In Totality with Megan Ashley — EP 87: Special Episode - The Village Q&A (September 9, 2025)

Episode Overview

In this special Q&A episode, Megan Ashley is joined by Jay and Jordan to answer questions submitted by the Patreon community, “The Village.” The episode is candid, unstructured, and deeply rooted in practical Christian living, covering friendship dynamics, spiritual discernment, loving others according to God’s word, suffering, and correction within Christian relationships. Megan emphasizes transparency, biblical truth, and the importance of relying on the Holy Spirit in every aspect of life.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Navigating Friendships With “Lukewarm” or Non-believing Friends

[05:10 – 12:40]

• Megan’s Approach:

  • Believers need not “excommunicate” all non-Christian or less-devoted friends. Instead, be mindful and possibly adjust time spent or activities shared, ensuring these remain pleasing to God.
  • Change in lifestyle is often the most powerful witness: “There is no better witness to an old friend than when they just see how your life is different and how the Lord has changed your heart.” (Megan, 07:50)
  • Suggests finding new common interests that align with your faith (e.g. arcades, coffee, documentaries) as alternatives to old habits that may not honor God.
  • “Sometimes you can just sit with people, ask them questions... just be normal. We can, we can just be normal. That’s okay, too.” (Megan, 10:30)
  • Highlights that, as seen in the life of Jesus, it’s possible to be present with non-believers without participating in their lifestyle.

• Practical Guidance:

  • Pray for guidance on whether to adjust or release certain friendships.
  • “You still have to love them. That’s—all I’m saying. So love them.” (Megan, 12:00)

2. Stewarding Godly Friendships

[12:41 – 17:25]

• Importance of a Prayer Life:
  • “If you want to learn how to steward relationships well, you need to have a prayer life.” (Megan, 13:05)
  • Prayer should be ongoing for your friends and their specific needs: “Ask your friends, how can I pray for you this week? And then pray right then and there.” (Megan, 15:00)
  • Admits to personal struggles with consistency in broader friendships, showing vulnerability and self-awareness.

3. Discerning Being Led by God vs. Led by Emotions

[17:26 – 23:25]

• Feelings vs. God’s Guidance:
  • “My emotions have always led me to fleshly responses. Feelings are indicators, like the check engine light.” (Megan, 18:10)
  • Emotions are fleeting; if something persists, it might be from the Lord—always test it by Scripture and bring it to God in prayer and through wise counsel.
  • “God almost never agrees with my flesh.” (Megan, 19:30)
  • Practical steps: “Pray without ceasing, seek God, get in His Word, get godly counsel, and let the Lord speak through those means.” (Megan, 20:50)

4. Loving People Well According to God’s Definition

[23:26 – 35:40]

• Scriptural Foundations:

  • Cites 1 Corinthians 13 and Ephesians 4 for biblical definitions of love: “Love is patient, love is kind... it is not self-seeking, not irritable, does not keep a record of wrongs.” (Megan reading, 24:20)
  • “It's hard to love people the way God calls us to love without fully relying on the Holy Spirit.” (Megan, 25:45)
  • Honest confession: “I am an irritable person, so it is so easy for me to be irritable... when there's a lack of patience or kindness, I’m not loving well.” (Megan, 26:40)

• Self-Examination:

  • “Ask your friends: How can I love you better? Are there some areas I can show up for you better?” (Megan, 32:15)
  • Stresses that love is self-sacrificing, using Christ’s sacrifice as the ultimate example.

• Memorable Quote:

  • “Love is not contingent upon how you feel or what someone does for you. It’s self-sacrificing.” (Megan, 33:00)

5. Enduring Suffering as a Christian

[35:41 – 47:20]

• Theology of Suffering:

  • “It is very clear in scripture... we are to expect suffering.” (Megan, 36:55)
  • Shares numerous passages on Christian suffering (1 Peter 4:12, James 1, Romans 5, John 16:33, Romans 8:18, Hebrews 4, Philippians 3).
  • “Just because you are a Christian, you are not exempt from the human experience.” (Megan, 39:00)

• Key Comforts:

  • Christ sympathizes with us and we can approach the throne of grace for help (Hebrews 4).
  • There is hope in suffering—“The sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing to the glory that is going to be revealed to us.” (Romans 8:18 quoted by Megan, 41:40)
  • “Every suffering has an opportunity. You're either going to allow the Lord to leverage that suffering or the enemy. But guess what's not your option? Never suffering.” (Megan, 43:00)

6. When and How to Call Out Sin or Character Flaws

[47:21 – 58:50]

• Gentleness over Criticism:

  • Addresses a “hypercritical culture” where quick criticism is normalized.
  • “My prayer is that we would be more curious before we are critical.” (Megan, 48:15)
  • “Everything the Lord allows you to see isn't license for you to say.” (Megan, 52:30)
  • Encourage seeking the Lord in prayer before confronting: “Seek before you say, be curious before you criticize.” (Megan, 55:00)

• Scriptural Guidance:

  • References Titus 3 and the example of Nathan and David (“Nathan was sent by the Lord to confront, he didn’t just decide on his own.” 57:50)
  • Suggests private inquiry with someone over public call-outs and always remember one’s own failings and God’s mercy.

7. Miscellaneous

[58:51 – End]

• Merch Drop:

  • Playfully responds about the uncertainty of new merchandise, comparing it to waiting on Christ’s return (59:10).

• Encouragement to Join “The Village”:

  • Community is emphasized; listeners are invited to join on Patreon for deeper connection, studies, and early access.

Notable Quotes & Moments

“There is no better witness to an old friend than when they just see how your life is different and how the Lord has changed your heart.”
— Megan (07:50)

“It’s hard to love people the way God calls us to love without fully relying on the Holy Spirit.”
— Megan (25:45)

“Feelings are indicators, like the check engine light... They’re not in charge.”
— Megan (18:10)

"God almost never agrees with my flesh."
— Megan (19:30)

“The greatest of all, the kingdom, is servant first. How are you serving your friends?”
— Megan (33:45)

“Everything the Lord allows you to see isn't license for you to say.”
— Megan (52:30)

“Just because you are a Christian, you are not exempt from the human experience.”
— Megan (39:00)

“Every suffering has an opportunity. You're either going to allow the Lord to leverage that suffering or the enemy... but guess what's not your option? Never suffering.”
— Megan (43:00)

“Seek before you say, be curious before you criticize.”
— Megan (55:00)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Navigating Lukewarm or Unbelieving Friendships: [05:10 – 12:40]
• Stewarding Godly Friendships: [12:41 – 17:25]
• Being Led by God vs. Emotions: [17:26 – 23:25]
• Loving Well, According to Scripture: [23:26 – 35:40]
• Enduring Suffering as a Christian: [35:41 – 47:20]
• Calling Out Sin & Character Flaws: [47:21 – 58:50]
• Merch Drop & Community Invitation: [58:51 – End]

Tone & Style

Megan maintains a relaxed, conversational tone, combining vulnerability with biblical teaching. The language is authentic and inviting, making spiritual principles relatable and accessible. The episode encourages listeners to reflect honestly, embrace humility, and rely on the Holy Spirit for growth and guidance.

For Listeners

This episode is especially valuable for Christians navigating complex relationships, uncertain emotions, and the realities of life’s hardships. It serves as both a practical guide and a source of encouragement, reminding believers to seek God first, foster genuine connections, and embrace both the joys and sufferings of the faith journey—in totality.