Taking Control of Your Inner Critic

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Brian Buffini Show

Episode: “Taking Control of Your Inner Critic”
Host: Brian Buffini
Date: May 5, 2026

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Overview & Main Theme

In this episode, Brian Buffini tackles a universal challenge: dealing with the inner critic—the harsh voice in our heads that can undermine confidence, motivation, and joy. Brian pulls from personal experience, scientific research, ancient wisdom, and practical tools to help listeners turn self-criticism into positive self-talk. Through anecdotes, expert references, and candid audience Q&A, Brian lays out a blueprint to quiet negativity and cultivate a supportive inner life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Understanding the Inner Critic

• The Universal Challenge:
  • Everyone faces self-criticism. Brian names his own inner critic, saying:

    “My biggest critic. I shave in the mirror every morning.” (00:14)

  • While self-reflection is healthy, “self-deconstruction is bad.” (00:19)
• Controlling Thoughts:
  • References ancient scriptures: “Hold every thought captive.” Sometimes, Brian literally tells his mind to “shut up.” (00:24)
  • The goal: Shift focus to thoughts that are “noble” and “good.” (00:29)

• Become Your Cheerleader:

  “Become your own cheerleader and turn the critic off.” (00:40)

2. Input Determines Output

• Mind as an Echo Chamber:
  • Discusses the concept: “Garbage in, garbage out.” (01:07)
  • Challenges the audience to also consider, “if good stuff goes in, maybe good stuff comes out.” (01:13)
• Unconscious Mind:
  • “Did you know that up to 80% of our actions come from our non conscious mind?” (01:28)
  • The mind doesn’t distinguish between sarcasm and authentic input:

    “Your mind cannot differentiate those two things.” (01:46)

  • Negative self-talk (calling oneself “fat, lazy, stupid”) is something we’d never allow others to say to us, yet is common internally. (01:54)

3. Modern Pressures & Psychological Fatigue

• Best, Worst Times to Be Alive:
  • Despite advances (less poverty, pestilence, etc.), Brian says:

    “This is the toughest psychological time to live.” (02:53)

  • Flood of information, constant comparison via social media, and technology’s amplification of negativity (algorithms, echo chambers) worsen the problem. (03:08)
• AI & Missing EQ:
  • AI can do a lot, but “doesn’t have emotional intelligence (EQ).” (04:09)
  • The challenge is breaking habits that feed the inner critic.

    “Echo chamber becomes the echo chamber in our mind.” (05:09)

4. Stories & Scientific Insights

• John Gordon (Author, The Energy Bus):

  • Once described himself as “born a negative New York Jew” (05:32), John shifted his mindset with discipline, faith, and family—transforming from “the most negative guy” to a positivity authority. (06:06)

  • “...biggest work he had to do was internally.” (06:14)

• Dr. Shad Helmstetter (“What to Say When You Talk to Yourself”):

  • Helped thousands change behavior (including weight loss) by changing inner dialogue, without any exercise program. (07:17)

  • “He helped women all over the world change their self image.” (07:30)

  • Brian highlights the negative influence of social media on self-image, especially for young women. (07:51)

• Ethan Kross (“How to Quiet the Voices in Your Head”):

  • “We need to quiet the voices in our head negatively and then increase the voices in our head positively.” (08:32)

5. Practical Tools & Habits for Reining in the Critic

• Daily, Incremental Change:

  “You do this little by little, every single day. You will go from complaining to conquering...” (09:17)

• Be Your Own Cheerleader:
  • No one else will consistently cheer for you; practice intentional positivity. (09:52)
• Journaling:
  • “Write yourself clear.” Physically writing helps Brian be kinder to himself and gives him a record to revisit. (16:33)
• Protecting Physical & Emotional Reserves:
  • Learning that managing physical health is essential for handling emotions and inner criticism. When run-down, negativity spirals.

    “I need the physical reserves first to have the mental reserves second.” (13:17)

• Routines & Input Filtering:
  • Morning routines, no news in the car, and only positive content on YouTube support his mental health. (14:49)
• Support System:
  • Family and spouse help keep routines in check and gently call out negativity. (14:39)

6. Audience Q&A & The “Coach Em Up” Segment

• On Managing Self-Criticism:

  • Brian admits he’s “naturally predisposed to the negative,” using systems to manage it. (11:07)
  • Realizes adrenaline can only power so much; capacity comes from consistent health habits and boundaries around negativity in his environment. (12:53)

• How Much of Success Is Mental (Leslie Sullivan, 16:06):

  “If you’re not your own biggest cheerleader, nobody will be.” (16:53)

  • Mindset and self-talk are more pivotal than external factors for most success and setbacks.

• Entrepreneurship, Plateaus & Passing on Values (Sam Musa, 18:01):

  • “The most dangerous moment” for entrepreneurs is right after achieving major innovations when maintenance and discipline are needed. (18:38)
  • Importance of translating founder principles and work ethic into systems for legacy and succession. Stories about Ray Kroc (McDonalds) and company standards exemplify this. (21:46)

• Social Media & Real Estate Marketing (Leslie Sullivan, 26:52):

  “I believe it's a great supplemental process. I don’t think it's a primary process.” (27:01)

  • Advises agents to focus on fundamentals and relationships first, using social as support, not the core strategy.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Brian Buffini

• “Self reflection is good, but self deconstruction is bad.” (00:19)
• “Sometimes I actually tell my mind out loud, ‘shut up.’” (00:24)
• “You do this little by little, every single day. You will go from complaining to conquering.” (09:17)
• “If you’re not your own biggest fan, nobody will be.” (16:53)
• “I need the physical reserves first to have the mental reserves second.” (13:17)
• “We speak kindly to others and we speak unkindly to ourselves.” (16:13)
• “So many people, they die at 40, but they don’t bury them till 80.” (17:22)
• “I'd rather you had coffee with someone...than all the social media posting in the world, honest to goodness.” (28:25)

On Guest Stories

• “He helped women all over the world change their self image. And in changing their self image...the pounds dropped off, the behaviors changed...” (about Shad Helmstetter) (07:30)
• “The most dangerous moment is right after you’ve innovated; you have to do the boring discipline work.” (18:38)
• “Trust your gut...major in the majors.” (Toward agents using social media) (29:54)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Intro & Definition of the Inner Critic: 00:00 – 01:07
• How Thought Patterns Work: 01:07 – 02:00
• Modern World & Psychological Fatigue: 02:53 – 05:09
• Stories (John Gordon, Shad Helmstetter): 05:20 – 08:00
• Daily Practices & Habits: 08:20 – 10:30
• Q&A: Managing Self Criticism (with Leslie Sullivan): 11:00 – 16:06
• Q&A: Mindset vs. External Factors: 16:06 – 18:01
• Coach Em Up: Entrepreneurship & Legacy (with Sam Musa): 18:01 – 25:36
• Q&A: Social Media & Business Fundamentals (with Leslie Sullivan): 26:02 – 30:51

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Takeaways

• Everyone has an inner critic, but with discipline, awareness, and positive input, it can be transformed into an inner cheerleader.
• Modern life’s psychological pressures are unique and amplified by technology; curating mental input is crucial.
• Incremental daily practices—journaling, healthy routines, positive content—add up to a quieter, more supportive mind.
• In business and life, stick to fundamentals. Don’t let short-term excitement or new tools (e.g., social media) eclipse core values and practices.
• Seek to build a legacy rooted in both process and principle.

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Tone: Warm, down-to-earth, and practical, with Brian’s signature Irish humor and directness.

For Listeners:
If you've ever struggled with self-doubt, negative self-talk, or the pressure to do and be more (especially in today’s connected world), this episode provides actionable wisdom, relatable stories, and the tools to quiet the critic—and amplify your best self.

Transcript

[Brian Buffini]

Give me a minute and I'll help you take control of your worst critic. I have a worst critic. You have a worst critic. And I have a name for it. I call him myself. You know it, I know it. Nobody's harder on us than we are. And today I'm going to show you how to take control of that hard version of ourselves. My biggest critic. I shave in the mirror every morning. Now, self reflection is good, but self deconstruction is bad. The ancient scriptures say to hold every thought captive, sometimes I actually tell my mind out loud, shut up. Then ultimately turn your thoughts towards the positive. Whatever is noble, whatever is good. That's how you take your biggest critic and turn it into your greatest cheerleader. Here's what we have to understand. Not everyone in the world is cheering for us. We can't be joining the critics. Become your own cheerleader and turn the critic off. Top of the morning to you. I'm Brian Buffini. I don't know one person that hasn't wrestled with their own inner narrative. Some do it better than others. Where it's easier to self identify the triggers of uncertainty, mistake, comparison, that all produces fatigue. But it's what you do once the trigger occurs. That's what makes the world of a difference. If thoughts had a volume knob. Today I'm going to help you turn down the negative so the positive becomes the loudest soundtrack in your mind. My daughter Anna, her whole career in dressage was all about achieving perfection. Real judges criticizing every little detail. So don't miss our conversation in Ask Mr. B. It'll be a game changer. We'll when it comes to gaining control of your thoughts. But first, let's break down the key principles. Calming your worst critic in today's blueprint. Now today's blueprint is on how to control your inner critic. First thing I want to talk about is that your input determines your output. We all know the saying garbage in, garbage out. But we never say the opposite of that, which is if good stuff goes in, maybe good stuff comes out. How come that's not a phrase? Garbage in, garbage out, everybody knows it. Did you know that up to 80% of our actions come from our non conscious mind? You know, you can't actually reinforce in your life a negative. Hey, golfers know this. Don't hit the ball in the water. Don't hit the ball in the water. Don't hit the ball in the water. The ball's going in the water. Don't drop that cup. You're going to drop that cup by the way your unconscious non conscious mind can't tell the difference between authentic communication and sarcasm. This is a fine country. This is a fine country. Your mind cannot differentiate those two things. So when we talk down about ourselves, when we say those terrible things, and by the way we say things to ourselves we would not allow anyone else to say to us, we say things in our own mind. We call ourselves names, Fat, lazy, stupid. We wouldn't let anybody in our life say those things to us. But we say those things to ourselves all the time. When I've been at my best as a human being, it's when that part of my life is at its most disciplined. When I'm at my best as a human being, it's when I'm pumping that positive, intentionally, that positive message and reinforcing it in my life. When I'm at my worst, and there has certainly been plenty of those examples I am rotisserizing in my mind, like a chicken on a spit, the negative over and over and over again. But wait, there's more in our world we live in today. You know, there's the lowest amount of poverty in the world today than there has been in all of recorded human history. That's a fact. There are less famines in the world today than ever before. There is less pestilence in the world today than ever before. Most of the modern world has electric light. A lot of the modern world has clean water to drink. Many of us have shelter and safety and security on our streets. Many people have jobs and income and plenty of food to eat. And yet, in all of human history, I would say this is the toughest psychological time to live. Because those other physical forces of food and shelter and clothing, those are not necessarily at the forefront of most people's minds, especially in the Western hemisphere. However, what do we have today? We have phones that listen to us and provide us content and algorithms based around what we're talking about. When we scroll on our social media, it finds more of the same thing we're looking for. If we have a certain belief or opinion politically, all we see is this echo chamber that gets more and more and more and more and more and more intense. I found myself falling prey to it. I'm going to share with you that in our world today, it's many cases the most inhuman time to live psychologically. AI AI is supposed to be the new coach. I have had PE companies come to me and said, you should sell your company to us because you're going to be put out of business by AI And I tell them all the time, there's a lot of things AI can do and we use AI in a company. We have the real estate's best known and most famous and most successful AI training program. But you know what AI doesn't have at this time? It doesn't have EQ emotional intelligence. And that's what we have to do, is to break through all of these technologies, all of these habits we fall into. It tells you how many hours a day you're scrolling. The fact of the matter is there's, some of it is beneficial, some of it's fun. I get information from that stuff all the time. But those algorithms can get us into an echo chamber and then that echo chamber becomes the echo chamber in our mind. And that is where 80% of our actions come out of. If everybody tells you the sky is falling online, you start to believe it in here. A great example of this, a lovely story is one of my close personal friends. His name is John Gordon. Now John Gordon is known for his best selling book, the Energy bus. He's written 10 best selling books since then. Training camp, over and over, all these great books. Well, you know what? John was growing up, he was a negative guy. He used to say, I was born a negative New York Jew. That's how he described himself, almost like that. It was a cultural thing. Well, for his case, he got it from parental examples, step parents, the environment he was in, he bought into it. And even though he's a really good athlete, he was a lacrosse player, he ended up becoming a really negative guy. Ended up having, you know, getting married and having kids and getting to the point where he almost lost his marriage, his family and his livelihood because of his negativity. John Gordon was at the end of himself. And eventually, through faith and family and immense discipline, he, he turned his life around. He went from being the most negative guy he ever met to the most positive guy. And he said the biggest work he had to do was internally. And all John did was all the things he did to share his own journey of turning himself from being a negative person 247 to a positive person. Not 24 7, but most of the time. That journey led him to then share his experiences with other people. Became a best selling authority, a highly sought after speaker, and now a very, very successful businessman. And I can tell you, I know him as a friend. The man is a ray of sunshine. We've talked about difficult things, we've talked about hard things, but his attitude and his energy is extraordinary. So guess what? There's Hope for us all. We can take that which was negative and make it positive. Every one of us has this power. A great example of this is a gentleman I've had at my seminars many, many times. His name was Shad Helmstetter. And Shad was one of the first people to really put this into a science. He wrote a book called what to say when you talk to yourself. I want to say that. Think about the name of the book, what to say when you talk to yourself. And Shad is a guy also who practices what he preaches. He's extremely careful in what he says to others, but he's extremely careful in what he says to himself. Shad Helmsteadter helped more people lose weight in a 10 year period of time than Jenny Craig. Jenny Craig built this giant business and she helped women all over the world lose weight. But statistically, Shad Helmstetter had people lose weight and they didn't have an exercise program. He helped people change what they said to themselves. He helped women all over the world change their self image. And in changing their self image and what they said to themselves, the pounds dropped off, the behaviors changes, the eating patterns improved, the exercise regimens increased by first changing the self image. Oh, by the way, I say this for all the ladies because if you go on social media today, the images that are presented to the whole world are a false image of who and what you're supposed to be. So guess what it produces, especially in our young girls, these self image problems. I've been on this path for years. I've been studying this path for years. Why? Because I can easily go negative. I can easily be a complainer, I can easily just rotisserize myself and I have to really work at it. And when I'm at my best is when I'm working at it. And that's why I have many of these authors and presenters have spoken at my conferences in the past. In fact, one gentleman we had on the Brian Buffini show was called Ethan Cross and he wrote a fantastic book entitled how to quiet the voices in your head. We need to quiet the voices in our head negativity and then increase the voices in our head positively. What are the positive messages we want to share? What's the positive ideals we have every single day? What is it that I can add into my mind, into my Life and then 80% of my actions come out of that positive place, not that negative place. You do this little by little, every single day. You will go from complaining to conquering. You will go from being down to being up, you will go to being someone who stuck, to being someone who's an achiever. And you will go from being someone who's negative to someone who's a person of great influence, a person of great influence on other people's lives. You can do it. We're going to take control of that critic. We're going to turn that critic into your own internal cheerleader and live the life you really want to lead. I hope today's blueprint has been helpful for you. To the outside world, you're Mr. Cool. You seem to always have your ducks in a row and you especially have

[Leslie Sullivan]

a system for everything, but you're still human.

[Brian Buffini]

How do you deal with self criticism

[Leslie Sullivan]

without letting it get out of control?

[Brian Buffini]

So I think I have a system because I'm naturally so negative. I think I'm naturally predisposed to the negative. I actually get motivated via negative. Like my mom was this way. My mom, she was trying to lose weight for 25 years. When the doctor told her she was diabetic, that's when she lost weight. And I was like, I'll show you. And you know, I'm a male version of my mother. I would say this, you know, I have great experience with the self critic. I shave him every morning, I drive to the office every day with them. I just think it's natural to be human. And you know, there's all these stats on how many thousands of thoughts we have each day. And the case is, what do we rotisserize on, what do we say over and over and over again. And so I would say I fight the good fight daily. It shows up for me when I play golf. When I play golf, I have a memory of how I used to play. And now I don't practice, I don't play very often. And when I go out there, I go with a set of expectations of who I used to be. And I get very frustrated and down with myself. I think that's a very typical process for everybody. You know, we don't put in the work, we don't put in the effort, and then we're very frustrated where our relationships are. We don't put in the work, we don't put in the effort. And we're very frustrated where our body is. We don't put in the work, we don't put in the effort, very frustrated where our business is or where our finances are. And then if things are going well, the critic will come in, say it's a fluke. The critical come and say it's A hot market, a critical come and say you got lucky. You know, I talked to a gentleman recently on one of our coach him up sessions. He's had a great career for 15 years. He's had a bunch of things go wrong. All of a sudden, he's starting to doubt himself. So for however human being were designed by God, were designed to need him, need other people, and need some help. And so what I've learned, and this is kind of a more recent thing, is my power pack has always been adrenaline, right? So my job is a little different. I go on a presentation. It used to be at a kitchen table to try to make a sale or a listing or whatever. Now I go and do a presentation. Might be 5,000 people, right? So you saw me recently, I was sick as a dog, and I went and I presented for three days in front of 5,000 people, right as rain. Well, the adrenaline kicked in. Well, that's fine. It's fine until the adrenaline leaves. So what I've actually discovered about myself more recently, I wish it didn't take me so long to get here, is that I actually need the physical reserves first to have the mental reserves second. So I actually find that I need to have the power pack be in an energy source other than adrenaline. And that is I have to have capacity. I have to have strength, I have to have endurance. When I have the physical capacity, I'm able to handle things better emotionally. And so when I'm run down emotionally and then I get run down physically, then I eat poorly, then I sleep poorly, now I drain the power pack even further. So now you're in the death spiral. Now you're in the critical spiral. And that's when sometimes my bride will come to me and say, honey, and your mom is genius at this. She'll say, how have you been doing with your routines lately? Now, that's a nice way of saying, After 35 years, son, you are out of sorts, and you are a negative ninny. She'll say to me, how are you doing with your routines? Because she knows when I'm on my routines, when I start my day right when I'm building up my capacity, I have more energy to withstand the negativity. I have more capacity to handle when things don't go right. So that's more of a recent thing, and it might be getting a little bit older. I used to be able to overpower things with adrenaline, and now the flip side of adrenaline is cortisol, which makes you not able to sleep. It makes you not be able to lose weight. So that might be a very different answer than what anybody was expecting. But I believe for me, that's all I can speak for. I need to be at my physical best to then have the emotional capacity to handle things. And then I have my morning routines. And then as well as that, I do not listen to news in my car. I'm listening to either books or motivational music. I'm only listening to positive stuff. I've gotten into watching a lot of YouTube lately. I only watch positive stuff on YouTube. I do not. I don't follow people on social per se and get caught up in those spirals, but I watch a lot of YouTube. That's why I'm excited we're doing a YouTube show now. But I'm very, very cognizant of what I put inside my head. But when the capacity's up and then I put the good stuff up, you know, and by the way, the last part in this is I'm supposed to be a motivational speaker. I mean, who wants to listen to a depressed motivational speaker, you know? So it's kind of, you know, it's an additional blessing that I kind of. It forces me to really be conscious of it. Yeah.

[Leslie Sullivan]

When you're working with people all through these years, how much of it do

[Brian Buffini]

you think is when they don't make it or they're struggling to make it, is mental self doubt, inner critic versus external factors? Well, again, you know, we talk about Chad Helmstead and what do you say when you talk to yourself? You know, the studies show, like we would never allow anyone else in our life to say the things that we say to ourselves. We speak kindly to others and we speak unkindly to ourselves. So I think we've got to actually be conscious to be kind to ourselves. Where I do that well is journaling. And so they say, write yourself clear. When I write down physical pen into a nice. I've always had those nice leather journals when I journal. And I tend to be much kinder towards myself and I keep a record of it. And then when I go back and revisit those journals, it's very helpful. But I think if you're not your own biggest fan, nobody will be. If you're not your own biggest cheerleader, nobody will be. At the end of the day, I'm going to go into that box by myself. Know they're not going to make a box for two. Even with your mom, they're not going to make a box for eight. With all our kids, they're not going to make a box for probably 20 with our kids, their spouses and their grandkids. I'm going to end up in a box by myself. And what I want to do is I don't want to enter into that box prematurely. And so many people, they die at 40, but they don't bury them till 80. And so mentally I'm not going to turn my mind into a prison and I'm going to fight the good fight to put the good thoughts in, to be kind to myself and to put, try to put more good thoughts in than negativity coming out. Good stuff. It's awesome. Mic drop. Top of the morning to you. You are on coach him up on the Brian Buffini show. Who's our first victim today?

[Sam Musa]

Samusa here in Ottawa, Canada.

[Brian Buffini]

Hey, Sam, great to hear your voice. How are you?

[Sam Musa]

I'm great, thanks. How are you?

[Brian Buffini]

Good stuff. What's the one question you got for me today I could help you with?

[Sam Musa]

I got a question for you. So we, I saw you at Leadership and I was taught, we were talking about planning and business and, you know, having a multiple income generation that we have. So we've got all that we pre planned. And then I asked you the question, what's next? And you said, you're at your most dangerous moment. And I was. And then you left me because you went on stage. So I was like, oh, what does that mean?

[Brian Buffini]

Well, so the question is, you know, you've just innovated a bunch of new stuff and it's exciting and exhilarating to start stuff. And what happens to the typical entrepreneur is there's a boring flat period of the plateau that must be endured because people like us, we like to start things, we like to innovate because the innovation gives you the, that's the wind in your face, you know, that freedom feeling like I'm doing something, I'm starting something. And so the reason I said you're at your most dangerous is you got all these exciting things going. Now the key is to go and do the dirty work, the discipline work to make sure every one of these profit centers is actually profitable. To make sure it's actually delivering extraordinary service to your customers. To make sure you're rooting out all the, you've got to do the process work. There's a great book actually, it's called From Barbarians to Bureaucrats. And as an entrepreneur, we're naturally built as barbarians to go create stuff and make stuff and get stuff going. But then there's this bureaucratic element that has to happen. We have to actually deliver, we have to build processes, we have to make it duplicate able so it's ultimately scalable. So that's the conversation, Sam, and let me ask you, how is that going for you?

[Sam Musa]

So far so good. We got everything covered. We got, you know, multiple income streams going.

[Brian Buffini]

So what are some of the streams you've got going?

[Sam Musa]

Well, we have a real estate, obviously our real estate business. We have a property management company.

[Brian Buffini]

Terrific.

[Sam Musa]

We have heavily involved in apartment buildings and then, you know, and then holdings and a lot of holdings and things like that. So it keeps us busy. And you know, we talked to you talked to me about, you know, making sure that nothing can go through that wall and you know, just you know, pre planning for estate planning, all that stuff has all been taken care of and now and so we basically, I think I've got everything wrapped up. So it's, it's, it's a matter of, of, you know, what's next, what to do and then, you know, what's on the next journey of.

[Brian Buffini]

Yeah, well, I would say for you. And again it all gets down to your goals because you've, you've got it wrapped up and now at the case is you end up with multiple databases, right. You're going to end up with a property management database, an apartment database, your real estate database, and you're actually building multiple brands underneath your company so that the property management people just think of you for property management. They're your real estate customers. Just think of it with regards to buying and selling homes and then your apartment buildings. So that's number one. The next thing is then how to scale and create margin. And then the third thing is, are you building a business to acquire other businesses? Are you building a business to be acquired yourself or is it a business you think you'd like to pass off to the next generation? So it's very important that you start thinking once you get these processes in place, you get these multiple revenue streams in place. Am I, am I an acquirer, am I a seller or I'm a legacy builder. Right. So that's you. Let me ask you just off. I just shared those three things with you. Which one do you think is the long term play 10 years from now?

[Sam Musa]

Legacy? For sure.

[Brian Buffini]

Sure. So you have family that would want to take it over and people you can pass that well. Great. Then the goal is to hand off a business that can ultimately keep the core values of what you believe in. Because here's what happens. You know, all founders, we all struggle with the fact that we have great passion and fire and we did the dirty work and all of us and I'm sure you have kids, Sam.

[Sam Musa]

I do. I got three ones. One's right there if you can see them up good.

[Brian Buffini]

All right, I see them there. Yeah. Well, here's the thing. We have a tendency to want better things for our kids than we had. Right. I don't want my kids to grow up in a 720 square foot house like I did with one bathroom for 10 people. Right. So we work very hard to make sure that they have a better experience than we do with that. Sometimes the values and the principles can be missed. Now, I'm happy to say between my wife and I, we developed a fantastic work ethic for each one of our kids. But I'll give you another example. When Ray Kroc was alive and well and running McDonald's, the bathrooms in the McDonald's were impeccable. He was fanatical about how clean the bathrooms were maintained. And when people were on road trips anywhere across America, families would always stop at McDonald's because of the bathrooms. That's when the kids meal came from. Okay. Because so many families would stop off at McDonald's. Now, I don't want to get myself into trouble, but if you go into a typical McDonald's today, let's just say there might be a few science experiments running around at times. Okay, got it. So what happened is that incredible core value did not get translated on in his succession plan. That that principle did not get passed on. Very, very typical in businesses we've all experienced. But you know, you could say the same with Disneyland and other places where there was a tremendous commitment to certain levels of excellence that just hasn't been maintained. So the key is, how do you then put the standard operating procedures along with the core values that made you Sam Musa to make you such a success? And Ottawa hasn't been the easiest market in the last 10 years, but you've thrived in it. Well, there's certain principles. There's a work ethic, there's an attitude that you've, you've built and you, you represent and it's just you. So you don't think it's a big deal. And so whether it's your family, whether it's your kids, whatever it is, the secretaries in the office, whoever, it's. How do you make those core values come alive? And I'll say this, at Buffini and Company, I've had to work very hard in the recent years to make sure. That our commitment to work by referral was as voracious as it could be. And we slipped. And why did we slip? Because of a hot market. So the two things that'll test you in business is success and adversity. And in our case, it was we ran into a super hard market and what happens is our standards started to drop. And so I'm barking around the place and they go, oh, he just can't be pleased. It was the standards I was frustrated with. And then when the market got tough the last three years, now all of a sudden the absence of those standards has been a wake up call for a lot of people. So it happens to everybody. It happened to me. It's going to happen to you. But like, you have these things in place now. You got to make them such. You got to systemize them to such a degree that whoever your family and all the employees that come after know the principles, the core values that you built this company on.

[Sam Musa]

It's been an absolute pleasure working with your company and the best coach ever. Julie Pergola is my coach. She's amazing. And you guys have been amazing and, you know, always there through the, you know, the good times, bad times, the, you know. And I just want to say thank you to you and your organization, which I always say, thank you, but I want to say it live here.

[Brian Buffini]

I appreciate you. Sam, how long you been in our coaching program?

[Sam Musa]

13 years.

[Brian Buffini]

13 years. Well, we appreciate you. It's exciting and I'm glad you were able to jump onto the coach him up section here and do a little one on one with yours truly. So it was fun hanging out with you today, but thanks for joining us from Ottawa. Top of the morning to you. Welcome to Coach Em Up. You're on the Brian Buffini Show. Leslie, tell everybody who you are and where you're calling from.

[Leslie Sullivan]

So I am Leslie Sullivan and I am in Magnolia, Texas and I've been in coaching for about 15 years.

[Brian Buffini]

Oh, yeah? Yeah. So let me ask you what, what can I do for you today?

[Leslie Sullivan]

So my question today, Brian, it's, it's about video. And I love that you're diving in and you're, you know, I'm seeing you all over Facebook with all your videos and so forth. But I guess my question is, is there is just so much noise out there about we're Realtors being on TikTok Instagram constantly doing videos and I think it's great. Don't get me wrong, I love video. I like to be famous on video. But I just really want to know how relevant is it? Because if we're spending all of our time on video and trying to be viral and famous out there, we're not really out there with our clients and connecting with them and building our business that way. So what's your take on that?

[Brian Buffini]

Brilliant question. And so let me, let me answer because this is, I believe, one of the hottest topics kind of under my saddle right now. Social media has a, has a place to play. In fact, I'm using it a lot myself. In fact, I'm using it more myself. However, it's a supporting process. And so when you hear, oh, you've got to be on 10 channels and post three times a day, you got to create the content, cut the content, download the content, present the content, let me say that's a full time job. And on top of that, I'm not sure that every Realtor is great at creating content. I'm not sure that every realtor is that interesting. And so I'm just going to say this. I believe it's a great supplemental process. I don't think it's a primary process. And so my encouragement to every agent out there is. Years ago you had to have a business card. Well, today you better be on social media because when somebody gets even a referral, they're going to check out your social channels. But if you're trying to be an influencer, if you think you're going to get paid by clicks, if there's a million two people in the real estate business, there might be 10 people who are going to make enough money on social media next year in order to pay their family's bills. What I will say to you is that social media is a tremendous strategy for supporting, you're working by referral dynamics, your existing relationships. It's a great vehicle to provide information to the broad database at one time. It's a good way for people to meet you on a new scale. But if I was taking a look at a person's day and let's say they're going to spend two hours a day working in their business, Leslie, if they had two hours a day and they're spending more than 15 minutes on it, then I think it's too much. Now if somebody's doing four hours a day, a lead generation, great, move it up. But I'll say this, I would rather you had coffee with someone. I'd rather you wrote five personal notes in a day. I'd rather you did 10 popeyes in a week than all the social media posting in the world, honest to goodness. And it's just the problem is you hear this from everybody, everybody's doing it, everybody's doing it. Well, that's why half the real estate business hasn't sold a house last year. And so it's easy to sell. It's very easy to sell someone on themselves. It's very easy to say, hey, get dressed up, you're the star. It's, that's selling somebody themselves is the easiest sell in the world. I have the hardest job in the world is selling people on the fundamentals, selling the people on not being the star, making your client the star. And so you're right on, your intuition is right. I think you need to have some social media presence. That's why built into your membership we have social media support for you, we'll do posting for you, we'll lay down valuable information for you and then if you can tweak it with some personalization and some other aspects of that over time, terrific. AI is moving in that direction. There's more and more help to be made. I think social media is here to stay and you need to have it supported. However, I do not think it is a primary marketing strategy. It is not a primary lead generation strategy. And just because everybody's doing it, you just have to be disciplined. Trust your gut. Because just like you are very strong and how you asked that question, you know in your gut that's not how you make your money, it's not how you build your business, but it is a way you can support it. So just make sure you, you, you major in the majors, you're right on and you trust your gut. You know, good Texas woman, you know what's up and so keep on keeping on.

[Leslie Sullivan]

I appreciate that so very much. You have no idea.

[Brian Buffini]

Yeah, great question. A lot of people have that question, but you had the chops to ask it. Good for you. Leslie, thanks for joining us today.

[Leslie Sullivan]

Thank you.