Incels – "Behind the Scenes" (Dec 3, 2025)

Host & Producers: Courtney Armstrong, Stephanie Lydecker, Gabriel Castillo, Connor Powell
Podcast: Incels (iHeartPodcasts, KT Studios)
Episode Theme: A candid, reflective producer roundtable on what was learned investigating the world of incels, reframing stereotypes, and exploring the wider "manosphere" (digital male-centric subcultures). The team delves into their initial assumptions, unexpected discoveries, and the societal context that fuels these online movements.

Overview

In this behind-the-scenes episode, producers and journalists of the podcast series "Incels" take listeners inside their investigative process and personal evolution. Through a roundtable discussion, they reveal how their views shifted, explore the root causes of incel group growth (particularly loneliness, disconnection, and algorithmic influence), and examine the links to broader issues of masculinity and online radicalization. The episode offers both introspection and analysis, seeking understanding and prevention rather than sensationalism.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Why Explore Incels Now?

• Increasing Mainstream Attention:
  • Stephanie Lydecker discusses the "incel" term migrating from fringe forums to everyday headlines, catalyzed by high-profile cases and misunderstandings.

    "It's kind of been one of those things that we hear about but don't totally understand fully... Suddenly it was on the ticker of most news shows..." — Stephanie Lydecker (04:39)

• Safety & Education:
  • The team emphasizes the danger of these largely unmonitored online spaces, and the importance of understanding them to protect individuals and communities.

    "Not every incel... is dangerous. But these are dangerous places... Without us talking about it and understanding it better, it's impossible to protect ourselves." — Stephanie Lydecker (05:53)

2. Producer Preconceptions vs. Reality

• Stereotypes Challenged:
  • All team members entered the project assuming incels were predominantly aggressive, hate-filled, or violent.

    "My go in was every incel was sort of aggressive and hate filled." — Courtney Armstrong (06:51)

• Revelation of Sadness and Loneliness:
  • Through research and interviews, the producers primarily encountered men grappling with extreme loneliness, alienation, and disconnection.

    "This is a real story about loneliness... Who doesn't feel left out?... Now the target audience is young people." — Stephanie Lydecker (07:10)

3. Connecting with Incels: Challenges & Surprises

• Barriers for Female Producers:
  • Gabriel Castillo notes it was initially difficult for female producers to establish contact with self-identified incels; men had more success in outreach.

    "...many of them were less responsive to outreach from a woman. So I ended up taking the lead on those conversations." — Gabriel Castillo (08:27)

• Desire for Connection:
  • Those willing to speak were often eager to correct misconceptions and simply to be heard, not judged.

    "One of them even told me... the interview felt like shouting into the void. And except maybe for once the void wasn't feeding into their negative thoughts, it was just someone who wanted to feel heard." — Gabriel Castillo (09:27)

• "Normies" and Isolation:
  • Incels see themselves as fundamentally different from "normies," and crave genuine dialogue with outsiders.

    "Many of them opened up more than I expected... for a first time interaction." — Gabriel Castillo (09:27)

• Primacy of Loneliness:
  • The need for belonging and lack of connection is a key motivator for joining incel forums.

    "The fundamental issue is lack of connection... it is loneliness." — Courtney Armstrong (10:08)

4. The Role of Looks Maxing & Online Forums

• Looks Maxing:
  • The team examined the intense pressure in incel spaces to change one's appearance ("looks max") not for self-improvement, but for imagined acceptance.

    "With looks maxing it's all about making themselves better for someone else that is not there." — Gabriel Castillo (03:44)

  • Online spaces allow for judgment-free interaction, but also foster echo chambers.
• Complexity Within Ideologies:
  • Gabriel learned nuanced distinctions—black pill, red pill, blue pill—exist in the community, challenging the generic "incel" label.

    "I also learned a lot about the nuances within these communities. The differences between black pill, red pill, blue pill." — Gabriel Castillo (11:16)

5. Range of Personalities & Communities

• Variety in Incel Types:
  • Connor Powell observed that incel forums are not monolithic; there are angry young men, resigned older members, and everything in between.

    "There's a wide array of personalities under the banner." — Connor Powell (12:53)

• Darker Corners:
  • Certain forums are "the worst of the worst" in terms of misogyny and racism, but less toxic subgroups also exist on platforms like Discord and Facebook.

    "The main INCEL forums were way more vile and disgusting than I was expecting...The websites, they are way more frightening than I was expecting." — Connor Powell (13:27)

6. Algorithms & Tech: Feeding the Cycle

• Algorithmic Targeting of Vulnerable Youth:
  • The team criticizes social media for serving extreme content to children, often before they seek it out.

    "...12 year old boys... don't need to go looking for this material, it goes looking for them." — Courtney Armstrong (14:27)

• Fear of "AI Supercharging":
  • Concern that evolving algorithms, especially with AI, will amplify exposure to harmful content.

    "If AI is the sort of next version of technology, it's almost like you're going to supercharge these algorithms... It's hard to think that they're going to produce productive, good, helpful content out of the AI algorithm." — Connor Powell (14:50)

7. Bigger Picture: The Manosphere & Masculinity

• Expanding Beyond Incels:
  • The producers draw links to the larger manosphere—online subcultures selling a hyper-masculine ideal to young men.

    "The manosphere... is to some extent selling young men a Hollywood action film every single day. It's Rambo, it's Arnold Schwarzenegger... strong, muscular, wealthy. This is what manhood is..." — Connor Powell (22:55)

• Influencer Impact:
  • Figures like Andrew Tate are not necessarily incels but appeal to a similar demographic by presenting a "successful" man template.

    "Andrew Tate is a complicated one... Is he preying on young people who really lack a man in their lives...?" — Stephanie Lydecker (30:30)

  • Many incels reject Tate, highlighting nuanced boundaries between these communities.

    "Andrew Tate is not an incel... that's a lot of red pill stuff." — Gabriel Castillo (32:06)

• Toxic Masculinity & Role Models:
  • The show underscores that shifting, often contradictory, standards of masculinity leave many young men lost and isolated.

    "Maybe there's an epidemic right now of young men who don't have a total clear vision of what that's supposed to look like." — Stephanie Lydecker (24:43)

8. The Dangers of Looks Maxing

• Destructive Pressure:
  • Looks maxing, rather than fostering health, often worsens insecurity and self-loathing.

    "...it's not about self improvement for themselves at all... it's about presenting a version of themselves for someone who may or may not even be there." — Gabriel Castillo (32:50)

• Amplified Insecurities:
  • Harsh online environments quickly escalate mild insecurities into severe self-hatred.

    "You go there because maybe you want to feel better about yourself. And two clicks in you're having the Internet at large tell you you are ugly and hideous." — Courtney Armstrong (35:16)

  • The same standards that once haunted girls are now deeply affecting boys.

    "It's not just a thing that's affecting young girls. I think it is now even Steven, and that is not something we want to be even Steven about." — Stephanie Lydecker (36:29)

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Incels as "Loneliness Communities":
  • "This is a real story about loneliness. This is a story about feeling outside of the norm, which, frankly, is the norm." — Stephanie Lydecker (07:10)
• On Misconceptions and Connection:
  • "One of them even told me... the interview felt like shouting into the void. And except maybe for once the void wasn't feeding into their negative thoughts." — Gabriel Castillo (09:27)
• On the Dangers of Algorithms:
  • "It never forces content on you that will increase your mental sobriety." — Connor Powell (14:50)
• On Looks Maxing and Pressure:
  • "Just the word alone. Looks maxing. Like you don't actually fit in the world unless your looks are maxed." — Stephanie Lydecker (36:29)
• On Solutions and Kindness:
  • "Kindness counts. True wisdom comes from a gentleman who knows where he sits in the world." — Stephanie Lydecker (30:30)
• On The Manosphere's Influence:
  • "They're just selling that two hour movie escapism, but they're selling that this is real life and how confusing that can be for young men." — Connor Powell (22:55)

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Topic | |-----------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:11 | Introduction to the incel phenomenon and producer roundtable begins | | 04:39 | Why explore "incels" now? Increase in mainstream attention | | 07:10 | Recognizing loneliness as the core issue | | 08:27 | Challenges in reaching/connecting with self-identifying incels | | 09:27 | Surprises in how incels responded, desire for connection | | 11:16 | Nuances within incel community: black pill, red pill, blue pill | | 12:16 | The spectrum of incel personalities and experience | | 13:27 | Viciousness of certain online forums, but variety of incel communities | | 14:50 | The threat of algorithms and AI amplifying exposure | | 20:06 | Youth vulnerability and lack of context | | 22:55 | How the manosphere "sells" a dream and impacts identities | | 24:43 | Discussion of toxic masculinity and shifting ideals | | 30:30 | Why Andrew Tate’s message lands — and his distinction from incels | | 32:50 | Looks maxing: what it means and why it's harmful | | 35:16 | Internet amplifying negative self-image; comparison to past pressures | | 36:29 | Male vulnerability to looks-focused standards |

Original Tone and Style

The episode’s tone remains reflective, empathetic, and deeply investigative throughout. The hosts are careful not to sensationalize, focusing instead on understanding the human cost, contextualizing behaviors, and sparking honest conversations about prevention, responsibility, and societal change.

Conclusion

This roundtable episode not only exposes the hidden realities of the incel phenomenon but also reveals the layered complexities of digital masculinity, algorithmic influence, and the universal drive for connection. The producers' vulnerability and candor underscore that addressing problems like incel culture requires understanding, vigilance, better role models, and genuine human connection.