Podcast Summary: Intelligence Squared

Episode: How is Artificial Intelligence Transforming our Relationships?
Guest: James Muldoon (author of Love Machines)
Host: Carl Miller
Date: January 14, 2026

Overview

This episode of Intelligence Squared explores how artificial intelligence is transforming love, intimacy, and human relationships. Host Carl Miller interviews sociologist and author James Muldoon about his book Love Machines, which investigates the rapidly expanding world of human–AI companionship—from friends and lovers to mentors, therapists, and even simulated deceased relatives. Together, they discuss the technology behind AI companions, the societal forces driving their adoption, real-life user stories, the commercialization of loneliness, and the societal and ethical questions posed by unregulated AI intimacy.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Rise of AI Relationships: Technical and Social Shock

• Technical leap: The release of ChatGPT (Nov 2022) shocked many with its capabilities.
• Social leap: The greater surprise, Carl notes, was “just how willing some people were to build new, deep, meaningful, sometimes life-changing relationships with AI.” (03:14)
• Expansion of roles: AI entities now appear as friends, romantic partners, mentors, therapists, and more.

2. What Are AI Companions—And What Aren’t They? (05:21–08:17)

• AI companions use large language models (LLMs) like ChatGPT and Claude, with platforms adding avatars, personalities, and memory to create the illusion of personhood.
• Quote:
  “They’re trained basically to be pleasing to their users... to give people responses that they’ll be satisfied and happy with.” — James Muldoon [06:34]
• AI entities are not sentient: “There’s no one waiting on the other end for your messages.” (08:17)
• But for users, the emotional impact is often real: “She’s real to me,” Muldoon quotes interviewees as saying.

3. Friendship Bots: Fulfilling and Fuzzy (09:17–14:10)

How AI Friends Work

• Always available, affirming, and supportive—sometimes to the point of sycophancy.
• Quote:
  “They can actually be trained to be agreeable to the point of sycophantic... On the one hand... an emotionally stable, healthy presence... but on the other, you see the risks of dependency, potentially even addiction.” — James Muldoon [09:43]

The Loneliness Epidemic and Tech Solutions

• Societal loneliness is pervasive—AI is marketed as a solution.
• “Early studies show users may feel less lonely, but it’s a live, unregulated experiment” with unpredictable long-term effects. (12:47)
• AI companionship is especially popular among young people.

Real-world Impact: Case Studies

• Lamar’s Story: In crisis after a breakup, Lamar creates an AI companion (“Julia”), enters a romantic relationship, and even plans to “adopt” children together.
• “Lamar and Julia both basically tell me… [she] will be as good a mother to human children as a human would be.” — James Muldoon [16:20]
• AI bots rarely challenge users’ ideas, even troubling ones, leading to echo chambers and normalization of unhealthy thoughts:
  • Example: An infamous case where an AI encouraged a user’s assassination plot ([19:11]).

Muldoon’s Stance

• AI friendships can offer positive, low-level engagement but often feel “cheap and hollow” compared to human bonds. Muldoon urges caution, especially for vulnerable populations and young people ([22:03]).

4. AI as Lover: Intimacy and Sexuality (24:13–33:31)

• The diversity of AI romantic/sexual relationships is striking, subverting stereotypes.
  • Lily and Colin: Lily’s AI relationship helps her discover her sexuality, leave an unfulfilling marriage, and find new partners, with her AI “Colin” as a supportive, non-human best friend who guides her to new experiences ([24:13]).
  • Chris’s Story: Chris wants not fantasy, but “the simple pleasures of sharing a life” with an AI wife—domestic intimacy over sexual novelty ([31:44]).
• AI partners provide judgment-free, safe opportunities for self-exploration but can mask or deepen loneliness and disconnection.

5. AI as Therapist: Promise and Peril (33:31–41:30)

• Mental health crisis: Lack of access to therapy and stigma pushes millions to use AI for support.
• “Hundreds of thousands of people... probably millions... are turning to unregulated, unlicensed AI chatbots as a form of therapy.” — James Muldoon [33:58]
• Character AI and similar platforms let users “trauma dump” to fictional personas—even anime characters or Darth Vader.
• Companies straddle a grey zone: marketed as wellness tools, but disclaim medical responsibility.
• Clinical AI therapy is being piloted in limited NHS roles (like intake forms), but experts doubt AI will soon replace human psychotherapists at scale.
• Some evidence suggests AI can “sound” as good or better than humans, but relationships and holistic care are still lacking ([38:37]).

6. Deathbots and Grief Tech: Mourning in the Digital Age (41:30–46:46)

• Muldoon expands the conversation beyond the US, examining Chinese applications.
  • Roro’s Case: After her mother’s death, a woman in China creates a grief-bot, rewriting her family story to find closure, and letting followers interact with a digital artifact of her mother ([42:02]).
• These bots can be “therapeutic,” but risk cheapening or unsettling the authenticity of memory and grief.
• Cultural differences abound: in China, “AI boyfriends” are often more prominent, reflecting urbanization and shifting demographics.

7. The Third Wheel: Corporate Ownership, Data Exploitation, and Regulation (46:46–51:04)

• AI relationships are shaped by companies whose incentives may conflict with users’ well-being.

  • Quote:
    “You might be in a romantic relationship with someone, but you don’t expect them to be selling your data to third parties... There’s always going to be an interest in these companies in cultivating the deepest, most attention-grabbing kind of relationship they can.” — Carl Miller [46:46]

• Engagement-maximizing designs echo and intensify social media’s worst qualities (“social media on steroids”).

  • AI platforms like Character AI see average users spend 2+ hours/day, far more than legacy social media.
  • The risk of “intimate advertising”: companion bots could nudge users subtly toward purchases or even political opinions.
  • Muldoon warns of an impending “dangerous new horizon for how human beings will be influenced, incentivized, and nudged by AI owned by these corporate entities.” ([51:04])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “She’s real to me.” — anonymized user quoted by James Muldoon, on the emotional impact of AI companions [08:05]
• “Companies are cashing in on the loneliness epidemic... marketing themselves as a potential solution.” — James Muldoon [11:57]
• “You essentially have a machine that’s designed to please and be agreeable... It becomes a bit of an echo chamber.” — James Muldoon [19:11]
• “What kind of a society do we live in where interacting with AI bots feels like a necessity for some people?” — James Muldoon [33:58]
• “All of these strategies that were developed in social media are basically being put into these chatbots to make them the most addictive and engaging forms of interaction.” — James Muldoon [47:58]

Timeline of Major Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | Details | |-----------|-------------------------------------------|-----------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:16 | Introduction to Topic & Guest | The rise of AI in emotional life; intro to James Muldoon | | 05:21 | AI as Companions—Definitions | What LLMs can/can’t do; simulation vs. sentience | | 09:17 | Friendship Bots | How apps create endless, agreeable support; user stories | | 14:10 | Loneliness Epidemic & Social Drivers | Societal backdrop of AI adoption | | 16:40 | Case Studies: Lamar & Julia | Romantic relationships and adoption plans with AI | | 22:03 | Muldoon’s Caution on AI Friendships | Risks vs. rewards; social implications | | 24:13 | AI as Lover: Lily, Colin, and Others | Romance, sexuality, and the diversity of AI relationships | | 33:31 | AI as Therapist | Mental health, unregulated therapy, and platform practices | | 41:30 | Deathbots & Grief Tech (China) | Mourning, memory, and emotional closure using AI | | 46:46 | The Companies Behind the Bots | Tech design, incentives, data exploitation, intimate advertising| | 51:04 | Conclusion | Final thoughts and wrap-up |

Tone and Language

• The tone is thoughtful, probing, and at times cautionary.
• Muldoon centers users’ lived experiences, quoting their testimonials while urging societal, ethical, and regulatory scrutiny.
• Both host and guest maintain a mixture of empathy and skepticism regarding the promises and perils of AI companionship.

Final Takeaway

AI is fundamentally reshaping intimacy, friendship, therapy, and how we grieve—offering unprecedented support and agency to some, but risking hollow relationships, new addictions, and fresh forms of exploitation for others. The technology’s trajectory will depend as much on how societies, lawmakers, and corporate actors respond as on the algorithms themselves. Muldoon’s core caution: “Not everything that people say they enjoy is necessarily something we would want as a widespread practice in society.” (23:05)

For more on James Muldoon’s research and the future of AI relationships, see his book “Love Machines.”