Quick Cut: S2E343 Make the Impossible Possible - an Interview with Ben Nemtin

Summary

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Episode Overview

Theme:
In this inspiring "Quick Cut" episode of It's a Good Life, host Brian Buffini interviews Ben Nemtin—author, MTV star, and co-founder of The Buried Life movement—on the art of making the impossible possible. Nemtin shares personal stories, the genesis of The Buried Life project, and transformative lessons on pursuing buried dreams, overcoming adversity, and motivating others.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Ben’s Upbringing: A Life Less Ordinary

• Early Life in Victoria, B.C.
  • Raised by creative, self-employed parents—a theatrical clown father and a business-coaching mother.
  • Family life was adventurous, musical, and traveled extensively from a young age—“I traveled to Greece because my parents loved Greece. My dad plays music... and they played music for room and board above the bar…” (Ben Nemtin, 01:43)
• Influence of Upbringing:
  • Ben’s childhood normalised taking bold risks and pursuing passions (“What was cool about it was because I saw the way that they lived you kind of just by osmosis...I felt okay to take liberties when I was growing up...” (Ben, 02:51)).

2. Behind the Success: Ben’s Mental Health Struggles

• High Achiever’s Breaking Point
  • During his first year at university, Ben was on a rugby scholarship and the U19 national team, yet “slid into a depression” under the pressure to succeed.
  • “I just practice my field goals every day. But this thought would keep coming back to me, which is, what if I miss an easy field goal at the World Cup?...this anxiety...around my rugby...it all contributed to me sliding into a depression.” (Ben, 04:13)
• Manifestation & Recovery:
  • Suffered anxiety about public outings, decision-making, and became a “shut-in” at home.
  • Turning point came when friends intervened, encouraging work, open conversation, and inspirational company—“...talking about what I was going through for the first time, which was huge because suddenly, I realized I wasn’t alone...” (Ben, 05:44)

3. The Birth of The Buried Life

• Spark of Creativity from Shared Experience
  • Personal struggles inspired Ben to align himself with inspiring friends, notably Johnny (“...the only way I know you is because you took my sister to prom.” (Ben, 06:38))
  • Four friends connected over the feeling that life’s biggest dreams are often left undone—“It’s like they were buried.”
• The Poem That Changed Everything
  • Johnny’s professor assigned the 1852 poem “The Buried Life”.
  • Notable lines resonated deeply:
    • “...but often in the world's most crowded streets, but often in the din of strife, there rises an unspeakable desire after the knowledge of our buried life.” (Ben quoting Matthew Arnold, 07:39)
  • Decided to make this theme their project, naming it after the poem.

4. The Bucket List: Rules and Approach

• Defining "Impossible" Goals

  • The group wrote their dream bucket list using two rules:
    1. Pretend to have $10 million in the bank.
    2. Assume you can do anything.
  • Dreams ranged from “make a TV show, go to space, pay off our parents’ mortgage, tell a judge ‘You can’t handle the truth’—anything we could think of.” (Ben, 09:23)

• Helping Others Along the Way

  • For each of their own accomplished goals, they vowed to help a stranger achieve one of theirs.
  • Opened a website, invited dream submissions, and were soon flooded by hundreds of requests as the project went viral:
    • "Strangers started to hear about our mission and they started to send us emails...We got inundated with hundreds of dreams. First in BC, then in Canada. It was national news, then it was international news." (Ben, 09:46)

5. The Road Trip: From Two Weeks to Ten Years

• Unexpected, Exponential Impact
  • A planned two-week road trip grew into a decade-long journey birthing a global movement.
  • Initial “impossible” list items slowly fell away as each was conquered—proving the value of aiming high and collaborating.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Early Inspiration and Pursuing Passions

• “...what was cool about it was because I saw the way they lived you kind of just by osmosis...I felt okay to take liberties when I was growing up to go after certain passions.”
  —Ben Nemtin, 02:51

On the Weight of Anxiety and Depression

• “...I just practice my field goals every day. But this thought would keep coming back to me, which is, what if I miss an easy field goal at the World Cup?...and these thoughts would especially come at night and they caused me to have trouble sleeping. And so this lack of sleep, this constant pressure that I put on myself to succeed, this anxiety...it all contributed to me sliding into a depression.”
  —Ben Nemtin, 04:14

• “Talking about what I was going through for the first time...suddenly, I realized I wasn’t alone and that some of my friends had been through something like this before.”
  —Ben Nemtin, 05:44

The Epiphany from “The Buried Life” Poem

• “...this poet in 1852...articulating the exact same feeling that we’re feeling, that we have all these things that we want to do, but we haven’t done them because they’re buried...”
  —Ben Nemtin, 08:05

On Authentic Dream-Chasing

• “There's two rules. First rule, you have $10 million in your bank. Second rule, you can do anything. So you have to pretend that those two were truths."
  —Ben Nemtin, 09:18

On the Ripple Effects of Action

• “We come back after the two week road trip and we thought, holy crap, we got to keep doing this. And so that two week road trip ended up lasting over ten years.”
  —Ben Nemtin, 10:41

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:43 – Ben’s upbringing in a musical, free-spirited, entrepreneurial family
• 03:56 – The onset of mental health challenges during his university years
• 05:44 – The turning point: friends’ intervention and the path to recovery
• 06:38 – Reaching out to Johnny and the genesis of The Buried Life collaboration
• 07:39 – Discovery and impact of the 1852 poem “The Buried Life”
• 09:18 – How the bucket list was constructed and rules for dreaming big
• 09:46 – Movement’s viral growth, with strangers seeking connection and help
• 10:41 – The road trip that became a decade-long mission

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Episode Essence

This episode distills the journey from hidden personal struggle to worldwide inspiration. By unearthing and pursuing what’s “buried” inside, Ben Nemtin demonstrates—through humor, vulnerability, and practical steps—how everyone can make the impossible possible, for themselves and each other.

Transcript

[Brian Buffini]

Welcome to it's a good Life with Brian Buffini, founder of America's largest business coaching company. Here's a short classic cut from one of our all time favorite episodes.

[Interviewer/Host]

Today we have a guest who authored the number one New York Times best selling book what do you want to do before you die? And Mr. Ben Nemton. He was a star of the MTV show the Buried Life and as the co founder of the buried life movement he created the world's greatest bucket list with his three best friends and they borrowed a Ricky, the old RV and crisscrossed across North America and they achieved almost the unimaginable. And each time they accomplished a dream, they helped a complete stranger cross something off their bucket list. From playing basketball with the President Obama to having a beer with Prince Harry, being in movies, all kinds of great stuff. Reuniting a father and son after 17 years. And one of my favorites was surprising a girl with a much needed bionic arm. Ben's bucket list quest has helped millions of people awaken and be aware of what they can do. And what perhaps they thought was impossible is not that impossible at all. We are big fans of the bucket list but we're amateurs on the subject. We thought we'd bring in a pro. I think a lot of people are ready not only to travel and to pursue, but to do something fun and exciting and so stretch themselves. So Ben, we are delighted to have you. Thanks for taking time to be on the show today.

[Ben Nemton]

Thanks Brian. I'm so excited to be here. So cheers.

[Interviewer/Host]

Yeah, you bet. Well, before we dive into your amazing bucket list adventure, which is a cool story, tell the folks a little bit about where you're from and what it was like growing up in the Nemton family.

[Ben Nemton]

I grew up in Victoria B.C. in Canada and one younger sister, two parents that were. My dad is actually a theatrical clown and my. So he was, he's a very, very funny guy. And my mom, she did a whole bunch of things. She did coaching for women in business, she worked on nonprofits, you know and they were both self employed and we traveled a lot. When I was two years old I traveled to Greece because my parents loved Greece. My dad plays music so my mom, my dad would play music in the bars. They just sit me on this on the, on the bar as they played music and they played music for room and board above the bar, at the bar and then I would drive in between them on the Vespa to the next bar. And that's how that was my first travel experience. I Wear a yellow hockey helmet on the Vespa. And so that was my upbringing was a lot of travel, a lot of music. My dad had a lot of friends that would come over and play music at parties that they would throw.

[Interviewer/Host]

Your. Your upbringing sounds like a bucket list for many people, by the way.

[Ben Nemton]

Yeah, yeah, it definitely was. Yeah. And I think what was. What was cool about it was because I saw the way that they lived you kind of just by osmosis. I felt okay to take liberties when I was growing up to go after certain passions. And ultimately I dropped out of school to pursue this bucket list thing because it was gaining momentum.

[Interviewer/Host]

It seems like you got a combo of both. You got the entertainment side from your dad and you got the coaching side from your mom. So, yeah, you know, you got to travel and aspirational and fun living and then created teachable moments out of it. But it wasn't all sweetness and lights here. You know, everybody's listening to this. Oh, I going on the Vespa, and you got the freewheeling parents, and mom takes off for seven years to travel the world. I was intrigued about your story. Your first year university, you're. You're on scholarship, you're in a top school, you make the U19 Canadian rugby team. You know, so everything looks great. Everything looks like you're following the path. You're on the uni trail, you got the scholarship, you're playing rugby, you're playing for your country. But then all of a sudden, life took a few twists for you.

[Ben Nemton]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it was definitely the first mental health crisis I've ever had in my life. And I was, you know, as you said, everything on paper was fantastic, but I was. I put a lot of pressure on myself to succeed. And I don't really know why my parents didn't put pressure on me, but I just. I think it's because I wanted to be liked by other people. So I would. I wanted to succeed in school. I wanted to succeed athletically. I mean, in Canada, rugby is a big sport. Not as big as in Ireland, but it's probably the third biggest sport behind hockey and hockey. So it's big. And I played fly half, as he says, you know, a lot of pressure. You're calling the plays, you're kicking the field goals. And I had missed a big field goal in high school in a championship game. And at that age, you know, that was everything. It haunted me. And as we were training for the World cup, which is in Paris, I just practice my field goals every day. But this thought would keep coming back to me, which is, what if I miss an easy field goal at the World Cup? What if I blow this opportunity? And these thoughts would especially come at night and they caused me to have trouble sleeping. And so this lack of sleep, this constant pressure that I put on myself to succeed, this anxiety that I was feeling around my rugby in the World cup, it all contributed to me sliding into a depression. And I'd never experienced anything like this before. I had been very happy go lucky my whole life. I had an amazing group of friends, supportive family, and all of a sudden I couldn't go to school. So I drive to school. I had a scholarship, but I couldn't get out of the car. And so I drive home and ultimately I dropped out of school.

[Interviewer/Host]

Were you having panic attacks? Was it just a.

[Ben Nemton]

It was sick.

[Interviewer/Host]

I mean, how did it manifest itself?

[Ben Nemton]

So I felt anxiety around getting out in public. I felt like it was very difficult for me to make a decision. And it compounded because after I'd missed one or two classes, you know, it made it worse to go back. I really became a shut in in my parents house. And I was sort of crippled by these feelings of anxiety and depression which was compounded by the lack of sleep. And it wasn't until my friends came at the end of the semester that I had dropped out of and they convinced me to come work with them in a new town that I slowly started to come out of these feelings. And there are many, many things that contributed, which is important, I think to understand that there's no silver bullet for this, but some things that helped right away I got a job. So I started feeling some confidence, some self worth. I started talking about what I was going through for the first time, which was huge because suddenly I realized that I wasn't alone and that some of my friends had been through something like this before. And I met young people that were inspiring. So I met kids that had already started their own businesses, they'd already traveled around the world. And so as I was driving home after that summer away, I thought, I'm going to try and only surround myself with people that inspire me. Just like those kids that I met in a new town. And there was really only one kid in my life at the time that I felt was inspiring. And his name was Johnny and he was a filmmaker from my neighborhood. And secretly I had always wanted to make a movie or a TV show with my friends. And so I called up Johnny, I said, you make movies, I want to make a movie. I know we don't know each other. In fact, the only way I know you is because you took my sister to prom. So this is a little bit weird. So I was very conflicted about whether I should reach out to him, but he said, you know, I was just talking to my friend Dave about something like this, and I said, okay, I'll call your older brother Duncan, and how about the four of us get together and let's talk about making a movie. And so we started chatting, and we had no idea what this movie was going to be about. But we all had this. This feeling that there were all of these things that we'd always wanted to do, but we'd never even tried them. You know, it's like they were buried. And so we. It actually happened to be. Johnny was sitting in his Freshman year at McGill University in English class, and his English professor assigned him 150-year-old poem to read. And the poem's called the Buried Life. And something strikes him from that poem. He sends four lines of that poem back to us, and he says, guys, read this poem. And the four lines are, but often in the world's most crowded streets, but often in the din of strife, there rises an unspeakable desire after the knowledge of our buried life. And he said, guys, this is crazy that this poet in 1852, over 150 years ago, he articulating the exact same feeling that we're feeling, that we have all these things that we want to do, but we haven't done them because they're buried, you know, but once you unearth them, you know that those are the things that light you up, but everything kind of pulls you away from that in the day to day. And so we thought, well, I guess we're not the first people to feel like this. Why don't we take this name, The Buried Life. And even though we didn't know what the film was going to be about, we thought, we're going to call it the Buried Life. And our next step was thinking, okay, how do we unbury our dreams? And that's where this question, what do you want to do before you die? Came from. Because the thought of death actually made us think about life, you know, by actually digesting our mortality, it put things in perspective. And so when we asked ourselves this question, there were many answers. And that's where the bucket list came from. It was our answers to the question, what do you want to do before you die? And when we wrote the bucket list together and we said, you got to. There's two rules. First rule, you have $10 million in your bank. Second rule, you can do anything. So you have to pretend that those two were truths.

[Interviewer/Host]

Yep.

[Ben Nemton]

And you wrote down, you know, make a TV show, go to space, pay off our parents mortgage, tell a judge you want the truth, you can't handle the truth. You know, like anything that we could think of. And, and then we thought, well, there's no way we can accomplish these on our own. We're going to need the help of other people. So how about every time we cross something off our bucket list, we'll have a stranger we meet cross something off their bucket list and we'll go on a road trip. We'll check things off our bucket list and we'll ask strangers along the way, what do you want to do before you die? And if we can help them with that thing, then we will. And that'll be our film. And so when we hit the road, something sort of unexpected happened, which was strangers started to hear about our mission and they started to send us emails through this website that we built. And they said, hey, I saw number nine on your list, rideable. My uncle has a bull ranch. He can get you on a bull. Or I saw number 42 make a toast at a stranger's wedding. My best friend's getting married. I'm the best man. I can get you in. And then people would send us their dreams, asking for our help. So we got inundated with hundreds of dreams. First in bc, then in Canada. It was national news, then it was international news. And so we got these hundreds and hundreds of dreams. So we come back after the two week road trip and we thought, holy crap, we got to keep doing this. And so that two week road trip ended up lasting over 10 years.

[Interviewer/Host]

Wow.

[Ben Nemton]

And those list items that we had initially wrote on the list that I was completely sure were impossible over time, they ended up falling off the list.

[Interviewer/Host]

And that's crazy.

[Brian Buffini]

Well, we hope you enjoyed this. Quick cut. Head to the show notes to listen to the full episode. If you'd like to elevate your business to achieve your goals, talk to one of our experts on a free business consultation. Visit it'sagoodlife.combc to schedule yours today.