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I'm going to show you how to command respect. Like the top 0.01%. And I don't mean how to be more impressive or more intimidating. I mean the kind of respect that makes people pay attention to you the moment you walk into a room before you've said a single word. I spent years building a business, raising two boys, and still catching myself shrinking in rooms I had every right to lead. By the end of this video, you're going to understand why You've been accidentally training people to undervalue you. The invisible habit that's been quietly eroding your authority, and the one thing that most respected women in the world all have in common. Starting with point number one, the pedestal problem. Hey, it's Renee, and welcome to into the Wild. You don't command respect by being more impressive. You command it by being internally unavailable for disrespect. The moment you decide someone is above you, everything shifts. Your tone softens, your posture closes, Your standards shrink. And the room feels it. Respect starts when you stop treating powerful people like they're more real than you are. They're not. They just stopped asking for permission before you did. People trust what you own boldly, not what you're apologizing for. Because once you stop looking up at everyone else, you start to see the real thing that's been quietly costing you respect this whole time. Which brings us to point 2, the self abandonment tax. People pleasing doesn't make you more liked. It makes you easy to overlook. Every time you betray your own standards to keep someone comfortable, you teach them something. You teach them exactly how to engage with a smaller version of you. Not the real you. Not the woman who built the thing, who stayed up late finishing the proposal, who held it together when nothing was working. The watered down version. The agreeable one. The woman in the room who commands respect isn't the loudest. She's the one who stopped shrinking herself to make other people comfortable. You don't earn respect by making yourself easier to be around. You earn it by being someone worth paying attention to. When I found out I was pregnant with my second son, one of my really good friends was having infertility issues. And it was so tough on her. When I found out we had the surprise baby number two coming, I kept it from her forever because I was so worried it would crush her. Until one day it just kind of slipped out. She heard through somebody else and she said, why didn't you tell me? It soured the relationship a little bit. Had I just approached her on day one and said hey, I'm pregnant. She would have loved it. And in that moment I realized if I'm stuck in this perpetual loop of people pleasing, I can't celebrate the good things that happened in my life. When you people please, not only do you discredit yourself, but you remove the joy of celebrating the wins. Here's what I want you to try this week. Notice where you soften. Pay attention to the moments you shrink your opinion or over explain a boundary. Ask yourself, am I doing this for connection or for approval? Connection is mutual. Approval is performance. The woman who stops abandoning herself becomes someone other people stop overlooking. If this is hitting home, I built something for you. You don't have a confidence problem. You have a self abandonment problem. And the fix is not more hustle. It's claim who you actually are and stacking the proof every day for 30 days. It's called the confidence code. Follow me on Instagram Renee Underscore Warren and DM me the letters CC and I'll send it over. So let's go deeper because once you stop abandoning yourself, the next question is this. How do you actually hold your ground? And that starts before you ever open your mouth. Which brings us to point three, the invisible standard. Boundaries are energetic before they are verbal. Let that sink in. Respect doesn't begin when you finally say no. It begins when you stop broadcasting. I'm available to be overrun and most women don't even realize that they're doing it. The nervous over explaining after a simple decision, the apologizing for having standards, the abandoning your own position because the room got quiet. All of those are signals and people read them. The most respected women you've ever met don't have the sharpest comebacks or or the best words. Their standards don't come with a disclaimer. Here's a simple framework that I come back to. If something is upsetting you and it's the first time you're actually gonna say something about it, pause. Did you know that your body only needs up to 90 seconds to let an emotion go? So if you're really angry or if you're self conscious, sit there for a second, breathe. Come up with the best question to ask or the best response before you respond. In any high stakes moment, just pause. That pause is your power. My husband, before he fully committed to running media team, would have videographers show up at our house at 5am I remember one morning I walked down the stairs completely disheveled, looking forward to my morning coffee and there were men with video cameras in my house, capturing a day in the life of Dan. I took him aside and I said, hey, babe, no more out of the house. I understood the vision of what he was trying to build. And I kept silence for quite some time. There was just something about that morning. It was like the straw that broke the camel's back. And I just eloquently said, no more in our house. And that was it. I didn't have to explain it, I didn't have to justify it. He said, heard. The next thing I know, he's out of the house. We created a new standard. And it's not that I was trying to be mean. There's no shame in saying, hey, this is what I want. Can you meet me halfway? And you don't have to explain. There's no backtracking. Commit. Know is a full sentence. So is yes. You don't owe anyone a 5 minute explanation for a clear boundary after you make a strong point. Don't backtrack. Don't soften. Let the silence land. Because that silence is where respect gets built. Your energy sets the tone before your words ever do. And that leads to the last piece. Because once you've stopped putting people on pedestals, stopped abandoning yourself, and stopped over explaining your standards, there's one more thing that most respected people in the world all share. Which brings us to point four, the congruence code. The room respects the person whose words, standards and actions match. Not the most polished person, not the most agreeable person, the most congruent person. Congruence is what makes someone feel trustworthy without you being able to explain why. Research in social psychology shows that when someone's verbal and nonverbal signals align, they're perceived as significantly more credible and more influential. People don't just hear your words, they measure them against everything else you're doing. It's the woman who says she values her time and actually protects it. The woman who says she has standards and doesn't abandon them the moment things get uncomfortable. Most people say one thing and live another. Not out of dishonesty, out of habit, out of wanting to be liked more than wanting to be respected. But here's the shift. Respect isn't something you earn by performing. It's something you attract by aligning. When what you say, what you believe, and what you do all match, the room stops questioning you. Not because you demanded it, because there's nothing left to question. I remember a specific time recently when the really good friend of mine asked me out for dinner. And she's one of my Besties. I remember there was something important that was happening the next day. And when she asked me out for dinner, all I could think about was, I'll probably eat too much. I'm going to want a glass of wine. I'll be late. The old me would have said yes and paid for it the next day. Dragged myself through the day. All I said was, hey, tomorrow's a really important day. Is it cool if we rain check? She didn't take it personally. She was like, yeah, that's cool. Is Saturday better? Your friends will still love you when you honor what you need. And I got to show up the next day totally refreshed. And I had the best date ever with her that weekend. When you become the person that has such clear lines of expectations about what you want and what you don't, it's easy. Easier for people to accept the no. Because if you're always the people pleaser, always showing up and saying yes to every opportunity because you're worried about insulting somebody, it gets really hard to establish those boundaries. You got to start somewhere. I promise you this. The moment that you go and you have the dinner with your best friend, after you've established that boundary, it's more meaningful. Here's what I want you to sit with. Pick one area of your life where your words and your actions don't match. We all have one. Maybe you say you value rest, but you never take it. Maybe you talk about boundaries, but you keep bending them. Close the gap on one thing this week. Not everything. One thing. Watch what happens when people start meeting the real version of you, not the version you've been performing, the one who's actually aligned. And that's what it really comes down to. Respect isn't something you chase. It's something you restore. And it starts with the relationship you have with yourself. You don't need a louder voice. You need a truer one. Become the woman first. The respect follows. And if you want the confidence code, that 30 day guide to claiming who you're becoming, follow me on Instagram at reneewarren and DM me the letters cc. I'll send it over. Wait. Before you go to support this show, please rate and review and share it with your business besties. It means the world to me to get this message in front of more women who are also on the pursuit of greatness. Tune in wherever you subscribe to podcasts, watch us on YouTube and follow me on Instagram. Reneewarren. This show is produced in partnership with Martel Media. Sam.