, hey, I need to ask you some questions. And so prior to this, they're basically preparing my wife that I was not going to make it because of the condition that it came in at. And they said even if he does happen to wake up, more than likely he's going to be in a vegetative state for the rest of his life. He's not going to be able to talk to you. He's just going to be there. So.
- [18:41]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
So they were getting no, no brainwaves or anything or just.
- [18:47]
Doug Kanaki
It was limited, Limited. You know, they just weren't. Weren't sure. I mean, they had me on three different types of antibiotics and, you know, all sorts of steroids and things like that. So I wake up and she asked me, I need to ask you questions. And she goes, do you know your name? And I said, it's done. So you have to understand, I went from 190 pounds to 148 in eight days.
- [19:16]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
You lost 50 pounds in eight days?
- [19:18]
Doug Kanaki
Yes.
- [19:19]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
My gosh.
- [19:21]
Doug Kanaki
And. And I lost my hearing in my right ear. So I'm completely deaf here. I have a. It's called a transponder that now I can hear on, on this side. But I looked like a stroke victim. So, like this whole side of my face was just sagging. It didn't have any movement. My right arm shook uncontrollably. My senses in my body got erased. So I didn't understand hot and cold, you know, just the whole balance thing was gone because of. Losing your hearing rapidly throws everything out of out of sync. Right. So you have five senses in your body and these senses create a harmony with each other. When you lose one, it throws everything in a whack. It just messes everything up.
- [20:22]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
And had you had, had you had your near death experience at this point when she wakes you up?
- [20:28]
Doug Kanaki
Yes. Yeah, I had already had it. When I was in the coma is when I had near death experience.
- [20:33]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Tell us about that. So what do you remember after being taken to the hospital? Or do you even remember being taken to the hospital?
- [20:40]
Doug Kanaki
No, I don't even remember that. The last thing I remember saying, oh, wow, in the bathroom. So I end up while I was in a coma. I end up waking up in the coma. Like, like I woke up into the sea of pitch blackness. Like, like this was eerie. It was like, why am I here? Kind of thing. And I mean, it just like went on forever.
- [21:08]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Were you, were you conscious? Were you yourself?
- [21:12]
Doug Kanaki
Yeah, yeah, it was. I was me when I was in that sea of pitch blackness. And I'm just kind of looking around and all of a sudden I see something moving off in the distance. And I'm looking at it and I'm just kind of going, you know, like, what is that? Right? And the closer it's getting to me, the bigger it's getting. And I can start hearing them screeching and screaming. And you can see flames coming off their bodies. And I mean, they're big and scary.
- [21:39]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
And what were, what was it?
- [21:42]
Doug Kanaki
I don't know. I don't. I can't. Like, I knew they were dark. They had like claw type hands. I just remember seeing big teeth.
- [21:56]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
And you said like, like flames coming out of their bodies.
- [21:59]
Doug Kanaki
Yes, flames were coming off their bodies. Huh. Okay. And so I mean, and is this.
- [22:07]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Does this feel like a. Like a dream? Like fuzzy?
- [22:11]
Doug Kanaki
Oh, no, it's to me Today, it's like I'm still there. It's like yesterday.
- [22:19]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
So the memory. The memory is not a mind memory. It's somewhere deeper.
- [22:24]
Doug Kanaki
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
- [22:26]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
And it was. And it was a. It was vivid.
- [22:32]
Doug Kanaki
Very much so. I mean, it was like. Like so traumatic to me. And, I mean, I felt like. Like there was no way out. I couldn't. I couldn't get in, get away from this. It was like I was, like, stuck.
- [22:47]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Were you there for a long time, or could you tell?
- [22:51]
Doug Kanaki
I don't know. I couldn't. I didn't feel like any time was involved in the situation. Like. Like I didn't even think about it. Didn't even think, like, time was a factor. But the next thing I know is when God said to me, he said, do not be afraid. I'm with you. And the neat thing about it is when God said that I knew exactly who it was, my soul knew exactly who that was.
- [23:23]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
And you had. You had. You had come to faith prior to this, right?
- [23:28]
John Burke
Yes.
- [23:28]
Doug Kanaki
I was actually saved when I was 20. Kind of unique as far as being 20 again.
- [23:37]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Mm. Interesting.
- [23:41]
Doug Kanaki
Well, I think why he sent me back to be 20 again so I would remember what it felt like to be saved. How you are, like, you got this fire inside you. Like, you want to tell everybody, you know, dude, you know, you need to know who Jesus is and, you know, so I think he wanted me to. To, like, have that play over in. In my mind again, in my soul, just. Just to, you know, help you, you know?
- [24:15]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Do you do you feel. Do you feel like you had. Had lost that along the way?
- [24:20]
Doug Kanaki
I did. I did. Yeah. No, I mean, I was trying to be somebody. I was, you know, trying to be a home builder and a broker and. And just. Just, you know, busy trying to show. Hey, you know, I never. I never bragged about what I had, but I. But I, like, had nice things.
- [24:41]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
So was that kind of like I am. I am this?
- [24:46]
Doug Kanaki
Yeah. Like. Like, I did it. I proved myself, right? So. But, you know, God had different plans for me.
- [24:56]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Well, what do you think? What was this place and what do you think was going on?
- [25:04]
Doug Kanaki
Well, I think the demons were coming for me. I think they were coming for me to take me to hell because I wasn't in hell. So when God said, do not be afraid. I'm with you, is when it just got absolutely beautiful. I mean, brilliant.
- [25:29]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Same. Same place. You didn't. You didn't move, or do you know?
- [25:32]
Doug Kanaki
No, didn't move. Didn't. Didn't go anywhere. You know, God was like, right there and everything, just like, he was protecting me. And, and I mean, it just like. Like everything just opened up and it was just instantaneous, like, beautiful right then and there, just that quick.
- [25:52]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
So kind of. Kind of like the. These, These demonic creatures wanted to. To come for you, but he was right there and saying, no, you're mine. Yeah, don't be afraid. I'm with you.
- [26:04]
Doug Kanaki
Yeah, well, and he was also trying to show you there's always a way out. And, and that's kind of what. How I took it that, you know, with God, you've always got a way out, get you out of your situation. It may not be according to how you want it, but you're going to get out. Yeah, but. So the next thing I remember is, like, going down through the streets of heaven, and, and I'm. I'm flying. I mean, somebody's got a hold of me, and I'm just, like, going right down through the streets of heaven. I'm. I'm above the streets, flying through the streets of heaven.
- [26:48]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
And how do you know? How do you know it's heaven?
- [26:51]
Doug Kanaki
I just knew it.
- [26:53]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
You just knew?
- [26:53]
Doug Kanaki
I knew it was heaven.
- [26:55]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
And what. What did it. What did you see? What did it look like?
- [27:00]
Doug Kanaki
Well, okay, so when. When, prior to doing that, when it got absolutely brilliant, then the, the foundations of heaven showed up and it was just like, like massive. And, and for a builder to. To see that, I was just like, oh, my goodness, that's just. It was ginormous. I mean, just huge. And. And I can't explain the colors or.
- [27:26]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
What do you. Are you seeing. Are you seeing a city or what are you seeing?
- [27:30]
Doug Kanaki
Yeah, it was like a city. It was what.
- [27:32]
John Burke
It was.
- [27:33]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
What did it look like?
- [27:35]
Doug Kanaki
I can't explain. Was brilliant. It was. It was like all these different colors and, and shimmering and. And you couldn't. Like, I don't know if it was crystal or what, but it was just brilliant. And. But then when you're going down. When I was going down through the streets of heaven, it was like there was actual earth. It was like dirt there. And, you know, different. Different types of buildings were, like, along the streets and that. And that's when I just ended up in this grassy knoll.
- [28:14]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
So did you. Did you see, like, a big walled city and then you. And then you flew over it or you went in through a gate or.
- [28:25]
John Burke
Went through it, right through the wall.
- [28:28]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Or, or in an entrance?
- [28:30]
Doug Kanaki
Went right through. I don't know if it was an entrance or what, but Next thing I know, I'm going down through the streets.
- [28:36]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Okay, but you're flying. You're like 10ft off the ground or something.
- [28:41]
Doug Kanaki
You said I'm not walking because I'm, like, going super fast.
- [28:45]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Okay.
- [28:46]
Doug Kanaki
Like, so fast. I was like, wow. You know, and. But that's. But the next thing I know, I'm sitting in a grassy knoll, and I'm just sitting there, and it's quiet, it's peaceful. You know, the grass was maybe 3ft tall. You could see, like, the. The fog going through the grass. You could hear it moving. And, I mean, it was just, like, so peaceful. And then all of a sudden, God said my name, and I'm like. You know, you kind of, like. It catches you off guard because you're, like, going, oh, wow.
- [29:23]
John Burke
Did you.
- [29:24]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Did you hear it audibly or how did you hear it?
- [29:27]
Doug Kanaki
No, it was inside because when. When God was talking to me, his voice was inside me.
- [29:35]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Okay.
- [29:36]
Doug Kanaki
It wasn't like. Like how you and I talk.
- [29:39]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Yeah.
- [29:40]
Doug Kanaki
When he talks to you, his what he wants you to get. Everything is alive. I mean, like. Like it's a movie, but it's. It's real. It's. It's not like. Like, I don't know. It's hard to explain because it has feelings. It has all these emotions that are attached to what's going on and what he puts inside you. And. And so people.
- [30:09]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
People have said to me that the communication of heaven is. It's impeccably pure. Like, it's not just the thoughts, but the feelings and all the associated understanding. So that you can't misunderstand at all. Is that.
- [30:23]
Doug Kanaki
It's exactly true. Exactly. So. So when he called my name, I was just kind of like, oh, my goodness. Because what do you say, right? What do you say to God when he calls your name?
- [30:36]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
I don't know. Was it. Was it Douglas, or was it Doug? Or do you use your. Did if he used your middle name, then you're in trouble, right?
- [30:43]
Doug Kanaki
Yes, that's exactly true. Because I was. I was just like, yeah, that's how my mom would.
- [30:51]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
I know my John Charles. And then, oh, oh, I did it. I got caught.
- [30:55]
John Burke
You'd be going.
- [30:56]
Doug Kanaki
She'd be going, douglas Charles Kanaki, you get in here.
- [31:03]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
But it wasn't like that.
- [31:05]
Doug Kanaki
So. So, like, people that know me, they call me Doug. Okay? People that don't know me call me Douglas. So people called me Doug.
- [31:13]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Doug.
- [31:14]
Doug Kanaki
So that shows he knows me.
- [31:16]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
He does know you.
- [31:18]
Doug Kanaki
So I'm. I'm sitting there and then the next thing he says to me, he says, and then he said my name again. And he goes, doug, do you understand what all your choices mean and what they do and where they go? And, you know, and I'm sure he's already just reading whatever was going on inside my head. And so. So to illustrate it, this pond just shows up. I mean, just like, there it is. Right. And you could hear the water running, and you could see the mist again.
- [31:51]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
So in. In this grassy knoll, it's almost like a pond just appeared.
- [31:55]
Doug Kanaki
Yeah. It just, like out of nowhere materialized. Yeah. And so that kind of makes me feel like I was in the third heaven, you know, because that's God's resting place. He drops his pebble in the pond, and he goes, you see those ripples? He says, those are your choices. Those choices just keep going. They keep touching whoever, and they affect whatever choice you made, and it can affect those people as well. And then he went and showed me, like, three different scenarios of what my choices could be. Not necessarily I was going to make those choices, but he showed them to me, and I wish I could remember. I don't.
- [32:46]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
That's one of those veiled things when you came back?
- [32:50]
Doug Kanaki
I think so.
- [32:51]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Well, was it. Was it a future.
- [32:53]
John Burke
Future events?
- [32:55]
Doug Kanaki
Yes. Yeah. He said this. If you made these choices, you know, this is what's going to happen.
- [33:02]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
And so he was trying to show you that. That you're. The choices you make in life don't just affect you, but all the people around you.
- [33:11]
Doug Kanaki
Exactly. So.
- [33:14]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
And why do you think he was showing you that?
- [33:17]
Doug Kanaki
Well, he told me, he says, you need to be careful what your choices are. Oh, that's what he told me. And. And then as soon as he got done showing me those three different scenarios, he said, I'm sending you back. I was, like, stunned that I'm going back. So I don't know if you want to call it arguing. I don't know if you can't argue.
- [33:39]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
With God, but a lot of people do.
- [33:42]
Doug Kanaki
I can imagine.
- [33:43]
John Burke
But, you know, Doug, I don't think.
- [33:46]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
I've met, well, maybe one or two, but of the thousands of people that I've interviewed and studied, everyone argues with him. Okay. Nobody wants to go back. They're. They're all like, no, I'm not going back. No way.
- [34:03]
Doug Kanaki
So I. I think I, being the type of person I am, I kind of pleaded with him, because I said to him, I said, look, I said this. I don't want to go back. I said, this place is Absolutely beautiful. I said, you know, and especially for me, my childhood, I said, this place is absolutely amazing. I said, I've never felt such love, peace in all my life.
- [34:26]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Were you feeling that from him?
- [34:28]
Doug Kanaki
Oh, my gosh, yeah. I mean, it was like all through you. It was around you. I mean, it was like you were swimming in it. I mean, it was just an unimaginable feeling. And so when, when he. So when, I guess when I got done pleading, he said, look, he said, I've got something for you to do. I'm sending you back. And that's when I started waking up in the hospital and I could hear people's voices. And.
- [35:00]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Did he tell you what you were supposed to do?
- [35:03]
Doug Kanaki
No. And, and I think about this all the time. What is it I'm supposed to do? And I keep talking to him about it. I said, just tell me what it is. And you know, you know, like, like I'll go to sleep. And you know, like, we listen to our Bible study at night when we're going to sleep, you know, and it's probably one, like one of the last things that, that I listen, that I think about. It's like, okay, are you going to tell me tonight? And you know, are you going to tell me tonight when I'm sleeping what it is? Because I can tell when he's talking to me and it's like I got this special connection with him. So, like I.
- [35:46]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
How, how can you, how can you tell when he's talking to you?
- [35:50]
Doug Kanaki
Just a different feeling. It's a different tone.
- [35:54]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
It's not audible, though.
- [35:56]
Doug Kanaki
It's quiet.
- [35:57]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
It's quiet like a thought inside, but, you know, it's not your own thought. Yeah, that's what I've learned as well, so. And I've also found that unless I act in faith on it, I don't get confirmation.
- [36:13]
Doug Kanaki
Sure.
- [36:14]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
But when I, when I act in faith, then many times I look back and I'm like, oh my gosh, you were prompting me to do that or to say that or, okay, so, so.
- [36:24]
Doug Kanaki
Like he's given me this incredible story to share with people because I should be dead. There's no question in my mind that I should be dead. And so I have this story that. That's just crazy, you know, to be 20 again and have to learn everything that's 30 years in the future. Like cell phones, flat screen TVs, garbage disposal, microwave.
- [36:56]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Okay, yeah, that's just mind blowing. So you were like, what's that movie, like, 30 First Dates or whatever?
- [37:02]
Doug Kanaki
Have you seen that? Yeah, like, the lady doesn't know who this dude is.
- [37:06]
John Burke
You.
- [37:06]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
You were that.
- [37:08]
John Burke
Yeah.
- [37:09]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
So.
- [37:10]
John Burke
So I think this.
- [37:10]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
I mean, you know, I think this is probably confusing to people. It is to me. Like, why would God say I have a purpose for you and then send you back and you've lost 30 years of life?
- [37:25]
Doug Kanaki
I have no idea. Why would he send me back to. To be 20 again? Yeah, I mean.
- [37:33]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
I mean, I'd love to be 20 again, but not if my wife didn't even know me.
- [37:39]
Doug Kanaki
Well, that's.
- [37:40]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Or you didn't know your wife? I guess.
- [37:42]
John Burke
No.
- [37:42]
Doug Kanaki
So the neurologist asked me if I knew this lady sitting next to the bed.
- [37:46]
John Burke
And.
- [37:47]
Doug Kanaki
And I'm like, already shaking my head no. And. And, you know, she. The neurologist tells me, just come up with a name. So I called her April instead of Diane. So the first thing my wife says to me is, who's April? I mean, I just woke up from a coma. I don't even know where I'm at. You know, I. I don't even know who I am. And. And I said to her, I said, look, I said. She told me to come up with a name. And I said, look, I said, you're a beautiful lady, but I have no clue who you are.
- [38:22]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Oh, my gosh.
- [38:24]
Doug Kanaki
And these tears just rolled down her face. I mean, she sobbing like crazy, and. And she was like, in the midst of sobbing, she's like arguing that I'm your wife. We did this together. We did this together, you know, and she's rattling off all these things that we did, and I'm like, I don't know you. Oh, my God, I'm sorry I upset you, but I don't know you. And, you know, she just. And she kept after me. She's okay. She's Italian, so she don't give up. So, like, like I was in the hospital for three weeks and. And my short term memory loss was so bad that she would take me down and give me a shower and I would wash my hair five times because I just forgot I did it.
- [39:18]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Oh, wow.
- [39:20]
Doug Kanaki
That bad. And so, like the last day, you know how they put you in a wheelchair and they roll you down the corridor to get you to your car? And I said to the nurse, I said, am I going to be okay going home with this lady? She puts her hand on my shoulder and says, she's a very nice lady. She's going to take great care of you.
- [39:41]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Oh, my gosh, that's so crazy. Okay, so I got to ask A question that people might be thinking is like, so you had lost 20, 30 years of memory. Did you remember the near death experience part at this point? Point.
- [39:58]
Doug Kanaki
Okay, so at this point I'm still thinking I'm kind of like in heaven because I kept telling everybody that I was innocent. Like, like I was still had this, you know, holy figure. And like there were, like there was no sin in me. And, and I kept telling my wife, I, I said, you know, I don't know what you're talking about, but I'm innocent. And, and I said to her a couple times, I said, why would God send me back to this hell? And, and I, I felt like I was like talking to God all the time.
- [40:36]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
So that was still, that was real to you, and you didn't forget that, but you had forgotten all your earth.
- [40:44]
Doug Kanaki
Yeah, but I could.
- [40:46]
John Burke
I wonder, you know, it's almost like.
- [40:48]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
You know, our neuroscience is even discovering that our minds are shaping our brains all the time. It's called neuroplasticity. So our brains are changing, but if our brains are compromised, I think our soul, which our mind and our will is all, you know, as our soul can't work through our brains to work our bodies.
- [41:14]
John Burke
Do you think that's what happened, is.
- [41:16]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Your brain was compromised? Even though your soul, your soul knew the things that knew. But all you, the memories. But I'm.
- [41:26]
John Burke
But the confusing part is. Okay, well, why wouldn't your soul have those memories?
- [41:33]
Doug Kanaki
I think I was still living it like I was in heaven. Okay. Because, you know, I kept like saying odd things to my wife and, and she would look at me like, what are you talking about?
- [41:49]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
And like, you're still there.
- [41:51]
Doug Kanaki
Yeah, like I'm still there. And, and she just. And I, I made her cry one time because I, I was so disappointed about being here. And I mean, and so I was like, oh my gosh, man. I'm like, okay, so you have to understand, my wife, she's just this tiny little thing, but she's got so much energy and so much power inside her. You know, she's just an incredible person. And so she put together like this huge prayer team when this was all evolving and finding out how bad it was. And so, you know, she was expecting me to come back as me, you know, to just be me again. And I wasn't, I wasn't. And you know, I was this 20 year old kid again, you know, a guy with a tool belt and power saw. And, you know, so. And it was hard for me to like grasp onto things because as soon as I would learn something, I would forget it. And so. So, like, I was big, big on computers. Like. Like, I used to do. Well, I still do, but I. Back then, I was designing custom homes and putting them on my CAD system. And then I. I wrote in my CAD system, like, 600 some formulas. So when. When I was doing my drawings, it would spit out all the quantities of materials that needed. And so. So I had these massive spreadsheets on every home that I built, and. And CAD drawings. You know, just hundreds and hundreds of CAD drawings of houses. And she got me on the computer, and, you know, she had to teach me 101. Like, what's a mouse? What. What are the things on the. On the keyboard? Right. And those things on the screen. You know, what. What are those?
- [43:55]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
So, I mean, you're literally back. Back in. In the past. Yeah, before. Before computers, before the Internet, before cell phones.
- [44:06]
Doug Kanaki
Yeah.
- [44:07]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
So what.
- [44:07]
John Burke
I mean, what was that like, to.
- [44:09]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Wake up to this new world of.
- [44:12]
Doug Kanaki
It was. It was so frustrating because everybody expected me to know, and, you know, I had no idea. And so. So my wife's like. Like, was so patient with me. Like, I was, like, home for about a week, and I'm sitting in my favorite chair that I don't know is my favorite chair. And so. So, like, she comes in, and she sets my laptop down, and I'm looking at it, and I go, what's that? She goes, that's your computer. You know, your laptop. You do all your CAD drawings, your blueprints for all the homes you build. I go, I build homes? And she's like, wow, this dude's out there, right? So she flips open the lid, and she hits the power button. You know how they light up? And I said, oh, it's a tv. And she goes, no, it's not a tv. She goes, what's your password? I said, what's a password?
- [45:10]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Oh, my gosh.
- [45:11]
Doug Kanaki
It was 1969. And, you know, so one of the funny moments was as we were, you know, driving home from the hospital, and we get into our subdivision, and we're pulling up our long driveway, and I'm sitting in the front seat, and I'm looking, and I'm going. Looking at this house, and I go. I go, oh, my gosh. I said, you live here? I said, you must be loaded. She looks at me, and she starts laughing, and she goes, you built the place? And I said, no, I've never seen this place. Place before in her life.
- [45:42]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Wow.
- [45:44]
Doug Kanaki
So she. She has to pick me up Because I don't know how to walk. And. And like, she has to help me move my feet to. To get to where we're going. And so, you know, like, anytime I had to want to do something, she had to pick me up and. And walk me. I mean, I was. I was. That's. That debilitated. And my cognitive was so bad that one plus one didn't get the two. I mean, it was just. It was like, I'm just a shell of a person.
- [46:20]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
I mean, how long did it take for you to. To regain, you know, your. I guess, anything. And then all of it.
- [46:31]
Doug Kanaki
Okay, So I was home, okay? So my wife had to watch me for four months, 24, seven. So she had to take. Take off of work and be there with me because meningitis is head trauma. So if I would have, like, got up and hit my head, it probably would have been all over with. So after about two months of her sitting down with me and reteaching me every time. This is the mouse. This is the keyboard. Those are apps on the screen. You click on them and something will open up. Well, she got me onto our family photos. I'm dead on taking pictures of our family. And so, like, two months, and I'm sitting there clicking through all these photos, and all of sudden, it dawns on me, and up to this point, my wife is just some lady taking care of me, right? She's just a nurse. And I'm clicking all these photos and.
- [47:38]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
What about your kids? Did you see your kids?
- [47:40]
Doug Kanaki
I had no idea. At this point, the only person I knew was my daughter.
- [47:45]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
So for some. Some reason, you knew your daughter?
- [47:48]
Doug Kanaki
Yes, and I knew her when she walked into the hospital room.
- [47:52]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Interesting.
- [47:53]
Doug Kanaki
Yeah. So she hands me a CD and, you know, like. Like this big around and. And I said, what's that? She goes, it's a cd, dad. You know, plays music. I said, no, they're black and about this big around.
- [48:06]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Yeah, Most people watching this don't know what an LP is.
- [48:11]
Doug Kanaki
So, you know, she goes, well, it's got your favorite band on there, you know, so I'm, you know, 1969. I'm thinking, like, Boston or, you know, Rolling Stones or, you know, something like that. She goes, no, dad, it's Dave Matthews. I'm going, dave Matthews who'?
- [48:27]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Well, at least you have good taste.
- [48:29]
Doug Kanaki
Yeah. Everybody in the room is kind of looking at me, oh, this guy's nuts.
- [48:34]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Wow.
- [48:36]
Doug Kanaki
Out there, right?
- [48:37]
John Burke
And.
- [48:37]
Doug Kanaki
And that's one of the biggest reasons why I never said anything to anybody about my near Death experience.
- [48:44]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Oh, yeah.
- [48:45]
Doug Kanaki
Makes sense. If I did, I wouldn't know what to call it. At that time. I had, I didn't even know what a near death experience was.
- [48:54]
John Burke
Yeah.
- [48:54]
Doug Kanaki
And. And it wasn't until I started doing research to write my book is when I am going through all this stuff on the computer and I'm going, oh, that's what this is. And, and I'm kind of going, nde. Oh, that makes sense, right?
- [49:13]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Yeah.
- [49:14]
Doug Kanaki
So, you know, it was just like, like this whole world was out there and I had no idea it was there.
- [49:22]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Yeah.
- [49:23]
Doug Kanaki
And. And I gotta be honest with you, I was upset with God for sending me back.
- [49:30]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Yeah.
- [49:31]
Doug Kanaki
I was not happy. I was like so disappointed. And, and I kind of like put him in the same category as my dad because, you know, I was not good enough. Was good enough to stay in heaven because that's how my dad was. To me, you're not good enough. You're not good enough to be anything.
- [49:55]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
So those evil was even trying to seed those lies back in like, that's why you, you got kicked out of heaven because you weren't good enough.
- [50:03]
Doug Kanaki
Very true.
- [50:04]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Wow.
- [50:06]
Doug Kanaki
So. And I gotta tell you, my wife is like an unbelievable person. She. So this is probably about five years ago and she could tell that I'm still struggling with. And I ended up telling her like four years later, five years later, what happened to me. And she made the comment to me, you know, you are different. I could tell something happened to you.
- [50:43]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
And she, you told her about the near death experience. And, and she said, you are different. How? How, how, what difference did she see?
- [50:50]
Doug Kanaki
You're just not the same person anymore. You know, you have the same loving, caring attitudes, but there's something different about you. And so, you know, that's why I didn't say anything to anybody about it because everybody always already thought I was nuts. You know, so I'm here. I am stuck in 1969, it's 2006, you know, and, and I'm like having the hardest time trying to find my way out. You know, it's like I'm trapped. I can't, I can't. My thoughts won't let me get out. And I tried to explain it in the book, but I don't know if I did a very good job of it.
- [51:37]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Yeah, I mean it was, it was great, but I, but I didn't really get like. Was there a click, like when you were looking at these pictures?
- [51:45]
Doug Kanaki
Yes.
- [51:46]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
You suddenly realized your wife is your wife.
- [51:49]
Doug Kanaki
So, so what?
- [51:50]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
And how long how long was that after you came out of the hospital?
- [51:54]
Doug Kanaki
It was about two months.
- [51:56]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Two months?
- [51:57]
Doug Kanaki
Yeah. So I'm. I'm sitting there, and Diane's in the kitchen, and I'm clicking through all these photos, and I'm going, wow. She's sitting on my lap, like, a lot of these photos, and we're, like, laughing and having a good time together, and I'm going, wow, maybe she is your wife. And as soon as I thought that, it was like this huge, oh, my gosh. I can't explain the emotions that ran through my body in my mind. It was just like, oh, my gosh, this is my wife. This is the lady you are in love with. And. And so, I mean, it just like. Like. Like a Rolodex playing. All these different emotions and feelings, just, like, they overwhelmed me. Like.
- [52:48]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Like, like all of a sudden, all of the cumulative thoughts and feelings and memories and all just, like, flooded back in.
- [52:59]
Doug Kanaki
What I felt about her. Did. Okay, okay. Like, events. Events didn't happen.
- [53:07]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Okay.
- [53:08]
Doug Kanaki
It wasn't until later. So I'm at this point, I'm still not able to walk, so I pull myself up out of the chair and I'm, like, hanging on to the walls and pieces of furniture to try and get out to the kitchen to tell her I know who she is. And.
- [53:29]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Wow.
- [53:30]
Doug Kanaki
So she sees me coming and she's looking at me like, oh, my goodness, what are you doing? Right? And I said to her, I said, I know who you are. I said, you're my wife. I said, I know. I love you.
- [53:42]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Oh.
- [53:44]
Doug Kanaki
So she's like. Like, breaks out in tears. She's laughing, she's crying. She's like, like. Like this emotional wreck right there because I remembered who she was. And. And she's just like, like, going, oh, my goodness. This, this. Because this is like, the first episode that had taken place that. That, like, shows that there's some hope.
- [54:11]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Yeah. Well, the first connection back to where you are. Yeah.
- [54:16]
Doug Kanaki
And it was like the first thing that. That took place that. That, okay, maybe, just maybe he's going to make it. Okay. So I don't know if I explained this in the book too good, but after that took place is when I started having this, like, a wrestling match with my thoughts, with the devil. Just like this black figure kept showing up all the time. And I feel it like it was in the room. And I mean, it was just like. You just got that eerie sense that it was there. And. And I mean, I fought it for the longest time. I just kept, like, what is going on. And you know, the farther in time that I got and the more I started knowing about myself that this thing kept telling me that that's you, that's you, that is you. It was my old nature.
- [55:38]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Really.
- [55:39]
Doug Kanaki
Yes. And up until that point, I'm still thinking I'm innocent.
- [55:48]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
You mean, so in heaven you felt like you were washed clean, sinless, innocent?
- [55:54]
Doug Kanaki
Yep.
- [55:55]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
And did you know. I'm just curious, but did you know.
- [55:59]
John Burke
Why you were that way in heaven?
- [56:03]
Doug Kanaki
Well, the only thing I can put my. My, you know, what I've been able to think and process is that you cannot be with God in heaven and have sin. You can't. There's just no way. It's his place. And, and so that's why I kept saying that I was innocent, because I felt innocent.
- [56:31]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Well, and you know, the other thing I know of a lot of near death experiencers is there in. In his presence, and they don't feel worthy, but they realize he made them worthy. Like what he did on the cross paid and washed us clean. Did you have any sense of that?
- [56:50]
Doug Kanaki
No.
- [56:51]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
You just knew.
- [56:52]
Doug Kanaki
I just felt like. Like father and son when I was there.
- [56:56]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Just felt like pure. Everything's right.
- [56:59]
Doug Kanaki
Yeah.
- [56:59]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Nothing's wrong.
- [57:01]
Doug Kanaki
No, everything was like magical. I mean, it was just. And. And I. I honestly say I can't wait to go back. I mean, me too.
- [57:14]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
But we have that stinking purpose that he won't tell us what it is. Right? Well, that's.
- [57:21]
Doug Kanaki
That.
- [57:21]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
That's why I'm writing.
- [57:23]
Doug Kanaki
Because I want to know what it is that I'm supposed to do.
- [57:28]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Well, I'm writing the book. Imagine your purpose for that reason. And not, not because I know, but because none of us really know. And yet, and yet he has told us. He's told us the central things, you know, and, and, and I think, you know, I think just like you said, as we walk with him day by day, he does guide us into it, you know, as. Okay, so. So wait, I want to. I want to understand. So, so you're starting. You're starting back with your wife. Like now you. You know the feeling you have for her, you know who she is, but you're having this shadow side that's kind of stalking you.
- [58:19]
Doug Kanaki
Yeah. And so like I go to sleep. It was there and I didn't want to go to sleep because it was like scaring the daylights out of me. It was like those demons in. In that dark place. And. But it was just like this aura was there. It was just like, like. And My memories were like, like a movie playing in my brain. Like, like, you know, it was so hard to, to try and figure out, is it a dream? Is it real? Is, Is this who I was? You know, just all these.
- [59:01]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
So you're starting to get past memories coming into your mind?
- [59:05]
Doug Kanaki
Yes.
- [59:05]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Okay, and, and do you, and do you think this, this shadow figure was. You think it was your conscious, your subconscious?
- [59:17]
Doug Kanaki
I, I think it was my old nature. I really did. I, I. That's the only, only conclusion that I can come to.
- [59:32]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
And, I mean, what happened with it?
- [59:35]
Doug Kanaki
Well, okay, so, like, I ended up like. Like I felt like I was in this constant battle with it. Like, like it was like, like it kept telling me, I'm a part of you. I am a part of you. And, and, you know, we're. I'm. And it's like it's trying to merge with me. And, and I'm just like, you know, I've kept fighting it and fighting and fighting it for the longest time. And, like, after two years, it was like, I woke up one morning and it was over.
- [60:10]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
What do you mean it was over?
- [60:11]
Doug Kanaki
It was inside me. Oh.
- [60:13]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
So there was no, like, letting go or surrendering or. It just.
- [60:19]
Doug Kanaki
All of a sudden it was a part of me.
- [60:21]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
And how did you know that?
- [60:24]
Doug Kanaki
Because the battle stopped.
- [60:26]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
And did you feel different?
- [60:30]
Doug Kanaki
Kind of, yeah. Yeah. Huh. That's so fascinating. Okay, so how you struggle to be able to walk with Jesus every day, to be able not to stray, not to sin, not to let Satan tempt you. So you have this battle going all the time. Okay, so before that, I didn't have that battle.
- [60:56]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Oh, really? So for two months, when you came back from that, no battle, no thought of any temptation or sin or anything like that?
- [61:06]
Doug Kanaki
No, there was nothing there. I was just Peace. It was peace.
- [61:13]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Wow.
- [61:16]
Doug Kanaki
Yeah.
- [61:17]
John Burke
Do you think, I always wonder, do.
- [61:20]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
You think it was like that all, all of those, I'm thinking, brain stuff, but neural networks that, that remembered all of the, all of the past sins and temptations and all that, and you were keeping it out, but it actually is a part of your history and you had to, you had to integrate.
- [61:42]
Doug Kanaki
I had to accept it.
- [61:44]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Yeah.
- [61:46]
Doug Kanaki
So, I mean, that's eventually what ended up happening.
- [61:49]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Yeah. Bummer. You're not sinless anymore.
- [61:55]
Doug Kanaki
I never was.
- [61:57]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
No, I'm just kidding. But, you know, that's so fast.
- [62:00]
Doug Kanaki
It is. Because, you know, when you're a meningitis survivor, you are absolutely clueless.
- [62:09]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Wow. I mean, it's so fascinating just to think about the, the Soul and the brain and. And our histories and. And how they operate, you know, but that's. That's probably true. I mean, it makes sense. Like, you were. You were feeling this purity because all you remembered was the experience of heaven. And yet to live on Earth, you couldn't reject the reality of who you'd been, the good and the bad.
- [62:38]
Doug Kanaki
And, and so, so, like, okay, so if you can take that person, you know, it'd be like taking an angel that knows nothing about Earth, right? And you setting in the midst of all this evil stuff that takes place. And his thoughts in his head are, wow, why are they doing this? Why are you keep doing all this stuff to each other? And those were my comments like, like, to my wife, you know, I was like, why are they doing all this crazy stuff? And, you know, at the time, I was not from here, you know, I was from heaven.
- [63:29]
John Burke
How long.
- [63:29]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
How long was it till, like, everything was back to normal? If there. If there wasn't normal?
- [63:36]
Doug Kanaki
But it was probably two and a half years over. It was over two years.
- [63:41]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Two years.
- [63:42]
Doug Kanaki
But I tell you, I did so much bacon in between there. It was unbelievable. I mean, people would come up to me and say, hey, man, how you doing? I'd be like, you know, I wouldn't even know.
- [63:54]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Hey, I'm a pastor. I have to do that all the time. Like, hey, you baptized me.
- [64:00]
John Burke
I'm like, oh, yeah, I remember that.
- [64:03]
Doug Kanaki
That's right. It was September 12th.
- [64:05]
John Burke
And, you know, I. I wish my.
- [64:08]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Memory were that good, but I mean. Yeah. Well, well, Doug, man, thank you so much for. For sharing your story. It needs to be a movie, and I want to encourage people to go. Go check out your book. It's called Being 20 Again at 50. Is that right? I get it.
- [64:25]
Doug Kanaki
Right. Yes.
- [64:26]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
So, yeah, where can you find it?
- [64:28]
Doug Kanaki
On Amazon and Barnes and Noble and that. So. So that's the COVID So my daughter actually did the design work in there.
- [64:39]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
That's cool.
- [64:41]
Doug Kanaki
So I went one step further and did a tattoo.
- [64:45]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Hey, look at you.
- [64:46]
Doug Kanaki
Yeah, I'm not.
- [64:48]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
I'm not as cool as you are.
- [64:50]
Doug Kanaki
Yeah, that hurt like crazy.
- [64:54]
John Burke
Now, you.
- [64:55]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Know what, what all the. The Gen Xers millennials have gone through. Well, Doug, thanks so much for.
- [65:06]
Doug Kanaki
To.
- [65:06]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
To be with us. And I want to encourage everybody to go check out Doug's book. It will encourage you and needs to be a movie someday.
- [65:15]
Doug Kanaki
I. It would be awesome if it was, but, you know, I'm not going to hold my breath.
- [65:20]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Well, thanks so much.
- [65:22]
Doug Kanaki
Okay, well, thank you, John. I. I this has meant so much to me. I appreciate it.
- [65:26]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Such a fascinating near death experience.
- [65:29]
John Burke
And I mean so many important lessons to ponder. And I want to ponder just a couple of them because, you know, my goal in doing this podcast is not just to entertain or even to inspire you with near death experience stories. There are other channels doing that. What I really want to do is help you better do life with God and for you to become all God intended you to be. So I want to dive in at the end of these to some of the important insights and biblical lessons that can actually help you in your life.
- [66:03]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
You know, a couple of them that I noticed with Doug's testimony.
- [66:08]
John Burke
One is the father wound. And I'll tell you, you know, Kathy and I started a church that we led for 25 years. And the father wound or parental wound.
- [66:18]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
It can be a mother too.
- [66:19]
John Burke
It's usually a father.
- [66:20]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
It's a real deal.
- [66:23]
John Burke
And it doesn't just go away. You know, here's Doug at 50 and he's a successful, very wealthy, lives in a big home, you know, custom home builder. But he's still trying prove himself to his father, that he's good enough because.
- [66:39]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
In to his father, he was never good enough.
- [66:42]
John Burke
If you listen to one of the past interviews I did with Ben Short, the, the Yank professional baseball player for the Yankees, same thing. Spending his life trying to prove himself to, to a dad who was never satisfied. And I say that because many of us live in that trap, trying to prove ourselves to the world. Maybe it's not a father or a mother, maybe it's some other authority figure, but the important thing to realize is you don't have to prove yourself to anyone when we're trying to do that. We're trying to prove we are worthy and yet we are already worth something to God. And God's opinion is actually the only one that matters. And that's just like Doug and these other near death experiencers realize when they are in God's presence, they experience the truth of how he feels about us. That your worth is based on who you are to God and to God. There is no one that matters more than you. Which if you don't believe that there, you know, keep listening to these podcasts because near death experiencers testify to that. But the question is if you, if you still struggle feeling like you can never just be at peace or settled, you know, there's always this low grade anxiety, always trying to conquer the next mountain to prove that you're worth something, then you need to ask God help Me heal this. You know, ask God. Maybe it's to replace those old curses like, like Doug had heard. You'll never amount to anything with, with what God actually says about you.
- [68:30]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
You know, some great ways to do.
- [68:32]
John Burke
This that I've talked about before is meditating on truth, because those are lies. But meditating on passages like Ephesians chapter one or Romans chapter eight. And then you know, really like making it personal like what God is saying that he feels about you. Another thing you can do, Kathy and I just wrote a devotional called the Imagine God devotion. It's 60 reflections on the heart of God. And the reason we did this was to give people a daily way to really meditate on one aspect of God's heart, God's attributes or character, and see how he actually feels about you. And it, it combines a truth from scripture with one or two near death experience stories of that and then a reflection on how you can actually bring that home into your life. So maybe that can help. And if you don't like to read we also did it in audiobook and I'll, I'll put all those links down below. But you've got to start to meditate on how God feels about you until you really believe that his opinion is all that matters. And if you have invited him into your life through what Jesus did to forgive all your sins, nothing else matters. And you can start to learn to be at peace, at rest. Now another important lesson I think that comes from this is for those of you guys who are still parents or maybe your grandparents and raising, you know, grandkids or even yet to be parents, you've got to be careful with favoritism. You know, you heard, you heard how it affected Doug, right? And how his dad just, you know, kind of pigeonholed him. Never took time to figure out the uniqueness of this child versus this other child. And this is true of all of us. I mean, I even have to pray about it with, you know, with my, my granddaughters of realizing, you know, one's wired this way, maybe I align more with the way the other is wired. But you don't want to just favor that one and neglect this one because they each have uniquenesses that God has made them that way. And you've got to call that out in them. It's very important.
- [70:58]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
And then discipline, you know, discipline is.
- [71:02]
John Burke
Another thing that we get so easily impatient or angry or we just discipline the way we were disciplined and, and many times when we discipline, we remove our love. In other words, because they did Something bad, we pull our love away. And that's never how God does it. And this is where I think near death experiences can help us understand better what the scriptures mean and what they really say. You know, In Ephesians, chapter 6, verse 4, it says this. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger. That's exactly what happened to Doug, right? He was provoked to anger and to try to prove himself. Do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. And it's very fascinating because this word discipline in the original Greek is the word paideia. It literally means child rearing or child training. So this is not punishment, this is guide train. Equip your child, guide them, don't provoke them to anger and guide them from the Lord. You know, near death experiencers can remind us that God never pulls his love away. His love is unconditional, even when we do things wrong. And when he is showing people their life review, he is gently guiding and correcting them, helping them to see the right way and why not to go the other way. You know, Howard Storm's testimony reminds me of this so much. You know, he's the one who had.
- [72:41]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
The hellish near death experience, cried out.
- [72:45]
John Burke
To Jesus and Jesus rescues him. And what he said to me, he said was, you know, as Jesus literally is holding him and he now realizes how wrong he was. He was an atheist, he thought Jesus was total bunk. And then Jesus saves him. And he, he said he realized in that moment and he didn't know how he realized it, but he realized that Jesus loved him just the way he was. That's what he said, that he loved me just the way I was. Now remember, he's in hell. Jesus just rescued him. And he said, he later in my life review showed me the things in my life that he did not like. And he said, and I can even say hated the way I acted and the things I did to others, but he always loved me. And that's so important for us to see, I think in raising children is that you don't ever want to take your love away when they do something wrong. Instead, you want to show them how much you love them and that you are guiding them. And sometimes even you might have to, you know, give discipline. That is removing something or a timeout or however you choose to do that. But you don't remove your love because it then provokes your children to anger. And it's not just the choices that we make with how we Deal with our children. All our choices matter. Doug said this again, right? God said, doug, do you understand what all your choices mean and what they do?
- [74:31]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Great question.
- [74:32]
John Burke
Let me, let me ask you. Do you understand what all your choices mean and what they do? And I think this is so important to realize because, you know, he shows him the ripple effect in this pond, and I'm, I'm in awe of how many near death experiencers have been in the presence of God. And in different ways, he gives them the same exact physical analogy of a rock dropping in an ocean and a ripple going out, or a pebble dropping in and ripple going through. And then him saying, your thoughts and your words and your actions ripple through humanity. And it all starts with our thoughts and our, and our choices. And I think this is so important to realize because that's really where the impact of life begins. You know, Matthew, chapter 22, Jesus made it real simple. You know, he, he said, love God with all your heart and then love your neighbor as yourself. Do these and you fulfill all the commandments of the, of the scriptures of the Bible. And I think what this is showing us is that God doesn't need you to go do great things for him. God needs you to obey, to be obedient to the little things, the simple things. First, loving your neighbor as yourself. What does that mean? Well, if you hate yourself, then how are you going to treat your neighbor?
- [75:59]
Doug Kanaki
Right?
- [76:00]
John Burke
And so it goes back to seeing ourselves as lovable because God made us worthy of his love, right? And then to treat and love our neighbor as, as God loves us, and to realize that every little choice like that that we make, it impacts the people around us and it ripples through humanity. And one day, and we'll, we'll do another episode on this. I've done one in the past, I think, but just how in the life review, God will show you that every little choice, every little act of kindness, you know, like he says In Matthew chapter 25, one day you'll stand before the king and you'll, you know, he'll say, come, you know, share my joy, my happiness, because I was sick and, and you looked after me. I was hungry and you fed me, I was thirsty, you gave me water. I was in prison and you visited me. And they'll say, when did we do this for you, Lord? And he'll say, when you did it to the least of these humans, you.
- [77:04]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Did it to me.
- [77:06]
John Burke
And so I think it's important to realize that becoming who God intended us to be is actually way simpler. Than we realize it happens choice by choice, moment by moment. You know, we are made right with God, and we can be secure with God because he's already forgiven us all our wrongs. That's what Jesus did when he paid for our wrongs on the cross. All you have to do is accept it, and you can be confident you're right with God forever. But he does that so that we won't hide from him, but instead we will walk with him through life. And now this is a fascinating insight as well, about. About our choices and how we have this sin nature and our spirit, or the flesh and the spirit. And Doug talked about that. Right? I. This was fascinating for me to ponder.
- [78:00]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Doug.
- [78:00]
John Burke
Doug said when he came back, he felt like he was still in heaven and pure. It's like because his mind was not working right, or somehow his soul could not use his mind to fully operate with all of his memories, he still felt like this pure spirit in God's presence in heaven. And that's what we will be. You know, we will be stripped of all the. The sin nature of the past. But then he has this shadow side that has to be reintegrated because the truth is, Doug, in the flesh as a human, had sinned and he'd done all these other things. And as long as he didn't integrate with that, he couldn't kind of come back to himself. Now, it doesn't mean those things are good. It just shows us that the reality is we live in a world separated from God and we live in these human bodies that, you know, they. They get tainted, they get stained, they get wounded. And all that is a part of the struggle of our sin nature. And yet we also have a spirit that if we have accepted what God's done through Christ and accepted his forgiveness, our spirit is united with God's spirit. So here's the fascinating thing. The Bible talks about this very thing that Doug referred to. Look at it in Galatians, chapter five.
- [79:28]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
And I'm going to read.
- [79:30]
John Burke
It's a big passage, but I think it really brings all this home for us. So let's look Galatians 5, starting in verse 16. So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives, okay? And that's a moment by moment guiding. Then you won't be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the spirit wants. This is the spirit of God. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These Two forces are constantly fighting each other. So you're not free to carry out your good intentions. But when you're directed by the spirit, you're not under law, you're free. The spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness.
- [80:23]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Gentleness and self control.
- [80:26]
John Burke
And there's no law against these things. See, the most important choice and your choices matter and they ripple through humanity. They affect you, but they also affect the people around you, even the ones that you think nobody sees. They do affect others. So the most important choice we can make is a daily, moment by moment, letting our thoughts be guided by God's spirit. That's what it means by walk by his spirit. It means throughout the moments of the day. And we're going to do a whole episode on this. I wrote a whole book on this called Soul Revolution. I think it's the one single most important thing, in fact the only thing we have to work hard at. And the rest, take care, takes care of itself. You know, it says if we'll just do this thing, this walking with God's spirit, then fruit grows naturally. And what's the fruit? It's love. You don't have to work real hard to become more loving or joyful or patient. You know, you struggle with patience or anger or, you know, it's hard for you to be kind or faithful or have self control. Well, working harder to be better is not the answer. That's the law. Instead, the answer is very simple to realize. God is always with you and his spirit wants to help you in each moment as you simply let him into your thoughts and ask him, what do you want me to be thinking? What do you want me to pay attention to? What do you want me to do? And as you learn to just be obedient to those thoughts, those promptings, then what you'll start to find, and I've seen this in my own life, is all these bad things just start to fade away. And instead these good things like love and joy and peace and patience and even self control, they start to grow naturally.
- [82:22]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
I can tell you it's real.
- [82:24]
John Burke
I mean, I have, I have led so many addicts and people in so much bondage you wouldn't even believe, but this simple practice, and they were just amazed that it wasn't them doing it.
- [82:37]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
It was God doing it for them.
- [82:40]
John Burke
As they just yielded and walked with.
- [82:42]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Him moment by moment.
- [82:44]
John Burke
Well, we'll talk more about that. I hope you know those little promptings and insights will help you. Like I said, to walk with God, to do life with God, and to become all God intended.
- [82:54]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Because you won't be sorry you did well.
- [82:58]
John Burke
Again, we've got audiobooks of Imagine Heaven, Imagine the God of Heaven, and this new Imagine God devotional. If you want to explore more the intersection of near death experiences and and the Bible, we'll put the links below. I hope you enjoyed this and even more. I hope it helps you in your relationship with God.
- [83:18]
Interviewer (Possibly John or Co-host)
Until next time, be blessed.