← Impact Podcast, Mentorship with Eddie Wilson
Impact Podcast, Mentorship with Eddie Wilson
47 - Strength Under Control | The Fastest Way to Become a Leader of Leaders
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Welcome to the Impact Podcast. I'm Eddie Wilson, here to help you visualize what others cannot see, create opportunities where others have failed, and push you to build empires where once there was empty space. Let's embark on this journey together and make a difference in this world. Welcome to the Impact Podcast with Eddie Wilson. Today, we're not going to talk about soft skills. We're going to talk about strength under control. We're going to talk to you about the different levels of leadership and some of those things that the strongest leaders possess. And I want you to measure yourself against them. I want you to think through today, how do I measure against these traits that are present in this ultimate level of leadership? I've written a book called the Titan Doctrine. Many of you have already read it and commented on it, and I've done some episodes on it. And one of those things that I constantly teach are these things that leaders possess, right? Like these items, these, these characteristics, these traits. And today I'm going to talk to you about the highest level. I'm going to talk to you about the tiers of leadership and the highest level. Most leaders, as they're beginning to advance, chase strength, dominance and control. But the ones that actually build something that lasts learn that it's strength in the beginning that then releases into a soft walk with a deep awareness of self, others and an appreciation for the mystery of the journey. And today we're going to talk about that as we jump into leadership and as we push ourselves that there are levels to this. This episode is going to unpack these three traits that, that feel gentle but actually are marks of the greatest strength you can possess. The weight of leadership and clarity and also inner freedom. So as we jump in today, I want you again to measure yourself as a just kind of a word of wisdom to you. I would highly recommend that you listen to these podcasts on a weekly basis and make application on a weekly basis. Many times people will hit me up on social and say how they've binge watched these. And while I'm appreciative of all of you, we've had over a million downloads in our first 45 shows. I'm appreciative of all that. But I also would love if you guys would make sure that you are systematic in listening and then when you think of how it applies to yourself, take notes and make application that week. And then also as you begin to think about those around you. For instance, if you're leading a team, share this with them. Help them to see the greater steps of Leadership. Share with your team. Share with the people around you, and let's all rise together. So the question is, is, are you, as a leader, strong enough to bend? Can you build a business without ego? Can you build a business without the demonstrative characteristics that we typically see in leadership? You know, in my book, the Titan Doctrine, I talk a lot about these very, very strong leaders, and some of them with really strong egos. You think about someone like Alexander the Great, and Alexander the Great believed that he was deity. Think about the highest level of ego. He believed that he was a God. He believed he couldn't be killed. Like, he believed that his abilities far surpassed any human on the earth. Like, think about that level of ego. Well, the crazy thing is that allows you to succeed, right? Like, Alexander the Great became one of the world's greatest conquerors, but he also died at a very young age. He, you know, he didn't have the ability to actually build a true empire. And you think about some of the people that are the great empire builders. They're not the ones that have this massive ego like Alexander the Great. I was recently reading a book, and it's, it's by Bill O'Reilly called Confronting Evil. And in one of the chapters, it talks about Genghis Khan, the great Mongolian leader and warrior, and how he killed millions and millions of people and how, how he essentially spread the. The Mongol Empire all throughout Asia and, and, and, and all into essentially Eastern, or. Yeah, Eastern Europe. And, and how he dominated that area. But what you see is, is Genghis Khan dying, right? Like, and, and then you see all of a sudden the Mongol Empire disappearing. It begins to erode. And, and even though today, think about this, over 14% of every person who has an Asian descent comes from that Mongol empire. 14%. And so you think about Genghis Khan. He spread across the world, right? Like his, his, his input was lasting, but his empire was, was fleeting. It was fading. Why? Because ego can only take you so far. So a really strong leader is one who has the ability to bend. And, and they're strong enough to bend without breaking. You can be confident without ego. So as we walk into this, I wanna talk about a few traits, okay? A few traits that are present when leadership grows. I believe that there's three levels of leadership. There are those that lead themselves, right? Like leaders of themselves. And by the way, you're never qualified to lead others until you can lead yourself. Number two, there are leaders of followers. The world is full of followers. The world is full of people that Say, lead me, help me, show me, guide me. And they're everywhere, right? And so you can lead followers, but then there's a third echelon of leadership, which would be leaders of leaders, right? So that's where all the leaders who possess the ability of leadership look to you and also are willing to be led. And so there are people who can, you know, step out and say, follow me. And the masses will follow because they're predisposed to follow. But there are oftentimes people that say, follow me. And the big, strong leaders around them say, I'm not going. Why is it, what is it that a leader of leaders possesses? And I want you to check yourself right now. You say, well, I am a leader. I've got these people that are following. I'm developing people. But are you a leader of leaders? Are you leading the highest caliber and level of leadership? Let me give you the traits. And these traits are going to be the exact opposite of what you believe it's going to take to be a leader. Going to be the exact opposite, number one. The first trait is someone who has a sense of wonder. A sense of wonder. What is wonder? Wonder is the humility to say, I haven't seen it all yet. When you get to a place where you believe you've seen it all, you've done it all, and there is no advancement, right? There is no more for you to learn. There is no more for you to see. There is no more for. No more areas for you to grow in. You have now disqualified yourself from being a leader of leaders. A leader of leaders is someone who still has the sense of wonder. When leaders lose their sense of awe, right? Their ability to still win and be excited by it, to be taught a new lesson, to advance in a personal way, they lose their edge. Wonder keeps our hearts soft. It keeps our. Our minds moldable, right? And wonder also keeps your faith alive. When you believe, you know everything, you believe you figured everything out. You almost lose that sense of faith, right? That faith that something greater is still going to happen or come. A wonder says, I'm still discovering. I'm not just directing as I guide the people around me. I'm discovering I'm on a journey of discovery, right? Like we're discovering together versus just directing. A leader of followers just directs. They say, go A to B, let's do. Let's go from here to here. Move this thing from this place to this place, right? That's what a leader of followers does. A leader of leaders says, together we're going to Discover our greatest path, and we still have more to learn, right? And so I love people, and I love having people around me that still have a sense of wonderful. Have you ever think about this? Have you ever tried to take somebody to an area that you love and they already. You feel like they've already seen it, done it, and they've already done everything and they're already telling you the greatest spots ever. Try to take somebody on a vacation or try to take somebody to a city that you love. I've spent so much time in Washington, D.C. on legislative things, and so I. I know the restaurants, I know the streets. I know the areas and the back alleys, and I've been into all the different buildings and the underground tunnels. And it's just like, I love Washington, D.C. and. And, you know, when I go with somebody who's never walked the monuments at nighttime or never had the chance to walk underneath the tunnels from the Senate buildings to the Capitol, or they've never done the things that I've been so privileged to do, it's a blast to take them. And you watch them like, oh, my goodness. Wow. This is beautiful. This is amazing, right? And there's something about a sense of wonderful that pulls you together. It's like it knits you together. If you know everything and you can't be taught everything, it actually provides a roadblock and dissonance, right? Like, it actually pushes people away. So that sense of wonder draws you together. So that's. Number one, a leader of leaders still has a sense of wonder. Number two, it's that piece of humility, the ego that got you there. The ego that got you to the top of the hill. The ego that allowed you to climb. Climb Mount Everest because you believed in yourself enough will prevent you from taking others to the top with you. I want you to think about this. There are. Let's think of this in the context of Mount Everest, okay? What group of people are always present as you climb the hill? They're Sherpas, right? What great Sherpa have you read a book about on how they've climbed Mount Everest or how they did it with. Without oxygen or whatever? Like, you don't read the books of the Sherpas, but how many times does a Sherpa climb that hill? A Sherpa says, I can get to the top of the hill, but it's not about me. It's about helping others get there. Think about how crazy that is. Think about how people work their entire life. They aspire to go do it. They train and then they climb and then they write a book and say, this is how I conquered Mount Everest. Right? Well, the Sherpa that actually has climbed that mountain 10 times before that person ever went was the person who made it possible. And that's what living without ego does. It's about being there and being confident enough that you don't have to tell the world that you did it. Right? And so when you don't have to tell the world you did it, you don't have to take all of the accolades and you don't have to be the guy, be the girl, right? Like then, now you can help others do it. That's a leader of leaders. A leader of leaders removes the ego that got them to the top to allow them to take others with them. This is really, really important because this is in you as you grow. What I found is there was ego in my life as a young man that actually got me to success. And that ego is necessary. And I get this all the time. I talk about ego a lot. I love the Ryan Holiday book. I've promoted it a lot on various things. And I'll get people that reach out to me. And maybe I'll dissect these sometimes, but I'll get people to say, but my ego is necessary to get me to where I am. And the answer is yes, but where do you want to stay? Do you always want to stay in that position? Your ego is necessary for you to actually take a step and to actually bet on yourself and to believe in yourself. All that ego is necessary, but it's not necessary for the greatest step of leadership, which is helping others get there. Everything I want is on the other side of ego. On the other side of ego. I didn't say absent of ego. I said the other side of ego. Ego got me someplace. But ego is only going to take you so far. So humility is the ability to act as if you are. You're capable while taking others there without the accolades. Ego helps you start. Ego is an early, necessary piece. Ego. It helps you prove, push, stand out. But mature leaders have to strip what no longer aligns with them, because oftentimes, proving, pushing, and standing out resist all the other leaders that want to go with you. Humility is not thinking of less of yourself. It's knowing which parts of you are built in fear and not in true identity. This is super important. So much of your ego is based in fear. It's about bravado. It's about push. It's about avoiding what you're afraid of right and true humility is identifying which one of these pieces is truly my identity and stripping the way the rest. How do I know if I'm acting in humility? When's the last time you said, I'm sorry and I was wrong? When's the last time you apologize for a misstep? When's the last time you made a hire and you said, you know what, maybe that wasn't the best decision? When's the last time you took a step or you made an investment or you took the team and you said, you know what? That probably could have been done better. If those words never come out of your mouth, you're going to lead followers and never lead leaders. You have to release control without losing clarity. You have to release control without losing clarity to bring leaders up and to have and lead leaders. To be a leader of leaders. You, you cannot control everything to the degree you control everything. That's not humility, right? Like that's again, ego. Everything rises and falls on my shoulders. To the degree that you hold clarity in where you're going and release control to others to allow their strengths to get you there is true humility. That's being a leader of leaders. So, number one, a sense of wonder. Number two, humility. And the last piece, the last trait is really important, and that's an openness to be wrong. An openness to be wrong. You can't solve problems if you're the smartest person in the room. I think that every leader of leaders should come to every situation with this thought in their mind. What if I'm wrong about this? And that's okay. What I know is this, in order to be a leader of a large company, you know, so I've built these very, very large organizations, is that it's not about making right decisions every time. It's about making decisive decisions and being right 80% of the time. And then when 20% identifies itself as a wrong decision, it's about the efficiency of now adjusting and being open and being willing to talk about the mistakes that were made. The optimization of that 20% is truly the success of your large organization. What happens is, when I come to any situation with a willingness to be wrong, that doesn't mean that I am wrong. With a willingness to be wrong, it creates the space for wisdom, for feedback, and for growth. When you come to every situation and you are right and you have to be right and you're proving that you're right, there is no feedback, there is no growth, there's only stagnation to be a leader of leaders, you have to have space for them to be able to comment, to be able to give you feedback, and for you to be able to grow. Your greatest growth will come through correction, not confirmation. Your greatest growth will come through correction, not confirmation. Have you ever been to the gym and you walked into the gym for the very first time and you started grabbing weights and you started throwing them around and if everybody just walked up to you and said, good job, buddy, you know, keep it up, right? What you're going to do is you're going to form bad habits. But your greatest growth is somebody saying, hey, let me show you the right form. Let me show you how to do this properly. Let me show you the way to do this. It's that correction that provides growth. And when you come to a situation believing that you have the ability and probability of being wrong, at least a percentage of the time, it allows for correction and correction leads to growth. Here's a couple of practices. Those three traits to me are the three traits that situation set leaders of leaders apart. Let me give you a couple of practices that cultivate these traits. Number one, you've got to keep wonder alive. The way that you keep wonder alive is, in my opinion, daily silence and questions, right? Like when I sit in meditation in the morning and I contemplate the blessings, the things that I have, the gratitude for what I've had, the lessons that I've learned and. And the questioning of the things that I don't understand. Allowing myself to wonder in the questions, right? In the questioning, be okay with not knowing and wonder, right? How do I grow? How do I get past this point? What is it going to be like when I'm here, right? And I think that in my own personal life, it's constant exploration, right? Like it's wondering and thinking and discovering and studying, right? Keep wonder alive. Number two, stay humble. Humble. The easiest way to stay humble is to ask for feedback. Find someone to correct you. When you are a leader, very few people are going to naturally correct you. So what you have to do is in humility, ask for correction. Hey, how could I have done this better? How could I have. How could I have spoken to you better? How could I have been more effective? When you're, when you're doing something that seems so natural to you that you believe you've actually accomplished it, those are the moments that you should ask for correction. So much of my life is, and I'm not always the greatest example of this is. So much of my life is built on systematic growth, right? So like I've done this thing a hundred times. I'm just doing it again. So the easiest thing for me to do is just to sink and anchor into. Well, I've always done it. It's always provided success. Therefore I know what I'm doing. Those are the moments that I have to ask. You know, one thing that I wrote down in a. I was teaching an Empire workshop just the other day, I was teaching an Empire workshop and I was teaching it for probably the, I don't know, thousandth time, teaching businesses how to grow, scale, potentially exit. And I was teaching the content and I wrote a note down as I was teaching. Have you ever do that? Like where your, your brain is somewhere else? Like my mouth was teaching Empire because I'd done it. I've done it a thousand times. But my mind was in this lesson I wanted to teach you. And I was thinking through our executives and I was thinking through my own life. And I wrote down on the question or I wrote down on my notes next to my paper, as I was teaching Empire, I wrote ask for feedback. The reason I did that was because in my mind, I thought, I'm probably complacent in this area. I've taught it a thousand times. I believe that it's going to provide success. And what happens in that is it builds this ego inside of me that believes that I can't be wrong or can't be corrected. I walked out of the studio, asked the two or three people in the room, I said, hey, how could I have done that better? Was there some way that that could have been taught better? Is there? And all I was doing now, everything inside of me could have said, I've taught this a thousand times. I've helped 3,000 plus companies and growing their business and scaling. It would be easy for my ego to take place and for me to put a ceiling on my life in that area. And. And I recognized in the moment, I was like, I've got to get rid of that. I got to resist it. I walked out and I got amazing feedback. I got amazing feedback in an area that I haven't had feedback in, in probably three years, right? Because it's just something I do. And it felt so good to get feedback and even correction, you know, because so few of us at a highest, at the highest level ever get correction. And correction is where growth comes. Correction is where growth comes. And lastly, be open. Start solving the problems with what if I'm missing something versus I believe I have all the answers. Come to every problem, come to every situation with, what am I missing? And rely on those around you to fill in the gaps. Fill in the gaps. Because when we push them all away and we don't allow them to fill in the gaps, we're missing the wisdom that is already sitting in the people around us. And in the end, that prevents us from growth. Try leading this next week. Here's your challenge. Try leading this next week without proving anything. Okay, now I say this very intentionally. Try to lead this week without proving anything. Lead, speak, direct, make choices, but don't prove. Don't prove. Allow others to give you feedback without squashing their feedback. And in proof, it's, it's one of the hardest things to do. I want you to think about this in practice. I, I had a, a young guy challenge me a week or two ago on a financial number. The first thing I wanted to do is give the 62 reasons why I was right, why my number is right, while I've done this a thousand times. And, and it's, that's inside of all of us as we lead. And to me, that is one of those things that you've got to repress. What's that going to do? If I say to that young guy, let me tell you the 62 reasons why you're wrong. Let me tell you why I've done this a thousand times in my life. If that, even the ethos of that, even if I didn't choose those specific words, if just the feeling I gave him was push back in that level, he's never going to respond that way again. He's never going to challenge. Can he be right? Maybe. Is he probably wrong in that situation? Probably. But it's not whether he's right or he's wrong. It's that we want to cultivate that response. As he grows, as he develops, that response is going to be more in tune and he's going to find, he's going to find times where he's right and I'm wrong today as I'm in a situation where maybe I've done it a thousand times and he's done it 10. Most likely I'm going to be more frequently right. But I don't want to challenge that in him. I want to cultivate that in him. So try leading this week. And I want you to take a note, write it somewhere, put it on a sticky note. Try to lead one full week without proving anything. Just listen, ask and act with wonder. Just listen, ask and act with wonder. Thanks so much for being a part of the podcast today. Hopefully it was helpful share this with somebody that you know is going to make a difference in their life. Thanks so much for being a part of the podcast and for listening today. Love to connect with you further. And you can connect with me on social media at Eddie WilsonOfficial on any of the social media channels.