S2E374 Ask Mr. B: How We Built a Marriage and Business Under Pressure

Summary

It's a Good Life Podcast – Episode Summary

Podcast: It's a Good Life
Host: Brian Buffini
Episode: S2E374 – "Ask Mr. B: How We Built a Marriage and Business Under Pressure"
Date: February 17, 2026

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Episode Overview

This special "Ask Mr. B" episode, hosted by Brian Buffini’s daughter Anna Buffini (with Beverly Buffini joining), centers on the challenges and triumphs of building both a marriage and a business under high pressure. The Buffinis openly share how family values, teamwork, faith, consistency, and the ability to handle external and internal pressures have defined their family and business legacy. Listeners gain deep insights into the real-life struggles that shaped their entrepreneurial journey and marriage, as well as practical advice for anyone striving for growth, resilience, and purpose-driven success.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Diamonds from Pressure: Building Under Strain ([02:16])

• Both Brian and Beverly recount their personal upbringings and the influence of their parents’ example on how they handle adversity and pressure.
  • Beverly describes her father’s silence in adversity and how “not to complain” became a foundational principle:
    • "Whenever we do go through pressures... I remembered that [my dad] taught me not to complain about anything, but to stay positive. So I think that's a huge part of what helped me work through all the pressures of my life." (Beverly, 02:49)
  • Brian shares that while their success is often seen as effortless, it required overcoming personal, professional, and family challenges as a unified team.

2. Teamwork in Marriage and Business ([04:04])

• The Buffinis’ marriage is described as a true partnership, where family is “Team Number One”.
  • Brian explains the origin of “team” (“tema” in Greek, meaning family) and how he and Beverly played to each other’s strengths during high-pressure periods:
    • "My bride and I are a team…The word ‘tema’ is a Greek word … used to describe family. So your first team is a family…All teams play different positions...Great leadership requires that." (Brian, 05:10)
  • Sacrifices included Brian being on the road 23 days a month, while Beverly homeschooled six children, handled life’s emergencies, and provided stability at home.
  • Beverly shares the power of purpose in overcoming hardships:
    • "When there is purpose, you can find your way through any problem, any pressure situation." (Beverly, 07:57)

3. The "Work by Referral" Philosophy ([12:37])

• Brian recounts pioneering the “work by referral” business model in real estate, drawing from personal principles and innovative client care.
  • Despite mockery and pushback from peers, Brian stuck to his values and made his mark by building relationships, giving personal touches, and even offering daycare for clients’ children.
  • The Buffinis were always “in it together,” with Beverly supporting and actively participating in the business where possible.

4. ‘I Can, I Will, I Believe’: Olympic Mindset and Advice ([18:15])

• Beverly shares how the perseverance and belief that powered her Olympic aspirations can help others “raise their game.”
  • Her mantra: “I can, I will, I believe,” stressing the importance of belief, purpose, hard work, and especially consistency in achieving goals:
    • "The biggest word I could give you is consistency…Once you believe, then you've got to put your feet in the work and do the work. There’s nothing short of that." (Beverly, 18:46)

5. Overcoming Social Pressures and "White Noise" ([19:43])

• The Buffinis openly discuss challenges as an interracial couple, homeschooling decision-makers, and “non-conformists” in family and business.
  • Brian reflects on the history and resistance to their marriage and choices, referencing both bias and well-meaning but uninformed advice:
    • "We had people in our church going, have you thought about what the children might look like? Other people, families, this and that and the other..." (Brian, 21:20)
  • Beverly encourages listeners to filter out negative “white noise” and pursue their own clear purpose despite what others say:
    • "There's a lot of white noise in all our lives...But you've got to learn to discern the bad noise from the good. That is truly one thing that helped me achieve the goal." (Beverly, 22:08)

6. Mentorship from Legends: Jim Rohn, Zig Ziglar ([27:58])

• Brian shares the life-changing wisdom from business and life mentors, especially Jim Rohn.
  • The greatest lesson:
    • “Work on yourself harder than you work on your job. You go from making a living to making a fortune, become a millionaire for what it’ll make of you…Work on your philosophy.” (Brian, 28:23)

7. Servant Leadership & Purpose ([30:10])

• At the center of their leadership philosophy is the idea that higher responsibility means more service to others.
  • Beverly: "The reason we work on ourselves is because we want to bless other people…so we can help others." (Beverly, 30:24)
  • Brian: “The higher you’re promoted, the more feet you have to wash.” (Brian paraphrased by Beverly, 30:24)

8. Raising Children and Passing Down Values ([32:17])

• Leading by example is the backbone of the Buffinis’ parenting approach.
  • Brian:
    • "You want your kids to be a reader, let them see you reading a book; you want your kids to be achievers, let them see you achieve…kids don’t listen to much of what you say, they’re too busy watching what you do." (Brian, 33:05)
  • Beverly highlights the role of being intentional and consistent with teaching principles, often using the Bible as their foundation.
    • "For the foundation of a building to be strong, it's got to have a strong foundation. And that's the goal of what we try to train them in, rear them in when they were even babies, reading books with principles..." (Beverly, 34:39)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On partnership:

  • “We're a team, and we've been a team. There is no Buffini and Company without Beverly. There is no impact and improve the lives of people without this team.” (Brian, 08:06)

• On enduring criticism:

  • "The real thing is they directed their anger towards me because they were envious of the outcomes and weren't willing to do the things." (Brian, 16:30)

• On Blocked Paths and Persevering (Olympic trials):

  • "When I went to those tryouts, I knew I went there to do my best. That's all I could do. Prayed a lot, worked hard a lot…If I didn't believe, there's no way I would be there… I had to believe internally that I belonged." (Beverly, 25:58)

• On family values:

  • "If we aren't teaching them, someone else is teaching them. So we had objectives on the principles that we wanted to teach our children. And of course, we have a guidebook for our life, which is the Bible." (Beverly, 34:39)

• On servant leadership:

  • “The reason we work on ourselves is because we want to bless other people… it’s so we can help others.” (Beverly, 30:24)

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Timeline of Key Segments

| Timestamp | Topic/Segment | |-----------|------------------------------------------------| | 02:16 | Diamonds from pressure: backgrounds, upbringing | | 04:04 | Building a team in marriage & business | | 12:37 | Pioneering “work by referral” | | 18:15 | Beverly’s Olympic mindset and advice | | 19:43 | Handling social & cultural opposition | | 27:58 | Wisdom from Jim Rohn & Zig Ziglar | | 30:10 | Servant leadership philosophy | | 32:17 | Parenting: Modeling values & consistency |

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Conclusion

This episode is a masterclass in resilience, faith, teamwork, and purpose-driven entrepreneurship. Brian and Beverly Buffini’s candid stories—of marriage, business, Olympic dreams, and parenting—offer actionable advice and heartfelt inspiration. Their legacy is built on service, authenticity, family teamwork, and relentlessly modeling the values they wish to see in others. For entrepreneurs, leaders, and families, this episode is packed with wisdom for building something that lasts under pressure.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome to It's a Good Life, where it's all about helping entrepreneurs think, feel, and do better. Today we have a special treat for you. Brian, live on stage from a recent event. Let's listen in.

[B]

Top of the morning to you. And yes, he did pay me to say that. I'm Anna Buffini. And today you guys are in for such a treat. We are bringing you a special sneak peek of Ask Mr. B, a new segment in the show where I'll be asking Brian and sometimes Beverly questions that uncover wisdom, core values, and stories that shape success. As awesome as that is, it's not even the most exciting part. You ready? I am so excited to announce that in honor of the podcast's 10th anniversary this March 17, St. Patrick's Day, of course. Come on, come on. We're celebrating this major milestone by transforming the podcast into a web show. Now, don't worry if you're listening to this, don't crash your car. If you like hearing this on audio, it will still be uploaded on podcasts, wherever you get them. We've got a new format we're coming at you with that's especially designed for viewership, and we're going back to our roots with the original name of the Brian Buffini Show. I'm so excited. There's so much more I could get into, but I really want to maximize our time. I mean, this is as much of a treat for me as it is for all of you. So let's get into it. Before we start, the best way to support us is to follow hebrianpafini show on Instagram and especially subscribing to the Brian Bussini show on YouTube. It's specifically designed as a web show, and I just know you are going to eat this up. All right, let's do this. Do it.

[C]

Good job.

[B]

Okay, here we go. Welcome to ask Mr. V. And sometimes Beverly.

[C]

Sometimes.

[B]

Okay, so people see the stage, the billion dollars in sales, the results, the highlight reel, but we don't always get to see the struggle behind it. And that's how you produce success. In my eyes, you're both diamonds. But Dad's given us this book most of us have probably read called Acres of Diamonds, and it shows how diamonds are created from pressure. And I would love to hear how you both have worked through the pressure that you've had to work through in order to be the diamonds that you are today and create a business. That's the diamond. It is.

[C]

Well, I would have to say it starts with my dad and my parents. It starts Back then, I was raised in a home. My dad was in the Air Force. And my dad was a man who never complained. And I think that is one of the best principles that he taught me in life was not to complain. So whenever we do go through pressures, whenever we have family issues, when our house is burned down, raising six children, Brian, with all of his traveling, there's so many avenues that pressure came through in our lives. Playing volleyball, trying out for the USA volleyball team, I remembered that. And that was not to complain about anything, but to stay positive. So I think that's a huge part of what helped me work through all the pressures of my life.

[B]

And you handle it so graciously from firsthand perspective. I get to see you guys every day. I think the grace and the peace in which you go through trials is something that really has helped shape me as a person. And when I face trials, to handle it hopefully a little bit graciously like you have, you are, you are.

[A]

So, you know, opposites attract. We go through our dynamics. Obviously, I'm a big product of my mom and dad and you know, I got a lot of stuff from my mom and dad and you know, the, you can do it Briny. You know, you know, I got that from day one and she was our biggest cheerleader. And so I think the biggest thing I would say is this. We've had a life and you know, there's people who know us, like people like Sam and Edith Elsey sitting in the front row who are friends of ours, know, been in our home 150 times, are always marveling at, you know, it gets pretty frisky around the Buffinis. And it gets frisky because when you go into the life changing business, there's a lot of forces that won't, don't want to see lives being changed. And it just gets frisky and there's a lot of opposition and there's a lot of challenges and then you have your own growth in life and then being an entrepreneur. And I built a business that had never been built before. So you're a pioneer. And then I work with realtors and they're the kind of most even keel, easy, non dramatic, most consistent people. A few more complaints. Let me see what else I can do. So, and you go through it and then you have life happen and we've had tragedies and deaths and houses burned down and all the stuff that goes along with life. I think the biggest thing for us is that my bride and I are a team. And you Know that about me and Mom. We're a team. And the word tema is a Greek word where the word team comes from. But tema in the Greek language is used to describe family. So your first team is a family and all family. All teams play different positions. You have different strengths and weaknesses and different personalities. And great leadership requires that. And there's times I've been better at that than others. We've complimented each other. I think the bottom line is, you know, if you think about it, to build this business. In the early days, I was on the road 23 days a month. Mom is homeschooling six kids. That's not exactly a recipe for success. And my goal every day was get off the road. I'd be work 20, I'd be on 20 days a month. And, you know, when I. When I get off the road, the number one thing I got was complaints. Because the half day. How many of you ever saw a half day? They were awesome, they were funny, and they're entertaining, and I came to your town. But every time I cut back on a half day, I got a lot of complaints because I was working towards a goal, which is I want to provide value and help people and change their lives, but I want to get home to my bride and six kids to be husband, father, and not one of the train wrecks of speakers that happen in the marketplace. And so I worked at it and worked at it and worked at it for decades. That's why I bought a plane. It wasn't a smart thing to do as an economic thing, but it meant, like, when our twins were born. Nobody knows this. I was doing half days in San Francisco. So I'm all over Northern California for two weeks. Bev has twins, and all the kids catch chicken pox. Grandma and Grandpa come in to help out, and we're doing oatmeal baths and this and any other. Dad flies out at 5 in the morning, does a half day in San Francisco, and then comes back in the afternoon to do oatmeal baths. And Babies finish at 11 o' clock at night. That's how we've done everything, is divide and conquer. And so you got the babies, I got the oatmeal. I'll see the realtors. I'll see you in a couple of weeks.

[C]

And I would have to say that the team effort came in because he was on the road for how many years was it? A lot of years. And the teamness of our relationship came because I knew he was out there working for us to do his best. And I knew that the sacrifices needed to happen and whatever I could do to support him is what I did. And I did that without complaining, I can honestly say, because I knew there was a higher purpose for what we were trying to achieve.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

So again, it goes back to what we were talking about today, that when there is purpose, you can see you can find your way through any problem, any pressure situation.

[A]

She saw me speak at the Wigwam resort in Phoenix in Scottsdale, Arizona, in 1995. And she said, that's your gift. Those people really needed your help. You need to do this. And I used to guest speak at different conferences. I'd give away as part of my give back from my career. And, you know, if you've been blessed, we all have responsibility to give something back. And so I. That was what I did. And when I would leave, she wouldn't sleep. And so I would do it like once a month or whatever else. But when she saw the need of the people, the gift I had, she said, you need to do this. Now, normally it's not a good thing when your wife tells you to hit the road, but. And so I was doing 170 seminars a year. Then I got it to 150, then I got to 140, then I got it 120, then for a number of years it was 60 a year. And then it got it all the way down to eight. And when I got to eight, she said to me one day, I'm at the house just loving on her being good guy. Don't you have anywhere to go and speak? So too much of a good thing. Apparently so. But we're a team. We've been a team. There is no. There is no Buffinian company without Beverly. There is no impact and improve the lives of people without this team. My family was too much of a higher priority. I wasn't interested in saving all your families and losing my own. And I also don't believe I have any credibility to talk to anybody about their business or life if I'm not trying to apply the principles myself. And so we're a team. And we're a team, and we've been a team. And the kids know we're a team and the kids are this. The kids know they're not on our team.

[C]

Kind of sort of, yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean? Like, they know. They know, hey, this is first, and then we're the B team, and then y' all are the team. And we've given them everything we have. But this is team Number one, you're on team number two. And then number two is make it the greatest team ever. And so that's kind of how we do it.

[B]

Speaking of diamonds, I just got engaged.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And I always said I wanted someone just like my dad. That's always what I've said. He's my hero. There's no better man on planet Earth. And I think I flew a little too close to the sun because I'm about to marry a real estate agent.

[A]

It's the first two legged boy she ever liked. All of her previous boys were £1,600 and had four legs.

[B]

I got caught. I got caught.

[A]

He's a great young man, by the way. We've known him since the sixth grade and we're great friends with his family and I mentored him in the process. And he is, he is all that in the bag of chips. And he good salesman because he's, he's, he's getting the diamond.

[B]

Oh, by the way, he's never too busy for any of your referrals.

[C]

Nice.

[B]

He did this to me.

[A]

I did it at my wedding. To pay for my wedding, he has to get. True story. You've seen the video? I asked. So we were, I was 23 when we got married. I did two things. I invented this thing called the Italian Shoe Dance. So I'm an Irish family and we paid for our own wedding. Our families met three days before we got married. But I'm like, I'm, I'm paying for my own wedding, doing the whole thing. I'm a brand new baby realtor. And so I invented this thing called the Italian Shoe Dance, playing off the Buffini name. And so what we did is I got cowboy boots and we lined up all the guests. And if you wanted to dance with the bride, you put money in the boot to contribute towards the honeymoon. And then if you wanted to dance with the groom, you put money in the boot to contribute towards the honeymoon. And this guy walked up to me at the end, he goes, awesome. Because, you know, I'm, I'm a preacher and I've done a hundred Italian weddings. I've never seen this. I go, you know, and then when we were cutting the cake, I said, hey, love you all. How many of you are happy we're married, starting a family. Just so you know, I'm a real estate agent. I work by referral when I'm cutting the cake. And I'm never too busy for your referral. It's on video. I'm never too busy for your referrals I take great care of them. And if you really love her, the more referrals the better. So I can take care of her. Never stop selling since. Okay, so when I'm asking people to do a little freaking blitz in here and there's. I'm not asking them to do a pitch at their wedding.

[B]

Okay, so speaking about working by referral, let's take it back a little bit. I have heard I was in there for it. When you started in real estate, working by referral was not the norm. Got a lot of flack, you got a lot of pushback. Why did. What made you end up going with your gut to work by referral?

[A]

So first was the principals, father, grandfather, can you put your name to that? Told the story. Many times work in such a way, you put your name to that. Had to dispel some of the thought, which is my dad's like, the work's got to speak for itself. And I went, okay, I want to work in such a way. I put my name to it, but I have to speak for the work. So rather than be word of mouth, I learned like, we bought a Lexus and they had this great follow on client program every month. That's where the client appreciation program items of value came from. So I learned from a Lexus dealership I had, we had an insurance guy that would once a quarter pop by with a little gift. And he called it drop by. I'm just dropping in. I mean, that's pretty good. So. And then George Bush. I saw an interview about personal notes. I was just learning all the time and put it together and I just did my own thing. And so what happened was like, just so you know, when you, when you pioneer something, I would take a lot. Like, I remember one time there was a guy named Louise Vincent in my office, and Louise religiously sold two to three homes a year. And I'm doing about 80, my first year in business at 46. Then I did 87, my second year in real estate. And I'm in this office with Louise and it's the week of Mother's Day. And, you know, I had an Isuzu Subaru, okay, the green Subaru, big tires, you know, you were cool. You are. Didn't know. And so I'd go down to the farmers market in San Diego and load up the. The car, I mean, floorboard to roof with flowers. And I'm just going, and I'm go out and I'm pop on by and I'm doing this, I'm doing that. And I'm delivering them at the office and homes and whatever else and the whole thing. And I remember about five days into this, Louise is there, and she goes, brian, hello. This must be some kind of immigrant thing. But, you know, in America, we have companies that can deliver the flowers for you. And I went, I. I just really enjoy seeing the people's faces. And she's like, such a waste of time. So I get all that. I remember when I became. I became the. In my second year, my first year in real estate, I was the rookie of the year for ERA real estate nationwide. In my second year, I was number five in all of San Diego County. That's when I got into trouble because I had no advertising. I wasn't in the newspaper. I wasn't doing all. And all these guys at the time had the power stuff and pictures and the person promotion standing from the Rolls Royces. And I would. I'm literally remember getting, like, set upon by people in my office by, what the hell are you doing? And they would, are you buying business? Are you doing, you know, all this kind of stuff? So one by one, I started taking people to lunch. And that's where I learned the biggest lesson of all. I was doing more production in the whole office. And I would sit down. I had such a desire to share. So once a week, one of my appointments was. What was the restaurant? Mission Valley. Oh, my gosh.

[C]

Hungry Hunters.

[A]

No, no. That's where we married the. The rust. The Rusty Pelican. I've told too many stories too long. So the Rusty Pelican. I do a client lunch there every day. But one day a week, I do a realtor lunch. And I would share my stuff with someone who was expressed interest, and I would show him what I was doing, how I was doing it, where I was doing it, all that kind of good stuff. And some of them, like our Jamie Hopkins, who became my first client when I developed coaching. And other people took it on board, but other people not only didn't take it on board, they became to resent me. And I'm like, hey, you asked what I'm doing. I'm giving up my time to share with. And I'd share everything with them. Like we had. We had people from a rival coaching company in another space today, sitting in this auditorium today, learning all of what we do with the studio. I've always shared what I do and how I do it, because I'm just focused on my own business. I have no competition, never had, but I got to see people, you know, Doing, you know, getting frustrated. And the real thing is they directed their anger towards me because they were envious of the outcomes and weren't willing to do the things. And so you learn very early on that success is a bit. You got to pioneer, you got to do your thing. And then here's the deal again, team. How many kids, families did you babysit while I, you know, because I always thought if I could get them, if a mom had a couple of young kids, I'm going to give her a break in her day. I'm going to go show her some houses unfettered. And so Beverly would babysit the kids while I did. Well, I showed houses eventually. When I built Buffini Real Estate, I had an assistant who was a full time certified daycare provider. And we had a room in our building that was a daycare creche, as we call them in Ireland. And we had one set of books and play things for little kids and. And then older kids, there were se. We actually gave out a little coupon that once a quarter, someone could drop off their kids for half a day. And I'm telling you, I was a very popular man with the ladies. So we were always in it together.

[C]

Helped.

[A]

She did Popeyes with me. You know, we're just always in it together. And then as the kids grew and more kids came and, you know, the business grew, we're just always in it together, and we have always been the team, and that was it. And it was our business. When I first wrote goals, I came home and shared them with her, which seemed like a great idea to hand an Olympian. And so, yes, we've always been a team, always been together, and it's worked pretty well.

[C]

It has, it has.

[B]

All right, so speaking of Olympics, let's take it back a little further. Mom?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Some might not know that you were on the US National Volleyball team, which was the biggest impact for me, chasing the Olympics for the past 30 years. And, yeah, hearing all your stories, watching how relentless you were chasing, that was so inspiring. And the Olympics are on the top of everyone's mind right now. What advice would you give to anyone who wants to raise their own game in their lives right now?

[C]

Whoa, that's a heavy question, but I think many of you know the phrase I can, I will, I believe that I talk about so often. I would say, just like they said today, that it comes with belief. You've got to believe in what you're doing. You've got to believe in the purpose that you're why you're here. And why you're doing what you are doing. It takes a lot of hard work, a lot of consistency. And I would say practically, that's the biggest word I could give you is consistency. Because if I, or any Olympian or national team player or whatever, high level elite realtor, anything, anyone, it takes consistency to achieve the goal. So once you believe, then you've got to put your feet in the work and do the work. There's. There's nothing short of that. And I'm sure all of you would agree with that. There's nothing short of that in trying to achieve your goals.

[A]

I would throw in here a couple things, which is you, you gotta know what you wanna do, and then you gotta be willing to just go pursue it, irrespective of people's opinions. Obviously, other than my faith, you know, my bride agreeing to marry me and be my wife, this is the greatest thing that ever happened to me in my life. When we set out to do this, now give you context, Guess who's coming to dinner right at the. We started courting in the late 80s. It was 15 years before that. It was still illegal in 19 states for an interracial relationship. It's hard to believe that living today. She was on a recruiting trip to Alabama and they're showing her around town and they're having a KKK parade. They put her. They had her lay down in the back and threw a blanket over her. You know what I mean? Welcome to town. And she still joined the freaking team. I'm like, what are you doing?

[C]

I had a purpose.

[A]

She had a purpose.

[C]

I believed in what I was doing.

[A]

Yeah, there it is. And irrespective of that stuff, they had their purpose, you had yours. And so, like, when we decided to get married, like, just so you know, not everybody was gung ho. We had people in our church coming up like, so at the time, just to land the plan here, all interracial marriages in America were 2% of the population. And of interracial marriages, 2% of those were the guy was white and the woman was black. It's kind of acceptable for a black dude to date a white girl, but a sister to marry a little snowflake from Dublin, you know, like I say, crazy. And we had people in our church going, have you thought about what the children might look like? Oh, I don't know. That might be kind of a terrible thing. But that was. Right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, well, meaning people, have you thought about what the children might look like? Other people, families, this and that and the other. I Had people say, I had. I had a listing appointment. I was on a listing appointment, and the guy loved me. And I did a presentation, put my house on the market, got it sold, helped him buy another house. This guy loved me, referred me. Then he come to visit me at the office one day, and he saw her portrait behind me. Guy was horrified. Like, he just said straight out, you gotta be me. And you know, okay, now, we didn't get much of that. We didn't really care. When we homeschool our kids, family members, like, are you lost your minds? What are you doing? They're going to be uneducated, you know, they're not going to be able to play sports. One of those wasn't true. And so the point is, we've always followed our path.

[C]

You know, there's a lot of white noise in all of our lives. Yeah, there really is. And you've got to know what you want. You've got to know what you want in order to not allow that white noise to. To interfere with your dreams and your beliefs. Yeah. There were a lot of people who said, do not go there. Do not marry this guy. There were a lot of people who says, you know what? You'll never make the college team. There were a lot of people who said, forget the Olympic team. There were a lot of people who said many things. That's a lot of noise to me, because there was clear, very, very clear purpose in knowing what I wanted to achieve. So I know in this room, there are a lot of people who clearly know what they want but are afraid to go for it because of the noise, because of your own noise, because of the past, because of those people that hang with you or that you hang with. But you've got to learn to discern the bad noise from the good. And that is truly one thing that helped me to achieve the goal.

[A]

And I got to experience this firsthand. The thing in today's world, in today's world, the whole world has an opinion on what you do. And the level of conformity in today's world today is shocking. You know, we had cancel culture. Cancer culture works in many different ways. What it really thinks is it what it typically cancels, is anybody's individual pursuit of the vision they have for their own life. And the only way you don't get in trouble is you don't try to do anything different. You don't try to be anything different, and you don't try to ever say anything different. And I'm not talking about being different for the sake of being different. One of the things that's different is being happy, being successful, having a great marriage, having great kids, it's kind of different. Having customers you love who love you back, it's kind of different. Having a purpose higher than profit in a business, it's kind of different. And so you got to dare to be who God God's made you to be. And we've just done like, here it is. Boom, we're in. We were in until our house burned down. We were in. We went with a group of people to Israel when we were first courting, and we found this piece of olive wood, and I'm from a street called Olive Mount, and the olive wood was black and white and two pairs of hands praying together and just wild, you know? And so I sent her out of the store because that guy was trying to sell it to me. Too much? Nah, she's with me. I got a white chick at home, so I got him down. But, you know, that's the bottom line. Don't teach negotiation if you don't practice negotiation. But at the end of the day, like I say, I'm married to an Olympian. You're five, eight. There had only ever been one black girl on the Olympic team. She was 6, 6 foot 11. So you don't fit the profile. You know, you're not. You don't look the part. We don't recognize that. And coaches. Coaches go, oh, you remind me of someone. And that's who they bring into their team. She didn't remind. She's 5 8, outside hitter, you know, 5 inches too short and all that kind of stuff. And she just persevered. Her mind was made up. And you guys know some of her story where she was an all American. You know, in the hall of Fame in Tennessee, there's only 12 girls in the country. Are all Americans. There's 64 girls invited to the Olympic trials. She wasn't one of the girls invited. So how are you in the top 12? And her coach told me she was in the top five. How are you in the top 12 in the country? They invite 64 girls and they don't invite her. She didn't fit the profile. I'm not just saying because she's black girl, but she's 5 8. She dissing that and the other whatever else. And so she wrote letters.

[C]

I did.

[A]

And every coach she had wrote letters. And basically they said, what?

[C]

Stop writing. Just come. Yeah, to the tryouts. And there were 64 girls there, all blonde hair, blue eyes, and very tall, almost but you know what? When I went to those tryouts, I knew I went there to do my best. That's all I could do. Prayed a lot, worked hard a lot. I was doing it for one and only audience in my life and my heart. And I did my best. And it was on that last day, a five day tryout. There were 18 girls left from the 64. On the first day, about 20 girls were dismissed basically because they couldn't do the physical attributes that were required for the team. So on that last day, 18 of us were out there. Coaches were all around the court, surrounding the court. And I was so nervous, but I said, I'm just going to do my best. And I worked hard, I did my best to. They ended. And how many of you have seen the movie Miracle? It was exactly like that. Sitting in the studio, on the bench, in the bleachers, they started calling out the name. We decided on nine of you. I thought it would at least be 12 of us because you need six versus six to compete. But we've decided on nine of you. They started calling out the names just like in Miracle. I get chill bumps every time I see that. They started calling names. I was the last name called and I sunk in my chair and it was, it was very surreal because this came about from a lot of hard work, but truly, truly, truly blessings from the Lord, but also a whole lot of belief. If I didn't believe, there's no way I would be there. I could not look around me, I could not look behind me, I could not look at the coaches because I would have thought, okay, she doesn't belong. I had to believe internally that I belonged and that I could do the job. So that was a huge day in achieving a huge goal.

[B]

That's amazing. Okay, so we've gotten here about the haters, the bad voices. Let's talk about a few good ones. You dad have been mentored by some of the all time greats. Zig Ziglar, Jim Rohn. What's one piece of advice that they gave you that you didn't realize was so significant at the time, but by the time you needed it, realized it was life changing?

[A]

Yeah, I mean I've had dozens of influences. Right. And I'd have today. Right. I think Roan stands above them all because he helped shape my thinking. Zig was motivated me and motivated my kids and you know, gonna speak at his hundredth birthday party. It's the honor of a lifetime. But Ron was even a step above that for me and the whole concept Work on yourself harder than you work on your job. You go from making a living to making a fortune, become a millionaire for what it'll make of you, but ultimately, you know, work on your philosophy. I, you know, every year I start. I deluge myself in Jim Rohn videos on YouTube. And that's how I start every year. And I still do. And I think of him often. I think of my last conversation with him and when he went from being the mentor to the friend, and then he was like, you've blown past me, Brian. And. Which was the hardest thing ever to hear. I didn't want to hear that, to be honest with you, because it leads a void that never gets filled. But just knowing that you go to work on yourself, that's where you're, you know, do not be conformed, be transformed to renew your mind. That was his life verse, and he helped renew people's minds. And like today, we went off site a week ago and spent a week together and praying and thinking and walking and hiking and doing whatever and looking at our life and looking at our goals and looking at where we are and. And setting a new target, you know, setting a new target. And it's good stuff because we're in it together. So I think that. Go work hard on yourself. You're your primary job, your primary opportunity. The value of who you are is. Increases when you go to invest in yourself.

[B]

Amazing. All right. You often say as a leader, the higher you're promoted, the more feet you have to wash. What does that mean to both of you? And where does that posture come from?

[C]

Well, I was. When you ended just now, I was going to say the reason we work on ourselves is because we want to bless other people. The reason this business has started is because we want it to bless other people and help them in whatever way we could based on our experiences. So, you know, I would say a lot of why we do what we do is to serve others because it really isn't about us. And I know my kids would say, I think we've given all of our lives to lift you guys up and provide opportunity for you. So the reason we work towards bettering ourselves is so it's not about us. It's so we can help others. Yeah.

[A]

Good stuff right there.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I think just how, again, firsthand, I can say how genuine it is. Our dinner table talks are not about what we did that day. Our dinner table talks are how we can impact more people. And that's truly the heart of it. And that's why I'M so grateful I've gotten to start social media and join the team.

[A]

And have you guys liked the social media with Buffco lately? Yes.

[B]

Got it going on because the heart.

[A]

Rides me like Zorro, but can I have a freaking day off? No, you got to do a TikTok or whatever.

[B]

You made a mini you.

[C]

What do you think?

[A]

With Beverly's intensity? It's not good. You know what? The company is freaking terrified. I heard someone in the office the other day. We were in a meeting, and we walked out of the meeting and two people walking down the hall and go, there's two of them. Not good.

[B]

But, yeah, it's just. I want the world to see what I get to see all the time. Your heart. And it's honest. I think it's incredible. And that ambition that both of you have that you've been able to transfer to all of your kids, how did you guys go about doing that?

[A]

I typically defer the kids questions to you, but I'll start. You finished?

[C]

How's that? All right.

[A]

That's kind of how we raise children. And so. We're not sharing all of this with the world, are we?

[C]

No, we aren't supposed to.

[A]

So, you know, you want your kids to be a reader, Let them see you reading a book. You want your kids to be good communicators, let them see you communicate. You want your kids to be achievers, let them see you achieve. You know, Mastermind. Mastermind was never intended to be a family event. And I never have once said it from stage, ever. I was bringing Jim Rohn and Zig Ziglar and all these greats of the world to Mastermind. I sat my kids in the front row, like, this is who. This is the stuff. I want you guys to be exposed to it. And, you know, we're gonna write goals. There's a picture of me. One of my favorite pictures in the world is Anna's at five years old. And we're sitting in a. In a chair together at Zig Ziglar's breakout session for kids. And I'm helping her fill out a workbook. One of my all time favorite pictures. So what people did. My clients are pretty doggone smart. They went, he's bringing his kids, I'm gonna bring mine. And the next thing you know, we got 5,000 people in the room, and a third of them are our clients and everyone else is their families. How many of you brought a family member to Mastermind? Never once was there a pitch. This is a lesson for my company. There was never an email campaign that bludgeoned people to death. There was never marketing, There was never a website. There was never a word ever said about that. It was a demonstration of our own values. And with those demonstration of values, ballrooms filled up with thousands and thousands of people. They go, buffini. Kids look like they're doing well. I'd like my kids to get exposed this stuff too. And people did. So I think the bottom line is kids don't listen to much of what you say. They're too busy watching what you do. And so if you do, and then you get a chance to share, and then as your kids get older, they get a chance, they ask questions, you get a chance to align that. And we haven't done it all perfectly, you know, we haven't done it all, far from it. But we've done the best we can. And, you know, but it's produced some pretty good fruit. And then mama's put the glue together on all the rest of the stuff.

[C]

Yeah, I would just have to build on that saying, just be a great example. I think that's what we try to do. Live with integrity in how we raise them. We met often, tried to on a weekly basis to go over our goals and be very intentional about what we wanted to teach our children because there's a world out there that they can learn. And if we aren't teaching them, someone else is teaching them. So we had objectives on the principles that we wanted to teach them. And of course, we have a guidebook for our life, which is the Bible. So we used a lot of those principles to help guide us and direct us. And so why can't we fight over this toy? Right? Because we want to share. We want to be kind to one another. We want to think of that person more important than yourself. And that was a huge one that we taught them when they argued. Gentle answer terms away wrath, but a harsh answer stirs up anger. So they could take that from day one to day 90 in their lives. But those are the principles that we tried to instill. And, you know, in constructions, there's blueprints, you know, and for the foundation of a building to be strong, it's got to have a strong foundation. And that's the goal of what we try to train them in, rear them in when they were even babies reading books with principals. I don't know what they retain when they're 1 year old or 2 year old. But I do know now with my grandkids that songs that I sang to them when they were a baby. They can sing with me now. Jesus loves me this side. And they complete those words. But those are the principles that we try to instill from James.

[A]

She had about 20 songs. But I'd say for me, the gratitude thing was huge and still is huge. I mean, I never relentlessly express ingratitude.

[C]

But all that began with a video called Mr. Quigley's Village.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Which is the song that says, please and thank you.

[A]

Please and thank you. Please and thank you. You're polite.

[C]

So.

[A]

You are so welcome. You are so welcome. You are so welcome. Ms. Polit. Polite. Yes, sir. Yes, man. Mr. Miss, Mrs. These are polite. There it is.

[C]

But again, those things from two days ago began 20 years ago. And just trying to be an example ourselves and then instilling that. But it's very intentional and it's not haphazardly. It wasn't, okay, this year we're going to be this way, or next year we're going to be that way. It's like every single, single day. Consistency is what it takes.

[A]

Sam.