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- [00:00]
Brian Buffini
Give me a minute here, and I'm going to show you how you are made for more. I'm standing outside our fountain, outside our headquarters at Buffining company. It symbolizes the sequence of success. We've helped millions of people transform their lives. You know why? Because we know that all of you are made for more. We know that you have gifts. We know that you have skills. And we know that you have a natural design. You're actually made for more. You're built to be great. You have untapped potential. And we're going to show you how to tap into it. And when you tap into that man, you can't tell the person of one day to the next. So join me for today's blueprint. And I'm going to show you how you are made for more. In today's blueprint, we're going to talk about being made for more. There is one question that I've asked of 4 million people in live events. And every single person at Every event in 47 different countries always raises their hands when I ask them this question. I'll ask the audience, how many of you in here feel like you have some untapped potential? And every hand shoots up. Now, I've often thought about this question because first and foremost, why are people so willing to share that? People are rarely willing to share in public something they're embarrassed about, something they're ashamed of, something that could be a disgrace. So why would they so readily raise their hand and say, I have some untapped potential? Because it's perceived as a positive. It's that hope. I know I'm capable of more. I know I'm made for more. And I know I have untapped potential. Here's my question to you, everyone who's ever raised their hands. And any of you listening or watching today, what do you do with that untapped potential? Do you get to take it with you? Do you know what dies with you? You know that your potential ends in the grave. What then? I always ask people, are you going through a tough time? Well, wouldn't now be a time to use your potential? You have some tough circumstances. Wouldn't be a now a time to use on everything you've got? We all know we're made for more. Are we willing to pay the price? Here's my challenge to everyone watching and listening today. When you have untapped potential and that potential is not realized every hour of every day, you're not in pursuit of that potential. You become depressed. You become cynical. You become Negative. You start to doubt yourself. You start to become insecure. You start to become fearful. So there's a price. There's a price to pay. Like, there's a price to being in shape, and there's a price to losing your health. There's a price to living inside your budget and finances. And there's a price when you don't. There's a price to spending time with your spouse and kids. And there's a price when you don't. See, everything comes with a price, including the gifts and talents we've been given. The truth is, we're all made for more. And you got to use it or you'll lose it. And if it atrophies and goes away, it takes a toll on you. So my championing of all of you today is I'm going to give you three elements of how I know you're made for more. Because I've seen people with limited talent do extraordinary things, and I've seen people of extraordinary talent do limited things. I want to be as a coach and as the head of a coaching company, we want to pull the greatness out of people. We've never put greatness into anybody. We've never had to. Because all of us made in the image of the creator have been given these three things. First, gifts. Second, our skills, and then third, our design. So I want you to embrace your gifts. I want you to leverage your skills, and I want you to lean into your design. So first, let's talk about your gift. A gift is a natural ability or a capacity that comes from something you do easily, that is more very difficult for other people to do. Have you ever had that experience where somebody's struggling with something you do every day you do effortlessly? And you've even asked, like, why do they struggle with that? That's because you have a gift. The next thing you want to do is maximize your gifts, leverage your gifts, lean into your gifts, use your gifts every day. And then here's the secret. And this is where we do this. In coaching, we help people withhold their gifts. Do you know that your gifts that get you in the greatest amount of trouble? See, I'm a refiner by nature. So a refiner who knows how to make something better. Is that a good gift to have? I know how to make businesses better. I know how to make people better. It's what I do. I walk in, I know how to make buildings better. Everywhere I go, I make things better. Is that a gift? So how would it be a curse? Well, sometimes I'M trying to make my kids better all the time. Sometimes I lead with the refinement instead of, hey, you did great, and later on going, and, dad, what else do you think I could do? How about you try this as opposed to leading with, you know, when you turn that corner, if you'd have done this, you'd have scored an extra eight points. So when you lead with your gift, sometimes you realize, oh, I have to withhold it there. So it's actually mastery of your gifts. Let me tell you how important this is. This is the secret sauce in our coaching program. Often imitated, never duplicated. You know, dozens of companies, dozens of real estate companies today have coaching programs. They've modeled after Buffini and Company and they fail spectacularly. They even sometimes hire our coaches, model or knock off our content and fail spectacularly. How is that possible? Well, you see, there's a whole gumbo ingredient here. And one of the ingredients in the gumbo is this dynamic we call a real strengths profile. I bought a company 30 years ago for a million dollars. Can you imagine what that would be worth today? Because it was an ability for a profile to understand people's natural gifts and abilities so we could help identify their gifts, teach them to leverage their gifts, and show them how to withhold their gifts. Now, I've got five or six more minutes with you on my blueprint today, and I could spend an hour to two hours with you on this profile. Instead, I'd rather do something for you. I'm going to give you a gift of this. And it's the assessment, which is kind of like the introduction to this, and it's a real strength assessment. And all I want you to do is go to the brianbafinishow.com RSA or the letter or I have a hard time saying that in American accent. SA okay. And what you'll do is spend about 10 minutes and we'll give you this free assessment, which is a fantastic introduction to your profile, your natural gifts. You need to learn what they are. You need to leverage them and use them and then learn how to withhold them. Go to that brianbafinishow.com RSA and get your profile. It's a great place to start. Here's the second thing you want to do to tap into that talent and know you're made for more. Leverage your skills. Now, the skills are the things that you do well that you can practice and get better at. I recorded an episode called how to Be a Time Management wizard where I became a time management wizard. By learning the skill of time management. By the way, I wasn't great with money growing up. I became great with money because it's a skill you can learn. So when it comes to your skills, here's the first thing I'm going to ask you. What does the market value? What skills do you have? Does the market value? You know, our skills are so natural to us. We don't even know they're a skill. We don't even know they're a gift. So when I started asking my customers, wouldn't you refer me? What do you say? They say, well, you do this, and you're a great guy, and you're really honest, and. But I always tell people, you negotiated a great deal for me, and I asked the next person, well, you did a great job. And by the way, your wife babysat our kids while we looked at houses. You did this, you did that. But I. But you negotiated a great deal for us. I went to lunch with 10 of my clients over the period of about four months. And at some point in time in the conversation, one of my clients said, you're a great negotiator. Nowhere in my marketing, nowhere in my value proposition, nowhere in my dialogues that I ever say anything about negotiation. I changed and put that format. And it's like Brian Muffini. He enjoys negotiating on your behalf, because people hate negotiation. So I'd have a smiling face of myself going, he enjoys negotiating on your behalf. People love that. And by the way, for the next five years, my business doubled because who doesn't want a negotiator for him in real estate? I didn't even know that was a skill or a gift because it was so natural to me. I had to ask my customers, so, number one, what is the market value? Turns out the market value negotiation next. What do you enjoy if you enjoy something? If you go, man, I do that for free. You might be. Write down your gifts and you can develop even more skills. I did some speaking here last week. I got to do some speaking. That was not part of my business, not part of my job. In fact, I was raising funds for a couple of charities, and I walked off the stage and said, I'm doing. I'm glad I did that for free. It was the most fun you can imagine. It's a gift I have that I've worked on for 30 years. I've done 2500 seminars, built thousands of presentations. So it's a gift. And you get a gift and you combine it with the skill, man, now you're One of the best of all time. So what does the market value? In my case it was negotiation. As an agent, what do you enjoy? I love the speaking, so I want to do more of that. How can you get better? How can you get better? You know, one of the things I do is I have a list of YouTube videos I watch before I speak. One of them is from a basketball coach, Jim Valvano, the famous Jimmy V. He did a 45 minute talk at the Million Dollar Roundtable. One of the best speaking engagements I've ever seen. So I'll watch that, I'll watch Og Mandino. I watch people that I consider the greats and I lean into them. I also go to work on this stuff. Do you go to work on yours? You know, Ben Franklin was America's first millionaire, first millionaire in America. And here's what he said. An investment in knowledges pays the highest dividend. Ben Franklin, America's first millionaire, invested in himself. Are you invested in your skills? And then lastly, lean into your design. Lean into your design. You know, there's great evidence that the scriptures have been around for 5,000 years. And there's a lot of things talking about spiritual gifts. And spiritual gifts as written in the ancient texts are really broken into two categories. Speaking and serving. Speaking into someone's life, communicating in someone's life, and serving others. So where are your spiritual gifts in the area of speaking, communicating, exhorting, championing other people, or serving? What gifts do you have? Hospitality. Where does your service come in? The next question to ask yourself as you ponder this, and maybe you're out for a walk with the dog today. And it's what did you love doing as a kid? What you love doing as a kid? You know, I know when I was 15 years of age, I was in the markets in Italy and I was on a school trip and I went and I haggled for three days with the same vendor over the suede jacket. It was a suede jacket, man, this thing was righteous. And I went back and forth and this guy's a little Italian and he's bald. And the Americans would walk up and they'd go quanto. And he'd give them the price and they'd pay him the price and he'd walk away. And you could see the look on his face. He was disgusted. He took their money, but he was disgusted. And of course, having a little Italian in my background, I knew. And I walk up to him, day one and I ask him, what's the price of the jacket? And he gives me this price and I go, no, no, no. I said, I'm an Irishman with an Italian grandmother. I said, I'm an immigrant to your country. And this is, I'm 15 years old and you're gonna rob me like this. And next thing you know, we're having this full throat thing. The next day I'm patting him on the head while I'm talking to him and I go, no wonder you're so fat. You're so fat, you make so much money all the time. You, you make too much money and you're feeding yourself too much food cause you're stealing from little 15 year old boys like me. On the third day, I came back and I bought that jacket for 20% of the price he initially offered. And he had a smile on his face like he ate a banana sideways. By the way, he was probably already doubling his money for the rest of the trip. Every teacher on that trip asked me to go and negotiate at the market for him. My wife wants a handbag, I want those shoes. I was 15 years old, I'm in the market and I'm haggling like you can't believe. And then they're buying me little tricks and whatever else. Final story on this, one of the teachers name was Eddie o'.
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Haron.
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Oh, the roughest, cruelest guy you ever met. And in my school, growing up in Ireland, we had corporal punishment. They had these big leather straps about 3 inches wide, 2 inches thick, 6 inches long. And you'd put the hands out and they'd whip you with these things. So one time there's a big fracas in our school, which happened regularly. Bit of a row, okay? Everybody's fighting and carrying on. Eddie Ahern walks in. Now, I had bought his wife a bag and some earrings. He lines up with 32 kids in the class, 31 of them are lined up and he whips every one of them. And I'm just sitting in the class and I'm sitting there a little red face, kind of embarrassed, but kind of delighted that I'm not getting whipped because I was using my skills in Italy the summer before. And I got Eddie a bag and a pair of earrings for his wife. That's when I look back on it. I didn't know it at the time. Oh, that might be a skill, that might be a gift. I had to hear my customers 20 years later go, no, kids are good at this. We're blind to it, what you'd love doing as a kid. And lastly, what would you do for Free. What would you do if they didn't pay you? What would you do if they didn't pay you? Now, sometimes it's not your vocation, sometimes it's your hobby, right? Some people love to play golf and they're bad at it, right? So it's not going to be your vocation. So here's what I know. You are made for more. Buffinian companies coach more people than anybody in the world, than any company ever. We've trained more people in the real estate business. For a million people worldwide, there's nobody ever come within a fraction of that. So we know that we help people fulfill their God given potential. We know that you're made for more. We know you. We want you to help you embrace your gifts and leverage your skills and lean into your design. And to help you on that journey today, if you're new to us or you've never taken this step before, go to the Brian Buffini Show. All one word. Go to the Brian buffinishow.com and then just/rsa. Get yourself a profile, get yourself an assessment, find out what your gifts are, know where your skills need to develop, lean into your design and guess what? When you finish the race, you'll have no unused potential. And if we can have a part in playing in that, well, that's what we're here for anyway. That was today's blueprint. Hope it was helpful.
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Ethan Butte
Hey, welcome to Ask Brian. My name is Ethan Butte, chief ambassador here at Buffini and Company. I get to ask Brian questions about the blueprint and other things that I'm interested in for our collective benefit. Thanks for the opportunity and to kick it off, I'd love to know, you know, you told that story off the top of the blueprint and it was about asking the question for the audience and everyone raises their hand about having untapped potential. My feeling about that and be curious what you know or feel about it yourself is that they're, they're reacting to the feeling of having untapped potential rather than some, you know, clear, thoughtful reflection of like, yeah, I do have some potential. So unrealized potential is what I'm asking about. Like how do we become aware of the, what our potential is? Like how do we actually get constructive about what we can and should be developing?
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Brian Buffini
Great question. I, I think everyone has seen these flashes and glimpses in their life where man like things aligned. A person does, says or acts in a certain way and they go ooh and, and I call it that tuning fork moment. It's like Tuning. You know, you hit that tuning fork, it's like. And something just goes off. I had an experience. I was terrified to speak publicly, and yet I was asked to speak at a family friend's graduation. Just say a few words. And I got up, and of course, I'm Irish, you know, so we're always able to tell a joke and whatever else. And I never forget my girlfriend at the time, Beverly was there. And so this will tell you how long ago this is 40 years ago. And I did a dissertation for this gal who was just graduated from nursing school. And I just had them in the palm of my hands. And every time to this day, no matter how big an audience or how influential or whatever I speak at, Beverly will go. I always remember the first time I saw you speak, and that's when I knew you had a gift. And so I think we've seen these flashes in our lives. We see them in our spouses and people we're close to. We see this potential. Like, ooh, when somebody just falls into their sweet spot, it's like you can feel it. And it's supra natural. It's just like, okay. And that's where the Made for More comes from. We've all experienced it. We've all seen it. And that's why when I ask everybody in an audience how many of you know you have some untapped potential, they've all seen these flashes. And it's actually, I want to. How do you make it more consistent? How do I take it from the occasional to the vocational? How do I take it from a once in a while sighting to an everyday practice? And so that's really what Made for More is all about.
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Ethan Butte
That tuning fork really works for me as like a metaphor. It's like, it's deep. You feel it. I think of it as like a moment of true integrity where, like, everything.
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Brian Buffini
When did you know you could interview
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people and ask questions?
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Ethan Butte
Probably a couple episodes into the first show that I started, the Customer Experience podcast, and I really enjoyed it. It brought me to life a bit. Got, you know, get some unsolicited positive feedback. I had no idea. And here we are now.
- [17:43]
Brian Buffini
I mean, you just tried something.
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Ethan Butte
Yeah.
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Brian Buffini
And then turns out I'm good at this.
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Ethan Butte
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And. But it's, you know, I knew that I was enjoying. Felt good.
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Brian Buffini
So that's the biggest clone. It's something you do and you enjoy when you're doing it. And now people think then it's all enjoyment. Like, if for me, it turns out I Had a gift to be able to present ideas in public. Well, if that's all I did, there would be no Buffining company. There would be no 4 million people. And it's funny because we have, as you know, we have a speaker's bureau here at Buffini Company. I have seven people who can speak on behalf of the company. Casey o', Keefe, who runs our events, will say, to this day, nobody prepares like Brian. I've done 2,500 seminars. And when I say I've done 2,500 seminars, some of them are two day events or three day events where I was speaking eight hours a day. So that's one event. So imagine doing something 2,500 times when you take the gift and then go, hone us. Now you got something. Now you got something. So it starts with that tuning fork. It goes with that feeling. And then, okay, am I willing to beat on my craft until I become the best at.
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Ethan Butte
Reminds me of. I had the chance to interview Tim Grover on a previous show that I produced and hosted. He was the trainer of Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, a number of other, like, exceptional athletes, wrote some books. Relentlessness and winning are a couple of them. And in the blueprint, I thought a lot about that combination of gift and skill, right? So like Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, very gifted athletes. But they also worked on those skills. Like, like they're plusing up on those skills and those things. I think a lot of people, maybe it's not resting on laurels, but it's, you know, they take their gift and say, well, I'm just gifted in this way. And I would just observe the same about you is like, you could have said, I'm a pretty good speaker. But this, this idea that even today, even for the event that we're doing next, you know, leadership conference in Dallas coming up, you're going to be relentlessly preparing for that. You know, why do you think more people don't like really double, triple, quadruple down on that, that blend of skill and gift and really go into it versus just what the default is, which is, I'm good at this.
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Brian Buffini
Yeah.
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I think the path of least resistance is a default position for humankind. And it also leads to a life of frustration and mediocrity. And it can even be a gifted mediocrity. The thing about it is when you don't lean into your gifts, your gifts go to work against you. They start showing up in negative ways. They start accusing you. That untapped talent, it's like food that spoils that's kept in your refrigerator, and it keeps coming back and it becomes odious. And that's why, you know, you'll see the guy, you know, that Bruce Springsteen wrote a famous song, glory Days, and if you ever remember the words of the song. But, you know, there's a guy in high school who could throw that speedball by you. You know, the girl who was the beauty pageant in high school, and they're all in a bar being miserable, talking about glory days.
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Ethan Butte
Yeah.
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Brian Buffini
Because a lot of people never develop beyond that. And they didn't know that that was a gift you had, that no matter if it was in a sport or whatever, it was something that could be developed into multiple places. And so I think you got to go to work on it. And the goal made for more. Knowing I'm made for more, and I have more to give and more to be. That's the drive. That is what drives me. My goal when I get put in that pine box is, man, that dude. That dude got it. Squeezed the dish towel till it was dry. That's it. You know, if I can share a little story with this, there's a parable, a very famous parable that's taught that's called the parable of the Talents, okay? And it's one of the most famous sermons Jesus ever gave. And it talks about money. And he comes one guy, and he gives him one talent. He goes to another guy, he gives him two talents, and he comes to the other guy and he gives him five talents. And it's. The word is talent, which is, you know, it's a money currency, but in English, it's talent, which. I like the story better that way.
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Ethan Butte
Yeah.
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Brian Buffini
And the guy with five, he went and made five more. And the guy with two, he went and made two more.
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And the master rewards them both the
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same, the two talent person and the five talent person, he goes, well done. So he gave different gift levels, which is just like in real life, to different people. And then he came to the third guy, and the third guy said, master, I knew you to be a hard man, and I was afraid. So I buried your talent here in the ground. But, see, I didn't lose it. You at least have what's yours. And the story goes, the master said, take it away from him and give it to the one who has 10.
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The fact of the matter is, the
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reason we bury our talents in the ground is because we're afraid. And so I would just say I'm more afraid of burying my talent in the ground than I Am the cost of having it out and shining.
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Ethan Butte
Yeah, the, I want to double back into the, the odious, you know, potential. Odysseus. It reminds me of, you know, when I, when I went through my real strengths profile, which was a gift,
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Guest or Family Member
you
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Ethan Butte
know, obviously talks about what happens. It's not necessarily an under if you underdevelop this strength. But like, there are, there are things to watch for. Like every strength comes with a, you know, complimentary component with. Why is that the case? Like, like you has a curse, that
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Brian Buffini
every high has a low, that every
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up has a high.
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Ethan Butte
Yeah, yeah, I know that. I know I asked that, I guess in a very broad, philosophical way. Functionally, how can we stay aware of that and, and even use that to, to our collective benefit?
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Brian Buffini
Yeah, well, again, the law of the harvest. Every upside has a downside, every hot market has a low one coming, and every gift has a blind spot. And so that's one of the reasons I believe is I think human beings are designed a, to need each other to be in relationship with one another. And I think none of us is as smart as all of us.
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Here's the thing.
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I think this show is better because you're on the show asking me questions than I'm sitting here giving my opinions to some camera. Like, you get things out of me that I can't get out of myself. Well, that's the same the way it is with our gifts. That's why we need mentors, that's why we need coaches, and that's why we need companions on the journey that are fellow sojourners that are like, hey, have you read this? You know, we have a mutual friend, Steve Pasanelli. Yeah, well, Steve's, you know, came to work at Buffining company. Brilliant guy. And the first week he came here, he gave me a book and I
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devoured the book and he goes, oh, this guy's a book devourer.
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And he gave me another book.
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Well, his first week he gave me three books.
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And when he left, I gave him a book.
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Yeah, well, I got better, he got better. So the goal is he's trying to
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pursue his gifts, I'm trying to pursue my gifts. And so you do stuff like that, you know, when you're in connection with other people, like minded people. Kobe Bryant modeled his business, his career and his life after Michael Jordan. LeBron James modeled his career after Kobe Bryant. So one of the ways to do it, like to tap into those gifts, like you're saying is you see someone who's done it, you see Someone who's gone before you. You know, all I'm trying to be for people is not, I'm not trying to be Mr. Perfect, but like, hey, I've gotten a few things done maybe, and I've learned a few things and I've studied a lot of people. I've really studied. What I read my success come from is I became a student of success and I'm trying to pass this stuff on to people so that they can, they can outgrow me.
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Ethan Butte
Talk about real strengths. I, first of all, I ask you a question, I'm going to interrupt you and to share more about it.
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Brian Buffini
One of your gifts.
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Ethan Butte
Well, it's a habit at a minimum for who can judge how that, how that feels. But, you know, I've done all of the assessments, you know, all the common ones, Myers, Briggs, and you know, all the, all the different ones. I found this one to be incredibly nuanced. I found it to be, to have a lot of depth to it. It covers a lot of different aspects of me, the way I view the world, the way I view myself, you know, inherent strengths and, you know, certainly cautions. What did you see in real strengths early on where you said, like, I need to own that and have that be a part of how I help people?
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Brian Buffini
Well, I had gotten exposed in the 80s to the disc and I thought that was good and I'd done Briggs, Myers, and that was good. And I did the Enneagram and that was good and I enjoyed them all. When I saw this, I, I, the author of it originally there was one of the main people was a guy named Arthur Miller, and he wrote a book called the Truth about you and he was really trying to help. Churches were trying to get people to, to volunteer, but they wanted people to volunteer to use the gifts they had.
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So he kind of, he started with
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this like, hey, I'm going to help out church organizations with getting their congregations to volunteer and to use their gifts to help the church out. That's where it started. And then it evolved. Then it got into the hands of a bunch of PhDs over at Gallup who were like, oh. And they were again, it was historical observation was really their science. And so that's a problem that basically your patterns and your habits. That's why when you do this interview, they ask you all kinds of questions about your past. And it's kind of 40 minutes talking about myself.
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That was kind of cool.
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What are they going to do with that? Yeah, well, they're looking for patterns. And so historical observation was they, they, they take that interview and they pour it down into all these patterns that are established. Because who Ethan Butte was as a little kid is not that different from here, who he is today.
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Ethan Butte
For better and for worse.
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Brian Buffini
For better and for worse. That's why obviously spouses and parents get the profile. They go, well, I could have told you that.
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Ethan Butte
Yeah.
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Brian Buffini
So then the next piece is we go from historical observation, which is where we found it, where this goes into observational analysis. The luxury we have is I acquired this and then put it into 1.5 million coaching calls over 30 years. And it's kind of the secret sauce in our coaching because here's what I know how to do. I know how to speak Ethan's language. I know how to motivate Ethan by the things he's motivated by. I know how to make sure he's not disincentivized by the things he's disincentivized. We at Buffini company have never put greatness into anybody, but we sure have pulled greatness out of a lot of people. And our real strengths assessment is really the secret sauce in that. And that's when we developed the kind of the introductory assessment. We're able to give it away to people for free, which we do on rare occasions. So we did it on this episode. I don't know if I've mentioned it in two years, but I would hope anybody would take advantage of it listening today, because it's the start knowing yourself, knowing your gifts, knowing where you start from. And that's okay. I'm going to leverage those gifts. I'm going to maximize those gifts. I'm going to withhold those gifts. Boy, you talk about stepping into your destiny. So it's been a great gift. It's the secret sauce in coaching.
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Ethan Butte
Yeah. You just reminded me of something that I really enjoyed in the blueprint, the counterintuitive nature of withholding gifts as part of mastering the gift. Yeah, really interesting, folks. Should go to the brianbafinishow.com RSA that's real strengths assessment to get the assessment. I loved mine. And I'm just at the very first few steps of a long journey, getting to understand myself differently and better relative to other people through that assessment. It's really, really powerful tool. Really a gift to have within our community. Appreciate you. Thanks for letting me ask, Brian. Now let's go coach him up.
- [29:33]
Caller or Audience Member
I have a question about young people and where they're to invest their lives and livelihoods as far as their occupations. Probably the biggest point of contention in my household right now is the 23 and the 20 year old living in my basement. And my wife is ready to be an empty nester. But Brian, as you said, the world is changing. So much industry's changing and that means a change in the workforce too. I would just love, I mean, because my kids, they're smart kids, but they're paralyzed. They don't know what they want to do or how they're going to do it and what's safe to invest their, their time in and where they need to be putting their talents. I would love to hear from you guys what your advice would be to the 23 year old and the 20 year old living in my basement.
- [30:28]
Guest or Family Member
So you're, you're talking about career wise, what they, what they should be doing. Well, real estate's a great business, dad.
- [30:37]
Brian Buffini
You know, I, I give you a couple things because I've been through this a lot. First thing I do is get the real strengths profile. Okay, you guys agree with that? Yes, because get a real strengths profile. And by the way, it's, it's unedited by mom or dad. And, and it will, you know, your wife will say, well, I could have told you that. And somebody else is going to tell them that. And so I think it's such a magnificent tool that it just lays out what this, what the gifts are. And then the next thing is, okay, what are the things that are filtered around that tool? You know, one of the things the kids are paralyzed by. You know, you picture this, picture your kids, your kids saw the Great Recession of 2008, okay? So many kids of that age, they saw a parent lose a house and then they saw the runaway, you know, inflation. They oftentimes at a high school that didn't graduate their senior year, endemic. And then they went to college and couldn't go to a dance or connect. Okay. I mean these kids have, you know, we all view, I'll buckle up. You know, I had no shoes and ate cardboard. And they've had a different experience and also they have different sensibilities. And one of the things that one is, I see a lot of younger people are more mission driven. Like they want to do great things, they're more causal. They didn't grow up. You know, for us it was like, get a job, feed the family. Like all of us. I was working in the family business because you contributed. We, here's the thing. My, my old man, I think about it now, it was slave labor because we worked all weekend, we worked our summer vacations, we Got paid a pittance and we had to give 20% of it to our mother.
- [32:27]
Guest or Family Member
Right.
- [32:30]
Brian Buffini
It was a freaking mafia I was working for. So your kids, they didn't grow up, you're a successful guy. They didn't grow up worrying if they're
- [32:39]
going to have food on the table
- [32:40]
and those kinds of things. So first thing, what's their gift? Second, like, what's the causal. The third thing is, and I don't know this about your kids specifically, but I can tell you that the psychological makeup of the from 16 to 25 year old worldwide is influenced by social media, by a false world that is absolutely anybody who sticks their head up, it's whack a mole. You try to do that and you're a, and you're nodding your head. Okay, so you're, you get judged very harshly. And then at the same time, the extremities are, oh, I'm, I'm a 22 year old influencer, I'm a multimillionaire and I actually just, I dry my nail polish for a living in the val. You know, the whatever the San Trope. And so kids are like, what the hell? And going to work at McDonald's is now I'm going to be replaced by a fricking robot. So I don't even get a chance to start somewhere. So I would say this. Start with the profile. Championing what they're good at and getting to do something. Because once you become a doer and not a watcher, the game changes. And then what you want to find is feed the momentum. You want to feed that momentum, find out what they liked. When they find out what they hate, go. That's good. You're just like a buyer. You hate two story houses. Great. We're looking for ranches. And that's the way you are with the kids. And you champion what they're good at, you champion what they like and acknowledge what they hate. That's called experience. And get them in the game. And what happens is this. Once they catch a little bit of wind, once I'm telling you what I've seen with younger people is when they catch hold of what they actually are passionate about, it's get out the fricking way. You won't have to. Don't tell me to move out the basement. I'm gone. Because it's get out the way. And that's what I've seen. But culturally it's different. We used to have friends tease us or write bad messages on the bathroom wall. They have a million People willing to pound on them at any given time and they don't know what they're good at. They're more mission driven. So get them in that game, get them in that game. And they're not like, oh my God, if I don't work, I'm not going to feed me. You're going to feed me and my son. Alex is. Where's Alex? Get Alex out here. I want to tell you a great story. He doesn't want to, so come out here. You the dude now. I'll give you, I'll give you three examples here of how this works. So Alex is 17 years of age. Every kid is talking about driving a car, driving a car, driving a car. And I go, alex, all your buddies are driving a car. Everybody's driving a car. I'm willing to help you buy a car. What do you want to do? He goes, well, think about this, dad. I get everywhere I want to go. I don't have the stress of driving, I don't have to pay for gas or insurance and I have a full time driver standing by at all times.
- [35:40]
Guest or Family Member
He wasn't wrong.
- [35:42]
Brian Buffini
It was a good deal for everybody but me. Now the same thing is when we got his profile done. Alex is very gifted at work on kids. So for a season he went to work at a Christian school. And what was your job title at toe? Triva Elite.
- [36:01]
Ethan Butte
TA for reset.
- [36:02]
Brian Buffini
He was a TA for recess. Mr. Al. The top of his ears are burned from being out in the sun all day long. They were paying him 27 grand a year. No benefits and strength training as well for the older high school kids. And every day he walked outside with like, he ate a banana sideways and I'm off to live the dream. Now part of that was he was set up right so he could do what he was gifted at. He got in that game, he found out he was brilliant at it. Then he gets married and has a baby and he goes, okay, 27 grand ain't going to support my wife and our ambitions. So now I'm going to go do something different. You follow me? So this is a classic example. And he was chilled out, relaxed to say the least. Had a full time chauffeur, but it was, he found his gifts and mom and dad had created the opportunity that he could use his gifts so that the money didn't matter. He found out something he was great at, gained huge confidence, and then when his life changed, his goals changed, he got married. And nothing puts manners on you like having a baby. And it's like, hey, I love doing this work. He went back to the school and said, hey, this is my gift, this is my calling. And they go, this is all we can pay. He said, I love you, but I'm gonna have to leave you. And then he went and pursued something else. And so that's kind of it. That's kind of it. And I, he's a great example of it. But he found out what he loved and now he's kind of, he's on it.
- [37:32]
Guest or Family Member
The other thing I would add to that is that the service industry is really good. Restaurants or whatever, you know, for their age group, it gets them out, it gets them to social skills skills. There's so many transferable skills in the restaurant service industry. And it, it's people their own age and it's fun, it's super fun. And they're also meeting clients that will offer them jobs. For example, my daughter was a waitress after graduating from Boston University, a two hundred thousand dollar school.
- [38:02]
Brian Buffini
Good.
- [38:03]
Guest or Family Member
And she wanted to work at Del Fresco's because she'd been working her butt off for a long, long time. And I was like, you know what, go for it. Well, a bunch of executives from Dell Technology came in one Sunday evening and she waited on them and she did a magnificent job. And they said, you should be in sales. And she's making, you know, close to a million dollars now a year at 37 years old. You know, that was 22, so 30.
- [38:30]
Brian Buffini
Now half the audience going to start working at Del Frisco's right here.
- [38:34]
Guest or Family Member
Well, now she's a Dell technologist in general. You know, we, we have this mindset that they have to go to school, but you know what's not going to AI is not going to take over. Mechanics, electricians, plumbers and all that was sort of like, oh, that was there. And you're an independent business owner. I, any, anybody that you guys know to bring them into, I don't care if they have a window washing business, you can create a business and it's really about helping them from an, from an entrepreneurial standpoint to say this might be what you do, but this is where you can take it that getting their gifts is the perfect.
- [39:12]
Brian Buffini
I start with the gift.
- [39:13]
Guest or Family Member
I start with the real.
- [39:14]
Brian Buffini
Start with the gift. Well, I hope you enjoyed today's episode entitled Made for More. We believe you are made for more
- [39:22]
and we're here to help you.
- [39:24]
We also believe this show is made
- [39:26]
for more and we need your help.
- [39:28]
Step one, please like and subscribe. About 15% of the people who listen every week, like and subscribe. We're trying to get that number up. It really helps us out. And secondly, why don't you share this episode with somebody you know, who's made
- [39:43]
for more, who'd appreciate it?
- [39:45]
Do those two things and we'll be made for More while helping you be made for more. Thanks for joining me today. We'll see you next time on the Brian Muffaney Show.