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- [00:00]
A
You got a minute? I want to show you how to be a time management wizard. You know, one of the reasons I became a time management wizard is I wasn't very good with time at all. But I had an army of mentors and influences that changed my life. If you ever tour a buffining company, one of the things you'll see is the wall of gratitude. People like Henry Cloud and Zig Ziglar and Jim Rohn. Here's Neil Armstrong, the first man on the moon. Here's people have spoken to my life like Daniel Goleman. Here's Mel Robbins, here's the great Mitch Albaum, all of these great folks. There's Jay Leno, the great Lou Holtz. Rest in peace. All of these characters spoke into my life and they helped me develop skills. And the number one skill I developed is how to manage my time. So join me today. I'm going to show you how to be a time management wizard. Today's blueprint is how to be a time management wizard. Would you guys like to learn how to handle your time a little better? Everybody wishes they had more time. I've asked audiences all over the world, 47 countries, what would you do with an extra day? Or what would you do with an extra hour in your day? When I asked that specific question, people shout out. I'd exercise, I'd read, I'd spend time with my family. I do this, I do that. Do you know what the answer is? There is an actual, true answer. If you had 25 hours in your day, do you want to know what the answer is? You would do exactly with that hour what you do with the 24 you got. Now, the fact of the matter is, some people do more with their time than others. You know that. Have you ever heard the phrase waste time? Like someone who wastes money? And then people talk about spend time. I spent time at the beach. Nobody ever thinks of it. In terms of investment, a return on investment. Those terms are only ever taught in regards to money, time and money. Let me ask you, at the end of your life, what would you rather have more of? More money, more time. You're on your deathbed. Oh, if only I could have added a zero. The people who come after you might have thought that we all want more time. So I'm going to talk how to be a time management wizard. Do you know I'm a time management wizard? You know, the best kind of person who's become successful at something is the person who was the worst. My whole life growing up, I was late for everything. It's one of the reasons I got so good at talking, because I'd always have a great entertaining reason for why I was late. I could tell great stories and I would entertain people while I would tell them why I was late. And I would do this my whole life. And then I got into real estate and I'm a young married man and I helped this couple buy a home. And the lady in the marriage, her dad was a very famous guy. He was in the who's who back in the day. They used to have a book called who's who. He was in the who's who as the most organized man in America. He was a brilliant guy, same as Dr. Alex Lackey. And he met with me and he kind of took a shine to me. And I was this young Irish fireball trying to get things going in the real estate business. He said, I'd love to have lunch with you. I would love to have lunch with you. He had written ten best selling books. He had performed multiple times at Carnegie Hall. He'd written symphonies. He was the principal of a school in Orange County, a private school in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in America, where people would sleep in sleeping bags the night before to enroll their kids. They had a year and a half waiting list to get in his school. Everything he did turned to gold. He was a time management wizard and the most organized man in America. So what do you think happens for our very first luncheon appointment? I'm late and I had a great story. And he sat there patiently and he listened. And he said, brian, you're an excellent communicator. That's why I wanted to meet with you today. But he said, I wonder if you've ever thought about this. He said, what's the most important motivation for you in business when you're working with your clients? You did such a great job for my daughter. What's your number one motivation? I said, the people will trust me. He goes, that's great. Because he said, I see that in you. He said, do you understand that we're about to sit down and have a lunch today and you already broke trust with me? He said, brian, you wrote a check on my trust account. Isn't there trust accounts in real estate, Brian? He says, you just wrote a check. And he said, you know what else, Brian? You communicated that you are more important than I am because your time is more valuable. You showed up late, you filled up your time and showed up here late and broke trust with me. And you may not know this, but I have quite a few people who'd love to sit down, have lunch with me today. And he said, you're the one I chose. Now. Everything that happened in the rest of our relationship for the rest of my life with Dr. Alex Lackey never stuck with me like that because I never equated the currency of time with trust. I never understood that, oh, I'm always late. I'm always late. I'm always late. I didn't realize that that was just a record and what Dr. Lackey taught me and the best way I could describe it. And we did this in an episode of this show, Back to the original Brian Buffini show, episode 59. Well, I actually did an interview from 1999, before Alex Lackey died. And you can hear from the great man himself. You understand how wise he was. He trained me like Mr. Miyagi, wax on, wax off. He showed me the ropes, and I went from being. Here's what's exciting, the worst time management guy in the world to the best. I am never late for anything, ever, ever. I am always on time because I'm always early, because I never want to break trust with people. I never want to start that way. I had to teach people that. I sometimes tell stories about the plane. The plane is an easy thing to talk about, but there's many times on that Runway right up the street in Carlsbad, where one of my staff was on the Runway as this beautiful Learjet took off right on time. Some of them were family members standing there waiting. How do I get to Toronto? I'm looking forward to finding out how you do that, because I'm going to love you the same way Dr. Lackey love me. Dr. Lackey helped me become a time management wizard because time management is a skill. You don't have to come out of the womb. Some people are predisposed. He was predisposed and he became skilled. I was not naturally time management efficient, and I became a strong suit for me, to the point of something I'm known for. So here's how I do it. I lay out my year, I plan my month, I schedule the week, and I prioritize the day. Time management, by definition, is the ability to use one's time effectively or productively. Have you ever felt like you wasted time? Have you ever gone home and said, man, what I get done today, Time management, the skill that should never happen. With the skill, you just wasted a day. That day you will never get back in your life again. So how do I lay out my year? The first Thing I do and the reason why I have a happy life, happy wife, happy family is I lay out my calendar and it starts with personal. Now my calendar is in demand. I get three to 4,000 speaking requests a year. I have a company that says can you do this and can you do this? If I did 100 events they'd want 150. If I did 200, they do 250. If I do a three hour meet and greet with my customers, they want to know why I didn't stay for five. So I am in a position where I'll never please anybody with the volume of my time. I can only live inside the priority of my time. So the first thing I do is I start with my vacations. Then significant events, weddings, graduations, birthdays, anniversaries. We're doing a big event in Dallas in October, leadership event. And our co host of the Brian Buffini show, Ethan Butte calls me up. He's a brand new staff person. We're having a conversation his first day. He's got a significant role to play in this leadership event. And the first thing I asked him was you got any conflicts? He goes, there's a wedding coming up. I said well you don't need to be there. He's like well man, this is my big coming out party. Well the first question because that's my priority. And we worked out the dates and said ah, no, I can do that and go to the wedding. Great. Because that's where I start my year. Family, graduations, birthdays, anniversaries. I've never put on an event, 2500 events. Never put on an event on one of my kids birthdays. Never put an event on on my wife and I's anniversary again. Only did that once, never did it again. Family commitments, sporting events. I have six kids that played three sp sports competitively. All of them went on to play in college or pursuing an Olympic career. My kids events. I turned down million dollar speaking engagements to go to a basketball game for my boys and then client parties. For me as a real estate agent, client parties were a priority and I built them into my calendar. They were the biggest bang for book, biggest ROI for me and my database. So client party. Same as I do a client party now. Whether it's a mastermind or a peak experience an event like that in planning the month, it's what to include in your monthly calendar. Well, you scheduling to stick. For me, my marketing. My marketing is the most important thing for a business. It's marketing first. So I'm laying Out my marketing. The second thing I'm laying out is when I go see my customers face to face. These are the priorities for my business. When am I going to see my customers face to face? And then what am I going to do? A little business networking. That's how I plan my month. When it gets the schedule of my week, I look at the calendar and I go first thing, I choose my day off. You know, people in the real estate and lending business, self employed people, were terrible at taking days off. And especially now our phones can be reached all the time. What's my day off? If I take a day off, I'll be great for the other six. When people don't take a day off, I find they're very poor for seven. Okay. I don't want a surgeon operating on me who hasn't taken a day off in three weeks. No, buddy, I want you rested up. Okay? So choose your day off then. I prioritize my lead generation activities. You catching a theme? Marketing, lead generation. That's the key. No company ever went out of business because they had too many customers. Ever. And then I set aside specific times. In a real estate agent, it was buyer appointments and seller appointments. Today it's broadcasts and seminars. Set aside the time. The last piece here is prioritizing the day. A, B, C, D, your day. You start with a daily to do list. Not an original thought, but what I do is I make sure that the A activities are on the top. You see, completed work is exhilarating and incomplete work is exhausting. So what have we got a tendency to do with our to do list? Put the easy stuff on there first. Check, check, check. The more successful you become, the less check marks you'll have on your day. You have to learn. I got this one done. I got half of this one done. And that my list is going to be longer at the end of the day than it was at the beginning. Not a great ceiling, but when you're doing that, that's when you're operating at the highest level. You want to know what people at the top do, that's what they do. So a daily to do list. I like to do it the night before. I like to think about it overnight. So I do my prioritized things to do list. My great mentor, Zig Ziglar used to say, put the difficult things at the top. He say doing difficult things is like eating a frog. The longer you look at it, it ain't going to get any prettier. So if you're going to eat A frog. Do it quick. So if I have a hard conversation, if your phone rings and you work for me and it's before 8 o', clock, it's a difficult call. So have a daily to do list then. Next, exercise. Non negotiable. When do I get it done? When do I get it done? Okay. Yesterday I was supposed to go for a hike in the middle of the day. I didn't do it. I went home and worked out in the dark. When am I going to get it done? Why? Because when you're self employed, if you're sick, so is your business. So the other dynamic is it's the greatest thing you can do for your mind. It's the greatest thing you can do for psychology. I recommend when you work out, you can listen to music, but don't listen to any talking. Some of you walk with me every morning, like, okay, I get it. If it's relaxing for you, if it allows your mind to get stimulated, that's fine. But don't listen to the latest political show or the latest hack or the latest sports where they're fighting and biting and scratching and clawing. It should be something that builds you up, certainly not something that tears you down. For many years we had a thing called the Win the day formula, right? Was built on a little French poem. For want of the nail, the shoe was lost. For want of the shoe, the horse was lost. For want of the horse, the rider was lost. For want of the writer, the message was lost. For want of the message, the battle was lost. And for one of the battle, the war was lost. All for the want of the one shoe nail. The win the day formula is about the average day and the nail that you put in it. You know, when somebody's overweight, they go, one more piece of piece is not going to hurt me. When somebody's in up their eyeballs in debt. Well, one more purchase on the credit card is not going to hurt me. When somebody feels like they're not winning. What's, what's two hours going to do for me? I'll tell you what two hours can do. In our system, our average clients sell 10 times the volume and the income of their competitors. 10 times. And that number is held for 27 years. Think about that. 27 years. A community in the tens of thousands have averaged no less than 10 times the income of their competitors. I'd say that's a pretty good formula. You give us two hours a day, we coach you up for two hours a day, five days a week. You do this system, you'll be a millionaire. How many hours are in it? 24. We're asking for two. Are we asking for two in perfection? No. You give us two hours a day, four days a week. There's seven in the week. If you can do four out of the seven days with two hours a day, you are on a rockstar plan. Oh, buddy. How many weeks are in a year? 4.3 weeks. In a month. Right. How many weeks are in a month? 4.3. What do we need? Three weeks. Three weeks of four days with two hours. And how many months are in a year? 12. How many months do we need to win? Eight months. So imagine this. Two hours a day, four days in the week, three weeks out of the month, and eight months out of the year. That's our formula for making a millionaire. That's our formula for being a time management wizard. Because perfection doesn't need to be here. Perfection doesn't allow for life, sickness, sideways joy and pain. And so we don't need people to be perfect. We coach people for a living. But what we do is we help them lay out the year, plan the month, schedule the week, and prioritize the day. And when they do that, they become time management wizards. And when you become a time management wizard, your time becomes more valuable and the fortune follows. That's today's blueprint.
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B
Pretty soon, via the Bull Trail Buffini partnership, you will be able to ask Buffini. All of the work, all of the presentations, all of the coaching calls, all of the insights, all in the palm of your hand, all connected to your own CRM data to help you run your business far more effectively and to get way more input into making the next best decision or taking the next right step. But right now we're going to ask Brian. My name is Ethan Butte. I get to ask Brian. I'm the chief ambassador here at Buffinian Company. Thanks for allowing me to ask you about time management. You're a wizard, Brian.
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A
I am a wizard.
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B
You have gotten a lot done over the years. The first thing I want to do is find out when you became consciously aware of time as an asset that you could manage.
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A
Well, I told the story in the blueprint about Dr. Alex Lackey. that time, I didn't realize that time was an asset like money. And I had read biblical principles about stewardship, right? So you steward your kids, you steward your money, you steward your time. But it wasn't really until I had that experience that I realized, oh, I was frivolous with time on occasion. One of the exercises, I didn't get into it. One of the exercises that Dr. Lackey had me do was he had me as my first exercise journal. He gave me this little egg timer. Remember the egg timers?
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B
Oh, yeah.
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A
Well, you could set it for 15 minutes. And he said, here's what I want you to do when you're in the office. Back in the day, you worked in the office most of the day except when you went on appointments. And I'd set this egg timer for every 15 minutes. And when the egg timer went on, went off, I had to write down what I'd done the previous 15 minutes. I did that for five days. Now, as you can imagine, I'm about to present my journal to a new mentor. So I put the best spin on it I could. Sure. So I'm like, yes. And I was, you know, and, and let's just say I was definitely self aggrandizing in what I did the previous 15 minutes. I did that exercise and I probably didn't, didn't even make five days. Candidly, I was shattered because I started looking at it and that's when I first realized I wasn't even spending two hours a day doing the things that actually drove my business, that actually made me money, that actually served my customers. And by the time I met with Dr. Lackey, I already knew I was. He. He didn't even. And he just had that knowing smile. He was just such a wise human being. He knew I had done the exercise, he knew I would put the best foot forward and he knew that I had less than a couple hours a day of doing the stuff that actually made the most impact. And so that was really between the first conversation where time and trust had something to do with one another and then secondly, what I actually do with my day. And that's really what became the origin of what evolved into the Win the Day formula, which then got taken, by the way. Our Win the Day formula was first taught in Oregon and there was an assistant coach for the University of Oregon there. And it got turned into a Nike symbol, Win the Day and all that. So I didn't trademark it, but our whole Win the Day format, two hours a day, four days a week, three weeks a month, eight months a year, that dynamic became like a rallying cry for Nike, if you can believe it. So, but it all started with Dr. Lackey and he helped me understand a, that time and being on time was a trust dynamic and respect. And then secondly, when I did the exercise, it was transformative.
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B
Yeah. So in that this idea of documenting your time, you know, I've heard that in a variety of contexts. Fortunately for you, you got it turned onto it pretty early in your career. And I'm sure it's helped you be far more productive in the meantime. The other thing is like the judgment in that. So people need to be aware and they need to make judgments about it. And so in the blueprint, you're talking about wasting time versus spending time versus investing time. And I know for myself, when I am reflective on how I spent my time, did I invest it favorably or did I waste it? That can be really difficult to sort out because we do need to rest, relax and recharge. You spoke about the importance obviously of exercise. Any tips for someone who is maybe reflecting on how they have spent their time or where their time has gone and how to make judgments about when it's okay to rest, you know, versus
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A
if you think the win the day formula, Ethan, it's two hours a day. It's two out of 24. Yeah. By the way, two out of 24 is a millionaire formula. Right. I don't think most people are going to get there okay, so you want to get halfway there. It's an hour a day. That's plenty of time. So for example, my morning routine, my morning routine is over an hour. It starts with reading, some prayer I do a practice, some call it medication, that for me it's called contemplative prayer. Then it's whatever form of exercise I'm going to do, which typically is an hour and then it's a cold shower I do that I'm good for, good for the day. I will tell you that my routine on occasion is longer than my productivity of the day. However, when I do my routine, I find skin and hair flies with productivity and I can get an awful lot done. The Ask Buffini engineers are going through all the content. I mean we have servers and servers, hundreds and hundreds of hours of video training. You know, I have five best selling books and all these different things are like, like one of the engineers. It's gonna take me a year and a half to download all the content into Aspini before we get to the coaching of three main coaching calls getting put in there. So I've been very productive. And so I believe that this prioritization, this balance I talked about, you know, taking a day off and going to see my, my grandbabies and buying groceries and making breakfast. Buying groceries and making l. So it's all built in there. So, you know, the planning, the Scheduling, the structure is all about to me, putting life in first, putting that balancing. I don't believe balance, but I believe balancing. It's kind of like being on a surfboard, being on a Bosu ball. You know, life is a balancing act. Get those priorities in. And then here's the thing people say to me, when do you get to the calls, notes and Popeyes, Brian, when do you fit them in? You felt. That's the question and that's the question I'm asking. And I will say this, everyone who asks me that question is struggling. When do you fit that stuff in? I don't fit them in. They're non negotiable. I fit everything else in. There are things in my day that I wake up every day and I'm like, this is non negotiable. Like if there's an earthquake, I'm getting this done today. And for me, at one stage, I was 85% of the revenue of this company. Okay, will you do the math? I needed to make around $150,000 a day, every day I worked. Well, you can't be screwing around doing that stuff. You know, if I want to keep the doors open, I got to create $150,000 worth of revenue today. I'd better be honest. And so the balance, the life that to me produces the quality and supports the purpose, and then, hey, skin and hair flying, non negotiable. I don't fit anything in. Those are the priorities. I'm getting those done.
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B
So that's laying out the year, planning the month, scheduling the week, and prioritizing the day. And in that scenario. So I've, in the business I've been in, prior to Buffini and Company, you've often used a format that we refer to as rocks. You know, rocks for order so that you can hit your annual goals. And of course, the idea is you put the rocks in first because otherwise it's going to get filled up with pebbles and sand and you're not going to get those same things done. And so if you're watching on YouTube, there's a back button. If you're listening to Apple podcasts or Spotify, there's a back button. The back button exists so you can go back and listen to Brian break down how to prioritize that time. I encourage folks to do that. So respecting other people by respecting their time. This idea of trust that you picked up around not being late, I worked with a person, I will obviously not name this person, but repeatedly, every meeting and every call, five to 10 minutes late. Other people told me that this was going to be the case. We would get on a call, this person would show up and be like, ah, sorry I'm late, I'm just late. You know, I'm going to be five to 10 minutes late. I don't understand that mindset and it seems to break so many things down. I guarantee there's someone watching or listening right now who thinks about themselves or says these things. Now I'm going back to our previous episode of the Brian Buffini show about the ideas that we tell ourselves. How do you advise somebody to break out of that pattern?
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A
Well, I was broken out of, if you remember in the blueprint, Dr. Lackey, he was fair, he was gracious, but he's firm where he just let me know, like you don't realize you're breaking trust. Like you're breaking trust. And the reason being is the greatest. You know, we live in a more self consumed culture than ever before. You know, people, I, I let people in all the time. I'm, I'm very gracious on the road. I grew up with that in Ireland. Like the, the amount of people who raise their hand or acknowledge that you just saved them a bunch of time is like zero. We're in a self consumed world. Like people will walk across you with their nose in the phone. You've seen this? Yeah, yeah. And they like blow you right over.
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B
I see it on the interstate at 80 miles an hour.
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A
Yeah. So here's the thing. If you want to be successful, you got to stand out from amongst the competition. You got to do, you know, 80% of the people will not be wealthy. Eighty percent of the people will not be happily married. 80% of the people will not have fantastically successful families. 80%, that's the fact. So go where the crowd is. So the dynamic is with regards to time, here's how I view it. See, I know I need to make $150,000 a day and I presume you do. Now you might be making $150 a day and you might be my handyman, but I treat that the other person like they need to make $150,000 a day too. So what it means is I'm self consumed. I don't value your time. I've cloaked my ineptitude and pre diagnosed exam excuses. And every time I do this, I break trust with you. I'm going to let a person know that. Now if someone shows up for me, like I talked about leaving them on the Runway with the airplane, that Typically only happens once, twice with my brother, because he was a hard case.
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B
But we get the message.
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A
Here's the next thing. I'm not showing up for the next meeting. I won't be there. Send me the notes. Send me the notes. Not out of arrogance, none of ego, but actually our relationship has been damaged enough where you don't value me to the point that you don't value my time. And I don't care if you're my boss. If I'm working in a job. The fact of the matter is, the only way the relationships can be healthy is there's mutual respect. And to consistently show up late is the greatest form of disrespect, because the only thing in this world that matters is time. And so you can get more money, you'll never get more time. And so it's the greatest form of disrespect to a human being. So am I overselling it here? Not at all. If somebody's chronically late, watch what happens when you actually make the effort to show up on time. Watch what happens when you make the effort to show up early. By the way, you'll be like a junkie. What do I do with the 10 minutes? Well, how about Arthur Brooks sit and think.
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B
Yeah.
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A
Take a few minutes to prepare for the meeting. Write a few notes down. The people who do this are the people who are at the top. I don't know anyone, and I have met dozens of billionaires. I don't know anyone at the top of the ladder who's chronically late and who shows up consistently late and shows up apologizing to start a conversation. I know no one at the top who does that anywhere. So if you want to be at the top, do with people at the top.
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B
Do good. I'm going to build a bridge between coach him up and ask Brian with something. I'm going to ask you to coach up a pretend agent who feels like their schedule is driven by their clients. They struggle to set boundaries. They are taking phone calls in the middle of family dinner because it's difficult to do. I've had this conversation with all kinds of folks at all levels of the business where they struggle to set those boundaries, carve out vacations and things like that. How would you advise someone who feels like they are busying themselves 12, 14 hours a day, being at the beck and call of clients and other people who need and want their time and attention, rather than taking control and having it all work together?
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A
Well, I can be very tight with this. Read the book Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud. It sold 20 million copies. Henry's one of my great friends. We've had him on the show here several times. He also has boundaries for teams, which is a very powerful one. When you're either leading a team or part of a team, the bottom line is boundaries are the key. I made the commitment to take Sundays off as a realtor. Now you can imagine people are doing open houses on Sundays. There's a lot of offers on Sundays, a lot of conversations on Sundays. And when people referred me, they, they started using an asterisk when they referred me.
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B
But don't call him on Sunday.
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A
Hey, just saying, he's great. He does a great job. We loved him. That just so you know, he doesn't work Sundays. Well, how great was that for me that the expectation was set the first five years of my business that I didn't work Sundays? I no less than double my income from the previous year. And so I found I was better. My family had something to look forward to. There was something sacred. You know, one of the things we struggle being self employed, especially in the real estate business, we unintentionally communicate to our families that Mrs. Murphy with her leak and roof is more important than you. Why? Because I just stepped out of the game. I just stepped out of dinner. And that happens enough. And I think kids and families are full of grace for that. But they have to have something that's theirs. So whatever it is, if it's I take a half day Wednesday or I do a Thursday or whatever it is, you know, whether it's time off or straight up, I'm taking a vacation. I would explain to my clients, I'm going on vacation. I'm excited because I'm going to come back. Better for you. And oh, by the way, here's who. I have taken care of my business while I'm gone. And just so you know, they're world class. I'm going to introduce you to them. They're on it. And I'll be back. And I'll be razor sharp and I'll be. If there's $50 to be negotiated, I'll be on it like white on rice again. I don't want a surgeon operating on me who hasn't taken a day off in 21 days. And he's working 12 hours and sucking out coffee.
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C
Red Bulls.
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A
I'll wait. When are you going to the Bahamas? Yeah. So it's about setting those boundaries. And any client that says, I'm going to fire you, good, because we're trying to build clients for life.
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B
Yeah. Respect is a two way street.
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A
It is. And I don't want your referrals. I don't want you. I don't need your commission and I don't want your referrals. And people say, well, that's easy for you, Brian, because you were rich. I'm telling you, when I was broke and new, I fired a client like that. And it did more for me than it did for the customer. It did more for me. Oh, I'm really going to be true to myself and set boundaries. But Henry Cloud's book, definitely, it's the best book ever written on the subject. I would listen, I would read and I would learn.
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B
Very good. Thank you so much. It is time to coach em Up.
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A
Well, welcome to coach Em up on location in beautiful Maui. We're here at the site of our peak experience event. Just having a good time with folks and we had a pop by. Tell everybody who you are, where you're from.
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C
I'm Christine Machal and I'm from northern Colorado. Loveland, Colorado. Exactly.
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A
Beautiful. I used to land my plane in Loveland. They have a nice little left field. Used to gas up on my way to San Diego. All right, kiddo, tell everybody a little bit how long you've been in the business.
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C
So I've been in the business 11 years.
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A
How long you been with us?
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C
10.
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A
10, 10. She said I'm wearing my bulfini blue hang out. You look great. Yeah, yeah. So you basically since you got in the biz. So what kind of biz do you do? Do you have an assistant team? Where are you at with all that?
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C
So my daughter is my better half. My. We're the Chris and Kate team. Chris and Kate real estate. So we serve everything north of Denver. And she joined me about six years ago and we also serve Wyoming. So she got licensed in Wyoming.
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A
Smart.
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C
She's ambitious and she keeps me rolling.
- [31:37]
A
Great. What kind of transactions you do here? Like volume wise, 25 million.
- [31:43]
B
Great.
- [31:43]
C
Is what we do in Colorado. Makes that pretty easy because it's pretty expensive.
- [31:46]
A
Yeah, that's good. Great. Well, I like. Yeah, it's not nearly as expensive as San Diego. That's why I open an office there.
- [31:52]
C
So that's why they're all moving.
- [31:53]
A
Yeah. So great. You're on. Coach him up. We're here live.
- [31:57]
C
Yes.
- [31:58]
A
You said you have a complicated question for me. I'm ready.
- [32:00]
C
All right. And I have to use my phone because it's that complicated. So how can I build a business with my daughter that Strengthens our relationship.
- [32:07]
A
Yeah.
- [32:08]
C
And builds lasting wealth and character. And maintains healthy boundaries as our roles evolve.
- [32:14]
A
Fantastic. So how long have you guys been working together?
- [32:18]
C
Six years.
- [32:18]
A
Yeah. So you probably bumped into one another once in a while. And you guys have obviously done great. And it's challenged. Look, I have. I've worked with family my whole life. I grew up in the painting business with family. I worked. I had four brothers working with me at Buffini. And in the last six months, four of my kids have joined me in Buffini company, which I never intended. So let me give you some of the keys to the kingdom here. And who's your coach?
- [32:40]
C
Lisa Barabicio.
- [32:42]
B
Yeah. Yeah.
- [32:43]
A
She's great.
- [32:43]
C
She is awesome.
- [32:44]
A
Lisa has great emotes. She does AI versions of herself and she's kind of fun.
- [32:48]
C
She is blunt. And that's what we need.
- [32:50]
B
Yeah.
- [32:50]
C
And I love that.
- [32:51]
A
You know what? And you know what? She's something else with other people. She knows what you guys.
- [32:54]
C
Yes. Yeah.
- [32:55]
A
So Lisa will be listening. So here's where we're going to start. Start with the real strengths profile. Here's your strengths. Your daughter's name is Caitlin. Caitlin. Here's Caitlin's strengths. And then coach is going to come in here, say, let's build a job description around yours. Let's build a job description around yours. What that does is naturally build great boundaries. Okay. Because as you've been down the journey now, it's like, oh, why? Because mom and daughter always, right. The family, we know each other, it's too familiar. And so it's natural. This is a very natural thing. You guys are doing great already. But we're going to get more specific on the job descriptions around your real strengths profile.
- [33:36]
B
Okay?
- [33:37]
A
Okay. Do you guys have an assistant yet?
- [33:39]
C
We just let her go. We have a PC and we have a social media, so we will get there. Great.
- [33:44]
A
Then you definitely will need an assistant. Especially as when you guys tap into the power, more of your profiles, your business is going to grow, significant. Okay? So you're going to need someone who's in the middle, knows both you guys. And coach is going to help there. So first thing to think, second thing, and this is advice I give all the time. Henry Cloud, great friend of mine, wrote the best book ever on the subject, which is boundaries. So if you guys listen or if you guys read Henry Cloud's book, boundaries, just not optional.
- [34:11]
C
Okay.
- [34:11]
A
Even has boundaries for teams, which is the next level.
- [34:13]
C
Okay.
- [34:14]
A
But I would just listen to that and then I would meet and say what you get from that what you get from there.
- [34:19]
C
Okay.
- [34:19]
A
Okay. And then share your findings with coach. So we start with the profile. Profile match with the job description. Then we do boundaries. And then the third thing is this. As much as you're the same, you're not. What are your goals? What are her goals? Where do they cross over? Where do they veer off? And let me tell you, the magic is in the difference, okay? The magic is in the difference. And where both of you get to. Oh, I fully get to be me. She fully gets to be herself. And you see these nuances in the goals, and that's where the magic is, okay? Because that's really where what I call the desires of the heart lie. And so now, all of a sudden, you guys are assisting one another to get where your heart's desires are, as opposed to it's my way or your way. Mom versus daughter. It's like, no. No. One and one together makes 11. Like, the truth of the matter is, the Greeks have a lot of great words that we use in. In English, the word for family is tema, T E m e in Greek. And it's where we get the word team. So their word for family is our word for team. You guys are designed to be a team. Like, that's how you're designed to be. But it's all the stuff and whatever. When you were six years of age, you know, mom, you said this to me. So now it's profile, job description, boundaries, goals. Okay? And the difference in the goals is not, oh, you want to go this way and you want to go there. No, I'm going to help you reach your heart's desires. And, mom, I'm going to help you reach your heart's desires. And now there's magic. Okay. And now it's joy. And now it's. Yeah. It's okay that we want a few different things, right? It's okay.
- [36:00]
C
We. Yeah. So can I ask you. So this is my formal question, my heart question.
- [36:06]
A
Yeah.
- [36:06]
C
Caitlin's like, mom, just ask really what you wanted. She's like, okay, so when money doesn't become your motivation, Obviously money, it's 25 years old. Is her motivation, Right? Of course. It better be. I'm on the other end. And so at what? I love real estate. I've always loved real estate because I love helping people. I truly believe real estate, it changes lives. Right? So that's my heart, But I'm also getting to the end.
- [36:33]
A
So here's the deal. Your goal is time. Her goal is net worth.
- [36:36]
C
Okay. Yes.
- [36:38]
A
Follow yeah, it doesn't. She's 25. I don't know a 25 year old that doesn't want to be rich. Okay. Just most of aren't willing to do what she's willing to do.
- [36:46]
C
Right.
- [36:46]
A
Okay. She's willing to do it. So she's got, she's 25 years old. Oh my gosh. The compounding cycles in front of her. She's six years a realtor. She started when she was 19. She sounds like me. So she has every seven years she's going to compound and double her net. Okay. You're at a different stage. Your job is to manage your net worth. So to buy back your tide.
- [37:10]
C
Yes.
- [37:10]
A
You want to know how rich I am? You want to really know how rich I am? Last week I took Friday and I went grocery shopping for my daughter Amy who has that eight week old baby. And I went grocery shopping and then I went and made her lunch and I had time with my little baby grandson and then I went over to Escondido to my daughter in law and I did her grocery shopping and I made her dinner and mama joined me. That's how wealthy I am. You follow? So you want time. She's ready to grow. Great. Well, we got some great investing principles. Tomorrow at peak, I'll be showing you the ten best Brian Buffini show episodes to help her grow a net worth. So she just needs to listen and follow. And when the time has come, I'll refer to some people who can help her with her net worth. You need to grow your net worth so you have time. So what you're asking is the most logical question of all. So your definition of wealth 10 years from now would be time. Her definition of wealth 10 years from now is her net worth. And we'll put her in a spot so she's able to do this. She'll be sitting her.
- [38:16]
C
Yeah.
- [38:16]
A
And she'll have her kid working with her and she'll be like now kids, I'm looking for time. You're looking for net worth. How great would that be? How great would it be that if grandma is watching the real estate thing and you've got all the time, she's now buying her time and grandbaby is coming on, doing deals, making it happen.
- [38:33]
C
Love it.
- [38:34]
A
Good stuff.
- [38:34]
C
That's fantastic.
- [38:37]
A
Well, thanks for spending some time with us today. I hope you enjoyed today's show. I hope you learned, laughed and maybe you can implement a few how to's. One thing we would love you to do and do us a favor to share this show with a friend. We're trying to get the word out. The way you can help us is by liking and subscribing. Maybe you're an audio listener only, come check us out and watch the video. It's a lot of fun. We'd love to be more and more part of your life and your family and friends life, your colleagues and co workers life. So please share the message, get the word out and we'll see you next time on the Brian Buffini Show.