Podcast Summary: Incels – "I Hit You Because I Love You"

Host: iHeartPodcasts (KT Studios, Courtney Armstrong & team)
Episode Release Date: November 12, 2025

Overview

This episode delves into the complex and controversial world of the Tate brothers—Andrew and Tristan—unpacking their rise in the “manosphere,” their polarizing reputation within incel communities, and the mounting legal allegations against them, including accusations of abuse, human trafficking, and manipulation. Through expert commentary, first-hand accounts (including from alleged victims), and investigation, the episode illustrates how the Tate brothers’ philosophy and actions intersect with incel culture and wider patterns of misogyny and coercive control.

Key Topics and Discussion Points

1. Background: The Tate Brothers and the Manosphere

[03:46]–[11:34]

• Origins and family life:

  • Raised between the UK and the US, with a father, Emory Tate, who was an accomplished but nomadic chess player, and a hardworking single mother.
  • Struggles with poverty shaped their “hustler” mentality.
    • “They literally grew up in poverty in the United Kingdom… the family received welfare and the mother worked tirelessly to provide for them.” (Producer/Interviewer, [08:34])

• Father’s influence:

  • Andrew Tate reflects on trying to live up to his father’s legacy, equating masculinity with earning respect and time.
    • Quote:
      • “I never felt unloved by my father, ever. In fact, I would argue I had the best father on earth... I can earn his time. Or that I can't have as much of it as I want.” (Andrew Tate, [07:26])

• Professional rise:

  • Andrew built his online persona and coaching empire by leveraging early YouTube and forums, promoting discipline, dominance, and “hustler” values.
  • Kickboxing served as a launching pad to personal branding.

• The Tate Brothers in the Manosphere/Incelscape:

  • Divided perception among incels: admired for supposed “alpha” traits, but resented for profiting off the community’s loneliness.
    • Quote:
      • “The Tate brothers basically are red pill manosphere influencers. And incels typically subscribe to the black pill ideology. They sell hope. Incels can view the Tate brothers as two men who busted their way out of this loneliness epidemic. But that was never true. The Tate brothers were never incels.” (Narrator/Host, [10:15])

2. Cultural Context: The Pickup Artist to Incel Pipeline

[11:34]–[13:02]

• User ‘Luis’ on forum migration:
  • Describes how failed attempts at pickup artistry can transition men into incel ideology.
    • Quote:
      • “So you can imagine, like a young man who's like, struggling with women, goes to pickup artistry... doesn't work. And then boom, they become an incel.” (Luis, [11:53])

3. Legal Troubles and Public Persona

[16:58]–[25:40]

• First major allegations (UK era):

  • Andrew’s rise to mainstream attention marred by assault and rape investigations following his appearance on Big Brother UK.
  • Viral videos allegedly showing abuse surface, but Andrew claims these were consensual, private games taken out of context.

• Move to Romania and escalation:

  • Police raid (Dec 2022): brothers arrested for human trafficking, rape, organized crime.

  • Allegations of using the “lover boy” method—luring women with promises, then coercing them into producing explicit material.

    • Quote:
      • “Andrew Tate lured women into his world with the promise of a relationship or modeling work, and then coercing them into producing explicit content and dressing online, doing sex acts online... It's all built on the back of these women that they're exploiting.” (Connor Powell, [21:34])

• Tate’s public defense:

  • He positions himself as a victim of political persecution, asserts innocence, and claims media and prosecutors are out to destroy him because of his views on masculinity.

  • The rhetoric of “The Matrix” – claims of a global conspiracy against “free men.”

    • Quote:
      • “[They] claimed essentially that the Matrix was attacking them, a reference to the movie the Matrix, that there's this sort of hidden global network that was attacking the Tate brothers because of their support for male masculinity and free speech.” (Reporter/Interviewer, [24:46])

4. International Legal Saga

[25:25]–[29:53]

• New charges in Romania:

  • Expanded to include allegations of trafficking minors, rape of a minor, tampering, and money laundering.

• Return to the USA / New Battle Lines:

  • The Tate brothers are celebrated by their followers as icons of "free speech" on American soil; display themselves as victims.
    • Notable Moment:
      • "Freedom isn’t granted by governments. It’s taken back by strong men. Welcome to a new era." (Andrew Tate social media, [27:40])
  • However, Florida opens its own criminal investigation; Governor DeSantis and others publicly denounce them, and resistance to their presence in the US increases.

5. Civil Lawsuit: Brianna Stern’s Allegations

[33:48]–[41:00]

• Brianna Stern’s story:

  • Model and influencer alleges rapid escalation from love-bombing (poems, affection) to controlling, abusive behavior.
    • Quote:
      • “He was love bombing her. Andrew Tate was love bombing her... and he insisted they use these encrypted messages like signal. He told her he was very powerful and these messages need to be secret.” (Narrator/Host & Producer/Interviewer, [34:55])
  • Gradual enforcement of strict control: requiring passwords, surveillance, and manipulation.
  • Victim’s sense of overreach but feeling unable to leave due to power dynamics and intimidation.

• Directly abusive messages and physical assault:

  • Texts provided as evidence show explicit statements tying violence to love and possession.
    • Notable Quote:
      • “You need to be hit to his girlfriend. She says, why? I didn’t like that. What did I do? He says, you deserve it if you're mine, why wouldn't I be able to hit you?” ([39:01])
      • “I really love hitting you. It's very good for me and you. It's relaxing too, I think. And she says, pookie, no, I cry.” ([39:57])
    • Descriptions of choked to near-unconsciousness while told, 'I beat you because I love you.’

6. Final Reflections: Influence, Danger, and Cultural Impact

[41:00]–[41:40]

• The episode closes with a commentary on the real and lasting damage of equating control and coercion with love or masculinity.

  • Only a minority will act on articulated violence, but many more will internalize the message, perpetuating cycles of abuse and misogyny.

    • Quote:
      • “Millions of young men hearing that control is love and violence is strength. Only a small number will act on it, but many will internalize it.” (Narrator/Producer, [41:20])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “The Tate brothers basically are red pill manosphere influencers. And incels typically subscribe to the black pill ideology. They sell hope.” (Narrator/Host, [10:15])
• “A son should have to earn his father’s time.” (Andrew Tate, [08:12])
• “If you try to leave or if you step out of line, I'm going to rape and or kill you.” (Producer/Interviewer, recounting Brianna Stern's allegation, [38:05])
• “You need to be hit... if you're mine why wouldn't I be able to hit you?” (Andrew Tate text, [39:01])
• “I really love hitting you... It's relaxing too, I think.” (Andrew Tate text, [39:57])
• “Millions of young men hearing that control is love and violence is strength…” (Narrator/Producer, [41:20])
• “Freedom isn’t granted by governments. It’s taken back by strong men.” (Andrew Tate social media, [27:40])

Important Segment Timestamps

• [03:46] – Introduction to focus on the Tate brothers, their background, and connection to incel community
• [06:58] – Andrew Tate on his relationship with his father
• [11:34] – Luis on the “pickup artist to incel pipeline”
• [16:58] – Beginning of the Tate brothers’ legal saga (UK and Romania)
• [21:34] – “Lover boy method” explained by Connor Powell
• [24:46] – The “Matrix” persecution narrative
• [27:40] – Tate brothers’ arrival and messaging upon returning to the US
• [33:48] – Brianna Stern’s civil suit and experiences
• [39:01 & 39:57] – Direct quotes from alleged abusive texts
• [41:20] – Reflection on societal impact and episode close

Tone & Language

The hosts and reporters maintain a journalistic, investigative tone—empathetic to victims, critically skeptical of the Tate brothers’ narratives, but careful to note legal presumption of innocence where applicable. The language is direct and at times graphic, especially when quoting allegations and correspondence from case documents.

Next Episode Tease

The show will next investigate the “looksmaxing” economy—a world of insecurity, cosmetic fixes, and the pressures it places on young men.

For more information and resources, listeners are directed to KT Studios’ Instagram and are reminded all allegations discussed are ongoing, with no convictions at time of broadcast.