Podcast Summary: In Totality with Megan Ashley - EP 99: "Your Existence is Essential: Finding Your Purpose Through the Pain"
Date: December 2, 2025
Host: Megan Ashley
Guest: Gloria Umanah (Founder of Hope Booth)
Episode Overview
In this powerful and vulnerability-filled episode, Megan Ashley sits down with Gloria Umanah to discuss mental health, the battle with suicidal ideations, and the profound journey of finding purpose amidst pain. Both women share deeply personal stories about identity, suffering, and the hope that anchors them in their faith. Gloria unpacks her journey as a Nigerian-American, a pastor's kid, and now as the founder of Hope Booth—a creative mental health intervention bringing hope to those struggling with suicidal thoughts. The conversation offers rich insight into mental health in Christian culture, practical theology about suffering, and the necessity of hope and active obedience.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Gloria’s Story: Identity, Pain, and Encountering God
(04:47 – 17:34)
- Gloria shares candidly about growing up in a Nigerian-American home, feeling the weight of being a pastor’s kid, and the early identity crises she experienced—especially after learning in 4th grade that her father was her stepdad.
- Recounts her struggles with rejection and abandonment and their deep roots in her life, leading to a severe mental health crisis in high school.
- She describes her lowest moment, planning to end her life, and the miraculous intervention during a youth service—the exact day she considers her “life anniversary.”
- Quote: “It is a sheer miracle that I’m here. I shouldn’t be here.” – Gloria (02:20)
- Quote: “Vulnerability sparks vulnerability.” – Gloria (15:13)
- Notes how seeing others struggle at the event gave her courage to admit her own pain, highlighting the importance of community.
2. The Essential Nature of Your Existence
(10:20 – 17:34)
- Gloria unpacks the spiritual reality that one’s existence is essential to God’s plan—and, inversely, that the enemy also wages war to prevent that purpose.
- Quote: “My existence is essential in the plan of God, which means my non-existence is essential in the plan of the enemy.” – Gloria (10:20)
- Both women reflect on the generational presence of seeds of pain, rejection, and the enemy’s intention to destroy even before birth.
3. Misconceptions About Suicidal Ideation
(18:20 – 24:10)
- Megan and Gloria debunk common myths about suicide, including the idea that it’s selfish. Instead, they share how those struggling often feel like a burden and are yearning for hope, not death.
- Quote: “Most people who are struggling with suicidal ideation, they actually don't want to take their life; they're begging and hoping someone will see them and save them.” – Gloria (15:39)
- Importance of affirming the dignity and value of those around us, as discouragement and feeling unseen deeply impacts the soul.
4. Hope, Suffering, and the Christian Life
(29:13 – 55:55)
- The centrality of hope in the midst of suffering is explored—how Christians are called to hope in God, even when outcomes are uncertain or delayed.
- Quote: “God is not looking to make your life easier, but He is looking to make you holy.” – Gloria (02:28, also restated at 54:17)
- Discussion of biblical examples (David, Habakkuk) and metaphors (deer’s feet, buffalo through a storm) to illustrate perseverance and the necessity of enduring hardship.
5. Thinking and Faith: A Call to Critical Engagement
(40:21 – 46:09)
- Discussion of the value of thinking Christians—those who partner intellect with faith, wrestle with God, and don’t fear hard questions.
- Quote: “‘How do we help thinkers believe and how do we help believers think?’...You only learn to think when you tussle with God.” – Gloria (43:12)
- Encouragement for believers to pause, ask God honest questions, and seek understanding as part of spiritual growth.
6. Mental Health, Trends & Culture: Real Advocacy vs. Trendiness
(61:01 – 66:19)
- Megan observes a trend in culture where mental health is sometimes treated as a fad, with self-diagnosis running rampant.
- Gloria warns of the dangers of turning mental illness into a trend and stresses that for many, it’s not a choice but a reality born of crisis.
- Quote: “No one becomes a mental health advocate by choice. Crisis makes one out of us.” – Gloria (63:26)
- The prevalence of suicide (900,000 annual deaths, one about every 40 seconds) highlights the need for genuine, sustained efforts—beyond trends or social media activism.
7. Obedience & Hope Booth: Practical Purpose in Action
(69:10 – 84:25)
- Gloria tells the founding story of Hope Booth, a mental health intervention that places interactive booths with messages of hope in public spaces (inspired by a dream and a clear word from God).
- Breakthrough moments, including miraculous fundraising and viral impact, underscore God’s faithfulness to obedience.
- Quote: “You have no idea what your yes—the magnitude of your yes.” – Megan (80:13)
- Stories of real lives saved and transformed through Hope Booth installations in cities around the world.
8. How Listeners Can Participate
- Become a monthly donor (“movement member”) to help fund Hope Booth installations, especially in high-need communities.
- Pray for the Hope Booth team, the people encountering the booths, and for continued protection and fruitfulness.
- Volunteer, especially if local to Atlanta, or connect organizations that can sponsor booths for schools and community centers.
- Links for supporting Hope Booth are to be provided in the show notes.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (w/ Timestamps)
- “God is not looking to make your life easier, but he is looking to make you holy.” – Gloria (02:28, 54:17)
- “My existence is essential in the plan of God, which means my nonexistence is essential in the plan of the enemy.” – Gloria (10:20)
- “Vulnerability sparks vulnerability.” – Gloria (15:13)
- “Most people who are struggling with suicidal ideation, they actually don't want to take their life; they're begging and hoping someone will see them and save them.” – Gloria (15:39)
- “He’s not going to move because of you—but you are invited into a story bigger than yourself.” – Gloria (17:29)
- “Everything may not be okay, but you will be.” – Gloria (38:11)
- “You can't find hope outside of struggle. Hope literally only comes through the passage of suffering.” – Gloria (39:21)
- “How do we help thinkers believe and how do we help believers think?” – Gloria (43:12)
- “No one becomes a mental health advocate by choice. Crisis makes one out of us.” – Gloria (63:26)
- “Every 40 seconds someone dies to suicide. Something is not adding up.” – Gloria (67:59)
- “You have no idea what your yes—the magnitude of your yes.” – Megan (80:13)
Important Timestamps
- 04:47 – Gloria’s early identity struggles and family background
- 10:20 – The essential nature of existence in God’s plan
- 15:13 – Life-changing moment at the youth gathering; vulnerability
- 18:20 – Myths and deeper realities about suicidal ideation
- 29:13 – The challenge of hope as a Christian; suffering as a teacher
- 40:21 – The necessity of being a thinking Christian; critical engagement
- 54:17 – Christianity, suffering, and the misconception that following Jesus means an easier life
- 61:01 – Mental health as a cultural trend and its pitfalls
- 69:10 – The Hope Booth origin story and practical testimony
- 82:22 – Final encouragement toward obedient living and participation in God’s work
- 84:25 – Ways to support Hope Booth
Episode Tone & Takeaways
The conversation is deeply honest, raw, and life-giving. Both Megan and Gloria combine authenticity and theological depth, balancing vulnerability with practical encouragement. The tone is faith-anchored but never dismissive of the very real pain listeners may carry. Especially for Christians (and anyone wrestling with mental health or searching for purpose), this is a gentle but clear invitation to hope, to endure, and to obediently partner with God in bringing light to dark places.
Resources & How to Support
- Hope Booth Movement: Become a donor, volunteer, or corporate sponsor. See links in podcast description for details.
- Follow Gloria Umanah & Hope Booth: Instagram and web links provided by Megan.
- Pray: For the Hope Booth team, those struggling with mental health, and for wisdom and courage to be part of what God is doing.
“If you are hearing this, don’t just be a bystander—be a participant in what God is doing. There is great fruit on the other side of obedience.” – Megan Ashley (80:11)
End of Summary