EP 99: Your Existence is Essential: Finding Your Purpose Through the Pain

Summary

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Podcast Summary: In Totality with Megan Ashley - EP 99: "Your Existence is Essential: Finding Your Purpose Through the Pain"

Date: December 2, 2025
Host: Megan Ashley
Guest: Gloria Umanah (Founder of Hope Booth)

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Episode Overview

In this powerful and vulnerability-filled episode, Megan Ashley sits down with Gloria Umanah to discuss mental health, the battle with suicidal ideations, and the profound journey of finding purpose amidst pain. Both women share deeply personal stories about identity, suffering, and the hope that anchors them in their faith. Gloria unpacks her journey as a Nigerian-American, a pastor's kid, and now as the founder of Hope Booth—a creative mental health intervention bringing hope to those struggling with suicidal thoughts. The conversation offers rich insight into mental health in Christian culture, practical theology about suffering, and the necessity of hope and active obedience.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Gloria’s Story: Identity, Pain, and Encountering God

(04:47 – 17:34)

• Gloria shares candidly about growing up in a Nigerian-American home, feeling the weight of being a pastor’s kid, and the early identity crises she experienced—especially after learning in 4th grade that her father was her stepdad.
• Recounts her struggles with rejection and abandonment and their deep roots in her life, leading to a severe mental health crisis in high school.
• She describes her lowest moment, planning to end her life, and the miraculous intervention during a youth service—the exact day she considers her “life anniversary.”
• Quote: “It is a sheer miracle that I’m here. I shouldn’t be here.” – Gloria (02:20)
• Quote: “Vulnerability sparks vulnerability.” – Gloria (15:13)
• Notes how seeing others struggle at the event gave her courage to admit her own pain, highlighting the importance of community.

2. The Essential Nature of Your Existence

(10:20 – 17:34)

• Gloria unpacks the spiritual reality that one’s existence is essential to God’s plan—and, inversely, that the enemy also wages war to prevent that purpose.
• Quote: “My existence is essential in the plan of God, which means my non-existence is essential in the plan of the enemy.” – Gloria (10:20)
• Both women reflect on the generational presence of seeds of pain, rejection, and the enemy’s intention to destroy even before birth.

3. Misconceptions About Suicidal Ideation

(18:20 – 24:10)

• Megan and Gloria debunk common myths about suicide, including the idea that it’s selfish. Instead, they share how those struggling often feel like a burden and are yearning for hope, not death.
• Quote: “Most people who are struggling with suicidal ideation, they actually don't want to take their life; they're begging and hoping someone will see them and save them.” – Gloria (15:39)
• Importance of affirming the dignity and value of those around us, as discouragement and feeling unseen deeply impacts the soul.

4. Hope, Suffering, and the Christian Life

(29:13 – 55:55)

• The centrality of hope in the midst of suffering is explored—how Christians are called to hope in God, even when outcomes are uncertain or delayed.
• Quote: “God is not looking to make your life easier, but He is looking to make you holy.” – Gloria (02:28, also restated at 54:17)
• Discussion of biblical examples (David, Habakkuk) and metaphors (deer’s feet, buffalo through a storm) to illustrate perseverance and the necessity of enduring hardship.

5. Thinking and Faith: A Call to Critical Engagement

(40:21 – 46:09)

• Discussion of the value of thinking Christians—those who partner intellect with faith, wrestle with God, and don’t fear hard questions.
• Quote: “‘How do we help thinkers believe and how do we help believers think?’...You only learn to think when you tussle with God.” – Gloria (43:12)
• Encouragement for believers to pause, ask God honest questions, and seek understanding as part of spiritual growth.

6. Mental Health, Trends & Culture: Real Advocacy vs. Trendiness

(61:01 – 66:19)

• Megan observes a trend in culture where mental health is sometimes treated as a fad, with self-diagnosis running rampant.
• Gloria warns of the dangers of turning mental illness into a trend and stresses that for many, it’s not a choice but a reality born of crisis.
• Quote: “No one becomes a mental health advocate by choice. Crisis makes one out of us.” – Gloria (63:26)
• The prevalence of suicide (900,000 annual deaths, one about every 40 seconds) highlights the need for genuine, sustained efforts—beyond trends or social media activism.

7. Obedience & Hope Booth: Practical Purpose in Action

(69:10 – 84:25)

• Gloria tells the founding story of Hope Booth, a mental health intervention that places interactive booths with messages of hope in public spaces (inspired by a dream and a clear word from God).
• Breakthrough moments, including miraculous fundraising and viral impact, underscore God’s faithfulness to obedience.
• Quote: “You have no idea what your yes—the magnitude of your yes.” – Megan (80:13)
• Stories of real lives saved and transformed through Hope Booth installations in cities around the world.

8. How Listeners Can Participate

• Become a monthly donor (“movement member”) to help fund Hope Booth installations, especially in high-need communities.
• Pray for the Hope Booth team, the people encountering the booths, and for continued protection and fruitfulness.
• Volunteer, especially if local to Atlanta, or connect organizations that can sponsor booths for schools and community centers.
• Links for supporting Hope Booth are to be provided in the show notes.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (w/ Timestamps)

• “God is not looking to make your life easier, but he is looking to make you holy.” – Gloria (02:28, 54:17)
• “My existence is essential in the plan of God, which means my nonexistence is essential in the plan of the enemy.” – Gloria (10:20)
• “Vulnerability sparks vulnerability.” – Gloria (15:13)
• “Most people who are struggling with suicidal ideation, they actually don't want to take their life; they're begging and hoping someone will see them and save them.” – Gloria (15:39)
• “He’s not going to move because of you—but you are invited into a story bigger than yourself.” – Gloria (17:29)
• “Everything may not be okay, but you will be.” – Gloria (38:11)
• “You can't find hope outside of struggle. Hope literally only comes through the passage of suffering.” – Gloria (39:21)
• “How do we help thinkers believe and how do we help believers think?” – Gloria (43:12)
• “No one becomes a mental health advocate by choice. Crisis makes one out of us.” – Gloria (63:26)
• “Every 40 seconds someone dies to suicide. Something is not adding up.” – Gloria (67:59)
• “You have no idea what your yes—the magnitude of your yes.” – Megan (80:13)

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Important Timestamps

• 04:47 – Gloria’s early identity struggles and family background
• 10:20 – The essential nature of existence in God’s plan
• 15:13 – Life-changing moment at the youth gathering; vulnerability
• 18:20 – Myths and deeper realities about suicidal ideation
• 29:13 – The challenge of hope as a Christian; suffering as a teacher
• 40:21 – The necessity of being a thinking Christian; critical engagement
• 54:17 – Christianity, suffering, and the misconception that following Jesus means an easier life
• 61:01 – Mental health as a cultural trend and its pitfalls
• 69:10 – The Hope Booth origin story and practical testimony
• 82:22 – Final encouragement toward obedient living and participation in God’s work
• 84:25 – Ways to support Hope Booth

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Episode Tone & Takeaways

The conversation is deeply honest, raw, and life-giving. Both Megan and Gloria combine authenticity and theological depth, balancing vulnerability with practical encouragement. The tone is faith-anchored but never dismissive of the very real pain listeners may carry. Especially for Christians (and anyone wrestling with mental health or searching for purpose), this is a gentle but clear invitation to hope, to endure, and to obediently partner with God in bringing light to dark places.

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Resources & How to Support

• Hope Booth Movement: Become a donor, volunteer, or corporate sponsor. See links in podcast description for details.
• Follow Gloria Umanah & Hope Booth: Instagram and web links provided by Megan.
• Pray: For the Hope Booth team, those struggling with mental health, and for wisdom and courage to be part of what God is doing.

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“If you are hearing this, don’t just be a bystander—be a participant in what God is doing. There is great fruit on the other side of obedience.” – Megan Ashley (80:11)

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End of Summary

Transcript

[A]

Quick Choose a meal deal with McValue.

[B]

The five dollar McChicken meal deal, the.

[A]

$6 McDouble meal deal, or the new.

[B]

$7 Daily Double meal deal, each with.

[A]

Its own small fries, drink and four piece of McNuggets.

[B]

There's actually no rush. I'm just excited for McDonald's for a limited time only.

[A]

Prices and participation may vary. Not valver McDelivery what's up fam? Listen, if you've been blessed by In Totality the podcast, then I want to personally invite you to go deeper by joining our Patreon community called the Village. Every Tuesday morning, the Village members get early access to the full episod podcast two days before it drops publicly on YouTube. So while everyone else is waiting, you're already soaking it in. But that's just the beginning. As a Village member, you get exclusive access to the In Totality docu series. It's a behind the scenes look at how I walk on my faith in real life. No filters, no fluff. Just real moments of me trusting the Lord, processing life and growing in truth. We also do live book club club zoom calls where we read and grow together in the Word. I'm not just talking at you worth walking through it together, asking questions, wrestling through scriptures, learning to follow Christ more fully. You know, like that Romans 12. You'll also get bonus content, extra conversations with podcast guests that go even deeper, plus moments that didn't make it to the episode but were just too good not to share. And one more thing. When you join the Village, you get first access to merch before it drops public. So if you love the message and you want to rep the movement, you'll get first dibs every time. But more than the content, the Village is about community. It's a safe place for believers to connect and grow and be reminded that you're not doing this walk alone. You're a part of something real. We're building something special and we would love for you to be a part. So hit pause, go to www.patreon.com Megan Ashley and join today and I'll meet you there.

[B]

I hated life in every capacity. It is a sheer miracle that I'm here. I shouldn't be here.

[A]

God is not looking to make your life easier, but he is looking to make you holy.

[B]

Where I am today is only because in a very certain period of my life, I asked God the hard questions and I'm waiting for an answer.

[A]

How do you perceive where we are? Culture, society, when it comes to mental.

[B]

Health stuff, every 40 seconds, someone dies to suicide. Something is not adding up. This is when I realized we created a solution for something bigger than I had in mind.

[A]

What's up, you guys? Welcome back to another episode of In Totality. I'm so excited. Per usual, I'm usually really excited when I have guests, because you know me, I'd rather talk to somebody than talk to myself. So I'm really excited today because I have a special guest who I've been really excited to talk about for some time now. We have similar stories, and we're going to talk all about all of that, but I'm really excited to introduce, for the first time on the In Totality podcast, Gloria Yumana.

[B]

You got it. Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here.

[A]

I'm so excited you're here.

[B]

Yes. No, I think this is going to be fun. I already.

[A]

No, it is.

[B]

The different routes that we're about to go, it's going to be great.

[A]

I'm really excited here. But so we met this year. It was earlier in the year, I want to say, right.

[B]

Like in the summer.

[A]

Was it in the. This year has been the longest decade.

[B]

All I know is we were in Ohio.

[A]

Yeah, we were in Ohio. And my friend Jackie was speaking. Toni, our mutual friend, was speaking. And that's when I met you. And I was like. Immediately, I was like, I have to have her on the pod. I want to talk about all the things because you are the founder of Hope booth. And so I'm so excited to talk about all of that, but I want to just give you space to kind of share who you are with our In Totality family. If they haven't met you or seen you, which they should, they need to know who you are. So tell us about Gloria. Okay.

[B]

Gloria is a lot of different things, but I think most importantly, growing up in Nigerian American household comes with a lot of different things. So I had four sisters growing up, living in the same home, living with my stepdad, who I thought was my real dad my whole life, up until one random day where I told my sisters that they were supposed to tell me the dad story. And they were like, mom told you that? And I was like, yeah. And so they were like, oh, well, that's. That's actually your stepdad. And that opened a can of worms in regards to, like, my identity of trying to figure out, like, who I am. Why did someone who was so pivotal to my life leave before I was even born? Is there an element of me that's broken? Is there an Element of me that's not worth staying. And so through navigating a lot of identity crisis very early on in life, I was also a pastor's kid on top of that, which is an added weight, an added pressure that's thrown on you living in the US Where, I mean, my first name is Ivan Gloria. So, like, at school, my teacher would call me Fiddle D. Fiddle Dumb, which is crazy.

[A]

No, wild work.

[B]

Wild, wild work. And so these are all the layers of false identities and confusing identities that I grew up with, only to later realize at the bare bones, I am a daughter. And that alone was enough for me. I didn't find it in the things I could do, my successes, you know, growing up, I did a lot of acting. I didn't find it in that. In sports. And so I think the Lord consistently has allowed me to find my identity in the wrong places. So that the time that I found it, it was very clear that it could only actually be found in him. And that was the only solid rock. So growing up got to do a lot of really incredible things. Got to become a spoken word artist, traveled around the world. Getting to do that. Preaching the gosp around the world, which I love, which is how we met.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Getting to do that as well. And then now leading the hope booth, which is my greatest joy and honor. Mental health suicide prevention nonprofit, where our whole goal is to make hope and help free and accessible for people and really trying to innovate a new way for people to experience hope outside of the four corners of a church. And so it's been a wild journey. Every day is something different, something unique. But I'm just honored for where God has me.

[A]

I know. Yeah. I want to go back to when you were a little girl and you found out that your dad was your stepdad.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How old were you when that happened?

[B]

I was in the fourth grade.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I was in the fourth grade. My mom always told me. She was like, I'm gonna tell you the dad story. But she, like, never would elaborate. And I was like. She would just say, I'm gonna tell it to you. So when I was like, I'm tired of this woman telling me this. So I go to my older sisters, and I said, mom said y' all could tell me. And they were like, are you sure? I was like, yeah. She said, you could. And they're like, oh, okay. And so they told me. And in that very moment, I, at first, was unbothered because I was like, oh, well, he's been great. Like, there's not an aspect of him that had me wondering or questioning or. It wasn't like I came to a revelatory moment where I'm like, oh, no wonder he treats me like this and not my younger sisters. I didn't have that moment exactly. But it wasn't until a little bit later where I believe the enemy allowed a seed to be planted that wasn't even dependent on my stepdad. But it was more so the questioning of my real father.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Why did he leave? Was I not worth anyone staying? So that's where rejection and abandonment entered into my story. And those are deep rooted strongholds. Deep, deep rooted. That had a hold on me for so long. And I couldn't pinpoint that that's what it was until maybe high school when I experience my deepest mental health crisis.

[A]

So mental health started for you. You feel like the seed was planted as a child, which I think for most of us who. All of us who deal with mental health stuff, I think, yeah. Because I. And I realized it's even having children. I remember earlier this year, and I've talked about this before, our church did a fast, a seven day fast. And I remember one day specifically as I was praying, the Lord wanted me to put an intention on praying for my children.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And. And he made it really clear that the enemy has been after them since the womb.

[B]

Hello.

[A]

So it's like, I think we think that the enemy starts attacking. Yeah. Later. Yeah. High school, middle school.

[B]

Aware of it at that point.

[A]

Exactly. But he's been after your life. Right. And I think about, I think about Herod in the Bible where, where he knew a king, a Jewish king was going to be born. So he goes and he's like, I'm going to kill all the babies to prevent Christ. So that tells us that Satan has an intention.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

On planting seeds to steal, kill and destroy. Right. Which is what he does even before a child even enters the womb. Right. Or as soon as the child enters the room. And so wound. And so I think that, I think that that's something to be said about how there's a seed that gets planted, but we may not be aware of the seed that gets planted until later on. Which I've seen that in my life, I'm sure. Again, like you said, you've seen it in your life. I can even see it in my children's life now. Being a mom, I'm like, oop, there goes the seed.

[B]

It makes me think about the fact I was thinking about this this morning. My existence is essential in the plan of God. Which means my non existence is essential in the plan of the enemy. That's good. So there is always a war, whether I know it or not. And before I even came into this world there was a war because the enemy was well aware that if this girl enters into the world, she's going to wreak havoc on my kingdom. And I wasn't aware of that plan until I would say high school. It was, it was in a whole year battle of crying myself to sleep every night. I didn't tell my parents anything, I didn't tell my family anything. I'm more of the reserved girl in our family. And if you want to know how I'm feeling, you're going to have to pry a little bit. Well now I'm going to tell you. But at that point, yeah, I wasn't going to tell you. It also felt like revealing the things I felt felt like a form of weakness. And I'm Nigerian, we're soldiers, like thick skin, like these are things we're all taught to believe. And then on top of that, being a pastor's kid as well, I have this lie in my mind that I should just be able to pray all of this away. And I prayed and prayed and prayed and it was like, why do I still feel this? And I had no words or language because mental health wasn't something that was widely talked about at that time. This was 2011. So this wasn't talked about at that time. I didn't have the tools, I didn't have the resources. All I know is I hated life in every capacity. And I'll never forget I saw my parents leave from very high earning careers. Our family had everything we could have ever wanted to being in full time ministry. And at this time this was not when honorariums was a thing, it was a love offering. We gonna pass a little basket around and you might get $100. Nothing crazy. And that was their full time jobs. And I, I always wondered how do they have more joy with less than we ever had?

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And so it piqued my interest, but I wasn't totally certain about this God because how could he allow me to cry myself to sleep for an entire year and not intervene in any capacity. And I remember praying this really small prayer one day. I said God, like if you're real, if you really are who you say you are. Mind you, I've been going to every Bible study, every Friday night, deliverance gathering, every Saturday, evangelism, all the things. But this is all kind of just a performance for me, because I knew this is what I was supposed to do. But it came to a moment where I had to know for certain. Are you for me? That's what I need to know. Are you for me? And I remember going to this gathering. It was a youth gathering, and I didn't want to go. My mom said I had to go. My mom's African. Against, yeah, that's not an option. So I show up, and that particular day, I packed with me everything I was going to use to end my life. And I prayed a prayer. I said, God, if you're real, would you encounter me? That's all I said. The worship gathering goes on. Nothing's happening. It's time for the message to begin. Nothing's happening. I'm like, oh, bet this guy hates me. He's not even real. Like, what am I talking about? So I remember getting up, walking to the back of the auditorium. I put my hand on the door, just about to open the door to walk out to go and end my life. And I'll never forget, the man's name is Jake Hamilton. He's a part of Jesus culture. He paused his message. He said, there's someone in this room who's getting ready to take their life. God wants to encounter you. And I remember thinking to myself in that moment, first of all, how do you know this? Like, there's no way that this is real. There's no way that this is possible. And then immediately, the thoughts that came to my mind is, you're a pastor's kid. People can't know that this is you. There's no way that they can know. And you know, anyone who's in that kind of crisis, predicament, you're already feeling a great weight of shame I couldn't add on myself. More shame of people now knowing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so I'm standing at the door contemplating, am I gonna leave? Am I gonna stay? Who am I gonna believe? What am I gonna believe? What is true, what is not? And he said, you know, I know right now the enemy is whispering to you that people are gonna think you're crazy. This is your opportunity to choose hope. And I remember being like, oh, gosh, now I have to make a decision. Now I have to make a decision. Before, the decision was easy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because God didn't exist in my head.

[A]

He didn't respond.

[B]

Now that I. Yeah, now that I see his clear response and intervention and answer to the prayer that I just literally, God, if you are real, would you encounter me? And I am seeing it manifested Right before my eyes. I now have to choose and make a deciding factor. And I'll never forget, he said, if that's you, on the count of three, I want you to put your hand up. I'm like, ain't no way that I'm doing that. So he starts counting. He gets to three. And I look around the room, and I'm stunned by the amount of hands that are in the air. I swore I thought it was gonna just be you. I was certain it would be me alone. So to see how many other people had the courage to raise their hand inspired courage for me in that moment. That's when I realized vulnerability sparks vulnerability. And I said, man, I don't want to live like this. And I realize most people who are struggling with suicidal ideation, they actually don't want to take their life.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They're actually begging and hoping and believing that somebody will say, yeah, see them and save them from this predicament that they're in.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'll never forget that day, which is also today.

[A]

I know. I was gonna say today is October 29th, and it is your life versary.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I usually. I was telling you in the kitchen that I don't ever tell people the day that I'm recording, but today is so significant and special for you because it is your life anniversary. Like, this is the day that all of that happened.

[B]

I shouldn't be here.

[A]

And that is crazy that the Lord orchestrated for us to have this conversation on this day.

[B]

No, it's. It's perfect. It's like, it is perfect to be able to testify of all that God has done. Like I tell people, it is a sheer miracle that I'm here. I shouldn't be here.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

2011 should have wiped me out. And then I thought about the fact, well, if I am here, I should be angry. I should be bitter. I should be hopeless. And yet I am the exact opposite, exact opposite of all of those things. Because of the goodness of God, I can't even take credit for where I am today, for who I am today. It is all because of him. And so now that I'm aware of the fight that has always existed that is connected to my existence, I've realized there are so many people's lives that are dependent on my yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And me saying yes to staying alive.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Me saying yes to leading Hope Booth. Me saying yes to all of these different things that God has led me to that has led other people to saying, I didn't know if I could live another Day. But then I heard that testimony.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

I encountered the whole booth. And I'm like, man, this is why I say we are essential. Our existence is essential in the plan of God. The plan of God is not dependent on me at all. He's gonna move how he wants to.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

But to know that we are invited into a story so much bigger than ourselves is the greatest honor.

[A]

Yeah. I always am in awe. Even when I pray. I'm just like, you know, God, you don't have to use me at all. Like, you don't. You actually don't have to use me. But what an honor it is that you invite me into this partnership.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

To advance the kingdom and to make your name known even bigger.

[B]

Or more.

[A]

Even if it's in a smaller way, but it's still just that participation is. It's humbling.

[B]

It's huge.

[A]

There's 8 billion people on the planet.

[B]

And God said, yeah, you, Megan, you're who I want to use to steward this.

[A]

Why would you think of who am I?

[B]

She would be mindful of me for sure. It's insane.

[A]

I want to go back to what you were saying, because I think, oh, man. When it comes to. When it comes to having suicidal ideations, it's obviously something that hits very personal to me, and it's something I struggled with from a young age. I think even just having the absence of a father, you know, my dad not being present, it plants seeds of what's wrong with me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, can I be loved? Is. Be it, like, how I am, the way I am? Is it because of something. A defect in me? You know, I think it causes a lot of questions. And I remember, even just as a younger person, having those questions of, like, what is life for? Why am I here? It wasn't as dark as. Like, I don't want to be here, but why am I here questioning. You know what? I'm just questioning my existence. Um. And then as I got older and life started to happen, it was like, okay, I don't. I don't need to be here.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This isn't beneficial to me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This isn't beneficial to people around me. I'm so messed up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I just don't. I don't want to do this anymore. It's exhausting. And I think what you said is so key because I think this is very misunderstood with people who struggle in this way. It's not so much that I want to die. Yeah. I want to live, but I don't want to live with the Existing stuff. I want to be, I want to have peace and live. But it seems like peace is hard to find. Do you find, like, as you do work, as you talk to people, as you are invested into this particular work, that people who struggle with mental health issues and especially specifically with suicide ideations, is that, that misunderstanding, like, do you see that people wildly misunderstand? Because I think there's a perception that suicide is selfish when I, when I actually think it kind of is the opposite. There is a selfishness, yes, because there's so much focus on inward me, me, me, me. But there is a. No, I think that people in my life would benefit greatly if I'm just not here.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Especially when you struggle with mental issues.

[B]

I mean, it's. Anyone who is in that predicament more than likely feels like a burden.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

To the entire planet. To everyone in their sphere.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Everyone they've come in contact with. And so I think one of the things that's tricky is come into this realization that one, I am not a burden, but two, I add value. And oftentimes people need their dignity affirmed by those around them. And so when their dignity is not being affirmed, you can't give me dignity because you're not my creator, but you can affirm my dignity. When someone's dignity is unaffirmed for so long, it begins to chip away at their soul. And I think about the difference between disappointment and discouragement. Disappointment is linked to a moment. It's feelings in a moment. But discouragement is a matter of the heart. It's a matter of the soul. And this is what happens to one's soul after so much disappointment, that discouragement begins to settle in to becoming how they feel at all times. It's a state of being. And the enemy would love for us to get into that state of being. Because that is when self condemnation comes in. This is in these moments where you're wondering, I'm downcast and I don't know how to get out of this predicament. And that's when people start to feel overcome. And if you can feel overcome, then you're already bound in a certain way because you're not willing to ask for help, you're not willing to reach out, because again, you already feel like a burden. You already, you don't want to put that pressure on anyone. And so I think one of the most important things is for us to affirm the dignity of those around us. We don't know what people are going through. We, people always say, often you have no idea what every single person's carrying. You have no idea what story someone's living in. You know, what they give you is not all that there is. There's so much more to each person's story. And more times than not, there's people who I have met who have said to me, I asked God, if my life matters, send someone who will tell me today, today. And I don't always know that when I'm preparing for a message. I don't always know that in everything I'm doing. But I'm saying, lord, what do I need to say? And this is why obedience matters so much. Even in my own story on October 29th, if Jake Hamilton had not obeyed the voice of God, I would not be here. Wow. Other than the grace of God, who would have intersected in my story in some other way. But I just think about how pivotal it is for us as believers even to listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit in every component. Because there's people he is trying to reach and encounter that need to be pulled out of a dark place. They need to be pulled out of that discouragement. And even David, he says many times, why my soul are you down downcast? I don't think he even understood.

[A]

No.

[B]

The fullness of the state of his soul.

[A]

I love that scripture.

[B]

He didn't even understand it. But then for him to have the audacity to speak to his soul and say. And say, put your hope in God.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That just shows you that hope is action oriented.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's not something I just think of in my head. It requires action. And that's why our team defines it as action oriented strength. That's fueled by the belief that though everything may not be okay right now, tomorrow will be better. And I have the power to be a part of that story. And that's the story that God's writing. It's a story of a better tomorrow. I don't know if that Tomorrow is in 24 hours or if that tomorrow is when I'm in heaven, but there is a better tomorrow that I can believe in and I can be a.

[A]

Part of that story. Oh, man, there's so much that you said. Guys, have you ever had one of those weeks where life starts moving way faster than your money does? Maybe it's groceries for the house, gas before a long workday, or a last minute gift for someone you love. Those moments are real and they never seem to wait for your next paycheck. Life doesn't happen bi weekly, so why should payday the Money you've already earned should be within reach. And with Earn in, it can be earnin is an app that lets you access your pay as you earn it up to $300 a day with a max of a thousand dollars between paydays. Just download the Earn an app, add your info, and you can start tapping into your pay as you work. You can even add an additional tip to help keep the app running for everyone. Any money you access plus any tips is automatically repaid from your next paycheck. And listen, this isn't a payday loan. You're accessing your money. There's no interest, no credit checks, and no mandatory fees. Tips are completely voluntary and if you ever need your funds faster, Earn an offers expedited transfers for a fee. But there's always a no cost option too. What I love the most is how practical it is. I think back to moments in my life where having access to what I had already earned would have made such a difference. Like unexpected bills or even wanting to just bless someone in the family by taking them out to dinner. Simple moments, real moments. And as someone who cares deeply about wellness, I appreciate resources that help reduce unnecessary stress and support a life of peace and good stewardship. Listen, it's your money and Earn in helps put it back in your hands, make it a part of your financial routine and join over 4 million customers who have made any day payday. Download Earn in today spelled E A R, N I N in the Google Play or Apple App Store. When you download the Earn in app, type in In Totality under Podcast when you sign up. It really helps the show. That's In Totality under Podcast. Earn in is a financial technology company, not a bank. Access limits are based on your earnings and risk factors. Standard cash out takes one to two business days and with no mandatory fees. Expedited transfer available for a fee. Tips are voluntary and don't affect the service available in selected states. Terms and restrictions apply. Visit Earnin.com for full details. Download Earn and Now and take control of your payday. All right guys, back to the conversation. Okay y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

Honestly, every single year I feel the pressure when it comes to holiday gifting. I want the gift to feel personal and meaningful, but not so over the top that it feels forced. And somehow I still find myself scrolling and searching second guessing cuz that's usually what I do. I'm so indecisive. But this year I'm not going to do that because aura Frames is the answer to every holiday gifting moment. Never struggle again to find the perfect holiday gift. One thing about me, I love giving gifts that carry memories, intention and love and aura. Frame makes that so easy. It's thoughtful without being complicated, it's beautiful without being excessive. And it actually feels like something the person will use and not tuck away somewhere. For me, it completely simplifies my holiday shopping because it checks all the boxes. Meaningful, high quality and personal. One of my favorite things is that you can preload photos before it ships, so the moment they open it, they're already seeing memories that matter. And you can keep adding photos from anywhere, anytime, which means the gift keeps growing long after the holidays. I also love that you can add a personalized message before it arrives. It makes the whole experience feel intentional and warm without having the stress over anything. So listen, don't wait. Win the holidays now with OR frames. For a limited time, save on the perfect gift by visiting or frames.com to get $35 off or as best selling carver matte frames named number one by wire cutter by using promo code totality at the checkout. That's a U R A frames.com promo code totality. This deal is exclusive to listeners and frames sell out fast. So order yours now and get it in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at the checkout. Terms and conditions apply. All right, guys, back to the conversation I want to dig into because I two things. One, I think I am learning and observing a lot that part of Satan's strategy is to get us to be hopeless.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I. And I also want to acknowledge that for the Christian, it is scary to hope. It's so. I don't think we realize how, like, if I, if I were to stop and think truly and reflect, it's like, do I really have hope in God? Do you know what I'm saying? Like, I have faith. I believe.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I believe that God sent his only son to die on the cross. He lived a sinless life, born of a virgin, lived a sinless life, died on the cross, was buried, Ra rose from the dead and he's coming back 100%. Have faith in that. Yeah. But when you start asking me about my hope, when you, when you start asking me, do I hope? Like, do I hope in God? Do I have a. Because when you and I, I. The only thing that I can like really point this to is the struggle that I've had with my mental health and my son having two incurable diagnosis. And it's like when you're faced with that, do you still have hope? That he can do what seems impossible.

[B]

Impossible.

[A]

And can you still hope in him when he tells you no?

[B]

Exactly. Because it's not guaranteed.

[A]

Because it's not guaranteed. But I think what you said is key. It's having this accurate knowledge that again, whether God heals Caleb tomorrow, next week, I have got to white knuckle the fact that there is going to come a day where he's going to wipe away every tear. There will be no more autism. There will be no more fragile X. All right, guys, the countdown is officially on. Holiday shopping season is here. Uncommon Goods takes the stress out of gifting with thousands of unique, high quality finds you won't see anywhere else. And listen, if you're anything like me, every year you tell yourself you're gonna start your shopping early and then suddenly it's mid December and you're panicking. That's me. Every year, the most meaningful gifts you can scoop up fast. And now's the perfect time to cross names off your list. What I love about Uncommon Goods is how personal everything feels. They feature products that are high quality, unique, and often handmade or from the US you can tell so many of these pieces are crafted with care. Whether it's by independent artists or small businesses, every gift has a special one of a kind touch. One of my absolute favorites from Uncommon Goods is their personal handwritten letter blanket. You can upload a message in your own handwriting and it's printed right onto a cozy soft blanket. I've actually planned on gifting some of my guests who've joined me right here on the podcast as my way of saying thank you and reminding them of their stories and how much they matter. It's so thoughtful and personal, the kind of gift people will remember. Uncommon Goods has something for everyone, whether it's parents, teens, book lovers, history buffs, sports fans, foodies, or anyone who loves a little something unique. There are thousands of gifts you won't see anywhere else. When you shop at Uncommon Goods, you're supporting artists and small independent businesses. Many of their handcrafted products are made in small batches, so. So shop now before they sell out this holiday season. And with every purchase you make at Uncommon Goods, they give back a dollar to a nonprofit partner of your choice. They've donated more than $3.1 million to date. So listen, don't wait. Cross those names off your list before the rush happens. To get 15% off your next gift, go to UncommonGoods.com totality that's Uncommon Goods.com sltotality for 15% off Uncommon Goods were all out of ordinary. What's up, you guys? This episode is sponsored by Better Help. You know, as the seasons start to change and the days get darker a little earlier, it can really shift the way we feel sometimes more than we realize. This time of year can be beautiful, but it can also be heavy. The energy slows down, people get busier, and it's easy to feel a little disconnected from the people we love or even from ourselves. That's why I've been trying to be more intention about reaching out, which I'm not the best at. But I'm trying to be better at sending texts, scheduling lunch, or even checking in on a friend I haven't talked to in a while. Because staying connected really does matter. We're healthier when we are supported, when we have community, and when we remember that we're not in this alone. And honestly, the same way it takes courage to reach out to someone you care about, it can also take that same kind of courage to reach out for therapy, too. But once you do, you usually end up thinking, why didn't I do this sooner? BetterHelp is a great place to start if you've been thinking about talking to someone. Their therapists are fully licensed in the US and work according to strict code of conduct. What I Love is that BetterHelp does the matching work for you. You can fill out a short questionnaire about your needs and preferences, and their 12 plus years of experience means that they usually get it right the first time. If you ever feel like your first match isn't quite the right fit for you, you can easily switch right from their tailored recommendations. With over 30,000 therapists and more than 5 million people served worldwide, it's one of the largest online therapy platforms and it honestly really works. The average session ratings is 4.9 out of 5 from over 1.7 million client reviews this month. Don't wait to reach out. Whether you're checking in on a friend or reaching out to a therapist yourself, better help makes it easier to take the first step. Our listeners get 10% off their first [e-mail] totality. That's BetterHelp hp.com totality all right, guys, back to the conversation. There will be no more enduring. There will be no more suffering. There will be no more hope. Y I won't even have to hope.

[B]

There will be no need.

[A]

There'll be no need for it. Everything will be complete and perfect. And I think. I think for the Christian right, that is the thing that we have to constantly like My hope is in that. Yeah, not so much that I believe that you'll do it tomorrow. Tomorrow. But even if you don't do it tomorrow, that you will do it one day.

[B]

You will say it is finished.

[A]

You will.

[B]

You will say it again.

[A]

And I think that's the hope that we have to constantly put in the forefront of our minds. Is that is what my hope is in. And I think sometimes that can be hard because it's like, yeah, I. I unders. I might have an understanding of that.

[B]

But I live here in the here and now.

[A]

And here hurts.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

What's up, you guys? Listen, Go right now to themeganashley.shop. we have brand new merch. It's finally here. Listen, they've been selling out. I don't want you to miss the opportunity to get the new collection. This collection is our Romans 12 collection. It's about being completely and wholly devoted to the Lord. I pray that you get these pieces and it opens up opportunities for you to share your faith with someone who thinks, you know, your item is dope or whatever you get. We got hats. We got sweatsuits. We have nylon, zip ups and shorts. Listen, guys, this collection is literally my favorite. We put so much work, me and the team into this collection. We love it and we pray that you love it too. Listen, go now. Www.themganashley.shop. i don't want you to miss your opportunity to get this exclusive collection. Once it's gone, it's gone. It's not coming back. All right, guys, Love you. Back to the combination conversation.

[B]

And I will say I have for the last, like, year and a half been going through a crazy health battle. Like, absolutely insane. It is the thing I have prayed to God to free me from. And it doesn't ever seem like it's going to happen. And I realize I have a lot of hope for people, not a lot for people. Now when it comes to me, same, that's when I have to wonder. I'm like, is this hope real? Like, you know, and I think the Lord allowed me to go through the trenches of that health battle and still in the middle of it all to show me that help. My hope can't be dependent on my health. My health may fail me. David even says, my health may fail me, but you are the strength of my life. Like, help me, Lord, to believe that my hope is not dependent on my circumstance. And this is why I think it's so important to tell people everything may not be okay, but you will be.

[A]

You will be.

[B]

You Will be.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I can't guarantee that I will be healed here and now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I can't guarantee that in this lifetime I will see healing in the way that my brain perceives it to be. But I know that my soul is being healed and I know that my soul is whole.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that's. That's. It's a hard thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To grapple, Especially when it comes to health.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When it comes to things like autism, when it comes to all of these different factors that feel like they affect you deeply and they affect everyone around you, and it can be so weighing on your mental health. On top of that, I have to choose to believe, even when I don't see it, that it is still possible for God to do it. That's my hope, is that it's possible. Even if he doesn't do it, it's possible. I have to believe that it's possible and live every day.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like that. And that can be very challenging because it's quite opposite of what our natural state is.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

For me, I speak what I see, I speak what I feel. If it's not there, it's not happening. I'm a very matter of fact kind of person. And God's like, that's not how my kingdom works.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So that's not how the kingdom of God works. You're gonna have to learn to hope. And you can't find hope outside of struggle. You can't find it outside of suffering.

[A]

That's a fact.

[B]

And I've realized in this time, you know, through all of this, I've learned more than anything that hope literally only comes through the passage of suffering. There's no other way to access it. Why would you need it for sure if you didn't?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If you didn't. And so, I mean, even seeing how God uses all things, even for the strengthening of my hope, helping myself to reframe my thinking, reframe how I see him, reframe how I see myself, how I see the world.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That has. That's been what has helped me. Because this world has not gotten better, has not gotten easier. It's not getting brighter. No, absolutely getting worse in every capacity. And yet somehow we have hope that is beyond us.

[A]

I was listening to a Tim Keller sermon, I think it was yesterday, and he said something so, like, simple but profound. And he was just like, to be a Christian, you have to be a thinking Christian. You know what I mean? Like, you have to. The second I stop hoping is because I've stopped thinking.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I Have to think on. Because if I. If I'm. If I'm governed by my emotions, if I let my emotions govern my life, can control my life. Lord over my life, I'm gonna. It's a wrap. You know what I'm saying? I'm gonna lose all hope if I. If I'm just an emotional, emotionally charged person all the time. But it's something to be said about, like. And I. I guess I'm just saying this because I feel like I'm watching so many Christians be emotional.

[B]

Yes. Yes.

[A]

And not thinking. Like, yes. Because critical thinking.

[B]

I mean, golly, sit down and think.

[A]

Just think for a second. And I. And. And this has been pivotal for me because the more I started thinking, like the minute the. When I gave the Lord a serious yes on this porch, I was plagued with suicidal thoughts.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Self harm. Wanted to. Didn't want to live. Thought about dying every day, you know, All. All the time. All the time. All day, every day, every night.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Consuming my thoughts. And when the Lord, in His kindness revealed to me Himself, like when he was. When his love and presence was so manifested in that moment to me. Yeah. It was like from that day on, I started thinking more about Him. And if I take inventory of that time on the porch, to this day, I don't think life has gotten any easier.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Truly. It's been different types of suffering. It's been different levels of pain, different levels of betrayal, different levels of hardship. It's still been hard. Yeah. But the difference is, is I've thought more about him. I've thought more like I've.

[B]

Your gaze.

[A]

My gaze have shifted. My eyes have been, like, focused on Him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And my thoughts, when I start to drift and the discouragement wants to settle in, I've developed this discipline to think. And I think even if we did, if we just practice thinking, not ignoring the feelings, because I think that that's not healthy. And I don't think the Lord wants us to ignore our feelings. He created us with emotion, so I think that's important. But he also created us with a brain.

[B]

That part.

[A]

And I feel like right now we're living in this space of Christianity where it's like y' all are forgetting that. That the. The Lord in His sovereignty gave you a thinking brain.

[B]

Yes. One of the things we talk about on our team often is how do we help thinkers believe and how do we help believers think?

[A]

That's good.

[B]

Because we see so often there are unbelievers who are such strong, think they have thought through things. Only to realize faith does not come through thinking. And so how do we help them believe? Then there are believers who don't know how to think. Well, don't know how to ask the right questions. But I'm realizing they don't tussle with God. You know, you only learn to think when you tussle with God. And I even think about the Gospel of Luke. It opens up by saying, I have investigated the faith. How many believers don't investigate? They don't investigate the faith. And so I think it's an invitation. Thinking may be a natural response for some people, but it can be very unnatural for those maybe who are raised up in the church who weren't taught to think.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I oftentimes realize in my own life that where I am today is only because in a very certain period of my life, I ask God the hard questions.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm waiting for an answer.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm gonna find that answer. It reminds me, it's to the glory to conceal a matter. It's to the honor of kings to search it out. We have to be willing to search it out. We have to be willing to dig. We have to be willing to ask hard questions, wrestle with God, sit there on the days that are hard, and not try to sugarcoat it with a cute little answer. But like God, this is hard. Help me to understand.

[A]

Yeah. Why.

[B]

Yeah, why is an okay question.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And he may reveal to you why, but he may not as well. But you will know more of his character.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You will know more of who he is. And that's the goal at the end of the day. And I think, think if believers can be more committed to learning how to pause and realize. And even in prayer, I don't always have to speak. I actually can just be quiet. And he will start to download even unto me. Things to ponder on, things to wonder, things to ask greater questions.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It builds intimacy.

[A]

It does.

[B]

It builds so much. You only. You only ask a lot of questions.

[A]

To people you want to know.

[B]

Yes, exactly. People you want to know and you want to develop intimacy with. And I think that's a. The safe thing to do with God. He's the safest one to ask, correct all of these questions. My crazy list of questions that I would never dare ask on this microphone. I will ask it to him because he's a safe place to ask questions.

[A]

I think that that's just so key right now, is to not abandon thinking because you believe, but it's to partner your. Your brain with your Faith and say, I'm going to be an. I'm going to be a faithful, active believer. Like, I'm gonna think through things. And I think what you said is so key. Like, sit with the Lord and ask questions. Yeah, sit with the text and ask questions. Don't sanctify every thought that comes to your mind. Don't look at a scripture and be like, yep, that's what that means.

[B]

That'll do it.

[A]

That's it. You know what I mean? Like, no, ask. Ask the text question. Ask the Lord questions. Sit with him. Wrestle with. With your thoughts and with. You know what I mean? I think that that's healthy intimacy and.

[B]

Being okay with not having an answer.

[A]

Correct.

[B]

I think sometimes it can be very difficult when you feel like you can't find the answer to the question your soul desperately desires. But I realize, even in. Even in moments like that, God will give me the answer honestly years later, many years later, through a lived experience. And in hindsight, I'll be like, oh, I could have only learned this through this experience. Experience. This is not something he would have. Just audibly. He could have. This is not something he wanted to teach me just by audibly telling me. And that's the thing God's inviting us into experiencing Him. Experiencing him. There's some things you can't learn just from reading alone. You have to ask his Holy Spirit to breathe life on that thing. And a lot of times, breathing life on it looks like trials and tribulations. It looks like suffering. It looks like hopeless nights. It looks like crying ourselves to sleep, where we then are entered into this relationship, this beautiful revelation of who he is and the fullness of who he is.

[A]

Yeah, I think. And I think it's come. It can come in doses, too. Answers don't come. Like I've learned in my relationship with the Lord. He doesn't give me the fullness of the answer. Sometimes it's either no answer at all. Yeah. Or it's like, I'm gonna give you part of this. I'm gonna give you a little bit here, a glimpse, and then I'm gonna give you. Or. Or he may not give me an answer, but he may give me a direction. Yeah, I may not give you an answer, but go do this. And then once you do that, okay, now go do this. You know what I'm saying? And so being open to. And I think again, I have to con. Gloria when I tell you I have to constantly, constantly remind myself and remind my heart and remind my soul who God is. Because if I lose sight of the nature of God, of his character. Then the enemy can easily. Oh, my good. What? Yeah. But I have to cut. So, like, especially in suffering, especially in times where I'm even in despair, like, not that long ago, a couple weeks ago, I was past discouraged. We have moved past discouraged. No, I am fully in despair. Yeah. I am. I mean, I am struggling.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I. I felt like. And I was so. I was so in despair that I wasn't even asking God to get me out of it. Like, I'm just like, I'm here now.

[B]

It is what it is.

[A]

I'm like, well, I'm here. So it's just like, whatever. I don't even. I'm here now. But I felt like, even in God's kindness, like, I wasn't asking him to get out of me. Maybe my soul was asked. Maybe my heart was crying out for me to be relieved of this. And I wasn't humble enough to ask, but I feel like God was constantly just like me. You have to remember who I am. Yeah. I am not petty. I am not a manipulator.

[B]

Not dangling a carrot.

[A]

I am not. I'm not. I'm not an abuser.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I am not mean. I am not abusive. I am perfect. Yeah. Holy, sovereign, good, kind, merciful, compassionate, loving. Like, I have to constantly put that in the forefront of my mind. Yeah. Because if I allow my circumstances to tell me who God is, I'm gonna be.

[B]

You'll be done.

[A]

I'll be done.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But if I keep an accurate view of who he is in light of my circumstances, then that tells me that, okay, God doesn't have me in this season, in this trial, in this suffering to punish me. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, absolutely. One of the things that's helped me significantly. Habakkuk 3 is so beautiful, where the author says, enable my feet to tread like a deer. Enable my feet to tread like a deer. And I started researching deer in general because I'm like, what? We keep talking about. Deer, deer. Panting like deer doing so much. And in the research I did with one of my friends, we were learning about how high places and mountaintops many animals attempt to go but cannot make it up there because of the terrain. It's too rough. But deer have a certain type of hook within their foot that enables them to tread on these high places. And not just tread, but they prance up there as well. And so when I. When I read Habakkuk 3 and I see the beauty of the prayer, enable my feet to tread on high Places like that of a deer. It's not just saying like, lord, help me in hard moments, but help me to dance in the face of death. Help me to dance when it looks like I should be overcome and full of despair. And so I do a very practical thing when I'm feeling extremely overcome and I'm like, man, God, you could have gotten me out of this in a whole nother way. I take my shoes off and I look at my feet and I say, lord, I know that you are making my feet like that of a deer. Help me to see it. And he who started a good work is faithful to complete it. But I have to be a part of the process. And I have to say yes. And it reminds me so much of this story I heard about buffaloes. Buffaloes are known to be the animals that run through storms, while every other animal, if a storm comes in a certain terrain, they're known to run away from it. It actually elongates their time that they're in the storm, but the buffalo runs straight through it. And it shortens their time in the storm because they don't try to avoid it. They don't try to go around it. They go straight through. And it, I think it just speaks to the reality that life is going to be messy. Yeah, it is going to be hard. It's going to be tough. They're going to be things we do not fully understand. But I cannot escape. Jesus is not my escape mechanism. He just enables me as I go through.

[A]

That's good.

[B]

And just the reality that sometimes the only way over and the only way out is through is literally through. Yeah. So we can learn a lot from the buffalo. We can learn a lot from the deer. There's a lot of animals that I feel like we can learn a lot from. And God's trying to do something so much bigger than just make life easier. I was talking to a friend. She's not a believer yet, but she was like, do you feel like God has made your life easier? I said, baby girl, let me tell you. He's like, not easier is not the adjective that I would use to describe this life. He has not made my life easier. In fact, maybe has made my life harder. Harder, potentially has made my life harder. But you know what he has done? He's made me better more than anything. And I realized God is so much more concerned with me, my soul, the state of my being, the state of my existence, much more than my circumstance. That's so minuscule in the grand scheme. And so that helps Me to just lean in on the days that are hard where I'm like, I would rather not. We wrap it all up and end this right here, right now. Keeping in hindsight. He's making me better. He's enabling me. My feet to tread. He is teaching me to be more like him. Help me to see that.

[A]

Yeah, that's beautiful. I think that's a misconception that I often see with believers. And right now we have so many new believers coming to the faith. Beautiful. It is. It's. It's a. It's a miraculous, beautiful thing to see.

[B]

But listen here.

[A]

At the same time. At the same time and Right. Yeah, we need healthy discipleship because I don't. I don't. There are so many people who have come into the faith. I'm guilty of it. Even as a young. When I was, you know, younger in the faith, I, you know, as a teenager, you think, well, you know, life should be easy because I'm in Christ. It should be easier. Why do I have to suffer in the same way the world is suffering if I'm in Christ? Like, I'm part of the kingdom. Yeah.

[B]

I'm.

[A]

You know what I'm saying? I'm part of a different family. I'm good. I should be fine. And I think that it is such a misconception that people have. Is like, once you're in Christ, suffering ends.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Hardship ends, trials in. And again, to your point, it's like God is not looking to make your life easier, but he is looking to make you holy. He's looking to make you like his son.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That is al. He is more consumed and worried about his glory more than.

[B]

Than your comfort, literally, if your comfort.

[A]

Doesn'T magnet magnify his glory.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But you're suffering in the way that he preserves you and the way that he. The way that he sustains you in the suffering gives him more glory. Then, sweetie, that's suffering.

[B]

It is, baby girl. Yeah.

[A]

That is just. That is what it is. And I think we also have to understand our role in this, that we're not the main characters at all.

[B]

We're just people of the fine print.

[A]

I mean, the finest of print. Do you understand? I mean, like the little tiny, barely.

[B]

There.

[A]

Literally, like, we are the fine print. He is the main character, and he is after his glory. He is after us to look like his son. That's it. And however he chooses to do that, I have learned to be like, amen. Yeah. However you choose to do it, to.

[B]

Even know that gives you proper Framework in hard moments is, Lord, you would only allow this if it brought you glory. And if it's going to bring you glory, then it's for my good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So help me to have proper view of who you are so I have proper view of the. Of every circumstance that I go through.

[A]

Yeah. No matter what.

[B]

No matter what. Because hard is coming. If it has not come, hard is coming. And if hard has come, harder is on its way.

[A]

Like, literally on its way. And we.

[B]

We have to have a proper biblical world view if we want to live long in this life and live holy in this life.

[A]

Because I think what we did, because I believe me and you were around the same age. I. I hope you're my age. I hope. Is it start with a three. Okay. Okay.

[B]

Release in the right bracket.

[A]

Okay. Okay. I was about to say, I was like, you like, girl, I am 23. I'm like, sorry. Okay. No. So we. So we. We grew up around the same times in. In Christian culture. And. And I think we lived in an area where it was like prosperity gospel. God wants to bless you. He works for you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Name it. Claim it. All that. Right. And what I think that we did not do a good job of what people before us didn't do the best job of was an accurate theology on suffering. And I think if we can do. Give people an accurate theology on suffering, I think that we would have more faithful Christians. Like, we wouldn't have so many people fall away. Yeah. If people actually knew how to suffer well.

[B]

And give up. I think it's a part of the work of counting the costs.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Of knowing the day I say yes to Jesus, I am being enlisted into something very intense.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

For him to tell us, put on your full armor. These are all, like military. Military battle, war type of terminology we see all throughout the text. So it's improper for us to assume or to teach that, oh, life's about to get, you know, really easy. Coastal coast. Coast what? Where? Coast where? Where? When? How?

[A]

I ain't seen it never once.

[B]

And so I think if we can properly teach people that Jesus is not coming to make your life easier. He's coming to make it better. And sometimes better requires surgery. Sometimes better requires war. Sometimes better requires tears. It requires a lot of things. I just broke my pinky, like, who knows, six, seven months ago, and I've been going to therapy for it. PT it has been so hard. All the stuff that they've been doing. And they'll do movements that cause a lot of pain, and they consistently remind Me. This is the only way to make it straight again. This is the only way for it to operate as it's meant to operate again. If you ever want to be healed in totality, you have to go through the pain.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm seeing it every day for the last six months. I'm like, who knew this little pinky would go through so much? But it's so pivotal, even in how I use my full hand. I can't use my hand to hold things. Things properly because of this one little finger.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it just reminds me of. We'll talk about the FBI a little bit. So FBI, CIA, they have this thing that they do where they send out a spy and they can change anything about a single person. But the one thing that is most recognizable about a person is the way that they walk. So what they will do is they will put an apparatus in the shoe of the spy so that it will change the way they walk. It's a small little thing that will pinch just a small little aspect of their toe. It's uncomfortable, but it will change the way that they walk. And I think that's exactly how the Holy Spirit functions in our life. He is an apparatus. He is there to change the way that I walk. And it hurts. It hurts. It's uncomfortable. It's gonna cause a lot of pain. You may actually never get used to it. You may never get used to that part. But this is not my home, so I don't have to get used to it. I don't have to get used to it. And I think just coming to this realization that God is doing a big and mighty work, and it requires our participation. It requires us leaning in and saying, okay, I don't wanna do this, but I'm going to do this because I believe you and trust you.

[A]

I believe that that takes great humility. And I think that that's something that we have to pray for, is like, lord, give me the humility to know my role and to know your role. And I think if we have the humility, even when it does hurt, will keep. Will keep walking.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Even when. Because in order to produce more fruit, there has to be a cutting.

[B]

Hello.

[A]

And I think sometimes people think, well, Lord, I'm doing the right things. Right. It's like, I got the podcast, I got the ministry. People are being blessed. Why are you letting me go through all this? Well, I want you to produce more fruit. And in order for you to produce more fruit, I gotta cut.

[B]

Everything that does not bear fruit will be cut off. Or cut back. Back. Cut off or cut back. But what's so beautiful about that? That means the vine dresser is right there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He can't cut back or cut off.

[A]

If he's over there. Yeah.

[B]

So at least I know his presence is with me. His presence is with me. And so even that. That is helpful in moments that feel, overcoming. Where the enemy tries to convince me, oh, you're alone.

[A]

How I can't be.

[B]

Explain to me how. Make it make sense. How I'm alone. I'm not alone. This goes back to critical thinking.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You have to. You have to be able to. To think.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

To know for certain. If I'm going through all of this, that means he's right here with me.

[A]

That's so good.

[B]

With me.

[A]

That's so good. I wanna. I wanna pivot a little bit and talk about. I wanted to get your perspective on where we are as a culture, where we are as, like, in society when it comes to mental health. Because it feels and seems as if it's kind of a trend.

[B]

Right.

[A]

We got people diagnosing themselves with autism. You know what I'm saying? People are like, I am. And you know. Yeah, I believe everybody's on the spectrum somewhere. I feel like if you really took it. No, I think we're all on the spectrum somewhere.

[B]

You're on a spectrum.

[A]

You're on a spectrum somewhere. I believe that I'd be looking at myself sometimes, like girls, you know.

[B]

No. If anyone knew how weird we really were.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. Like, if you were to observe me in the private times, you'd be like, girl, you're strange. I'm off with you. So I, I mean, so I say that lightly, but I do believe that we all. Somewhere on the spectrum. But anyway, we, We. We see a lot of glorifying our mental health issues. And so as someone who is in this field, who's. Who is actively helping people with their mental health, who is a mental health advocate, how do you perceive where we are, Culture, society, when it comes to mental health stuff? Because it seems as though people are using it as a crutch to not be accountable. Because some stuff is mental health. Some stuff is just like, all right, that ain't even mental health. Yeah, that shit just.

[B]

You're insane. Like, calm down.

[A]

You know what I'm saying? Like, there's just something wrong. Like, there's a lack of accountability. There's a lack of humility, There's a lack of ownership as far as, like, no, I messed up. Yeah. I made the decision to mess up. Yeah. So I just curious at what this has been like for you, living in this time and being an advocate, but also seeing how people are kind of taking advantage of that in a way.

[B]

It's an interesting climate. I will say. Even the concept of making mental health a trend, especially as those who have lived experience, there's nothing trendy about this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I have so many people ask me, well, how did you become a mental health advocate? Like, you think I chose this?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No one becomes a mental health advocate by choice.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Crisis makes one out of us. So for people who are choosing to make this trendy, we're realizing they will use a lot of verbiage that I know chatgpt gave you you. Which means there's very little wisdom.

[A]

Yikes.

[B]

And I think we're in a time in a period where there's a lot of information but there's not a lot of wisdom. There's not a lot of real tactile. This is what's going to help you get out of the hole that you're in. Because the hole is real.

[A]

Yeah, it is.

[B]

And it is here to consume people. 900000 people losing their life to suicide every year. Last year it was 800 000. The year before it was 700,000. Prayerfully next year it's not 1 million. And so it's. I think the problem is as I'm seeing more information and more up and coming experts via TikTok that decided overnight this is the, the niche that they want to dive into. I'm seeing more people are losing their life. So something is not adding up. Something is not adding up. And I think that is the beauty of where we get to sit as the whole booth, as our organization of people on our team with real lived experience but also partnering with experts who are committed to the work for the long haul. This is not something that can happen in a day or a week. And we talk about this all the time on our team. Everyone is running 5Ks and making T shirts. But we're not really doing anything to change the climate. We're not doing anything to bring about real change. And so it's not a trend. Unfortunately for some people it is. But in real life it's. It's not a trend. There are real people losing their life every single day. I know people personally. I was almost one of those people. And so because of that, I think think it. It causes our team to have a greater level of awareness of what's happening. But a Greater intentionality of how we are choosing to tackle this. It's not going to be in a trendy way. It's. It's going to be unique because that's who the father is. He's given us a really unique way to reach more people, and we've seen incredible stories come from it. But I do think it's going to take a rise of wisdom to really be elevated in this season in order for all of these. These people who are sharing things that are actually not even totally factual and that are actually damaging for people's mental health, damaging for their character development and making these excuses for the ways we live life. It's not a crutch. It's actually a tool that we're supposed to use to better ourselves. And if you're using it as a crutch, most people know where their error is. What you're doing is actually adding real mental health crisis onto your story.

[A]

Hello.

[B]

Because it compounded is going to. In essence, it's going to affect you deeper because you can only pretend for so long. It doesn't. It doesn't work long. You can only pretend for so long. You can only play this escape game for so long. You can only make excuses for yourself for so long. But at some point, it's going to catch up, and that's when you're going to really have mental health problems.

[A]

I love. I love what you said as far as, like, yeah, you're gonna add on to either your own mental health issues or someone else's. And I think that people need to start seeing that as a responsibility.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That, like, this isn't something to just capitalize off of. But there are real people. I didn't even know. 800,000.

[B]

9.

[A]

900,000 people lost their lives. 900,000. I can't even imagine.

[B]

Sons, daughters, mothers, fathers.

[A]

Kids, too. I know. I know. Kids. The statistic with children taking their life is climbing year by year.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so this is not a thing. And I think that for. And we were talking about this a little bit in. In the kitchen, that people who feel like I don't deal with mental health issues so they're. They lack empathy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

For that. But I think for the Christians and for everyone watching this, especially if you're a Christian, I think we have to think, like, when I hear 900,000, I'm just like, I can't imagine the grief the father feels because those individual people have families. Right. But, like, think about how deeply you love your family, how deeply you love your. Your mom, your Stepdad, your sisters, whoever in your family, how deeply you love them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And imagine losing them 900, 000 times, like, over. The father is losing.

[B]

Every 40 seconds someone dies to suicide. So I even think about all the time we've sat here and had this conversation, how many. How many people imagine how his heart is grieving, and we're over here fighting about all of the wrong things, all.

[A]

Of the wrong things, disagreeing over who did what, who said what, who didn't properly do this, who didn't properly do that, who denounced here, who did that there. It's like we are arguing over nothing. And here, the father. I know, I just. I'm a visual person. So in my mind, I'm just seeing all of the chaos and arguments. And meanwhile, the father is grieving, believing.

[B]

Praying, we get it, help them get it. And we're missing it, we're missing it, we're missing it.

[A]

But the hope is, is that we have people like you who are giving us access to participate in what God actually cares about, which is his people. And so tell us how we can help with Hope Booth. And because there are. How many do you have right now?

[B]

So we have live and installed right Now, I think 11.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Some last four years or so. We're on our 37th. Some are temporary. Some can stay longer as funding comes in. So that's kind of what helps dictate how long. One day.

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

So I think we're at our 11th one that's permanent in this very moment.

[A]

Okay. So tell us how we can participate. Tell us about Hope Booth, what it is, the vision behind us. And then tell it. Tell us how we can participate. Because I just think that this is one of the most important works that, like, people need to be seen. And I think what you. What you. What the Lord has done through you in this work is giving people the opportunity to know that He's Elroy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The God who sees. Right. And so, yeah, tell us all about it and how we can participate in helping.

[B]

Absolutely. It's my favorite thing to talk about. So I used to lead prior to 2020, a collective of creatives. And the whole heartbeating goal was, how do we illuminate the name of Jesus in creative ways? So we were on a lot of stages, at a lot of conferences, all of these great things. 2020 came. Everything was canceled, shut down. I remember praying and asking the Holy Spirit, what are we supposed to do? And he said, now is the time that we're going to pivot from the stage to the Streets, what does it look like to impact people where they are and using our creativity to do that? That. Because churches weren't even open.

[A]

There was.

[B]

There was no churches open. There was no conferences happening. So how do we illuminate the name of Jesus in street corners? During that time is when I heard the statistic about the average person living on the streets going three to six months without being looked in the eye. I remember reading that. I said, we got churches on every single corner and we gather every Sunday to talk about Elroy, the God who sees. And there are this many people who feel unseen. Then I started to read all of these statistics about all these different people who have been losing their life to suicide. I think at that time it was like the CFO of Bed Bath and Beyond. It was so many different people. And I'm like, oh, my goodness, what do we. What do we do? And I was like, what if we created like these solar powered, like ipods or something with messages of hope and we just throw them around in the city? It's like, well, that's not gonna work. Like, that'll get broken, lost, stolen.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm like, lord, what do we do? Do I go to sleep one night and in my dream, I. I had this dream where the Lord showed me a telephone booth and it was illuminated with light and I saw the words hope. I woke up and I was like, I think it's supposed to be a telephone booth. And the girl that I was working with at the time, she was like, what are you talking about? I said, honestly, I don't know. We'll see. 2025. I would always say 2025 is probably when we'll, like, really think about it because I don't know what I'm talking about. Yeah, like, I had a dream. I don't know what I'm saying.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And shortly after 2021 is when I told the team, the full team, everything, and they're like, where did you. Where did you get that from? I said, Honestly, again, 2025 sounds futuristic. We'll talk about it later. And then there was a unique opportunity where our organization was invited to London for this art expo. And I'm like, what will we be bringing? We're spoken word artists and like creative directors. And the Lord is like the whole booth. I said, oh. And so our team got together. We didn't know how we were going to make this thing. I asked my interns, I said, do you know any carpenters? I said, carpenters? I said, girl, I don't know I don't make anything. I don't. This is not. This is not what I do. Yeah. And so we ended up getting a crew of people. We made a prototype. We picked it up in London the day before going, wow. I'm sorry. We picked it up in New York the day before going to London. It's my first time even seeing it. So I'm hoping it all makes sense. I'm hoping it all works. We get to London. This is when I realized we created a solution for something bigger than I had in mind. We needed to film a promo video. So we were like, we told nobody. We didn't even tell our board. We were just doing stuff like. So we have the whole booth covered up with a cloth because we're trying to carry it, like a casket on our shoulders to the middle of London where we're gonna unveil it and do a little video thing. And we unveil it, and it was like the entire city stood still. Construction workers left from where they were working to come, and they're like, what is this? People start taking photos, and before you know it, people are in line. There's a long line to experience a whole booth. Wow. I hadn't even experienced it at this point. I was like, oh, okay. We see people in tears. We see people saying, man, I. I didn't know if I was gonna make it another day. I. I needed that. Wow. And that's when we realized, oh, we might have. We might have done something. Yeah. And so we posted it on the Internet for the first time. And the response was crazy. People were like, my goodness, we need this at the prison that I work at, or we need this at this children's hospital, or we need this in Scotland, and we need this in all these different places. I said, guys, talk to somebody else, because we have one. I don't know what to tell you. We have one. And that's all we got. And the Lord was like, do you trust me or not? I said, okay. So we had to do a quick little fundraiser to raise money to do a 30 day, 19 city tour across the country with the Hope booth. And I don't know how much time we have, but I'll quickly share this. No, you're good. We needed to raise $40,000 to pull it off. And so if you've ever done a crowdfunding campaign, you're gonna make, you're gonna raise the most amount in 24 hours. After that, it's going down. So you better get. Yeah, you better hit real close to the goal?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so day one, I think we raised, like, $3,000. I said, well, guys, I don't know what we're gonna do. It's only gonna go down. And so between that first day and maybe like, a week after that, we were supposed to do, like, our launch party with our board, our team, family. We had created a documentary from London. We were going to showcase everybody, everything we had been doing. And so 12 days go by after that first $3,000. It was nothing for 12 whole days. We get to the launch party, and we celebrate, and we're like, God has to do it. And my mom, she. She says, I just feel in my spirit, God is going to use someone of really high influence.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

To close the gap. The next day, I'm on Instagram, the whole booth Instagram that had 50 followers at the time. Like, I'm on the Instagram, and I see Mike Todd watching our stories. I'm like, what would you be doing here? How could you even be here? And the Lord tells me, he said, stay home and watch their gathering this time. Don't go to where you would normally go. And I'm like, okay. So I stay home. I'm watching. They get to the end of their service, and Pastor Mike Todd starts talking about how when God gives to us, there is a natural overflow. So he starts listing organizations that he's come into contact with that he wants to support and give to. Then he gets to the end of talking about organizations, and there's a glitch on the screen. A picture of me shows up, and I'm like. And then it went away. I'm like, what's about to happen? I'm, like, shaking. I'm like, God, if you do what I think you're about to do, that's crazy. So I set up my phone to record it, and he goes on and on talking about something else. Then he says, I heard about a collective in Atlanta that's remodeling old telephone booths and using it to spread hope and connect people to local help and support and putting them in different cities like London and New York. He said, I heard they're trying to raise money. We're sending you $50,000. And I'm sitting our whole team. My phone's going off. We're like, God did it.

[A]

We.

[B]

We went from nothing in 12 days. So we don't know how this is gonna happen. My mom's saying, I feel in my spirit, God is gonna use someone of high influence to do it. To 24 hours later, it's done. So we ended up going on a beta tour, testing it out with different cities, just seeing how people respond to it because we wanted to create with accuracy. That's really important to us. And community listening is a really big, important part of that. That. And so we spent the last three and a half years ultimately listening, building, rebuilding, creating different prototypes. And then we finally got to start permanent installations last year. And it's been absolutely unbelievable, the stories we hear. One of my favorite ones, we have a mom who reached out to us a couple months ago. She said, hey, you guys don't know me, but my son has been struggling with schizophrenia and been struggling with suicidal ideation, and we cannot afford traditional mental health care, but he walks to the whole booth that's at Pond City Market every week, and that's why he is alive. And I think to myself of the fact that God is trying to write us into huge stories.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That require yeses, but it also required me experiencing everything I experienced leading up to this moment. And so trusting and believing. He is a good author and I don't want to snatch the pen out of his hands. What he is doing is special and beautiful. And since then, we've gotten to install hope booths all over the world. We see at least like 435,000 users every single year. It's been just unbelievable and amazing to see the stories that come from it, the life change that come from it, the stories of suicides averted because of some colorful thing. They didn't even know what it was. They just walked up to it out of curiosity. And they stayed out of desire and they stayed out of need. And we have so many people say, man, I feel a peace that's like, different. I feel a hope that's different. And our team just looks and we're like, yeah, we bet you do. We don't always tell them what it is, but we know that there is a peace that's different. We know that there's a hope that's different. And our prayer is that people will encounter that at the hope booth and that the Holy Spirit will intersect into their story. I think a lot of times people don't want to be told what to believe. They want to find it. So the hope booth is an avenue for them to find what is true, to find what is pure, what is right, what is holy. And the ways that the Holy Spirit intersects into their story after just a three minute experience is something I could never take any credit for.

[A]

Yeah. Wow. I am just encouraged more than anything to yeah. To do a better job, like we were talking about in the kitchen, at creating space to be part of a bigger story. And I don't think that. That I was telling you, I don't think that that's limited to just, oh, you have a podcast. But I don't want to limit how God wants to use me. Like, you would have never thought of a telephone booth. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's such a unique and innovative idea, and yet the Lord is using it and changing lives and drawing people to himself and keeping people.

[B]

That's it.

[A]

Keeping people, you know, through this act of obedience. And I just think that that's extremely encouraging. And I pray that everyone who watches this hears that. That there. That there is great fruit on the other side of obedience.

[B]

Every time.

[A]

Every time.

[B]

Every time.

[A]

And you have no idea what your. Yes. The magnitude of your yes. And so I think for me, it's like, I would just want to encourage everyone listening that whatever it is that God is telling you to do, just say yes. Whether it's saying hi to the person on the street.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Whether it's, you know, I don't know, paying for someone's meal, giving someone a call, acknowledging another image bearer. Whatever it is. Just be open to saying yes to the Lord in whatever capacity, in whatever way that he's telling. If it's an idea.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That sounds crazy, because I would have saw a phone booth and been like, okay, so there's a call. Okay. Like, I would have been. What do you mean? Right. Like. But whatever it is, is. It's like just being open to say yes to him. And you have no idea. Like you said, if that pastor did not say yes.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And be obedient in the. In that moment.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I think even the pace. Excuse me. The pace at which we say yes is important.

[B]

Don't delay.

[A]

Don't delay it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Whatever he is provoking you and pushing and convicting you to do, do it. Because, Gloria, your story is evidence of that. It is. It is literally God's faithfulness and what obedience looks like on display.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, the way he's using you is just crazy. From almost an FBI agent to a poet to a preacher, a teacher, you're a l' oreal woman of. What is it? Woman of worth. Like, nominated for that. Like, the way the Lord is using you is just incredible. And so I pray that people are encouraged by that. And I often think of, like, so many of sermons that we listen to is from stories. You know what I mean? And it's just evident that God is always working through someone's story. He's using the stories of people who say yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean? And he's drawing people close, closer to himself. And yeah, I pray that, like, people hear this episode in there. They say yes. They say yes to living.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They say yes to him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean? And they say yes to whatever he's telling them to do. And so thank you for coming on and sharing. Tell us how we can support.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

Hope Booth. I want everyone to support yard enough.

[B]

So there's a lot of different ways to support. The simplest way is by becoming a movement member. So we started the movement about a year ago. It's our monthly donor community where people give on average of ten to a thousand dollars a month. And that's what helps fund 100% of those funds go towards getting hoboots out into the world, getting them installed in very unique communities and high need communities without those communities having to have the resources up front to help produce the Hope Booth. So you can join the movement. You could join the movement. Yeah, in totality, join the movement. And then maybe if you work with some really incredible companies, you know, people work in great places and they're always looking for unique ways to support community development and mental health support. They can help sponsor a hope Booth. Getting an entire one in a school. We have, we have a list of schools who have been asking for help boots, but they can't afford it. And so we're looking for the right partners who want to support. Prayer is huge. Our team prays big, big prayers and we see God do big, big things. And so praying for our crew, praying for every person who will encounter a Hope Booth. It's a miracle to me that none has ever been vandalized. I couldn't tell you how other than I know it is covered by God. And so just prayer over everything, it takes a lot. Our team is primarily volunteer based and people work around the clock walk to help life change happen. And so prayer supporting. You could also be a volunteer. There's so many spaces to come and join us if you live in Atlanta. And so those are the ways people can partner with us.

[A]

So I'll have Gloria give us a link to all the things and I'll put it in the description below. But make sure you guys listen. Don't just be a bystander. Don't listen to this and be like, oh, yeah, that was a really cool episode. No, like, be a participant. Be a participant in what God is doing. There's no. It's not an accident. It's not by chance that you listen to this episode and so, yeah, participate in what God is doing. I think it's. I think it pleases him, and I think we can all, you know, I think unity in this would be a beautiful thing. So I pray that after this episode, movement is crazy. I pray, like, you get so many donations. Yeah, Yeah. I pray that I know the village, my Patreon community, I know that they're gonna support. And I just pray that, like, yeah, I'm praying, like, from this episode, we get, like, amen a ton more phone booths. Hope booths. Yeah, I'm calling them phone booths. Hope boobs all around this city and around this world. And so, again, thank you for joining us. I hope you come back. I'm waiting on a book.

[B]

I'm sure there's a book coming that's a whole conversation. It's a memoir, but I want to wait till I'm, like, 50.

[A]

But God's. I don't know, he's giving me a different energy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm like, I think you got some books in here or something? Yeah, I think I need some books.

[B]

When you drop one, then I'll drop mine.

[A]

Yikey. All right, we're gonna wrap this up. We love you guys. Thank you for joining. Gloria. Thank you. Make sure you guys check Gloria out. Follow the whole booth Instagram account. Follow Gloria. All the information will be in the description below. And we will see you guys next time. What's up, you guys? It's Megan. Ashley. I'm so happy that you joined me on this week of In Totality. I hope this episode was good to you. Good for you. I hope God met you right where you are as you are. Listen, do me a favor before you leave, subscribe to this channel, and then go subscribe to wherever you listen to your podcast. If you listen them in the car or at the gym or wherever you listen to on whatever platform that is, go subscribe to the. To the podcast on there too. Do me a favor. Send this to a friend. If you felt like there was something in this conversation that really just struck a chord with you or, you know, will strike a chord with a friend or a family member or even a coworker, Send it to them, and then do me another favor. It's like, a lot of favors, Megan. I know. Make sure that you join my Patreon community. Listen, the Patreon community, we're called the Village over there. I love them so much, and it's such an amazing community filled with like minded people who just want to love the Lord, want to love his people, want to grow, want to really dedicate their lives to the work that he's doing in their lives. And so this is a great opportunity for you to join. You get the podcast early. You get the In Totality Docu series, which is like the vlog that you can see my life and see kind of the things that I do when I'm not here on the podcast. You also, we also have book clubs and Bible studies. I mean this, this community is just fantastic and amazing and it's been such an encouragement to me and so many of the others that have joined. So we would love for you to be a part of that too. Do me one last favor. Go to the comments. If something was said in this episode that blessed you, something that really encouraged you, even something that might have cut a little bit, something that might even convicted you, but it got you to a place where you wanted to be closer to the Lord, that you wanted to be more like him, where it draws you more near to Him. I want you to go in the comments and tell me what that was. I would love to know. I would love to know that it encourages me, encourages more people. And so we want to hear your thoughts. I love you guys and I'll see you next week.

[B]

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