Megan Ashley (21:54)

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And for parents who are in ministry, just for. This is really, just for anybody, but this was really powerful to me as a church kid and as a had, as a, as a kid who had a parent who was in leadership at our church is that. I remember on multiple occasions, my mom repenting to me. I remember her saying, mommy was wrong for that. I shouldn't have reacted in that way. And it was so powerful to me. Like, looking back now as an adult, I'm like, wow, that was so powerful. That's, that's, that's making it a part of your daily life is being humble enough that when you get it wrong, you go to your children and you say, hey, listen, I need to repent. I shouldn't have said it this way. I shouldn't have done it that way. God convicted me. God in his kindness and his mercy led me to the right way. Right? And Mommy needs to, Mommy needs to tell you that I'm sorry and that. And I need you to forgive me. Right? Showing that humility, even to your children, your children aren't beneath you repenting to. That's, that's part of discipleship. Even you being humble enough to, to repent to them is discipleship. Them seeing you humble yourself with other people, that's part of discipleship. How you treat people when you're at the Chick Fil A line or when you're at the grocery store, that's discipleship. I'm not the best in traffic, you know what I'm saying? I could do better. Somebody, you know, and I live in Atlanta, y', all, they just. People be driving and doing the craziest stuff. The craziest stuff. It could be a clear day at noon, and Atlanta drivers are going to find a way to create a bad day. They're going to find a way how I have seen more cars faced in the opposite direction on a freeway than I have ever seen in my life, okay? It's, it's crazy. And I've been driving for, for, for a little while now, okay? And so I could be better in my discipleship when it comes to patience and driving. But even, but it's like, it's in the everyday living, okay, so when, so when verse seven talks about when you, when you sit and when you lie down, it's saying the totality of your lives, how you live your lives in totality is a form of discipleship. Not just how we show up on Sunday, but how are you showing up on Monday, how are you showing up Wednesday when you're in the middle of the week and the week is getting harder, how are you showing up on Friday? How are you showing, like, how are you showing up every single day as a, as a godly woman or a godly man, as a godly parent, how are you showing up? The Bible is very explicit in Matthew 28:19 to make disciples. And, and I've grown up in church, and in a lot of ways I've seen a lot of church kids, I've seen a lot of pastors kids, ministers kids. And there were some ways where kids were the last on the parents list when it came to discipleship. They discipled everyone else, right? But they didn't disciple their children. And so discipleship, yes, go make disciples. But start in your home. There's your mission field right there. You're ready for God to launch your ministry. It starts right there in the house. Disciple your children. I was, I was thinking about this and I was praying about it because I'm just like, lord, there are so many people that watch this podcast who are coming back to the faith or, or, or, or coming to the faith for the first time. And a lot of them are, and a lot of them may have children, right? And what I love about the In Totality fam is that it's so broad, right? We have listeners that are in that are teenagers all the way up to 60 years old. I've gotten women who are in their 60s that listen to this podcast. And that's a, that's an amazing, that's a blessing. And so these people right here in the middle, these 30 year olds and, and, and 40 year olds who have children, right? Some of them are returning to the faith after deconstructing in ways, and a lot of them are coming to the faith for the first. I know that it can feel anxious, like it can feel there can be anxiety about how you disciple your children, right? Especially when you're like, I'm still learning and growing and I'm still trying to be discipled by the Lord, and I'm still trying to get mentorship and discipleship from. From godly, wise people. Like, this is over. This. This is overwhelming even for me. I get that. But we have to trust in a sovereign God, right? You have to trust that you're gonna make mistakes, right? I know that there's a. Proverbs, Proverbs 22. Whereas this train of a child in the way they should go, and when they get older, they won't depart from it. And I know that that may sound like a promise to you, but proverbs are just. I was listening to John Piper talk about this, but he was like, those are. Those are like general ways that life should go, not necessary guarantees. But understand this. There. There's a scripture in Hosea, Hosea 11. Where, where go about his children, the Israelites, right? He's talking about Israel and he's talking about how he knows that they are going to think about it. Israelites were always disobedient, and God is a perfect father. So clearly we see that you can be a perfect parent. And there's still no guarantee that your kids are going to be perfect. God's perfect. And the Israelites were constantly disobedient. So I just want to take off the. Just release yourself of that burden. Your kids are not going to be perfect. You're not perfect. Your kids aren't going to be perfect. Don't put the totality of their salvation as a burden to you. That is the. The weight of their eternity is on the Lord. You just have to be faithful over repeating God's commands to them, putting them in an environment where. Where God is not. Not where God is not uncommon. If you delight in the Lord, right? Then he, the Lord, like it will be common in your household. So I just want to. I just want to. I don't want this to come across. Please hear me. Hear my heart. I don't want this to come across as like, you need to do this. You need to do this. You need to do this. No delight in the Lord and let that overflow into your love for your children. And let them see you love the Lord and let that be discipleship in your home. Ephesians 6:4 fathers, don't stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instructions of the Lord. So we see that this is a constant Thing to train them up in the things of the Lord. Train them up in the things of the Lord. I often time when I have conversations with Eli and Jonah, and I'm talking to them about things, I often would ask them, like, you know, what do you think the Lord would think about that? I bring. I invite the Lord into our conversations, even when it's about common things. I don't separate God from anything, but I invite him in on everything when it comes to. When it comes to our lives. Right. One thing that. That I've learned at being a parent is that your children will always imitate your passion. Whatever you're passionate about, it comes out, and then your kids will imitate that. So watch your kids. Like, take. Take time and just observe your kids. I've watched. Okay, I'm gonna give you an example of what happened to me, and I'm gonna tell you what happened to me as a kid, and I'm gonna tell you how I see that with my. With my kids. I'll never forget growing up my mom. There's a. There's a disorder. We know now. We didn't know when I was younger, but there's a disorder called. Jay, you're gonna have to look this up and see if I'm saying it the right way. It's called misophonia, and it's like. I think it's mesophonia, but it's like, a disorder where you don't like, listening, like, tiny noises bother you. Mysophonia, it's called misophonia, and it's like, tiny noises bother you. So, like, you. If you're ever irritated with, like. Like, listening to someone chew, like, if mukbangs drive you crazy, like, I cannot stand mukbangs. That listening to somebody chew, especially when it sounds juicy. Oh, my God, it makes my skin crawl. Like, or smacking on gum. Or when people whistle. When people whistle, y'. All. When people whistle, I should not be as upset as I get. And I literally, Because I love the Lord and I want to honor him in all my ways, I have to actively check my heart. It's like, first of all, they're happy. They're having. They're having a good day. Why are you so irritated with somebody whistling? But the sound of it, it's so intrusive to me. It's like, save that for your private time in your private place, in your private car, in your private home, walking down the aisles of cbs. Whistling is just, to me, intrusive. Right? So it's Called Mesophonia. And it's just. Okay. So anyway, I said all that to say, my mom, when I was younger, I used to always remember her being irritated with, like, smacking. It's like, I am too. I am just learning truly how to eat well, Give me a second. But my mom would be like, megan, close your mouth. So one day, we're sitting, we're in the car, my mom's driving, and I think I had to be like six years old, right? And I'm. We're in the car, and I had a. One of my best friends growing up. My childhood best friend, her name was Joy. She's sitting in the car with me. And Joy has gum, right? And my mom says, joy is just. Just getting down on her gum, right? She is just like, her name, Joyful, okay? She's mind her business, enjoying her gum. And my mom says, all of a sudden, I said, joy, stop smacking your gum. Right? Where do you think that I got that from? I imitated what I saw. My mom used to say it all the time. My mom was always irritated by. By smacking gum. So therefore I imitated what I saw. And so sometimes I'll look at my children. Even now, I'll look at them, I'll listen to Jonah or I listen to Eli, and I kind of can see. I can see ways of me, I can see ways of their dad. Even in certain, like, facial expressions or certain hand gestures or whatever. It's like they literally imitate what they see. And so watch your ch. Children, take. Take inventory. Go and look. Just take some time and just observe your kids. What are they imitating? What. How. Like, what are they displaying? And it could be because that's what they're imitating. That's what they've gotten from you. And so I say that to encourage you that. That even. Even when you don't think that you're discipling them, your lives are discipling them. Right? Okay, let me move on. In verse 8 and 9, it says, Bind them to your hands and write them on your doorpost. So they would take scripture and write on a piece of paper, and they would put it in phylacteries and they would tie them on their forehead. And a lot of Jewish, Orthodox, orthod. Orthodox Jews, they still do this to this day. Like, they'll still bind them on their forehead and. And they'll still write scripture and put it in the doorpost of their homes. And we were in la and we were staying at. At an Airbnb, and you can tell that they were like an, an orthodox Jewish home because you could see the scriptures like on their doorposts and stuff. And so if you feel like you need to do that, that's fine. But I think how we bring that into common context and common culture is, is that you, you make the things of God in your home. Like you, you, you make it a part of your home that can be practical. You know, they have like the hobby lobby things and they'll say, ask for me in my house. We will serve the Lord. Right? Y' all remember people used to put that on over their door post. You would walk in their house and you would see that or you would see a picture of Jesus, right? The old folks, it would be a picture of Jesus, MLK and Obama, okay? It's like they, I want to make it very clear where we stand in this house. I got family members that's. That got that to this day. His Jesus, MLK and Obama, okay? That is, that's what they had. They want to make it very clear where they stand at in their home. But I think yes, we can do things in practical ways. Like if you invited a guest into your home without saying anything, what does your home give off? Now I'm not saying you have to have scriptures everywhere, but like in my house you will see scriptures in certain places. I have a gallery wall in what, what's now. It used to be my front room, but now is the, the dining room. But you'll see scriptures there. You'll see scriptures in my kids rooms. Caleb is, is non verbal. Y' all know that he has fragile X and autism. We put, we, we post the things of the Lord all over his room. Posters, scriptures make it a part. Like do, do you usher in the presence of the Lord in your home? Is it peaceful? I'm not talking about quiet, but is there peace? That's also part of discipleship. That's how we can take that scripture where it says bind them to your hands and tie it on your foreheads and put in the doorposts of your home. We can bring that into common, common context. Do you talk about scripture in your home? Do your children have a Bible? They have these little cute little cars I just got the kids not too long ago. And, and it's like a, a scripture a day or a scripture a week for them to memorize. And it breaks down the, the text and but these are, but the, like they repeating the scripture. I ask them every morning what's your scripture for this week? They repeat it to Me, okay, what does this mean to you? You? And we talk about it and I've had to work on this too, because I usually will pray and I will shut my door and I'll pray and like, my door is shut. But sometimes I've been even convicted about, no, leave your door open. Let them walk in on you praying. Let them see you get on your face before the Lord. Let them see those tears. Let them see it. That's discipleship. Let them see you. You, you go before the Lord and delight in his presence. Committed to your spiritual disciplines. Let them walk in on you working through a scripture. Let them walk in on you having a godly conversation with your homegirl. Like, let them see that. Invite them into that. Pray with them. I've been trying to, and I'm not the greatest at this. That's something I just kind of recently have been a little convicted about. But it's like not just me praying, but also putting a demand on them to pray. No, let me hear you pray. Me and Jonah kind of work this out sometimes before, like when I tuck him in, he'll be, I'll say, like, okay, let's say our prayers. But then sometimes I will make him pray, not just me pray, teaching him that you need to have your own relationship with the Lord and go before the Lord yourself. Being mindful of what is influencing them. Are you mindful of what your kids are watching on YouTube? Are you mindful of what they're watching on TV and what you allow to be taught in their home, in your home or seen in your home, what music they're listening to? I, I was on Live the other day on Instagram and we were talking about, I was talking about this and I had a question from somebody. You guys know that I'm, I'm, I'm, I've been divorced for a few years now. And so I co parent and so my kids are here with me during the week and then they're, they're with their dad on the weekend. And so I had a person that asked, like, how do you, how do you disciple your children for when you co parent and you're, and you're, you know, the other parent may not believe in the way that you believe or whatever. And, and that is a real question. And I think that that can be difficult, but I think that you just do what you can do. You should just be a good steward over what you do in your home and then do some check ins. Like, I'll check in with my kids on the weekend, like hey, you know, do you read some scripture today? You pray today? Did you do your Bible study today? Even when they're not with me. Me. But again, take the. Take the burden of their eternity off. The weight of their eternity belongs to the Lord. The Lord is sovereign and good and kind and merciful, and ultimately, he loves your kids more than you do. And so I just believe that even when they're not with me, that is that because I have made it a part of our. Our daily living, and I've deposited scripture in them, and I've deposited godly things in them and put them and surrounded them by godly things and all the stuff like God is sovereign and kind of mine, and he has them even when they're not with me, right? We see often in the New Testament that Jesus prioritizes discipleship, right? So in Mark 12, we see Jesus actually quote Deuteronomy 6. 5 when he talks about this greatest command. Matthew 7. The wise person builds their house on God's word. You want to be wise, Build your house on the word of God. God. You want to be a wise parent? Their foundation needs to be the Word of God. Matthew 22, Love God, love others. Discipleship is built on that. Discipleship is built on that loving God and loving people. I had a discipleship moment the other day, and I said, jonah, how much do you love me? He said, oh, mom, it's Jesus. And then you. And I said, really? I said, then who else? I was like, take me down the list. He said, jesus, you my dogs. I said, wait a minute now. Wait a minute, Jonah. Discipleship moment, right? We're supposed to love God and his people. Now, I'm not saying you can't love your dogs now, but the dogs don't come before the people. You got so many people to love and prioritize before you prioritize these dogs. You got brothers. You get your daddy. You got your. You got Jordan, got Jay, you got your honey. You got people. Okay? It's just. He said, jesus, my mama and my dogs. That's a discipleship moment, because the greatest command is to love God and then people, right? So I use this as a moment of opportunity. It was silly and funny. I do think he meant it. I ain't gonna hold you. I think he was serious, but it was a moment for me to include. Include the gospel and include God into that conversation. So something like that, okay? Stuff like that. There's so much that. That we can talk about that I don't think can be fit into one episode. But as your kids are going back to school, I understand that there are, There are anxieties there. There's maybe some fears. The world is crazy, right? And so there could be some fears going into letting your kids go to school as a. Maybe you're coming to the faith for the first time or coming back to the faith and. And the things of the Lord have become really serious for you. And now you're. You might have some anxieties about putting your kids in a secular environment and the things that they might be opening their. Like that they might be open to or influenced by all the things. I get it. Replace the anxiety with urgency in discipling your children, training them up in the ways of the Lord word, repeating it to them over and over again, telling them the gospel, sharing the gospel with them, teaching them what it means to love God and to follow his commands. Like, put an urgency on that. Listen, we will put an urgency on all the other things. My kid, Jonah, Eli, they play sports. They're. You know, Jonah has played in com. Competitive baseball, and he's very talented and gifted athletically. Right. And we will make all the provisions to make sure he has all he needs for this, for that gift. But your kids also have spiritual gifts that we also need to prioritize. We also need to make an emphasis and an importance on those spiritual gifts as well. Praying and asking the Lord, lord, show me ways that I can nurture and steward their spiritual gifts that you've given them them. There are so many things that come along with a new school year, but I'm telling you, don't, don't pause on discipleship because they're now in school. Make it a part of it. When my kids get home, I'm like, all right, homework. Did you get your Bible study done? You get your chores done? Okay, I make it a part of it. It's not, oh, they're in school so they don't have to read their words. They're. They're too busy to know. That's just as a priority. We're going to steward our schoolwork and we're also going to steward our spiritual lives. We're going to make an importance on both. And so. So that's my encouragement for you guys. I'm praying. I'm praying for our children this school year. I'm praying for you as parents. I'm praying that. That the Lord helps us and guides us, that the Holy Spirit empowers us to disciple our children to delight in the Lord and so that. That that passion overflows and the kids see that, that we just delight. I heard a quote from John Piper. He said, like, the Lord is most glorified when we are the most satisfied in Him. And so we. I want, I want this year, this school year, our lives, my children's lives. I want it to glorify the Lord. And that puts a demand on me to be more satisfied in the Lord. And so it starts with, with us as parents and then trickles down to our children. What gets in the head gets in the body. I do believe that. And so as we are delighting in the Lord and we prioritize intimacy with him and we prioritize loving him and, and following his commands and being obedient and submitting to him out of a place of love and honor and reverence, that will get down to our children and will make it a. A priority, not out of anxiety, but out of urgency, to disciple and discipline our children in the ways. And so I pray that this is encouraging to you as you go into the new school year. I pray that your children will love the Lord and that they will have encounters and experiences with him and His Word as we get through the 2025, 2026 school year. And so I love you guys and I pray that this was a blessing to you. All right, I'll see you next week.

Megan Ashley (47:17)

What's up, you guys? I hope you enjoyed this episode. Thank you so much for listening and I hope you you felt encouraged in some way. Be sure to like and follow into Tality podcast everywhere you listen to your favorite shows. Follow into Tality on Apple Podcasts or Spotify and be sure to turn on your post notifications so that you can be the first to listen whenever there's a new episode.