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- [00:00]
A
Give me just one minute, and I'll show you how to turn disappointment into direction. Disappointment. We always ask, why didn't this happen? Or why did this happen? Direction asks, now what do we do with what we've learned? A great example of this in my life was about a year and a half ago. I got a bad diagnosis. Kind of a shocking diagnosis, as it turned out. It was a misdiagnosis. But what that diagnosis did for me was create the disappointment. That turned the energy into me focusing more on my health. It led me to change how I eat, change how I have a morning routine. It turned out it was a false alarm. However, the alarm led to some direction, and that direction changed my life for the better. I'm not alone in this. Sometimes we get disappointment, but it's dressed up as direction. Maybe this is a minute that can help you. The morning to you. I'm Brian Buffini. You're in for a real treat today. Let's talk about expectations. Those sneaky little contracts we make with ourselves in our head. You know the ones. Oh, they should have called me. This deal should have closed. My kids should listen the first time. We build the whole movie. We cast the characters, we write the ending, and then life shows up and it's not the way we expected. And suddenly we're disappointed, frustrated, maybe even a little ticked off or worse. Not because life went wrong, because it didn't follow our script. Today we're gonna laugh a little, get honest, and unpack how those unmet expectations might not be the problem at all. They might actually be pointing us towards something better, something bigger. Get ready for today's blueprint. William Shakespeare said, expectation is the root of all heartache. You know, the root cause of all conflict is unmet expectation. William Shakespeare probably knew a little bit about that. You know, recently they produced a movie about his life called Hamnet. Hamnet was the name of his son. His son who died at 11 years of age. Can you imagine that kind of heartache, that kind of tragedy, ultimately, that type of unmet expectation, your goal is, and your hope is your children are going to outlive you and live a long life. Maybe some of you have suffered that type of heartache. So whether it's the ultimate tragedy of losing a child or the small tragedies of someone took your parking spot, we all have these expectations. And when these expectations are not met, it creates this frustration. And sometimes it's frustration that we live in this permanent state of being let down. We wait for people to let us down. We wait for Circumstances to go wrong. What if we actually have the wrong expectations? What if I had an expectation that at 80 I'm going to be fitter and more flexible and more youthful than when I'm 18? Now, some people say, well, that's possible. Okay, I mean, you can be healthy at 80, I've seen it. But am I going to be more flexible, more youthful than 18? No. No, I'm not. It's an unrealistic expectation. So there's things that happen in life, there's things that are part of nature. What goes up must come down. Values in homes, values in real estate, values in the stock market. It only ever goes up, it never goes down. Those are unrealistic expectations. Sometimes those unrealistic expectations are the fantasy we need in order to tolerate our current life. It's the false hope. And the only thing I say that's worse than having no hope is having false hope. So one of the things I'm going to encourage you is when you set goals, you set expectations, is to learn the word tolerance. Now, that word has many, many meanings in our society today. But tolerance ultimately is a construction term. So when somebody's framing a house and they pour the concrete, they pour the foundation, then they frame up the wood, that's certainly California construction. There's what's called the tolerance, and that is that the house does not have to be framed absolutely perfectly. It doesn't have to have millimeter precision. Why? Because the next thing, here comes the drywall, here comes the tape job, here comes the paint job. As we painters used to say, we cover a multitude of sin for the carpenters. And what that gap is, is called tolerance. We need a little bit of tolerance in our schedule. We need tolerance in our business, in our finances, in our health and in our relationships. And what that is, is creating margin, creating gaps. And so what these expectations that are not a rooted in experience. So you haven't been somewhere before. This is where you talk to people, you get insight, maybe coaching, maybe counseling on what's normal in a situation like this. What's typical in a situation like this, then you create a plan or a goal around what you want to achieve or what you're hoping to have happen. And then you've got to have tolerance around it. You know, oftentimes in those gaps is when the magic is actually created. A story of unmet expectations was Thomas Edison. Now we know that Thomas Edison spent years and years and years trying to create the light bulb. He had a great competitor, one time mentee in Nikola Tesla, and they would go back and forward. So he had stiff competition. It was one of the great things in the world to ultimately create electric light. It was going to transform the world. And they said he tried 800 times in experiments to build a light bulb and failed. Now, what Thomas Edison believed in that each one of these failures, his expectation was he was going to learn something. Now, here's a little stat for you. Thomas Edison owns 1093 US patents with another somewhere between 3 to 400 partial patents. You know, a third of those patents were created while failing at creating the light bulb. You see, he understood that creating that tolerance, that gap, not that I'm going to do all this work, I'm going to do all this research, and boom, I'm going to produce a light bulb. His expectation was, I'm going to do all this prep, I'm going to do all this work, and I'm going to learn something. You know, I will say this. There's a pretty good chance in my whole life I won't produce something that's patented. There's a pretty good chance. I've trademarked a lot of stuff, a lot of original content, but a patent, an actual invention that I patent, there's a good chance I won't achieve that. This man did it 10, 93 times. You know, he suffered a fire. I had lost my home in a fire. I lost part of my business in a fire. One time he lost his entire laboratory, a giant laboratory in New York. And as he stood there over the wreckage, he said, great, no problem. All of our mistakes have been burned up. We get to start again. Wow, that's tolerance. This is one of the most significant human beings who ever lived. And he had proper expectations and built in tolerance there. He had some gaps. So here's my question to all of you. What are your expectations? And I would say the key to your expectations is to have them connected to standards. Standards lead to proper expectations. For example, I have a standard for what I do in my day. Now, I'll give you an example. Today was a day that started early. I had a series of business calls that started today. I have a day of filming today, and I have a whole bunch of stuff to get done. So my morning routine, that's very regimented, did not happen today. My morning routine is going to happen tonight. So I have a standard of what I'm going to get accomplished in a day. I'm just going to do my morning routine this evening. That's what's real. I went into today not frustrated and Anxious because my routines were off. I went into today knowing I've made an allotment for the routines that are very helpful for my life and my health and my well being. I'm going to get them done today, just now, perfectly. Here's a great little tool that might help you. 4 Reflect, reveal, realign and recommit. I'll say that again. Reflect, reveal, realign and recommit. These are helpful things. So reflect what happened, reveal what was I expecting? Realign what needs to change and recommit. What are we going to do next? One of the things I've taught for years is about business is called the magic meeting. What's working well? What needs improvement? What are your ideas? This is how I do it as a company. Brene Brown said to be clear is to be kind. How about you're kind to yourself and others? One of the things we talked about is why don't my kids listen the first time? Well, where did you ever get that expectation and did you actually do that yourself? Have you ever seen a child that does that? Not really. So why do we have that expectation? The key component is what can I learn each and every time? My expectation is this based on a principle. The scriptures say train up a child in the way they shall go and when they're old they'll not depart from it. So my expectation with my children is to have that tolerance for my kids so that I do the best I can to live what I believe, I do my best to teach what I believe and I do my best to reinforce what I believe. That's for their best interest, their betterment, the development of their character. And I'm willing to wait until they're old. Now hopefully there'll be a few positive signs along the way, but I'm willing to wait till they're old. Guess what? I'm able to enjoy my children in this life. I've been able to enjoy my children at each season of my life because my expectation is it's all going to come to fruition when they're old and I see all these positive signs of their actions, their behaviors, their interactions while they're young. That's an example of a proper expectation that gives me a sense of tolerance and for the most part I'm then able to be tolerant towards my kids. Well, there's my blueprint for you. Hopefully we're able to help you show how to turn disappointment into direction, set proper expectations and have a few tools of the four oars on how to handle it. Hope this was Helpful today.
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B
You said we become who we are because of the adversity we face in life. Then we try to remove all adversity from our children's lives. How did you and mom approach that?
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A
Yeah. So the natural thing is, especially when your kids are young, you're the protector, Right. So you're trying to protect your kids. And there's a lot in this world to protect your kids from. You know, I used to walk home from school at a very young age. My mother never or father never gave her a thought. Today, that probably wouldn't be something you'd. You know. Child trafficking was not a thing in Dublin in the 1970s. At least I don't think it was. So we both had very strong protection mechanisms and then also realized that our kids needed to go through adversity. Looks like a workout, right? A workout tears your muscles, and when it grows back, that's when they get big and strong. So we homeschooled our kids, Right? You were homeschooled along with your brothers and sisters. And it might not have been the most perfect education in the world, but it was what we committed to. You never got to go to a sleepover at a friend's house? We didn't do sleepovers, and we were asked every month to do a sleepover somewhere. Now, there were lots of sleepovers at our house. People could bring their kids to our house, but nothing bad ever happened in our house, and the families we knew trusted us. But you guys never slept over someone else's house ever?
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B
No, never.
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A
So we were not, oh, we're just going to let the kids run barefoot through the streets and figure it out. They'll, you know, they'll get the gravel, you know, Suck it up, Johnny. So we took a lot of steps. Yeah, you know, I remember the first ipod. Dear Lord, your older brother got an ipod. And I'm like, if you put that crappy wrap on there, I'm going to. You know. And I'd sit down with him once a month and listen to what he had on there. And sure enough, every month, he would lose that iPad. So we were very protective of the things that we felt were very important. Our kids never did drugs because they never had access to them. Our kids never were in abusive situations because they never were in a spot to be abused. So we were very protective. Now, at the same time, we knew that you guys had to get some calluses. And one of the ways we chose to do that as a sporting type family was through sports. And that is where I see this like, played out today. Like, all of you guys played multiple sports and you won all kinds of competitions. And everybody focuses on, you know, all the championships our kids won and all the achievements they had. But the fact of the matter is, there's an awful lot to be learned there. And one of the things that's absolute epidemic, especially among travel ball today, if I hear the word playing time again, it'll be one time too many, which is because I pay money and because my kid goes to practice all the time. I don't come to the practices as a parent, but I come to the games and I expect to see my kid play. We are robbing these kids of the opportunity to A, there's people in life who are more talented than you, B, for the good of the team, sometimes you participate in the practice. And C, there's a heck of a lot to learn about being on the bench and working your way off the bench. I mean, that's what real life is. And so many parents, absolutely, because of their own narcissistic need. I want to see my little Johnny and my little Mary score the winning goal or celebrate or whatever else. Oh, but we're up by a goal. Why don't we do that? You know, I've been on teams. Your brother Adam, he had a coach that every time they got up by 10, he took all the starters out and put all the backups in. Kept the parents happy. That team lost almost every game, demoralized the kids. And by the way, that's not how life works. So there's benefits to being on the bench. There's benefits. Like, if you really want to see your kid go to practice and see how well the coach is coaching them up during practice, see if they're getting better. If they're participating in an activity, they're trying hard and they're getting better. And then the big test, then as a parent, we sit in the car and we bitch and moan to the kid about the team or the teammates or whatever else. Every part of that is setting a kid up for failure. And so I'll just, you know, that's my little rant, of course. But, you know, we've six kids. You guys all played at least three competitive sports. And we've seen it all the way through. People come to us now because your mom's, you know, obviously her Olympic background and everything else. People are always asking how to get my kids a college scholarship and those kinds of things. So we talk to them about it. But the fact of the matter is, I see it all the time, where people are trying to remove the adversity from the character developing stuff. And we put all of you guys in a place to develop a character. Dear Lord, you play the hardest sport in the history of mankind. You had a 20 year career where there was, I'd say, seven to 10 disappointments for every victory. And you're super famous and you're known all over the world, but, you know, it just doesn't sell on Instagram, all the disappointments. In fact, one of the ways you became famous was sharing what the challenges were. So, look, it's part of life. And if you tell your kids, you're never going to be disappointed, you're never going to be set back. Oh, by the way, irrespective of your talent, irrespective of your output, irrespective of your attitude, you get to play, you get to participate. Like, that's not how. I'll tell you what, I'm not hiring somebody like that. I'm not putting someone like that on my team. So you're setting them up for failure.
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B
How have you turned disappointment in your own life in a direction?
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A
We've had a few bumps on the road ourselves, right. One I'd give an example of, I think is for a lot of people that could relate to, perhaps is losing our home in a fire. And so October 22, 2007, we had just come from Hawaii and then flew. Remember, we were guests of Lou Holtz and we went to Notre Dame and we saw Notre Dame play usc. And then we flew home and we get home late, There's a smell of smoke in the air. We put six kids. You were what, 12 years old?
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B
Yeah, 12.
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A
And so we put everybody to bed. It's like one in the morning, and then there's a ring at the gate and it says, we need you out now. This is the fire department. We want you. Don't gather your belongings, don't take anything. You need to leave now. The fire's coming at 75 miles an hour. And so we got six sleepy kids, the shirts on our back, no pictures, no photos. All your gymnastic videos of every video meet you ever did, which is your first love, all gone. The house burned to the ground. And it was a massive disappointment, right? It was. We homeschooled in that house. We had this perfect setup, you know, was a. It was a fabulous home. It was made for you guys. So that was a big disappointment. And. And we end up having to move six times in the next 18 months through a lot of different circumstances. But that time probably brought our family together closer than ever before. Yeah, you know, we stayed at La Costa for seven weeks and taught you guys how to order room service. You guys, like, this is the greatest thing ever.
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B
It was great.
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A
We lived in a very small house at one stage, and you guys all slept on the floor. And you guys, you know, one o' clock in the morning, you guys are having pillow fights and doing this and doing that. I would also say it produced in my kids very unmaterialistic people, people who are not attached to materialism. And for a family that had a lot of resources, I think that's made you guys very powerful. But I look at two different examples in our life, which was our fire and Covid. Our family got so much stronger after the fire. And our family, like Covid, was this terrible thing. It was a party for us. Right? Right. We were watching BTS every day. We were making our own food. You and Adam were doing. I was doing broadcast to like 200,000 people out of my home. And you and Adam were like the TV producers. But our family, like Covid, to me, even though it was a tragedy internationally for our family, it was one of the best times ever. And post fire was one of the best times ever. Tragedy for sure. But I just think it's an attitude, it's a mindset. And we just decided, hey, we're going to make this the best. And sometimes, like I say, things burn up and what comes out the other side is something very powerful. So, you know, I don't know what your memories of those times are.
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B
I think, actually a quick question. When the house burned down again, I remember that time being hard, but you and mom did such a good job of not putting the burden on us that our entire lives had burned down. How did you guys work as a team during that time?
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A
Yeah, I remember going to the site, and it was hard. Like, I remember seeing that house smoldering. But from the very first day we saw the house and our cars are burnt and everything else, and I cracked a few jokes, I think lighten the mood. But we took an American flag and planted it amongst the rubble. And I put a little sign together, we'll be back. And we built a fabulous home on that same location within two years. And it was a great experience. And you guys grew up in that home and all of your friends came to that home. I just think we realized this is the circumstance. We're trusting God. Nothing happens by accident. And we're going to look forward five or six years later. You'd still go, oh, do you have that? Oh, no, that burned up. Do you have that? No, we don't have that anymore. And there was a lot of stuff that burned that was very meaningful and generational and family heirlooms. But I think we decided, okay, what's the next stage of our life? And the same thing happened with COVID Like, we came together as a family. We had dinner every night together as a family, and everybody took turns in cooking and creating stuff together. And it was a. How. It was a howl. I mean, one of my favorite times in life was an international tragedy. And again, I hate to speak of that because people lost their lives and upset so many things, but I look at that stuff and I go post fire. Our family became closer, and during COVID our family had a great time.
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B
Yeah.
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A
Top of the morning to you, Todd. Welcome to coach em up on the Brian Buffini show. Why don't you tell everybody who you are and where you're from?
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C
Top of the morning, Brian. Todd Maloof from Connecticut.
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A
Yes, sir. Yes, sir. I recognize you. Let me ask you, what can I do for you today? What's the one burning question I can help you with?
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C
Well, Brian, I love your perspective. And this is something that's actually pretty humbling for me. After 15 years of building a real estate business in New Jersey, where I was doing about 20 to 30 million dollars in sales volume each year, my family and I decided to move to Connecticut.
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A
Sure.
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C
And essentially, I had to start over from scratch. I'm still servicing my New Jersey business because of the proximity, but here in Connecticut, I'm trying to build a presence in a luxury market where relationships and track record mean everything.
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A
Sure.
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C
So it's breaking in has really been kind of a challenge for me.
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A
Yeah.
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C
You know, I'm doing the fundamentals. Networking groups, events. You know, I meet neighbors, building relationships. But I'm struggling to regain momentum. And honestly, it's starting to bleed into my confidence a bit. And the income just isn't where it used to be. So as an experienced agent with a proven track record, what would I be able to focus on in the next 90 days to rebuild my credibility not just with my clients, but also with other agents in the market who control a lot of the opportunities as well.
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A
Okay. So first and foremost, you know, you've been operating at one of the highest levels in the country for a long, long time, and that's your comfort zone. You're like the golfer who's used to shoot in 74, 75. You move to Connecticut and You're shooting in the mid to high 80s. Okay? So first and foremost, I want to say this to you. The fact that you made this decision for your family, I'm sure you didn't come upon it lightly, and it's a really gutsy call. Okay, and if you made this, what was the motivation behind the move?
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C
Family.
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A
Great. So this was in the best is your family. It was the best thing for the family, and you were going to take the hit to do it. So right off the bat, you know, your stock price is up with me, my friend. Okay, thank. Secondly, you didn't stop being a great agent, that you've been doing this for 15 years at the highest level, and you made a move in perhaps the worst market in 100 years. Okay? So we just need to have that perspective. And then the last thing is you move to a higher end market, and higher end markets are always like, I. What I say it's more like whale fishing than cod fishing. Okay? You go catch cod, you catch a lot of them. You fill your nets, you have good food. Whale fishing is the. The higher average sales price. Like, I just sold my house and bought another. That realtor just had a record year from one client. You follow me? So. So the relationships take a little bit longer. So my. My encouragement to you is this. Don't forget who you are. Don't forget what you've done. You're out of your comfort zone because you're used to doing this level of production. And now I'm like, hey, I'm the new kid on the block. Well, guess what? I went from being one of the top realtors in North America to a real estate trainer. And I would go and I would be asked as one of the top guys. I remember being being asked to speak at a conference. There was 5,000 people, and they were lined around the building to talk to me when I went to go become a speaker. Now there's 17 people in a ballroom, and they're like, who's this schmuck? So in order to go to the next level, you have to go, survival, stability, success, significance. You've been at significance for a long time. You go back to survival. And the first thing is just to be aware of that. And the psychological dynamic is called homeostasis. It's like the homing pigeon. You've probably heard me talk about this before. It's like, I just want to go back where things make sense, right? It's. I just want to go back. You know, it's the. It's the librarian In Shawshank Redemption, I want to go back to prison because that's comfortable. Your comfort zone is 20 to 30 million a year. So my encouragement to you is this. You need to set up every single day the activities that you know to do to build relationships, connect with people and do those things faithfully. It's going to take a little bit of time. What you need to focus on is the discipline of the daily activities. You've done this for years. This stuff just doesn't work in New Jersey. Okay? We train in 47 countries, and this works everywhere in the world. You're gifted at it and you're used to being the trusted advisor as opposed to the outsider knocking on the outside, coming in. So what you need to do is a realize that you are who you are and you're just going to do the activities every day. Okay? I'm going to go and meet with the lenders in the local market that the realtors aren't meeting with. I'm going to talk to them about doing business with them, and I'm also going to ask them for referrals. Why? Because no one else is asking them for referrals. I'm going to go talk to the plumbers and the painters and the roofers and the contractors. I'm going to go join bni. You know, I'm going to get connected in the community. I'm going to join the Chamber of Commerce. I want to do stuff I don't normally do that I don't normally have to do. Okay, let me ask you socially, what do you like to do? Do you play golf? Do you play tennis? You do all that stuff?
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C
I'm like you. I'm a golfer. I'm not really. I'm not a 70s shooter.
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A
But, you know, you're going to start. Here's what you're going to do. You're going to start playing golf with new people all the time. And. And the goal is that you're not trying to, hey, I need business from you is I'm trying to connect, interact, and get plugged into the community. And you will find there's people who are natural conduits to plug you into the community, and you're just trying to find a few of those. So my encouragement to you, and that's why even with the blitz stuff and whatever else is head and rear down, your wins right now are the activities and not the results. It's the hardest thing you're ever going to do. But you will look back on this with more pride than anything. You've ever done. Because to pick up shop and to leave a super successful practice and move on to the next one, that's a big deal. Now, I certainly hope you're still taking care of those folks and that there's someone you're referring to business back to there. If you're not taking care of it, that you're.
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C
You know, I have a partner there
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A
who is Boots and Ground. Great. So that. That'll pay some bills, right? Those fees will pay some bills.
- [27:12]
C
It keeps the electric on.
- [27:14]
A
Yeah, right. But here's what I would say. What you need to do is view this as an excitement. View this as the courageous decision that it actually is. View this as I made this commitment for my family and I believe that God blesses decisions like that. That's what I believe. And so the key for you now to maintain your confidence and also to create momentum for yourself is you do the activities every single day. I'm going to add five people to my database today. I'm going to write five notes to all those people I met. I'm going to get out in the marketplace. I'm going to see people. I'm going to join different groups. I've never joined before. Let me ask you this. Have you looked up the Buffini small group yet in the Connecticut area where you're living? I'm a part of it. I'm actually a part of it. So you want hey, guys. And you're thinking they're your competition? No. Plug me in. Who do you know? Where do you know? If any of you get a lead that's outside your area, refer to me and I'm going to hustle it up for right now. So all you need to know is this. Don't forget who you are. Don't forget what you've done. That's who you are. You've been doing it your whole life and you've got this new opportunity. And I really respect the reason for the decision. And the only thing you can do is focus on the activities. The results will come. And this time when the results will come, you'll be doing 20 million a year within a couple of years. And it'll be easier and deeper and better because your average sales price improves so much.
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C
I hope so. That's the goal. And you know what? I am doing a lot of those activities. I'm starting to see stuff to pay off a little bit here and there.
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A
Yeah.
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C
You know, the confidence thing is. Is the. What's dragging me down a little bit.
- [28:52]
A
Yeah. Just don't you know, your outcomes are not your identity. Okay. Your value is not in the result. You're out. Your, your value is in what you do every day.
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C
Yeah.
- [29:02]
A
And look, I mean, my business has gone through a bunch of changes, but I'm focused on what I can do every day and connecting with my members, connecting with the people we coach, Getting out and about and seeing people, that's what I'm doing. And I'm enjoying it for the sake of it. You follow me and you do that enough. You do that enough, the results will come. You know that to be true. You just needed a reminder of it today. And that's what coaching does for you, right?
- [29:27]
C
Yep. Yep.
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A
Hey, bud, thanks so much for joining me today. I appreciate you keep chipping away. It's going to come. I'm looking forward to hearing the end of this story.
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C
Listen, I'm never too busy for your referrals.
- [29:38]
A
Attaboy, attaboy. Well, there's some people listening today. And whereabouts in Connecticut are you, Todd?
- [29:44]
C
Southwest portion of Connecticut. So we're basically a suburb of Manhattan. 45 minute train ride into Grand Central.
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A
Great. All right, well, I guarantee you there's some people probably listening to this today who have referral for you.
- [29:55]
C
Thanks, Brian.
- [29:56]
A
All right, bud, thanks for calling in. Well, top of the morning to you. Welcome to Coach Em Up. You're on the Brian Buffini Show. Jen and Terry, tell everybody where you guys are calling from.
- [30:06]
D
Oh, hey, Brian, we're so excited to be here. We're up in suburb Ontario, Canada.
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A
Beautiful. Yeah, we've had a ton of Canadians so we're loving life right now. So glad to have you guys. What can I do for you? What's one thing I could help you guys with today?
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D
Well, we're, I mean, Brian Buffini have been a part of our business and our success for the last 15 years and thank you for that.
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B
Yeah. Yeah. Well, we're a small team and a small team of four agents and we're pretty happy with that. But we keep getting asked from other agents if they can join our team and we think we have a great dynamic, but we don't want to mess with what we have already. But we were worried about maybe being short sighted and we weren't sure if we should start acting more like a CEO owe and less as a realtor.
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A
Yeah, yeah.
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D
And we're, we're also, you know, we're going to be 54 soon and starting to think about retirement in our mid-60s and, you know, we'd like to, you know, talk about A bit of a succession plan.
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A
Yeah. So let's. Let's dive in. Let me ask you these questions. Jen and Terry. What do you guys like best about the business?
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B
I think it is. You know, it's kind of probably sounds cliche, but probably being with. Helping people and being with our clients and building those relationships, that's they become our friends more than clients once everything's done.
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A
Right. Yeah.
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D
That's why it's hard to step back, because we really enjoy being realtors, you know.
- [31:41]
A
Yeah, well, I'm going to talk to you about that because you don't have to. You don't have to necessarily. You know, it doesn't have to be the cut and dry. And we'll talk through that because we've been around 30 years and we've helped an awful lot of people. You've been with us half that time.
- [31:52]
D
Yeah.
- [31:53]
A
And we've helped an awful lot of people on the journey. You know, when we first started, you probably weren't having these questions. You were having like, where's the next lead come from? Right. Yeah. And you didn't have a team. And, oh, by the way, you're in a market that a lot of people are crying the blues about. That's a tough market. And you guys are here going, how many people do we want to have? So you have a beautiful problem. A dilemma is a choice between two undesirables. You have what's called a smile, Emma, A choice between how many desirables. So here's what I would say. The number one thing is focus on what you do well and do more of that. The second thing is, the more people you have, the more people you have to manage. Now, I would say as a couple, having a team up to six people, you can comfortably continue to sell and handle a team like that. Now, you know, more people, more problems, no doubt about it. But it sounds like what's happened is you become such an attraction in the marketplace that more and more people are interested. So you have the most important thing of all. Remember, we work by referral, so we can create a consistent volume of leads. Then we get to choose who we work with. Right. You've. You've done such a good job with your own personal database, there's times you probably told somebody no over the last 15 years, that'd be fair to say. Yeah, yeah, okay. Well, not every agent does that because they don't have that choice. The same thing with your team, and what you have a chance to do is to be that level of picky and Because I only want to work with people who put a smile on my face. I only want to work with people who really take what I say to heart. Like for me, I, I did a presentation the other day and it was fine, but I had just come from doing a presentation for my members and the members are so with it. They're so with me. They understand I'm not trying to sell them something, I'm trying to get them to do something and they take it and then they go do something. I did this event the other day as a favor and most of these people were just there to be entertained or hear a presentation. And I'm like, I'm not a Vegas act. Like, I'm actually interested in impacting and improving the lives of people. And guess what? I was talking to the wrong audience. And they're all nice people. They just weren't my people. So I would say this. Don't worry about what anyone else says their team should look like. It's very important that you know what your model looks like and where your model is maxed out. For example, if you have a team of 12, you know, salespeople think more is better. Let me tell you, 12 is such a big number that you have to, you certainly have to start thinking about giving up selling and now you're leading and managing and it's a different business. For some people it's fantastic, but for some, it's not their cup of tea. So that's one I think up to six you're fine with. If you have infrastructure for four, you have infrastructure for six. It doesn't mean you should go get six. It means you should be very picky. The second thing is, when you think about a succession plan, are you thinking about family members or someone else? Well, we don't really.
- [35:03]
D
Well, our daughter in law is our marketing manager. She's on maternity leave right now. So, you know, she probably would like to get into the business eventually. And she's actually from Texas and she's a little southern belle and I would love her to join. And my son is in banking and I keep bugging him to come, but right now, no, we don't have a family member to step in.
- [35:26]
A
I'm 30 years years in business and I had my kids join me in the last four months. You follow me?
- [35:30]
B
I know, we're so excited for you.
- [35:32]
A
Yeah, but we. I was never. My goal, my goal was for them to do whatever God put on their heart. So I would just say this part of your succession plan may well be Your team. And I'm going to introduce you to something that we've talked about a long time ago. Who's your coach at the company?
- [35:47]
B
Helen.
- [35:48]
A
Oh, yeah, lovely.
- [35:49]
B
Yeah.
- [35:50]
A
So one of the things we introduce people to is something we call an active retirement. And an active retirement is where you take a step back, but you're still engaged. Now you're doing the transactions for the person you're helping for the third or fourth time. You know those people who've become members of your family. You have the team and the Systems and the SOPs in place and the accounting, the supporting system in such a way that the business is handling the referrals. You're making more money off referral fees now than direct sales. And you have an active retirement, by the way. That's a way to stay young. That's a way to stay young. And it'll allow you to have travel and trips and when it's a little cold and snowy up there, you want to come and hang out with us down in San Diego or Hawaii or somewhere. You can take a little more time and I think that's more what you're looking for. Yeah, you know, the life giving relationships give life. And this business can be the greatest thing in the world. You guys have great energy. You, you, every time I see you, I always recognize the smiles first. And so I will just say to you, as you think about this next stage and you don't have to rush into it tomorrow, you can build an active retirement business with a team that can be your legacy. You could also then have a family member be a part of that team or a leader of that team. Now you've created options for both your business as well as for your family that they're not like, okay, we get to have the burden, we get to have the business, they have that option. And so everything you're doing every day, you keep doing it, keep building it. And as you look at these different people, because it doesn't mean that everyone on your team is going to stay with you forever, someone might retire or stuff happens. So I would encourage you keep being picky, make sure that it's not like, oh, we have to do this. But if you find the right person who's got the right spirit, who will add something to the team and add something to the culture, who knows, five years from now they might be your cornerstone agent who ends up becoming your legacy agent to take on the business long term.
- [37:50]
B
Okay, that's great advice. Thank you.
- [37:53]
A
Appreciate it. Well, you guys have been doing so well. And I just want to encourage you. You're in a market where a lot of people are crying the blues, and you guys have got a wonderful amount of opportunities. And by the way, as much as you're smiling and the great energy, I know it's been a lot of hard work. You've dedicated yourself for a long, long time, and you've done the work that a lot of people are not willing to do. So you earn everything you've got, you've put yourselves in a great position, and I would say continue to make your business as attractive as possible for team members, for customers, and for your.