Podcast Summary

It's a Good Life – Quick Cut: S2E357

Episode Title: How to Get Unstuck – a Conversation with Adam Alter
Air Date: December 18, 2025
Host: Brian Buffini
Guest: Adam Alter, NYU Professor & Bestselling Author of "Anatomy of a Breakthrough"

Overview

This episode of It's a Good Life centers on the universal human experience of getting "stuck," particularly in personal growth and business development. Host Brian Buffini interviews Adam Alter—academic, author, and expert on human behavior—about the key themes from his book "Anatomy of a Breakthrough." The discussion provides practical, research-based strategies for overcoming periods of stagnation, and reframes being stuck as not just normal, but an integral part of the journey toward growth and achievement.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

Defining "Stuckness"

• What does it mean to be stuck?

  • Adam defines being stuck as more than momentary frustration, focusing on "protracted stuckness"—periods that last days, weeks, months, or even years ([01:14]).

  • He distinguishes stuckness susceptible to change and improvement, making it a relatable, nearly universal experience.

    "Most of my work focuses on protracted stuckness...that are susceptible to our interventions, where there's something we can do to shift things to maybe move forward."
    — Adam Alter ([01:14])

The Inevitability of Getting Stuck

• Why do people get stuck?

  • It's common for people to feel uniquely afflicted when they're stuck, due to a lack of open discussion and the unrealistic success narratives seen on social media ([02:48]).

  • Adam identifies two immutable reasons:

    1. Effective techniques lose efficacy over time—"what worked before stops working."
    2. Environmental and situational changes force us to reevaluate and adapt.

    "Things seem like they're less successful over time, but also the situations change, the environments change...what was working before is no longer as effective."
    — Adam Alter ([02:48])

Stuckness as a Feature, Not a Glitch

• Reframing the experience:

  • Brian discusses personal experiences with plateaus and relates them to the entrepreneurial journey, noting that "plateau" periods are often longer than peaks ([04:09]).

  • Adam asserts that stuckness should be viewed as a necessary "feature" of progress, not a defect:

    "It's a feature rather than a glitch. It feels like a glitch...But actually there is no success story...that doesn't involve multiple repeated periods of stuckness."
    — Adam Alter ([05:53])

The Role of Loneliness and Social Pressure

• The hidden struggle:
  • Stuckness can create feelings of isolation, especially among men, due to societal pressure to have all the answers ([06:57]).
  • Brian notes that the illusion of seamless success on social media contributes to this loneliness and reluctance to admit struggles.

The "Goal Gradient" and The Difficulty of Middles

• Understanding motivation and progress:

  • Adam introduces the "goal gradient hypothesis," explaining that motivation is high at the start and end of goals, but predictably sags in the middle ([07:47]).

  • The middle of long-term goals ("stuck in the middle") feels devoid of progress and is demotivating. This is where most people get stuck or disengage.

    "At the beginning, when you start the goal, it feels pretty good...As you get to the end of the goal, you can see it, it's in sight...But there is a middle...where... you don't have the sense that you're making forward progress and that's demotivating."
    — Adam Alter ([07:47])

Practical Strategies: Breaking Stagnation

• How to get unstuck:

  • Adam recommends "narrow bracketing": break big goals into small, manageable sub-goals, eliminating the discouraging "middle" ([09:38]).

    "You turn this very big goal into so many small goals that are so brief that there is no middle. Each sub goal is so brief that there's a beginning and an end, but the middle is so short that you don't get stuck in the middle anymore."
    — Adam Alter ([09:38])

• Apply rewards and visible progress markers to sustain motivation.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Brian Buffini on Plateaus and Relationships:

  "The plateau is a lot longer than the peak. And...being stuck is on occasion a symptom of being successful. Like you're actually on the right track. It just doesn't feel like it." ([04:09])

• Adam Alter on the Feature of Stuckness:

  "It is not a glitch. It's a feature rather than a glitch...There is no success story that doesn't involve multiple repeated periods of stuckness." ([05:53])

• On Overcoming the Middle:

  "Each sub goal is so brief that there's a beginning and an end...so you don't get stuck in the middle anymore. And that tends to work quite well." ([09:38])

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:14] — Adam defines "stuckness" and what his book addresses.
• [02:48] — Adam explains why stuckness is inevitable.
• [04:09] — Brian on plateaus and reframing stuckness.
• [05:53] — Adam: "It's a feature, not a glitch."
• [06:57] — Discussion on loneliness, social expectations, and the hidden nature of being stuck.
• [07:47] — Adam introduces the "goal gradient" and the challenge of middles.
• [09:38] — Adam's advice: narrow bracketing and small wins.

Conclusion

This episode offers a compassionate, research-informed look at the reality underlying every rarely-linear success story—periods of stuckness are natural, expected, and even necessary for growth. By sharing personal anecdotes and actionable strategies, Brian and Adam provide listeners motivation and tools to navigate their own plateaus and challenges. If you're struggling through the "middle," this episode reminds you: you're not alone, and there are concrete steps you can take to break through.