Megan Ashley (0:00)

This new year, why not let Audible expand your life by listening? Explore over 1 million audiobooks, podcasts and exclusive Audible originals that'll inspire and motivate you. Tap into your well being with advice and insight from leading professionals and experts on better health, relationships, career, finance, investing, and more. Maybe you want to kick a bad habit or start a good one. If you're interested in learning how to master your emotions and hearing scientifically backed advice for using your emotions as a tool, may I suggest Shift by psychologist and bestseller author Dr. Ethan Cross. Trust me, listening on Audible can help you reach the goals you set for yourself. Start listening today when you sign up for a free 30 day trial at audible.com wondery that's audible.com wondery what's up, you guys? Welcome back to another episode of In Totality. I'm your host, Megan Ashley. I'm, um, if you are joining me, then, you know, last week we were talking about my sabbatical and I'm back and I wanted to talk to you more about kind of some of the stuff that the Lord was kind of impressing on my heart as I was on sabbatical. But I wanted to kind of jump back into where we were last week. And again, I'm just really grateful to be back. I'm going to be honest with you guys. As I was taking the sabbatical, you, you guys know I told you, I was like, I was, I was chilling. The first couple weeks, I was chilling. I wasn't doing a whole lot. It was the holidays. I'm eating good, eating leftovers. I'm, you know, eating whatever I want, snacking, playing Block Blast, Airplane Chef, reading books, watching documentaries. I'm just, you know, I'm kicking it. But the whole point of me kind of taking time away was to really allow the Lord to touch my heart and to heal my, my heart in some areas and to heal my soul in some areas. And I think when I, when I was going on the fast that I talked about last week, what it exposed a lot in me was how prideful I am. And I, I pray that I am less prideful. I know I still, I have work to do, but it really just exposed pride in my heart because not coming to the Lord as much as I was and coming to him in full dependency really showed me that there was a lack of reverence for him. Like, oh, you don't believe that he really is who he says he is. Like you, you don't really believe that he's, that he's God and that he should be feared. Not feared in the sense of, like, I'm scared of him. He scares me. And he's this, like, mean dictator. Not, not in that. But, but a, but a reverential fear. Because he's holy, He's God, he's set apart, right? When Isaiah sees the Lord, he says, woe is me, for I'm a man of unclean lips. His response to his holiness is, I'm trash. Like, I'm, I'm messed up. I'm ruined. As some translation says, I'm, I'm ruined. And so the response to his holiness should be reverence. And as we were doing this fast, I, I, I just. The Lord, as I saw more of who he was, as I was seeking more of who he was, and as I was in his word more, and seeing his consistent nature and knowing his ways and just reading the history of our God, I was just like, man, I can't believe that this guy loves me. And because I am so far from good. And it was just exposing a lot of pride in me. I'm just gonna be honest with you guys. Like, the way that the Lord has been, like, wringing pride out of me, ringing it out. And so as I was kind of just thinking about how to come back and, and you guys know, like, this podcast is to, to glorify the Lord. This podcast is to, to do that by being vulnerable and transparent as much as, as much as possible. That is, that is my, my intentions. But as I was reading this book and as we were going through this fast, a lot of things were aligning for me and the lack of intimacy that I was having with the Lord, like, true intimacy, like just going to him because He's God and He's holy and he's worthy, was exposing a lot of the, the pride, a lot of the, the lack of reverence. And then it also exposed. As I was reading through Megan Fate Marshman's book, Relax. As I was reading through her book, I also realized how much that I don't trust in the Lord. How much of my Christian walk, my, my faith, especially last year, was so much about doing. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this right? Because let's keep it. Let's keep it a buck. We live in a culture that tells us to do more. More content, more reels, more investments, more grind, more, you know, fitness, more. Do more. More, do more. Everything is more. Everything is about doing something and doing more of It. And so even in that. In that context, I even put that context in my Christian discipline, like, my Christian walk. I'm going to do more. I'm going to pray more. I'm going to read more. I'm going to do all these things. And the Lord was. Was really exposing and showing me, like, I want you to depend on. I'm doing all the things more and not depending on him more. I'm doing all the things more, and I'm not being more honest with Him. I'm not yielding more to the Holy Spirit. I'm not loving more. I'm just doing, doing, doing, doing and reading. This book has really been transformative for me because she talks about, like. Like I said, doing more. Like, she gives this example of when you, like, you hear a really good message, or maybe you listen to a really good podcast or you hear a really good, you know, sermon on YouTube or you. You read a book and you hear something really good, and it's like, oh, I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna fast. I'm gonna. I'm gonna, you know, pray. I'm gonna read all of Ezekiel. I'm gonna journal. And there's nothing wrong with spiritual disciplines, but your spiritual disciplines should produce more intimacy and dependency on the Lord. It should not be about striving to do something, but it should be about being with the Lord and cultivating intimacy with him, with him, abiding in him. And going through this book, I realized like it is the Lord who does the work. I'm learning now so much about how to interpret and read and not even interpret. Just read it. Read what the scripture says and identify what is your role and what's God's role. And so this book, Relax, is rooted in Proverbs 3, 5, 6. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not into your own understanding. In all of your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make your path straight. It's. It's rooted. This. This book, Relax is rooted in that. And we all know that scripture, right? We've seen it on our bathroom. We've seen it in bathrooms. We've seen it. You know, you go into. You go into Hobby Lobby, and they got everything. A coaster, a mug, a wall poster. Trust in the Lord, right? We all know that scripture, but have we really been able to identify, right, what our job is and what the Lord's job is? Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own understanding. In all your ways, know him and He Will make your path straight. Right. What's our role? Trust in the Lord. With what? All of your heart. Okay. So I have to trust in the Lord and I have to bring all of my heart. It doesn't say trust in the Lord with some of your heart. Trust in the Lord with the part of your hearts where you're comfortable. It says, trust in the Lord with all of your heart. My. My responsibility. Trust in the Lord with all of my heart. I got it. I gotta trust him and I gotta bring my whole heart. Lean not. Don't rely on your own understanding. Okay. I can't rely on. On my own understanding because his ways are higher than my ways. His thoughts are above my thoughts. So if. If it's something that I would think, I'm going to not rely just on whatever thought. I'm not going to sanctify whatever thought just comes to my mind. I'm going to rely on Him. I'm going to trust on trust in Him. I'm going to bring it to him. To the Lord. In all of your ways, know Him. In all of my ways, know Him. What is my role to know Him. How do I know Him? His word. I. I'm telling y'all. This, this. It's about. We about to go back to the basics. We're going back to the basics. We're scaling it down, and we're going back to the basics. We're going to break down the basic things because there are a lot of us, and I'm talking to me, too. I'm telling you this from experience. There's a lot of us who get so frustrated with our spiritual walks, and we haven't even done the basics. We haven't even been committed and disciplined in doing the basic things. Trust in the Lord. Bring all of your heart. Don't sanctify every thought that comes to your mind, because every thought isn't yours. You don't think better than the Lord. You're not smarter than. Than the Lord. So every thought that I have, I'm not just going to automatically sanctify it. I'm going to take it to the Lord. Right? In all of my ways, I'm going to know him, and in every way, I'm going to know him. I'm going to know what he says about anxiety. I'm going to know what he says about depression. I want to know what he says about lust. I want to know what he says about pride. I want to know what he says about how I treat my parents. I want to know what he says about how do I raise my kids. I want to know what he says about how to steward my finances. I want to know what he says about friendship. I want to know what he says about fasting, about prayer, about a bi. I'm going to know him. Know him. And then it says, and he will make your path straight. He will do it. You will trust. You will bring all of your heart. You won't sanctify every thought that comes to your mind. You will know him, know his word, know his ways, know his character, know his nature. And he. He will make your path straight. So it's learning how to know what your role is and what God's role is. My job is to come to the Lord, be honest with him. Lord, here's my heart. Here's all the junk in it. And you. I give it to you, and you will do the work. Psalms 37. This one rocks rocked me. I was in my. On my floor. Guys, I. I could barely. I could barely read, like, see, because my eyes were full of tears. Listen to this. Trust in the Lord and do what is good. Dwell in the land and live securely. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart's desires. Commit your way to the Lord. Trust in him, and he will. Will act. Can you identify what your role is? Can you identify what God's role is? Listen. Trust in the Lord, your role. And do what is good. Your role. Dwell in the land and live securely. Your role. Take delight in the Lord, your role. And he will give you your heart's desires. His role. So that means that I. I don't give myself the desires. That means I don't lean on what I want. But I trust in the Lord. I take delight in him, and he will give me my heart's desires. Commit your ways to the Lord. Our job. Trust in Him, Our job. And he will act. There was something about those three words, he will act. That fil. You guys. I was in such despair when I was reading this. This scripture, when I was praying and crying out to the Lord. I was in such anguish and despair. I was having such a hard time. I felt like I was slowly slipping back into, like, a depression. And this is after doing a fast. This was after this amazing fast that I just told you guys about last week. I'm like, man, like, I did this fast. It was amazing. I was seeking the Lord. I felt like he was talking to me. He was telling me stuff and all this and this and that. And I was filled with the spirit and all this stuff. And then the next week it was kind of like, where are you? Dang. I don't feel him like I was feeling him last week. Stuff was going on with my kids and I, I, I was fought and, and I, and, and the Lord led me to. P.S. alright, guys, before we continue, this episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. In a society that glorifies hyper independence, it's easy to forget that we're all better when we have a support system behind us. Many of you know I believe therapy can be helpful for learning positive coping skills and it can empower you to be the best version of yourself. And it's helpful for everyone, not just those who've experienced what's considered a major trauma. BetterHelp is fully online, making therapy affordable and convenient. Serving over 5 million people worldwide, you can access a diverse network of more than 30, 000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialists and easily switch therapists anytime at no extra cost. Build your support system with Better help. Visit betterhelp.com totality today and get 10 off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com totality t o-t a l I T Y All right, guys. Better. Yeah. Back to the show. Commit your way to the Lord. Trust in him and he will act. That is a promise. He's not, it's not a suggestion. It's not saying he might act. It's not saying maybe he'll act. It's saying when you live a life that, that is committed to the Lord. When you live a life that is full and trusting in him, like you're fully trusting in him, then you have a promise that he will act. He will do it. He will do something. It may not be what you want, when you want it, how you want it, but he will do something. He will act. And that should encourage you, that should give you hope, that should, that should solidify even more that I am trusting in the one who is most trustworthy because I have a promise. The Bible says that his word will never return to him, void his. The Word says that it, it is, it is true. He's not a man that he should lie. So if he says it, he means it. If he said it, he's going to do it. You can bet. You can, you can bet anything on it. He's going to do what he says he's going to do. So when I read this, I say, okay, I'm going to identify what my role. I'm going to trust in the Lord. I'm going to dwell, I'm going to delight. I'm going to, I'm going to lean on Him. I'm going to commit my life to Him. I'm going to commit my ways to Him. All of my ways. It doesn't say, commit your, your, some of your ways. It says, commit your way to the Lord. Commit your way to the Lord. Commit to him in everything that you do. Commit to the Lord, and He will act. We are so impatient. We want the Lord to fulfill his obligation to us. And we are not faithful to our role. We're not faithful to our obligation. Our obligation is to trust in Him. Our obligation is to commit our ways. Our obligation is to get before him, be honest with what's in our heart because we can't hide from Him. He sees it anyway. But he loves us so much that he gives us free will. So he's looking for the invitation for us to give our hearts to Him. Let me tell you something. You can even go to the Lord. I don't know if you know this, but you could even go to the Lord with the fact that you don't trust Him. That's what I had to do. I'm like, lord, I know your word says to trust you. I, I, I, I don't trust you and I don't know how to trust you. Help me. I need help trusting you. I need help trusting you because this situation happened and I was trusting you and I was hoping that you would do what I wanted you to do, and you didn't. So it affected my trust towards you. Be honest with him. He's not intimidated. Be honest with him. Learn from David, who, who rang his heart out in front of the Lord all the time and didn't hold back. Learn how to identify what your role is and what God's role is. And when you identify it, you realize that the work, the big, the big stuff, the hard stuff is, is Him. I can be more relaxed about my life because it's Him. It's, it's, it's the Lord that makes my path straight. I don't have to worry about making my path straight. I have to work on trusting him. I have to work on abiding. I have to work on my spiritual disciplines and just going to the Lord and, and, and cultivating intimacy with him, committing my ways to him, considering him in all my ways, not relying on my own understanding. And he will make my path straight. I don't have to worry about. The hard thing is making the Path straight. And that ain't on you, that's on the Lord. He gives the desires. He will act. And when you, when you know more about the Lord and you know more about his nature, I'm telling you, there is none more trustworthy. What's up, you guys? Listen, I have to talk to you about skims. Let me tell you, Skims intimates have completely changed my experience wearing bras. Listen, I've completely swapped out the old stuff with skims intimates because they're the only brand that keeps me feeling comfortable all day long. Intimates are the foundation of every outfit and starting my day with skims really sets the tone. The Fits Everybody T shirt bra allows you to go throughout the day forgetting that you're even wearing a bra at all. I've even fallen asleep wearing the Fits Everybody T shirt bra where before trying skims underwire bras would be so uncomfortable digging and poking throughout the day that it would be the first thing I needed to remove as soon as I got home to relax. If you've given up on underwire bras, don't give up just yet. Trust me. You need to try this one. Shop Skims Best intimates, including the Fits Everybody collection and more@skims.com and skim stores. After you've placed your order, be sure to let them know that we sent you select podcast in the survey and be sure to select in totality in the drop down menu that follows. All right, guys, back to the show. I'm gonna give you this analogy because I'm black and I really don't know a lot of white people who play spades, okay? But I'm black. I was raised by my father growing up. I mean, I was raised by my mother. But my father, when, when I would be with my dad, he, you know, he had barbecue kickbacks. We, my dad loved a kickback. He'd be on the grill all day. He'd get up at, you know, nine in the morning. He's marinating the wings and the, and the ribs and making all the sides. And he's out there on the grill and the music is going and, and everybody comes over and I'm telling y'all, right? About after everybody ate, it was time to play spades. And so that's like a culture thing for me. Like, I love, I, I grew up watching it. It's a, it's a thing. But what I've learned is to observe everyone who you're playing with because there's four people, right? So I learned to observe the Other three people. And you know, with spades, you have a partner, right? And so say your partner. Say my partner is my dad. And I would observe everybody. And I could always tell who had the best hand. I could always tell in spades who had the best hand. You want to know why? They had a certain posture. They would be like, it's a certain posture that you have when you know that you about to rack up some books. There's a, There's a relaxed posture about them. They not listen. When you got. When you got a handful of clubs and hearts, you are strategizing. You like, man, I don't know how I'm gonna make this work. I got two spades, I got six hearts and three clubs. Like, you don't know how this is gonna work. So there's a lot of strategy that you, you see them, you like. They like moving the cars around. They. They looking back. There's a. There's a tense posture that they have. But the one who has. Now, I don't know how y'all play, but we play joker, joker, deuce, deuce. Okay? That's how we play. So it's big joker, little joker, two, two of diamonds, two of spades, and then the aces, and so on and so on. That's how we play. I don't want to hear it in the comments, okay? If you play a different way, that's your business is how we play, right? But you, but you. You know the posture of somebody who got the big joker, and you definitely know the posture with somebody who got both jokers or they got the two, two of diamonds. They're. They're trusting in the Lord is like having a spades partner who has all the high. The high cards. He's relaxed because he knows I'm going to win every book. That's the posture of the Lord. He's not tense. He's relaxed. This is a fixed game. I got the big joker, little joker, I got the two of diamonds, I got the two of spades, and I got all the aces and I got all the spades. So even if I have nothing but clubs and hearts and diamonds, my partner, the one I'm partnered with, the one I'm connected to, the one that's in this thing with me, I can be relaxed because they got all the winning cards. That's what it means to trust in the Lord. You can trust him because he's got. He's going to win. Y'all gonna run a Boston. Do you know what a Boston is? You don't because you don't play space. Running to Boston is like you. What is that? 10 books and on, right? That's when you win 10 books on, you win the game. Basically. You ran to Boston. They ain't got no books. That's what it's like to trust in the Lord. His posture is relaxed because he's God. The Bible says the earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof. He's sovereign and in control of it all. It's his. Know your role. I gotta trust him. I gotta abide. I have to commit my ways. I have to know him. I have to know his word. And he does the heavy lifting, guys. He does the. The. The work you can't do. The work of fixing your heart is too big for you. The work of forgiveness is too big for you. The work of healing your. It's too big for you. That's why you yield to him and he will do. He will act. He will do it, Guys, trust in him. And if you feel like you can't trust in him, start there. I can't, Lord. I don't know how to trust you. Start there. Be honest with him. There was a quote that was in this book. I forget the. The doctor's name. I think it's like his last name is Co, but it says, prayer isn't the place to be perfect. It's the place to be honest. Don't approach the Lord as if he's not the Lord. He's supremely good, just holy smart. He knows more than you. He's been around longer than you. He knows you, knew you before you were ever here. He sees you. So just be honest with him. Go to him with all of your heart. Don't let this book. Don't let this book intimidate you. And don't make. Don't project your. Your humanity onto God's holy word. It's not an exaggeration. Give all of your heart to Him. All of it. Hand over all the keys, all of it. Say, God, this is no longer mine. I give it to you. Here are all the keys. So even if there are some hidden doors that I've shut, you got the keys to them. Go in and search all of it. You can have it. You can have it all. I'm telling you, if you start there, that I'm telling you guys, you will experience such a different level of freedom in your relationship with the Lord, such a pure intimacy with him. When you're just honest and you know your role and you know his. He. What's beautiful to me. Like Abraham, Abraham's faith was accounted to him, right? And that always blows my mind because Abraham didn't have anything prior to rely on. God spoke and he believed and it and his faith was accounted to him, right? But he didn't have this, he didn't have the history that we have. We have God's history in our hands. We have, we have the history of his nature, the history of his works through flawed human beings, just like you. Again, the goal of this is not to platform the people in the Bible, but it's to see the consistent nature of God. He's the main character. The point of this is not to read it and be like, oh God, make me like David, oh God, make me. No, God, I. You are to be trusted. Because I saw what you did with Abraham. I saw what you did with Jacob. I saw what you did with Ezekiel. I saw what you did with Isaiah. I saw what you did with Jeremiah. I saw what you did with the prophets, the major and the minors. I saw what you did with the disciples. I saw what you did with Paul. I saw what I, I, I have your history. I, I know your consistent nature. You can be trusted. This is why I can go to you with all of my heart and trust my ways to you and trust all of my heart to you. Because you have history of consistency, guys, we don't have that history with anything else. We don't have that much history with anything else. Instagram doesn't have that history. Your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your friends, weed, alcohol, sex, none of it has that history. Like this. Nothing is consistent like this. Nothing is more fulfilling like this. Trust in the Lord because he's trustworthy. Whether you believe it or not, he's trustworthy because it's proven in his word time and time again. Know how to identify your role, know how to identify his and know that you can relax because you've entrusted yourself with the One who is sovereign and good. And again, trustworthy. Hear me. I'm not saying be lazy. I'm saying relax. The hard work isn't for you to do. The hardest part of it is, is God will do it. It's just like being a parent. My kids, they have responsibilities. But the hardest stuff is me. That's just the way it is. And it's the same thing with our Heavenly Father. Yes, we have some responsibilities. Yes, there are some things that we, that we have to do. But the heavy stuff, guys, the stuff that is weighing you down, the stuff that is, is causing you to lose your Faith. Listen. The enemy has been after the same thing that he's always been after. Your faith, your trust, your belief in God's word. It's been like that since Genesis 3. He didn't. He didn't come into the garden to try to chop Eve's head off and kill her and just end her life. He sowed seeds of doubt in God's Word. He was after her faith in God's word. He was after her faith in God's sovereignty. He was after her, her faith in God. Fast Forward to Luke 22. Simon, Simon, Jesus says to Peter, simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you like wheat. But I have prayed for you that your faith would not fail. He's after the same thing. He's after your faith and your trust and your hope and your belief in God. So I'm. I'm. I'm incur. I. I'm. With all of my heart, I'm encouraging you to trust in the Lord and know that you have a high priest who is interceding on your behalf and that if you would just do. Your faith is not going to fail. Guys, just do your part. Just do your role. He's praying for you. He's interceding on your behalf. He's doing the heavy lifting. He's doing the hard stuff. Trust him. Yield, abide. Be honest. Get in this word and know him. That's going to help you, help feel more of your faith. It's going to help. The disciples asked like they didn't ask for a whole bunch of stuff. They said, increase our faith so you can ask for the same thing. Increase my faith. Lord, help me trust you more. I'm telling you, start there again. Guys, we're stripping things back and we're going back to the simple things. I know we want all of these spiritual big stuff, but maybe we need to focus on the basics. Trusting in the Lord, not sanctifying our own thoughts, yielding to him, acknowledging him, committing our way of life to him. Do that. Be consistent in that, in those things. Okay. I pray that this was helpful for you. Psalms 37 just rocked me. He will act that. That. That part of that scripture just rocked me. And I hope that you would go and read, read all of Psalms 37. I. I want. I don't really have a journal prompt. Maybe you can do a journal prompt that we did with. With our Patreon community as we're going through this book. Relax. It's. It's. Why can I trust? Why can I trust the Lord? And what's keeping me from trusting him. But then I want you to go and read Psalms 37 and read the whole thing out loud. Don't just read it, but read it out loud. Hear yourself say the words out loud and. And then go back and kind of journal what you experienced as you read that out loud. Okay. I love you guys. We'll talk more about all of this stuff, because that's just where I'm at with trusting in the Lord and abiding and, you know, identifying his role in our role. But I love you guys, and I hope this was helpful for you. Send this to somebody who you might feel like needs it. But, yeah, I love you guys, and I'll see you next week.