
Loading summary
Podcast Host
This is an I heart podcast.
Ad Reader 1
High Key.
Jacob Goldstein
Listen to High Key, a new weekly podcast.
Podcast Host
You better listen.
Bowen Yang
Speaking of tanning, I was sunning my.
Podcast Host
Nether regions because I read that you're supposed to, like, get sun not only in your mouth, but also in your other orifices. Wait, are you talking about you put your hole into the sun? I did. That's crazy.
Jacob Goldstein
Downward dog mooning the sun.
Podcast Host
I was gonna say. Is it cheeks open? It's cheeks open all the way wide. Is it cheeks open?
Ad Reader 2
Uh huh.
Podcast Host
Who's holding? Enough of that nonsense now. Listen to High key on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Bowen Yang
This is Bowen Yang from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.
Matt Rogers
And guess what. I'm Matt Rogers from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. And guess what?
Bowen Yang
What?
Matt Rogers
I'm stressed. I got invited to a friendsgiving and now there's the big question of what to bring.
Bowen Yang
Well, just bring a bottle of Casamigos.
Matt Rogers
Oh, Casamigos. Of course.
Bowen Yang
Nothing brings people together like a batch of Casamigos margaritas.
Matt Rogers
A Casamigos margarita really is the perfect cocktail.
Bowen Yang
Pl. CAS amigos. Goes with everything.
Matt Rogers
Turkey, stuffing, Mac and cheese.
Bowen Yang
Oh, I was thinking more cranberry juice or ginger beer, but that works too well.
Matt Rogers
You know the iconic rule of culture number 743. Anything goes with my Casamigos. This friendsgiving. You know what everyone will be grateful for?
Bowen Yang
Cosamigos.
Matt Rogers
I was gonna say you and Cosamigos.
Podcast Host
Ooh.
Bowen Yang
Let's keep it in that order.
Matt Rogers
Please drink responsibly. Imported by Casamigos Spirits Company, White Plains, New York. Casamigos Tequila, 40% alcohol by volume.
Jacob Goldstein
This is Jacob Goldstein from what's yous Problem? When you buy business software from lots of vendors, the costs add up and it gets complicated and confusing. Odoo solves this. It's a single company that sells a suite of enterprise apps that handles everything from accounting to inventory to sales. Odoo is all connected on a single platform in a simple and affordable way you can save money without missing out on the features you need. Check out Odoo at O d o o dot com. That's O D O o dot com.
NFL Announcer
The NFL International games continue on NFL Network. And here our stars come out in the morning.
Podcast Host
Let's go.
NFL Announcer
Week 10, Bajan Robinson and the Falcons touchdown Atlanta take on Daniel Jones and the Colts in Berlin.
Matt Rogers
Fireworks in the fourth quarter.
NFL Announcer
Then in week 11, Jaden Daniels and the Commanders touchdown once again. Face Tua and the Dolphins in Madrid snooze off. Game on. It's Sunday Morning Football continues November 9th at 9:30 Eastern only on NFL Network.
Podcast Host
Club Book Club Book Club hello and welcome to Callzone Media Book Club, the only book club where you don't have to do the reading because I do it for you. And by my count, there's still a few days left of Spooky Month. And so we've got one last spooky story for you. This week I'm going to be reading you Fuck this Shit Manor by Laurel Hightower. It's from the same 2022 collection, it was All a Dream, an anthology of bad horror tropes done right that we read you another story from. This one is lighter and funnier because what is more Halloween than a little spooky humor and making fun of ourselves? And now, Fuck this Shit Manor by Laurel Hightower the house was waking on every level of the ageless monstrosity, things were stirring, sentience returning, hunger rising. In the deepest, darkest corners of the hidden cellar, accessible only by a broken dumbwaiter, skeletal limbs grasped at shadows on the grand ground floor. Dust motes stirred as the grandfather clock whirred and clicked and began to chime in erratic tune. Figures made of thirst and nightmares flitted up the wide staircase, trailing cold fingers along neglected banisters. Nameless, hulking, drooling creatures skittered and lumbered close to the ground. And in the empty second floor bedrooms, in the cursed and empty nursery, a cradle rocked on its own while tiny webbed digits crept up the sides. The bolted attic door creaked open and something ancient sighed within. Voices rose through the house, and all that walked lurched and crawled there still to listen. You're sure this rent is right? Said the one they wanted. The fresh voice, the woman completely certain the owners want tenants of a certain caliber. A snort interrupted the caretaker, but the woman shushed it. As I was saying, tenants who will care for the place while they cannot, they don't require money, so the rent is a token figure two. Look, I'm sorry. It's a very good deal, but utilities have to be at least twice that. And a place this old's gotta be gas heat, right? So even with the low rent, there's no way we could afford it. My dear madam, didn't I say the price includes all utilities and my services as a groundskeeper to boot? The woman's voice took on a tone. Meaning you live here too, huh? Uh, no offense, but I'm not rooming with some weirdo. There was A pause before the caretaker continued. Oh no, Madame. I don't stay here. I won't be caught here after dark, you understand. I've been serving here for more years than I can count. But I never have and never will. Right. Well, that's good, I guess. And I'm expected to what? Fix it up or something clean? No more than you would any other home you lived in. Merely keep it neat and your children will do the rest. My children? Ha. I can't even get them to keep their bedrooms picked up. So don't be counting on them for manual labor. Anyway. An arrangement like that would be in violation of state and federal labor laws, so that's not going to fly. The house was becoming restless, impatient. It wanted fresh blood and it wanted it now. Ridiculously low rent and all utilities paid on a mansion like this. What was this woman arguing about? The caretaker laughed, a creaking, wheezing sound that made even the denizens of the hidden cellar wince. Oh, no, nothing of that kind. They will simply bring life to the old place. That's what the owners want very much. That and the small bit of care taking we discussed earlier. Mhm. So the old lady's bedbound? She got a home health aid or something? Cause my diaper changing days are over. All she requires are three meals daily placed outside her door and to be left alone. Mom, did you see the size of the backyard? We could have a swing set out there. Yeah, and there's got to be like 20 bedrooms. Cassie and I wouldn't have to share. The house loomed closer, held its breath. The deal was nearly made. You think I'm dumb, old man? What? No. I told you. The owners are looking for a special kind of moron. Right? I bet they are. You'd have to be to take on a place like this. Mom, come on. No, we're going. You know how I always say there's no such thing as a free lunch? You're looking at a prime example. Come on, we're leaving. Anger rose through every level. Muttering, discontent spilled through the vents and down the stairs. The caretaker loomed large. I don't think this is a deal you can afford to turn down, Madame. Think again, Creeper. There was a hissing sound and the caretaker screamed. Go on, kids, head for the door. A thunder of footsteps signaled the departure of dinner. Fuck. This shit. Was the last they heard of the woman as the door slammed behind her. But do you know what will always lovingly invite you into luxury before your imminent slaughter? That's right. It's ads. Every single time. Here they are.
Ad Reader 1
Let's be real. Life happens, kids spill, pets shed and accidents are inevitable. Find a sofa that can keep up@washablesofas.com Starting at just $699, our sofas are fully machine washable inside and out so you can say goodbye to stains and hello to worry free living. Made with liquid and stain resistant fabrics, they're kid proof, pet friendly and built for everyday life. Plus, changeable fabric covers let you refresh your sofa whenever you want. Neat flexibility. Our modular design lets you rearrange your sofa anytime to fit your space, whether it's a growing family room or a cozy apartment. Plus, they're earth friendly and trusted by over 200,000 happy customers. It's time to upgrade to a small, stress free, mess proof sofa. Visit washablesofas.com today and save that's washablesofas.com offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.
Bowen Yang
This is Bowen Yang from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang and guess what?
Matt Rogers
I'm Matt Rogers from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang and guess what?
Bowen Yang
What?
Matt Rogers
Oh, I'm stressed. Why? I got invited to a Friendsgiving and now there's the big question. What to bring?
Bowen Yang
One thing's for sure, nobody makes a better cocktail than you. Just bring a bottle of Casamigos.
Matt Rogers
Casamigos?
Ad Reader 2
Duh.
Bowen Yang
And people together like a batch of Casamigos Margs.
Matt Rogers
A Casamigos margarita really is the perfect cocktail.
Bowen Yang
Plus, Casamigos goes with everything.
Matt Rogers
Turkey, stuffing, Mac and cheese.
Bowen Yang
Oh, I was thinking more like cranberry juice or gingerbrew, but that works too well.
Matt Rogers
Remember the iconic rule of culture number 743? Anything goes with my Casamigos. Plus, the most popular person at the party is always the bartender or the.
Bowen Yang
Person who brings Casamigos to the party.
Matt Rogers
Friendsgiving is officially looking up now.
Podcast Host
See?
Bowen Yang
No need to stress over what to bring when there's Casamigos.
Matt Rogers
Now the only question left is what to wear if only Casamigos made clothes.
Bowen Yang
There's an idea.
Matt Rogers
Please drink responsibly. Imported by Casamigos Spirits Co. White Plains, N.Y. casamigos Tequila 40% alcohol by volume.
Ad Reader 2
All your favorite NBA players are back and DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NBA, is the place to bet on NBA stars this season. New customers bet just five bucks and get three months of NBA League Pass, plus score $300 if your bet wins. Paid in bonus bets. Download the DraftKings sportsbook app and use code PointGame. That's code PointGame. Bet five bucks and get three months of League Pass, plus get $300 in bonus bets. If your bet wins in partnership with DraftKings, the Crown is yours. Gambling problem call 1-800-Gambler in New York, call 877-8-Hopeny or text hopeny 467-369 in Connecticut. Help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org Please play responsibly on behalf of Boothill Casino Resort in Kansas. Pass through a per wager tax May apply in Illinois. 21 + age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario, restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive bonus bets which expire in seven days. Minimum odds required. NBA league pass Auto renews until canceled. Additional terms at DKNG Co Audio limited.
Jacob Goldstein
Time Offer this is Jacob Goldstein from what's yous Problem? Business software is expensive, and when you buy software from lots of different companies, it's not only expensive, it gets confusing. Slow to use, hard to integrate. Odoo solves that because all Odoo software is connected on a single affordable platform. Save money without missing out on the features you need. Odoo has no hidden costs and no limit on features or data. Odoo has over 60 apps available for any needs your business might have, all at no additional charge. Everything from websites to sales to inventory to accounting. All linked and talking to each other. Check out Odoo at O D O o dot com. That's O D O o dot com.
Podcast Host
And we're back. The house sagged and its residents pulled themselves from the shadows to gather in the decrepit kitchen. One of the second floor ghosts knelt beside the writhing caretaker. You let another one get away, Francis. You suck at this. The old man sat up, pushing long and stringy hair behind his ears, tears streaming down his face. She sprayed me with something, he said, gasping. My eyes are on fire. Wet, squishy hands lifted him up under his armpits and into a chair. I think she maced you. We got any milk? That's supposed to help a corpse. Opened the fridge. It's all expired. Just use water. A dark eyed woman with a noose mark around her neck lit a cigarette. That's the last time you're the public face, Francis. She's the sixth one you failed to close the deal with. We're all going to starve at this rate, Max, the hellhound whined and pressed his flank against her leg. She leaned down to stroke his head and his fiery eyes rolled back in pleasure. Francis sniffed and pressed a cold mildewed rag against his streaming eyes. You think you can do any better? I'm the only one with a pulse. This used to be easier. The giant peered between gauzy curtains. The world is changing. A vampire lifted his lips. That's as useful as it was the last time you said it. The giant turned and frowned. My point is, we need to change with it. The hollowed eyed twin stared up at him, lips quivering. You mean leave here? Move on? The giant sighed and turned back to the window. No, I mean we need to get help from someone who knows more than we do about the way things work now. The twins joined him at the window and followed his pointing finger. A specialist. Each resident in their turn approached the window and looked and each nodded and smiled at one another, their hope renewed. A specialist was just what they needed. Any of the phones still working? Asked the hanged Ghost. Lottie Fraser had seen some dud houses in her time. Houses right next to train tracks. Houses falling to rack and ruin. Even houses where murders had taken place. She'd sold every one of them, which is why she was the real estate queen of the southeastern quadrant. But this place was going to be a challenge. She climbed the stone steps littered with leaves, her lips pursed at the dingy porch. She pushed the doorbell with one knuckle, scribbling a list as she waited. Minutes later, a sunken eye peered at her through the yellowed lace curtains. She didn't bother smiling, raising an eyebrow instead. These people needed to get with it. Time was money. Locks were heard clicking and clacking in. The enormous door swung into darkness and a stooped man with jaundiced skin in a revolting suit stood before her. Ms. Fraser, I presume? Oh my God. Please don't tell me you're the one who's been showing the place. Jesus. No wonder no one's rented from you. She waved a hand at him. Back up, back up. You ever heard of a space bubble? The man frowned but stepped back to allow her to enter. Lottie stepped inside and wrinkled her nose. What the hell? When was the last time this place had a good airing out? She heard the door swinging shut behind her and raised one orange tipped finger. Oh no, you don't leave that unlocked. The caretaker raised an eyebrow, but he obeyed. She looked him up and down. You the one that called my office? He gave a sour smile and held out his hand. Francis. I'm hired with the manor. She looked at his dirty nails and declined to shake. Francis. Huh? You the Only one here. He opened his mouth and she leaned in closer. Don't even think about lying to me, Francis. I hear them moving. Where's everybody hiding? Francis closed his mouth again and stared, then lifted his shoulder. Any input here? He asked the house at large. Slowly, with many creaks, groans, hisses, and snarls, the denizens of the manor crept into the light. Lottie subjected each to a critical glance, then scribbled on her list again with a sigh. Once they were all assembled in their nightmare glory, she pushed her hair from her forehead. This everybody? She asked, and Francis nodded. Fine. Y' all stay here. Frances is gonna give me a tour. I catch any of y' all sneaking up on me, you're gonna be sorry. You hear me? The threat the diminutive woman uttered was left unspoken, but there was none among the gathered dead that doubted her word. They waited in a silence punctuated with glances at one another, listening to her exclamations of annoyance as she went over the house top to bottom. When she came back down the stairs, Frances trailing dejectedly in her wake, her features were scrunched. She made her way to the largest sofa, waved the twins out of her way, then sat and made notes in silence for several minutes. Finally, the creatures could stand it no longer. Well? Asked the hanged woman as she lit another cigarette. Lottie looked up and frowned. That's the first thing to go. Put that shit out and go outside to smoke in the future. You can't get that smell out of upholstery for love or money. The ghost gaped. I can't go outside the bounds of the house. I'll disappear. Lottie's expression remained unchanged. Not my problem. You asked for my help, and I'm telling you what you need. She grimaced down at her list, which so far is taking up three pages. The giant spoke before anyone else could tell us. We're willing to learn. She eyed him. For starters, you all have to give this place a good cleaning. Cobwebs, dust, the smell of decay. Nobody wants to live with that shit. I'm surprised you got anyone over the threshold. They grumbled, but there were nods all around. Max lifted a lip and a growl started to shake the room, the stench of sulfur choking the spirit. Still capable of smell. Lottie waved a hand in front of her face and looked at the beast. Lord have mercy. What the hell have you been feeding him? The vampire sputtered. That's not gas. He's a hellhound. Lottie snapped her fingers and Max's ears dropped. He stopped growling and came to sniff at her hand. She leaned close to scratch under his studded collar and he pressed close to her side. Whatever it is, you'd best put stinky boy outside before you bring anyone else in who's a gassy hellhound. You are, aren't you, boy? The fire went out of the dog's eyes and his tail thumped. Everyone bit their lip at the sight of one of Hell's most feared enforcers, brought low by scritches and a ridiculous voice. Lottie straightened and swung back to Francis. Next. There's you. You need to clear right the fuck off when you've got a potential renter here. He sniffed and straightened. Madam, I am the only one here who is capable. You're capable of giving people the creeps, that's for sure. She waved a hand to indicate his whole person. Your look just screams rapist, okay? I don't care who has to do it. You stay out of sight. And this whole I come with the house thing is over as of now. No one wants a skeezy guy beating off in a shrubbery, okay? People value privacy. I would never not interested. We're talking an aesthetic here. And yours is fucked. She eyed the Hanged Ghost. You're visible inside the house. Yeah. The woman frowned. I am, but Cool. Get you a turtleneck and some makeup, you're golden. You want a woman anyway. Less threatening to other women, more enticing to male renters. Don't overdo it with the sex kitten thing, though. But I Lottie mowed her over. As for the rest of you, and I can't stress this enough, stay the fuck out of sight. And not just that. Ease up on this whole needy vibe you've got going here. You lean in like vampires. As soon as someone comes in, people are going to get edgy. Everyone made a studious effort to avoid looking at the vampire while he stared at the scuffed wooden floor. And speaking of avoiding vampires, here's one vampire you will never be able to avoid. Unless, theoretically speaking, you were to hit the fast forward 15 seconds button a bunch of times. I don't know. You can't avoid them and I wouldn't want to. It's the products and services that support this show.
Ad Reader 1
Tired of spills and stains on your sofa? WashablesOfAs.com has your back. Featuring the Annabe collection. The only designer sofa that's machine washable inside and out. Where designer quality meets budget friendly prices. That's right. Sofas start at just $699. Enjoy a no risk experience with pet friendly, stain resistant and and changeable slipcovers made with performance fabrics experience cloud like comfort with high resilience foam that's hypoallergenic and never needs fluffing. The sturdy steel frame ensures longevity and the modular pieces can be rearranged anytime. Check out washablesofas.com and get up to 60% off your Anna Bay sofa backed by a 30 day satisfaction guarantee. If you're not absolutely in love, send it back for a full refund. No return, shipping or restocking fees. Every penny back. Upgrade now@washablesofas.com Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.
Bowen Yang
This is Bowen Yang from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang and guess what.
Matt Rogers
I'm Matt Rogers from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang and guess what?
Bowen Yang
What?
Matt Rogers
Oh, I'm stressed. Why? I got invited to a Friendsgiving and now there's the big question. What to bring?
Bowen Yang
One thing's for sure, nobody makes a better cocktail than you. Just bring a bottle of Casamigos Ca and nothing brings people together like a batch of Casamigos Margs.
Matt Rogers
A Casamigos margarita really is the perfect cocktail.
Bowen Yang
Plus, Casamigos goes with everything.
Matt Rogers
Turkey, stuffing, Mac and cheese.
Bowen Yang
Oh, I was thinking more like cranberry juice or gingerbrew, but that works too well.
Matt Rogers
Remember the iconic rule of culture number 743 anything goes with my Casamigos. Plus, the most popular person at the party is always the bartender or the.
Bowen Yang
Person who brings Casamigos to the party.
Matt Rogers
Friendsgiving is officially looking up now.
Podcast Host
See?
Bowen Yang
No need to stress over what to bring when there's Casamigos.
Matt Rogers
Now the only question left is what to wear if only Casamigos made clothes.
Bowen Yang
There's an idea.
Matt Rogers
Please drink responsibly. Imported by Casamigos Spirits Co. White Plains, New York Casamigos Tequila 40% alcohol by.
Jacob Goldstein
Volume this is Jacob Goldstein from what's your problem? When you buy business software from lots of vendors, the costs add up and it gets complicated and confusing. Odoo solves this. It's a single company that sells a suite of enterprise apps that handles everything from accounting to inventory to sales. Odoo is all connected on a single platform in a simple and affordable way. You can save money without missing out on the features you need. Check out Odoo at O D O o dot com. That's O D O o dot com.
NFL Announcer
The NFL International games continue on NFL Network and here our stars come out in the morning.
Ad Reader 2
Let's go.
NFL Announcer
Week 10 Bajan Robinson and the Falcons take on Daniel Jones and the Colts in Berlin.
Matt Rogers
Fireworks in the fourth quarter.
NFL Announcer
Then in week 11, Jaden Daniels and the Commanders touchdown once again face Tua and the Dolphins in Madrid snooze off. Game on. It's Sunday Morning Football continues November 9th at 9:30 Eastern only on NFL Network.
Podcast Host
And we're back. Lottie sorted through her stack of paperwork, brought a fresh sheet to the top. Now let's talk rent and marketing. How much are you charging for this dump? When someone muttered a number from a dark corner, she turned slowly in her seat until she faced them. Are you kidding me? Why not just put up a blinking neon sign that says this is a trap? Francis coughed. Excuse me. That low rent figure has been instrumental in getting applicants through the door. No one can resist, right? They got through the door, but do they stay? Silence answered her and she nodded. That's what I thought. You can't make it astronomical, but you have to make it believable. A second floor ghost spoke up. There is the matter of the caretaking. That makes it more realistic, doesn't it? Lottie frowned. Caretaking? You mean Lurch over there? She jabbed a thumb at Frances. The ghost cleared its throat. No, it's part of the rent arrangement. The tenants are responsible for light caretaking of Mama. Lottie set down her stack on the couch beside her. Who the fuck is Mama? Her gaze fell on the web fingered infant who shook her head. Don't look at me. No relation. The resident of the third floor bathtub spoke up wetly. Well, it's just what we call her. She doesn't leave the attic rooms, so she doesn't bother anyone. But she requires three meals a day. Lottie crossed her arms. That shit's gotta go too. They gaped at her. The hanged Ghost cleared her throat. What? What should we do with her? Once again, not my problem. I'm just telling you, no one but no one is going to want to rent a place that comes with an unseen attic roommate who needs babysitting. People like to feel comfortable and enjoy themselves in their homes. That means being able to relax, unwind, be themselves, screw. And no one is going to want to have sex with that hanging over them. She doesn't. Doesn't matter. Get rid of her. Moving on. Now. Where are you advertising? At first no one answered. As everyone struggled to catch up to the image of a mansion without Mama. There was a guilty amount of relief in the picture. The usual places, said Frances. At last that eyebrow went up again. Meaning where? More glances were exchanged and Frances petered out under her gaze. The twins spoke up in unison. The newspaper Classified ads, of course. And the community message board. Lottie whipped around to look at them, raised a finger again. Do not, under any circumstances do that again. You're separate people, no matter what tired tropes have told you so act like it. The girls exchanged stunned looks, then slowly let go of one another's hands. Lottie nodded and looked back at Francis. Newspaper Classifieds, for fuck's sake. The city paper, at least. Francis lowered his gaze. No, there's a free community paper. Lottie dropped her head into her hands, eyes squeezed shut. You're advertising in this neighborhood? Is that wrong? Asked the giant. Lottie lifted her head. When was the last time any of you looked outside? Do you know where you live? The median income in this area. Francis smiled back. On safe ground, of course. That's been a key to our success. These people have never been inside a mansion like this, let alone lived in one. And to be able to do so for less than the lowest rent of one of those homes that surround us. Why every time we post one of those flyers with the little strips of paper, every last one gets taken. A wizened corpse tapped its chest. Those were my idea, it said with a grin. Lottie massaged her temples. These are working class people. Folks who've struggled with poverty, addiction, cycles of abuse and neglect. Not all of them, but everyone here has had to work for what they have, and every one of them is going to give the side eye to something that seems too good to be true. They might be tempted, they might even come look, but in the end, their sense of self preservation is going to save them. The room was silent, the words Fuck this shit ringing in their ears, the phrase they'd heard far too often of late. As unpleasant as it was to hear, Lottie was right. And this was, after all, why they'd called a special. The giant straightened his great shoulders. Okay then, tell us what to do. Any of you even remotely familiar with social media? Francis shook his head and began to answer when one of the twins raised a hand. He glared at her, but she shrugged. A kid dropped a phone once. I don't use much data and it was one of those pay as you go ones. So I've just been adding like five gigs every six months and there's literally nothing else in to do. Lottie gave her a nod. Good. So your targets are going to be easier to find on social media venues. You can narrow by geography if you want, but honestly, you'd be surprised how many of these types of people are willing to pick up and move their whole lives cross country just to take advantage of a windfall. She took out her own phone and began scrolling one twin at either shoulder. Several other residents gathered behind her. Okay, see, here's what I'm talking about. Amber Bradley. Look at the number of tweets she has complaining about waitstaff and food service. Her fucking breakfast taco was delayed three minutes and she's literally crying over it. Lottie scrolled further. You can tell she's never had a real job in her life, but there's tons of photos of expensive vehicles, vacations, meals that cost more than my commissions. The vampire frowned. So, rich people? Lottie shook her head. No. Entitled people. There's a difference. You're looking for folks so privileged they don't even realize they are the kind of people who won't think it's sketchy to be able to rent a whole friggin mansion for a few hundred bucks a month. And you don't even have to charge rent if you want to go another angle, pick a specific target, then tell them they've got an inheritance. From who? Asks The Hanged Ghost. Her brow furrowed, Lottie laughed. Who cares? Make up someone old and obscure. Tell them they were chosen because, oh hell, I don't know. Make up something to make them feel special. The twins were scrolling through the feed. Ugh, this woman looks awful. Look at how long she rants because they misspelled her name at Starbucks. Sounds like an ideal tenant. She stood, brushed off her bottom, and handed her work to the Hanged Ghost. I think that about covers it. That's a detailed list and there's more information in the booklet. Y' all have a lot of work to do, but this place has potential. The giant stepped forward, holding out an envelope stuffed with cash. Ms. Fraser, I can't tell you how much we appreciate you coming out. Lottie stuffed the cash into her purse. You just did, she said and shook his hand. I want to see this place in tip top shape next time I drive by. I have other properties in this neighborhood, you know. Know. They all gathered to wave her off, and as Lottie adjusted her blouse in the reflection of Rakiya's window, she shook off the chill and dank of the haunted mansion. Fuck that shit, she muttered, then gave a wide smile as she placed another of her signs in the mansion's weed choked yard and Long live the Queen of the Southeastern quadrant. Yeah, I don't know. That's the story. The end of Fuck this shit Manor. Okay, mostly I like the story because it's fun and it was fun to try and do voices for it. But also I love that modern, even goofy science fiction has a decent or genre fiction, whatever the fuck, has decent class analysis in it. I love that. It's just the talking about being like. You think people, just because they're desperate, they're gonna move into this place? No, the people who you can actually fuck over are the rich people who think they're entitled to shit. It's so good. And I love a clever story as long as it's well written and what Laurel Hightower, the author of Fuck the Shit Manor, has to say about it. The haunted house is now and forever will be my favorite horror trope. I love ghosts and ghoulies and the atmosphere of a good haunting. But there are a couple of key points that every story must address. The first is why the hell do these characters stay in the damn house? I love seeing how authors approach this. One of my favorites being the film His House. The main characters literally have nowhere else to go. The other question that started bugging me was how on earth do these people keep ending up in these places? A classic, cozy, weird inheritance take can certainly be done well, and a lot of times that's enough. But in the age of smartphones and Uber, it gets less and less believable that a person would just drop their whole life to move into crazy aunt so and so's isolated mansion with creaky floors, footsteps in the night, and that one door you. You absolutely can't open. Oh my God. What were you thinking? It's insulting to those of us who grew up struggling or working class that we'd just be so grateful we'd serve ourselves up on a platter to whatever lurks behind closed doors. If anything, we're liable to side eye anything that seems too good to be true. But ghosts gotta eat. So how do they adapt to changing times and attitudes? I loved exploring this concept in a tongue in cheek fashion with Fuck this Shit Manor. I initially wrote it in 2020, gifted to a wonderful but now defunct website for does the dog die in this? I'm thrilled to see it live again as the residents of the manor put up their own struggle for survival. And Laurel's bio is. Laurel Hightower grew up in Kentucky, attending college in California and Tennessee before returning home to horse country where she lives with her husband, son and a rescue pit bull. She works as a paralegal in a mid sized firm wrangling litigators by day and writing at night. A bourbon and beer girl, she's a fan of horror movies and true life ghost stories. She is the author of Whispers in the Dark, Crossroads and Below, and co edited the charity anthology We Are Wolves as well as the Dead An Identity Horror Anthology. Her short fiction has appeared in several publications and you can keep up with her work at her website, which is laurel hightower.com and laurel is spelled L A U R e l and Hightower is H I G H T o w e r.com Anyway, that's the book club and we've got a special treat for you next week, but I'm not going to tell you what it is because you're going to have to wait. And don't worry. In my heart, every month is spooky month. Bye everyone. It Could Happen Here as a production of Cool Zone Media. For more podcasts from Cool Zone Media, visit our website coolzone media.com or check us out on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts. You can find sources for It Could Happen Here updated monthly@coolzonemedia.com sources thanks for listening. Pro drivers live for race day, but for small business owners, every day is race day. That's that's why going pro with Lenovo Pro matters One on one advice IT solutions and customized hardware powered by Intel Core Ultra processors keep your business on the right track. Business goes pro with Lenovo Pro Sign up for free@lenovo.com pro.
Jacob Goldstein
This is Jacob Goldstein from what's yous Problem? Business software is expensive, and when you buy software from lots of different companies, it's not only expensive, it gets confusing. Slow to use, hard to integrate. Odoo solves that, because all Odoo software is connected on a single affordable platform. Save money without missing out on the features you need. Odoo has no hidden costs and no limit on features or data. Odoo has over 60 apps available for any needs your business might have, all at no additional charge. Everything from websites to sales to inventory to accounting. All linked and talking to each other. Check out Odoo at o d o o.com that's o d o o.com the.
NFL Announcer
NFL International games continue on NFL Network and here our stars come out in the morning. Week 10, Bajan Robinson and the Falcons take on Daniel Jones and the Colts in Berlin.
Matt Rogers
Fireworks in the fourth quarter.
NFL Announcer
Then in week 11, Jaden Daniels and the Commanders face Tua and the Dolphins in Madrid. Snooze off. Game on. It's Sunday morning Football continues November 9th at 9:30 Eastern only on NFL Network.
Land.com Ad Narrator
You ever feel that deep pull to the land to know it, to build something that lasts, that itch for your own wild country? Well, it ain't just a daydream in 2025. It matters more than ever. Whether you're a lifelong hunter or just starting out, dreaming of land to explore, to leave something real. Or there is a trailhead where you can start. It's called land.com the biggest online network for rural property. Find the right agent and explore everything from timber tracks to ranches. Get the tools you need to buy that dream generational property. Stop dreaming about it and head to land.
Ad Reader 2
Com.
Land.com Ad Narrator
It's your place to find your open space.
Podcast Host
This is an iHeart podcast.
Date: October 26, 2025
Host: Cool Zone Media
Episode Theme:
This episode of the CZM Book Club brings listeners a tongue-in-cheek reading and discussion of Laurel Hightower's "Fck This Sht Manor," a satirical haunted house story. The host celebrates spooky season with a blend of humor and sharp social commentary, highlighting genre tropes and class analysis within modern horror.
The absurdly low rent is suspicious, while “caretaking for Mama in the attic” kills appeal.
Advertising in local free papers only targets the working class, who are too streetwise to fall for “too good to be true” offers, especially those who've endured hardship.
Lottie prescribes targeted social media ads and suggests going after "entitled" rather than poor tenants:
The episode closes with the host reflecting on the story’s social critique:
The host praises the story’s clever subversion and its nod to real-life realities for low-income people, noting that “ghosts gotta eat,” but times have changed.
The host delivers a fast-paced, witty, and incisive exploration of both horror tropes and contemporary class realities, making "Fck This Sht Manor" a ghost story not just for Spooky Month, but for an age of inflation, gig work, and scam-riddled rental markets.
“Don’t worry. In my heart, every month is spooky month.” (Host, 36:05)
For more episodes and full sources, visit CoolZoneMedia.com or find "It Could Happen Here" on your usual podcast provider.