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A
So are we supposed to start the podcast?
B
Ready, 1, 2, 3.
A
Patriots gay trio they trio black trio, Brown Trio Triple Trumpers can do what off. Welcome to America's Top DEI Podcast Pumps. What have you had it with?
B
What I've had it with is when you're in line and you have to check out and there's no option for self checkout and you have one item and the person right in front of you has a cart full.
A
Yeah.
B
I always say here, go ahead, you only have one item, it's going to be a nothing burger. I sat behind a guy yesterday that not only had a full cart, saw that I only had one thing. He yick yacked for I, I would say a good three or four minutes about the weather, how it's hot in at in the afternoon but it's cold in the morning. And I was just, it was all I could do not to just say all I want to do is buy one fucking thing. Just let me go. So I've had it with people. I don't know if it's a lack of self awareness, maybe I'm just so extra polite and gracious that I expect that from other people. But I've had it when people have a ton of shit to buy and they don't let the person that just has one thing to buy in front of him. That's my hat.
A
That's a really good one. And I've experienced that multiple times. And it's always a man.
B
Always.
A
I don't want to be a man hater. We have a lot of men that watch our show. We're not talking about you guys of course. Mine's kind of similar. I've had it with people that cut in line. Yeah. And this has happened to me a lot lately at airports, boarding. Right. And it's always a couple of guys, little pink arms that kind of like mosey up there and they're just, you know, hot pressed. And I, and I always go like this. I go by all means because they're kind of like angling to get in front of me and it's always some guys and I'm just like, go ahead by all means, jump ahead of me. We're all getting on this bird and it's all going, we're all going to have to get off of this bird. Like, you know, my thing is I, I want to be off of the plane when the flight's over. I want it over, but I'm never in like a super hyper fixated brush to get on it. I want to get on. I want to go with my boarding group, but I've been cut in line recently by a few men, and I just. I guess I. There's a component of me that still values chivalry. Like, men that hold the door open for people that knows. No, you go ahead. I like that. That part of just one gender acknowledging another gender. Not in a power play, not in, like, a. Women are weak, and they should go first. I. It's just something of a traditional thing, and I'm not that traditional of a person that I appreciate. And I think these little pink arms need to be more gracious and say, oh, no, you go ahead. But when I'm standing there saying, by all means, go ahead, and they're like. And they have their little dorky backpack and just steamroll beyond me. I've had it.
B
Well, and here's the deal on the plane, and it. It's. I feel like it's always in an airport, but it's like, we're all going to the same place. We all have an assigned seat. Like, I don't know what your hurry is. Here's the thing. I just noticed today. It's weird that you said that about chivalry, because I was on an elevator, and it dinged, and we were getting out, and it was just me and a man in there, and he's like, go ahead. And I was just like, isn't that nice? I just. I appreciated that. And maybe it's our age, I don't know.
A
But I just found my boys do that, I think. My boy.
B
Oh, yeah, for sure. You know, never walk, never open a door, and you go first when there's a woman behind you, especially.
A
But I also tell them, even if it's. If you get to the door and somebody's behind you, and if it's a male, let me work. Like, especially if it's a woman. But I also say, if there's a guy coming right behind you and you've grabbed the door, just be a gentleman to both genders and let the person go ahead, do the pay it forward kind of thing. Put that out into the universe that you are, you know, not entitled, not extra, not better. That you're a helper, because there's takers and helpers around us. There's people that take, take, take, and then there's people that help. And so these little cutters and the guy that was bogarting the checkout line, those are takers. Take or just taking?
B
Yeah, always taking. Yep. All right.
A
Welcome to. I've had it. I'm Jennifer.
B
I'm Angie Hbic. Actually, you know what we haven't said in a long time? Princess Diana of podcasting. That was in the OG days.
A
Yeah, that was good. All right, Kylie is here. Let's check in with Kylie. There she is. She looks very cute today. I like your little T. Thank you.
C
As a lesbian, I have to say I also pay attention and really appreciate a man holding the door open. I kind of expect it. I don't know if it's like where we're from. I don't know what it is.
A
Right.
C
But I know if they don't and I think they're a huge asshole.
A
So let me tell you what, Let me tell you what. I've experienced a lot lately since I moved to New York. So I'm a door holder. I'm a helper. So I get to the door of like, say my gym and I open the door and then when I notice there's somebody behind me, it's a guy. And normally, like, if my kids did this, I would fucking pinch the shit out of their arm. I would want it to produce a bruise. They just go right on in and said, no, no, no, by all means, like you go first. And they just, they just let me hold the door for them. They let me carry the water. I've counted like five so far.
B
You've got a tracker?
A
Yeah, I'm doing some research. I'm conducting research on this subject. But it just reminds me the next time I see my sons, I'm going to really, I'm not even FaceTime them tonight and just I think I might do a preemptive ash chew. Yeah, just like, I don't know if you do this or not. You know, everybody's had their mom. I don't know if you do this or not, but I'm going to go ahead and chew your ass for it anyway. Here's what you've got to do. I like a preemptive ashu.
B
Now let me ask you this, Jennifer. When you chew ass for your kids, like if I chew one of my kids ass, I just make a clean sweet. Whether I'm mad at the other ones. I just bring everybody in and I pick something. Like if I'm in the ashtray mood. So like if you get mad at one, do you just go ahead and spray on the other one or do you isolate it?
A
No, I don't. I don't spray it because I save my anger for the big stuff. So they know, like, it's not like, oh, Mom's unhinged all the time. Blah, blah, blah. It's rare. It's rare that I'm sitting them down and chewing their ass. It has to be something big. Anything else I can handle with a conversation calmly, you know, reasonably. But when one of them is in trouble, I will go hard, relentless, annoying. Like, if they're probably just sitting there going, shut the fuck up. So much so that the other child so enjoys it. Like, if the younger one's in trouble, the older one will call and go, so, like, how. How long did you chew him out for? It's like that sibling rivalry of joy where, you know, like, because you've been on the receiving end of it, but you're not, and you're just. You're elated with joy that your sibling is going through just a torturous experience with the mother that you share. So, no, I don't. I think I've looped them in one time together. And I remember. I think it was the older one, and he was like, I didn't do anything wrong. And I was like, fair. You're Exactly. I think that was the only time I did it, because I really want my kids to know that when I'm unhinged, it's warranted.
B
Yeah, I. I'm pretty much like, if I start with one, I just get all of them.
A
Take them all down.
B
Take them all down. Just for shits and wiggles.
C
It's.
A
It's. It's. There's something I don't know. My boys are so well receptive. Like, they immediately tuck their tail between the. Their legs.
B
Yeah.
A
There's apology, there's contrition. They don't back talk at all. And so I've been very fortunate in that regard. But, you know, it's kind of. It's kind of fun sometimes to chew your kids out.
B
Yeah, I agree.
C
Okay. I've got some reviews today. A few gentlemen and a few. The first one five stars. The cool kid writes, my husband named his coffee grinder Little Grinder.
A
Jennifer.
B
You need to get merch grinders.
A
I've got. Everybody always asks me, I got on these podcasts, like, where do you come up with these Nick's names? I'm like, I didn't plan it beforehand. It just comes out when we're talking. We speak extemporaneously on both podcasts. And I just. It just comes to me, like, the cankles, McTaco tits and all that.
C
Yeah.
A
Sorry, guys. I'm taking off my shoes. Listener. All right, go ahead, Kylie.
C
This One is five stars titled Can I get an Amen? An artisan partisan writes, this is exactly what we need in Trump's America 2.0, especially in the year of our Lord 2020, 26.
A
You do it so much now when we're streaming, like, for I hip news. And I can see, even though Kylie's not on the stage with us, I can see her backstage. And you do it and I'll just kind of chuckle. And I look down and Kylie's just sitting there, like, bouncing up and down, laughing.
B
I don't even do it. And here's the thing. You brought it to my attention, and now I stumble over it and make it 50,000 times worse.
A
I have been doing that since I brought it to your attention. I too have. Have questioned. So it's affecting me and. But there's a lot of stuff that I, like, mispronounce. I've noticed it. I don't know if it's contagious and I'm sorry. I've noticed. I've had some verbal ticks lately of stuff that I. I'm like, oh, my God, pumps of herbal tics are infecting me. Or maybe I've had it the whole time and I was just a sanctimonious pointed out in pumps, but didn't ever acknowledge it in me. But I'm trying to be more aware.
C
I will throw shit out really casually without even knowing it, and people will be like, what the did you just say? I think I said, what's your crazier than a shithouse rat? That just came out of my mouth in a conversation. I was like, I have absorbed all of your sayings.
B
Yeah.
C
Okay, I've got one last reveal. This is one star titled. You can't fix stupid. And Thane. Right. You cannot help people who refuse it. Just keep moving. Although in this case, send an exorcist to the show if you know one.
A
You can't fix stupid. We. I understand. Like, it's a really good review, but the thing is, like, there's no. There's been no effort in trying to fix this. Each and every episode is an affirmation of our stupidity. Like, there's no desire to go, okay, today we're going to try to undumb ourselves. Every day we get on and go, We've got the wind at our backs. Let's go.
B
I'd argue part of our stupid has made the podcast popular. To be said.
C
Okay, I've got a couple news stories for you guys. This one's rather alarming to Me, nearly a third of kids can't use books when starting school. And they tried to swipe them like phones. And it goes on to say that they're also trying to tap them and swipe them.
A
That's disturbing. That's really sad.
B
I don't. I mean, but now, like, textbooks and stuff are pretty much online. Like, we would have to go to the bookstore and buy a physical book, but now they can just download them to their iPads or computers or whatever. But I've said on this podcast before, my kids cannot tell time like, on a clock. They've never had to say, like, it's five minutes past two on a clock. They just look at their phone. So this doesn't really surprise me.
A
Yeah, that's. That's, that's really sad. I. When my kids were little, and they, of course, are zoomers, but I. We read books every night, like, physical books. I crawled in bed with them and we read books. I'm like, good night, moon. All that shit I still have memorized, because I would have to read the same books over and over and over again. Yeah, the cell phones are such a problem. Some other countries are starting to ban social media. Age 16, I think Spain, France, Australia, and I think that's a really great thing to do. When my kids were, they went to one particular school from preschool to eighth grade, and there was total phone ban. If they saw you at school with your phone, it got put into a safe at the front desk, and only your parents could come pick it up after school. Like a total phone ban. And they made great grades. They were super into, like, more creative stuff. Like, my youngest son would always sit at our kitchen island. He was drawing things, painting things. Just like, uber, uber, uber creative. And then by the time they went to high school, the high school had, like, given up. And it's a different school than the other one, and you could have your phones everywhere. And I asked my kids, like, is it better without or with phones? And they're like a million times better without. But then when everybody has one, right? Then you. You don't want to be the one that's left out. But the overall schooling experience, learning experience is a million times better without.
B
No, I agree with that.
C
I just have to interrupt to throw back to a past episode where I signed up to be a local candidate for the Democratic Party.
B
Oh, yeah?
C
Yeah. I've gotten seven texts. They're going to send me a packet on what I need to know to get started. They just wait.
A
For real?
C
Yeah. I don't Know what this is, but.
B
Did you respond to the text?
C
Yeah, I responded to the text and said, I'll do it.
A
I'll do it. So now what did they say?
C
Now they're just sending me, like, hey, it's Alex with this. This thing. And we're ready to send you, like, what? It's going to take the description of what's involved all of this stuff.
B
So, Kylie, you might be running Profit.
A
Remember that girl that was the commenter, though? Remember her? She was like, she hated us, but she gave us, us five stars. I want to run her.
C
Yeah.
A
I want to be our campaign manager.
B
The one that said we weren't as unattractive as she thought we were going to be.
A
Yeah, love. It's my favorite review of all time.
B
Yeah, that's a good one because it.
A
Was a hate review and she really ripp and it was almost like Psalm on the five. And so I had to go see what it was all about. It really sucked.
D
But.
A
I forgot what her name was. A Karen or something. I don't know. I loved it.
C
It was something like that.
B
Kathy, it was a very thoughtful review.
A
I loved it.
C
Okay, I've got one more news story. I think this could come in handy in America with MAGA these days. It says in Japan you can rent actors to pose as your family or friends for social events. In Japan, a growing offers rented family members actors who take on roles like spouses, parents, children, or co workers. This service isn't about trickery, but rather coping with social pressure. People turn to these actors to sidestep stigma, impress employers, or fill emotional voids. For a fee, you can have an ideal family portrait, a supportive partner at a wedding, or a caring parent or at graduation, all carefully staged to feel genuine.
B
You see movies about this all the time. Like somebody's going back to a wedding or something, and they're not dating anybody and they rent somebody and then they fall madly in love with the person they. They rented with the person they rented. So I don't know, like, if that makes you feel better, like, whatever, I guess.
A
I mean, here's the thing. I wish that these articles were being written about our country right now. Like, I envy Japan that they're writing. Like, here's, you know, their government so stable that here's what people are doing there. You know, I haven't heard any headlines about Japanese people being shot by their government in the streets for protesting. And so I envy this type of story to be something that could be written about Americans. And instead it's written that, you know, we don't have health care and we're the richest country on the planet. We have a complete. As president, I mean, a completely embarrassing, fat out of shape, horrible makeup, dementia, just total piece of shit, not even smart, no president, con man, you know, and it's just, I. I envy that that's an option in a country where you're so stable. It's like, you know what? I kind of want to rent a person for this event. And you know what? Here's the thing, too. I am oftentimes disappointed in the people that I know when I go to social events, because we plan together Irish exits, and we're in lockstep on the way there. It is agreed. It is agreed upon. And oftentimes my date for these things is even more enthusiastic about the Irish exit than I am. Even more boundary strong. Like, I'm going to tell you what, when I'm ready to go, you better be ready to go. And I mean it. And I'm like, I'm in. I mean, the minute I will Irish exit the fuck out of this thing. Lo and behold, this really close personal friend of mine that I have a business relationship with as well, we go to these events together and she says, okay, let's go. And I go, okay. And then I'm at the door and I'm outside freezing my tits off in the cold, and somebody's walking around saying goodbye to everybody, which is not a part of the Irish exit. And then we're knee deep into stuff. So I understand. I would do this. I would rent a person who I could say, when I say it's time to go, it's time to go. I'm paying you, you have to go. And they would say. And I would be like, yes. And that would be it. And so for multiple reasons, I won't name the person that I'm talking about, but it happens a lot. Kylie, have I ever told you about it?
C
You have? Yeah.
A
I'm getting better. I say I'm getting better.
B
I'm probably not. I'm probably not. I mean, I'm probably just, you know, blowing smoke up my own ass because I'm really bad at it. I'm bad at it and I want to be good at it. You do? Is there.
A
You do? Because we start out the night, you're like, listen up, Jenny. I mean it. I. It's 7:45. We are leaving. Do not go. Talk to extra people. No goodbyes, we're going to the bathroom. We're getting the out. And I'm like, hey, I'm not the problem here. I'm on board. You're like, no, I'm serious this time. And then it happens. And then I keep kind of like looking around, you know, around the door and each time you're at a different person. I think one time I actually just came and like grabbed your arm. Like, we have to go.
B
Because I immediately apologize. Like, I'm so sorry I keep doing this. I hope that I did in that moment.
A
To me. Yeah, like, no, you apologize to the people you were talking to.
B
Well, yeah, but that I didn't.
A
It was a great idea. I like, I like where your head's at though.
B
No, but I mean, like, we make this plan every time. I it up every time. It's like, I can't even help it.
A
You can't.
B
I can't. So I'm gonna go ahead and just.
A
Here's the thing. Apology. Here's the thing that I have a new. I've had it.
B
Okay?
A
I have had it with pumps acting like she's had it with small talk. It is a bald faced lie that is affirmed all of the time. You know it's true.
C
We can't forget when.
B
Here's the thing. I've had it with small talk, but that doesn't mean I'm not good at it. Like, I have this event I have to go to in two weeks and I'm already dreading it because I know it's just going to be a small talk fest. Like I just, when I said I'd go, I was like, I just fucking hate small talk. I And here.
A
Oh, you'll be the belle of the ball.
B
I will be the bell of the ball. I'll be the small talkiest. I'll be the last one to leave. I don't know why I torture myself. Why can't I just say. I fucking just admit it.
A
Just come out of the closet. Come out of the closet. Quit getting on our podcast and telling our listener that you've had it with small talk.
B
I'm the worst because I really do hate it. I hate it.
C
We can't forget when we went to. The three of us were at a lunch. We were so tired. We had been traveling and we said, let's make this. Let's make it really, really quick.
A
Whose idea was it to make it quick?
C
It was Angela. Don's the waiter comes over, mentions one thing about his family and she said, oh my God. Start from the beginning about your father in law and tell us everything while he's standing there. And we're trying to eat. And he did.
A
Yeah. Yeah. Way to sit there through that.
B
No, it's true. I knew. I was so hoping. I thought I'd got out scot free with that story. Because that is the worst example. That is the most egregious example of me doing that. Because we were dead to the world. Tired. But, Kylie, thanks. Thanks for bringing that up. I was this close. Nope. Yeah. It's bad. I don't know what to say. It's bad.
A
Here's. Here's what it. Here's what it is. It wouldn't be a thing if you didn't lie and say that you hate small talk.
B
Here's the thing. I do hate it. But that doesn't mean you don't do it.
A
I don't. I kind of think you kind of don't hate it.
B
You think I like it?
A
I do.
B
I just don't know it.
A
That's the problem. Therein lies the problem. I think if you just woke up, like, tomorrow morning would be a great time to do it. You woke up and you looked in the mirror and you're like, hi, I'm Angela dawn and I love small talk. Try that. And then let's go to another event. And then I will take the bull by the horns and I'll say, listen, I know you love small talk. I know that when you see a person and you're not even remotely interested in their kids or their husband, you find yourself compulsively talking to them. But I don't want you to do that. I want you to leave when I need to leave, because I hate small talk. And let's see if that works once you come out of denial.
B
Maybe like the reverse psychology.
A
That's what I'm thinking.
B
Yeah, it might, because then I'd be trying to prove it. Okay, that's a good tip.
A
This podcast is supported by FX's Love Story, John F. Kennedy Jr. And Carolyn Bessette. The new limited series from executive producer Ryan Murphy. It explores the complex courtship of the iconic couple considered to be American royalty, whose love story captured the attention of the nation. Their fairytale romance would unfold in front of the public eye, where their private love would also become a national obsession. FX's love story, John F. Kennedy Jr. And Carolyn Bessette. Watch now on FX, Hulu and Hulu on Disney for bundle subscribers. All right, listener. When Pumps and I started this podcast a little over three years ago, we absolutely had no idea what we were doing as it pertained to the business setting up merch stores setting up a structure of the business and that's why Shopify was invaluable. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like Thrive Cosmetics, Gymshark and Aviator Nation. Get started with your own design studio. With hundreds of ready to use templates, Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store that matches your brand style. And did I mention that iconic purple shop pay button that you used by millions of businesses around the world. It's why Shopify has the best converting checkout on the planet. It also helps boost conversions meaning less carts going abandoned and more sales for you. It's time to turn those what ifs into with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial@shopify.com had it. Go to shopify.com had it. That's shopify.com had it.
C
I've got some voice memos for you guys today. And up first we've got one from gaytrit Ron.
D
Love that Kylie and Seth the di hired. This is gay trit Ron Hgic head gay in charge of the great city of Syracuse. And I've had it with proud stupidity. I was in a conversation the other day and this person says, why did God make the world so difficult? And I go, well, God didn't make the world. And the relentless denial of easily verifiable information begins. It gets to a point where I'm explaining in very simple terms what evolution is. And this person with a full chest dares to utter, well, I've never seen a baby monkey become a human and start working. What? What in the Bible thumping, DNA rewriting, chromosomal rearranging, metamorphosis. Is that come the fuck on? And I was like, you know what? I might as well call Sweden and demand my Nobel prize because I think I might have discovered the first specimen. This is breathing, walking and very loudly talking proof that the only thing that has ever trickled down is stupidity. Jennifer's right again. I love you guys. I need a matcha latte after this. Love you.
A
Number one, love the accent. Two, I have a fondness for Syracuse. It's where my oldest son went to college. Number three, a hundred percent, the trickle down stupidity is such a problem. And my thing about evolution, I just had this conversation with somebody the other day. All of us that acknowledge that evolution is real, we can no longer use the language of I believe in evolution because you don't have to quantify and say I believe in gravity. You don't have to say that.
B
Right.
A
Evolution is not up for debate. Evolution exists whether you believe in it or not. That's the thing. Like, people can sit there and try to disprove it and do their own research, but evolution is proven whether you believe in it or not. And so we need to, number one, keep calling out the stupid people for this. But number two, I've been in a conversation with somebody about the monkey thing before too, and it's, it's insane that they, their fundamental misunderstanding of evolution and how it, how many thousands slash millions of years it takes for these variants to happen. But indeed they do happen.
B
Happen. Yeah. And I kind of felt sorry for you when he was talking because you, you have been ron. With me. You know what I mean? Like, so I kind of.
A
Monkey conversation was with you.
B
Right, But I'm just saying, like, I get it. And you just. The, the ability to shut off critically thinking and the cognitive dissonance that I grew up in, it really is mind blowing. It really is.
A
Because you know what's hilarious?
B
What?
A
So we had this conversation and it was you and your daughter. And I think we, we're talking about chimpanzees. And I said, you know, it's amazing when you see them at the zoo and you can get right up on the glass with them, you can see how human they are. The little, the wrinkles, like in the finger, index finger, they have the same kind of wrinkles. And I said that to you and Emily and you go, oh my God, no. Every time I see a monkey, I 100% know we didn't evolve from them. And that, that's bullshit. And you and Emily both just like rolled your eyes at me like I was a crazy person.
B
You know what's interesting about that conversation is I remember that. And I knew when I was saying it I was lying to myself.
A
You did?
B
Yes. I knew. I remember that conversation very vividly.
A
I remember too. Was it the house that you live in right now?
B
Because it was. I think I knew that it was, but I just felt like I had to say it.
A
You had the script. That's fascinating. Yeah.
B
Isn't that funny because it wasn't that.
A
Long, maybe like seven years ago, because I think you told me you had kind of deconstructed your faith. Probably right around Covid, like 5, 20, 19.
B
It was after my dad died, and he died in August of 2019.
A
But you waited a while before you told me.
B
No.
A
You didn't tell anybody and your therapist told you to tell Somebody. So of course you called the atheist, right? Yeah, but I think that was 20. I know exactly where I was when you did it. I was in my office building. I didn't buy it until August of 2020. So you were a closet atheist for two years?
B
Yeah, because it was just, it sounds. No, it doesn't sound ridiculous because people that. When it's something that like, that was how my whole life was.
A
I mean, I must have had so much grief.
B
I had so much grief and I felt like first of all. And it's kind of embarrassing.
A
No, don't be embarrassed.
B
You know what I mean? Not really. That's not the number one. But it's, it's just there was so much grief and there was so much separation from, you know, people in my family that I realized was there. So. So even though it's it in my head intellectually, it was a pretty easy thing in terms of verbalizing it. That took a lot longer.
A
I'm just really. This is the first time you've ever told me about the monkey conversation. Right. But I'd forgotten about it too, till our caller, our gay trio told us and then it triggered that. But what's so interesting about that is we'd had a lot of conversations prior to, to that, you and me, where I was, you know, in the scientific data based world of it, and your worldview was biblical. And you'd roll your eyes at me and I'd kind of roll my eyes at you and they would realize, okay, we can't talk about this, and we'd move on. It's interesting timing wise because I bet that was around 2018, 2019 when we had that conversation. It's interesting that you remember that and that you knew, like, this is right.
B
Like I'm living a lie kind of.
A
That's wild. Yeah, because. Yeah, I remember it really distinctly. That's a really good caller. That's a really good. And that's a good reveal from you. Pumps like, tell our listener about the grief. Because my mom, when you first called me and told me you weren't religious anymore, first of all, I fell over because you were the most religious friend I had. I couldn't believe it. So of course I called my mother immediately, like, mom, you're never gonna believe this. Angie just called me and told me she didn't believe in God or heaven. And my mom was so compassionate and she'd read all about this. She said, well, you know, Jennifer, she's going to have a lot of grief because it's like a Death of something.
B
Right.
A
She had in her life that was, you know, ubiquitous from birth on. And it's a whole process, like the grieving process, that she's going to go through with this. She was right. Yeah. So tell us about the grief, first.
B
Of all, you know, obviously being indoctrinated religiously, it's really easy for me to, you know, put cognitive dissonance and denial and put stuff in boxes and compartmentalize and all that. So that's how you kind of do it for a while, and then it's like the rug gets pulled out from under you because it's like everything from birth to, you know, decades into my life, that was something that I leaned on and that was supposed to fix everything. And so. And then I think, what more than that? Because I had begun to realize, you know, before I started really deconstructing my faith, I realized that prayer was not a dependable coping mechanism. Like, I had realized that. But I think what it is, for me, anyway, it was, you know, kind of like you're walking in a field and you don't know where you're going. Like you're in a labyrinth. You don't know where to go, and you're not sure you'll get out, but you. You've got to try. And then I also think, for me, the biggest thing was that was something that was so ingrained in my family. That's what bound our family together. And it was so prevalent every day, all of those things, and I knew that it would put distance between myself and my family. So it was guilt for that and grief for that. But then it was a choice that I. I have to do this for me. Like, I've done this for you forever and ever and ever. And I've been a good foot soldier, done everything I was supposed to do, and. But I kind of. I mean, I hate. I don't want to be like, oh, I had to choose me, kind of cliche, but it was just like, but I have to choose this for me. And there's just a lot of grief about the family thing, because by the time I actually started deconstructing it, I.
A
Knew a lot of it was bullshit. Right.
B
It was the family ties, I think the most.
A
Well, and, I mean, this is my observation, and you can confirm if this is true or not, but my observation of your family ties, I've never seen a human being more scared of their family. The terror in which you felt towards being a certain scripted way that they wanted you to be. I'd never Seen an adult so terrified of their parents. I mean, this is well into your 40s. And I was like, you're a grown ass woman. Why are you so scared of your mom and dad? But it was a sheer like, you.
B
Know, like junior high, like shaking inside my body. Yes. My mom caught me smoking. I came to your house and you gave me a hug and you're like, you're physically shaking the rat.
A
I've never, I'd never seen anything like it. So that would have to exacerbate the fear because the, the, the fear based part of your religion was, that was very pronounced. It was a very fear based heaven, hell, reward thing. Yeah. But you know what I have to say now, knowing you for, you know, all of those years, religious and not religious now, you're a lot less scared.
B
I think your, your feet are so much more firmly planted when you're not putting all that magical thinking in and when you're critically thinking and you can like look at consequences. And here's the deal, and I'm accountable and I think I, I feel a lot better internally.
A
I'm so glad. I'm so glad.
B
So, yeah, Jennifer was my first call, but I was crying.
A
You were. I felt. I. And I remember, I. That's why I called my mom immediately. Because I knew, I mean, like that your, I mean, your identity was your faith. I mean, it was very much your identity. And I was shocked. Oh my God, listener. I mean, you could have blown me over with a feather. She was like, I've got something to tell you. And we've had many phone calls throughout our friendship where it's like, I have something major to tell you. And they've all been major things.
B
Right.
A
Never in 25 million years would I think I would have ever gotten a call from Angela. Dawn was an atheist. Like, I cannot. She was relentless about inviting me to Bible study in the first part of our friendship. And I finally had to be like, stop inviting me. I'm never gonna go. She's like, okay, well, we just, we want you to be on our team. I was like, don't want to be. And then we were able to agree to disagree and went on recruiting. Oh God, the recruiting. But I just never. I was so shocked. I was such. And I know to this day. And what's funny is we weren't, we were friends. Obviously we weren't day to day today, like we have been, you know, and listener, you go through phases with friends where you talk five times a day and then you go through a few months where you only talk three or four, especially been friends 25 years. We weren't day to day talking. So when she called me and she said she had major news, I knew it was major news. I mean, I thought it was like, I mean, I don't know what I thought it was like, you know, somebody was pregnant, you know, somebody got knocked up, something major. I just never, ever, ever thought that, ever.
B
Was your mouth open because we weren't talking?
A
I was. No, I remember exactly where I was. I remember exactly what I was looking at. And when I had to call my mom because my mother had predicted when we were first friends, because you were so religious and I was so not religious. And the thing that bugged me about you was your religiosity. Like, I talked to mom, go, I really like her, but she's total Bible thumper. Like, she always wanted me to go to Bible study. Her family's kind of nuts. They're always like, praise Jesus, God is good. When I'm just over there. They're like really, really, really religious. And my mother would say, well, you know, Jennifer, as you age, people tend to get more religious, not less. So I imagine your friendship will, you know, recede as you get older. And it was the opposite. Like, I never thought, but I always knew. Like, one thing I really liked about hanging out with you is you were very smart. And I always believed that you were a critical thinker. And those of you that are listening, that happen to be religious right now. That's not what Angie was. Angie was. The earth is 5,000 years old. Evolution, there's no such thing. Spiritual warfare, devils and angels. Now, she wasn't an annoying. She came up a lot in our friendship because she was worried about my soul. But I was able to draw boundaries with her. And when push came to shove in her life when she had serious, serious problems, it was me, the atheist that she reached out to because she knew that it was a judgment free zone.
B
Right.
A
With me, as opposed to the religious friends.
B
And I will say this, and this is absolutely true, which is why I know that just having little micro conversations with people changes people. I remember we had talks about like how old Moses was and Noah.
A
It was Noah, right?
B
I mean, we would have those little. And I would be like, I would defend it. You know, it's just little cuts that I would like later think about. So I know when you have even the smallest conversation, if you can kind of, you know, just a little bit of reality and if you. It makes people think, I mean, and.
A
Here'S the thing I'm gonna say, like there's, there's no desire on my part or I don't think I'm pumped to convert uber religious people to not being religious. That's not the point of this conversation. Where, where this intersects with what's happening nationally right now is the people who have this black and white worldview, Heaven, hell, demon, spiritual warfare, exorcist, all this crazy. Right. Are completely different than like people that are Christian light, that have this private pr. Prayerful spiritual moments in their life that have nothing to do with anybody else. And it's completely separated from their belief or observations of scientific facts. It's the larger point that this is a cult like thinking. It's definitely like this compulsive cult like thinking that happens to have been co opted by this political party.
B
Right.
A
That's where like, because I don't really. Christians have the strong desire to recruit other people as an atheist. I don't have any desire for anybody else to, to be an atheist. Now I have to say within that my least favorite people to hang out with are overtly religious Bible thumpers. It drives me crazy. Much like you talked in the last episode. Pumps red Blast. God is good. It's a God thing. It's just because to me, I'm just going to just put a sock in it with the magical thinking. I've had it.
B
Yeah, well. And I also think like, and I think it's like the non smoker now judges smokers.
A
Yeah, yeah.
B
With me for sure. But one thing, it's like if, if you draw peace from it and it makes you feel better, I'm all for it.
A
Yeah.
B
But if your actions are so hateful and demean other people, I think you have to look inward.
A
If you do it, you use religion to justify it. Right, Right. And use religion as both a weapon and a shield. Yeah. All right, listener. A new season. A President's Day sale completely on the horizon. I cannot share with you enough how much I love the products from Irestore. They absolutely include products for your hair. If you're dealing with thinning, shedding, or if you just want fuller, healthier hair. The Irestore Elite is one of the easiest routine upgrades you can make. And with their President's Day sale, it's happening right now. It's truly the best time to try it. It's an at home device that uses 300 lasers and 200 LEDs to deliver targeted light therapy to your scalp. And it's clinically proven to help regrow hair and the best part is how effortless it is. You just pop it on a few times a week while you're doing liter anything, watching tv, journaling, listening to this podcast, scrolling whatever your routine likes, you can integrate this product in with it. They also have advanced hair growth formula, thickening shampoo and conditioner growth activator serum and so much more. And right now, if you've been waiting for the right time to upgrade your hair routine, the president's day sale is it. Irestore is offering big savings right now with the code hattit@irestore.com you'll get an exclus exclusive discount on the Irestore elite. That's code. Had it@irestore.com Please support our show and tell them that we sent you Give your hair the upgrade it's been waiting for. All right. My two little French bulldogs, Tubby and Chacha are the apple of my eye. My little darlings and I, there's nothing, nothing on the planet that I wouldn't do for them. And so their health and their care is a priority for me. And so just a quick message from today's sponsor, the ASPCA Pet Health Insurance Program. These days, we insure just about everything. Our cars that lose value the second we drive them. Phones we trade in every two years or less. And trips we haven't taken yet. But our pets. These things are truly, truly irreplaceable. They often go unprotected. With ASPCA pet health insurance, you can get help with unexpected vet bills and make sure your dog or cat gets the care they need when they need it. When you enroll in an ASPCA pet health insurance plan, you could get a $25Amazon gift card. It's a little treat for you while you're doing something great for your pet. It's been around for almost 20 years and has covered nearly 1 million pets in that time. Because big vet bills never show up when it's convenient, do they? So listener to Explore coverage, visit ASPCA pet petinsurance.com had it. That's ASPCA pet insurance.com had it. Eligibility restrictions apply. Visit ASPcapetinsurance.com Amazonterms for more info. This is a paid advertisement. Insurance is underwritten by either Independence American Insurance Company or United States Fire Insurance Company and produced by PTZ Insurance Agency Ltd. The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance.
C
Okay, up next, we've got Kyle.
D
Good morning, Kylie. I just had to leave you a Quick voice memo. I think the girls that I've had it. I have a new term for you guys. I can't take credit for it, but I did find it on the Internet somewhere and I don't know where. But moving forward, I personally and I think all of you guys should refer to the mega women, your kids, Candace Owens, Erica Kirks, all them as the twatsies they are. Full on Twatzis. It's honestly my new favorite term. I've been using it the entire week. Big fan. I get a lot of reactions. And yeah, that's my new term this week. I think you should adopt it. Love you guys.
A
Bye, love you back. And the Twatzis, I mean that's such. And here's a prime example. Here's the Twatzis. Here's a prime example. They use their faith as a weapon to weaponize against people that were raised like pumps. That has the ability to critically think. She's an attorney, did everything that the Christians in her life scripted for her to do. And it led you to a road of despair. No money, no escape route, torture. I mean not that you were physically tortured, but psychologically and emotionally, God, you went through it. And their message in the name of religion is so dangerous for women because I just don't believe that these women are religious. I think it's a cult and I think you pumps, I think you were kind of in a cult.
B
Well, Ann, I think when I taking a bird's eye view from it, I look at you, can't criticize it. Well, that's earmark of a cult. And what bothers me the most now, like of all the things that bothers me even more than somebody telling me to have a blessed day. The way that the misogyny and the sexism, it's so internalized. It's just a part of it that bothers me the most because I was straight down the fairway with all of that and it was me that had to take control of my life. A man is what was like taking my life to. You know what I mean? Like so to sit there and act like women should be trad wives and submit to their husbands. It's like what if your husband's a complete freak and up everything to a spectacular five star nuclear meltdown on an hourly basis, then what happens? You don't leave people with a choice. You've got them in a trapped situation. And that's kind. That's how I felt and that's my lived experience. So that bothers me the most of all of it. When Fox News and Jesse Waters get on there and they demean women. And I'm like, there are women sitting in there that feel so trapped.
A
Yeah.
B
And do not feel empowered to leave. And I've been that person, so I always. That's what drives me the craziest. So twat Cs. I'm all in. Although I think that's too nice. If you said it, I would be happier because it always brings me just. Just the biggest. I get so tickled every time. You're just like, da, da. She's a twat. Like, out of nowhere. That's like my favorite thing ever.
A
Okay, I have Googled and I have an AI overview of the signs of a cult. Are you ready to go through?
B
Okay.
A
Okay. Charismatic and authoritarian leader. A leader who claims supreme knowledge, demands unquestioning obedience, lacks accountability, and often seeing themselves as above moral standards. I would say this resembles not only the church you were in, but also the family structure.
B
100%. 100%.
A
Next up is isolation. Members are pressured to cut ties with family and friends, who are seen as threats, making the group the sole source of support. How many times did your parents tell you not to hang out with me?
B
Well, and not just you in my. But when I was kids, too. I mean, a hundred. But like, even when as. As a child, you know, don't run around with that kind of thing.
A
All right, here's another one. Thought control, critical thinking, questioning and dissent, or forbidden. Members are taught to use specific phrases or slogans to shut down doubts.
B
Yeah, I mean, it's check, check, check, check, check.
A
Fear and guilt. Fear of the outside world. Divine punishment or shunning is used to keep members in line. Members often say they were, quote, never good enough, which is what I talk about a lot, that they. They keep. Evangelical Christianity keeps my peers and you. It was always this. This real. I couldn't understand it. Like, you know, I'm just really working on my relationship with God and, you know, I need to do things that please him, and I'm just like, when I just wake up and I'll be an asshole and see if that fits into that thing. But it was always this, like, made up extra things that. That you all had to do to be right because you weren't inherently born good enough. Could you imagine the first time I heard. And I mean, no indoctrination at all. The first time I heard, like, the whole. So you were born bad. God made you, and he made you bad. You were a bad baby.
B
Right?
A
And the only way that you can get better is to get rid of sin is to accept Jesus, his son, who he sent on a suicide mission. And I'm just like, that's it though.
B
What, what it is?
A
I'm just like, what?
B
Like.
A
But also his son is him and he's the son.
B
That was like a tr. I was like, what?
A
I mean, I was just. I remember like this, I had that my very first boyfriend. He was so. They were so serious to recruit me and my other friends. I'd kind of ask them questions about it and they were like, want to tongue talk and do weird shit, right? Well, my very first boyfriend. And of course, you know, your first boyfriend you're so in love with, right? So in love religious. And I remember them talking about like how you're born bad and you're born a sinner. And I had never heard such a thing like that you're born in here. I mean, I kind of. My parents didn't say you're born great, but I was inherently taught to kind of see the goodness in people.
B
Right.
A
And that, that being bad was kind of a choice, like a conscious choice and that you needed to choose the light. Right. So when I first started hearing all this and then what the, the suicide trip, the suicide mission, and then like the Father, Son, Holy Spirit, but it's all the same. And then here's the thing too, that got me. I was told God knows this is a recruiting technique. Right. For somebody who's zero indoctrination. God knows you before you're born. He knows exactly what.
B
Yes.
A
Throughout your whole life and then he knows where if you're going to heaven or hell. And I'm like, then why the are we doing all this?
B
Yeah, I remember asking my mom as a, a child, like I don't know how old I was, but I was old enough to remember. So let's say middle schoolish, 11:10, 11:12. Well, I coming home from church and I was like, so if a baby dies before they can make a conscious decision, are they going to go to hell? And it. She didn't say yes, but she kind of fudged around it. And I remember thinking that's, I mean.
A
As a child the baby was going to hell.
B
No, she couldn't bring herself to say that, but it was more like, well, there's kind of an exception or a carve out. Because when you point blank ask someone like is a baby going to hell that dies of a health complication at birth? You know what I mean? That's Kind of. But I remember having that conversation with her and I could tell that the answer was yes, but it just. As she was saying it, it just was so bad that she backtracked and made a carve out. I can't remember what the carve out was, but I remember because I just remember thinking. Because every time it would come up after that, the born bad stuff, I remember thinking about that.
A
That. Okay, here's some more. Us versus them mentality, unique, exclusive truth. Girl.
B
Put my face on that.
A
Lack of transparency, loss of individuality, constant pressure to perform, shunning of former members. I see. I think it's a cult. I just. I 100% think white evangelical Christianity is a cult.
B
Well, I mean, if we're judging by that and the behavior and you can't question. I mean, like, I. Where's the.
A
I also think it's cool for me to start saying, this is my friend Angie. She used to be in a cult. I think.
C
Yeah.
B
Because I was making fun of Jenny Thomas the other day because Clarence Thomas's wife used to be an occult. Now she's super maga. And then I thought, well, can I really throw stones at Jenny Thomas? Obviously I can because she's a lunatic. But I did think I did have that.
A
Thought you did.
B
Did. I did.
A
So you kind of feel like it was a cult.
B
Yeah, there were. There were definitely parts of it that were culty.
A
You know what. So.
C
But we.
A
No, no, of course not. Because I have a friend, our mutual friend, and she has this. She's really cool and she's a Christian. Like, she is, I think, like Methodist or something. But she's like very woke. Very progressive. But she has this like, really beautiful sense of faith. And we've talked about it, and I'm just like, I think it's fucking crazy.
B
Liz.
A
She's like, I know you do, but I just. It's my thing and I, you know, it's just something that. That grounds me and I love that for her. I genuinely love that for her that she has that. And. But she also doesn't see my beliefs as some threat to her beliefs, nor do I see her beliefs as a threat, but to my belief. And that's where I think you get to where it's not culty at all.
B
Agree.
C
Right.
A
And I think a lot of people have that type of. Of kind of silent faith. That's a super personal thing for them. And I, for me, I'm all about that. I think where Pumps and I come from to probably a lot of our listeners Are like, at eastern, west coast, like, God, y' all beat up on Christians all the time, right?
B
Why we do.
A
Because the Christians we are around are awful. They're maga. It's the same thing.
B
And it's getting louder every day.
A
Yeah, we're trying to. Okay, one more, Kylie. One last one.
C
Okay. The last one will be from Dylan. Okay.
E
So what I've had it with is when you go on your streaming platforms, you're like, on Hulu, Netflix, whatever, and then you get to the episode, whatever you want to watch. By the way, you're paying for this service amongst a thousand others. And then you get to press play and it says, which ad experience would you prefer? What? It's like, the most gaslighty ever. Like, you're paying for the service. They're abusing you constantly with ads. You're paying, presuming you're not going to get any ads. And then not only are they giving you ads, but they're being like, here, what would you like a pine cone or a pineapple of a piece your ass? Like, it's like, literally pick one or the other, and they're the exact same thing. At the end of the day, it's so stupid. I don't get it at all. And I. I'm sick of it. Across the board. Anything that's like, pay to stop giving you ads, it's the most toxic, abusive ever. Anyways, I know you guys have kind of talked about this before, but anyways, as Pumps would say, what the.
A
Okay, first of all, Dylan has a very attractive voice. Very, like, I just. All I can think about when he talked is, I bet he is hot. Agree.
B
And very soothing. Like, I could, like, lay my head on his shoulder.
A
I feel like I want to objectify his voice.
B
Yeah.
A
And I don't know if that's woke. I don't know if that's progressive, but I know that that's what I want to do with his voice.
B
Yeah, it's a great voice. Here's the thing. I've had this exact same meltdown. Like, I had a full meltdown over this on a podcast. And I was just like. Because I bought it, I'm going in there. There's all these. I can't get out. And I was just, like, wanted to, like, jump off the Empire State Building. I was so mad about it. This kind of makes me crazy. I'm buying that. I'm paying for your service.
A
It.
B
If I'm. It's not free. If I'm watching the free part. That's Fine. But I'm paying for it. And you're going to shove it out up my ass.
A
Had it.
B
Could not agree more. Hate it.
A
I want you to bottle up all of that frustration and grievance that you have right now, okay? And remember it. And the next time we go to an event and you tell me that I have to Irish exit and I can't lollygag and I can't small talk, I want you to remember that feeling that you just had. The meltdown that you just had. And then I want you to know, oh, this is what this feels like for her. Especially because I promised to be the helper.
B
I found that. Browbeat her about it.
A
You pre brow beat me, right?
B
I got in trouble before it even happened. Right?
A
Right. And so I just want you. I want you to remember that feeling the next time we go somewhere together and just bottle that up and just put it right here. I will do that. I will do that. Thanks for sharing with us about your deconstruction. I have people that message me that, that I've kind of gone through the same thing and I think it's really prevalent as you get to be an adult.
B
Yeah, I really do.
A
I think you need to talk to your therapist about when you say stuff like I was embarrassed or I was ashamed, you. You had no agency over that. You didn't get to pick that. That was forced upon you.
B
No, you're right. And we know what I mean a lot. Like, you need to let go of.
A
That because that's like you were emotionally blackmailed. If you do not believe this, you're gonna be tortured in hell forever.
B
Yeah.
A
Spencer, that's kind of fucked up.
B
Sleepless nights, worried about it for sure.
A
Yeah. All right.
B
Is that it, Kylie? Is that it? Are we out?
A
That's it.
B
All right, we will see you next Tuesday and Thursday.
A
I'll tell you what. I've had it with the terrace. I've had it it with that. Listen up patriots, gatriots and nriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called I hip News. It's Monday through Friday. Every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America. Always served with a side of petty grievances.
B
We are on all the available platforms. Apple, Spotify, go Google, whatever you get your podcast and YouTube, please go rate.
A
Subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind. Pumps. Pumps. What does an eagle say?
B
Caca.
A
A little bit more enthusiasm.
B
Caca.
A
That's it.
D
That's.
B
That's caca.
A
That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.
Hosts: Jennifer Welch & Angie "Pumps" Sullivan
Date: February 17, 2026
In this candid, comedic episode of "I've Had It," hosts Jennifer and Angie (aka "Pumps," self-proclaimed "Princess Diana of Podcasting") dig into all the absurdities, grievances, and “cult-like” thinking they’re officially fed up with. Alongside their producer Kylie, they review listener complaints, news stories, and take voice memos, going deep on topics from minor checkout-line rudeness to the psychology of religious indoctrination, the cult mentality infecting American politics, and the personal grief of losing one’s faith. True to the show’s relatable, sharp-tongued style, no topic is off-limits, and nothing is sacred—except, perhaps, the right to Irish Exit from a party.
On checkout line rudeness:
“All I want to do is buy one fucking thing. Just let me go.” —Angie ([00:35])
On raising polite kids:
“I like a preemptive ashu.” —Jennifer ([05:45])
On the podcast’s brand of humor:
“Each and every episode is an affirmation of our stupidity.” —Jennifer ([10:46])
On digital-native kids:
“It's disturbing. That's really sad.” —Jennifer ([11:35])
On religious grief:
“There's so much grief...it was guilt for that and grief for that. But then it was a choice that I...have to choose this for me.” —Angie ([33:42])
On the cult-like nature of evangelicalism:
“Charismatic and authoritarian leader… I would say this resembles not only the church you were in, but also the family structure.” —Jennifer ([47:52])
On faith and friendships:
“My least favorite people to hang out with are overtly religious Bible thumpers. It drives me crazy.” —Jennifer ([40:00])
On weaponized faith in MAGA politics:
“That's where this intersects...the people who have this black and white worldview...are completely different than like people that are Christian light...” —Jennifer ([39:03])
On streaming service ads:
“I'm buying that. I'm paying for your service. If...I'm watching the free part. That's fine. But I'm paying for it. And you're going to shove it out up my ass.” —Angie ([56:55])
The hosts are irreverent, frank, and consistently self-deprecating, with flowing, quick banter, and plenty of affectionate ribbing. While tackling heavy subjects like religious trauma and political extremism, they maintain their trademark blend of petulant humor and brutal honesty—peppered with cursing, personal anecdotes, and the occasional heartfelt moment.
This episode delivers the full “I’ve Had It” experience—venting their way from minor social rudeness to the far-reaching effects of cultural cult mentality. The hosts’ willingness to dissect personal and social issues with both humor and vulnerability is at its height here, providing both catharsis and laughs for anyone who’s ever "had it" with the state of the world—or with themselves. If you need a smart, relatable takedown of American BS—with the camaraderie of women who know how to have a good time along the way—this episode is a perfect entry point.