EP 59: Best Of In Totality: Season 1

Summary

Podcast Summary: EP 59: Best Of In Totality: Season 1

Podcast Information:

• Title: In Totality with Megan Ashley
• Host: Megan Ashley
• Episode: EP 59: Best Of In Totality: Season 1
• Release Date: December 17, 2024
• Description: "In Totality" guides Christians to live wholly devoted lives to God through honest discussions on faith, prayer, obedience, and purpose. This episode compiles the most impactful moments from Season 1, featuring profound conversations with guests on various spiritual and personal topics.

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1. The Reality of Mean Girls in Adulthood and Friendships

Timeframe: 00:00 – 05:22

The episode opens with a candid discussion among Megan Ashley, Brenda, and Trinity addressing the persistence of toxic relationships beyond school years. They explore how adolescent bullying morphs into adult friendships fraught with unrealistic expectations and resentment.

• Key Points:

  • Mean Girls Phenomenon: Trinity reflects on the unexpected continuation of mean-spirited behavior into adulthood, emphasizing the difficulty in maintaining joyful relationships.
  • Personal Accountability: Both Megan and Trinity acknowledge their past mistakes in sharing personal struggles excessively with friends instead of leaning more on their relationship with God.
  • Healthy Community: Brenda underscores the importance of having accountability partners within a faith-based community to navigate challenges without placing undue expectations on friends.

• Notable Quote:

  • Brenda [04:18]: “We find ourselves in friendships, holding people to a certain standard that they shouldn't be held to and then blaming them when they can't fulfill something like.”

2. Understanding Offense and Its Impact on Christian Relationships

Timeframe: 09:26 – 23:00

Jordan joins the conversation to delve into the biblical perspective on offense, betrayal, and lawlessness as foretold in Matthew 24:10-12. The discussion highlights how personal offenses can lead to deeper relational rifts and a departure from Christian values.

• Key Points:

  • Biblical Insights: Jordan references Matthew 24 to illustrate how offense can escalate to betrayal and hatred, undermining community and spiritual integrity.
  • Self-Focused Living: The conversation emphasizes the danger of prioritizing personal happiness over obedience to God, leading to a fragile and self-centered faith.
  • Call for Authentic Faith: The speakers advocate for a faith that seeks God’s standards over societal expectations, fostering genuine and resilient relationships.

• Notable Quote:

  • Jordan [09:49]: “If my pastor does that much, my pastor's offended me by that much. So we set up ourselves for an offense by our expectations.”

3. Personal Testimonies: Feeling God’s Pursuit

Timeframe: 14:27 – 23:00

Megan shares her transformative experience of feeling God's pursuit during her youth, leading to a deeper commitment to faith. This segment underscores the notion that God actively seeks to redeem and guide believers through personal struggles.

• Key Points:

  • Divine Pursuit: Megan recounts feeling God's presence during a tumultuous period in her life, recognizing it as God's mercy and pursuit.
  • Evangelism Encouragement: She encourages listeners to view evangelism as seed planting, trusting that God will nurture believers’ growth over time.
  • Personal Growth: The testimony highlights the importance of relying on God’s word over human approval, fostering a strong personal faith foundation.

• Notable Quote:

  • Megan Ashley [15:53]: “God was softening my little hard heart for years. And I think that was what pursuit is. I think, you know, God woos us over a course of years to the point where he has us.”

4. Navigating Mental Health and Anxiety Through Faith

Timeframe: 23:00 – 50:21

Brenda and Trinity openly discuss their struggles with mental health, including anxiety and bipolar depression, and how their faith has been instrumental in managing these challenges. They emphasize the necessity of aligning thoughts with God’s word to overcome mental burdens.

• Key Points:

  • Mental Health Struggles: Trinity shares her experiences with anxiety and panic attacks, highlighting how negative news consumption exacerbated her condition.
  • Faith-Based Coping Mechanisms: Both guests stress the importance of taking thoughts captive and grounding oneself in Scripture to combat anxiety and depression.
  • Community Support: Brenda underscores the role of a supportive faith community in providing accountability and spiritual guidance during mental health crises.

• Notable Quotes:

  • Brenda [21:28]: “We have to think about these thoughts that we're thinking, and you have to be able to pull those thoughts down that don't align with the word of God.”
  • Trinity [50:21]: “This is what's happening in Atlanta, this is what's happening in our country. And I'm just so thankful that the Lord has brought me out of all of that and brought you out of all of that.”

5. The Church in Atlanta: Perversion Behind the Veneer of Religion

Timeframe: 29:36 – 50:21

Evan and Trinity provide a critical examination of the religious landscape in Atlanta, describing it as a hub of superficial religiosity and moral perversion. They warn against the pervasive prosperity gospel that distorts true Christian teachings.

• Key Points:

  • Hyper-Religious Environment: Evan recounts a prophetic experience that led him to recognize Atlanta as a city steeped in both religion and moral corruption.
  • Prosperity Gospel Critique: The discussion highlights how the prosperity gospel shifts focus from Christ to personal success, leading to spiritual emptiness.
  • Call for Authentic Worship: They urge Christians to seek genuine, orthodox biblical Christianity that emphasizes service, sacrifice, and alignment with God's mission.

• Notable Quote:

  • Evan [45:56]: “The enemy will make you think that God's no is where your greatest yes is.”

6. Balancing Politics and Christianity

Timeframe: 50:21 – 71:36

The conversation shifts to the intersection of politics and faith. Lisa and Trinity explore how Christians can navigate political involvement without compromising their spiritual values, emphasizing love for God and neighbor as guiding principles.

• Key Points:

  • Historical Context: Lisa reflects on the significance of political representation for Black Christians, noting the emotional impact of historical milestones.
  • Value-Based Decision Making: They discuss the importance of aligning political choices with Christian values, prioritizing the welfare of neighbors over party allegiance.
  • Prayer and Discernment: The speakers advocate for prayerful consideration of political issues, ensuring that decisions uphold biblical truths and social justice.

• Notable Quote:

  • Lisa [68:03]: “If we love our neighbor as ourselves, we have to be socially concerned about what's happening to them. Now, politics isn't the only way to help somebody, but it's a very robust way to help somebody out.”

7. Personal Life and Public Struggles: Navigating Divorce and Forgiveness

Timeframe: 71:36 – 83:08

Brenda and Trinity delve into the personal challenges of public divorce and the journey toward forgiveness and healing. They discuss the deep emotional impacts of rejection and the importance of finding identity and hope in Christ despite broken relationships.

• Key Points:

  • Public Divorce Struggles: Brenda shares her painful experience of a public divorce, emphasizing the complexities of dealing with rejection and protecting her children.
  • Forgiveness and Redemption: The discussion highlights the necessity of forgiving others as God forgives, and the struggle to maintain faith amid personal turmoil.
  • Identity in Christ: Both guests stress that true identity and healing come from understanding who they are in Christ, dispelling the shame associated with rejection.

• Notable Quotes:

  • Brenda [75:10]: “At the root of so much rejection is shame. People tend to... guilt is the idea that I made a mistake. Shame is the idea that I am a mistake.”
  • Trinity [78:19]: “I want to talk through all the things. How's it going? You okay? Are you fine? You’re serving hope to people in a hopeless situation, and it's pulling on a part of me that needs God because I don't have it.”

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Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Timeframe: 83:08 – End

Megan Ashley wraps up the episode by expressing gratitude for the support received throughout Season 1. She encourages listeners to reflect on their spiritual journeys and remain committed to their faith despite challenges. Megan announces a forthcoming break to rest and rejuvenate before continuing with future episodes.

• Key Points:

  • Gratitude and Reflection: Megan thanks guests and listeners for their participation and support, highlighting the transformative nature of the conversations.
  • Commitment to Faith: She emphasizes the importance of unwavering faith and dependence on God, even in uncertain times.
  • Community and Support: Megan underscores the value of a supportive faith community in sustaining personal and collective spiritual growth.

• Journal Prompt:

  • Megan Ashley: “What has God done in your life in the last year? What has he shown you? What has he changed? What have you learned about him?”

• Notable Quote:

  • Megan Ashley [83:08]: “I'm just really grateful that the Lord has kept you. Do you feel like rejection lands differently when it's professional or personal?”

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Final Thoughts: EP 59 of "In Totality with Megan Ashley" offers a comprehensive reflection on the most impactful moments of Season 1. Through honest dialogue on enduring friendships, mental health, authentic faith, and personal struggles, Megan and her guests provide invaluable insights for Christians seeking to live whole lives dedicated to God. The episode not only highlights individual experiences but also addresses broader societal issues, encouraging listeners to navigate their faith journeys with integrity and resilience.

Transcript

[Megan Ashley]

Lights are going up.

[Trinity]

Snow is falling down. There's a feeling of goodwill around town.

[Brenda]

It could only mean one thing.

[Megan Ashley]

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[Evan]

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[Megan Ashley]

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[Trinity]

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[Megan Ashley]

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[Trinity]

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[Megan Ashley]

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[Trinity]

Hey, you guys. Welcome to In Totality, a place where we celebrate authenticity and openness. We're here for those who are willing to explore, those who embrace imperfections, and for those with open hearts and minds. I'm excited to embark on this journey with you. And while I can't predict every twist and turn, I'm certain that God will be by our side with every step of obedience. Welcome to In Totality with me, your host, Megan Ashley. Hey, guys. I know we are on a seasonal break. We're getting ready to start our seasonal break, but I wanted to let you know that this episode is the best of In Totality this year. We've had some phenomenal guests. We've had some phenomenal conversations that have been impactful, that have been encouraging. And so we're. This episode is going to give you all the best of In Totality of this year. I hope you guys enjoy it and we will see you in the new year. When you said the Mean Girl Manual, you were like, I can't believe this. Like, I thought this was elementary, middle school, high school. Like, I didn't believe that mean girls really existed in our adulthood. And they absolutely do.

[Brenda]

Yes. Real bad. Lutely real bad. Shout out to you in Miami.

[Trinity]

Like, and it's crazy. I don't think I really experienced it as much as I did. I'm like, oh, this is really a thing. But I feel like when we're in high school and in middle school, like, we don't have these heavy things, right? So it's like, if you're not bringing joy to my life, if this isn't easy, then yeah, then you like in the relationship when you're in high school and middle school. But as grown people, I don't know if people are Willing to, like, weather seasons.

[Brenda]

Yes.

[Trinity]

You know, like, for me. And I. And I take full accountability. I've said this before. Like, I wish I did not. I wish I didn't bleed on my friends as much as I did when I was going through the darkest times of my life. I wish I didn't. I wish there were. I wish I kept some things to myself. I wish I would have leaned into intimacy with the Lord more than intimacy with my friends.

[Brenda]

Oh, that's good.

[Trinity]

Especially when I was hurting.

[Brenda]

That's so beautiful. You confirming something that I was. So funny. I told Brady this morning, I said, it's so weird that I'm thinking about this. Maybe I'm. This is supposed to happen in the interview. I'm, like, freaked out right now. So I'm not a preacher like you or Brenda, but don't say me. And I was reading in Second Kings and having a conversation with my God brother Terence. And this is so funny. I was talking about how often. And they start coming to me yesterday morning, right. And I had no reason to be thinking about this. I knew the Holy Spirit was, you know, talking to me. And so then my initial thought. My initial thought was, we have to stop placing the response like God's responsibility on people. Right. And it's not just that people don't have the capacity. People don't have the ability.

[Trinity]

Right. So, I mean, I was saying, Brenda, the whole episode now I'm saying, so.

[Brenda]

And that's.

[Trinity]

So.

[Brenda]

To be honest with you, Meg, when that came to me, oh, man, it came to me. I start thinking about how often we do that and how often we're frustrated, perplexed, really distraught, disappointed with life because. Because Trinity is such a joyful person. Like, you know, when Trinity's around me, I feel happy. So now Trinity's responsible for my happiness. Yeah. Because I feel peace when I. When I'm with me, right. It's chill. Like, I don't feel so much anxiety now. Meg's responsible for my peace. Right? And so we find ourselves in friendships, holding people to a certain standard that they shouldn't be held to and then blaming them when they can't fulfill something like. So what I'm saying is people can't feel your voids. And I think this makes us such bad friends. I think a lot of us. And please hear my heart to my friends watching, because I don't want to offend anybody, but when I say this, I think a lot of us are bad friends in the sense that we want people to be good in a way, they aren't able to be right. We're all human.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Brenda]

And that means that we all have a limit. Like, God puts super on our natural. Yeah, we're not super.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Megan Ashley]

Yeah.

[Trinity]

I love that.

[Brenda]

So, you know, people can't feel your voice. People can't be your peace. People can't be your joy. People can't, you know, do that for you. And when I just thought about some. Even though some of the friendship breakups that I've had, where I feel like, because I'm saved, because I'm kind of, like, strong in the sense where I think. I think too, as friends, sometimes we forget that people are strong because his strength is made perfect where we are weak. I'm not really that strong. I'm really like, sis, settle down.

[Trinity]

I am really actually not that strong. But can I. Can I tell you what I realized, though? I made it. I made being a good friend and idol for some of you that being in a position like this is not easy. Right. It's just not. It's not easy to be in this position to. To be on the Internet, to be known by. By people, whether it's, you know, a hundred thousand, a couple hundred thousand, a million, you know, it's not easy. It's not easy opening up yourself to be critiqued, picked apart, talked about, lied on, accused, bullied. It's not easy. Every day I open my phone and someone has something negative to say that's not easy to deal with because I'm human. Although I don't care to be liked by everybody, I also don't like when people are, like, so openly about not liking me. That doesn't feel good, right? It doesn't. It doesn't feel good. And I'm thankful that I have learned to not put so much stake into what people think about me or say about me and to learn God's word and what he thinks about me and what he says about me and hold his word above what other people think. I'm thankful that I'm learning to discipline myself to do that. But it's not easy. It's just not all the time. It's not. And I'm thankful that this is why you have to have healthy community. This is why you have to have people in your life who know you, who can hold you accountable so when you're wrong, they can. They can, you know, they can check you, but in love and remind you of God's word and remind you of what he's called you to do and who he's called you to be. So it's, it's, it's helpful to have healthy community and it's necessary. And I'm weary for people who don't, who are just so easily on the Internet, given words, given rebukes, given all these things. God came to them in dreams and visions and all this stuff, and they don't have any, any type of accountability in their lives. They're not submitted to any type of authority. I'm wary of people like that. And I'm thankful that I have, you know, sound people in my life that have, that are mature in the faith, that have been in the faith. Right. That will check me and be like, Megan, I don't think you should do that. I don't think you should have said that. I don't think you should do it that way. Right. So I'm thankful for that. But it's. Yeah, it's just not, it's just not easy to be in this type of position. It's just not. And there is a temptation to defend yourself. There is a temptation to list out all the things that good that you have done, to debunk all the accusations that people are accusing you of. There is a temptation to defend yourself. But my encouragement and my challenge to you guys and to even to myself, for all of us, is to be like Stephen, to know God's word and defend his word and let his word defend you.

[Jordan]

Our expectation on the world, let's say this is ground zero, is zero. We don't expect the world to be a blessing to us. Our expectations on most Christians are here. Our expectations on our spouses here, and our expectations on our pastors is usually about here. World does that much, it's been a blessing. If my pastor does that much, my pastor's offended me by that much.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

So we set up ourselves for an offense by our expectations. So reverting back 30 years ago, there was a man in my life and he was a father. He was actually closer than my own natural dad. He was a father and he had done some things over the course of a year that were devastating. And it climaxed. And I remember when it climaxed, people start coming up to me constantly going, are you okay? I said, no, I'm going on with the call of God in my life. I'm fine. Are you going to go to him? No, I'm not going to him. I'm fine. Well, I was too proud to admit that I was offended. I saw being offended as a sign of weakness. And so what happened is Jesus made this Statement in Matthew, chapter 24, verse 10, when the disciples said, what's going to be some of the things that are going to happen right before you return? And in other words, do we all believe that we're in the time period that Jesus is going to return? Absolutely. He said, we know not the day or the hour. So he's literally talking about what, where we're living right now. One of the things he said is he said, many will be offended. The Greek word for many means majority. It means most. It's literally, that's the translation. So he said, most will be offended. Oh my goodness. That tells me 51%. Now, I've preached this message all over the world. I've been to 60 nations in every single but one. There's only one in 30 years. Every single place I've shared on this. Over 50% of the people stand up. I'm talking about 10 crowds of 10,000, crowds of a thousand. Over 50% of the people stand up saying, I'm offended. Okay? I've literally seen Jesus words come true, okay? He said, many will be offended. They'll betray one another. So an offense leads to a betrayal.

[Trinity]

Why?

[Jordan]

Because you put up walls. And now a betrayal is when I seek my interest at the expense of one I have a relationship with. Now I become self focused instead of love giving focused. Right. And he said, they will even come to a place they hate one another. Now, most Christians don't really know what hate is. The word hate actually means love less. That's the definition, love less. It's a vacuum where there's no love. So hate doesn't necessarily mean anger, emotion. Absalom hated his brother, so he spoke neither good nor evil. To him, it's just void of love. Okay? He said, they're gonna, they're gonna be offended. Offense is gonna lead to betrayals and betrayal is gonna lead to hatred. And then he makes this statement. He said, because lawlessness is gonna abound. Now, lawlessness is the Greek word anomia. And that's when I revert to my own way of seeing things rather than like God shows us. I mean, Megan, I'm a dad, right? So I got four sons when they were toddlers. Christmas Day is a work day, right?

[Trinity]

Yeah, for all of us. Yes, for dads especially.

[Jordan]

Moms are cooking the meal, dads are building all the toys. So I'm your typical dad. I rip open the box, throw the pieces on the floor, throw the box in the manual over in the corner, and I build the toy, spend an hour building it And I'm finished, but there's still 10 pieces on the floor. And I flip the switch, and it doesn't work. What do I do? I go get the owner's manual, the guy that designed the toy, deconstruct it, constructed the way he said to do it, and, oh, my goodness, it works.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Okay, so somebody who is wise knows that God is the one who created me. He knows what breaks me, and he knows what makes me so. God is deeply in love with us. What God hates is what unmakes us. Offense is what unmakes me. So when I start thinking outside of truth, I've entered into lawless thinking. And so Jesus said, because lawlessness is going to abound, the love of many is going to grow cold. The Greek word for love is the Greek word agape. That is the love of God that the world doesn't have, that only Christians have.

[Trinity]

So there's one part in your book where you talk about I for. Okay, so forgive me, because I might be putting this out of order, but there was one part where you said you felt like the Lord was chasing you. What does that. What does that look like? Like, if someone felt like, how. How would they know if the Lord was chasing them? Like, what was that experience like? Because that was before you getting your life to the Lord.

[Megan Ashley]

Yeah, yeah. So what I. What I. Actually, what I said in the book was I felt like the Lord was chasing me, but I didn't know he was chasing me. Like, looking back, it was like, man, the Lord was definitely chasing me, because I tell people all the time. You know, the first time I heard the gospel, I was chasing a girl that I liked. Her father was like, I know you like my daughter, and if you want to see my daughter, you got to come to our house, church. And so I thought it was the weirdest thing for people to have church in house, in house. And so we sitting on, like, folding chairs in the living room or whatever, and I'm just going there. But I remember the first time I went there, her father got up and preached. And one of the. One of the things he said was he was like, if you. You think. If you think God being a God of love means he won't destroy everything he hates, you don't know what love is.

[Trinity]

My goodness.

[Megan Ashley]

And I remember that shook me to the core. And I tell people all the time, I didn't give my life to the Lord at that time, but I became keenly aware that I was in danger of the wrath of God. Right. And so I Used to crack jokes with my own boys. Like, man, every time we were like. Because we used to break in cars a lot, I used to be like, man, you know, we deserve death for this.

[Trinity]

Right.

[Megan Ashley]

You know what I'm saying? And I think looking back, I see that was a mercy. That was God planting a seed of faith that later took root and grew. Right. But it was the Lord chasing me. Because him revealing to you that you are an enemy is mercy.

[Trinity]

My goodness.

[Megan Ashley]

It's mercy. Right. And that's a pursuit. Right. And so God was softening my little hard heart for years. And I think that's what pursuit is. I think, you know, God woos us.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Megan Ashley]

Over a course of years to the point where he has us. And so I think that was my testimony that God, in his sovereignty, put people in my life to plant seeds. To plant seeds. To plant seeds, you know? And I think that's the reason why we shouldn't be afraid of evangelism. Because I think when we think about evangelism, one of the ways in which we can get intimidated or get discouraged is giving the gospel to somebody and thinking they. They didn't respond. Not understanding that God wants to raise up a generation of evangelists who are okay with being seed planters.

[Trinity]

Yes.

[Megan Ashley]

Because what if the pastor.

[Trinity]

Because that could be discouraging. I get it. That can be discouraging. When you're like, God loves you. Like, you're really trying to. And then they're like, you want to know?

[Megan Ashley]

You want to know a quick story? I did put this in the book. I don't know why I didn't put this in a book, but I didn't put this in a book.

[Trinity]

Part two. You're gonna do another book?

[Megan Ashley]

Yeah. The man. The man that just said heard give me the gospel when I was 16, in the house church, 2019, on the PIA tour. Really big show. We had a show in Atlanta with like, 3,000 people, whatever. And I see him and his wife in the front row, and I'm like, wow. I remember them from when I was 16. And he walked up to me and he was like, man, he was like, every time I would give you all the gospel every week in the neighborhood, I would be so discouraged that y'all don't hear me. And I told him, I said, the first time I heard you give the gospel, I became keenly aware of my sin. And I couldn't be comfortable with sin after that. And he, like, literally got emotional. Wow. And it just shows us that we don't know what God is doing underneath that. God just doesn't want people who want right now results. God wants people who are faithful.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Brenda]

That week she's like, hey, I'm going to go to church on Thursday. Because Thursdays they have guests, pastors, and they're usually like, really good speakers or whatever. If you want to come, I go. And the guest speaker is Pastor Tim Timberlake out of Jacksonville. Guess what he preached on?

[Trinity]

Anxiety. You said I needed that.

[Brenda]

It was the first time that I felt like I was able to just catch a breath. Like, I still dealt with things that, like, I was delivered from anxiety this December.

[Trinity]

Wow.

[Brenda]

So I still. I still dealt with it, but it was the first time that, like, I could catch a breath.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Brenda]

Because that day of the Oscars.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Brenda]

I literally said to myself, things will be like, this will go away if I weren't here. And just being able to breathe again.

[Trinity]

Yeah. Because anxiety feels like it's tense. Like, you're. You're kind of like. You know how like when. When you go get a massage and they're like, relax. Like, I need you to relax. But you're just like, you're tense. It's like that.

[Brenda]

You feel it. It feels almost like the world is over.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Brenda]

I mean, it feels like everything's over.

[Trinity]

The worst possible scenario, the worst possible. Playing in your head non stop, non stop. This is like the. The worst thing that you can think of happening. Like. Yeah.

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Trinity]

And it's all. And this is why, like. And I. A lot of people who have been following know that in 2019, I was diagnosed with bipolar depression. In that a lot of things that I experience is anxiety. I experience, man. Panic episodes. I experienced depressive episodes. Another thing that comes is paranoia. Paranoia can be such a. Like, you talk about debilitating, like, paranoia.

[Brenda]

That's what I was looking for.

[Trinity]

Yeah. Like, paranoia will keep me in my. Keep me. It will keep me stuck. Like, stuck in the car because I'm paranoid to go into a room or stuck in my. Like, paranoia is just a thing. But the very first time I experienced an anxiety attack where it was like. Like just one thought led to another thought led to another thought, and it just produced more and more anxiety. But I was watching. I was. I would never forget. I was in my kitchen back in Columbus, and I'm doing the dishes, and I have my phone propped up and CNN was on. This is back when I used to really be into, like, the news and politics and stuff. And the news is playing. And I think because I had been engulfing myself in that type of content and that type of information, you know, the news is not always positive, so you have to be mindful. Like, all of a sudden, I'm. I'm washing the dishes and I'm listening to what's on the news, and I can feel my heart start to speed up a little bit, and I'm like. And then all of a sudden, a thought entered my mind. A picture came to my mind of me having a heart attack and my youngest son, Jonah, coming downstairs and seeing me on the floor. And I. That thought produced, like. It just was like a story that was happening in my head. And all of a sudden I'm like, yeah, like, freaking out. All because of a thought.

[Brenda]

Yes.

[Trinity]

Right. And so when I started to get into my word and the Bible says, take every thought into captivity, when I say the Lord didn't offer that as a suggestion.

[Brenda]

That's a command.

[Trinity]

That is something you need to be, girl. Yes. When. When that. Ha. When I'm. When I'm taking inventory of my life and then I'm taking inventory of God's word, I started to think about what my mom used to say all the time. She'd be like, you need to think about what you're thinking about. And I said, and that's very true. We have to think about these thoughts that we're thinking, and you have to be able to pull those thoughts down that don't align with the word of God. Because if not, it can. It can just snowball.

[Brenda]

Yes.

[Trinity]

And people wonder why. They're anxious, depressed. Yes. You're worried. You're. You're paranoid because you're. You're not taking control over the things.

[Brenda]

You'Re thinking about, and you're not casting them onto the Lord. But the part of the problem is that a lot of people don't understand the word of God. They don't know the word of God to even know that God is telling you to do this. God is literally telling you, take my yoke all. He's literally calling you all who are wary and burdened, I will give you rest. I will give you rest.

[Trinity]

Nothing else. Not your friends, not your man, not your job, not your influence, not your platform.

[Brenda]

Me only being that can give you rest is God.

[Megan Ashley]

Our joy as believers doesn't come from making ourselves personally.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Lisa]

And that's why I say, when you get saved, you get a new operating system.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Brenda]

You know, second Second Peter, chapter one.

[Megan Ashley]

Verse two, it says, he has given.

[Lisa]

Us everything needed for life and godliness.

[Megan Ashley]

Through the true lives of him who.

[Lisa]

Called us according to his glory and excellence. So basically, God has given like there's.

[Trinity]

No new anointing falling from heaven.

[Evan]

There's nothing anointing for no.

[Megan Ashley]

When you got saved, he gave you.

[Brenda]

A new operating system, gave you everything you need. You just got to get in the app store, baby, you know what I'm saying?

[Lisa]

And download some apps.

[Trinity]

But for the most part, we got everything we need. But we the enemy, always his.

[Evan]

That was his first trick.

[Trinity]

Yeah, to make you think God didn't give you something. Oh my goodness. That was his first trick. Did God say yeah, he was deconstructing their faith.

[Evan]

Deconstruction ain't new.

[Brenda]

It happened in Genesis 3.

[Trinity]

My God. My God. What did he say?

[Evan]

He said, God knows that when you.

[Trinity]

Eat, you'll be like one of us. You'll be like us who know the difference between.

[Evan]

Goody, one of the gods come join us.

[Brenda]

And God had already told them to.

[Lisa]

Rule the entire earth, right? He gave you the ruler of the entire planet. And out of all the trees, you.

[Brenda]

Had the trees in the garden you had.

[Evan]

You can plant trees all around the.

[Lisa]

World, but that one.

[Trinity]

Yeah, it's crazy. And the enemy will make you think the location of God's no is where your greatest yes is. Say that again. I think I can, Dr. Mason.

[Megan Ashley]

The enemy will make you think what.

[Brenda]

God says no is where your greatest yes is.

[Trinity]

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[Jackie]

Yeah.

[Trinity]

Like, I'm really happy. Thank you.

[Jackie]

And we were intentional because we're in election season. Season.

[Trinity]

Yes.

[Jackie]

And so we were like, we don't want it to come in October, November because we want to like read this in September so that you're. So you're prepared in November and then also, you know, December, January, as those three months things happen.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Jackie]

So it's. I would say it's two things. It's both my personal experience, but then also from like you're saying kind of like observation. So I actually have like a social work background as a social worker and in social work school, you're taught kind of this model and structure to see things from a lens of like wanting to in insert preventative measures and then insert intervention measures.

[Trinity]

Okay.

[Jackie]

Right now what I find is a lot of, in Christianity, we have a lot of intervention measures when someone, when a pastor, something moral fail, whatever. Okay. He steps down. Like that's an intervention. Right. And, and those are. And they're fine interventions. But I think God wants more prevention. Like he's. He's more focused on like, well, yeah, we can't prevent everything. We can't prevent every abuse. We can't prevent everyone from. For taking advantage of people, all this stuff. But like, we need to at least try. Yeah, like we need to at least try. And so when I think of these three different components, that is what I thought of when it comes to like preventative measures. And then also like I said compared or in related to my story. So the first one, Bible based, is that in my first, I also worked for a church and my first experience working at a church, I was communicated a lot of scripture either out of context or to manipulate me.

[Trinity]

Oo and so can you give an example? Because people don't know. Yeah, because there's a lot of people who are in abusive church, you know, churches or leadership, and they don't know, like, because it is the Word, they can go to the Word and see that it's there. But how do, how does someone know the difference between someone giving you a word to maybe even, even if it is in correction, but the difference between that and like manipulating you.

[Jackie]

Yeah, yeah. So a few examples. One was around Sabbath. So I worked for the church work as in I worked. So like Sunday was a work day and they convinced us that it was Sabbath service. And I said, oh, okay, just. And so the Bible base is that I was not in my word. I was listening to someone else Communicate the word and in the wrong way. That was one example. Another example was when my, my first, my very first meeting with the pastor of this church, he shared that I shouldn't really communicate to my husband about hard things that I go yeah. That I go through in this church because it may make him stumble in his faith. And so he referred to that scripture about stumble and like do not break your brother or sister stumble. Another I could keep going like they're like several examples.

[Trinity]

Wow.

[Jackie]

Of using scripture. And so this is 2015. So I'm about a year or two in after like coming back to Jesus. So I didn't have much basis for any, I didn't have context for any of these scriptures that he was referring to because I hadn't really like read them, stuff like that. So I was just like, yeah, for sure you're right. Agree, agree, agree. So when thinking about being sacred is to remember that like where the fact that there are so many people right now that don't have a translated Bible in their language and we do in English and we not reading it like right. Like and, and so there's a disconnect. So we have to be Bible based people. We have to be in the Word, we have to know what it says. 1 so that nonsense don't happen to you. Right? Because that's a real thing. Manipulation, spiritual abuse, all that stuff. But then also so you're living the scriptures out because if you don't know the scriptures then you don't know how to be like Jesus. All you're going to do is example from chosen shout outs to that Jesus. Love that show, love it. Actually really good. But like that's Jonathan Romney, my man. Like that's not Jesus. Like that's a script written right. Like that's not the Jesus I should follow. It's the one in the Bible. And so Bible based. It's really helping people kind of return to a place of being like Jesus but also thinking and considering things when it comes to like unity.

[Trinity]

I'm not going to ask you some goofy stuff. I want to ask you some icebreaker questions I feel like would be edifying to the people. But you what? Okay, a few things. What are, what is one thing that you feel like you are learning the most right now with God?

[Brenda]

That's literally not an icebreaker.

[Jackie]

Sorry, have you ever been to like.

[Brenda]

A group team meeting?

[Trinity]

Well that's my type of icebreaker. You know who I am.

[Brenda]

That's not a nice. That's why we all in totality say it Again. It was so deep.

[Trinity]

Go ahead.

[Jackie]

What is God teaching me?

[Brenda]

Because icebreakers are like, what's your favorite Bible verse? You know, what's your middle name? What's your favorite color? This Negro says, what is God teaching you in this season of your life?

[Jackie]

Come on now.

[Brenda]

Go ahead, say it again. That's what you said.

[Trinity]

Okay, Jackie, what's your favorite ice cream? A pecan.

[Brenda]

Butter Pecan.

[Trinity]

Butter pecan. Your favorite ice cream. Okay, that's my favorite color. What is your favorite color? Black.

[Jackie]

Black.

[Trinity]

What is. Okay. Do you believe as a parent? This is still kind of deep, but it is. Do you believe as a parent that you go through seasons where you have a favorite child? No, you don't, because I. Okay, not a favorite. But I do have seasons where I feel like one is closer to me than the others.

[Brenda]

I do have seasons where one or two of them are easy.

[Trinity]

You got a lot of kids. I do.

[Brenda]

It's a lot.

[Trinity]

That's a lot.

[Brenda]

So I might have an easier one. And I do have to guard myself.

[Jackie]

From being more attentive to them just.

[Brenda]

Because of the ease. So I wouldn't say that it's an.

[Jackie]

Affectionate kind of favoritism, but I think it could be a practical favoritism.

[Brenda]

You know where I'm. I remember that.

[Jackie]

You ever watched this is Us?

[Trinity]

I did. I only got through one. I. I cried. I couldn't take it.

[Jackie]

I can see that.

[Brenda]

It's not enough set and spray in the world to keep you.

[Trinity]

Mega.

[Jackie]

Be in church where make them dripping off, bro. It's like, my God.

[Brenda]

Anyway, there was this episode.

[Trinity]

No, because y'all, I was at church.

[Brenda]

Boo hoo.

[Trinity]

And tissues flying.

[Brenda]

Yeah.

[Trinity]

Jackie said, Jackie, text me. Oh, no. She came over after church one day and she was like, bro, I was two seconds away from being like. Because the, The. The ushers be walking around. She was like. I was so tempted to be like, just leave it here.

[Brenda]

Give her the box. Just give her the whole box.

[Trinity]

Cuz you.

[Brenda]

You grabbing too. You being modest. No, you are weeping, you're lamenting. Give her the box. Anyway. Anyway, there was an episode where the.

[Jackie]

Mother that like the, the.

[Brenda]

All the kids got the mother to.

[Jackie]

Decide and one of them was basically feeling away that he didn't get the attention that the other brother got. And she like yelled and she was like. He was just easier. And I was like, I feel that life, some kids are just easier, but at the same time, you just got to guard your heart because you end.

[Brenda]

Up abandoning one child in favor of another, which is traumatic.

[Trinity]

Do you find it because you. I have three, you have four, and I can only. Like, even though it's one more. One more is a lot more.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[Trinity]

It's not just one more. It's a whole lot more. Yeah. And do you feel that it's. I mean, I know it's challenging, but this is why I don't understand how people parent without the Lord. Because they're so different. Yes. And they need different things. And you are just one person. I mean, obviously you have your husband help and to be who he's called to be to your kids, too. But sometimes I find it as a parent that I'm just trying to figure myself out. I'm trying to hear the Lord for meet. You know what I'm saying? And now I have these kids who I need to also hear the Lord for, and they're all different.

[Brenda]

Yeah.

[Trinity]

Do you feel like that's a hard thing or how do you navigate through that? Because we know you as this amazing teacher, and you're also a mother, you know, like, you are a whole mom to four kids.

[Brenda]

I. I think for me.

[Jackie]

So the way I've looked at the strategy of mothering these different beings is.

[Brenda]

One, each of them is made in the image of God, and so there is a particular personality that the Lord has designed them to have.

[Jackie]

Right. And so it's like, how do I steward how God has made you and.

[Brenda]

What he wants you to be?

[Jackie]

Then there's different potential gifts associated with the personality type. Right. So it's like Eden, for example.

[Brenda]

My oldest Eden is very intellectual, very communicative.

[Jackie]

So she's a talker, really intelligent, but also really controlling.

[Brenda]

All of those are traits of a potential preacher and leader. So in my mind, it's your different personality requires me to show up and.

[Jackie]

Train you how to be a good.

[Brenda]

Humble leader and a very clear, thoughtful communicator.

[Trinity]

You just wrote a new book, Fight for Female. And so I saw, when I first saw the name of it, I was like, oh, wow, this is very. This is either very clever, like, she's doing this for a reason. Because I know so many people are going to see this, this, this, this title and think of the feminist movement. They're going to think like, oh, yes, Lisa Revere has gone liberal. She is all the way left, and now she's fighting for females. But, but tell us the, the, the inspiration and the. I, I really feel like it's obedience because I know the Lord gave this to you. What is the OBED title of this?

[Terence]

Yeah, well, in 2016, I had a dream. Now I think, I think that, you know, people think I'm spiritual because I have dreams. I think God's, he's like, she's not listening, so I'm just gonna have to interrupt her sleep. So I had this dream. And in this dream, Megan, I walked into this green room of beautiful women. Beautiful, all ages, all different, you know, races, all different life experiences, educator, influencers. And when I got a little closer, I saw they were all holding something close to their chest. And when I looked, they were all holding different jewel toned, or can I say rainbow colored baby dragons. And I'm like, wait. And they were dressed in children's clothing. I mean, it was the most bizarre thing. 2016, I go from woman to woman. I'm like, do you understand? You're holding a dragon? And the women were like, these are different dragons. These are the wise, kind dragons. I was like, no, no, no, no. There is no agreement between daughters and dragons. And at the end of the dream, a woman thrusts a dragon towards me. It had like an Elizabethan lace collar on. And I reach out, I grab the dragon by the neck and I break its neck. And I wake up and I'm on my back, my arms are flying. I'm like, what just happened? I type out the whole dream, I send it to somebody like, can someone help me? I've had scary dreams about dinosaurs. I've never dreamed about dragons. And the people, like, we got, we got nothing. And so I kind of at that point, I had written, had written the book without rival, and I had closed out with, you know, when we make ourselves a friend with the world, we make ourselves an enemy of God. And so I actually preached. There's a big difference between being a friend with the world and a friend to the world. Because you and I are called to be a friend to the world. But the church has decided to get in bed with the world instead of bedside. And so I thought, okay, I'm preaching. Strong people are not liking it. That's okay. I broke the dragon's neck. Then I start to see what's happening to the children. I start to see that the enemy is telling these children, oh, you're a mistake. Oh, you're a house divided. Oh, your gender identity is this, but your body is that. Oh, you, you, God made a mistake when he made you. I start to see people believe, believe that they were not fearfully and wonderfully made, but they were randomly made. Then I started to see people think, oh, I need to fix this. I need to fix. And I was like, wait a minute. Rainbow colored baby dragons, women. And then, I don't know about you, but I posted something which is so beautiful, it wasn't even Christian. It was about athletics. It was about women being displaced in athletics. And people were like, you are hateful. You are mean. And all it said was, keep your daughter's dreams alive. And it was the women, it was the women that were saying, I'm okay with being a CIS woman. Well, guess what? I'm not. I'm not. Because woman is my name given by the man. Okay? So when Adam and Eve were created, they were Ish and Isha. They were so closely related. They were two sides. Like two sides of the same coin. And I'm not a coin collector, but I do know that if you bring a coin into a coin shop and one side is in perfect condition and the other side is flawed, it devalues the entire coin. And so I'm watching what's happening in the body of Christ. I'm watching how men are being emasculated. I'm watching how women are being sexualized. I'm watching what's going on. And I'm reading Revelation, chapter 12, verse 17, where it says, and then the dragon was enraged with the woman and went to make war against church children. I'm like, whoa. He attacks the women because he's after the children. And there are people out there trying to find wholeness by making the biggest changes, irreversible changes. You and I never were told. We were like, you might. You and I might have been told, your breasts are too small. Your breasts are too big, you're too short, you're too white, you're too black. We heard that, but we never heard that. Our genesis was a mistake.

[Trinity]

It frustrates me that people can't discern for themselves the difference between what is God's truth and this very packaged, well, packaged neoprosperity teaching that we're seeing, especially here in our city.

[Evan]

Yeah, I think. I think. I think Atlanta. So I wanted to go to the northeast to pastor a church, right. So when you and I left Bible college, you know, I had this list of churches, list of cities I'm praying over. And because I'm from New York, I wanted to go to a place where the gospel is not assumed. And when I say the gospel is not assumed in the Bible Belt, everybody thinks they're Christian. So the gospel is assumed. If he was raised in a Christian church or you've come out of Christian home, everybody assumed. But in Northeast. It's not like that. Like, there's no faking, right? People know who's godly and who's not. And for the most part, people not thinking about God in the Northeast. So I'm trying to go to New York, I'm trying to go to Philly, I'm trying to go to D.C. i'm trying to go all these places. And God sends my wife and I here to Atlanta. So when we left Bible college, we leave begrudgingly. I come to Atlanta grudging, like, this is not where I want to be. I do not want to be in a place. I don't like the heat. And I don't want to be in a place like Word. I don't like the heat. Like, I like cold weather. And I don't want to be in a place where the Gospels assume. When Lena and I first got here, I'll never forget, we went to Lenox Mall our first weekend here on a Saturday.

[Trinity]

Big mistake, right? Jesus, right?

[Evan]

So, big mistake. So we go to Lennox Mall on a Saturday and we're walking through Lennox Mall and Lena and I see something we had never seen before. And if you. If you've been in Lenox more, you. You probably know where I'm going with this, right? And like, I don't care. So we're not going to play around right now, right? So there is. There is an agenda in our country that is Antichrist. You can. It hides behind the guise of love. And I could be who I want and you could. You could do what you want. But there is a judgment coming and we all gonna have to pay the price for the decisions we're making right now. So there is a. There is a demonic agenda hiding behind the guise of love that is very pervasive in our city. Let's just keep it real. I already know you're probably gonna get hate speech for this and they're gonna throw dm. But we don't care though, right? So. And so Lena and I go to Lenox Mall and we're walking through the mall and we sit down on a bench and we just cry, right? And I'll never forget, we're weeping. It's our first week in Atlanta. And as I'm sitting there, the Lord speaks to me. I hear the Lord say to me so clearly in my heart, this city is massed in religion and it is steeped in perversion. I will never forget those words. And since we've been here 2010, in the 14 years we've been here, that has Come to be exactly what the Lord told me. I've come to realize that this city in Atlanta is a hyper religious city. So there is a mask of veneer of religion. But what's behind that veneer is perversion. There is perversion in the pulpit, perversion in the pew. You know, there's perversion in the ecclesiology of what's going on in Atlanta. It is hyper perverted. I mean, you have men who are married to men and have churches in Atlanta. You have people who promote alternate agendas that are antichrist and are preaching. You have false prophets. I feel like calling some names, but I won't even go there. You have false prophets who are famous, right, in Atlanta, preaching, who speak evil of our Lord, who says things about our Lord. That is blasphemous, right? But for the sake of, for the sake of his fame and for the sake of their notoriety, we give them a pass like you. There's a difference between a mistake and iniquity, right? Yeah, we make mistakes, but iniquity is when you love your sin. And every time we pop up like you, a serial adulterer, you, you, you, you have all these. So anyway, so you have all these false prophets in our city. You have people with an ulterior motive in our city have also. Our city has a veneer of religion. But behind that veneer it is very, very perverted converted all across the city. And then Atlanta, because Atlanta is a hub for. It's a hub for. It's like a black Mecca, right? So because it's a hub for the entrepreneur and for the business professional and for all these Fortune 500 companies because it's an international and global city, right? There is a gospel here that appeals to the humanistic side of human beings. It is prosperity. But it's not prosperity that has morphed into a neo prosperity gospel that puts you at the center of every text. You are the hero of every text. You are the hero of every sermon. You are the hero of every Sunday morning proclamation. And so instead of just telling people straight out, come to Christ. He's going to give you a house in a car. Now it's like now it's. The Lord exists for you and, and the Lord is here to fulfill your vision board and, and everything is going to. It's, it's a self help gospel that is, it is neoprosperity that wraps itself around the God's watches. Can we be honest around your purpose, your desire, your will, what you want to do, your vision board and all of the preaching is to facilitate what you want to do. That is a new version of the prosperity gospel that I think is more dangerous because it's cancerous and it's undetected. So it sits just under the surface of our senses.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Evan]

And we sit back in these churches and we eat that up. And so we leave these churches thinking about my own personal will and agenda and how I can twist God's arm to support that. We're not leaving these churches feeling convicted over our sin, feeling like, how am I being a better steward? How am I wringing out the sin of my own heart? How am I serving God? What is God's mission? And how does my life flow into that mission? If my life, along with your life, are just tributaries, how are these tributaries, men, women, flowing into the river of the Great Commission and what God has called us to do? But no, that's not. Our preaching is not preparing us for that. It's not preparing us to suffer. Well, it's not preparing us to sacrifice. It's not preparing us. Can I go deeper for eternity? I'm gonna say something right here. Okay. Right here in totality, I'm telling you right now, everybody watching this right now, there are some. There are some dangerous times coming for America. America is about to be Molly Whopped. And I am not sure if a lot of these brothers and sisters who are sitting in churches that stroke their ego and teaches them a humanistic gospel, are they going to have the type of Christianity and are they going to have enough word in them to withstand what's coming to this country? Listen, I said it right here in totality. There is some very dark times coming to this nation. I feel like God has shown me this in my prayer time. I've seen this prophetically. I feel like there is a chorus of prophetic voices that are giving warnings to this nation. And my whole thing is, if that word is not in you, if you don't have a prayer life, if you don't have genuine community, if you don't understand that, that this is not utopia, that utopia is the next life, and this life is a life of service. If you don't understand orthodox biblical Christianity, and if you don't understand where God has taken us, if you don't understand how God uses persecution to purify, then they're going to be a lot of believers. Watch. They're going to be a part of the apostasy. They're going to be a part of people who said, I tried Jesus, and they're going to fall away because they are not being prepared for what's coming and they're not being prepared for Christ. It's almost like in a lot of these churches, churches and I hate to be throwing shade, right? But not only in Atlanta, but across the country, there is a. There is a pervasive proclamation of a gospel that is disconnected from the Christ and orthodox Christianity.

[Trinity]

All right, guys, this episode is brought to you by Glorify, the number one Christian daily devotional app. Do you want to grow in your relationship with God but don't know how? Or maybe you find yourself opening the Bible with no idea where to start? I get it. I've been there. Luckily, that's where Glorify comes in. Glorify is the number one Christian daily devotional app. With Glorify, you can start your morning by reading the Bible passages of diving into Glorify's daily devotional and wrapping up with an immersive experience called Daily Walk with God. And if you need to take a few minutes to yourself in the middle of a bit busy day. Try one of Glorify's guided meditations or listen to a curated worship playlist for some quiet reflection to end the day. Enjoy Glorify's sleep meditation to help you wind down and put your mind and heart at ease. Whether you're a committed Christian or simply curious about faith, Glorify has something for you. Join over 20 million people who have downloaded the Glorify app right now. Glorify is offering you a free 14 day free trial when you visit glorify-app.com totality right now to download the glorify app. That's glorified-app.com totality. It's free. Glorified-app.com totality all right guys, back to the show. You know when you get cornered at the function by that one family member? Yeah. You know the one where you feel like you have to bend the truth a little bit because they constantly put you on the spot by asking you questions like when you're getting married or whatever, to that promotion you didn't get, only for them to really not listen to you and silently judge you. While you may have to grin and bear it with your family, you shouldn't feel that way when talking to your doctor about that rash that looks like you may eat pizza one too many times a week. Enter ZocDoc, the place where you can find and book doctors who will make you feel comfortable and actually listen to you. And we're not talking about a few, we're talking about tens of thousands of doctors, all with verified patient reviews. So you can make sure the vibes are vibing before you ever meet in real life. With Zocdoc you've got more options than you know. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare highly rated in network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online. Once you find the doc you want, you can book them immediately. No more waiting awkwardly on hold with a receptionist. And all these docs all have verified reviews from actual real patients. We're talking about booking appointments with tens of thousands of top rated patient reviewed credible doctors and specialists. You can filter specifically for ones who can take your insurance located near you treat basically any condition you're searching for. The typical wait time to see a doctor booked on Zocdoc is between just 24 and 72 hours. That's it. You can even score same day appointments. I use Zocdoc and you should too. Go to Zocdoc.com totality and download the Zocdoc app for free. Then find and book a top rated Doctor today. That's Zocdoc.com totality Zocdoc.com totality all right guys, back to the show that people.

[Evan]

In our generation are buying into. And then there's no reason why they are malnourished spiritually, why their hearts are sick, why they can't endure hardship, why they can't suffer well while they feel like Christianity is not working for them. Well, how could it work for you when you don't read so you don't know you're being told a lie. And the more truth you know, the easier it is to discern a lie. So this is what's happening in Atlanta, this is what's happening in our country. And I'm just so thankful that the Lord has brought me out of all of that and brought you out of all of that.

[Trinity]

Thank you God.

[Evan]

And that we on the other side of the fence where we want truth.

[Trinity]

You see what I'm saying?

[Brenda]

I think any philosophy, anything that would want you to put your faith, your hope, your security, your assurance in anyone, then the God man, Jesus Christ is a lifeless lifeboat.

[Trinity]

What would be a balance? Because I know for me, just as a mom, as a, as a woman. Yeah. Trying to find the balance of taking care of yourself but also taking care of the needs of everyone. And I feel like for women in general, but I know for black women especially that that can be hard to balance that. So what would, what are the Things that we have to be maybe mindful of so that it doesn't get into the myology. But still finding the balance of rest and. You know what I mean? And not being selfish.

[Brenda]

Yeah. So, I mean, I think that black women have lived under the proverbial microscope of, like, the superwoman complex. Right. The strong black woman is. Has been the trope that has been projected on us.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Brenda]

Which in reality, makes us believe we can never be weak. And if we can never be weak, then how was Christ ever made strong in our weakness?

[Trinity]

Right.

[Brenda]

And so we do have to take care of ourselves. And there are so many, like, historical reasons why I believe that's the case from slavery, when we were only valued for what we could produce and nobody cared about us and rest was, like, just not even on the table for us. We were completely dehumanized.

[Trinity]

Right.

[Brenda]

In slavery. So in this age where we do have to, like, you know the word boundaries, we use that word so much, it's like, what does that even mean? Because now we got a boundary up against God. Right. We end up making boundaries, we say for other people, and we really push God out.

[Trinity]

Okay, can we talk more about that? You don't have to right now, but we gotta talk more about that.

[Brenda]

Yeah. So I think that we want to have the type of rest that centers Christ in our rest.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Brenda]

And I think there are a number of ways we can rest, but it's the mentality, it's our belief about rest that is the issue, not whether or not we go to the spa or have a me day and read a book. I'm not talking about that. There are a number of ways to care for yourself and get your nails done and your hair done. Facials. Cool. But when you rest from God for the self, I would say that is a misappropriation of God's definition of rest.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Brenda]

And I think when we are overwhelmed in life and our schedules are hot and heavy and we're busy. Go, go, go. Grind culture. The curious thing about many women, even in the church, is that when it's time to rest, the first thing we cut is God. It's like, I need the rest. Won't be going to church.

[Trinity]

Right.

[Brenda]

But you up all night watching Netflix.

[Trinity]

Right.

[Brenda]

Or you still doing all the other things that have nothing to do. So we cut off our life source.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Brenda]

To rest.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Brenda]

Right. And so I think that we need to.

[Trinity]

Which is a trick. Is a trick of the enemy, of course. It's like, don't go to church. Don't read your Word. Just rest. Just rest. Just, you know, and I know that, I know that I have caught, caught in that, that trap before of like, oh. Because everything else seems like a priority.

[Brenda]

Yes. It's a balance. Sometimes we need to, we need to add to our plate. Sometimes we are out of sorts and we're bothered and we don't feel well because we're doing too little.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Brenda]

We think the goal of healthy living is subtraction, but sometimes it's faithfully adding. It's like, what is the yes you haven't given God yet.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Brenda]

So sometimes you feel peace when you say yes.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Brenda]

Not when you say no.

[Trinity]

Yeah. I stand on this podcast week after week after week, and I'm talking about, I've talked about forgiveness so much. I've talked about it so much because it is so important. And it's important because, especially for me, because I know what I've been forgiven from that day on the porch where the Lord radically snatched me up and rescued me and, and, and, and, and told me it wasn't too late for me and that he still loved me in spite of all the ways that, where I was an enemy towards him. Do you know what I mean? Like, thinking about how he has forgiven me when he didn't have to and continues to forgive me over and over every single day of my life. He has been pouring out his forgiveness on me every day. And when you think about that, when you think about God and how he is God, he is holy, righteous, the great. I am supremely good, supremely great, supremely wonderful. Like that God who sent his son to live a sinless life on this earth, who was innocent, blameless, spotless, that, that God forgave me. Who is not spotless, who is not. Who is not, you know, clean, who wasn't clean, who wasn't good, who has done great sins. You know what I mean? Like, he forgave me. And so, yeah, like, it would be hypocritical and for, and, and I, and I get it because I, I've been guilty of this too, thinking that, like, oh, yeah, like, yeah, forgive. But there are certain things that are unforgivable. But the Lord doesn't think about that about you. He doesn't think that way about me. Like, there's only one thing that, that is unforgivable and that's blasphemy of the, of the Holy Spirit and that's for God to determine what that is. Right. But like all, all your other sins, like, he has forgiven that. And so, yeah, we have to forgive. And. And I just think that that humility, like, it was another way of God impressing on me. Yeah. That takes humility, Megan. It takes humility for you to tell your sister, I'm sorry after all these years I've held this offense towards you and I shouldn't have. I was wrong. That takes humility. It takes humility to really be a Christian. You're always having an invitation to be humble. When plans don't go your way, it's an opportunity. Like, it's a humbling experience because you realize that you're not in control of time. You're not in control of every single circumstance. Only God is it. That's just. It is what it is. If something didn't work out your way, it's humbling because you realize that you're not in the. You're not the one in control. Only he is. When something doesn't come in the timing that you want it to come in, it's. It's a humbling opportunity because it. It reminds you that you're not in control of time because you didn't create it. I'm not in control of how that person treats me because I didn't create them. It's humbling. And so, yeah, I just feel like. Yeah, I've just been. I've just been in this phase of, like, really understanding what a life of humility really looks like. I feel like even in church context, I feel like we're experiencing that too. Like, you can have a little bit of the world and you can have God like this sort, watering down the gospel and all that. How can we maybe, you know, save ourselves from falling into those traps and really letting him be Lord?

[Megan Ashley]

So when I was first learning how to identify the voice of the Lord, I wish I would have heard this back then. I didn't know the voice of the Lord was coming through the uneasy and the tension. I thought it was like, kind of like, you hear me? Don't do that. I thought it was like that. Right. But it was the grieving, so random story that makes the point. I was. And you said you're an analogy person.

[Trinity]

So I'm an analogy. Yes, please.

[Megan Ashley]

So in high school, I was about to graduate high school. I was on a step team. My dad told me, I go to party, I gotta be back 4:11. I thought that was whack. I'm 18, you know, so I went. And we're all stepping. The closer it got to 11, I started to feel a little something. Right. But I'm about To graduate next week. I'm 18. And then the later it got, the more turnt the party got. So I just decided I'm gonna stay out longer. My dad had to have his phone in his hand at 11. He had.

[Trinity]

He.

[Megan Ashley]

He had to have it in his phone at 10:59, matter of fact. Because at 11, you know, in my pocket. And I ignored it. And they're like, come on, Jerry, let's go, let's go, let's go. Megan. I couldn't stroll. I couldn't enjoy the punch. I was trying, too. I really. I really, really was, man.

[Trinity]

You wanted to be rebellious so bad, bro.

[Megan Ashley]

I wanted so bad. And then it was like air. It was getting, you know, the later it got, the more hype it got. We're 18, so we're already like, wow.

[Trinity]

So it was.

[Megan Ashley]

It was. I couldn't enjoy watching. I couldn't enjoy it because daddy was calling. You see, that's how. That's how. That's the sanctification. That's the sanctification process. I was trying, but. But when you meet Jesus, you can never send the same. I was. I was trying so hard. I was trying, but I kept feeling it. So I was just like, hey, man, I gotta go, bro. I said, man, come on.

[Trinity]

Okay. Because you ain't even have fun anyway.

[Megan Ashley]

I wasn't. That's it.

[Trinity]

I'm not even having fun.

[Megan Ashley]

Do you hear what you just said? You could have been. You could have grown accustomed to a lifestyle that's not even fun anymore. And you're trying to enjoy it. But that Holy Spirit.

[Trinity]

Yep.

[Megan Ashley]

You see what I'm saying? You keep feeling. That is.

[Evan]

That's.

[Megan Ashley]

That's actually the voice of God. It really isn't. It took years for me to learn that. It's. It's. It's not always a scripture coming back to my mind. It's not always an audible voice. It's tension.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Megan Ashley]

Which now I could put language as grief.

[Trinity]

Like, it's.

[Megan Ashley]

You know, your father's calling you out of this. You know, you're supposed to be home, you know? And so now every believer, every filled with the Holy Spirit, follower of Jesus, will have that, and you will have.

[Trinity]

And if you don't, then it's impossible.

[Megan Ashley]

You will have it. Your lifestyle changes the process.

[Trinity]

Yep.

[Megan Ashley]

But you will have convictions.

[Trinity]

Yep.

[Megan Ashley]

And even if you don't have the convictions, you will go to a church that will point out something that will heighten the conviction. That's why now you had accountable. Because you heard the word. So now when you hear the word? It's like, man, I don't really know if I should go back over his apartment. Girl, where you at?

[Lisa]

You feel it?

[Megan Ashley]

It will be in all areas.

[Brenda]

I'm telling the truth.

[Megan Ashley]

It'll be in all areas. And the more you walk with Jesus, the loud. It's not vibrating no more.

[Trinity]

It's ringing a hundred percent. I think. I think it goes back to, like, what I was, how I experienced this. This change. Like, okay, you can be lord over my life, right? And I was dating someone, and in that dating, I was like, it's just not the same. Like, I mean, bruh. I was like, oh, my. And it was. And like you said, it was just so distracting that even if I want. Even if there was like, a desire for. Like there was a desire for you to stay at the party. Yeah. But this nudge that I was getting from the Holy Spirit, that conviction or that, like, that grief or whatever, it's like I can't even enjoy this. It won't even allow me to enjoy it.

[Megan Ashley]

So let me say something, too. So now this comes the trust of God, right? Because now I'm in a place now when I feel that, I don't know why, but I trust Him. You see, I'm not a person where if God shows me a red flag, I don't have to know why at all. I did this time. I did for sure. I love red. What is it, candy red? Is it burgundy? It depends on which red it is. Maybe we could change orange. But now, like, when you've been walking them long enough.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Megan Ashley]

When you feel that unction. When you feel that. That I trust it, I don't know what it is. This isn't judgment. This is discernment.

[Trinity]

I trust it.

[Megan Ashley]

I trust it. Because there's been too many other times I felt. Went along anyway and something happened. So, no, I trust it. So this is the same thing that I wanted to just echo what you're saying. As you're growing in your walk with the Lord, your convictions, they aren't necessarily getting stronger, but your. Your. Your discernment and your. Your In. Like, you're more in tune with God where you can feel it first. Like. Like, this will grieve. This will grieve God's heart.

[Trinity]

Yes. But the conf. The conflict between my faith and my. My race and all of those things were just really hard. And I kind of feel like here we are again in this same predicament. So how can we navigate through this? Number one, why is this so hard and why does it always feel harder for black people than it does for anybody else? And how can we navigate what feels very similar to what we did with the election with Obama?

[Lisa]

There's a few reasons why it's tough, and one of the reasons that it's tough is the history of this country and the fact that black people have been oppressed. And my grandparents that passed away before Obama got in office, I'm not sure they would have ever imagined it could happen. Like, that's a big. That was a huge moment.

[Trinity]

They still have pictures. Do your family members still have pictures of Obama in their house?

[Lisa]

Yeah, a lot of. Oh, absolutely. My grandfather had a picture when he passed away. He had a picture of Obama and a picture of mlk.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Lisa]

Above his bed.

[Trinity]

It's crazy.

[Lisa]

So it's a big deal. I mean, representation in a constitutional republic matters. And so that's why I think people feel that pressure and we should feel the pressure. But I think we have to, at the end of the day, we have to know what we believe and put politics into perspective. So that candidate, who is that historic candidate, may be the best candidate. Right. There may be somebody else who's the best candidate, but it's gotta be more so about who's gonna help our neighbors the most. So the connection for me between politics and Christianity is based on the great commandment. We need to love God and we need to love our neighbor as ourself.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Lisa]

If we love our neighbor as ourselves, we have to be socially concerned about what's happening to them. Now, politics isn't the only way to help somebody, but it's a very robust way to help help somebody out. So the kids down the street.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Lisa]

Can't afford lunch. And you can go down to the school board meeting with your friends and say, hey, man, we need to figure out some way that we get these kids fed. You're loving your neighbor, but that was a political act. The end wasn't like your objective wasn't political. But you're. But you use politics to help somebody else. So that's what we have to think of first. There's going to be tries to say, okay, think of your party first and just do what your party says. They're going to be people that say, just think of. Just think of your checkbook. And I'm not saying you can't think of it at all. But for a Christian, for that to be your first thing in politics, I think that's questionable. Some people are going to say, just think about your race. Just think about Your class, those things can be factors, but we run into trouble and can be easily manipulated when that's the only reason. So I want to see. I'm all for seeing black candidates.

[Trinity]

Right.

[Lisa]

I want to see them, but I also know there's some. And we don't even have to talk about this race right now, but there's some that don't need to be in office. Right. Because we know that race doesn't tell us anything about somebody's character or anything about somebody's competence. So I still need to look at those. I need to look at their history. I need to look at what they've done and see who's the best candidate for myself.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Lisa]

Now, what does that look like? One way that we can go about it, and I tell people, is take the five to ten number one things that you're concerned about and look at both candidates and say, who matches up with that? So that could be. Where do they stand on racial justice? Where they stand on poverty, where they stand on the sanctity of life. Line those up and see where they. See where they line up on those. Pray about it and then just make the best decision that you can. That part.

[Trinity]

That part, yeah. Pray. Why do we think that? Why do we separate God from politics? Is it because of this idea of separation between church and state type of thing?

[Lisa]

Yeah.

[Trinity]

Or like, why do we skip that? Because I'm. I'm gonna. I'm gonna be honest with you. I am guilty of that. Like, when I pray, I am not thinking about politics, and I know I need to be because it's loving my community, it's loving my neighbor, it's loving my. Like, I should be thinking about that. But why is that not entering? Do you know what I'm saying?

[Lisa]

Well, I think you hit it on the head. Look, we live in a. What they would call a pluralistic society, which means we live amongst people with different beliefs, and we do have a separation between church and state. What that does not mean is that you don't use your values as you vote and as you think through who you're going to support.

[Trinity]

I didn't publicly go through a divorce, but I publicly went through a divorce, if that makes sense. Well, I went. I publicly went through a divorce without being divorced to a public figure. Does that make sense? And so you went. You were a public figure who went through a public divorce with another public Jesus. And so, like that. I mean, I'm sorry. I did. You did. And it sucked. It still sucks, but it's something that I feel very connected to you with just. Because not a lot of people understand what this journey is like.

[Brenda]

Sure.

[Trinity]

To be a public figure.

[Brenda]

Yeah.

[Trinity]

And to be saved, sanctified.

[Brenda]

A Christian public figure, spirit. Yep.

[Trinity]

And to go through this.

[Brenda]

Yeah.

[Trinity]

And so I kind of just want to talk through, you know, all the things. How's it going? You okay? Are you fine?

[Brenda]

Are you okay, man? It was terrible. I say this all the time now. I'm like, divorce is hard. It's weird. People don't know who to choose. That your community gets split up, kids, all these things.

[Trinity]

Awkward.

[Brenda]

It's expensive. It robs everything that you ever have made in your whole life. Okay.

[Trinity]

And I didn't even make. I hadn't even.

[Brenda]

I was like, what is happening? It's horrible.

[Trinity]

It's very bad.

[Brenda]

And divorce publicly is even worse.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Brenda]

It's interesting because I've been trying to do my best to protect my ex husband, which even saying that out loud.

[Trinity]

It'S like, you're just freaking.

[Brenda]

I'm like. Makes me so mad. I'm still processing through anger and counseling right now. But I said this to you the other day. The only reason why I'm protecting my ex husband is because I'm protecting my children from the disgusting things that he did. And I just. I don't want vengeance.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Brenda]

Because it's not mine to carry. It never has been.

[Trinity]

Yep.

[Brenda]

And the Bible promises that vengeance has a home, and it's in the hands of Jesus. It is God's path or no way for me. And I think the hardest thing about my divorce was not only that, I found out about all the infidelity and everything from my ex husband. He was being extorted. He had to tell me. There was a video of some sort, and he ended up having to tell me. And the truth is, it was the third time over five years. And I forgiven once, forgiven twice all the things. And I was in Nashville when he called me, and I was filming with a Christian station, and I had all my friends on the hallway with me. I'm talking about people that I do for real life with, which is the kindness of God's timing.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Brenda]

And I hang up with my ex husband, and I text him, and I was like, I hope you guys are up. I just got the most devastating, worst news in my entire life. I don't know what to do. Dah, dah. And they, you know, we start having this conversation, and I remember looking at my friend Jamie's eyes, and I was like, I have to leave this time. Right because there is a gift in me that values redemption so much. I want to see people. My ministry is called Broken Crayons Still Color. Like.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Brenda]

I. I want to see people create beauty from broken things. I. I want it so bad, and I wanted that so bad for our family.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Brenda]

And I think that's what's the hardest.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Brenda]

Is for people to look at me and say, man, like, this is the Broken Crowns girl. She's the, you know, redemption. And to see so much brokenness in.

[Trinity]

My life that you can't redeem.

[Brenda]

I literally couldn't redeem it, and I still can't.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Brenda]

And that's really hard.

[Trinity]

Hard.

[Brenda]

Because I'm literally serving hope to people in a hopeless situation. And it's pulling on a part of me that needs God because I don't have it. And. No buts. All ands. And I've seen the goodness of God in the land of the living because of that. Because I lost my marriage because I had no other choice but to leave it. It was no longer God honoring. There wasn't repentance there. I. I don't know. I've leaned on God.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Brenda]

Like. And I like it. Like, I. I mean, I'm not like a pain junkie. You know what I'm saying?

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Brenda]

But I just. It makes God so much bigger when.

[Trinity]

It makes him real.

[Brenda]

It makes him so real. It makes him real to me and to people that are watching in. It's like, this is. There's so much injustice in this situation. Like, so much.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Brenda]

And there's so much goodness.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Brenda]

I'm watching my ex husband live his bop around and live his best life as if nothing has happened at all. With no accountability. Just the bopping around.

[Trinity]

It's the bopping for me. Bopping. It's the bopping. It is for me.

[Brenda]

As soon as I'm. I'm like, I don't know how you sleeping at night. I don't know how you eating food.

[Trinity]

But I think that. That. I think that. Okay, a few things. Number one, I want to say that I. Not that I am someone of whatever, but I'm just really proud of how you've handled this situation because I know what it's like.

[Brenda]

Yeah.

[Trinity]

To not tell your side of the story. I know what that's like in several situations.

[Brenda]

A lot.

[Trinity]

I know what it's like to not tell your side.

[Brenda]

Yeah.

[Trinity]

I know what it's like to honor when you're not being honored. I know what it's like to protect when you're not Being protected. I know what it's like to love when you're not being loved.

[Brenda]

Yep.

[Trinity]

And what I also know is so does Lord.

[Brenda]

Exactly.

[Trinity]

And yeah, in this suffering that sometimes it feels like suffering.

[Brenda]

Yeah.

[Trinity]

It also is serving. And it's an honor because I get to share in this suffering with Christ. Because the same way that he protected when he wasn't being respected for being, protecting, for being a protector, the same way that he still honored and covered and loved and forgave and you know what I'm saying, Like, I get to share in some of this suffering with Christ. And I love that. I feel like that's what you mean when it's like, I love that because. Because you get to identify with Christ now. And it's just a beautiful thing to experience.

[Brenda]

I've never heard of that.

[Trinity]

So I just want to say I'm proud of you because I understand what this is like. And the way that you carry yourself, the life that you have, you're just so full of joy. Like, nobody can be in your presence for more than five seconds without laughing. Like, you just literally exude joy. And I'm just happy that the Lord has kept you. Do you feel like rejection lands differently when it's professional or personal? Because, like, you know, like people, people deal with personal rejection. You don't get the job, you don't get the position, you don't get the promotion, all the things. Does that. Does that type of rejection land differently on us than like somebody not wanting to be your friend anymore or somebody not wanting to be in a relationship with you anymore or.

[Brenda]

I think it. So it depends. That's such a really good question. I've never been asked that because I think rejection at its root is the same substance.

[Trinity]

Right.

[Brenda]

It's not being chosen. And the thing about it too, God helped me to. Man, in order to even experience rejection, you have to first have even had the hope that you were accepted.

[Trinity]

Right.

[Brenda]

Like, you don't. You don't feel rejected by a job you didn't apply for.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Brenda]

You don't feel rejected by a guy you aren't even attracted to. As a matter of fact, you're like, thank you for not thank. Being interested. Right. You don't feel rejected because your friends, parents, don't view you as their daughter. You feel rejected because the job you had your heart set on, you didn't get it. The man that you gave the best years of your life to walked away because your parent abandoned you. And so when rejection happens, I think in any context, it doesn't injure our pride. It actually can break our heart because it required hope. So it shatters hope. And so for me, I do think that whether it's professional or personal, there's also familial rejection. Right. Like the people that should accept you unconditionally when. When those primary relationships, when those people don't accept you, I believe that there is a rejection that if you don't get healed from that, it could literally create generational trauma. And I think that's what we see now.

[Trinity]

Yeah.

[Brenda]

Is we see where there is rejection in families. Mothers, fathers, siblings, that have created so much bitterness that generations have been affected by it. So it's rejection after rejection. I have a friend of mine who. She was seeing a guy, and the guy, he. His father left him, abandoned him when he was a child, and he was like, man, you know, when I have children, I will never do that. Well, she ends up getting pregnant. He immediately disappears.

[Trinity]

Jesus.

[Brenda]

Right. Because he didn't realize that there was a root of rejection within him that he had not extricated. And if you leave it there, it'll. It'll grow into something that you don't even.

[Trinity]

I noticed that when I, like, now that my mom. Now that I'm older, me and my mom have more candid conversations. She's more. She's, like, been more vulnerable with me about just the things that she has experienced in life. And when. When she talks about certain things, it's interesting to me that I'm like, oh, yeah, I think I've felt that way too, most of my life. And then when I listen to my oldest son.

[Brenda]

Oh, yeah.

[Trinity]

Like, he doesn't like being left out. And so he's. He's experiencing friendship. Like, we're having these conversations about how he's experiencing friendships. And he has two friends at his church that he's kind of close with. And when they kind of go off and do something, it feels like rejection. And like, he's being left out. And like, that sense of loneliness kind of comes up for him. And it's so interesting because I'm like. I'm listening to my mother say that she's always felt that way too. And then I'm realizing myself how I've felt lonely and, you know, left out of things. And so you. You can really see a pattern in it. Yeah. In. In families. You know what I mean?

[Megan Ashley]

And it's.

[Brenda]

It's. It's identity. Like, it's identity. And that's why I think it is, again, generational. And it gets passed Down. But the solution, truly, is knowing who you are in Christ. Because once you really, deeply, truly know who you are in Christ, you can be left out. And you will be like, not just fine, you'll be grateful. You'll be like, oh, I got more time on my hand. So I do think that that is the solution, and that's why I point people over and over again in the book to Christ and identity in Christ. You know, at the root of so much rejection is shame. And people tend to.

[Trinity]

Shame is hard, man.

[Brenda]

It is, because it's about identity. And we talk about guilt and shame like they're the same thing. But guilt is the idea that I made a mistake. Shame is the idea that I am a mistake. And so if I am a mistake, that is my identity. That's who I am. But then that's why we become a new creature in Christ. We have to have a new identity in Christ. You cannot bring your old identity to who you are in Christ.

[Trinity]

Yeah, I'm so grateful for 52 weeks of episodes, for 52 weeks of conversations, 52 weeks of transparency and vulnerability. I don't know how many guests that we've had, but I just want to thank every single guest that I have had that has been on the podcast, people who I have looked up to, people who I admire, people that I love, I pray for or care about. So I'm so thankful for every single guest that has been on the platform for people who have come alongside me and just encouraged me and, you know. You know. Yeah, I just think that it's. It's been a crazy, wild ride, but I am so thankful for what the Lord has done. And I don't know what's going to happen next. I don't know what the next year is going to look like. I didn't know what this year looked like. But I do. I do commit to. I am committed to being faithful to the Lord and doing all that he has called me to do. Whether I'm scared, whether I feel qualified, whether I feel, you know, equipped or whatever. I. I'm just gonna do it and do whatever he calls me to do and trust in him in all of my ways, like really trusting in him and trusting what he's entrusted me with. And. And, yeah, and I pray that this podcast bless you. I pray that in one of the episodes that your life has changed, that your perspective might have changed, that you've considered the Lord more, that you're interested and who he is, not just in this mystical, like, fantasy way, but like the God of the Bible, like, knowing your word. And so, yeah, I'm just really grateful. This year has been transformative. Somebody asked, and one of my Patreon Village members asked, like, if you had to sum up this, this year in one word, what would it be? And I don't know if I have one word, but I do know that it's been utter surrender. Like, I've been completely dependent on the Lord and everything. And I think that that's going to continue to be a theme, is that I'm going to have to continue to trust him, continue to depend on him, continue to lean on him, and. And, yeah, and we'll see where. Where this takes us. I'm really excited for a break that I might be having coming up where, you know, you may not get in totality episodes, but just giving everyone time to rest and all the things. But then when I. When I do come back, that I'll come back fresh and filled and, you know, with maybe a new perspective and some new things that the Lord is doing in me and has done in me. So I am excited for that. Yeah, I'm grateful again for Jay and Jordan, who have been my support and, you know, my people. I'm grateful for, yeah, my mom, my kids, my support system, my community, for helping me, for being there for me. I'm so appreciative of the village. Like, y'all have no idea how much I love you guys, how much y'all mean to me, how much I pray for y'all. Like, y'all are the best supporters ever. And so shout out to every single person that's in the village community. We love you guys. We go hard for y'all. We rock with y'all. Like, y'all showed up this past weekend. I was just. Ah, man, I just cannot thank y'all enough for how you've supported me over the last year. Yeah, it's just another example of. Of God's kindness that he's been able to show me through the village community. And so I'm just excited for how we can continue to have discipleship and. And all the things in the next coming year. And so. And for all of you who watch on YouTube and listen to the audio and who listen, you know, week after week, I'm just so grateful and I pray again that the Lord has met you in one of these episodes, that He's. He's touched your heart in one of these conversations. And I pray that we can continue to grow together. Thank you for being patient with me. Thank you for enduring some of my imperfections and the ways where I've come up short, but just allowing me to really develop, you know, because that's hard to do in the public. It's hard to develop in the public. But you guys have been gracious and I'm just thankful for all of you. So journal prompt, I'm going to make it simple, like, what has God done in you in the last year? What has changed? What have you learned about yourself? What have you learned about God? What have you seen different in your life in the last 52 weeks? And so that's your journal prompt for for this week. And you know, hopefully in the coming up of 52 weeks, I won't forget to do the journal prompt. I'll remember to do those. Thank you, Jay for always reminding me. And yeah, that's your journal prompt. What has God done in your life in the last year? What has he shown you? What has he changed? What have you learned about him? Those are your journal prompts and I will see you guys. Hey you guys, before you go, I just wanted to say how grateful I am for your love and support. If you've enjoyed this episode, please take a moment and share it with a friend or a family member. If you could do me one huge favor, head over to Apple Podcast and leave a five star rating and a heartfelt review. It helps others just like you discover the podcast. You guys, let's continue to spread the inspiration. For more about me and the podcast, visit www.themaganashley.com. until next time, stay encouraged that you are so valued and so loved.