Jordan (6:55)

With.

Megan Ashley (6:57)

Sends you a text out of nowhere and it just causes your mind to kind of raise and you're like, man, I ain't even thought about this person in so long. And then now all of these feelings and thoughts are coming back. So all of this stuff is happening on top of trying. I got like a huge disappointment with my kids school. It was just a, it was a massive blow to me not being able to get them into the school that I wanted to get them into. And so all of these things are happening at one time on top of just the daily things. Being a mom, trying, you know, managing the podcast, managing all the things, just all the stuff, I got to a level of frustration that I cannot even communicate. Like, it made me so frustrated and, and obviously, you guys know I've talked about this before where I have gotten so frustrated, where I throw like a temper tantrum with the Lord and I feel like I, like I was throwing a temper tantrum with the Lord, getting before him and expressing and lamenting all the things that were making me mad and kind of just like, why are you doing all of this? You know what I'm saying? Even with the deer hitting my car, you know what I'm saying? It's like, lord, you got all the authority and control over this deer. Why would you allow this deer to literally run into this rental car? Do you know what I'm saying? Like, just, I'm frustrated. I'm just frustrated. Why is this happening? Why is this happening? I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was moving, like with my kids school. It's like I thought I was moving towards your will and doing things that are in your will and they didn't get in and all these things. It's just all of these things frustrating me or they got into the school, they got accepted, but something happened where they couldn't go. Anyway, it. All these things. So I'm lamenting and, and complaining all of these things to the Lord. And I feel like I sensed really strongly the Lord impress on my heart, like, what. What if I'm not trying to destroy you, but I'm trying to weaken you? And it hit me so hard because I feel like I'm like, okay, Lord, like you're beating me up. Is this the consequence of, like, past sin and this is just now the consequence of these sins? Like, you know, I'm trying to rationalize why I am experiencing all of these challenges and all of this, like, trials, right? It's like one of Those things in First Peter 4 says, Dear friends, don't be surprised when fiery ordeals come among you to test you as if something unusual is happening to you. Instead, rejoice and share in the sufferings of Christ. And so it's like, I should, as a Christian, I should not be surprised when I'm experiencing trials and suffering. Like, I should not be surprised. I should. I should be expecting those things. Not, not that I'm looking for those things. Not that I'm seeking after trials and seeking after suffering and seeking after challenges. It's not that that I'm seeking after those things, but I. Those things in my Christian walk, I should expect it now, when those things were happening the last couple of weeks, I wasn't expecting it. I'm expecting. I'm doing things in accordance to God's will as far as what I believe is in God's will, right? And so these things. So the things that I'm pursuing should just work out, right? I'm. I'm. I'm living a consecrated life. And, and this is so goofy, but in my mind, I'm like, I'm living a consecrated life. There ain't no way a deer is going to jump out in front of his rental car. You know what I'm saying? Like, it sounds silly, but that. I think that that's kind of whether I was consciously thinking that way or not. I think that that was the, the posture of my heart. And truly, as a Christian, we should be expecting trials, many different trials in different, various forms. You know what I mean? And so I feel like I. Like I said, I feel like that I sense the Lord strongly be like, I'm not trying to. I'm not destroying you, I'm weakening you. And it hit me, I was like, oh, the Lord wants me weak. And, and I feel like, this idea of weakness is so contrary to the. The cultural context that we live in in today's society, because everything is about, you know, you. You got this, you. You do this, you do that. It's all out of your own strength. But at. For the Christian, it's like, no, it's. It's. It's first submitting your weakness to the Lord and then having strength, right? If you go over to. To First Corinthians, I believe. No, 2 Corinthians, 2 Corinthians 12. And we all know this, this passage. I'm just going to. I'm just going to repeat it and reiterate this point. But Paul says at the very end, you know, he, the thorn, the thorn in his side, all the things so that he doesn't boast in himself, but he boasts in Christ. And he says at the end. This is verse. Let me see, let me see, let me see. Verse 9. Therefore I will most gladly boast all the more in my weakness so that Christ's power may reside in me. So that. So I take pleasure in weakness, insults, hardships, persecutions, and in difficulties for the sake of Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong. So. So to me, the then is telling me, first I need to be weak. If I'm trying to have strength in something, I first need to be weak. I first need to yield and surrender my weakness to the Lord. Do you know what I mean? Like, I need to surrender this weakness to the Lord so that his strength can be made perfect in my life, so that his glory can be revealed in my life. And it's not on me, but it's on him, right? It's not me boasting in my strength and in myself, but it's. It's allowing my weakness to. To yield me right to the dependency of the Lord so that his glory can be manifested in my life and on display in my life. And I think that was that. That's something that.

Jordan (13:46)

What's up? In totality, fam, it's me, Megan Ashley. Have you ever stopped to think about who taught you about money when you were a kid? For me, it was cleaning around the house on Saturday mornings. Every chore completed meant a few dollars in my pocket. But knowing what to do with the cash, well, that was the mystery. And now that I'm raising three boys, I'm determined to get those money lessons a bit earlier than I did and a lot more practically. As you know, I stand by tools that make life a little bit easier. So today's Episode is sponsored by Acorns Early. Acorns early is a smart money app and debit card for kids that help them learn the value of money. Acorns Early Chores Tracker helps kids learn the value of a dollar. You just set up chores in the app, assign how much each is worth and and let your kids mark them complete when they're done. No more paper lists on the fridge. Acorns early lets parents pay allowances automatically. Kids can spend what they earn with their very own debit card. They'll love the sense of independence and choosing from over 35 customizable designs makes it even more fun. Get real time notifications when your kids spend Set spending limits and instantly block a lost or stolen card all from your phone. They can set personal savings goals, pick their own target dates and even switch on an automatic future so their steadily building up towards what they want. Since we started with Acorns early, my son is rounding up cash for new baseball gear, my middle is saving up for Chick Fil A and my oldest is stacking towards a new pair of sneakers he's been talking about non stop. Watching them log chores, track their progress and hit those milestones is everything I hope for and more. Head to acornserly.com totality or download the Acorns early app to help your kids grow their money skills today. Acorn's early card is issued by Community Federal Savings Bank Member FDIC pursuant to license by MasterCard International. TNCS. Apply monthly subscription fees start from $5 per month unless canceled. All right guys, back to the conversation.

Megan Ashley (15:45)

It can feel very like yeah yeah, yeah common until you till you're in the thick of a lot of stuff and then when you are because the enemy is trying to wear us out. At the end of the day the enemy isn't so much after taking your life, your physical life. Like he's not just yes, he's he prowls around looking for those who he can devour. He comes to steal, kill and destroy all the things, yes, but he's he's also coming to to weaken your faithfulness in the Lord. And the Lord wants you to be weak. Surrender your weakness to him to increase your faithfulness to make your faithfulness stronger in him. Right? And so this was the thing when when you're in the thick of it, it's so hard to to remember this. But I needed to remember this and I'm here to remind you of this that the Lord is looking for your weakness. And I promise you in your Christian walk, one of the Most important things I feel like I've had to learn is learn how to be weak, right? And this isn't, this isn't new, y' all. Like, let's go over to Deuteronomy, right? When they're in the wilderness, the Lord is allowing them not to have food and not to have water. And he's weakening them for what? So that they can be dependent and not self reliant. He takes them through a season where they, where he was. He's weakening them so that they learn how to depend and on the Lord and not be self reliant in their self, right? So this isn't new. The Lord is always after that. He's always after his strength in our lives. His strength to be made perfect in our lives, right? The Bible says that we are jars of clay, right? We, we have treasure in this jar of clay. Well, what, what does that mean, the jar of clay? Well, if you go over to Genesis 2, right? We're made from the dirt. That's what clay is, right? We're just dirt. But on the inside of us there's treasure. Because what the Lord does with our weakness is that he produces great treasure on the inside of us, right? You look over in, in Judges when you look at Gideon's army and he, and he, he tells them to have fewer. He weakens their, their army. He weakens their numbers. Why? So that God's glory can be on display. So that they cannot boast in themselves, but only in the Lord. This is a common, a common thing I even think about, like what Job went through, even being a righteous man, right? Because sometimes, sometimes the, the. The trials that we experience in the Lord weakening us is so that he can reveal things to us. Reveal. He can be revealing sin in our heart and he could be revealing a level of his, of his nature and his character that we do not know yet. And so, and even when I look at, when I look at Job, it's like he was a righteous man. He did not sin to the degree of what his friends were accusing him that he sinned of. But then he comes to the end in, in job, job 42. This is at the end of the, of the, of the book of Job. And in chapter 42, verse five through six, he says, I have heard reports about you, but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I reject my words and I am sorry for them. I am dust and ashes. So he, so he goes through all these things and he's like, I've heard reports of you, but now my eyes have seen you. So after all the trials, all the. The suffering, all the weakness that Job experiences, he says, now I have seen you, now my eyes have seen you. And so I. I guess what I. What I want to. I'm going to be repeating the same point is that the Lord. The Lord wants to reveal himself to you. And there are ways that he reveals him there. There's level he reveals himself to you. That can only come through weakness. He is always after our depend, like he wants us to be fully dependent on him and never ourselves. He is trying to kill. Even with Job, it's like Job was a righteous man, but he still had some pride in his heart. So even all the stuff that he experienced, all the weakness, all the trials, all the suffering that he experienced, all also showed a level of pride that was exposed, a level of pride that was in his heart. Same thing that I feel like was happening to me. Now, I'm not comparing myself to Job because Joe went through a lot and a lot of times, y' all, we be comparing ourselves to Job when it's like your. Your. Your affliction. Yes, it is an. It is an affliction. It is a suffering. But it's like literally your homegirl just got on your nerves. Please do not compare that to what Job went through. Literally, your tire just blew. Yes, that sucks. But that. That is not it does. It pales in comparison to what this man went through. So I'm not trying to compare myself in that way, but I'm saying the experience of. Of being weak in that way was showing me a level of. Of pride in my heart, showing me a level of. Of entitlement, showing me a level of arrogance in my heart. Showing me. Yeah, and, And. And I'm gonna talk about this at an. On another episode, but showing me just a lack of diligence I had. And so the weakness is not just to make you weak or. Or to make you unuseful or to make you. Or to just lie you down completely without ever picking you back up. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, the Lord is after your weakness to produce something in you to produce. Like he's after our weakness to produce something great on the inside of us, right? The treasure that is on the inside of this jar of clay that we are. Do you know what I'm saying? And I feel like we just. We see this over and over and over again. And even with Paul, where he talks about. So second Corinthians 4, same area where he talks about the jar of clay, right? And he says, we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed. We are perplexed, but not despair. We are persecuted, but not abandoned. We are struck down, but not destroyed. This. This is what it means to yield your weakness. So you are weak, but you are getting. You're. He's building you up. Do you know what I'm saying? Yes, you might be suffering, but this. Yes, you might be going through this, but this. There's always a but. But. However, you as the Christian, we as Christians, we as Christ followers, we as believers, have to be looking for Christ in the weakness, in the suffering, in the trial. We must be looking to him and looking for him.

Jordan (23:28)

Okay.

Megan Ashley (23:29)

God, now I'd have been through three car accidents. I didn't. Had two random con. Relational challenges. I didn't have. Like the situation with this, the situation with that. I got this over here. I got that. Okay. Lord, what are you doing? What are you trying to show me about me? What are you showing me about my own heart? What are you trying to produce in me? Like I am looking for him and for his works in the weakness. I'm not just looking to be weak and give up, right? Paul even says at the. If you go over to Second Corinthians 4, after he says all these things, you go over to 16, verse 16. Therefore, we do not give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day. For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely in incomparable internal weight of glory. So we do not focus on what is seen, but we. But what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. The Lord is perfecting and working good things in you. You may not see them, but focus on the fact that that is what he's doing, because that's what his word has promised that he will do. Right? That is what he's promising for the, for the. I. I talk about this all the time. Romans 8. The. The sufferings of this world won't compare to the glory that would be revealed. The other scripture that I cannot think of off the top of my head, where he talks about suffering produces character and. And perseverance and all like he's producing good works in us. But if we don't first humble ourselves and submit our weakness to him that we're going. It's like we're gonna miss it. The level of weakness, like the, the pace at which I. That I yield my weakness to the Lord, I get to experience another. Another level of his grace and his mercy. And I'm not even talking, like, I want to be clear too, because these were, I'm giving you situational things that were making me weak. But honestly, even, even just with myself, like, I re. I, I relate so much to the, to the scripture in, in Second Corinthians 12, where Paul talks about the thorn in his side. And the reason why I feel like I, I relate to that so much is, number one, we all can relate to it because the thorn is not something that we know. We don't know what the thorn is. And we've talked about this before on here. The thorn isn't specified. But I, I've, I, I just so relate to the, to the begging and the pleading and the petitioning the Lord to remove the thorn. You guys, honestly, I am the biggest challenge to overcome in my life. I am the biggest sin in my life. It's me. I am the biggest weapon formed against myself. It's me. And so I'm, I, I in all transparency and vulnerability, I'm always begging the Lord to deliver me from me. Like, I'm sick of me. Like, I feel like I am the thorn in my own flesh. And I'm like, just remove it, please. Remove this flesh. Like, remove, remove this from me. Why do I respond this way? Why do I feel so, feel this way so much? Or why, why am I so moody? Why am I so this, why am I so that, like, Lord, just why do I fe, like, have all these emotions and all these things and whatever I, I, I'm always like, lord, just deliver me from me. Right? And some of that, yes, it, it requires repentance and diligence and all the things and like, submitting to the Lord. And some of it's just like, the Lord is like, no, I'm not going to take certain feelings away because it makes you fully depend on me. Like, if I was to remove this from you, I'm not sure how much I would get. How, how intimate we would be. And it's not even the Lord saying, I'm not sure because he does know. He knows us. If he were to remove whatever this thorn was in Paul's side, I don't know if Paul would be Paul. I don't know what would have happened to Paul's ministry. I don't know if Paul would have fell in pride and boasting in himself because he literally says, this episode is sponsored by better help. Let's just get into it.

Jordan (28:07)

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Megan Ashley (28:09)

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Megan Ashley (29:55)

Guys, back to the conversation. He says in verse seven, therefore, so I would not exalt myself. A thorn in my flesh was given to me. Me, a messenger of Satan, to torment me, so that I would not exalt myself. Yeah, he's like, I'm. I'm. I'm going to. No, I'm going to allow that to stay there. I'm going to allow that weakness to stay there. So that you have no room to boast in yourself, so that you have no room to exalt yourself. But instead, you have room to be humble. Therefore, then I will exalt you. The Bible says that the Lord resists the proud, and he exalts the humble, and he gives more grace to the humble. He's so kind. And. And truthfully, it doesn't feel like that I know it doesn't. It didn't feel like that for me. And I'm still, like, coming out of this place of, like, frustration and all the things and complaining and, like, I was. I feel like when the Lord spoke to me, I was, like, really convicted about how my attitude was. Like, the Lord gave me a strong discipline and strong, like, rebuke. Like, you better get it together. And. And I realized, like, oh, okay, yeah, you. You want me weak. Not to. Just not to destroy me, but you want me weak so that your glory and your power can be revealed in my life and that I will not be able to ever depend on myself, but always rely on you. The Bible says in John 15:5, Apart from me, you can do nothing. You. We. There's nothing that we can do apart from him. So it requires a humility to say, lord, I am not capable of doing this, so I yield this weakness to you so that your strength can be made perfect in me. I am not capable of loving well, so I yield this weakness to you so that your love can be perfected in me. I'm not. I'm not capable of being faithful to you out of my own strength. So, Lord, I yield this weakness so that you can make your faithfulness perfect in me, so that you help that you can. You produce faithfulness in me. You produce love in me. You produce kindness in me. You produce patience in me. But I have to humble myself in order to receive and experience the glory that God wants to display in my life. And so I just think that, yeah, this was extremely enlightening to me. I'm telling you right now, one of the greatest things that you can do in your Christian walk is to learn how to be weak. And I know that that might be contrary to whatever every motivational speaker and whatever else is saying on all types of social media platforms. I understand, but I'm telling you there. There's a difference in. In the Christian being weak because we have the Lord, we have the Holy Spirit, The. The power of the Holy Spirit to do the things that we are incapable of doing. I'm trying to tell y' all, it's. It. It's not even the big things, I'm telling you. It's even in the. In the. In the. In the small things. Like, I was experiencing challenges and all the things that were making me weak. Weak in love, weak in kindness, weak impatience. Like, I was not being kind and patient and caring and thoughtful and this and that, because I was experiencing all these trials, but they were. They were. They were Meant to, they were sent and allowed. The Lord allowed those things to happen to weaken me so that I can rely on him, so that he would kill self reliance. The Lord is trying to kill the self reliance in us so that we can be fully dependent on Him. It's even in the Lord's Prayer as he's teaching the disciples how to pray. Daily bread. Give us this day our daily bread. What does that mean? That requires dependency. Going back to how the Israelites are walking around and they don't have any food, but he sends manna. Don't collect it, but only collect what, what you need for the day. Everything else was spoiled. You need to come back tomorrow and collect what you need for that day. Tony Evans says in one of the commentaries, he was like, today's grace is for today, tomorrow's grace is for tomorrow. You know what I mean? Like, you gotta, you have to depend on the Lord daily. And that just ties, ties into what is God after? I think when, when we're weak, what, what are the things that God is after? I think, and I don't know if this is in a particular order, but I think the Lord is, is after to reveal areas of pride or sin in our hearts. I think he's after humbling us. I think the Lord is after showcasing and displaying his power in our lives. And because, because your weakness can be a really good testimony. Like your weakness can be such a evangelic, evangelistic testimony to people. Like when you're going through things and you're still, and you're, you're leaning, you're yielding your weakness to the Lord and, and you're allowing his strength to be made perfect in you. And you're going through all this stuff, yet you're still kind, yet you're still loving, yet you're still patient, yet you're still faithful, yet you still are leaning in and having intimacy with the Lord. People will see that. Non believers will see that and say two things. Non believers a will see that and be like, how, I don't know how. You're going through all the things that you're going through. And you are still kind of, and you are still loving and you are still patient and you are still all the things, right? Well, it's the fruit of the Spirit. The Holy Spirit is doing that. It's not me, right? So you, so you have the ability to be like that ain't even me. Because I, I'm too weak to do. I'm too weak for that. I have no way, I have no strength in me to do that. That is literally the Holy Spirit standing up fully in me. And through his power, I'm able to be kind and patient and loving and faithful and all the things. Right? And then even to the believer, it can be encouraging. It can encourage the believer to, to when they have an opportunity to be weak, to be weak and to yield it to the Lord and to rely on the Holy Spirit for power to display the fruits of the Spirit. Do you see what I'm saying? So don't, don't send. I'm. I'm telling you this is extremely difficult for, for, I know, for me, for some people, maybe for all of us. But, and hear me, because I'm not saying don't feel what you feel and lament and, and go to the Lord about all the things. But there has to come a point in time where you're drawing a line and saying, okay, I've done all the lamenting, I've done all the complaining. I'm drawing a line. And I'm going to decide to not center myself too much in this, but I'm going to center the Lord in this. And I'm going to go after what he's after and I'm going to pursue what he's in pursuit of. And I like, I'm going to center Christ. I'm not going to think so much about myself, but I'm going to think about what the Lord, how this will give glory to the Lord. So I'm going to yield my weakness and allow the Lord's strength to be made perfect in me. I'm going to be kind to people. I'm going to love people. Not out of my own strength, not out of works. Because that's not what I'm saying. Not, not the striving and your work stuff. I'm not saying that, but I'm saying yielding it so that the Lord has space to, so the Holy Spirit has space to stand up fully in you. That's what I'm saying. I just think that that's really important. And, and, and, and be mindful of, of the, of how much you're consuming content that is just centering you in everything. Everything is about you, when truly nothing in your life is about you. For you were created by him for Him. You weren't created for yourself. You were created for the Lord. And so center him in everything that you do, even in your weakness. I'm going to center Christ in my weakness. I don't feel like it, but that's what I'm going to do because truly and, and, and we've talked about this to pray to have a heart that is after what God is after. Like have a heart that truly wants what God wants. And so as you're praying that when you're in times where you are weak and you're, and you're experiencing stuff, trials and challenges and all the things, you have a heart that still is after his glory. And so I pray, I pray that, that, that that is encouraging to you. Something that. One of my favorite quotes from C.S. lewis and I feel like I've quoted this on this, on this platform before, but he says pain insists upon being attended to. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world. Like there is the Lord works. It's like he speaks so loudly through affliction and suffering and pain and weakness. And so yeah, I just think that there is, there is a man. There's so much to, to know about the Lord in weakness. And I just think that I've experienced personally even now in this season of my life, I'm just experiencing just new knowledge and stronger revelation of who he is through my weakness. And I pray that this episode helps you to do, to do the same. I hope that it was encouraging. Like I, I hope you hear my heart in, in what the Lord wants to do in our weakness. And, and, and literally being weak is, is the, is the strongest thing that you can do. And I know that probably sounds crazy, but it is it Just be, just yield your weakness and watch God do something radical in your life. Watch his glory be on full display and his power be on full display in your life when you submit and yield your weakness. Before we go, I want to give you guys a journal prompt. I think this is really important just so that you can sit and meditate on kind of what the Lord might be saying to you. And so yeah, what is the Lord saying to you? Let's think of a journal prompt. Okay, why don't you write down what areas in my life am I experiencing weakness? What areas in my life am I yielding weakness? And what areas in my life am I becoming self reliant? Like take inventory on. Like what am I, what am I trying to control and be self reliant on? And what is the Lord want me to be weak and yield my weakness to Him? Like what are those areas in which the Lord wants me to yield my weakness? And honestly, if you, if you ask yourself either one, it's the same like whatever area you're being self reliant in is the area that he actually wants you to be weak in so that you can depend on Him. And so just take inventory of what that is. Where, where, where am I being self reliant? Where I need to be weak? What areas of my life does God want to be on full display that I'm, I'm robbing? Like I don't know if you can rob God of his glory. Can you rob God of his glory? Is that theologically sound? I mean, because it's like God is sovereign. He'll do what he want to do. But yeah, where, where, like where is there an area of your life where God wants his glory to be on display? That your, your, your lack of self reliance is like weakening that in some type of way or hindering that in some type of way. So take inventory of that. That's your journal prompt this week. I love you guys so much and I'll see you next week right here on In Totality.

Jordan (42:31)

Listen guys, we are revamping all things that comes to In Totality Merch and we still have some pieces left for our first collection. So because it's summertime, I probably won't do this again. But we are having a flash show.

Megan Ashley (42:42)

Going on right now.

Jordan (42:44)

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Megan Ashley (42:47)

I'm stressed out, Jordan. Stressed out. Take it all.

Jordan (42:50)

We don't have that many pieces left. Even if you have a piece already, buy another one. Bless somebody with it. Whether it's a birthday gift, graduation gift, or even a Christmas gift. I know it's early, but never too early to prepare. I love you guys so much. Buy the merch and get ready for.

Megan Ashley (43:05)

Some really cool new pieces that are.

Jordan (43:07)

Going to drop very soon. I don't know when, but very soon. Buy the merch right now@themeganashley.shop.

Megan Ashley (43:16)

See you there. What's up you guys? I hope you enjoyed this episode. Thank you so much for listening and I hope you felt encouraged in some way.

Jordan (43:25)

Be sure to like and follow into Tality Podcast everywhere you listen to your favorite shows. Follow into Tality on Apple Podcasts or Spotify and be sure to turn on your post notifications so that you can be the first to listen whenever there's a new episode.

Jay (43:43)

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