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- [00:00]
A
Give me a minute and we'll get you from burned out to your next breakthrough. I've experienced burnout more than once in my life. And a few years ago, in the middle of one of these seasons, I picked up a book, Burnout by Herbert Fredenberger. What hit me most was that burnout
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B
doesn't show up all at once.
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A
It actually creeps in. It's a lot like drift, and if you don't recognize the signs, one day you wake up and you realize you're way off course and you don't even remember how you got there. So here are the three signs to watch for. First, a loss of motivation. The things that used to energize you, they feel heavy. Now you're going through the motions. Second, increased cynicism or negativity. You're more critical, more frustrated, more drained by people and situations that didn't used to bother you. And third, reduced performance. Your output drops, Focus fades. You're busy, but not effective. If you catch these early, you can course correct, step back, rest, reconnect with your purpose, and adjust your workload. Because burnout isn't the end. It's just a signal. And if you listen to it, it can lead you straight to your next breakthrough. Top of the morning. I'm Brian Buffini. Let's talk about the moment most people don't see coming, the one where you're still showing up, still getting things done, but something feels off. You're checking the boxes, hitting the goals, doing what you're supposed to do, but the energy isn't there like it used to be. The edge feels dull. The things that once fired you up start to feel like obligations. And the dangerous part? From the outside, it can still look like success. So this conversation isn't about slowing down or lowering your standards. It's about learning how to sustain your pace, how to stay productive without running yourself into the ground. And how to recognize the difference between healthy pressure and the kind that eventually costs you more than it gives. Because the goal isn't just to perform at a high level for a season. It's to build a life where you can keep showing up consistently without burning out all along the way. In today's blueprint, we first need to recognize burnout for what it is. Burnout isn't just being tired. Herbert Fredenberger defined it as the extinction of motivation when what you've been pouring into stops producing the results you hope for. James Pen Baker described it as a bone tired soul, tired heart, tired exhaustion. And I have been there many times in my life, it doesn't happen all at once. It comes in like a drift. One day you kind of realize you're off course and you say, how did I get here? So you have to watch for the signs. A loss of motivation, increased negativity and reduced performance. If you don't recognize it, you won't be able to correct it. In my 40 year career, I've been a pretty driven guy with that immigrant mindset. And I've reached my burnout threshold many times. And I truly believe it's hard to know what your limits are until you exceed them. So let me share with you one of my more recent burnout stories. We've been impacting and improve the lives of livelihoods of people for 30 years. That's our mission as a company and my personal mission. And many people think, man, find what you love and you'll never work a day in your life. Absolutely not true. I work a lot of days. I found my purpose. I know exactly what I'm supposed to do. I'm built for it. My whole skill set, mindset and heart application is fulfilled in the work I've been doing at Buffini company. So why have I burned out? Well, I like to say I've been using God's gifts, but I tend to use them Brian's way. And so a great example of this is I love to do meet and greets. I love to meet the people whose lives have been impacted. That's really what I did it for in the first place. So at every event, whether they're big national conventions or whatever else, I always have a meet and greet. And I was recently at one of our Vegas events where we do these broadcasts to 30, 40,000 people and about 100 VIPs. So we have like a mixer the night before. It's kind of casual, people form line, I take pictures. But it also gives me a chance to talk to people because it's a more intimate audience than we normally see. And I'm asking them, how's their life
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B
and how's their business?
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A
And really kind of the next question, what's really going on? And the other day I was there, it was about 150 VIPs. And my chief of staff, Jeanette was there and my assistant Alicia were there. And they got to hear 150 people say, my life's changed unbelievably, for the better. My quality of life is better. My marriage is better, my kids are better, my health is better. I bought the fourth rental property. I'm this and that.
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B
And the other.
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A
And this went on for hours. And again, very purpose driven, very fulfilling. But at the end of the night,
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B
I turned to both my chief of
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A
staff and assistant and I said, I've helped all these people get a great quality of life themselves by ruining my own. Now, I'm not a victim to that, but I know myself when those telltale signs are there. And so let me say to you, you have these experiences in your life. They're the wake up calls. And you have to get back to,
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B
yep, doing what it is you do
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A
well, doing it the way you're supposed
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B
to do it and then creating this margin and balance.
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A
So the first key to controlling burnout is to acknowledge it and then create space. I actually call this the Darth Vader principle is how we get into trouble. My family's big into Star wars and Episode four, A New Hope. There's a great scene, the famous first Star Wars. Luke Skywalker is going down this kind of tunnel of buildings, and he's got to drop this bomb to blow up the Death Star. And he's being chased. And one of those ships is piloted by Darth Vader himself. And they're all tracking, and they're shooting at Luke and doing this and doing that.
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B
And you remember the scene.
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A
Trust your instinct, Luke. Turn off your computer. And then behind him, Darth Vader comes along, and you see him turning the knob, and he says the famous words, I'll take him myself. And then good old Han Solo shoots him up. He spins out. Luke shoots the bomb. Everything's saved. I'll take him myself is what very successful people do all the time. I'll take it myself is ultimately what many entrepreneurs do. Why? Because it's easier to do it yourself than to teach and train someone else. It's easier to do it yourself than to build a process or system that can duplicate that activity and take off the extra weight. Burnout doesn't get fixed by pushing harder. In fact, that's usually what caused it to deepen. And I've been in that scene many times in my life. When I get tired, I actually go harder as a human being. When I'm burned out, I actually go faster and further. Why? Because I put my cape on and I can overpower this. But ultimately, that does not lead to a good place. So the first real step towards recovery is honesty. And sometimes that honesty is as simple
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B
and difficult as I need help that
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A
can look different for everyone. But for some, it means having a real conversation with a spouse, a friend, a mentor, or a Coach, I've done all of that. And for others, it's finally admitting to yourself that the way you've been operating isn't sustainable anymore. Either way, the shift begins when you stop pretending you're fine and start telling the truth about where you are now. Once you've acknowledged it, the next step is creating space or margin. Because burnout thrives in constant motion. And if your life is packed wall to wall with demands and expectations and commitments, there's no room to recover, no room to think clearly, and no room to recalibrate. Creating space doesn't mean escaping your responsibilities, it means reordering them. It might look like stepping back from non essential commitments, protecting your evenings, or building intentional gaps in your calendar when nothing else is scheduled. Not because you're doing less for the sake of it, but because you're making room to breathe again. That space is where clarity starts to return. It's where your energy starts to restabilize. And it's where you start to hear yourself again, past the noise, past the pressure, and past the pace that got
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B
you here in the first place.
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Because the truth is simple. You can't heal in the same environment and rhythm that caused the burnout in the first place. Recovery requires a different pace, and that begins with creating space on purpose. And lastly, realign your life around what matters most. Burnout often isn't just about doing too much. It's about doing too much of the wrong things for too long. It's what happens when your time and your energy and your focus are spread too thin. The enemy of the best is actually the good. Realignment means you have to get intentional again about what actually deserves your time. Warren Buffett said, and this is a quote I have hanging in my office, is that the difference between successful people and and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything? That starts with the hard but necessary shift. Saying yes on purpose, not out of habit, guilt or pressure. Because every yes is a trade. Every yes is time and energy and attention taken away from someone else. And so when you're burned out, you don't need more activity. You need more clarity. You can use God's gifts, but if you use them in your own way, it's a recipe for burnout. Begin to filter everything through a simple does this align with what matters most right now? If it does, you protect it and give it your best. If it doesn't, you give permission to say no. And without over explaining it or over apologizing for it, that's not being selfish. That's being responsible with your life. Because here's what burnout makes you forget. Your capacity is not unlimited, your energy is not endless, and your focus is one of the most valuable resources you have. When everything has access to you, nothing gets your best. But when you start protecting your time and attention, something powerful happens. You begin to regain control. You stop reacting and choosing. You stop being pulled in every direction and start moving with intention again. Realignment is really about ownership. Taking back your calendar, taking back your mental space, and taking back your priorities from everything that slowly crowded them out. And when you do that, you don't just recover from burnout. You rebuild a life that's much harder to burn out in the first place. So here's what I'm doing at Buffini and Company. I've built a different plan. I'm putting in place different processes and I'm hiring some different leaders, people with a ton of experience. How is it showing up in my life since that day? Well, I have two brand new grandbabies now. I haven't done grocery shopping for my family in years. So once a week I go grocery shopping for my daughter. I go to the store, she sends me a list and I fill up the cart and then I go see her and my new grandson and I unpack the groceries, I wash my hands, I hold and snuggle the baby, I snuggle my daughter and then I take off and then I go grocery shopping for my daughter in law on the other side of town and I get her list and I go grocery shopping and I go and I cook a meal sometimes wash my hands and hold and snuggle the baby. I had to put systems in place to create that space. And instead of feeling burnt out, I'm rejuvenating up and it puts more gas in my tank. I'm feeling now I got some quality of life going now because I'm doing the stuff that means the most to me. I can go to Aspen and ski, I can go to the Masters, to the golf. I can do anything I want in the world. What do I want to do? Smooch with my grandbabies? Go to the grocery store for my daughter and daughter in law because it's hard with the newborn and I've had to put processes and systems in place to do that. And I already feel things changing. I already feel my heart getting filled and getting more excited by the way, to get back to work. Burnout isn't the end of the story. It's a signal. If you recognize it early, acknowledge it honestly and realign intentionally, it can lead you straight into your next breakthrough.
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C
All right, Mr. B, I've got a hot take. I think burnout, when you're trying to reach your goal is inevitable, but it's how you can make it spaced out more and keep changing. The goal of it not being as burnout as the last time.
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B
Yeah, I mean, you know, tell me anyone who's achieved anything great, who did it in a balanced way. Right. I've never seen that. And so the truth is, the reason why most people never actually experience burnout is they're too afraid to try. So burnout is ultimately, and I quote, the great Colonel Sanders from Kentucky Fried Chicken. And he used to say, a man will rust out before he wears out. And I think most people will rust out. And it's the fear of burning out means they never try that hard. You know, better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all. And in this, my daughter and me are very alike.
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A
Right.
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B
We're very driven, very focused. You're trying to achieve something extraordinary at an Olympic level. So did your mom. I'm trying to build a company. Thirty years ago, no one knew what coaching was. And so, you know, I pioneered a business and an industry. It's worth it. The, the challenge is worth it. And so, oh, you're going to become an Olympic gold medalist. And here's the balanced approach to that.
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A
My arse.
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B
And so that's just not where it's at. I mean, guys that make the NFL, they're not balanced in how they make it. The key is how do you grow during it and then how do you not become consumed by it? And then how do you ultimately live a good life? And so I think the key is I said something in the Brian's blueprint, which is you never know how much is too much until you do too much.
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A
And that becomes your boundary and you
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need to learn from that. And so for me, like at the stage I'm at in life, like the last nine months, I became the CEO of our company and I have reorganized the company root and branch and it has been exhausting. I've averaged 100 hour weeks. Now, this is after a 30 year career when most people are, you know, your mom and I have a house in Hawaii. We'd like to play golf, travel, and go see our kids and grandkids. So what am I doing? Well, a, I had to preserve the good name of the organization. B, we got caught up in the rebound of a boom brought on by Covid. Your Fundamentals go out away with failure and success. And so our fundamentals as an organization, people retired, people left the state, all these things happened all at once.
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A
So what have I been doing?
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As of June 1st, we just launched our brand new three year plan.
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A
Well, it takes a lot of work
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to build a three year plan. Number two, I've just rebuilt, hired, recruited and interviewed exhaustively an entire brand new executive leadership team. Number three, I've been putting process in place so that we could exceed our customers expectations in our coaching, in our training of both internal coaches and then externally to our clients. We've upgraded our product offerings and offered things like our ultimate year in real estate, our coaching manual, the two on one broadcast that we do for our coaches. So we've innovated the company, innovated the product line, rebuilt the company, rebuilt the business plan and reorganized the leadership team.
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A
No wonder I'm freaking tired.
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B
However, since June 1st, I'm no more 100 hour weeks in my future. So there are seasons of life that require a lot of us. Where people get just burnt to a crisp is there's no hope, there's no light at the end of the tunnel. I've been working very hard because I needed a plan, I needed not be reactive as a company. We needed to reshore our fundamentals and I needed a whole new leadership dynamic. I needed to bring in talent to fill gaps that the company's had for a long time. And then we've done a complete technological makeover. I mean, you name it, we've done it. And it's set up now for the future. And so now all of that work, the payoff is a bit of space for me, a chance to work on my health, my well being. I'll be a better presenter, I'll be a better speaker, I'll be a better husband, I'll be a better father, grandpa. And I'll be better for the staff and I'm better for the clients. So. Because who wants to hear from a burned out motivational speaker, right? You know, so. But sometimes there's seasons in life that require a ton of work and you've
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got to push through those seasons.
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Now the goal is to not have
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a complete either or.
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It's not like I haven't seen my wife in nine months or I haven't seen my kids in nine months or I haven't taken care of my health at all in nine months. It's just been this season of intensity to get to this place. Now the other little asterisks I give
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A
Here, it's like once I get there,
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it's like, oh, June 1st. And everything just became people, peaches and cream. But what I have is I rebuilt my job description. I rebuilt my calendar and I'm sticking vehemently to it. And that calendar and that job description is not one that leads to burnout. It's I go and do these speaking engagements and I'm invigorated. I go and do these meet and greets with my customers. I'm invigorated. I do this show. This is fun. Okay. But not when it's one of 20 things I'm doing.
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C
Yeah.
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B
So there's seasons of it. And so for me, I feel pretty gratified in regards to the work that's been done to get to this place. But even after 30 years of owning this coaching company, we had to remodel, redo, and there was a season you
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C
had to bust your hump and like, along those lines. So for people out there, layoffs are in the headlines every week. And fear has become the fuel and is setting the pace. People are afraid they'll be replaced or marginalized if they put boundaries up. How do they navigate this?
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B
Well, let me say this. You better know fricking AI. I mean, you've watched me, okay, the least technological guy in the world. Now, I've always had a company that had a lot of technology. But like Buffini and company, right? Now, I'll say this. I've established what my legacy is. And my legacy was always my wife and kids. I really didn't care about anything else. But now I've established a Buffini company's legacy as the full concretization of our work and by referral philosophy throughout all of our offerings. How we teach, how we train, how we hire, and then how we go to the market, our work and bear fraud methodologies. The market is completely off the rails. Oh, you're going to make all your living on social media. You're the social media manager of a feening company. If you had to produce 100% of our revenues, that beautiful head of hair of yours might be gray, right? So we have this great industry that's been told to do the wrong things, follow up on the Internet leads, do all this stuff. We're like, no.
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So we did work and by referral
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philosophy, the work and by referral methodology. Then the next phase of the legacy is featuring our customers, the people who are our members. They're the stars of the show. There's the stars show. And that's why we're going to have more and more of those of our clients featured in this show and other shows and other programs, other things we're doing as well as our events. And then our coaches, the coaches are the co stars. And then the last piece of the legacy is the buffining company as a forward facing, tech enabled company. And you never heard words like that out of my mouth. That was some consultant who came up with that. Here's the thing. AI is real. It is, it is bigger than the invention of the Internet. It is bigger than for times gone by the invention of the telephone. And so people, if people put their head in the sand and there's all these, you know, everybody's a visioneering. Oh, if, if you don't know AI, you'll be replaced by someone who uses AI. Here's the thing, you have to use it. You have to learn how to use it. The beauty is it will allow small companies to operate as big companies. You need to understand that, yes, you will be replaced by AI unless you learn to master it yourself. And you see how you can take your productivity and 3, 5, 10x your productivity with the use of this amazing tool. I'm using it all the time and our company's using it all the time. So if an old goat like me who is always looking for the fundamentals tells you, you better be on the AI revolution, better be on the AI revolution.
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C
Oh my gosh. Okay, so let's shift a little to when burnout and your identity kind of clash. So how do you make sure you don't tie your identity to your output?
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B
Yeah, wow. I, I'll say this, you know, America is still the most productive country in the world. I mean, it's documented the gdp, the numbers, the, it's there. And America also celebrates busyness.
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A
Oh, okay.
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B
I have so much on my plate. I got so many, you know how
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A
much I do and I, I catch
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B
myself doing it all the time. So we actually celebrate overwhelm, we celebrate busyness. And actually burnout's a badge of honor. So it's very important that you know, what you identify with is a big deal. And you know, I mean, come on, you can speak to this better than I can. You spent 20 years as one of the top horse riders in the world growing up through the channel of being, okay, the American young rider champion and the national champion and then making the pre Olympic selection teams and all that kind of stuff. And it was seven days a week. Right.
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A
So you know, I think for you,
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B
like here you are. I mean you speak to it. You're now in a spot where you've retired from competitive horse riding. You get engaged, you get married next month, you're taking over as the social media manager. I threw this at you as one of your three jobs to help you with the burnout, but that's for a short period of time. It's been great to have you helping dad out, but, you know, maybe you can speak to it like, because you're dealing with this now in a very.
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A
In the horse riding world, you're a
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B
much more public figure than I am in the training business. Right. So how are you dealing with it?
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C
I mean, I think the term. When you said you're celebrated for being overwhelmed and overworking. I was never more celebrated than when I was the most. Burnout, working, outworking everyone. And then when I decided to take a step back, I started getting ridiculed for taking care of myself.
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B
A lot of criticism.
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D
Yeah.
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C
And so I think you have to just be sure in who you are and what you're wanting to do, and it doesn't mean you can't reach your goals. But like I said, I think you need to set up systems that your burnout is farther in between and less intense. Every time I think the scribes. Yeah, okay.
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B
Better answer than what I just said.
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C
Okay, let's try and give him, like, just one, like, tactical thing that they can do. What is just one process we can put in place to help us with burnout.
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A
Yeah.
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B
I mean, I shared a few in the blueprint, but I think the big thing is, you know, once you become aware of it, you got to put guardrails in place. And, you know, for me, I have guardrails and guardrail people. So I have my executive assistant. I have your sister, my other assistant. And then putting guardrails in place and making things be no matter what, you know, and so there's just got to be some no matter what. Like, there are things that fuel me. The thing about me is. And your mom's this way, too. We don't need a lot of rest, but we need some. We don't need a ton of time off, but we need some.
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A
And then we kind of spring back
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B
to life and we're all energy again. So.
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A
So it's a matter of knowing what,
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B
you know, matter what's there. And for me, I naturally, as a kid, I was a sprinter. As a sportsman, I was a sprinter. And in work, I'm a sprinter. And where I get burned out is I sprint a marathon. I was like, no, I'm a sprinter. So I'm gonna go hard, I'm gonna take a break, I'm gonna go hard, I'm gonna take a break, I'm gonna go hard, I'm gonna take a break. And that's really my rhythm. And when I've broken that rhythm again, working 100 hours a week, that's breaking that rhythm. So now it's like, now I know where what days I can really attack and what days are like, kind of like, hey, these are non negotiable. Nothing happens here. And then here's the blocks of time.
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A
So I would say the number one
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B
technique is time blocking. And time blocking for those things that actually fail you and refuel you and refocus you.
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C
Yeah.
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B
And so it could be time block in the day, time block in the week, time block in the month.
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C
All right, well, let's go coach him up and then let's go take a break after.
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B
Good stuff. Well, we're on Coach Em up live right here in Maui, and I have one of my all time favorite people,
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A
the great Terry Chapman. Terry, how long you been in coaching?
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D
21 years.
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B
Tell them where you're from.
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D
From the greater Sacramento region.
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B
Beautiful. And you have tell them about your business. How many?
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D
We have 10 agents right now. Started as an independent agent, went into leadership, opened up a brokerage, and growing out a team now.
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B
Nice.
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D
Yeah.
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B
And who's your coach?
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D
Julie Fragola.
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B
That's the third in a row.
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A
Do we only have Julie clients?
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B
This is great. Great. So, all right, you're on Coach Em Up. This is your chance. Okay, what can I help you with?
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D
Well, I've been thinking about this question for a while.
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B
Okay.
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D
I'm expeditious, so maybe it's not happening as rapidly as I'd like to, but how do you know when it's time to shift from growing a brokerage, growing a team to simplifying it to allow for more time to have less stress and to be more present with my family? And how would you do it?
- [26:29]
B
Well, it sounds like you're right there now.
- [26:31]
D
We're getting there.
- [26:32]
B
Yeah. And so you've built a great business. You have a great reputation. You're greatly known as a sales agent yourself. And then you have people who really believe in you. So you're a little further along than a lot of the folks I have. At some point in time, you got to trust it. And so one of the things you got to do is take the strain. Right. So, you know, they have a tug of war and Right now, you have a tug of war, and the first thing to do is you lift the rope, and they lift the rope, and it's like, take the strain, you take the slack and you lean back. And then the tug of war begins. Right now you have the tug of war between. You've been driven, focused, building this great business, which is that speed, you know, and we're not 28 anymore, and there's golf courses like the plantation here. You want to spend time with your husband. And so what I would say is this. From this point going forward, Julie, what you need to do is we need to start carving intentionally bigger blocks of time. Oh, we come here once a year for a week. All right, now you're going to come here twice a year for two weeks.
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D
Okay.
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B
You follow, and you start blocking this out.
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D
Okay.
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B
You've done the work. Your client base trusts you more than you know, and your team is more capable than you know. It's time to trust them. And it's pick up the rope, take the strain. And so here's the thing. On occasion, just like in a turgo war, someone's going to fall down. Someone who's on the team that you thought was great might not be so great. You've been through that before. It's going to happen again. On occasion, you got to come back in, and sometimes you got to work your magic. And that's. I'm in that spot with Buffini Company last year, and I'm 30 years at this. But I would just say this. You know, think about what good hands you're in with Julie.
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D
Oh, I get emotional.
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B
Right.
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D
With.
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B
With all of you guys, but she's amazing, right? And I have. I have an army of these people. And I was telling Mike from New York in one of our coach Em up sessions, like, can you imagine if I could just do it myself. Brian was the only one. I built the referral system. I lived it, I practiced it, and I'm the only one who could coach it. Well, I only would have ever had 70 clients. So you've been leading by example.
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A
You've had.
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B
How many times do you put your folks through the training?
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D
Oh, we just had 100 days. Just three other people went through that.
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B
Yeah, well. And last week we announced that Profining company is partnering with the largest tech CRM company and all of real estate. We saw that announcement, very excited. So what does that mean? Well, Bow Trail is building what's called Buffini Mode. So there is going to be a Buffini working by referral mode. And ask Brian. AI is coming with us. So all of your 10 people while you're out here in Kapalua, they're going on an appointment. Someone wants to list a house for 40,000 or 50,000 more, they're going to go, Brian, I'm going on an appointment.
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C
That's awesome.
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B
And 30 years of all the dialogues, all the training, all the teaching is going to be there, accessible. Here's what you say, here's the questions to ask them, here's the email to send them, here's the follow up piece.
- [29:27]
D
I love it.
- [29:28]
B
So now I got you. The other thing that we have is
- [29:30]
A
where are and there's a reason we're
- [29:32]
B
partnering with these guys. We don't have. These guys have hundreds of millions of dollars to invest in AI and development and whatever else just beyond our scope. So this Buffini Mode where we've been weak in referral maker is when it comes to teams.
- [29:47]
D
Oh great.
- [29:47]
B
And so everybody's had to double track everything. Well now you won't ever have to do that again. And you can be out here taking a Mai Tai after a game of golf and you'll be able to pull up bowl trail Buffini Mode.
- [29:59]
D
Nice.
- [29:59]
B
And see what all your team is doing, what their activities are, if they're on track, are they reaching their goals, what are they doing and how are they doing. And if they're struggling, they can ask Brian before they ask.
- [30:10]
C
Oh, that's awesome.
- [30:11]
B
So it's a good time to be alive.
- [30:13]
A
And you look at it and say,
- [30:14]
B
what are we doing? Well, it's taken us decades to get to this point. We're nine months in negotiations with these guys. They had the best tech but we wanted them to be the right fit for our people and they really want it. And that's. We just launched actually last Monday and game on.
- [30:30]
A
So you've already built it, you need
- [30:33]
B
to trust it, we need to track it. We're going to help you with that. And then the next piece of the puzzles when you're in town, make a trip where you work for.
- [30:40]
D
Got it.
- [30:41]
B
Don't just do it, but teach it. And I'm very excited. Like here's the thing, I have a whole bunch of my clients right where you are. People have been with me. How long are you with in the coaching?
- [30:50]
D
21 years.
- [30:50]
B
21 years. I have a bunch of people. There's 500 of them here and half of them with me. 15 years or more. So everybody's in that same spot. So I built it for right where you're at today, so thank you.
- [31:01]
A
I'm excited.
- [31:01]
B
The question you've asked, a lot of people have that question.
- [31:04]
D
Super excited.