Podcast Summary: Incels – "From Victim to Violence"

Podcast: Incels | Host: iHeartPodcasts
Episode: Season 1, Episode 5: From Victim to Violence
Publish Date: October 22, 2025

Overview

This episode of Incels takes listeners deep inside the most hostile corners of the incel community—hidden, angry online forums—and explores the path from feelings of victimhood to acts of violence. Through interviews with experts in psychology and gender studies, first-hand stories, and actual forum threads, the show dissects how cycles of self-loathing, resentment, and misogyny are forged and reinforced, culminating in the rare but devastating moments when members channel their pain into violence. The hosts also examine the powerful influence of online anonymity and social reinforcement, analyze the culture of entitlement underpinning these attitudes, and discuss how new generations of men are being shaped by these dangerous ideas.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Nature of Incel Forums and Online Anonymity

• Host and Connor Powell (Investigative Journalist) describe the darkest incel forums (e.g., Incels.co), emphasizing their strict anonymity and the rampant, consequence-free use of abusive and obscene language.
  • “There was a whole discussion thread about how you can best protect yourself, about protecting your identity, so that you can essentially post as angrily, as obscene as you want without having to have any repercussions.” (05:45)
• Online Disinhibition Effect: The lack of real-world consequences emboldens users to say things online they would never say in person, feeding a vicious cycle of negativity and hate.

Self-Loathing, Victimhood, and Misogyny in Forum Threads

• Forum Sample: Regular threads ask, “Which type of women do you hate more, ugly women or pretty women?” with posters expressing hatred toward both, laced with rhetoric that flips between self-loathing and misogyny.
  • “Both would tear me apart because the moment I show any interest and try to make a move, they would sort of destroy me.” (08:12)
• “It’s about the ugly women are the cruelest or the pretty women are the cruelest. This type of conversation is what you see play out in almost every thread on this discussion board.” (08:40)
• Victim Mentality: The consistent narrative is that of the incel as a victim of women and society, whether dating or not.

First-Hand Experience: “Brian” the Incel

• Brian shares his experiences in dating, rejection, and feeling exploited by women for money or social outings.
  • “I did go on a... I can’t even call it a date, that tells you how bad it is for me because it was more like a scam...” (11:24)
  • “I never got a chance to really get to know or love them and they never got the chance to get to know me.” (12:45)

Why Incels May Be Overlooked by Society

• Dr. Rob Whitley (Professor of Psychiatry, McGill University):
  • Modern female dating preferences, on average, are for men who are educated, employed, successful, and socially adept—qualities many incels self-report as lacking.
  • “The type of profile that the typical incel meets is very low in terms of desirability for female dating preferences.” (14:50)
  • “Their interpretation that society is a difficult place for them is matched by the social scientific research...” (16:35)

The Pain of Missing Life Milestones

• Dr. Sarah Daly (Criminal Justice Professor and Incel Researcher):
  • The expectation of finding love and companionship is universal, but when those hopes are frustrated early, it causes deep wound and shapes incel identity.
  • “Wanting to be paired and loved is a natural human response. And when that doesn’t happen, you’re missing major milestones.” (18:40)

Adolescent Language and Arrested Development

• Connor Powell reads a forum post: “Thinking about sex all the time is a normie faggot trait.” (20:02)
  • Incels often publicly reject desire while simultaneously oscillating between craving and resenting connection. This language reflects a stunted, adolescent worldview.

Entitlement and Aggrieved Victimhood

• Dr. Michael Kimmel (Sociologist and Gender Studies Expert):
  • Explains “aggrieved entitlement”—the belief that men are owed sex and relationships, and that women’s autonomy is an obstruction to this.
  • “The dominant emotional experience of incels is what I call aggrieved entitlement...the founding ideology is entitlement.” (29:36)
  • Illustrates entitlement using the anecdote, “A black woman stole my job.”—‘Actually, where did you get the idea it was your job?’ (31:23)
  • Describes how language itself often casts women as perpetrators of violence against men (e.g., “knockout,” “bombshell,” “dressed to kill”).
    • “So we’re injured by women’s beauty, and so men often see rape as getting even.” (33:35)

Dehumanizing Language

• Connor Powell & BodiMovin:
  • Women are often referred to as “foids” (“female humanoid”), stripping them of their humanity and further facilitating misogynistic dialogue.
  • “It dehumanizes women… It’s just very depersonalized, you know? It’s almost like we’re not people.” (38:26)
• Dr. David Ley (Clinical Psychologist):
  • “One of the ones that I think is a little sad and really, really, really emphasizes the core misogyny here is that they oftentimes in the incel community refer to women as 'foid', and that means female humanoid, because they don’t want to give them the, the benefit, the credit of being a person, of being humans.” (39:20)

From Victimhood to Violence

• Dr. Sarah Daly:
  • Most incels do not commit violence, but almost all share a sense of victimhood; those who snap often externalize their hatred, leading to attacks seen as acts of retribution.
  • “Lots of incels view themselves as being ugly or weird or not worthy. But the most infamous incels who’ve committed violence directed their anger outwards.” (43:10)
• Elliot Rodger’s Manifesto:
  • “All those popular kids who live such lives of hedonistic pleasure, while I’ve had to rot in loneliness for all these years... I’ll be a God exacting my retribution and all those who deserve it.” (44:27)
  • Rodger’s legacy is referenced as an example of how martyrdom and icon status are assigned within incel communities.

Identity, Hopelessness, and the Echo Chamber

• Hopelessness runs so deep that self-loathing is almost celebrated:
  • Threads titled, “Are you also complete genetic trash with no redeeming qualities?”
  • “I have no self-worth. I have no value to society.” (47:29)
  • Some incels admit these forums amplify their misery: “They bring me down, they make me hate women more, but they also make me hate myself more as well.” (48:00)
• Difference between mainstream forums and incel.co:
  • On Facebook/Reddit, there's sometimes support for self-improvement; on incel-dominated sites, only “vitriolic hatred.” (49:15)

From Pity to Hostility: Victimhood as Identity

• Dr. David Ley:
  • The community builds identity around secret “knowledge” (Gnosticism): the idea that only they see the truth of their oppression, and this becomes a source of in-group value.
  • Victimhood can also be manipulated by users with “dark triad” traits (narcissism, Machiavellianism, and antisociality) to incite violence and increase group cohesion.
  • “We’ve now identified that there are people who use victimhood identity as a manipulative tool to manipulate others. ...They encourage and promote violence as an answer and a response to that victimhood.” (55:37)

The Manosphere and Beyond

• Dr. Kimmel and self-identified incel “Luis”:
  • The misogyny of incel culture is now amplified in the wider “manosphere”—a loosely connected web of forums, influencers, and self-proclaimed alpha males.
  • Many young men graduate from “pickup artist” subcultures to incel forums when manipulative strategies fail to get results.
  • “So there’s a pickup artist to incel pipeline. ...They become an incel.” (59:15)
  • Andrew Tate is discussed as a toxic influencer with massive reach, though not all incels admire him.
  • “There’s plenty of guys out there who hate women and they do just fine... We don’t live in some just world. And there are plenty of guys who don’t hate women and they’re virgins.” (1:02:00)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “The dominant emotional experience of incels is what I call aggrieved entitlement...the founding ideology is entitlement.”
  – Dr. Michael Kimmel (29:36)
• “There was a whole discussion thread about how you can best protect yourself, about protecting your identity, so that you can essentially post as angrily, as obscene as you want without having to have any repercussions.”
  – Connor Powell (05:45)
• “So we’re injured by women’s beauty, and so men often see rape as getting even.”
  – Dr. Michael Kimmel (33:35)
• “One of the ones that I think is a little sad and really, really, really emphasizes the core misogyny here is that they oftentimes in the incel community refer to women as 'foid', and that means female humanoid, because they don’t want to give them the…credit of being a person, of being humans.”
  – Dr. David Ley (39:20)
• “I try to stay off of these websites because they bring me down, they make me hate women more, but they also make me hate myself more as well.”
  – Forum member, quoted by Connor Powell (48:00)
• “Victimhood is the common bond with incels. …For those people who are homicidal violent, this is an act of revenge. ...A gun, right? And killing people is viewed as an act of strength.”
  – Dr. Sarah Daly (45:00)
• “Instead the secret knowledge that they are being fed is that they are victims and that their value in the community comes from acknowledging this victimhood.”
  – Dr. David Ley (56:33)
• “So there’s a pickup artist to incel pipeline. ...They become an incel.”
  – Luis (59:15)
• “There are plenty of guys who don’t hate women and they’re virgins.”
  – Luis (1:02:00)

Key Segment Timestamps

• 05:45 – Dark incel forums, online anonymity, and disinhibition
• 08:12 – Misogyny and self-loathing in forum posts
• 11:24 – “Brian” recounts his dating experiences and being “scammed”
• 14:50 – Dr. Whitley: Why incels may be genuinely overlooked in dating
• 18:40 – Dr. Daly on the pain of missing out on love and life milestones
• 20:02 – Adolescence and controlling desire, language of forums
• 29:36 – Dr. Kimmel: “Aggrieved entitlement” as a core component
• 33:35 – Violent metaphors and justifications for rape
• 39:20 – Dehumanizing language: "foids" explained
• 43:10 – Dr. Daly on incel violence, inward vs. outward anger
• 44:27 – Elliot Rodger’s “retribution” video and manifesto
• 47:29 – Self-loathing and admitted self-destruction in forums
• 55:37 – Dr. Ley: Victimhood identity manipulators (dark triad)
• 59:15 – The pickup artist–to–incel pipeline explained
• 1:02:00 – Not all incels are the stereotypical “woman hater”

Conclusion

The episode exposes the world of incel victimhood, showing how real-life disappointment, facilitated and amplified online, morphs into communities bonded by shared blame and anger. When reinforced by anonymity and the echo chamber of toxic masculinity, these attitudes fuel self-hatred, misogyny, and, at times, acts of violence. Experts highlight the urgent need to understand and disrupt these cycles before they leak further into mainstream male culture and lead to more tragedies. The next episode promises to tackle the broader manosphere and its influence on millions of boys and men.