Podcast Summary: "How to Build Better Habits" with Charles Duhigg

Podcast: It's a Good Life
Host: Brian Buffini
Episode: S2E364
Date: January 13, 2026

Episode Overview

In this episode of It's a Good Life, host Brian Buffini welcomes back bestselling author and habit expert Charles Duhigg (author of The Power of Habit and Supercommunicators). Together, they explore the science behind building effective habits, how to leverage the “fresh start effect” of a new year, and why emotional connection is more crucial than ever in an age of increasing AI influence. The conversation blends research-based strategies with practical advice for entrepreneurs and anyone looking to make meaningful, lasting changes in their personal and professional lives.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Power of Fresh Starts & New Year's Resolutions

(02:06 – 05:13)

• Charles discusses how the “fresh start effect”—studied by Wharton professor Katy Milkman—creates increased motivation during beginnings (such as the start of a year, a birthday, or a new job).

  "There's something about beginnings that give us additional motivation, that give us additional commitment, that give us oftentimes additional time and dedication." — Charles Duhigg (02:28)

• New Year's resolutions can be effective if framed properly.
  • Most resolutions fail because they’re too outcome-focused (e.g., "I want to lose 20 pounds") rather than process-oriented.
  • The most successful resolutions are about small, actionable plans ("I'm going to have a protein shake for breakfast" vs. "lose weight").

2. Small Wins, Not Perfection

(05:13 – 07:24)

• Brian shares a story about failing a work health challenge due to a perfection-or-nothing system, illustrating how all-or-nothing mindsets set us up for failure.
• Charles supports the idea that slip-ups should not derail our progress:

  "What matters is whether you have a bite of breaded chicken every time you eat. The habit matters, not the one instance." — Charles Duhigg (06:49)

• The "all or nothing" approach is counterproductive—habits should focus on consistent, sustainable actions.

3. Charles Duhigg’s Most Impactful Habits

(07:46 – 08:48)

• Charles highlights his own key habit: ensuring every conversation includes a real, meaningful question to connect on a personal level.

  "Every time I meet someone...I always try and ask at least one real question that invites that person to share something meaningful with me." — Charles Duhigg (07:58)

• He underscores the neurological reward we receive from authentic human connection.

4. The Rise of AI and the Value of Human Connection

(08:48 – 16:05)

• As AI grows rapidly and can outperform humans in technical tasks, Brian describes how his business strategy is doubling down on "high touch"—delivering personalized care and relational service.

  "We're going to have high tech, but we're going completely high touch...I think people are going to get sick of seeing eight hours of scrolling...and look for something real." — Brian Buffini (09:49)

• Duhigg explains the "supercommunicator" skill—having meaningful conversations versus transactional ones.
• Conversation has three components: practical, emotional, and social. To truly connect, we must match the conversation mode the other person is in and address emotional content even in practical discussions.

  "Most of our conversations fall into one of these three buckets...when you, as a talented coach or friend, can say, 'Hey, I know exactly what you’re feeling,' suddenly we're on the same wavelength." — Charles Duhigg (12:08)

5. Habits: The Science & The Habit Loop

(16:27 – 21:41)

• Every habit comprises three elements:
  1. Cue: the trigger for a behavior
  2. Routine: the behavior itself
  3. Reward: the benefit you get, consciously or not

  "Every habit in our life has a reward, whether we're aware of it or not." — Charles Duhigg (17:01)

• About 40–45% of daily behaviors are habitual.
• To change or build new habits, identify and intentionally design the cue, routine, and reward (the "habit loop").
• Brian and Charles discuss a real-world example: someone who lost 155 pounds by changing what he did when stressed (switching from eating to journaling and walking).
• A German study found that simply attaching a cue and a reward (even a small one like chocolate!) significantly increased exercise adherence.

  "If we come up with cues, routines, and rewards and we commit to them, what happens is it becomes perfect over time." — Charles Duhigg (21:33)

6. Live Coaching: Overcoming Impatience and Embracing Patience & Perseverance

(21:54 – 27:29)

• Brian asks for personalized advice: his “word of the year” is “patience and perseverance,” yet he struggles when momentum slows.
• With gentle coaching, Charles helps Brian:
  1. Identify the cue (frustration/tension when progress stalls).
  2. Recognize the routine (redirecting energy into working harder but at the expense of self-care).
  3. Find a better reward (writing and revisiting his plan, sticking to established self-care routines).

  "When you are all wound up tight...you actually reward yourself...You start working harder...The cue is that you’re feeling tension, and the reward is you speed up your behavior...Can we find a new behavior?" — Charles Duhigg (25:06)

• Brian acknowledges that a journaling routine would let him maintain routines and decompress, rather than always pushing harder.

7. The Trap of "Spatial Disorientation" and the Power of Process

(29:02 – 32:23)

• Brian offers a coaching insight: Many professionals get “spatial disorientation” (like a pilot in fog)—losing sight of the basics and what matters.

  "The tyranny of the mundane is what gets people." — Brian Buffini (29:22)

• He shares a client story who, by mistake, set an activity routine for a much higher sales goal and achieved it, illustrating that when you put in the right habits, outcomes often exceed expectations.

  "She didn’t realize she was doing the habits of somebody else’s goal...She was totally capable of it." — Brian Buffini (31:50)

8. Charles Duhigg’s Closing Advice for 2026

(33:01 – 34:19)

• The greatest mistake is self-limitation—thinking too small.

  "When I think about the mistakes I've made...they have always been mistakes of self limitation...You can not only change any habit you want, you can create any habit you want." — Charles Duhigg (33:01)

• Focus on process over outcome—plan your actions, not just the goals.

  "...if you have the right system, you don’t have to worry about the results. They just are the natural byproduct and anyone can do it." — Charles Duhigg (34:13)

Notable Quotes

• Charles Duhigg (02:28):
  "There's something about beginnings that give us additional motivation, that give us additional commitment, that give us oftentimes additional time and dedication."
• Charles Duhigg (06:49):
  "The habit matters, not the one instance."
• Charles Duhigg (07:58):
  "I always try and ask at least one real question that invites that person to share something meaningful with me."
• Brian Buffini (09:49):
  "We're going to have high tech, but we're going completely high touch."
• Charles Duhigg (17:01):
  "Every habit in our life has a reward, whether we're aware of it or not."
• Brian Buffini (31:50):
  "She didn’t realize she was doing the habits of somebody else’s goal...She was totally capable of it."
• Charles Duhigg (33:01):
  "When I think about the mistakes I've made...they have always been mistakes of self limitation."

Important Timestamps

• 02:06 — Fresh start effect and structure of successful resolutions
• 05:13 — Why perfectionism kills habits
• 07:46 — Charles’s own transformative habits
• 08:48 — Human connection vs. AI and the case for “high touch”
• 12:08 — Three levels of conversation: practical, emotional, social
• 16:27 — Anatomy of a habit (cue, routine, reward)
• 19:13 — Example: Using habit loops to lose weight
• 21:41 — German study: Chocolate rewards to build exercise habits
• 21:54 — Live coaching: applying habit loops to patience and perseverance
• 29:22 — Common entrepreneur trap: spatial disorientation
• 31:50 — Client story: Surpassing self-imposed limitations through process
• 33:01 — Final advice: Outgrow self-limitation with good systems

Episode Tone and Style

The conversation is humorous, supportive, optimistic, and research-informed. Brian brings personal anecdotes and warmth, while Charles is practical and animated, making complex behavioral science easy to grasp and apply.

Recommended Next Steps for Listeners

• Focus on building or changing habits by defining clear cues and rewarding routines.
• Shift mindset from outcome-only goals to daily, repeatable processes.
• Invest just as much in real conversations and emotional connection as in technical/AI skills, especially as automation grows.
• Don’t let minor setbacks derail progress—consistency matters more than perfection.

Books referenced and recommended:

• The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
• Supercommunicators by Charles Duhigg

For access to Brian Buffini’s “Buffini Coaching Life” event and resources, visit: itsagoodlife.com/BCL