CZM Book Club: Pathfinder: Dawn of the Frogs, Part Six

Summary

It Could Happen Here – CZM Book Club: Pathfinder: Dawn of the Frogs, Part Six

Date: December 7, 2025
Host/GM: Jason
Players: Margaret ("Spite"), Trant, Squash, Hazel ("Murdy")
Context: Conclusion of the Dawn of the Frogs Pathfinder RPG campaign arc. The adventurers invade the dam to defeat the Boggard cult and free the villagers.

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Episode Overview

This final session is the dramatic conclusion of the "Dawn of the Frogs" adventure, where the party descends into the dam built by the frog-like Boggard cultists. The group is tasked with rescuing the remaining villagers, destroying the dam, and confronting the Boggards' terrifying leader, all while grappling with themes of friendship, violence, and revolution—plus plenty of food and bomb-related shenanigans.

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Key Discussion & Gameplay Segments

1. Campaign Recap & Character Introductions

[02:29–09:41]

• Summary: The party has returned villagers from captivity, but their memories are gone due to a poisonous mind-dulling fungus. After curing them, new intel reveals the Boggards are forcing the population to build a great dam, threatening Bog Bottom with flooding. The heroes must infiltrate the dam, save the captives, and destroy the structure.
• Notable Quotes:
  • “Maybe the real soup was the bombs we threw along the way.” – Murdy [09:45]
  • “What’s the point of making bombs if you’re not also making friends? That’s true.” – Jason [09:41]

2. Healing, Looting, and Existential Musings

[10:01–13:36]

• Summary:
  Before entering the dam, the party heals up and debates the metaphysics of cages, violence, and revolution—riffing on philosophers (reality as “cages,” Spite Foucault).
• Notable Quotes:
  • “What if everything is like cages? I think I’ve read a philosopher called…” – Spite [12:22]
  • “Is your name Spite Foucault?” – Squash [12:27]

3. Infiltrating the Dam & Rescuing Villagers

[13:36–20:32]

• Summary:
  The party navigates the claustrophobic dam tunnels, encountering foggy-brained villagers still in thrall to the “great work.” Through inventive use of soup diplomacy and comedic lies about “farm soup,” they feed and free three villagers, starting to break the cult’s hold.
• Notable Quotes:
  • “Oh, so it’s farm soup.” – Villager [17:05]
  • “They weren’t immune to dying.” – Trant, about the Boggard cult [19:00]

4. The Barracks Battle: Boggard Brawl

[21:37–48:26]

• Summary:
  The party confronts four Boggards in their barracks. The fight is chaotic and comical—Jason’s dice never seem to favor the enemies, resulting in a slapstick flurry of missed attacks from the Boggards. Player characters comment on technique and maintain banter throughout the battle.
• Notable Quotes:
  • “My dice have been bad…for this entire campaign!” – Jason [34:01]
  • “That poor Boggard…you responded by just caving in the side of his head.” – Jason [35:30]
  • “100% of the Boggards you don’t hit in the head.” – Trant [46:27]

5. Search, Loot, and Preparations for the Swampseer

[53:05–60:29]

• Summary:
  After the battle, the party thoroughly loots the barracks, trading jokes about culinary tools and offering each other various knives and cheese knives. They find Oil of Potency and the vital anti-acid paste, painting themselves in anticipation of magical attacks.
• Notable Quotes:
  • “You’ve been having issues, but will this help you?” – Spite, finding the Oil of Potency [57:16]
  • “I’m getting all slippery with this…” – Squash, covering self with paste [59:45]
• Timestamps:
  • Oil of Potency discovery: [57:16]
  • Anti-acid paste prep: [59:03–59:54]

6. Defusing the Trap at the Frog Skull Door

[60:29–64:13]

• Summary:
  The group deftly disables a classic pressure plate trap in front of the ominous frog skull door, showing off teamwork and tool wisdom.
• Notable Quotes:
  • “I think we got a pressure plate situation, my dudes.” – Squash [62:18]
  • “The party that defaces demonic runes together stays together.” – Jason [54:45]

7. Final Showdown: Swampseer Dzungr

[64:13–101:27]

• Summary:
  The Swampseer unleashes acid and devastating sonic croaks across a hazardous sluiceway. After contending with panic-inducing war cries, magical claws, and a near-TPK (Total Party Kill), the party rallies with healing teamwork.

• Notable Quotes:

  • “I could do this all day. Well, like, not all day all day, but like, probably 20 times.” – Spite (after acid attack) [69:33]
  • “There’s no rules that says a dog can’t wake up from being dead and fuck up a frog.” – Jason, justifying Squash’s panache after revival [94:57]
  • “Don’t put my friends into unconscious mode!” – Spite, attacking Swampseer [91:23]
  • “Your blade slices into Dzungar… They are now bleeding horrifically…” – Jason [96:50]

• Combat Highlights:

  • Squash is dropped to 0 HP, revived, and lands a huge finishing blow.
  • Spite powers up the magic morningstar with Oil of Potency, finishes the cult leader:
    “You bring the morning star down on the back of Zunger’s head and the Frog Cultist collapses to the ground in a pool of its own blood…the Goguntan cult has come to an end.” – Jason [101:27]

8. Destruction of the Dam & Triumphant Return

[101:27–107:17]

• Summary:
  Trant finally gets to set the Chekov’s Jar bomb, blowing up the dam in a flurry of looting, teamwork/“Scooby Doo montage” antics. The group escapes the collapsing dam, and the remaining villagers are saved as Bog Bottom is freed. The heroes are rewarded at a raucous village festival and leave behind the seeds of new “soup” and “bomb” cults for the next generation.
• Notable Quotes:
  • “You cannot cage what is wild.” – Spite [106:42]
  • “Let’s get you home, old timer.” – Murdy [109:55]
• Timestamps:
  • Dam destroyed [105:51–106:32]
  • Village festival and awards [107:17–108:54]

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Memorable Moments & Player Banter

• Comedic Violence & Ethics:
  • The group oscillates between philosophical exploration (“What is a cage?”) and gleeful embrace of cartoonish violence.
• Roleplaying Quips:
  • Trant’s delight in blowing things up, Murdy’s soup metaphors, Spite’s dry humor and leadership, Squash’s dog boy hijinks.
• Running Gags:
  • Jokes about “Food & Bombs,” soup cults, weaponizing culinary tools, and Boggards’ terrible luck/missed attacks.
• Meta-Commentary:
  • Frequent out-of-character riffling on RPG mechanics, dice luck, and the Game Master’s storytelling:
    “Listen, sometimes when you’re a GM, you have performance anxiety and the dice don’t go your way.” – Jason [47:53]

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Final Reflection and Wrap-Up

[108:54–End]

• The campaign wraps on a high note with everyone alive (barely), a dam blown sky-high, new traditions founded, and a fond farewell.
  • “I am shocked that you… I’m not shocked at all. It makes a lot of sense that you’re an incredibly good adventure writer.” – Spite (to GM Jason) [110:47]
  • “All of Bog Bottom has come together for a massive festival. The elders have decided to commemorate this day as the Feast of Heroes…” – Jason [107:17]
• Calls to Audience: The table encourages listeners to share their love and hopes for future games.
  • “If you all like this, maybe there’ll be more.” – Spite [111:06]
  • “Tell your dog. Tell the mayor. Tell your mom.” – Squash [111:22]
  • “If you’re mad about any rules that I specifically messed up…whisper them into a bottle and then throw it into the ocean.” – Squash [111:35]

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Important Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamp (MM:SS) | |---------|------------------| | Recap & Character Intros | 02:29–09:41 | | Healing & Philosophizing | 10:01–13:36 | | Rescuing Villagers | 13:36–20:32 | | Boggard Barracks Battle | 21:37–48:26 | | Looting & Prepping | 53:05–60:29 | | Trap Disarmed | 60:29–64:13 | | Swampseer Boss Fight | 64:13–101:27 | | Dam Destruction | 101:27–107:17 | | Village Festival & Farewell | 107:17–end |

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Tone & Style

This session is bursting with irreverent humor, meta-commentary, and warmth. Violence and chaos are balanced with tenderness and a sense of community, matching the podcast’s “optimism-in-the-ruins” ethos.

There’s unfiltered celebration of both tabletop role-playing absurdity and the earnest bonds forged through collective story-making.

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CONCLUSION

Dawn of the Frogs ends triumphantly with the Cool Zone Media Book Club’s adventurers freeing a village, toppling a dam (and a cult), and leaving a legacy of soup, bombs, and wild-hearted revolution. The conclusion radiates a sense of accomplishment, camaraderie, and hope for future adventures—on the table and beyond.

Recommended to listeners for:

• Comedy and banter
• Clever roleplaying and group dynamics
• Satisfying campaign closure with lots of heart

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Final Notable Quote:
"Maybe the real soup was the bombs we threw along the way." – Murdy, [09:45]

Transcript

[Murdy]

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[Jason (Game Master)]

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[Jason (Game Master)]

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Call Zone Media.

[Spite]

Dawn of Frogs dawn of Frogs dawn of Frogs.

Food and Bombs Food and Bombs.

[Trant]

Food and Bombs.

[Spite]

Hello and welcome to Food and Bombs, the only tabletop role playing game campaign that does everything in its title as well as being actually called dawn of the Frogs, but you know, subtitled in our hearts. I'm sort of your host, Margaret Killjoy. This is the Tabletop role playing takeover of Cool Zone Media Book Club. And if you are like, but I am tired of this. I just want regular books back. I have good news for you. And if you're like, but I love the Tabletop role playing content and you should do more of it, I don't have news for you, but this is the last episode of dawn of Frogs. What will the future hold? We don't know. What will happen when we invade the dam? We don't know. But I'm gonna pass it over to Jason now.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Hey there everybody. This is indeed the final dawn of the Frogs. That's right. It all comes down to this. When we last left our intrepid band of adventurers, four heroes. You're starting to feel a lot like heroes have washed up on the shore of the north side of the Isle of Kortos in a small town called Bog Bottom. There you have been helping the villagers. First, you helped them recover some villagers that have been kidnapped from an old mill. But upon returning them to town, you learn that their memories were foggy, vacant, gone. They had no memory of their life in town. They you then ventured out to find an antidote to the poison that plagued them, given to them by their bargained captives. To make their minds dull, to make them eager to work on something called their great work. You spent an entire day out in the swamp gathering ingredients, bringing it back to the town's healer, Ledrusa, who brewed up a remedy to cure the villagers and bring them back to themselves. It was only then that the villagers said that the Boggards demanded that they go out into the swamp and continue working on some great edifice. The town, in response, worried about this threat, sent scouting parties out. Those scouting parties returned only to report their findings. A great dam was being constructed at the edge of the swamp, raising the water level, threatening to drown the entire town of Bog Bottom. Your services were called upon one last time to venture out to the dam to rescue the villagers that were trapped within and to destroy the dam at any cost.

You spent a day traveling out to the massive stone and mud edifice being constructed at the edge of the Dunmire swamp. There you saw Boggards overseeing the work of captive humans. You came up with a cunning plan to lure some of the Boggards away, but in the end, you just kind of toss that aside and bum rushed the place. You killed a bunch of Boggards. You jumped down off of dams, crushing one of them. You threw fire into their watchtower. You pretty much just Caused chaos and panic across the dam. But most importantly, the three villagers you recovered have been given the antidote, and they are safe. The Boggards up on the dam have all been slain or driven away. You're not sure about that, Boggard scout. He fell down into the swamp and he didn't come back. And now all that stands before you is the opening that leads down into the dam, into the darkness. But one of the townsfolk gave you a warning. He said their leader was terrible. He had a terrifying voice, and he was guarded by a deadly trap. Beware the frog skull is all he could remember. And that is where we left off. And we will pick up right after that moment. But before we do, I'm gonna toss it around the horn one last time for everybody to introduce themselves and their character. Robert, we'll start with you.

[Trant]

Well, my name's Trant, and, you know, I've always thought of myself as a mad bomber. I love making explosives. I love detonating explosives. I love watching people explode. But just a few minutes ago, I stabbed a creature in the throat and watched it die at a horrific, grisly death. And it felt amazing. And I'm kind of going through, like, a moral crisis now, to be honest. I certainly shouldn't be alone right now. I don't know if I'm gonna be okay.

Boss.

[Spite]

Well, I'm Spite, and I think you're gonna be just fine, because you did the right thing. And sometimes violence is the right thing. And I'm having a little bit of trouble hearing you, though, because I am Spite. I wear a lot of armor, and I was named after one of the virtues. But I'm having trouble hearing people because on my helmet, where I keep a crown of candles on them, I use some of the candle wax, and I ripped off a little piece of my clothing, and I stuffed wax and fabric into my ears.

[Jason (Game Master)]

After hearing about the terrifying croak, you're already taking precautions. Understood. Understood.

[Spite]

Yeah, I just don't really like loud noises. They make me distracted.

[Trant]

Yeah, I get what you're saying, boss. If you cut someone's throat and there's enough pressure behind the carotid artery, it's kind of like a grenade going off. So it's fine that I enjoyed it.

[Spite]

Yes, because they were a bad person.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Boy, we're all learning something here today, Aya. What have you learned?

[Squash]

What have I learned? I learned that I'm also going to pull an Odysseus and put a bunch of bullshit in my ears as well, just because I saw Spite doing it. But that's mist besides the point. You got IO on the line. I'm a they them, thanks for asking, but really, I'm a vessel for squash. Squash is. He's a willful, naughty little dog boy whose narrative arc I'm kind of just now figuring out. I've decided he's kind of like a. Like a he him bimbo. And isn't that fun?

[Spite]

Like a himbo.

[Jason (Game Master)]

A what?

[Spite]

A himbo.

[Trant]

But the French spelling. So it's H, I, M, B, E, A, U, X. Yeah, that's my last name.

[Squash]

He's kind of like if a member of the Bonet gang was a dog or if, like, you know, Stalin in his bank robbing years was like, you know, fucking just cool about it. But these guys busted him out of prison and now he's just having fun with his friends.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right, last and certainly not least, Hazel, who are you playing?

[Murdy]

Hi, I'm Hazel and I'm playing Sister Murdragon of Bow Merity, the Souped on.

I came into this anticipating that I was gonna play like grizzled nun. And I think she's coming out of retirement. I think she's realizing that it's kind of fun to hang around the young kids who blow stuff up. And she also doesn't know what to do with this about herself. She's here discovering new things, having fun. You can have fun. It turns out. That's not all just soup and hating everything.

[Squash]

This is why I keep telling you guys.

[Trant]

That's the first lesson at bomb maker school.

[Squash]

Just have fun out there.

[Spite]

Make friends.

[Jason (Game Master)]

What's the point of making bombs if you're not also making friends? That's true.

[Murdy]

Maybe the real soup was the bombs we threw along the way.

[Spite]

Food and bombs. Can we take 10 minutes before we go down into this hole so I can really just heal myself and then think about and refocus, get my focus back on.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Sure. Let me just set the scene. Spite. You were down on the docks, but it's easy enough to get back up. You can grab the little raft and go over to the shore. You know, paddle across. Because you're down at the bottom of the dam after having jumped off and crushed a Boggard to death.

[Spite]

Yeah, I am looting first before I leave the body of the Boggart.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Sure.

[Spite]

I'm looting everyone.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah. So you can easily kind of spend some time healing up. The scene is that everybody's kind of gathering up at the top of this dam. Now. The dam is between two large hills and it's Kind of blocking up the main estuary out of the swamp. So the waters have been rising. The dock that you were on clearly looks just temporary and is kind of floating as the waters rise because it's on the water side and everyone's kind of gathering up at the top near the watchtower. Because next to the watchtower there is a set of stairs going down into the structure of the dam itself. So you can spend a few minutes healing and regaining your focus points as you use lay on hands. That's no problem. So, yeah, I think you were the only one that got hurt.

[Murdy]

No, I need to also heal and potentially a lot.

[Trant]

I got hit a lot, but yeah, no damage.

[Murdy]

Someone whacked me.

[Spite]

Oh, that's right.

[Murdy]

Eight points. I'm casting the two action version of Heal onto myself, which is gonna heal for 1d8 plus 8.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So that's definitely gonna get you up to full.

[Murdy]

It's going to get me up to full. I'm not going to bother rolling on it otherwise, I'm just rolling 1D8.

[Jason (Game Master)]

And that's no fun and spite. You're using your lay on hands on yourself.

[Spite]

Yeah, I'm using both because I have two focus points. I'm going to use both. And So I need 20 minutes to really just think about everything and commune with nature. And I've been thinking a lot about maybe they also shouldn't put cages on rivers.

[Murdy]

That's so true, bestie.

[Trant]

Yeah. And what is the skin of someone's throat but a cage keeping their blood inside? You know, I've been thinking a lot about this, boss. I think really this might be a good new avenue for me.

[Murdy]

I know I said I was coming out of retirement. I think I'm back in retirement.

[Spite]

What if everything is like cages? I think I've read a philosopher called.

[Squash]

Is your name Spite Foucault?

[Spite]

Yeah.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Just cages all the way down.

[Trant]

I think I read that in a book by a guy named Rene decut.

That one wasn't good.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Somewhere deep, deep down in the bottom, there's a Nicholas.

[Spite]

Anyway, and revolution isn't free, so I am also looting.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Sure. Frankly, the Boggart Guards really don't have much on them in the way of gear. They've got clubs and slings and stuff like that. They really don't have much on them.

[Spite]

Oh, and the good one got away. Okay.

[Jason (Game Master)]

And the good one sunk down into the swamp.

[Spite]

Yeah, I'll be dredging that later.

[Jason (Game Master)]

You can see the sluice way. Right. So built into a dam. Right. You've got to have Some sluiceways that allow overflow water, that allows you to control the water level. Otherwise it'll eventually go all the way up to the top and spill over the top of the dam, which will eventually erode into for the dam. So this dam does have a sluiceway built into it, but it doesn't look like everything about it's complete. It doesn't look like the framing around it's complete and stuff, but it's at the waterline and kind of hard to access. So whatever you're going to do to it, you probably have to do from inside the dam, not on the outside.

[Spite]

Well, should we go down into the damn.

[Trant]

I can't think of any other options.

[Spite]

I'm going to light the candles on my helmet.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right.

[Spite]

And then walk down like St. Lucy.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Alright. So the tunnel walls inside the dam are made from dried mud, rough hewn timber, rocks and branches that form an arch shaped ceiling. An oily fish smell hangs in the air alongside the stench of rotting fungus and smoke. Water runs along the floor in small channels, flowing down into larger puddles and drains that keep the place from flooding. It's become pretty clear that even after going down the main staircase, you are probably below the water line of the swamp already. The staircase you were on kind of spiraled down quite a bit before it emptied out into one small squat chamber. Now the light that you have on you is illuminating 10, 15ft in any direction. It's not a lot of light, but it is enough to see by. You're in pretty tight, confined corridors. You can kind of squeeze and move through, but it's not a super maneuverable place down here. It's a little claustrophobic and stinks really bad. The smell in here, it's lots of rotting fish and kind of oily smoke.

[Spite]

I also have the waxen fabric on my nostrils. I'm just mouth breathing.

Can I walk at half speed with my shield up?

[Jason (Game Master)]

Sure you want to take the lead?

[Spite]

Spite doesn't even question the fact that she's taking the lead.

[Trant]

I'll get behind Spite. Grenade in one hand, pistol in the other.

[Murdy]

I also have my shield raised and behind Spite.

[Jason (Game Master)]

You're gonna have to kind of go single file at least here for a little bit. The tunnel is very narrow.

[Murdy]

Yeah, it was whatever.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So Spite, Trant, Murty and it looks like squash. You're bringing up the rear.

[Squash]

Yeah, I'm walking backwards. I'm watching the rear.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right. Well, the winding tunnel leads you deeper and deeper into the depths of this dam. And up ahead, you notice that in one wall of the passage, as it twists and kind of turns around, you see a small chamber. A wooden gate held in place by a knotted length of rope blocks the way into a cramped chamber lit by oily torches packed full of straw mats and filthy clothes left out to dry. Inside languish several villagers who look about with confusion on their face. As you approach. They ask where their bargained friends are and if anyone is willing to help them in completing the great work.

[Spite]

I think you have to have your strength up. But you need to eat some soup.

[Trant]

Yeah. And your friends are in a farm.

Away from here. A nice, real, really nice farm.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Are you trying to tell them that you sent the Boggarts to a farm upstate?

[Trant]

A nice farm?

[Jason (Game Master)]

Oh, it's very nice.

[Squash]

They can run and play.

[Trant]

Yeah.

[Jason (Game Master)]

But the Boggarts said that we would be getting to work more on the great work. We're so excited to work on the great work. There are three villagers in here, by the way.

[Murdy]

You'll need to keep your strength up to work on the great work. We're bringing soup from the Boggarts, who.

[Trant]

Are again at a farm.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Oh, so it's farm soup.

[Squash]

It's farm soup. This guy gets it.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Geez, that sounds like code word for poison. So can one of you give me a diplomacy check? He could be the person with the best diplomacy. That's fine.

[Spite]

I've got a four.

[Murdy]

I've got five. Oh, I rolled a five on my die. Do we want to hero point that? How important does this feel?

[Jason (Game Master)]

Just like in our last session. The first roll of the game is burning a hero point. I mean, it's up to you.

[Spite]

I think that that's a total of 11 with guidance.

[Murdy]

I cast guidance on myself.

[Spite]

And then. Can I assist?

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah, you could give me a diplomacy check. It is kind of a shared effort with everybody being like, no, you want some soup?

[Spite]

I rolled a 14 plus 4 for 18 for my assist.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So with that and the bonus that I'm giving you because you're offering them delicious soup.

[Murdy]

It smells like roasted lizard. It's really yummy.

[Jason (Game Master)]

The villagers take the soup and they're like, okay, well, if the Boggarts said that we should have it. And they immediately kind of pass the soup around and begin eating. They kind of shake their heads and slowly clear that the fog is lifting rather quickly. One of the women in the cage says, my name is Queldrana. How long have we been here? I don't remember being brought here.

[Trant]

That doesn't feel like A real name? I whisper to other members of the group.

[Spite]

Well, does the list that we have, did they tell us how long each person's been gone or anything?

[Jason (Game Master)]

No, it didn't include it. But people have been disappearing for several weeks, so.

[Spite]

Well, you could have been here for weeks.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Have you come to rescue us? Yeah. No.

[Squash]

Maybe.

[Spite]

Nah, I came to rescue you. These people are busy with other important work. Our own great work as it is.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Oh, you must be careful. These Boggards, they're enthralled to some powerful leader named Zunger.

[Trant]

We don't need to worry about that. Because the Boggarts made one crucial mistake. They weren't immune to dying.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yes, they're certainly aware of that. Dzungr goes into furious rages and often turns his powerful magics on the other Boggards.

[Squash]

That's no good.

[Trant]

What kind of magics?

[Jason (Game Master)]

Powerful. His magic causes horrible burns. Not like fire, but still scorches the flesh like acid. Some of the Boggards even have taken to rubbing themselves with some foul smelling oily fungus paste to protect themselves from Dzungur's wrath.

[Squash]

Why do they put up with Dzungr?

[Spite]

And where do they keep that fungus paste?

[Jason (Game Master)]

Queldrana shrugs. They don't let us out of here unless they take us up above to work. We don't know anything about the rest of the caves.

[Spite]

Oh, you should go join your friends.

[Squash]

Oh, I'll let you out.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Trust me, there's nothing I would like more than to be gone from this place.

[Murdy]

Oh yeah, you just head back that way. First stairs on the left.

[Trant]

Mind the corpses.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Queldrana looks to all of you and says, we are in your debt. I will lead the others to safety. We will wait nearby. Do you have a barge or.

[Spite]

Yeah, we came on a pole barge probably.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah, we'll wait for you there. After you open up the gate. Queldrana and the other two quickly gather up their remaining belongings and frankly, beat a pretty hasty retreat. They get out of here.

They are not interested in hanging around at all.

[Spite]

Well, we're out of antidote, but there's probably still two civilians left. So we're gonna have to knock them unconscious and carry them up.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Well, as you're leaving, Poldrana says be mindful if you find any remains. I know that some of the villagers didn't make it.

[Squash]

Oh, perfect.

[Trant]

Oh, easy. Get out of not murdering people. Free card, guys.

[Jason (Game Master)]

No worries folks. The Boggards did it.

[Spite]

I'm sorry for your loss.

[Jason (Game Master)]

It is as if it were a nightmare.

[Trant]

Nightmare.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Now will Take us some time to recover.

[Spite]

Oh, you'll never fully recover. You'll be thinking about those people forever.

[Murdy]

That soup has got healing, though, so you should be at full hit points.

[Jason (Game Master)]

But you've got a belly full of soup. So you got soup.

[Squash]

You win some, you lose some.

[Murdy]

Promises of a rastal.

[Spite]

We continue.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right.

[Spite]

For the audience who can't see this as a very claustrophobic. It was accurately described as a claustrophobic tunnel.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah, it is a very narrow, winding tunnel that leads through the kind of interior of this dam. So you kind of take stock of the area around you, and there's really only one way to go, and that's to kind of follow the tunnel further in. I'm gonna go ahead and advance, folks, as they are moving kind of down these tunnels. So the stench of rotting fish is almost overpowering. In this broad chamber, a simple cooking pit with benches arrayed around it sits in the middle of the room. Beyond are sleeping nooks carved into the mud walls where small personal effects are held in nets and leather sacks. Clearly, this is some sort of boggard barracks opposite the entrance, carved into the wall is a massive glyph like those seen on the foreheads of some of the bokkards, right above another passageway that leads into darkness. Now, I should note my description left out four things. Those four things are the four boggards that are sitting in this room around the cooking fire looking pretty mad that you have entered their domain.

[Spite]

I think it left out the description. Missed five things. The fifth thing that's around this fire is ads.

[Trainer Games Announcer]

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You are the fittest of the fit.

[Trant]

Only.

[Trainer Games Announcer]

Only one of you will leave here with an IFIT contract for $250,000.

[Spite]

This is where mindset comes in.

[Trainer Games Announcer]

Someone will be eliminated.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Pressure is coming down.

[Trainer Games Announcer]

This is trainer games.

[Spite]

Watch it on prime video.

[Trainer Games Announcer]

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[Spite]

Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. One of the perks about having four kids that you know about is actually getting a direct line to the big man up north. And this year, he wants you to know the best gift that you can.

[Trant]

Give someone is the gift of Mint.

[Spite]

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[Jason (Game Master)]

Now you don't even need to wrap it.

[Spite]

Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment.

[Trainer Games Announcer]

Of $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required new customer.

[Murdy]

Offer for first three months only.

[Trainer Games Announcer]

Speed slow after 35 gigabytes. If network's busy, taxes and fees extra.

[Jason (Game Master)]

See mint mobile.com high key looking for your next obsession? Listen to High Key, a bold, joyful, unfiltered culture podcast coming at you every Friday. Now my question, this game of mafia that we're going to play, are you going to do better than me? Say it now. Duh. Period. I'm going to eat. You going to do better than me? I'm going to eat. Yes. I literally will. Ryan will. I cannot wait till we both team up and get you out and then one of us gets the other out because we didn't realize they were a traitor the whole time and you were actually an innocent. Y' all won't even know that I'm a traitor. This is going to be delicious. Well, thank you for coming to our show. And on that note, thank you for coming to my Show.

Listen to High Key on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Spite]

And we're back.

Oh, that's a lot of boggers.

[Jason (Game Master)]

I say, as I said, there are four boggards in this chamber and they do not at all look happy to see you. All of them have this symbol on their forehead, which, if you recall last time you identified the symbol as the demon glyph of Gogunta, the frog demon of decay that is oftentimes venerated by boggard cults. So we're gonna do a little something I like to call initiative.

[Squash]

Never heard of it.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Well, it's a new thing. It involves putting you in order so that we can determine who gets to act when? So I'm gonna go around and ask everybody to roll me a perception check for initiative, and we will get this thing kicked off.

[Murdy]

Oh, my God. I'm so ready to have a food fight, y'. All. I've built a whole character around this bit.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Finally. It's finally going to pay off.

[Murdy]

Yeah.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right, so I'm going to go around and ask for everybody's initiative. Squash, what do you got?

[Squash]

I got a five plus five for a total of ten.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Oh, my God. Despite. What do you got?

[Spite]

I got a 9 plus 4 for a total of 13. I should have used my lucky die instead of my unlucky die.

[Jason (Game Master)]

I don't want to jinx it, but it's. Is this the first time I'm gonna actually have my bad guys win? Initiative, Trance, what do you got?

[Trant]

Well, I got a natural 20.

[Jason (Game Master)]

No, I guess not.

I jinxed it.

[Trant]

What do I add to that? Is that just perception?

[Jason (Game Master)]

Perception.

[Trant]

That's 25.

[Spite]

No one gets the drop on Trance. That is what we are learning.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah, that'll learn me. Merty, what do you have?

[Murdy]

I got an 18 plus. 7 is also 25 if we're choosing choosing who goes first. I did save my bless spell for inside the dam, so I can give everybody a buff, including the tramp. Unless you have something that is advantageous.

[Jason (Game Master)]

To go ahead of that.

[Trant]

No, I love buffs.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right, well, I definitely spoke too soon, because the both of you are going to go before them. Murdy. Up in the flickering darkness, you can see these boggards getting up off the ground, drawing their weapons. These do look like the workers you saw up above. Certainly dangerous, but not quite as dangerous as the scouts and bosses that you've seen before. What do you do?

[Spite]

Is this your only bless?

[Murdy]

Yeah, it is my only bless. Oh, actually, yeah. Do we want to. I know that I made a big shtick about it. Do we want to save that for the last fight?

[Spite]

That would be my guess.

[Murdy]

That's probably true. Trent, do you want to go instead?

[Trant]

Absolutely.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Okay. All right, so Trant's gonna go first. You are up. You can see all these boggarts. A bunch of them are kind of clustered right near one another.

[Trant]

Yeah. I'm gonna throw right into the middle of those two that are next to each other, which I think is my best spot for hitting more than one person.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah. Here's the thing. If you hit this guy in the back here, kind of on the other side of the fire pit, you can hit him, and the splash will hit the two next to it. That's kind of the best thing you could do.

[Trant]

Let's fucking go.

All right. And I rolled a four.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Are you happy with that four? Because it's not a particularly good roll.

[Trant]

It's not a particularly good roll, but I used my hero point, although unnecessarily, because the first roll hit.

[Spite]

I think we got new hero points, right?

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah. So everybody's getting their hero point back.

[Trant]

Oh, well, then I'll use a hero point. Unless the 10 hits.

[Jason (Game Master)]

I don't think it does. No, it's not gonna do it.

[Spite]

I rolled a four again.

[Trant]

So we're good.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Well, fate has officially decided that you are gonna miss with this attack. You throw it and it goes behind the boggart, smashing on the floor. It bursts into flames and does a small amount of damage to the boggart. It does one point. The splash damage still hits the bugger. That was your target. But that is all terrible gonna do. Now, that said, that was only one action for you because you're a quick bomber. So you do still have two more.

[Trant]

I've got my pistol in hand and I'm gonna shoot one of those boggers in the face.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right?

[Trant]

And I'm not. I rolled a two.

[Jason (Game Master)]

No, that's pretty bad. All right, well, you can reload.

[Trant]

Yeah, I will reload. Yeah.

[Jason (Game Master)]

That would be the end of trance Turn. All right, Murdy, I'm gonna pull a.

[Murdy]

Classic and I'm gonna run into the chamber up to that first boggart. I'm gonna raise my shield and I'm gonna whack him with my charm soup ladle and yell it's a bucket food fight.

I rolled a 19 plus 4 because I have that plus 1. So it's 23.

[Spite]

Oh, so close to a crit.

[Jason (Game Master)]

A 23 is a solid hit, just shy of a critical. But go ahead and roll damage.

[Murdy]

All right. Can I roll max damage? That's an eight.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah, you smash that boggart right in the face. He is really badly hurt, but he's still standing. You moved, raised your shield and bashed. So I think your turn is done. So the Boggards go. This could get messy. All right, first boggard that is standing right next to you, Murty, is going to swing at you with its club armor. Class of 14, I think is gonna miss.

[Murdy]

That misses Jason.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Oof. Well, it's gonna swing again. And I rolled a natural one, so that's definitely gonna miss. And with nothing better to do, I might as well swing a third time. Yeah, that Boggard must be Seeing stars. You hit him in the forehead with the soup ladle. He starts swinging wildly around but does not manage to connect. But that's okay because there's another Boggart who's going to spend his first action to move second action to swing his club at you. That's gonna miss.

Swinging wildly in this cramped chamber. His club kind of hit the ceiling and clipped off that missing entirely.

Second attack is gonna miss as well. The next Boggard is. There are four of them. Goodness comes bounding up and is going to attack Murty again.

[Murdy]

Okay, I'm doing well so far. I haven't even had to use my shield. Which by the way, the shield is a pot lid for all you, you know, all y' all at home.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right? And we've already established an armor class of 14 misses.

[Murdy]

14 misses, however. Oh, shit.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Finally.

I got one roll that wasn't terrible. That was a 19 plus 5. Minus 5 is going to be a 19. Does a 19 hit you, Murdy?

[Murdy]

A 19 will hit me.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Unfortunately.

The club comes descending down on you for three points of damage.

[Murdy]

All right. Well, no, it will not. Because my pot lid shield has a hardness of 5. So I do block all of that damage.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So you're gonna spend your reaction to shield block.

[Murdy]

I would like to do that. That, sir.

[Jason (Game Master)]

The frog is now full of frog sadness.

[Murdy]

Get better food safety practices.

[Jason (Game Master)]

One dream was to bash you with that club and now it's been denied.

[Spite]

That's probably the last dream they're ever gonna have.

[Jason (Game Master)]

The final Boggart is gonna come up and attack Spike because he saw his friends all attack Murty and was like, that's not working. I'll hit this easier target. Yeah, they're not easier to hit though.

[Murdy]

Really not.

[Spite]

He doesn't know that I can't use a shield react. So. I mean, my shield's up, but it's. I can't use the reaction.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So Boggart steps up in the shallow passage. Riveting. Menacingly. He brings his club down.

And I rolled the.

My dice have been bad. Not just for this. Not just for this combat. For this entire campaign.

[Spite]

Yeah, it's been impressively bad.

[Murdy]

We're subverting the dm.

[Trant]

Yeah.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah, I definitely feel subverted, that's for sure.

[Spite]

I hired SC wishes.

[Squash]

No gods, no game masters.

[Jason (Game Master)]

That's. You know what? That's fair.

We've had power long enough. My second attack is gonna miss as well. Because, you know, why change a pattern?

[Trant]

Yeah.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So the Boggards have a furious round of missing. If you didn't know, better you would think that they were trying to play some sort of song or something. Banging their clubs on the roof and the floor and anything but your skulls.

[Spite]

Yeah, I'm gonna offer advice. I'm like, well, actually, you gotta swing with the hips. If you swing with the hips, you can get more power out of the ground. I don't think whoever's in charge of you has been doing a very good job of being your warlord.

[Murdy]

Like, they put people in cages.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Oh, right, right. Suddenly you remember they put people in cages and fed them mind altering fungus.

[Spite]

Yes.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Fight. It's your turn.

[Spite]

Here, let me show you. I say, as I'm first going to hit the one directly in front of me. So I'm going to suggest that I have a method by which I can educate them. And I believe I will educate them this one into pulp. Because I rolled a 12 plus 8, which is a 20 to hit. And then I rolled max damage, which is an 8 plus 4 is a 12.

[Jason (Game Master)]

That poor Boggard went up to you, desperately tried to swing, missed pathetically, and you responded by just caving in the side of his head. That Boggard falls to the ground in a heap. The other three Boggards look at each other. Suddenly, the shared glances. Although they're frogs, you can't help but realize that they have an expression on their face that could be best summed up as, I have made a mistake.

[Spite]

I yell, you never should have joined the Cult of Gogurt. And then I swing at the next one. Oh, I rolled a five plus three is an eight.

[Jason (Game Master)]

No, it's not going to do it.

[Spite]

But I'm so annoyed. Annoyed that I swing again.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Why bother raising a shield? They can't hit for nothing.

[Spite]

Yeah. Oh, I forgot that I could erase a shield. I sure rolled a three that time. So that's a one. Modified.

[Jason (Game Master)]

See, now they've taught you something, which is how to miss all the time. Yeah, you swing wildly. The Morningstar flailing here and about, but does not manage to land with the second boggart, who is ducking in terror.

[Spite]

Yeah, sure wish I raised the shield. Okay, that's my turn.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Squash, we are up to you. You are in the back, furthest away from the fight, but I will remind you, you can move through your fellow players.

[Squash]

I'm gonna move through my fellow players and I'm gonna do it in a really flashy way, like wall run. Like, I'm gonna wall run. I'm gonna do some spins around people's shoulders. I'm gonna like, give everyone a little Kiss on the cheek as I, like, spin it around, and then I, like, do a little backflip and, like, Ta da.

[Jason (Game Master)]

I will remind you that I think you can use acrobatics to move through enemy spaces, which gives you panache.

[Squash]

Jason, you've got ahead of me. I'm trying to do that. Exactly. Actually, you know, I want to land with my little ta da, and I say, like, oh, you guys into Go Gunter. And I'm just gonna look for some recognition on their face.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right, so first, give me the acrobatics check to tumble through the boggart space.

[Squash]

It's a total of a 12.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Total of a 12. So you attempt to tumble through the boggart space, but unfortunately, you kind of run into the boggart and get bounced out to the side, which means you don't get panached because you did not manage to tumble through its space.

[Squash]

Oh, that's okay. There's more turns left.

[Jason (Game Master)]

That's true. You have one action left.

[Squash]

Oh, that took up two.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah, you move slower when you tumble through spaces.

[Squash]

Well, rats. I shouldn't have been so flashy just to impress my friends.

[Jason (Game Master)]

That also gives you a pretty big bonus when you get panache.

[Squash]

So, yeah, don't worry, listeners. That panache is coming. Did I already say try and do my, like. Oh, you guys into. I'm just trying to see if I can catch them a little off guard.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Well, you speak at them, but you're pretty sure that they don't understand common. Or if they do, they're not giving any indication.

[Squash]

Well, I did my best, and I shoot the one closest to me.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right, make an attack roll.

[Squash]

That's a 24 total. 17.

[Spite]

7.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Wow. You really do shoot him right in the face. You're not sure if he can understand comma, but the word Go Gunther may have got his attention. Attention is he kind of looks straight at you, and then you shot him square in the forehead. That is a critical hit. Go ahead and roll damage.

[Squash]

Total of six.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right, six points of damage. You shoot that boggart right in the face. He's. His froggy skin is blackened. His face is bleeding profusely, but he is still standing. That is the end of your turn, though, Trant. We got these boggarts clustered in a way that you can hit multiples of them with your bomb with splash damage, but if you do so, you will also hit all player characters who are adjacent to that target as well.

[Trant]

Well, I think I'm gonna throw for that back corner one, so that Merty's the Only one getting splashed. But I am gonna use my splash damage.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Okay, you could technically target either of the ones back there.

[Trant]

I'm Mahurlan.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right.

[Trant]

Natural 20, 25 total.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah, you throw the Alchemist fire back into the corner there, and it hits that one boggart right in the face.

[Trant]

Prepare to croak.

And I rolled a one for damage.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right.

[Squash]

Well, yay, Hers.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So the Boggart you hit in the face dies. He was down to very few hit points. The two next to him are gonna take extra damage. They are both still up, but one of them looks very badly hurt. And, Murdy, I'm afraid you're going to take two points of fire damage from that bomb as the fire splashes onto you, burning and scorching you.

[Murdy]

My armor doesn't do anything about that.

[Trant]

Nope.

[Murdy]

Being a cook doesn't do anything about that.

[Jason (Game Master)]

I think there is a feat you can take for that eventually.

[Murdy]

I think you're right.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So, Trant, as a quick bomber, that is, again, only your first action. You did reload your gun.

[Trant]

I think I'm gonna whip out the 12 gauge for this one, and I'm going to blast the one directly next to Murdy. As opposed to the one that's next to Merdian Squash.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah, the one that's kind of off on its own. Okay. Yeah, it will have a bit of COVID just from the cramped conditions and your friends being in the way, but we'll work on that.

[Trant]

That's gonna be a total of 12. That's a minus five plus six.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Okay, so a total of 12 is gonna miss. In your surprisingly careful calculation to make sure you don't hit your friends, your shot goes slightly wide and misses the buggered entirely. I think you probably had to draw that gun, since I think you had the other gun out. So that's probably gonna be the end of your turn.

[Trant]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's gonna be me.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Merty, we're over to you.

[Murdy]

All right, for my turn, I'm gonna spend my first action keeping my shield raised. And I'm going to spend my second action and my third action, because it's two actions casting Divine Lance. All right, I'm going to call to the embers of that fire and conjure a very, very large, very bright divine Lance in the name.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Go ahead and make me an attack roll against that bugger that's directly to the south of you there in this squat Boggard barracks chamber.

[Murdy]

I sure can, Jason. Well, that was a nat 5 plus.

[Jason (Game Master)]

7.

So, yeah, that is gonna miss the boggart Just manages to sidestep it. But you do have your shield up, which is good because the Boggarts go next. The bargain that is directly next to you. Marty, frustrated with his previous turn where he swung at you twice and missed both times, is going to this time try and swing at you three times and hopefully hit at least once. But maybe not. Let's see, here comes the Club. Armor class 15.

[Murdy]

15 does not hit.

[Jason (Game Master)]

How about armor class 2? Does a 2 hit?

[Murdy]

I. I wish it did. It sure does not.

Neither does a one.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Dear listener, I want you to all understand that I've been using a digital dice bot this entire time that I'm starting to think is rigged. That was a terrible roll. Absolutely awful. I got a 15, a 2, and then a 1. And that wasn't what I rolled. That was the final. Okay, that one misses. He looks very frustrated, like he perhaps should have chosen a different path in life. Maybe he could have been a frog painter. Maybe he could have been a frog farmer. Maybe he could have been a frog cat traveling.

[Spite]

Yeah.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Salesman.

[Spite]

Or a cultist who is a bureaucrat somewhere else.

[Jason (Game Master)]

He certainly isn't cut out to be a guard. That's the thing we've learned. Now the other boggart, the one who has been burned and hit a few times and is just barely alive, is going to turn all of his frustration and take it out on squash. Bring it on. Because little known fact, this Boggard really dislikes pugs and you're a shoney, so he's going to try and hit you with his club.

[Squash]

Okay? Racist.

[Jason (Game Master)]

A little, yeah.

[Spite]

That's why we're killing him.

[Jason (Game Master)]

But he also rolled poorly. I rolled a three, so that's gonna miss.

[Squash]

Oh, that's where racism gets you, buddy.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah, that's right. And then I got a two. And then.

I'm starting to think that this thing isn't even rolling a D20. It might be rolling just a D12. I don't know what's happening. I can't get above a 7.

[Squash]

Okay, I'd like to thank all the puppy girl hackers out there who got into Jason's roll 20.

[Jason (Game Master)]

You've done a great job.

So the two Boggards have gone. I'm sure they'll get another turn. I'm sure they won't be sent to the Boggard afterlife before they get to go again. Spite, it is your turn.

[Spite]

Oh, I almost don't want to waste my good action on the severely wounded one, but eh, all right. I say no swing with the hips like this. And Then I almost rolled my curse die, but then I grab. I'm setting the curse die aside and I'm swinging the good die. There's no way I've jinxed myself by saying that. 12, eight is a 20. That's gonna hit nine damage.

But this isn't in the head. It's a swing from the side. I really want to show how you can swing from the hips, but from the side and send the body all the way back to the back of the cave.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So your Morningstar comes up underneath his arm, hitting him in the armpit, causing him to kind of pinwheel across the room as he slams into the far wall in a heap of broken bones and blood and unfulfilled dreams of being a frog accountant.

[Spite]

And then that's my first action. For my second action, I want to flank the other one by going like, get it between me and Murdy.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah, you can move over there. That's easy.

[Spite]

And this time I'm going to swing upwards. I'm going to do an upper.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Oh, no.

[Spite]

Which is, you know, I have a -4,5 on it. So we'll see how it goes. Oh, I'm so close to hitting.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Oh, you are very close. Oh, I was one off.

[Spite]

I was one off.

[Jason (Game Master)]

He's not a 12, so that's gonna miss.

[Spite]

I say you never get to heaven if you don't reach for the sky.

[Trant]

100% of the Boggart you don't hit in the head.

[Jason (Game Master)]

That Boggart is like he sees you miss and he's just like. He's very strong. He's very mighty. He's definitely gonna live.

[Spite]

Yeah, he's the unwounded one.

[Jason (Game Master)]

This one's barely hurt at all. This one is gonna be the one that defeats all of you single handedly.

[Spite]

All of the dice just turn entirely.

[Jason (Game Master)]

For the rest of the game, I just get nothing but twenties and you all get nothing but one squash. It's your turn.

[Squash]

I reload my gun.

[Jason (Game Master)]

That's one action.

[Squash]

I'm gonna give this guy a little taste of vitamin sword.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Vitamin sword. Yeah, yeah.

[Squash]

I'm gonna run at him with me gun.

[Spite]

Sword.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right, so that's your second action. And for your third action, you attack. So go ahead and give me an attack roll, please.

[Squash]

It is a 17 total.

[Jason (Game Master)]

17 is gonna hit. You managed to catch the boggart in the arm. Go ahead and deal me damage.

[Squash]

It's a six, plus two is an eight.

[Spite]

Dear listener, the look on Jason's face is forlorn. None of the boggarts hit anyone this entire combat.

[Murdy]

No, I got hit.

[Spite]

Oh, that's right. But you blocked it.

[Murdy]

No, I got hit by robber.

[Jason (Game Master)]

I don't know what to say. Everybody listen. This has never happened to me before.

[Squash]

I swear this has never happened.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Listen, sometimes when you're a gm, you have performance anxiety and the dice don't go your way and none of your boggards hit. And then you just.

[Squash]

Look, normally I'm a mass murder machine.

[Spite]

But yeah, it's going to turn around when we get to the boss, I'm sure.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Well, that performance didn't do it. All right, so that bugger slumps to the floor, your blade slicing up his arm, through his neck. He collapses in a gurgling pile of his own blood. The last of the boggarts has been defeated.

[Spite]

Before he's done curdling with blood, he's watching me look through his stuff in the cubby.

[Murdy]

You know what else is looting you and looking through your stuff?

[Spite]

Is it ads? I thought we already did two. Do we only do one?

[Murdy]

Oh, did we already do two? I thought we only did one.

[Spite]

Who knows? Maybe this is an ad break. Maybe it's not.

[Murdy]

Maybe it's not.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Maybe.

[Trainer Games Announcer]

10 athletes will face the toughest job interview in fitness that will push past physical and mental breaking points.

You are the fittest of the fit. Only one of you will leave here with an IFIT contract for $250,000.

[Spite]

This is where mindset comes in.

[Trainer Games Announcer]

Someone will be eliminated.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Pressure is coming down.

[Trainer Games Announcer]

This is Trainer Games.

[Spite]

Watch it on prime video.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Starting January 8th.

[Trainer Games Announcer]

Decluttering is everything. It clears your space, your mind, and now it can give you shopping power. With Trashee, that's trashy with an ie, not a Y. Trashy is an easy way to get instant value for donating all that clutter you've got lying around. Just buy a trashy bag, fill it with any you no longer need any brand. Any condition. We take everything, then ship it free and earn points instantly guaranteed. Keep earning points when you shop exclusive Trashee deals and redeem them for gift cards to brands you love, or even donate them to charity. It's simple, it's satisfying, and it's sustainable, since 95% of what you send gets reused or recycled. Think of Trashee as that little push you need to finally get rid of that stuff you don't use after all. It's just sitting there, taking up space when it could be turned into shopping power. It's time to make space for what's next. Buy your bag and start decluttering. Today at T R A S H ie IO that's T R A S H I E I O.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Looking for your next obsession? Listen to High Key, a bold, joyful, unfiltered culture podcast coming at you every Friday. Now, my question is, in this game of mafia that we're gonna play, are you gonna do better than me? Say it now. Duh. Period. I'm gonna eat. You gonna do better than me? I'm gonna eat. Yes.

[Spite]

I literally will.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Ryan will. I cannot wait till we both team up and get you out, and then one of us gets the other out, because we didn't realize they were a traitor the whole time and you were actually an innocent. Y' all won't even know that I'm a trainer. This is going to be delicious. Well, thank you for coming to our show. And on that note, thank you for coming to my Show.

Listen to High Key on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Trant]

This is Bowen Yang from Las Culturistas.

[Spite]

With Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.

[Squash]

And I'm Matt Rogers from the very same podcast.

[Jason (Game Master)]

It's the holiday season, and you know what that means.

[Squash]

High parties.

[Spite]

They're the best, but there's always the.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Stress of what to wear, what to bring. Easy solution.

[Squash]

Bo, bring a bottle of Casamigos. Casamigos?

[Jason (Game Master)]

Wow, that's the move. And you can dress her up.

[Trant]

Absolutely. A Casamigo's margarita is the perfect cocktail all year round.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Oh, sure, a Marg is great, but picture this.

[Squash]

A big red bow around her neck, maybe some pearls.

[Jason (Game Master)]

She is a total moment.

[Spite]

And the most interesting person at the party is always the one making Casamigos.

[Trant]

Margs for the group.

[Squash]

Or the person who showed up with the Casamigos to the party.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Wait, what about Casamigos Mules? Ooh, yes, in those little copper cups.

[Trant]

Or Casamingos Espresso martinis.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Mm.

[Squash]

Now, that's how you keep the party going.

[Spite]

Or Casamigos crayon.

[Squash]

Totally.

[Spite]

Casamigos.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Really?

[Spite]

Is that the gift that keeps on giving?

[Jason (Game Master)]

Well, you know what they say.

[Spite]

Anything goes with my Casamigos.

[Jason (Game Master)]

On second thought, a holiday party might be in order.

[Trant]

That sounds like a great idea.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Please drink responsibly. Imported by Casamigos Spirits Company, White Plains, New York. Casamigos Tequila. 40% alcohol by volume.

[Spite]

And either we're back or not.

[Murdy]

If we're back, we're back now.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Welcome back.

[Squash]

And if we're back, we're back on squash. Squash takes his gun sword and, like, twirls it around his Finger and, like, tries to sheath it, but it's a huge, like, gun sword, so it goes right by his face.

[Jason (Game Master)]

He's like, whoa.

[Trant]

That was.

[Squash]

That was, like, so dangerous.

[Murdy]

I'm walking over to Tran. I'm going, hey, buddy, you owe me one of your healing potions.

[Trant]

I pull out an alchemist's fire and then. Oh, healing. And I pull out the correct potion.

[Jason (Game Master)]

The funny part is you don't label them and they look identical.

[Trant]

No, this one. Yeah.

[Jason (Game Master)]

The barracks has gone quiet. The last of the Boggards has been slain. This place clearly is. You know, there are all these niches and alcoves in the wall where the Boggards sleep. It looks like they probably use these in shifts. Like, there's not quite enough here to represent all the Boggards, So they probably just share. I mean, some sleep during the day, some sleep at night. These four clearly had the day off and tried to defend their lair.

[Spite]

They died doing what they loved.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah. Missing furiously. That's what they died doing.

But now you can search it if you like. As I said, there's a passageway kind of off to the west that heads off into darkness. Above it is this detailed carving of the demonic rune of Gogunta, the demon lord of Fetid Swamps. That looks like really the only way to go.

[Spite]

First I'm looting, and then I'm taking out my dagger and defacing the gogurt symbol.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right, so you're going to start looting. Are the rest of you going to start tossing the place as well? There's a lot here to search. Search.

[Murdy]

I was also separately planning on defacing the.

[Spite]

Oh, we can do it together. It's teamwork.

[Squash]

I carve a cool S up there and then I start searching around.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Oh, like the. The cool ass. That's what you're carving?

[Spite]

Yeah.

[Squash]

Three lines on top, three lines on bottom, you know?

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah. All right.

[Spite]

I think it's an old alchemist symbol I like. I genuinely think that. I don't know why I think it, but I remember reading it anyway.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah, I mean, the party that defaces demonic runes together stays together. So there's plenty of rune to deface to go around. And you search through the area and you find, frankly, a lot of basic equipment. Cooking utensils, rope, torches, bags, flint and steel, stuff like that.

[Spite]

Every time I find a cooking utensil, I offer it to. To the point where it's clearly annoying.

[Trant]

Myrty.

[Spite]

No. I'm just gonna be like, but do you have one of these? Do you have one of These.

[Murdy]

I could take a better grilling fork, but I don't need another spatula. And I'm honestly kind of set on soup ladles.

[Spite]

Oh, okay.

[Murdy]

The one is kind of.

[Spite]

That one's magical.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Who would have thought that the Boggards were, like, really interested in all the different kinds of knives? So there's like, you know, oh, here's a paring knife and a flower knife and a chef's knife and.

[Murdy]

Do they have a cheese knife? I've been looking for a new cheese knife.

[Jason (Game Master)]

They do have a cheese knife. Despite being frogs and having no access.

[Murdy]

To cheese, you think they can digest dairy?

[Spite]

All right.

[Jason (Game Master)]

You know, that's an interesting question I don't have an answer to.

[Trant]

Either.

[Squash]

These bogarts are gourmands or. This is very sinister.

[Spite]

Oh, I didn't even think of the sinister part.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Oh, I'm sorry. They killed the cheesemonger.

[Spite]

Are there signs of, like. I guess they wouldn't consider it cannibalism if we were considering eating them. But, like, are there signs that this is where missing villagers ended up?

[Jason (Game Master)]

You don't see any bones or anything like that. As a matter of fact, they're. So their stew pot in the middle looks mostly full of fish. It's a lot of kind of fermented fish. So you do find that when going through all the personal belongings, you also find, you know, a good pile of copper pieces, a bunch of silver pieces, four gold pieces, and a platinum piece. You find some coins scattered throughout the barracks. And everyone who's searching, please give me a perception check.

[Spite]

18.

[Squash]

6/7 is 1322 total.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Trent, are you searching or are you just taking.

[Trant]

I only got a 13.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right, so spite. You discover in one of the alcoves, kind of underneath the dirty straw mat that they were using as a bed, you find a silvery oil in a small glass vial. And after inspecting it a bit, you determine that this is Oil of Potency.

[Spite]

Oh, you've been having issues, but will this help you?

[Jason (Game Master)]

Listen, consult your alchemist if Oil of Potency is right for you. No, sorry.

[Spite]

What does this do?

[Jason (Game Master)]

No. Oil of Potency. You can apply it to a weapon. Boy, I'm not helping myself here, am I? You can apply it to a weapon to make it magical for one minute. Now, unlike the normal kind of magical runes that you all have on your weapons that give you plus one to hit, Oil of Potency also includes the Rune of Striking, which means any weapon you put it on will roll an extra die of damage.

[Spite]

Oh, fuck. Yeah.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So if your weapon Normally does a D8. If you put this oil on it, it will do 2d8 per hit.

[Spite]

I'm keeping this. I'm turning around, being like, okay, this is oil of potency. And I think that if you do the logic, I'm gonna thank you.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Finally, over on the side near the fire, there are two large jugs filled with a foul smelling fungus paste.

[Squash]

Let's go.

[Jason (Game Master)]

One of them you've already encountered. It's what they feed to the villagers. There's a whole jug of it.

[Spite]

I'm gonna. I don't know how I'm gonna destroy it. Nevermind.

[Jason (Game Master)]

I mean, you could dump it in the fire.

[Trant]

I know, but.

[Spite]

No, but what if it turns into a dust cloud? Well, you're the game master. Yeah, I dump it into the fire.

[Jason (Game Master)]

You wake up three months later having finished building the great.

[Spite]

This is what I was worried about.

[Jason (Game Master)]

No, it's fine. No, you can destroy it. It's fine. Just dump it out. It'll get rid of it. So the other jug smells of cinnamon and has an oily sheen about it.

[Spite]

I think this is the one that protects us from the acid.

[Jason (Game Master)]

I say the elder did mention a paste, an oily paste that they smeared on themselves to protect themselves from acid.

[Spite]

I'm doing it. I'm smearing it all over myself.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So there is enough in here for you all to coat yourself in this if you want.

[Murdy]

Is there any turmeric in it? Will I dye my skin yellow?

[Jason (Game Master)]

It doesn't seem so. Yeah.

[Spite]

Is that a plus or a minus?

[Murdy]

Me Hazel? Minus my. I'm not actually sure.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah, it sounds like spite. You're coating yourself in the oil.

[Spite]

It takes me a long time to get in and out of my armor, so I figure I gotta do it before the battle.

[Squash]

Okay, I'm getting all slippery with this.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right, you've got a slippery shoony squash.

[Spite]

Can you get my back?

[Trant]

Yes.

[Spite]

Thank you.

[Squash]

Anybody else?

[Trant]

Yeah, go and get me.

[Squash]

Yeah, I'm doing everybody's back.

[Murdy]

Oh, I'm using my ladle to get my own back, thank you.

[Spite]

All right. I just start marching down, shield raised. Down the other tunnel looking for a skull being like, remember, once we see a second skull, there's going to be a trap in the ground. I don't know how to find traps very well. I guess maybe I'm moving at slow motion looking for traps instead of shield raised.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Alright. Down a short and smoky tunnel, there is a small chamber, the opposite side of which is a massive frog skull mounted directly above an iron door. The wicked Symbol on the Boggard's head is reproduced here, glowing with a faint green light. Almost as if warning anyone who might approach that something dangerous lies in wait.

[Squash]

Do you think this is the skull they were talking about?

[Spite]

Yeah, I think there's a trap.

Any of you good at that kind of thing?

[Jason (Game Master)]

I'm gonna roll a perception check.

All right, so it sounds like Squash is going up front to look around for traps.

[Squash]

Yes, Trin. Oh, so very carefully.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So this is a situation in which you don't roll. I roll for you. And I don't tell you what the result is. I just tell you whether or not you find something or not. Fair enough.

[Spite]

Yeah, that makes sense. No one look at the screen.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Oh, no. I'm going to break out my dice on this side.

[Spite]

You have physical dice and you've been using this cursed digital die just out of sticking to the commitment. That's commitment.

[Jason (Game Master)]

You know, I have to admit, roll 20 oftentimes is just super deadly for me. But today it has totally abandoned me. But here we go. What's your perception bonus there?

[Squash]

Squash plus five.

[Jason (Game Master)]

You take a look around.

And you notice that although the floor of this place is mud and stone, directly in front of the door is one large square stone that is specifically kind of set off from the others. It almost looks like a pressure plate.

[Squash]

I don't care for that at all. I think we got a pressure plate situation, my dudes.

[Spite]

No one step on that.

[Squash]

Don't step on that.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Hmm.

[Squash]

Do we wanna like throw a bag of sand onto it, Try and set it off before we get on in there?

[Jason (Game Master)]

So I'll say this, Squash, do you have thievery? Are you trained in thievery?

[Squash]

Am I trained in thievery? Yes, I am. It's my best skill.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Okay, well, if you are trained in thievery, then you can attempt to disarm the trap.

[Murdy]

Bosh. Do you want thieves tools? I have thieves tools.

[Squash]

Ooh. Well, I'll consult with everyone first if we even want to take the risk. Because I'm a team player.

[Spite]

Yeah, why not? What could go wrong?

[Jason (Game Master)]

Lots of things.

[Murdy]

I'm always for rolling dice.

[Squash]

You heard that? Nothing can go wrong.

[Murdy]

Oh, do you want guidance too? We might as well pile them all on.

[Squash]

I would love some guidance.

[Murdy]

So. Yeah, you've got guidance and siege tools.

I built myrtie to be like an equipment.

[Spite]

You did a good job of it.

[Murdy]

I feel like kitchen tools are useful for just like everything, you know? So I tried to take everything.

[Spite]

The kitchen sink, it's.

[Murdy]

Yeah, yeah, you know, What?

[Jason (Game Master)]

They say, go ahead and make that thievery roll.

[Squash]

So I rolled an 11 plus 7 for an 18 plus 1 with guidance. So 19 is.

[Jason (Game Master)]

And then.

[Squash]

Does thiefstools give me anything?

[Spite]

They just let you do it.

[Jason (Game Master)]

No, they're not. They just let you do it. So you carefully lift up the stone and find the small pressure sensor underneath that's connected to a small wire that goes up into the wall. And it looks like it goes up into the door and you just cut it. And the trap is disarmed.

[Squash]

I give a big thumbs up.

[Spite]

I go, and I raise my shield and try and open the door.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right, so I'm gonna put spite up there. Trant, you sounds like you were right behind. Squash, you're right there. Myrnie, you're over there. Okay. The door swings open. As the waters of the swamp continue to rise, they may, in time, threaten to overwhelm the dam itself. To prevent this, the Boggarts have built an impressive sluiceway, a massive channel through the dam that can be opened to relieve the pressure. The work here is far from done, though, and the main gate out into the swamp is flooded and closed. Should it be open now, the water would likely undermine the entire dam, causing it to collapse from within. Opposite the entry, on the other side of the sluiceway, stands a large vaulted area with a massive shrine made from bones, stones, reeds and mud. A construct looking like some sort of corpulent frog demon. There, dancing before it, is a Boggard, clad in bone charms and reeds. This must be the Swampseer, the head of the cult of Gogunta. As she turns, the symbol of her foul God carved into the skin of her forehead seems to glow with a faint, bright green light. She lets out a terrifying croak. Raising her staff in front of her, she points it at you and screams in anger. We are going into fight here, folks. With the swamp's ear?

[Spite]

Fuck yeah. Trent. If any of your bombs accidentally blow up that shrine, no one will be sad.

[Trant]

Good to know. I definitely was considering other people when planning my actions here.

[Spite]

That's what I like about you.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right, can I get everybody to roll initiative for me?

[Trant]

19.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right. Trant has a 19 for initiative. Sounds great. Squash, what do you got?

[Squash]

I got an 11 plus 5 for a 16. A tasty little 16.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Very good. Murdy, what's your initiative?

[Murdy]

I got a NAT one, but plus 7 is 8.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Oh, boy. Enjoy going last, spite.

[Spite]

Well, I got 10 plus 4 for 14, but it's okay because that thing has a 29.

[Jason (Game Master)]

No. No peeking.

[Murdy]

Sorry.

[Jason (Game Master)]

I finally rolled.

[Spite]

Well, the dice have turned against us, lads.

[Jason (Game Master)]

I rolled an 18 plus 11. Gives me a total of 29 plus 11.

[Spite]

Man, I want to just get. Keep that lady around and have her do perception for me.

[Murdy]

Yeah, listeners, I do wish you could have seen the fiendish look upon Jason's face when he rolled that. It was really a sight to behold.

[Jason (Game Master)]

I was super excited.

[Spite]

Tpk. Tpk.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So the swamp seer goes first, and it's going to step up to the edge of the sluiceway. Now, as a reminder, the sluice. Sluice way is kind of a gulf between the two of you. It's a channel that separates the two groups. So spite, Trance, Squash, Murdy, you're all kind of clustered on one side. Then directly in front of you, the ground drops away 10ft. It's then the sluiceway is 15ft wide, going from one end of the dam to the other, and then it rises up 10ft on the other side. So you're kind of looking at each other across this gulf of this loose way. So the swamp seer, dzun gur, looks at you from across this gulf and then starts croaking and chanting as it moves its hand in a rhythmic pattern. And when it finishes, it flings a blob of acid across this gulf at you. It lands at Trance, feet exploding in a burst of acid, hitting all four of you. Spite, Trant, Squash, and Murty. I need all three, four of you to make me a reflex save.

[Squash]

Okay.

Might this be a moment I could use Flashy dodge.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So you cannot use any reactions yet because you have not gone yet.

[Squash]

He's tough but fair. Folks.

[Trant]

I got an 11 total.

[Jason (Game Master)]

An 11 is a failure.

[Spite]

I have an 18.

[Jason (Game Master)]

An 18 is a failure.

[Spite]

Oh, brutal.

[Murdy]

I got a 13 plus three.

[Jason (Game Master)]

16 so is a failure.

[Squash]

There's no bones about it. I have also failed.

[Spite]

I think we're covered in this oil.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Well, what did you get?

[Squash]

Rolled me a three.

[Jason (Game Master)]

There's just no way, folks.

[Squash]

A 12.

[Jason (Game Master)]

You just avoid a critical failure.

So this is going to do acid damage to all of you. However, you are all protected from acid. So let's see what I roll.

So I rolled a six. The paste you have put on yourselves prevents five points of damage. So you all take one point of acid damage.

[Spite]

I could do this all day. And then I think, well, like, not all day, all day, but, like, probably 20 times.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Looking down at the paste, it looks like the paste is still there, but it is greatly diminished. A bunch of it boiled away. You look like you could maybe take acid damage one more time and still have it protect you. But then that's.

[Spite]

I have liked to reconsider my position on how long I would like to have this be the way that our encounter goes. Lady soon to die.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right, that was the Swamp Seer's turn. It moved. It threw acid at you. Trant, you have the initiative. Next.

[Trant]

Okay, you called that. Throw in something full of acid at somebody, and then I'm gonna step forward and I'm gonna throw one of my alchemist's acids.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So if you step forward, you will tumble into the sluice way.

[Trant]

Oh, I'm gonna stand here and throw it.

[Spite]

When I see you go for acid, I'm like, I wonder if acid is the most effective stratagem.

[Jason (Game Master)]

We'll find out.

[Spite]

All right, fine.

[Trant]

Okay, that's a 19 total.

[Jason (Game Master)]

19.

Will hit.

[Trant]

All right, that's D6 plus one. That's a six.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Six. You throw the vial of acid across at Zunger.

It strikes Dzonger's side, dealing six points of damage. The Swamp Seer hisses in pain as the acid burns them. It does look like it worked.

[Spite]

I take it back, Trant.

[Trant]

See, that's how you do it.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah, that was your first action.

[Trant]

Well, I guess I'm gonna use the pistol in my hand to shoot him.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Okay, go ahead and make an attack roll.

[Trant]

That is an 11 plus one.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So 12 you fire, but Dzungur ducks it easily. Just kind of dodges out of the way his staff, which actually kind of looks more like a trident covered in bones, kind of just ducks out of the way and avoids your shot.

[Trant]

Yeah, that'll happen.

[Jason (Game Master)]

You do have one action left if you want to reload. Or, I mean, I guess you could start climbing down into the sluice way.

[Trant]

I think I'll reload.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right, sounds good. All right, squash, so it's your turn. You've got a 15 foot gulf in front of you. You could back up and try and jump across. You could climb down. You can shoot from here. What do you want to do?

[Squash]

That altar is so, so, so scary. And it looks really enticing. And fuck this, I'm jumping over there.

[Jason (Game Master)]

It's a 20.

[Spite]

Just like kind of what you needed. I think you literally need a 20.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Even though it's not your skill. You back up and jump across, and I'm gonna let you land on either side. We'll put you over here, and I'm gonna give you a Panache for that, because that's the height of. Of bravery and swashbuckler tude. So you now have Panache, but that did burn up two of your actions. You now only have one left, and that is Squash.

[Squash]

The height of Panache.

Squash Hair flowing through the air. Has his big goddamn sword out like an anime protagonist and is slashing at Zun.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right, give me an attack roll. You land with grace and Panache.

[Squash]

I land with grace, panache and a 17 total.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Your blade flashes through the air, your slice going straight for Zunger's face, who ducks back. And your blade literally crosses right in front of his frog nose. You miss by the breadth of a hair.

[Squash]

Oh.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Spite, it is now your turn.

[Spite]

Okay, so you said I could jump down using an action safely.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah, you can pretty safely jump down into the. The sides of it are actually kind of sloped a little bit. So if you've taken just one action, you can kind of safely jump down without taking action.

[Spite]

Can I take all three actions? Jump down and climb up 10ft.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So the tricky part here is you got to climb down, move over, and then start climbing up.

[Spite]

That's what I was thinking.

[Jason (Game Master)]

If you get a critical success or do really well on the thing, you could get up in one turn. But it really is a pain to get to the other side.

[Spite]

Spike cannot handle the idea of not attacking this monstrous creature, not because of being a frog, but because of the actions that this person has taken. And so she is going to jump down, draw a javelin, and throw a javelin. All right, Do I need to roll the jump?

[Jason (Game Master)]

No, no, no, that's fine. Just go ahead and make me the attack.

[Trant]

Okay.

[Spite]

Oh, 17. My kingdom for a bless.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So close, yet so far. Your javelin goes so sailing through the air. This swamp seer has been dodging attacks left and right. The javelin, heading straight at Dzungur, just gently turns to the side and watches it sail right past. That is the end of Spite's turn.

[Spite]

And now I hope the sluice way doesn't open while I'm in there.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Murdy.

[Murdy]

Jason, what do you think about the penalty that I would be taking if I threw a dagger all the way over at the frog?

[Jason (Game Master)]

Just based on range, you'd probably be looking at a penalty of about two.

[Murdy]

Sounds great. I'm gonna take two actions to cast Bless. Everybody's getting plus one, including myself.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right?

[Murdy]

And then I've had this chef's knife dagger this whole game and haven't had a chance to use it. So, yeah, fuck it. I'm just gonna throw it.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So the only person who's not going to get this bonus right now is squash, actually, so far. But that's okay. You throw the dagger. Go ahead and make me an attack roll.

[Murdy]

Yeah.

I am rolling. Plus three. So that's a 13.

Plus three minus two plus one.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yep. That's all the math.

[Murdy]

That's 15, I think.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah. All right. You fling your chef knives across and it misses. The swamp's here entirely. But it does embed in the bottom of the statue of Go Gunther. So, you know, there's that.

[Murdy]

I grunt.

[Jason (Game Master)]

We are at the top of the order. Zunger looks at you, Squash. Malice and hate twisting on its lips as it begins to form the words of magic. I need you to make a reflex save, Squash.

[Squash]

Well.

It'S a six plus nine. So 15 total.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So I'm gonna tell you what you see, and then I'm gonna let you decide. Do you have a hero point left? I do. You do, don't you? Okay. I'm gonna let you decide whether or not you want to spend that hero point. Here's what's happening. A green claw is appearing around you.

It is about as big as you are, and it looks like it is going to grab you and drag you off the edge into this loose way.

[Squash]

A claw as big as me and probably couldn't flashy dodge this. This bad boy. Because that's just ac. I'm.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah, this is a saving throw.

[Trant]

Yep.

[Squash]

I'm gonna be heroic and use my point.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right. Go ahead and reroll. Sure.

[Squash]

I'm glad that I did. Because a 14 plus nine is better than the thing that I did before a 23.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So I'm still gonna move you five feet, which means I'm still gonna push you into the sluice. Cause you made it. But you are gonna take half damage, which is good because the damage on this is 2d8. So instead of taking 14 damage, you'll only take 7. And it's acid damage, which means it's reduced to 2. You only take 2 damage?

[Squash]

Ha. Big deal. I eat 2 damage for breakfast.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Indeed. But then you are pushed into the sluice way and fall down 10ft, taking an additional five points of damage.

[Squash]

Oh, brother.

[Jason (Game Master)]

And then.

The Swamp Seer is going to unleash a terrifying croak.

Its throat bladder increases in size and unleashes a sonorous cry that causes terror and fear to take root in all of your hearts. I need all of you to make me a will Save Jason.

[Murdy]

Would you describe this as an Effect of magic.

[Jason (Game Master)]

It is actually not magical. It is auditory.

[Spite]

Would you describe the fact that I have candle wax in my ears as providing any kind of bonus?

[Jason (Game Master)]

Congratulations. You get a plus two bonus on the set.

[Spite]

Squash did it too.

[Squash]

Yes, Squash did it too. Thank you.

[Murdy]

Sorry, can you re explain how this is not magic?

[Jason (Game Master)]

It's a terrifying frog war cry.

[Murdy]

I'm having it.

[Trant]

It's like a dinosaur.

[Trainer Games Announcer]

Yeah.

[Murdy]

Why would I be scared of that?

[Jason (Game Master)]

Because he's pretty scary.

[Trant]

It's like you're in a T. Rex.

[Jason (Game Master)]

It.

[Trant]

Yeah.

[Jason (Game Master)]

It has certain sub vocal harmonies that just reach into the core of you and shake you to your very being as if you're being hunted by some sort of massive.

[Squash]

Yeah.

[Trant]

Counterpoint predator.

[Murdy]

I defend myself against magic and things similar to this by relying on techniques derived from my orc cultural superstitions. What's more orc than like weird ass war cries?

[Jason (Game Master)]

You've convinced me. I'll let you have the bonus.

[Murdy]

Okay. Thank you.

[Spite]

Based on the two I rolled, I would like to spend one of my two hero points.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Ah, yes, that's right. I let you keep your hero point that you earned. That's right. Yeah, by all means.

[Spite]

All right, I probably still failed, but does the Bless affect this?

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yes, it is actually a fear effect. So Bless gives you a bonus as well. Bonus one.

[Murdy]

Okay, well, I rolled a five, but I have nine. Nine will save, plus one from Orc Superstition, plus one from Bless, which does become 16.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So that's going to fail.

So Merdy failed despite what he got.

[Spite]

I have a 20 after our modifiers.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Success. Trance, what do you got?

[Trant]

I rolled a 19, plus five is 24.

[Jason (Game Master)]

You don't care about no frog cry.

[Trant]

I'm deaf.

[Jason (Game Master)]

I am squash.

[Squash]

18 +2 from the mud I put in my ears. Was there anything else?

[Jason (Game Master)]

One from Bless. So 21.

[Squash]

That's right, baby, 21.

[Jason (Game Master)]

And I mean it's a will save, so we. Whatever your will bonus is.

[Squash]

Oh, well.

[Jason (Game Master)]

But you've made it. You rolled an 18, so unfortunately Murty is the only one who is affected. Now, this isn't the most horrible effect. You are frightened. One for one turn. So basically, until the end of your next turn, any D20 roll you are asked to make, you will take a penalty of one and at the end of your turn it'll go away. That's it.

[Spite]

Not like an anti Bless.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah, kind of. That is the end of Dzungar's turn. Trant, we're back to you.

[Trant]

Alrighty. Well, I think I'm going to.

Hurl another one of my physical real alchemist fires at this guy. All right, so I'm out of my dailies, so I'm gonna throw that. And that's gonna be 15 total. Wait, is there a bonus that we're getting right now?

[Jason (Game Master)]

Getting a bonus of one.

[Trant]

Okay, 16 total.

[Jason (Game Master)]

16 is gonna come up short. The bomb lands just next to Dzungar. Zunger is pretty agile and manages to dodge it. But that is gonna do one point of splash damage. The fire does scorch Dzungr.

[Trant]

Then I'll fire with my shotgun, I guess.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right.

[Trant]

And that's gonna be just, I guess, a 14 total.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So. Yeah, again, Dzunguri's pretty nimble for a frog and is dodging and ducking the shots with the best of them. I'm assuming on your final action, you reload.

[Trant]

Yep.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right, Squash, we're back to you, Squash. I do want to note that your protection against acid is now gone. You have taken acid damage twice.

[Squash]

Ah, crumbs.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So you no longer have any protection. No. And you are down in the sluice way. And you're also prone.

[Squash]

Well, I'm gonna first order a business at I can't be prone.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So you stand up.

[Squash]

I gotta do something about that. I stand up tall, proud, a proud shoney in the bottom of this loose way and I start crawling my way up.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Okay. Give me a athletics check to climb.

[Squash]

That is.

[Jason (Game Master)]

It's pretty easy.

[Murdy]

Yeah.

[Squash]

It is going to be a 17 total.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right. 17 is gonna get you halfway up. You can make a second climb check. Go ahead, climb check.

[Squash]

I do. And it's a one more than my last roll.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Congrats. You've managed to climb up. So you're back up there. You're next to Zunger again, who's like, ah, looking at you with. With anger.

[Squash]

Alright, Zunger, I dare you to try that again. As I say as I stand next.

[Spite]

To the precipice in exactly the same spot.

[Trant]

Yeah.

[Jason (Game Master)]

And Zuner looks at you and is like, I totally would if that wasn't a spell I only get to use once a day. Ah, Spite.

[Squash]

We're over to you, Zunger. You've fallen for my trap now. I know.

[Spite]

Yeah, like I feel a lot better knowing that. Honestly, I believe I will take one action to get to the precipice.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Okay.

[Spite]

South of our demonic river caging monster. Again, not based on ancestral characteristics.

[Jason (Game Master)]

That's right. Yeah. Just purely based off behavior and worshiping a demon.

[Spite]

Yeah. And oh, I might not attack this Round. It's getting at me, but I'm gonna try and climb, hoping for critical success, and get in a 22.

[Jason (Game Master)]

22 is very good. It's not quite a critical success, but it is very good.

[Spite]

All right, well, I'm halfway up, so now I'm gonna try again, get all the way up, and how about a nine? Do I fall down because I got a nine?

[Jason (Game Master)]

No, you didn't critically fail. You just didn't go anywhere. So you're like, halfway up, living on a prayer. So Spite is climbing up. That is the end of Spite's turn. Murty, we're back over to you. And, Murty, you know that Dzungar goes next, so what are you doing? You are frightened. Remember, you take a penalty on one on any rolls you make.

[Murdy]

I do know this. So here's the thing, which is that Bless is one of my big, nasty spells. However, you all keep moving out of range, so I have to follow you, which eats up my slots that I don't really want to spend because I can do plenty of damage back here.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So I will remind you that Bless gets bigger every round that you. You concentrate on it.

[Murdy]

Oh, that is true about it. We don't usually get this far into combat, if I'm being honest.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Most enemies you've been fighting have 10 hit points or something. Dzungar looks powerful.

[Trant]

It's true.

[Murdy]

All right, so it gets up to 25, if that's sustain it. So 5, 10, 15, 20, 25. All right, spite might technically be within 25. Squash isn't. I don't technically have another chef's knife. I think it would be narratively silly if I didn't.

[Spite]

You have a cheese knife?

[Murdy]

Oh, I have a cheese knife, but I can't see.

[Jason (Game Master)]

There was a cheese knife. Yeah.

[Murdy]

Could the cheese knife be thrown 25ft and do 1d4 damage?

[Jason (Game Master)]

I will count it the same as all the other knives.

[Murdy]

Okay, well, fantastic. I'm gonna do that then. Jason, in that case, I'm going to move to the edge of the sluice, but I'm not going to get down in it. So I'm just moving, like, one foot up. I'm going to sustain that, Bless, and sustaining it is going to expand it an extra 10ft. So I've now got spite. Squash is just a little bit too far out at this point, unfortunately. But next turn, you'll be back in. And then with my last turn, I'm going to huck this cheese knife at the. At the Frog lady.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Go ahead. And make me an attack roll.

[Spite]

I do like that the frog lady is an any pronouns monster. I really appreciate that.

[Murdy]

Yeah, I'm gonna hero point that one because it doesn't matter what I rolled.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Oh, okay. It was that good, huh?

[Murdy]

Yeah. Well, that was a 10 with previously established plus 2 minus the 1 is an 11, so I'm sure that does not hit.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Unfortunately, not gonna quite do it, I'm afraid. You throw another knife over at Zunger and it comes up short.

[Murdy]

Actually. Why die you here? I should not have hero pointed that. This was not. That was not worth using the hero point I already did, so whatever. But.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Don'T worry, you'll have plenty of chances to earn more hero points by being super heroic. All right?

[Murdy]

I'm doing my best.

[Jason (Game Master)]

You are.

[Trainer Games Announcer]

You are.

[Jason (Game Master)]

You're doing fun. Zunger.

Is going to go. And I think it's time to use my other croak. Dzungar is now going to unleash a devastating sonic attack. Dzunger unleashes a sonic croak. This one is so loud, it causes your eardrums to burst and your flesh to split open. This rumbles and shakes the entire sluiceway. Rocks fall from the ceiling. It doesn't destroy the place, but it is ominous. This croak is so loud, so shattering that I need both squash and sprite to roll me. Fortitude saves for all the sonic damage I'm about to deal you.

[Spite]

We have the plus two for having the wax.

[Jason (Game Master)]

You both do have the plus two because of the the Your great.

[Spite]

And I get a blessing.

Do I hero point this or No, I don't. Because I think I know this creature's spell save.

[Squash]

I have a 17 total.

[Spite]

And I have an 18 total.

[Jason (Game Master)]

An 18 and a 17.

[Spite]

I think the spell save is 18.

[Jason (Game Master)]

I think you both just fail. Oh, shit.

[Spite]

Oh, all right. So it goes.

[Jason (Game Master)]

I'm sorry for this.

[Spite]

We are both dead.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Here comes 4D6 sonic damage.

[Spite]

Oh, I'm probably not dead.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Oh. Huh.

[Spite]

That's a lot.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Both of you take 16 damage.

[Spite]

I'm gonna hit you so hard with a morning star.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Next turn, I am gonna bash you so hard.

Are both of you still conscious after this sonic blast?

[Squash]

Here's the thing. No.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So the secret is I'm not.

[Squash]

Yeah, I just go, good night. And I fall like a sack of potatoes.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So I've put a little skull symbol on squash there so that you can see that squash is currently dying one. I'll put a little one on that so that you can all see It. There it is.

[Squash]

I'm the dying one.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Squash collapses to the ground, unconscious and dying.

The Boggard Swamp Seer only has one action left. Can't do that, can't do that, can't do that. It's just gonna back up. And that is the Swamp Seer's turn. Trant, we are over to you.

[Trant]

All right, well, I don't have my medical potion anymore, so really my only option is to try to hurt a.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Thing.

[Trant]

Which I guess I'm gonna do again. Not very creative, but I'm gonna throw another grenade at the big guy so.

[Spite]

You can do no splash damage. Never mind.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah, you can. You can not hit squash.

[Trant]

I'll avoid that in this case because it's not gonna gain me anything. And I don't think that attack roll is going to either, because I rolled. That's a total of 1313.

[Jason (Game Master)]

You fling another bomb, it hits the altar, which starts the altar on fire, but it does little damage.

[Trant]

That's what I meant to do.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah.

[Trant]

I'll use the rest of my actions to climb down.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Okay. You can actually climb down and make your way over to the other side if you want.

[Trant]

Okay, done.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right. Trans is making his way over Squash. You technically are not in that spot initiative anymore. So next up is Spite.

[Spite]

Okay. I am attempting my athletics check to get up the last bit. I rolled a 20. Or I got a 20.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Oh, that'll do it.

[Spite]

So I'm there, and I am going to. Is drawing the oil in action.

[Jason (Game Master)]

I'm going to assume you got the oil on your belt, that you had it great.

[Spite]

I am putting oil on my morning star.

And I am screaming, don't put my friends into unconscious mode.

And I am.

[Jason (Game Master)]

My friends.

[Spite]

Yeah. And I am bringing down my morning star with all my might.

And that is a 13 plus 8. Plus one is a 22.

[Jason (Game Master)]

That will hit. Now remember, instead of rolling one die of damage, you now roll two dice.

[Spite]

That makes me happy because the first die of damage that I rolled was a one, and the next one was a three. But that is a total of eight.

[Jason (Game Master)]

You've now doubled the amount of damage that's been put on Zunger. Zunger still does not look that hurt.

[Spite]

Yeah, the problem is I'm gonna die real soon, and I cannot put my shield up.

[Murdy]

I could do something about that.

[Spite]

Please do.

[Jason (Game Master)]

That was Spite's turn. Murty, your friends are very badly hurt.

[Murdy]

Yeah, I hear that. But what if I. What if I just sustained the bless a little bit longer?

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah, you can do that. It'll now hit everybody.

[Murdy]

It'll now hit everybody though. Everybody takes plus one. But I still have two actions.

[Spite]

I know, but then you can't heal both squash and spite.

[Murdy]

Oh, that is true.

[Spite]

And we both.

[Jason (Game Master)]

You must pick one of them.

[Murdy]

Oh, I hadn't considered this.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Don't worry. It's not like picking who lives or dies or who your favorite is, but in some ways it is. So which one is it?

[Spite]

Who does the most damage? No, no, I can't get selfish here. Never mind. Take care.

[Murdy]

So yeah, selfish. He works a couple of ways. This was before you got hit real bad. As I was planning to heal squash and I could do a two action version of this and I do one D8 plus eight to one person or for all three actions. I can do one D8 to everybody in the 30 foot range.

[Spite]

Oh, then you should probably just bring squash back up.

[Squash]

Oh, that I love that.

[Jason (Game Master)]

I will note if you do the three action heal, you will also heal zone.

[Spite]

Oh yeah, Just bring squash. Squash back up.

[Trant]

Okay.

[Spite]

And then do the same to me next turn when I'm down.

[Murdy]

Yes. Sorry, pal. I'm stick with the original plan and do the two action version of heal.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right, go ahead and roll a D8 and add eight and that's how many hit points squash will be at.

[Murdy]

All right, buddy? Oh, that was. That was an 8. You would like to see for proof. It was this one. Squash is healed for 16 and everybody is within the bless.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right, so squash, you were healed for 16.

You are no longer dying. You are prone again and you have the wounded one condition, which means if you fall unconscious again, your dying condition will automatically increase by 1, which means it'll be much easier for you to die. But you're not dead. And that was the end of Murty's turn, which is convenient because squash you now go next.

[Squash]

Ha cha cha. Well, I get up out of prone.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right.

[Squash]

Now dying probably puts a damper on the panache that I was rocking with it.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Technically, the panache does not go away when you go on.

[Squash]

I love these words that you. You just said to me, Jason, this.

[Murdy]

Is the most stylish sleeping pug you've ever met.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah, I don't think anything in here says that you lose panache when you go unconscious. It just says that when combat ends. And I mean, it didn't really end for you.

[Squash]

There's no rules that says a dog can't wake up from being dead and fuck up a frog.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So.

That'S true.

[Squash]

I am going to to absolutely Use this panache. I'm gonna stand up and I'm going to flank over next to Spite and I'm going to try and use.

[Spite]

A.

[Squash]

Very confident finisher to pierce my foe's fences.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right? So Squash, you stand up from unconsciousness. You move over across from Spite on the opposite side of Zunger and you're gonna use your confident finisher.

[Squash]

That's right.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Roll me an attack, make it a good 1. You get 2d6 extra damage on this attack.

[Squash]

It's well, 2D6 extra damage on a.

[Spite]

It's either a 1 or a 20. I don't even know.

[Jason (Game Master)]

It's.

[Spite]

It's.

[Squash]

It's close to one of those. It's a 19.

[Spite]

Oh, nice.

[Murdy]

Did you take your blast? Did he take your blast?

[Squash]

Well that's 1920 now.

[Murdy]

Damn right it is.

[Squash]

With my bless. Damn right.

[Jason (Game Master)]

It's a 20. That is a hit. So go ahead and roll damage and then roll an extra 2d6 and throw that in as well.

[Squash]

I do a big mighty leap up off of the wall and Well, I rolled a one plus two D6.

And they're both sixes.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Well, that's pretty good. So that's 13 plus. What's your bonus on damage?

[Squash]

My bonus on damage is plus 2.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So 15 total. 15.

That is a lot of damage. Your blade slices into Dzungar. Zunger is now bleeding horrifically from a wound in their side. They're looking terribly hurt, but it is now their turn. Aww, I don't like that spite. You may have just been earned a moment of respite thanks to Squash's daring assault. Because Zunger is now fearful, furious at Squash, turns to them.

[Spite]

Thank God.

[Jason (Game Master)]

And is going to blast you with acid. Roll me a reflex save.

[Squash]

All right.

15 plus nine.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So a 24, you'll take half damage.

Which I rolled an eight. So take four.

[Spite]

Well, or I'm going to use liberating stuff. Step reaction. And you actually have three resistance to acid damage this turn or right now. So you take one damage.

[Squash]

I love that.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Very well.

[Spite]

And you can also, if you would like take a five foot step any direction.

[Trant]

No.

[Squash]

Squash has got the bloodlust and also just saw what a solid that you did for him and he's like, haha, my friends are so cool.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Well, Zunger is going to attack you with their trident.

[Squash]

Oh no.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Armor class of 18.

[Squash]

That is my armor class.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right. That is going to do.

12 points of damage as he skewers you with the trident. You are still up. Fortunately, I know you have 16 hit points because that's what you got healed to. But he skewers you with this is staring you in the eyes. You can tell their hatred for you is at its peak. You have caused them so much pain, so much misery and they have completely turned their back on spite. It's Trant's turn.

[Trant]

Alright, well I think I'm going to first fire with my shotgun.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Alright. Dzungar has a bit of COVID because you're down below.

[Trant]

Well, I rolled a seven.

[Jason (Game Master)]

You shot the sluice way.

[Spite]

Yep.

[Trant]

I'm gonna discard the shotgun and move into melee and try to stab him with my magic guitar.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So you will need to climb up first.

[Trant]

Oh, I'll do that. Yeah. I'll climb back up and end my turn.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So give me an athletics check.

[Trant]

Yes, there we go. There's a number that's good. That's a 17 plus.

Three.

[Jason (Game Master)]

2020. Okay, so that got you about halfway up this loose way. You need to make me one more check to make it up to the top.

[Trant]

All right. And that's less good. That's a five plus three. So eight.

[Jason (Game Master)]

You kind of stay right where you're at. So you're clinging to the side of this loose way, trying to get your way up to the top.

[Trant]

Climbing. My only enemy.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah, that's right. Gravity. How dare you.

Spite.

[Spite]

All right, Spite is living up to her name and she's not healing herself. But instead she is using a weapon surge to bring down the might of Melanie into my weapon. Which is going to give me a plus one to attack and then also a plus D6 damage. And then is going to scream wordlessly. An infernal just out of clever things to say. Just screaming and hitting with stick.

[Jason (Game Master)]

The funny part is Dzungr understands the infernal. He's like, what?

[Spite]

And that is an 18 to hit.

[Jason (Game Master)]

An 18 is exactly, exactly what you needed.

[Spite]

Oh, thank God. I needed both the bless and the weapon surge in order to get that 18. And that's 15 damage.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Zunger so focused on Squash trident deep inside Squash's guts, is not paying any attention to you at all. Spite. And it would be Zunger's undoing because you bring the morning star down on the back of Zunger's head and the Frog Cultist collapses to the ground in a pool of its own blood. The Goguntan cult has come to an end. This place.

Has been sanctified.

[Spite]

Fuck you, Gogurt.

[Jason (Game Master)]

I yell.

[Trant]

There we go.

[Spite]

It took the might of both Arastal and Melani together. Gave me that edge I needed and.

[Squash]

Good old fashioned gumption. As I like slide bloodily to the ground with a trident.

[Spite]

I come over and lay on hands on you immediately and you get six hit points back.

[Squash]

Oh, that's really nice of you.

[Murdy]

I come over and heal spite. And I mutter to myself something about everybody wants a revolution, but nobody wants to be a support class.

[Squash]

Marty, that's dynamite jokes. You guys are my best friends.

[Trant]

Friends.

[Squash]

I'm like losing lots of blood.

[Jason (Game Master)]

So looking about this place, obviously there's the altar to Gagunta that you can easily tear down. It's mud and stick. It's already on fire from trance bomb. But looking about this place, you come to realize that you still haven't destroyed it. The dam still exists. All the humans are free. All the boggards are dead or driven off. But the dam still exists. Looking down at the end, you see the gate of the sluiceway. It is a large metal contraption that looks like something they scavenged and put together. It also looks pretty solidly stuck in place. However will you get it open?

[Spite]

Trant, this is your moment. But not right now. You need a fuse and we need time to get out.

[Trant]

I got a fuse. All right. I'm gonna mix all my gunpowder and my remaining alchemist fires together. I'm gonna put the gunpowder and the oil in the jar with the lid on it that I bought.

[Jason (Game Master)]

I was wondering if we were ever gonna bring back Chekov's jar.

[Trant]

I'm gonna fill that and I'm gonna have the alchemist fire in front of it. I'll have a nest of fuses. Go from that to the alchemist fires. So those will set off and then they will cook and detonate the oil and gunpowder in the jar. That sounds like it'll work. That's a plausible explosive. Right.

[Spite]

I'm also looting to be while this is happening.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Oh, sure, yeah. I mean it takes a bit for this to get set up. You go up to the top of the sluiceway. You put the jar next to the thing. You pack it in with mud so that it stays in place and begin making your fuse.

[Squash]

Yeah, we have like a Beach Boys montage going in and out of doors. Like a Scooby Doo.

[Spite]

Yeah.

As we're all helping lay explosives. Except I'm looting.

[Squash]

Yeah, I'm dressed in a ghost costume.

[Jason (Game Master)]

There's kind of a cheery montage noise as you're all looting and setting a bomb.

[Squash]

We wave to the crowd, give thumbs.

[Spite]

Up to the camera so you Put.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Together your explosive, you loot this place. You grab a number of valuable items off Giganta, including the trident. A wand that allows you to heal people that birdie probably ends up with a very useful wand. Allows you to cast heal one extra time a day.

[Spite]

Yeah, definitely give you that.

[Murdy]

That's awesome.

[Jason (Game Master)]

There are other trinkets and treasures as well, including a fair amount of money giving you a sizable little stash of coins that you may be able to actually move on from this place with.

[Spite]

Hell yeah.

[Jason (Game Master)]

When it's all said and done, your fuse is ready and lit, your exit route is planned. You know how to get back through the maze and back up to the surface. All that's left is to light it. Who does that?

[Trant]

I mean, I feel like my plan was to light it.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah, sure. That's what I figured.

[Squash]

To your expertise.

[Spite]

Yeah.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right.

[Squash]

Have at it, birthday boy.

[Trant]

Okay, I'm gonna light it, and then I'm gonna tell everybody. We need to run very far now. Time to go however far you're thinking a lot.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah.

So the group of you bolt out of here. You bolt back through the barracks, up through the caves, up the stairs, out through the top, across the dam, across the bridge, and down the other side. And by the time you get there, you're out of breath and looking at each other and wondering, did the fuse work? Did it all play out?

[Spite]

I never doubt Trent.

[Trant]

I sometimes doubt me.

[Jason (Game Master)]

And suddenly, the ground.

Heaves. There is a shudder and shake as the entire area shifts. The center of the dam moves up for just two or three seconds before collapsing in on itself, shattering and spraying mud and dirt and rocks every everywhere. As the sluiceway explodes, blowing the swamp water back before it descends on a rush into the dam, causing the entire thing to crumble in on itself. In a matter of moments, the flood of water wipes it away. Within minutes, the entire structure just comes undone.

[Spite]

We're on the uphill side of this, right?

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Squash]

Great. Just making sure you cannot cage what is wild.

[Jason (Game Master)]

You got wet and very dirty.

[Murdy]

Did we ever find those other two villagers?

[Spite]

Oh, they're dead.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Yeah. You're pretty sure that from speaking to the other villagers, it sounds like a few of them had perished during the war.

[Trant]

If they're not dead, they are now.

[Murdy]

But we didn't, like, find their bodies.

[Jason (Game Master)]

No, you didn't. From what you learned from the villagers, it sounds like they were actually entombed inside the dam.

[Spite]

Oh, they're free now. Their spirits are free.

[Trant]

Yeah, sure.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Gathering up the remaining villagers, you turn back To Bog Bottom.

As the town of Bog Bottom comes into view, a dazzling array of colorful lanterns shine all throughout the tiny village. It appears every resident is waiting at the entrance to greet their lost loved ones. A cheer goes up, and the rescued villagers rush to embrace their friends and family. Ledrusa and the village elders are there to thank you for your bravery, for your cunning, and most importantly, for your compassion. Bog Bottom would have perished if the Boggards hadn't been stopped. And there's no way the locals will ever be able to fully repay such heroics. But it doesn't mean they won't try. All of Bog Bottom has come together for a massive festival. The elders have decided to commemorate this day as the Feast of Heroes, proclaiming it as a new annual tradition for the small swamp town. They promise there will always be a place for you here in Bog Bottom. And of course, there is their promised reward. Each of you is given a pouch of gold and a silver medallion for your efforts. In the days that follow, life returns to normal in Bog Bottom. The water recedes, the fishers return to their favorite haunts, and the people no longer fear the deep places of the swamp. But as things become peaceful, so does restlessness set in. Adventurers such as yourself rarely stay in one place for long. And now it's time to depart the open road and the next adventure awaits. And that concludes dawn of the Frogs. Technically, at this point, you all level up and become Second level heroes. Congrats.

[Spite]

And we all survived.

[Jason (Game Master)]

I'm kind of surprised. I thought I had you.

[Squash]

I had a beautiful death speech.

[Trant]

And I got to blow up a dam.

[Squash]

Yeah, yeah, we got to do eco terrorism. I didn't die. Nobody died.

[Murdy]

I'd like to find some local ne' er do well teenagers and give them half of my perpetual stew and start a new soup cult in this town.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Mm, that's fair. That's fair.

[Trant]

I'll do something similar with a bomb.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Most importantly, you also still have those two bug bombs. And there are still no refunds.

[Spite]

Not even for the hero. Who cares?

[Jason (Game Master)]

You said at the top, no refund.

[Squash]

Merty comes up to me hanging out with some youths, and I'm like, you guys wanna see a cool gun?

And I look at Murdy and don't.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Show the poor children of of Bulk Bottom guns.

[Trant]

We figured out why we have to leave.

[Murdy]

I put my arm around your shoulder and say, let's get you home, old timer.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Listen, there are still many wars occurring across the Inner Sea region. The entire reason you ended up here was because of one such war. And undoubtedly, it will call revolutionaries such as yourself back to the front lines.

[Spite]

And revolutionaries like those that will recruit from Bog bottom when they grow up and understand the need to free people from cages.

[Jason (Game Master)]

That's right.

[Murdy]

Or perpetual stew.

[Squash]

Murdy, you got any more of that? And squash smacks his horrible lips. Magic soup.

[Trant]

It's perpetually freeze frames.

[Jason (Game Master)]

All right.

[Squash]

I like I lap some up.

[Spite]

Fuck yeah.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Well, everybody, this concludes dawn of the Frogs. That is the entire adventure from start to finish. I hope you all had a great time. I did.

[Trant]

I did, too.

[Spite]

I am shocked that you're. I'm not shocked at all. It makes a lot of sense that you're an incredibly good adventure writer.

[Jason (Game Master)]

I've got a lot of practice.

[Spite]

Yeah, it shows. Thank you so much.

[Squash]

Thank you very much.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Well, thank you for having me.

[Murdy]

Thank you, Jason.

[Trant]

Thank you, Jason.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Thank you, everybody. We'll have to do this again sometime.

[Trant]

Maybe.

[Spite]

I know. And so if you all like this, maybe there'll be more.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Please, please, please.

[Squash]

Like this. I would love to do this again.

[Murdy]

Yeah. Should people, like, talk about it on social media or something?

[Trant]

Tell your scream about it on the Internet.

[Squash]

Tell your dog. Tell the mayor. Tell your mom.

[Spite]

Tell the dog.

[Squash]

Mayor.

[Spite]

Mm.

[Trant]

Tell the dogma.

[Jason (Game Master)]

I'm sure we screwed up a whole bunch of rules. That's plenty of things for you to talk about. Yeah.

[Trant]

Yay.

[Squash]

All right. Oh, if you're mad about any rules that I specifically messed up, just make sure to, like, collect all those thoughts and whisper them into a bottle and then throw it into the ocean. I'll get it.

[Trant]

That's right.

[Spite]

All right, well, you all heard our plugs last time, so they're the same. And we're tired and we love you. Well, God, I never end a podcast saying that. That's how tired I am. Robert, you got into my head.

[Trant]

Yeah, I was thinking that because I'm too tired to say it.

[Spite]

All right, well, see y' all next week for Cool Zone Media book club and hopefully more of this at some point. Someway.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Thanks for listening.

[Murdy]

It could happen here as a production.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Of Cool Zone Media.

[Murdy]

For more podcasts from Cool Zone Media, Visit our website, coolzonemedia.com or check us.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Out on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast.

[Murdy]

Or wherever you listen to podcasts you can find sources for. It could happen here, updated [e-mail] sources. Thanks for listening.

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[Jason (Game Master)]

This is where mindset comes in.

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[Jason (Game Master)]

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[Jason (Game Master)]

Watch it on prime video.

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[Spite]

I O if a Lenovo computer for.

[Trant]

Your business is on your holiday list, don't shop around.

[Spite]

Just go directly to the source lenovo.com.

[Trant]

You'Ll find exclusive deals on the PCs.

[Spite]

You want for your business like the ThinkPad X914, Aura Edition and Yoga 7i 2 in 1. So avoid all that shopping chaos and price comparing and just go directly to the source Lenovo.com where PCs are up to 50% off. That's Lenovo.com Lenovo Lenovo.

[Jason (Game Master)]

This is Julian Edelman from Games With Names. Fantasy football can be exhausting. I mean that literally. You're so anxious over your lineup you can't fall asleep. Best way to deal with it is unisom. There's a reason it's the number one doctor recommended over the counter sleep aid brand.

[Squash]

It helps you fall asleep faster, wake.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Up less and feel refreshed in the morning. Plus, unisom sleep tabs are clinically tested and proven, effective and completely non habit forming. So make the ultimate sleeper pick and.

[Squash]

Put it to bed with Unisom.

[Jason (Game Master)]

Use as directed.

[Murdy]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.