Podcast Summary: Incels – "One Shot at the Market"
KT Studios & iHeartPodcasts | October 15, 2025
Overview
This episode of "Incels," titled "One Shot at the Market," delves deeply into the personal realities and mental health struggles of men who identify as incels (“involuntary celibates”), exploring first-hand accounts, expert insights, and the origins and misconceptions of the community. Through sensitive interviews with three self-identified incels—Mr. East, Sven, and New Cold Squid—as well as the clinical perspective of Dr. Le, the episode highlights the human cost of isolation and resentment, as well as the urgent need for empathy over judgment.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Who Are Incels? Definitions, Identity, and Misconceptions
- Incels: Men (mostly) who identify as unable to form desired romantic or sexual connections.
- Misunderstandings: The term has been distorted into a catch-all insult and conflated with misogyny and violence, which Mr. East and others argue is not always accurate (08:02, 09:17).
- Misconceptions about Desires: “Most of us are very happy with just average. We just want to be in a relationship where we actually feel loved and appreciated.” – New Cold Squid (43:05)
- Polarization: Both media and feminist critics contribute to a widening gender divide by using “incel” as a blanket term for men they disagree with (08:02).
2. Personal Stories from Inside the Community
A. Mr. East (23, East Asian, neurodivergent)
- Background: Grew up as a “lurker” in online forums; attributes his isolation to race, neurodivergence, and social awkwardness (04:02, 04:32).
- Black Pill Philosophy: He sees it as accepting the fact that some aspects of oneself (looks, wealth, social skills) are outside individual control and greatly impact dating outcomes (06:01).
- Media and Societal Attitudes: Argues the popular narrative is “highly disingenuous” as it fails to see incels’ genuine pain (09:17).
- Radicalization in Echo Chambers: Warns that online forums often intensify pain and radicalization; “Online isn’t a replacement for real-life loneliness. You’ll still feel lonely even if you are part of these communities.” (10:45)
- Group Dynamics: Explains the “incel vs. normie” divide as a product of artificial group formation, increasing polarization and monolithic thinking (11:40).
- Advice for the Isolated: Suggests structural social change is needed more than individual advice; demonization only deepens self-loathing (13:15).
B. Sven (Early 40s, White, previously married briefly)
- Romantic History: Several very short-lived relationships; was married for only three days. Experiences have led to mounting skepticism and jadedness (24:39).
- Self-Perception: Feels that, despite advantages (height, athleticism, earning potential), fate or “luck” is against him (25:59, 29:34).
- Frustration, Not Anger: Describes pervasive frustration but not simmering hatred toward women or society (28:51).
- Evolving Mindset: Hopelessness has developed over years of failed attempts, not from teenage resentment; acceptance of perpetual loneliness is more recent (29:06).
- Cultural Shift: Points to changing ways of meeting others—e.g., online dating replacing social venues—contributing to isolation (27:33).
- Hopelessness and Black Pill: “I use the term black pill because I see literally zero hope, zero return on investment in any effort that goes into it.” (30:24)
- Quotable Moment: “First of all, that’s not how life works. If you want something, you have to work for it. ... I almost feel like I’m cursed.” (29:34)
C. New Cold Squid (Mid-20s, Australian, South Asian Muslim)
- Race and Upbringing: Faced high academic pressure from family, felt “not special,” and suffered bullying, often from girls, impacting ability to trust or open up (38:38).
- Loneliness Enhanced by COVID: The pandemic and isolation pushed him further into online spaces, leading to his embracing of the incel label (37:40).
- Community Perception: Entered with negative stereotypes about violence and misogyny, but now views inceldom as “just a state of being” and “fundamental feeling of being undesirable to anybody” (40:55).
- Desire for Inclusion: “I just think I deserve maybe an A shot, just one shot at the market.” (41:32)
- Daily Experience of Exclusion: Describes being ignored and sidelined in small ways in daily life (“When I say good morning to some… coworkers, they just ignore me… or don’t even acknowledge me.”) (42:35)
- Advice to the Isolated: Recommends minimizing social media use; credits social media with worsening self-loathing (43:50).
3. Expert Analysis with Dr. Le
- Incels by the Numbers:
- Typically men in their mid-20s, heterosexual, often white—but up to 40% are people of color (19:07).
- Around 1.6% of men aged 18-30 in the UK/US self-identify as incels (19:53).
- Estimated 25,000 active in forums (19:07).
- Mental Health:
- Extremely high rates of depression (35-40%) and autism or autistic symptoms (20-40%); vastly above population averages (21:36).
- 80% report suicidal thoughts—a staggering prevalence (03:08, 22:53).
- Violence:
- Actual acts of incel-perpetrated violence, while high-profile, are rare (<60 deaths worldwide to date), especially compared to other ideologically-motivated acts (20:34).
- Feedback Loops:
- Identity becomes “fused” to community, further deepening isolation and vulnerability to ideological radicalization (22:53).
4. Emergent Themes
- Hopelessness: The “black pill” is a core aspect—loss of hope after repeated rejection.
- Pain Without Empathy: Interviewees stress that judgment, name-calling, and demonization contribute to isolation and radicalization.
- Societal Responsibility: Need for systemic, compassionate approaches rather than individual shaming or pathologizing.
- Community Isn’t a Cure: Echo chambers provide validation but not lasting belonging or real-world connection.
Notable Quotes & Timestamps
-
On Social and Racial Disadvantages:
“I am East Asian. I am of Chinese descent ... living in a city that’s like majority white. ... I am high functioning autistic ... that does play into your success.”
— Mr. East (04:32) -
On the Black Pill:
“Black pill is more of an understanding and acceptance that some aspects of yourself are not able to be controlled by you and these aspects ... may influence your success. And that by no means is any fault of your own.”
— Mr. East (06:01) -
On Online Community Impact:
“When you don’t have any real-life relationships and you instead spend all your time within these echo chambers that are just born from people’s pain and anger and frustration, it does cause people to become more and more radicalized.”
— Mr. East (10:45) -
On Defining Incel:
“It just means that you’re inherently unable to attract a partner ... you are literally inherently unable to attract any partner no matter what you do for both sex and both relationships.”
— New Cold Squid (41:32) -
On Misconceptions About Incels:
“The biggest thing is ... we are all just only miserable because we want the top most attractive women as partners. Most of us are very happy with just average.”
— New Cold Squid (43:05) -
On Hope and Acceptance:
“I use the term black pill because I see literally zero hope, zero return on investment in any effort that goes into it.”
— Sven (30:24) -
On Personal Pain:
“How does it feel if you could just drop dead any minute and nobody will even notice? That’s the gist of how I really fold at my worst point of life.”
— New Cold Squid (38:38) -
On Social Media Use:
“One big advice I would give them is to spend as less time as you can on social media. In my opinion, social media is the worst non-violent invention made by humanity.”
— New Cold Squid (43:50)
Timestamps for Key Segments
| Segment | Timestamps | |-----------------------------------------------|-----------------| | Opening & Theme Framing | 02:36 – 03:08 | | Statistics on Suicidal Ideation (Dr. Le) | 03:08 | | Mr. East’s Personal Story | 04:02 – 14:05 | | Echo Chambers & Radicalization | 10:45 | | Misconceptions in Media/Society | 08:02, 09:17 | | Statistics & Clinical Analysis (Dr. Le) | 18:47 – 24:07 | | Sven’s Story & Views on Black Pill | 24:39 – 31:47 | | Hopelessness & Self-Perception | 30:24 | | New Cold Squid’s Story | 36:29 – 44:22 | | Advice to the Lonely/Isolated | 43:50 | | Closing Reflection on Empathy/Next Episodes| 44:22 – End |
Memorable Moments
- The Emotional Weight of Isolation: Mr. East and New Cold Squid articulate, often painfully, how persistent exclusion—from both peers and potential partners—shapes their views, even as they push back against stereotypes of hate and violence.
- Statistical Reality Check: Dr. Le contextualizes incel violence and mental health struggles, emphasizing that most incels are not dangerous but are deeply vulnerable (20:34, 21:36, 22:53).
- Personal Resignation and Hope: Several guests express not cruelty, but a kind of resignation and longing for genuine connection—paired with skepticism that it’s possible in their own lives.
Conclusion & Takeaways
The episode offers not just a window into the complex identity of self-identified incels but a challenge to listeners: to see past media caricature and seek understanding. The intertwined roles of mental health, societal expectations, racial and neurodivergent identity, and the feedback loop of online echo chambers make clear that empathy and social reforms—not demonization—are needed to break cycles of loneliness and resentment.
Final Reflection:
“We’ve learned that empathy matters, compassion matters, and that real understanding cannot come from a place of judgment, but from listening.” — Courtney Armstrong (44:22)
For more, follow @tstudios on Instagram. Stay tuned for future episodes exploring the broader “manosphere,” trolling, and more self-identified incel voices.