Transcript
Brian Buffini (0:00)
Give me a minute and I'll help you take control of your worst critic. I have a worst critic. You have a worst critic. And I have a name for it. I call him myself. You know it, I know it. Nobody's harder on us than we are. And today I'm going to show you how to take control of that hard version of ourselves. My biggest critic. I shave in the mirror every morning. Now, self reflection is good, but self deconstruction is bad. The ancient scriptures say to hold every thought captive, sometimes I actually tell my mind out loud, shut up. Then ultimately turn your thoughts towards the positive. Whatever is noble, whatever is good. That's how you take your biggest critic and turn it into your greatest cheerleader. Here's what we have to understand. Not everyone in the world is cheering for us. We can't be joining the critics. Become your own cheerleader and turn the critic off. Top of the morning to you. I'm Brian Buffini. I don't know one person that hasn't wrestled with their own inner narrative. Some do it better than others. Where it's easier to self identify the triggers of uncertainty, mistake, comparison, that all produces fatigue. But it's what you do once the trigger occurs. That's what makes the world of a difference. If thoughts had a volume knob. Today I'm going to help you turn down the negative so the positive becomes the loudest soundtrack in your mind. My daughter Anna, her whole career in dressage was all about achieving perfection. Real judges criticizing every little detail. So don't miss our conversation in Ask Mr. B. It'll be a game changer. We'll when it comes to gaining control of your thoughts. But first, let's break down the key principles. Calming your worst critic in today's blueprint. Now today's blueprint is on how to control your inner critic. First thing I want to talk about is that your input determines your output. We all know the saying garbage in, garbage out. But we never say the opposite of that, which is if good stuff goes in, maybe good stuff comes out. How come that's not a phrase? Garbage in, garbage out, everybody knows it. Did you know that up to 80% of our actions come from our non conscious mind? You know, you can't actually reinforce in your life a negative. Hey, golfers know this. Don't hit the ball in the water. Don't hit the ball in the water. Don't hit the ball in the water. The ball's going in the water. Don't drop that cup. You're going to drop that cup by the way your unconscious non conscious mind can't tell the difference between authentic communication and sarcasm. This is a fine country. This is a fine country. Your mind cannot differentiate those two things. So when we talk down about ourselves, when we say those terrible things, and by the way we say things to ourselves we would not allow anyone else to say to us, we say things in our own mind. We call ourselves names, Fat, lazy, stupid. We wouldn't let anybody in our life say those things to us. But we say those things to ourselves all the time. When I've been at my best as a human being, it's when that part of my life is at its most disciplined. When I'm at my best as a human being, it's when I'm pumping that positive, intentionally, that positive message and reinforcing it in my life. When I'm at my worst, and there has certainly been plenty of those examples I am rotisserizing in my mind, like a chicken on a spit, the negative over and over and over again. But wait, there's more in our world we live in today. You know, there's the lowest amount of poverty in the world today than there has been in all of recorded human history. That's a fact. There are less famines in the world today than ever before. There is less pestilence in the world today than ever before. Most of the modern world has electric light. A lot of the modern world has clean water to drink. Many of us have shelter and safety and security on our streets. Many people have jobs and income and plenty of food to eat. And yet, in all of human history, I would say this is the toughest psychological time to live. Because those other physical forces of food and shelter and clothing, those are not necessarily at the forefront of most people's minds, especially in the Western hemisphere. However, what do we have today? We have phones that listen to us and provide us content and algorithms based around what we're talking about. When we scroll on our social media, it finds more of the same thing we're looking for. If we have a certain belief or opinion politically, all we see is this echo chamber that gets more and more and more and more and more and more intense. I found myself falling prey to it. I'm going to share with you that in our world today, it's many cases the most inhuman time to live psychologically. AI AI is supposed to be the new coach. I have had PE companies come to me and said, you should sell your company to us because you're going to be put out of business by AI And I tell them all the time, there's a lot of things AI can do and we use AI in a company. We have the real estate's best known and most famous and most successful AI training program. But you know what AI doesn't have at this time? It doesn't have EQ emotional intelligence. And that's what we have to do, is to break through all of these technologies, all of these habits we fall into. It tells you how many hours a day you're scrolling. The fact of the matter is there's, some of it is beneficial, some of it's fun. I get information from that stuff all the time. But those algorithms can get us into an echo chamber and then that echo chamber becomes the echo chamber in our mind. And that is where 80% of our actions come out of. If everybody tells you the sky is falling online, you start to believe it in here. A great example of this, a lovely story is one of my close personal friends. His name is John Gordon. Now John Gordon is known for his best selling book, the Energy bus. He's written 10 best selling books since then. Training camp, over and over, all these great books. Well, you know what? John was growing up, he was a negative guy. He used to say, I was born a negative New York Jew. That's how he described himself, almost like that. It was a cultural thing. Well, for his case, he got it from parental examples, step parents, the environment he was in, he bought into it. And even though he's a really good athlete, he was a lacrosse player, he ended up becoming a really negative guy. Ended up having, you know, getting married and having kids and getting to the point where he almost lost his marriage, his family and his livelihood because of his negativity. John Gordon was at the end of himself. And eventually, through faith and family and immense discipline, he, he turned his life around. He went from being the most negative guy he ever met to the most positive guy. And he said the biggest work he had to do was internally. And all John did was all the things he did to share his own journey of turning himself from being a negative person 247 to a positive person. Not 24 7, but most of the time. That journey led him to then share his experiences with other people. Became a best selling authority, a highly sought after speaker, and now a very, very successful businessman. And I can tell you, I know him as a friend. The man is a ray of sunshine. We've talked about difficult things, we've talked about hard things, but his attitude and his energy is extraordinary. So guess what? There's Hope for us all. We can take that which was negative and make it positive. Every one of us has this power. A great example of this is a gentleman I've had at my seminars many, many times. His name was Shad Helmstetter. And Shad was one of the first people to really put this into a science. He wrote a book called what to say when you talk to yourself. I want to say that. Think about the name of the book, what to say when you talk to yourself. And Shad is a guy also who practices what he preaches. He's extremely careful in what he says to others, but he's extremely careful in what he says to himself. Shad Helmsteadter helped more people lose weight in a 10 year period of time than Jenny Craig. Jenny Craig built this giant business and she helped women all over the world lose weight. But statistically, Shad Helmstetter had people lose weight and they didn't have an exercise program. He helped people change what they said to themselves. He helped women all over the world change their self image. And in changing their self image and what they said to themselves, the pounds dropped off, the behaviors changes, the eating patterns improved, the exercise regimens increased by first changing the self image. Oh, by the way, I say this for all the ladies because if you go on social media today, the images that are presented to the whole world are a false image of who and what you're supposed to be. So guess what it produces, especially in our young girls, these self image problems. I've been on this path for years. I've been studying this path for years. Why? Because I can easily go negative. I can easily be a complainer, I can easily just rotisserize myself and I have to really work at it. And when I'm at my best is when I'm working at it. And that's why I have many of these authors and presenters have spoken at my conferences in the past. In fact, one gentleman we had on the Brian Buffini show was called Ethan Cross and he wrote a fantastic book entitled how to quiet the voices in your head. We need to quiet the voices in our head negativity and then increase the voices in our head positively. What are the positive messages we want to share? What's the positive ideals we have every single day? What is it that I can add into my mind, into my Life and then 80% of my actions come out of that positive place, not that negative place. You do this little by little, every single day. You will go from complaining to conquering. You will go from being down to being up, you will go to being someone who stuck, to being someone who's an achiever. And you will go from being someone who's negative to someone who's a person of great influence, a person of great influence on other people's lives. You can do it. We're going to take control of that critic. We're going to turn that critic into your own internal cheerleader and live the life you really want to lead. I hope today's blueprint has been helpful for you. To the outside world, you're Mr. Cool. You seem to always have your ducks in a row and you especially have