← Impact Podcast, Mentorship with Eddie Wilson
Impact Podcast, Mentorship with Eddie Wilson
66 - The Missing Key to Success | Why Mentorship Changes Everything
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Welcome to the Impact Podcast. I'm Eddie Wilson, here to help you visualize what others cannot see, create opportunities where others have failed, and push you to build empires where once there was empty space. Let's embark on this journey together and make a difference in this world. Welcome to the Impact Podcast. Betty Wilson. Thanks so much for joining us today. This past weekend, my oldest son got married. So it has been a check on my. On this, like, idea of who I am and the age that I am. It's pretty surreal to have a son who is getting married. I don't feel old enough for sure, but I began to think a lot about just kind of that entire journey and what it takes. And I began to think about what the Impact Podcast is all about. And the Impact Podcast is very much about mentorship. And mentorship for those of you that maybe don't have access to someone who operates at the level that we operate our businesses or have not had the success that maybe I've personally had. And so you're looking ahead to someone who has the success that you want, and you began to reach forward. And so that's what this podcast is all about. I was thinking about, you know, how many things I did not know, getting married early on in life, and I was thinking about how important it is to have someone that's ahead of you, as I was thinking through my son and. And his new life that he's building with his bride. Pretty exciting, pretty surreal. But it got me on the topic of mentorship, and so I want to bridge that topic today with you because I know many of you are here because this is what you're looking for. The podcast started out of my social media where people saying, would you consider mentoring me? Would you spend time with me? Would you take a phone call? Would you spend, you know, a half hour on a zoom call? And I just got to the place where I really began to push everybody towards the podcast and began to teach and train what I would teach and train someone who is a younger entrepreneur who's coming up. So I want to step back just for a second and tell you how vitally important it is to have mentorship in your life. I really do believe that it's the missing variable for success, if you have the success that you hoped for, but not what you believe you potentially could achieve. I believe the gap oftentimes is mentorship. I believe it's someone who is the step ahead of you. I remember in the early days of my own career asking people that were running $300 million companies, $500 million companies as I was starting to build mine. Would you let me see behind the scenes? Would you let me see how you interact with your people? Would you let me see how you govern your finances or whatever it was. And I was constantly on this quest of show me the step ahead by asking others, and very rarely would someone actually show me the step ahead. But I will tell you that every time I've had a major jump in my life or in my career, it's always because of proximity to another human. It's always a mastermind where I learned something about someone that gave me insight into the step I could take, or it was somebody I hired or somebody that I put into my life. And so whether it was relationships or whether it was business or whether it was finances or investing, it was always a giant leap due to proximity to another person. So we can't discount that. And what I want to say, just kind of as introduction to you, is that I believe that a fully formed version of you already exists. But oftentimes, many of us still see ourselves as a lesser or earlier version of what we, of what we truly are. You know, it was such a surreal moment watching my, my son prepare to have his, you know, bride walk down the aisle to him. And in my mind, you know, in certain parts of my mind, I'm still a 20 year old kid, I'm still a 30 year old young man. I'm still, you know, there are areas of my life where I fully step into the developed version of who I am, but there's still elements. I remember sitting there thinking on the front row, like, wow, am I even old enough to have a son, you know, who is getting married? So it was like a younger version of myself still existed in my perspective. And so the reason that we need a mentor is that the mentor truly is a mirror who oftentimes holds up a mirror or reflection of ourself that allows us to see something before we can see it ourselves. Like they see something in us before we see it ourselves. So most people ask, okay, so if this is a missing variable, a missing piece in my life, then how do I go about getting one? How do I go about getting one? Am I someone that is worth mentoring? I've been asked that question before. You know, I don't know if I'm worth mentoring or not, but would you give time to me? We have this thought process that mentorship is just access, it's earned trust or information, but that's just not true. And so I want to step into this concept of mentorship, of what you should be expecting and why you need a mentor and how to go about getting a mentor and then ultimately how to mentor someone else. But I want to go back to the timing of Alexander the Great. Alexander the Great had one of the greatest mentors that we have, the ability to go back and watch how the person went about mentoring someone. And that person was Aristotle. And Aristotle was one of the great mentors of Alexander the Great. And Alexander the Great became the young man that he truly was intended to be or his full capacity was allowing because of Aristotle. Aristotle came into Alexander's life as he began to take power, and he began to really speak to Aristotle. He began to speak to him in parables and in stories. He began to show him the mirror of himself. He began to show him truly who he was. He had honest conversations with him. And we'll step into that just a little bit later as we. As we jump in. So let me ask you this. Do you have a mentor? And I believe that mentorship is the missing variable. So I believe that oftentimes with a mentor, you have the same starting point but different outcomes. Mentorship is often the variable. And we don't really suffer from an information gap anymore. With AI and everything at our fingertips, there really is no information gap. And so mentorship is not about closing this gap of information. It's a perspective gap. We have a perspective gap, not an information gap. We can't see our own blind spots when we walk through this life. We do not have someone, oftentimes, if you're successful and that are willing to step in and say, hey, by the way, this is a gap in your life. This is a blind spot in your life. This is an area that you could develop. And a mentor sees patterns, weaknesses, and often potential that you cannot see yourself. But mentorship is not a shortcut. It's not a transaction. It's not. I don't believe mentorship should be a paid service. You know, while you can pay your mentor and there can be remuneration for mentorship, I think oftentimes it's way more natural. And Alexander didn't just. I'm sorry, Aristotle didn't just teach Alexander subjects. He began to shape how he thought about the world around him. Great mentors don't suppress your very nature. They refine it, and they direct or they redirect it if it's going the wrong direction. That's what a mentor is. So the reason I say that mentorship is the great gap or the great variable in success. If you think about it today, what blind spots are you unaware of? And no one in your life is able to speak to them, right? Who in your life is honest enough that they're speaking to the blind spots or those gaps that are preventing you from getting to the success of the person that you want to be? Not only is it not an information gap, it's a perspective gap. And if in that perspective gap, it's giving you the opportunity to address blind spots, it's also helping you address the. The. The. The created success that you are and make sure that you're maximizing it. Great mentors don't suppress your nature. They refine it or direct it or even redirect it if it's going the wrong direction. And that's what Aristotle did for Alexander. He consistently challenged the way that Alexander thought. So if mentorship is the great missing variable, then how do you actually go about finding it? Because this is the hard part, right, is finding someone who is a step ahead, who is someone that you want to emulate and somebody that's aligned with your current season of life. You know, so many times we look at a celebrity that's close to us, or we look at someone who has great success, and we say, man, I wish that person would mentor me. And I gotta tell you that the famous people that you have, you know, some connection to or the. The person who has found great success oftentimes struggle to actually mentor people. And mentorship is not an easy thing. Right? And we're gonna talk about how to mentor in just a minute. But how do you go about finding a mentor? Number one, get specific. Decide exactly who it is that you want to be. Find somebody who is aligned with your current season, who's aligned with the gap or the area that you believe you need to develop in. And in the end, proximity to wisdom. You need proximity to wisdom. Wisdom is not just knowledge. Wisdom is knowledge in action. It's someone who has and possesses knowledge and understands how to apply it. When I say that there is really no information gap anymore, it's so true. And you could get on AI today, get on chat or Claude or whatever it is, you know, pick your poison and you get on there, and you could ask it any question, and it's going to put information in front of you. That's knowledge. The problem is, is that rarely and rarely and I really mean rarely, does it actually know the best application for that knowledge. It could tell you that your stocks are not doing well. It could tell you the historical. The historical success of a stock. It could tell you the potential for earnings on a stock. It could tell you everything surrounding it. But oftentimes it lacks the ability to apply that knowledge in a way that is wisdom. Wisdom says, I know the past, I can see strongly into the future, and I understand this information, the best way to apply it to get the best result. And that's where you know this artificial intelligence is truly artificial. It is something that is lacking the practical wisdom of man's experiences. So as you get specific on a mentor, I want you to get specific on what it is you're trying to gain, what it is you're trying to solve. And who could you get into proximity with that already has solved it or attained whatever it is that you're trying to attain? To next Serve first add value before making requests. The amount of people that walk into my life, it's. It's kind of crazy that they walk in and they really don't know me. And as you guys, you know, have listened to my podcast, you understand how vitally important time is to me, how important how I put and elevate time over everything. And as you elevate time, the thing that someone comes up and asks me for the most is my time. But they don't realize that I have an entire process by which I give my time or I delegate my time. And so they come up and they ask for the thing that I'm most likely never going to give. And so they began to make requests. Now, someone who is willing to help or contribute or make use of my time, oftentimes I'll give time to without even being requested of it. Right? So someone who's willing to help maximize my time often is gets more of my time. Useful people stand out more than impressive people. Useful people stand out more than impressive people. Oftentimes you think you get looked over or passed over because you don't dress as good as someone, or you don't present as well as someone else, or you don't have the greatest ideas. And I got to be honest with you, that oftentimes those people are truly overlooked as well. You just have put them on a pedestal. But someone who is already successful isn't looking for someone who's impressive. They're looking somebody who can apply knowledge. They're looking for someone who stands out because of their productivity. Right? That is more important. Productivity is more important than the impressive brand or nature of someone. I'll always give time to someone who is productive, who seemingly can make my life more productive. So add value before Making requests. Do not walk into somebody's life and ask or demand for information or time. You're most likely going to get turned down. So get specific. Serve first. Next, learn to ask one thing, One thing. I get approached all the time. I was at a conference a couple of weeks ago and I was speaking at it, and a young lady came up and she began to just ask me question after question after question. I got tired or weary of the questioning and realized that she was just. Whatever was coming into her mind, she was just asking. And she didn't even correlate it to the earlier questions she had asked me. And what I found was, is my desire to get out of that conversation as quickly as possible. So I found an excuse and I moved on. There was another young man who came up who said this. He said, I've been watching you on Social. I've watched your career. I have one question. It was. There was something striking about the way that that happened, that immediately it pulled me in and I thought, he has it boiled down to one question that he desires to ask. And in this one question, it's going to answer so much of what he's expecting that he's already done the work and I don't have to do the work for him. You see. Go back to the young lady. What I wanted to do was say, hey, look, you asked me this question, you know, 10 minutes ago. It correlates to the question you just asked me. If you'd put these thoughts together, you'd solve this problem. And all of a sudden, I'm doing the work of problem solving for her, and it was just too exhausting, right? And so this young man basically came up and said, I've got all of my problems boiled down into this one question I want to ask you. And all of a sudden, it engaged me and I desired to answer that question. I desired to give him the answer he was looking for. So always ask one thing, ask one clear question, apply the advice and report back with the results. A mentor wants to know that you're going to make application of the wisdom that they've gave to you. So what is your one clear question today as you're sitting here listening, you've listened for. Maybe this is your first podcast or Maybe it's your 50th, right? And you need to boil down, if you had one minute with me, five minutes with me, what's one question you would ask? If you take the most successful person, you know, maybe Richard Branson sitting next to you, Elon Musk is Sitting next to you, whoever it is that you aspire to be, or you look at and you say, man, I wish I could. What is that one question and is it prepared and is it ready? What is your one question? You know, I, the, the young man, let me just give you an example of what the young man's question was. He said, you, this is how he phrased it. He said, you have built the company culture that I want. What is one mistake you had warned me about making so that I do not create a culture that's opposite of yours? Literally. Like he. And now what happened was, is it turned into a 10 minute conversation about my philosophies on culture. The way that I've gone about it, the mistakes I've made, the companies I've built that have good culture, the companies that I've built that have poor culture. Right. Like my philosophy on culture, I went into culture isn't just an aspirational goal. Culture is a systematic way of behaving. And so culture, culture is about what actually happens in the workplace. And I began to dive into him and really started sewing into this young man, this ideal, the ideals of culture and building companies. And he got everything he was looking for because he asked one precise question. What's your question? What is the question that you would ask? Begin preparing that question. Number four. In finding a mentor, you need to let it develop naturally. Okay? Let it develop naturally. The best mentorships are rarely started with like, okay, now you pay me, now we start, we've got 30 minutes a week, right? Like, that is not the best. Now it can work. And I'm not knocking mentors, but what I'm saying is, is that oftentimes the best mentorship look back over your lifetime. It was a coach that you were already playing for that you had proximity to that taught you the meaning of life. You know, it was a pastor, it was a, a father, a mother, it was a brother, a sister, an aunt, an uncle. It was a teacher, it was a, it was, it was somebody the proximity with that taught you so much in your life. We just need to be intentional about it. Okay? The best mentors rarely have these, like, official beginnings. And trust grows through consistency over time. Oftentimes a mentor will only share as much information as they believe you're going to act on. And oftentimes you will only ask a mentor based on what you believe that they're actually capable of. So the mentorship begins to grow and foster over time through consistency. Now, by the way, you should have multiple mentors. You shouldn't just have one mentor that because not one person is good at all things. You should have a mentor in your faith, a mentor in your business, a mentor in your leadership, a mentor in your marriage or relationships in life. Right? Multiple mentors, people that, that, that you know, that's so into you that, that give to you freely because you're going to act on it. Now, one thing that I love about, let's go back to Alexander the Great. He had Aristotle, and one of the things that he carried with him on every one of his campaigns was he had one of Aristotle's annotated Iliads and he began to carry it with him so that he began to think thoughts. He would go back to how Aristotle taught him to think by capturing like his own notes, his own thoughts, and also Aristotle's thoughts. And this mentorship shaped how this warrior thought and he began to carry it with him. It wasn't just a conversation that happened in the palace of Alexander. It was conversations, it was writings, it was thoughts. It was a collection of information that Alexander carried with him for life. Number three. I want to go into how to be a mentor. So I talked about how mentoring a mentor is this big gap. It's this big variable. How to find a mentor. And let me just reiterate that, get specific. What are you looking for? Serve first, give, give first. Don't just ask first. Ask for one clear thing and let it develop naturally. Right? Like that is how to find a mentor. Next, how to be a mentor. If you are going to ask for mentorship, you also should consider giving mentorship because the teacher is always the greatest learner. As you begin to advance, not only should you be reaching forward, but I often say you should be reaching behind you. You should have somebody in tow that you are teaching along the way. The greatest gift of learning is always teaching. So ask before you advise. Don't just lecture people. As you begin to sow into people, you know, it should be organic and you should say, could I help you? Would you mind if I give you some advice and ask before you advise? Don't just lecture people on, you know, I have some people in my life that feel like I need information without me ever asking for it. Well, unsolicited advice, right? Oftentimes advice that's never adhered to. Just because somebody steps into my life and gives me advice doesn't mean I'm going to listen to it. And it doesn't mean that it's going to take root. And most oftentimes when it's not when it's not asked for, solicited, it'll never take root. And so unsolicited advice is usually a pointless endeavor. So don't lecture. Help people see themselves clearly. When you're giving advice, make sure you're just holding up the mirror so they can see themselves. What I talked to you about earlier was a good mentor just holds up a mirror and shows you that fully developed version of yourself. They don't tell you your they don't start with all the negative gaps. They begin to show you through a mirror. So don't just lecture. Ask before you advise. Next, tell hard truths. Great mentors say what others are avoiding saying. And truth delivered clearly is always a gift. Now, there should be a preface to this. I oftentimes say this that when you're about to deliver a hard truth, oftentimes a preface or a restating so that their kind of cerebral clarity comes into play. When you're about to deliver, it is so important that you should ask something like, would, could I have permission to be honest with you? Would it be okay if I tell you a hard truth? My perspective of this is going to be something that may be hard. Would it be okay if I shared it with you? Right. Like all of those things preface the human mind to get ready to receive the hard truth. And it's really important that we do that. So tell the hard truth. Next, share failures. Just because you've succeeded and just because they're looking at you towards your success doesn't mean that you shouldn't share your failures. Oftentimes the greatest lessons come through failures, not successes. So be willing to share your failures. I read a book one time that kind of is stuck with me, and he was talking about mentoring or helping the next generation. And he said, oftentimes the next generation is looking at you as this statue of success. And he said, and what they see is the stone or the sculpture of the success that you had in the past. And he said, but don't be afraid to tell them about your feet of clay. And what he was saying is, is that it's okay to show them that there are areas where you are soft, your areas of where you struggle, areas where you aren't the stone monument, areas where things are difficult. And I think that, you know, oftentimes you hear me do that on this, even on this podcast, I'll talk to you about one of the areas that I feel like I've struggled with in my own life is relationships. And I'll oftentimes allude to that, somebody will ask for relationship advice, and I'll say, hey, I think this is an area that I can point you to somebody who's great, but not. I'm still developing this area. This is an area that I still feel like I struggle in and that I'm developing in myself. And so share those failures. People need the director's cut, not the highlight reel. I wrote. I was writing that down. It's like, people don't need. If you're a mentor, they don't need the Instagram version of your life, right? Like, they don't need the director's cut. They don't need the perfectly crafted, you know, with. With the cinematic overlays and the music and all of that. What they need is. Is what happened before the director's cut, right? Like, you know, they need the director's cut. They don't need the highlight reel. They don't. They don't need, like, this perfectly crafted. They need to see what happened along the way before it got perfect, right? And then ultimately, transparency creates trust. And so while you don't always have to show them the feet of clay, you don't have to show them the lack of success you've had in areas you can at least speak to it. Like, speak to them broadly about not just successes, but also your failures. Next, don't create clones. Your job as a mentor is not to create another version of yourself, because there will never be another version of. Of you. Your job is to develop people, not to replicate yourself. In the end, your job is to hold up a mirror, to help them see the gaps, tell them the hard truths, and help them develop in the greatest version of themselves, not you. And then lastly, a great mentor. To mentor people correctly, we should not hold on to them past our own abilities. A mentee no longer needing you is success, not failure. Allow them to grow out of you and past you. One thing that I want to note is that Aristotle never marched with Alexander. He stayed at home. He did his job. When Alexander would come back, spend time with him, he would show him the gaps. He would show him the areas where he could improve, but he remained present in how he thought. So he didn't go on the marches with Alexander. He didn't go on the big conquest with Alexander, but he remained present in how he thought. And so, you know, that presence that Alexander carried with him when he was carrying the writings and his notes became very present. And so, as a mentor to the mentee, allow them to outgrow, grow you. They will carry the Lessons in life with them. And then that last piece, which I want to end with, which is the cycle that changes everything. The best leaders are always being mentored, but they're also mentoring others. Lessons deepen when you not just live them, but you teach them. The law of the learner always states that the person who's learning the most is the person who is teaching. If you're not only receiving and you're also finding someone else to pour into, you will also be the greatest learner. If you thought, if you think you're. You no longer need a mentor, I will guarantee you that you do have a blind spot. I've had quite a bit of success in my life when it comes to business, but I still have massive blind spots in my life. Not just in relationships, not just in wealth or investing, but also in business. There can never be a day where I've fully achieved the pinnacle of success in any area of my life. This life is a journey, and it's a journey of perspective. The greatest leaders never stop being teachable. If you want to disqualify yourself as a mentee and mentor, stop being teachable. One thing that Alexander said was. He said, my father gave me life, but Aristotle taught me how to live it. My father gave me life, but Aristotle taught me how to live it. The mentor didn't build the empire directly. He shaped the mind that built the empire. We need to, as mentors, find success in the success of others. And in closing, mentorship is earned on both sides. We don't just walk into a relationship and say, be my mentor. No, we give first. We find ways to provide value to that person, and then in proximity, we begin to learn. And then we don't just teach people from a perspective of telling them our successes. We mentor them by looking at their potential and helping them get there. Mentorship is earned on both sides. Find someone ahead of you. Don't just pick someone who you're enamored with. Find someone who you want to become, serve them, be coachable, and then turn around and help someone behind you. Wisdom is meant to move through people, not stop with them. You should be a conduit of wisdom, of the things that you've learned, the things you've enacted, the experiences of life, and you should pass that on. And legacy is often not what you build, but who you help become when they. When they become who they were meant to be. You know, oftentimes I, in recent days have been rejecting this idea that I'm the king of exits, because what I want to be in this life is not known for the businesses I built, but the people that I built. Legacy is often not what you build, but who you help become who they were meant to be. And that is what mentorship is. I really encourage you that if you are not seeking mentorship, to seek it. If you're not giving mentorship, give it. Because in the end, that is how you will develop the correct perspective and the correct path for your success. Thanks so much for being a part of the podcast and for listening today. Love to connect with you further. And you can connect with me on social media at Eddie Wilson official on any of the social media channels.