"The Friendship Bubble" with Elizabeth Alexander

Summary

Podcast Summary: "The Friendship Bubble" with Elizabeth Alexander

Podcast Information:

• Title: IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
• Host/Author: Higher Ground
• Episode: "The Friendship Bubble" with Elizabeth Alexander
• Release Date: May 2, 2023

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Introduction to Friendship

In the episode titled "The Friendship Bubble," Michelle Obama and Elizabeth Alexander delve deep into the essence of long-lasting friendships. Elizabeth Alexander, a distinguished poet and writer, reminisces about her 30-year friendship with Michelle Obama, highlighting the journey they've shared from their early days in Hyde Park, Chicago, to their present lives.

Notable Quote:

Elizabeth Alexander (00:07): "Michelle and I first met more than 30 years ago in a magical village in Chicago called Hyde Park."

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The Foundation of a Lasting Friendship

Elizabeth paints a vibrant picture of her enduring relationship with Michelle, emphasizing shared experiences such as motherhood, career twists, and personal growth. Their bond, rooted in mutual support and understanding, has weathered numerous life changes.

Notable Quote:

Elizabeth Alexander (04:11): "I appreciate its safety. I appreciate its family, I appreciate its honesty. Its sometimes very bracing honesty, but always true honesty."

Michelle echoes these sentiments, underscoring the significance of meaningful friendships in her life.

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The “Kitchen Table” as a Safe Haven

A pivotal metaphor in their discussion is Michelle's "kitchen table," representing a safe space for sharing, support, and genuine connection. She describes how this table served as a sanctuary during her early years and continued to be vital during her time as First Lady.

Notable Quote:

Michelle Obama (05:12): "One of my biggest tools is my kitchen table. ... my kitchen table on Euclid Avenue was that safe space for me."

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Navigating Friendships as First Lady

Michelle recounts the challenges of maintaining friendships while serving as the First Lady, where security protocols often create barriers. Despite these obstacles, she emphasizes the importance of intentionality in nurturing relationships.

Notable Quote:

Michelle Obama (12:04): "How do you meet people when you're surrounded by armed guards where people literally cannot touch you?"

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Story of Danielle: Overcoming Security Barriers

A compelling story shared by Michelle involves her friend Danielle. During a playdate at the White House, Michelle defied security protocols to personally escort Danielle’s child, Olivia, highlighting the lengths she would go to maintain genuine friendships.

Notable Quote:

Michelle Obama (16:05): "I walk out, and I'm like, hey, Danielle, come on, get out. ... We are good friends now."

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Intentionality in Building Friendships: Camp David Boot Camp

Michelle introduces the concept of being intentional with friendships through her unique approach of organizing boot camp weekends at Camp David. These retreats combined physical exercise with deep, meaningful conversations, fostering stronger bonds among friends.

Notable Quote:

Michelle Obama (17:32): "I thought what better way to do that than have a boot camp weekend at Camp David."

Elizabeth and other friends describe these retreats as transformative experiences that strengthened their connections both physically and emotionally.

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Listener Engagement: Audience Questions

The latter part of the episode features Michelle and Elizabeth addressing questions from their audience, offering personal insights into their roles within their friend groups, ideal leisurely activities, and behind-the-scenes realities of White House life.

Notable Interactions:

• Role in Friend Group:

  Michelle Obama (23:50): "I think I'm the therapist, jokester. That's my role."

• Perfect Rainy Saturday:

  Michelle Obama (24:33): "It's a great day if I'm all by myself... French fries, a glass of wine, popcorn, and a blanket."

• White House Reality:

  Michelle Obama (25:38): Discusses the hidden challenges of maintaining the White House, such as unexpected plumbing issues.

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Concluding Thoughts: The Reciprocity of Friendship

Michelle wraps up the conversation by emphasizing that friendship is a two-way street. She encourages listeners to actively reach out and maintain their relationships, highlighting the importance of being a good friend just as much as having good friends.

Notable Quote:

Michelle Obama (28:08): "Friendship really is a two-way street. You don't just want to have good friends, you gotta be a good friend too."

She urges listeners to reconnect with old friends, reinforcing the episode’s central theme of intentional and reciprocal friendships.

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Final Reflections

"The Friendship Bubble" offers an intimate glimpse into Michelle Obama’s and Elizabeth Alexander’s enduring friendship, illustrating the profound impact of intentionality, mutual support, and authentic connection. Through personal anecdotes and heartfelt discussions, the episode serves as a testament to the enduring power of friendship in navigating life's complexities.

Key Takeaways:

• Intentionality is Crucial: Actively nurturing friendships requires time and effort.
• Safe Spaces Foster Trust: Having a trusted environment, like the metaphorical kitchen table, strengthens bonds.
• Overcoming Barriers: Genuine connections can transcend challenges, even those posed by high-security environments.
• Reciprocity Matters: Being a good friend is as important as having good friends.

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Produced by: Higher Ground and Little Everywhere
Recorded at: Warner Theater, Washington, D.C.
Theme Song: "Unstoppable" by Sia
Closing Song: "Lovely Day" by Bill Withers

Transcript

[Michelle Obama]

The Light Podcast is presented by Starbucks and Intuit.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

It is wonderful to be here, and I'm so excited about the evening that we have ahead. And I want to tell you about my beloved sister friend, Michelle Obama. We're here to talk about a long friendship. Michelle and I first met more than 30 years ago in a magical village in Chicago called Hyde Park. President Obama and I were both teaching at the university there well before he became the president, well before it was even an idea. It was before any of us had children. It was before we moved away to other cities and new adventures. But from that moment on, Michelle and I have been on a life journey together. We were pregnant with our first children, Malia, and Solo, at the same time, and called ourselves comadres. We called ourselves comadres. And we've been at each other's sides through the changes of motherhood, as they grew to adulthood, the changing nature of familyhood, the twists and turns of careers, evolving bodies, growing older, making new dreams. So tonight, I am so honored and so very, very happy to introduce to you my beloved sister of 30 years, Michelle Lavon Robinson Obama.

[Michelle Obama]

Hey, everyone, this is Michelle Obama, and welcome to the Light Podcast. Now, it won't surprise you to hear me say that Barack is my best friend. It's sort of the standard answer for married people, but it also has the benefit of being true. In our case, he is the love of my life, my partner in all things, and someone who has seen me through the good, the bad, and everything in between. But honestly, I don't depend on Barack for everything. As much as I love him, I know that's too much to ask of anyone. And that's why I'm someone who takes her friendships very seriously. Whether I met you three months ago or three decades ago, if we've built a meaningful friendship, I will work hard to foster our relationship and be there for you when you need me. I've got your back because I know you got mine. And one of those people I know without a doubt that I can count on is my dear friend, Elizabeth Alexander. It felt like a warm blanket to sit down with her for a long, soulful conversation about friendship, fostering them, nurturing them, the deep humanity that lies within them. Now, I've known Elizabeth for 30 years, since long before the presidency was even a glimmer in Barack's eye. She's a distinguished poet and writer and academic, but to me, she's even more than that. She's an authentic and genuine friend, and she'll always have a spot at my Kitchen table. So I hope you enjoy our conversation.

My honey, sister, girlfriend, everything Elizabeth, this woman, you know, we could talk about her for hours. She is brilliant. And thank you. Thank you for sharing this night with me.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

Well, it is so wonderful to be able to do this and to have so many things to talk about, starting in the zone of friendship, the sacred zone of friendship and long, long friendship. That 30 years surprised me when I added it up.

[Michelle Obama]

I was like, oh, the kid was like, 30.

[Sharon Malone]

Really?

[Michelle Obama]

We don't look it, do we? We don't look like we've done anything.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

Not trying to look it.

[Michelle Obama]

We're not trying to look it at all.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

What I want to talk about is what I appreciate about our friendship. I've written some things down, and I have some more things to say.

[Michelle Obama]

Don't make me cry.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

No, we're not gonna cry till later. Maybe we'll build up to. So I appreciate its safety. I appreciate its family, Dom. I appreciate its honesty. Its sometimes very bracing honesty, but always true honesty, because that's what is so important. So those are just some of the things. And I wanted to go to the part of the book where you write about the weekends at Camp David that we would have with the girlfriends and what it was like to make new friends when you were first lady and what your friendships mean to you now as the girls have become adults and you and the president have moved into new stages of life.

[Michelle Obama]

Well, you know, I write a whole chapter which I call My kitchen table. And this is a book about the tools that I've adopted over the years that help keep me balanced and upright. Because that's a lot of what people write to me about, they ask me about, especially in these times. So this is not all the answers, but these are the answers that have helped me. And as we've said time and time again, the goal is to create a conversation because we all have the tools. It's just that we're often not asked to reflect upon them and realize how we're using them. And one of my biggest tools is my kitchen table. And why I call it a kitchen table is that that's where in a lot of families, where all the happenings go on, is at the kitchen table. And my kitchen table on Euclid Avenue was that safe space for me. It was a little bitty house, a little bitty table. But my brother and I, we could come there, we could throw the worries off our backs from the day we could see, sit and share, be ourselves, be seen. So that table from a very early Age was important to me, and as I grew, I just added to it. And when I got to the White House, it became even more important to have a strong kitchen table. People around me who had my back, you know, who were a safe haven for me, who could see me beyond what the world was trying to pin on me. And girlfriends at the table were critical. And our friendship started way back in Chicago, as you said. And seeing the pictures of Solo and Malia, I mean, what was beautiful about our friendship then and what I learned from it was that that was the first time I realized that you really cannot do this life alone.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

That's right.

[Michelle Obama]

And we would get together at friends houses. We had an elder group of individuals who would cook a couple of nights a week, and they would invite us over with our kids. And there was just a beauty as a young mother of being able to kind of come to a space where there was a community of people who would pick up your baby, just give you a second. You know, a lot of mothers are shaking their head where you just needed a. Just needed a minute so that you could get a breather, so that could then show up well for them. We had that space together. You know, we got fed at that table. You know, we were loved at that table. We were unconditionally loved. And our sisterhood grew from there.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

Yes.

[Michelle Obama]

Solo and Malia were playing on the floor together, you know, or sitting next.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

To each other in. Where we'd say, like, they're friends, aren't they? They're friends.

[Michelle Obama]

It's like, certainly they're friends, and they're going to be married. They're going to love each other, and they're going to be married.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

Yes. And I remember also, you know, what you learn from people who have done it before? Simple stuff. That one night, Sola was fussing, and so one of our group of friends just. And I got upset because he was new mother, new baby, baby's crying, Baby's crying, and said, like, just give him two wooden spoons.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah, two wooden spoons.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

And he just started click, click, clacking away, and he was fine for the next hour. But, you know, I think that idea also that our children were welcome, because children are welcome, which I think is something that's also really important in this idea of family. Not just the children who happen to live in your home, all of the children were welcome. And I think also. And you talk about this in the book, when you became first lady, things became very different, and you couldn't roam the land freely in friendship.

[Michelle Obama]

I was in the friendship bubble at the time.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

In the friendship bubble, so. So you had to be the one to get us together.

[Michelle Obama]

Well, and also I knew the importance of having friends. Even as first lady, I had a crop of what I call in the book, my barnacles. People like Elizabeth, those stalwart friends who were with you throughout the years. They are sturdy and hard and they're crusty and they last.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

Kinda.

[Michelle Obama]

And they're cute. They're cute and crusty. So I had my barnacles. But when we came to the White House, Malia and Sasha were still young. They were fifth grade and second graders, and we were trying to make sure that their life was as normal as possible. And in order for their lives to be possible, I had to be a normal mother, which meant that I had to have mom friends. I had to know what was going on in the school. And, you know, all the parents, you know what's going on from the other parents.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

That's right.

[Michelle Obama]

So I could. Yes. And you also know which parents not to be bothered with, too.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

That's right.

[Michelle Obama]

Yes.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

Everybody knows that.

[Laura]

I'm Laura and I live from Oakland, California. This is my best friend, Amanda. Yeah, we're all from a mom's group. So we all had babies together. Our babies were born the year that. That he was inaugurated. And we all came together, the hospitals, and so we all had never met each other before and ended up spending every Tuesday and Thursday together trying to navigate the newness of motherhood and what that meant for all of us.

[Amanda]

And this dates back 14 years.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Amanda]

So we didn't have the benefit of, like, the instant communication, but we would email each other at all hours because you're navigating how to breastfeed, feed, and, oh, my baby's not sleeping. And there was always somebody that was available. So we had a group email, and it would be three in the morning and there would be somebody else, and you didn't feel quite so alone.

[Laura]

Take care of you, take care of the baby. You eat, baby eats. You sleep, baby sleeps. Like, those are the ground rules, and you're killing it. Even though you're like, if you can do those four things, you win. Here we are 14 years later at Michelle Obama speaking to her.

[Michelle Obama]

We'll be right back with more of my discussion with Elizabeth. Oh, I just loved hearing those stories. And when we left off, Elizabeth and I were talking about friendship, too. Now, I'll be honest. When our family first moved into the White House, making friends felt pretty daunting. But nonetheless, I knew I Couldn't make it through four or hopefully eight years living in isolation.

So it was critical that I get in there and meet some people. But how do you meet people when you're surrounded by armed guards where people literally cannot touch you? You know, they can't come up and shake your hand because they'll be like, down, ma'am. I was like, well, that could have been a friend. You know, they don't care about my. So in order for me to make that happen, I had to extend myself. And I tell the story in the book of one of those first friends who was now a lifelong friend. Her name is Danielle. I tell the story of. Because I kind of picked her. You know, I picked her because, to tell the truth, the kids went to Sidwell. It was not that many black kids in the school. And so I saw little Olivia, who was a little black girl, and I was like, you're gonna have a play date, Sasha, with Olivia. That's Olivia. Now, at the time, Olivia and Sasha hated each other. So Sasha was like, I don't like Olivia. She did something to me. And I was like, well, you're gonna have a play date with her, because I need a friend. They are now the best of friends, and we make them thank us for that. But I saw Danielle, and she was. I liked her because she wasn't all up on me. You know, she wasn't thirsty, you know, and there were those that were always right here. And let me tell you something. And she would always fade into the back. And I was like, I want to. You know, I want to invite Olivia over to a play date, but the experience of having a play date with the daughter of the first lady is an experience. So I didn't realize until afterwards. She told me the story of what that experience was like for her. Picking up her child from the play date at the White House.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

Mm.

[Michelle Obama]

She told me she got. First she got her hair and nails done, of course.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

Of course.

[Michelle Obama]

Got her car washed, because as a black woman, she was thinking about her mother going, you are not gonna show up. That's right. With a dirty car and messed up nails. It was a Saturday. Nothing was going on. But she got her car washed and nails done. She wasn't even supposed to be getting out of the car. That wasn't the plan. She was just. But just in case, she wasn't even gonna dry it up on that driveway looking messy. You have to leave your Social Security number. You have to. You know, you have to give all of your personal information just to pick your Child up from my house. So the play date is over. I know Danielle is downstairs to pick up Olivia. And usually the procedure is that the president, first lady, do not leave the residence. The guests are escorted up and down by what are called ushers. And I thought, well, I can't let this child be walked out of a play date by some man. Right? That's not normal. And I know her mother's gonna wanna know what happened. It's like, did Olivia act a fool up in here? So I thought the least I could do normally was just go down and look her in the eye and go, girl, she was good. Everything was fine. That was the normal thing to do. That's what you would do. And I was like, I am normal. I was just normal just the other day. So I'm not going to act brand new now. So I, unbeknownst to all the security guards, walk down the stairs, down the elevator with Olivia, through the dip room, out into the South Lawn. And when the principals walk out, all the security pops into action. So CAT team, black vests, machine guns, snipers. Yeah, all of it, slowly start descending on the lawn toward her car. And what they had told her was, under no circumstances are you to leave the car, ma'am.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

Mm.

[Michelle Obama]

So I walk out, and I'm like, hey, Danielle, come on, get out. She's like, come on, get out. She's looking at me. She's looking at them. I'm looking at them. I was like, let her out. She slowly gets out. And I like the way she played it cool, you know, she didn't look like she was shaking in her boots. She wasn't sweating.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

She's very cool.

[Michelle Obama]

She's very cool. We had a brief conversation, and from then on, another Daisy in my life was born. And we are good friends now. We are all good friends.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

All good friends. Well, you gave your friends friends.

[Michelle Obama]

Yes. Yes.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

So you gave your friends friends. And, I mean, just to say, I want to talk about Camp David and the exercise.

[Michelle Obama]

Yes. So, yeah, this is. I'm surprised I still have friends after this. But this is the importance of the intentionality of friendship, which is one of the points I make in here, that even before the White House, my friendships are important. But you have to plan it. You have to be intentional about it. You have to schedule it, as Elizabeth said. So being as busy as I was, I needed to black out time. And so what I decided, because I was trying to multitask, I need to exercise, be with my friends, all of that all at once. So I thought what better way to do that than have a boot camp weekend at Camp David?

[Elizabeth Alexander]

Oh, my God. Ooh, pts.

[Michelle Obama]

So I gathered all my friends, and of course they were like, ooh, we're going to Camp David. Little did they know that what that meant was three workouts a day.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

With Marines.

[Michelle Obama]

With Marines, yeah.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

Actually leading us through the exercise like we were.

[Michelle Obama]

But they would take us through boxing lessons. This is when we were playing dodgeball one time, and it got vicious. You know, we would climb Bertha, which was a hill on Camp David. We would do calisthenics. We would meditate.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

We would be a bit of a mountain, actually, as I recall, it was a mountain named for a serious black lady. It was called Bertha. And we would go up. It was a mountain.

[Michelle Obama]

We would go up and down and up and down. Well, these are pictures in different places because what happened is that Camp David, the exercise extended beyond. Because I wanted my girlfriends to be healthy. And I knew that we were all busy women, doctors, business people, professionals, mothers. That we needed to teach each other how to take care of ourselves. We needed to challenge ourselves. We needed to learn how to sweat together and to bond together. Now, I didn't allow wine.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

First time. The first time.

[Michelle Obama]

The first time. And then nobody was going to come back if I didn't put wine.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

We were so busy. We got so busy because we just, you know, there was no wine. We need to just relax our muscles.

[Michelle Obama]

After we used them, I added wine back in. So we would do our boot camps at least three times a year. And that's how all my friends became friends with each other.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

Yes.

[Michelle Obama]

And that, you know, I guess the point I'm making is that we need friends. We have to be intentional about it. There are too many people who are reporting a level of loneliness and isolation in record numbers. And we have. And for the young people, you know, Elizabeth and I were talking about this. A lot of young professionals have gotten used to over quarantine, wanting to work from home, you know, and it feels like that's a good thing. Because the thing about isolating yourself is that you don't have to compromise, you don't have to adapt. But when you are isolated and don't get into the practice of regular engagement with people looking people in the eye, sitting across the table and not across the zoom with a person, you don't build up the kind of trust and familiarity and connection that we need as humans. And I think that's one of the reasons why we're all acting a little crazy right now. You know, that we have been isolated, away from each other. So with young people, you know, I would encourage you, even if you can work from home, to find time to connect and learn how to do that. Because if you can't do it at work, you miss being able to do it among your friends. And that's where isolation and loneliness comes in. And when that happens, you start to not trust anyone. You only trust yourself. What you hear, your world gets small. And that's something that we have to work against. And my point is that if I can do it as first lady of the United States, anybody can make a friend. Anybody can push themselves out of their comfort zone, and it's a critical thing to do.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

No, that's right.

[Sharon Malone]

I will never forget the first invitation I got to Camp David.

[Michelle Obama]

Dr. Sharon Malone is a very dear friend of mine, an important member of my kitchen table. I'll never forget the first time I invited her to Camp David with some of my girlfriends. I told her to come for a nice, relaxing weekend. She was surprised by what happened next.

[Sharon Malone]

I have to tell you, I had no idea what to expect. I'd never been there before. But it was going to be a retreat. I said, okay. And my idea of a retreat was, we'll be getting massages, we'll have cocktails, and we'll sit by the pool. And I have to tell you, nothing was farther from the truth. Our retreats were really based on health and wellness and eating well and exercising. And, I mean, exercising to a level that I don't think many of us who were there had ever exercised like that before. We would start the day with meditation. We'd have three workouts a day. But the fun part of the whole event was our kitchen table, our dining table, actually. At the end of the day, we had worked out, we felt good, a little bit of fatigue. But this one, this was the opportunity that we got to really hash out what was going on with us and imagine a table with 10 women around it where no topic was off limits. We talked about our children, our family, our jobs, what was going on with us personally and, you know, even our parents and families. It was a supportive environment where we could get advice, support, seek counsel from our friends, and get honest responses. And I have to tell you, of all the things that we did in Camp David, I think that was the most nourishing for our souls. We exercised our bodies in ways that we thought we could never do, and we did. And we ended our day always with the love and support and care of the women around us.

[Michelle Obama]

We'll be right back with more of my discussion with Elizabeth.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

We have some fantastic questions.

[Michelle Obama]

Questions.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

Yes, questions.

[Michelle Obama]

Questions from the audience.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

From the audience, in fact. Let's start out with Nikki from Crestwood dc.

[Michelle Obama]

Nikki.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

Nikki.

[Michelle Obama]

Is Nikki in the house?

[Elizabeth Alexander]

Nikki from Crestwood D.C. says you speak often about the wonderful gift of girlfriends and women friendships. As we have been discussing. Which role do you play in your girl group? The jokester, the mother, the therapist, the one who keeps the peace. Which role do you play?

[Michelle Obama]

You know, I said this. I think I'm the therapist, jokester. That's. That's my role.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

We're all funny. I think.

[Michelle Obama]

I think so. I think I'm funnier than you all are. No, I'm just kidding.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

She's the funniest of them all.

[Unknown]

I just.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

And I think also you are the. I think you're the anchor. I think you are the anchor. You are.

[Michelle Obama]

Well, I had the biggest house for the longest.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

Very big house. And you had the best snacks.

[Michelle Obama]

That's right. I had better snacks.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

Francine from Baltimore wants to know how you spend a perfect rainy Saturday. What are you doing all day? Watching tv.

[Michelle Obama]

Yup.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

Music on. What are you eating? Who is around? How is that day spent perfectly for you?

[Michelle Obama]

Well, it's a great day if I'm all by myself. Why? I love my husband. Sometimes he peeks in and go, why are you watching that? And it's like, get out of here. I want to watch Real Housewives and don't judge me.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

Get.

[Michelle Obama]

Real Housewives with, like, French fries, a glass of wine, popcorn, and a blanket popcorn. But if it's a real special day, it would be French fries, not popcorn. You wanted my ideal day, popcorn is like, meh, French fries.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

And what else might make that day perfect rainy Saturday?

[Michelle Obama]

And then I go to bed early.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

Yes, yes, yes, yes. And then last audience question is. So this is Jenna from Lexington, Kentucky. If I could be a fly at all on the White House wall, what would I be most surprised about? I imagine it all feels fancy and your every move is taken care of. What is the reality?

[Michelle Obama]

You know, and I probably will regret saying this.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

Take a beat, baby.

[Michelle Obama]

It is definitely fancy by all standards. Butlers, florists, ushers that usher people up and down your house. As I, you know, there's gardens and things like that. But it's also an old building, and it is because politically, it is hard for a sitting president to make the decision to spend the money to do repairs because the other party will criticize the president and say, oh, look, he's taking taxpayer money. So I will just say this to the people in here. The White House needs to be cared for. And it is an old house and it needs new wiring. And you know, one day we were in our bed on a Sunday and it's across from the dining room and this was the first term and Sasha comes in, she's little and we're sort of sleeping in. So she comes in and she's like, mom, it's raining in the dining room. And Baracker and I are like, what? She said, it's raining in the dining room. And we said, okay, go to bed. Get out of here, get out of here. Because we thought she'd just trying to get us up. And then it got quiet and I heard rain. So I get up, put on my robe, I cross the hall and it is raining. Literally. A pipe that was so old had burst and it was pouring down rain. And luckily the staff was there and they moved the priceless art away, but it ruined the ceiling. But I say that to say that, that there are old pipes that burst and could destroy that house. It could catch fire. So if a president, regardless of party, decides to renovate, do not. Don't get mad. Don't get mad. It needs it. It needs it.

[Elizabeth Alexander]

Thank you, you all, thank you so much.

[Michelle Obama]

Thank you. Elizabeth Alexander. Thank you. When I wake up.

Oh, I just love Elizabeth. We talked a lot about friendship in this discussion, but one thing I wanted to emphasize is this. Friendship really is a two way street. You don't just want to have good friends, you gotta be a good friend too.

That means taking the time to check.

In on your kitchen table, dropping in when you're in the area, even just a text when you think about them. In fact, is there someone in your life that you haven't been in touch with for a while? Why don't you give them a call or shoot them a message right now? I bet you'll be glad you did. All I know is that I'm so glad I had a chance to have this conversation with one of my best friends in the world. Elizabeth is really just incredible and I hope you got a glimpse of that as you listened. And as always, thank you for listening.

[Sharon Malone]

Talk soon.

[Unknown]

This has been a Higher Ground and Audible original produced by Higher Ground and Little Everywhere Executive produced by Dan Fearman and Muktamohan for Higher Ground and Jane Marie for Little Everywhere Audible executive producers Zola Mashariki and Nick D'Angelo Audible co producers Keith Wooten and Glynn Pogue Produced by Mike Richter with Additional production by Joy Sanford, Dan Gallucci, Nancy Golumbisky and Lisa Polak, with production support from Andrew Epin, Jen 11 and Julia Murray. Location recording by Jody Elf. Special thanks to Melissa Winter, Jill Van Lokeren, Krystle Carson, Alex Macieli, Hayley Ewing, Marron Hailey Mescal, Ciara Tyler, Carl, Ray Njeri Radway, Meredith Koop, Sarah Corbett, Tyler Lechtenberg, and Usra Najum. The theme song is Unstoppable by Sia. The closing song is Lovely Day by Bill Withers. Audible Head of US Content Rachel Giazza, Head of Audible Studios zola mashariki Copyright 2023 by Higher Ground Audio, LLC. Sound recording Copyright 2023 by Higher Ground Audio, LLC. Voiceover by Novena Carmel this episode was recorded live at the Warner Theater in Washington, dc.

[Michelle Obama]

When the day that Lighter hit up seemed impossible to fade.