
Jen and Pumps are coming to you all the way from the big city with a brand new list of petty grievances to get pissed off about. Pre-order our new book, join our Patreon Cult, and more by clicking here: https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast. Thank...
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Pumps
So we're supposed to start the podcast. Ready?
Angie
1, 2, 3.
Pumps
Patriots, Gaytriots and Natriots. We are in New York City. We came up here, as you all know, to film with the fabulous ladies of the View, which. That was pretty cool. I mean, Whoopi Goldberg, Ego. Yeah, that was crazy. And so, because we want to stay on schedule, we are filming up here in New York to make sure everybody's petty grievances are tended to, nurtured, rocked and coddled pumps. What have you had it with?
Angie
Okay, what I've had it with is when I buy something online and then 30 days later, I get the same thing because I've automatically been signed up for a subscription when I didn't sign up for a subscription. And I will tell you, the first time it happened, I thought it was user error. I thought, oh, it's me, I'm doing it. And then I. It's happened again and again and I've gone back into the website and I've done a complete forensic accounting of this stuff, and when you buy it, it automatically sets you up for the subscription, and I've had it. And then they make unsubscribing you're like, hit unsubscribe. And they're like, what can we do to keep you? And I was like, this was a one off. This was a one night stand, and you're trying to turn it into a relationship. And I never wanted that. So quit. Leave me alone. I want to buy something. I want it to be a one off. I want to be done. I don't want to subscribe. I think it's bullshit in the highest order.
Pumps
All right, let me ask you a few questions.
Angie
Okay?
Pumps
Did this start around January 20th?
Angie
And I'm not just saying this, but it did. Yes, it did. This is what happened. It's the grifting in Trump's America.
Pumps
It trumps America because I remember right before Biden left office, it was like, we're making it a law to where you can cancel any subscription with one click, right? You know, these gems will make it where you have to go in, in person. Kylie's got that rogue tanning membership she's had for years that she spends like 75 bucks a month she never uses, but in order to cancel it, she has to go do it in person. And I, I think this is a Trump's America issue, and he's eviscerating what remains of any form of consumer protections, or as Republicans call them, regulations. And I think there's just going to be more of this. I think you're going to have to fasten your seatbelt.
Angie
This is the first of many things that consumers are going to take it up the. You know what, and you know what.
Pumps
The whole, like, you're trying to break up with a corporation and how needy and clingy they. They get is such a turn off.
Angie
It's a total. Well, these alpha males are so needy. It's ridiculous. I've never seen anything like it.
Pumps
Yeah, but I think corporations are also equal.
Angie
But I'm saying corporations are now acting like alpha males. They're needy, they're need constant attention. They need to tell you how great they are. They need to keep you. You can't leave. It's a control thing. I mean, it's all the same in Trump's America.
Pumps
All right, let me tell you what I've had it with. I've had it with the phrase stay positive. I don't want to be positive. I don't want anything to do with being positive. I want to be Kendrick Lamar petty, looking straight into the camera, saying sake with a, you know, a grin from ear to ear. I don't want to be positive. I want to be petty, I want to be pissed. I. I'm tired of the positivity pushers. There's just people that are constantly pushing, just try to stay positive. And it's like, this moment doesn't require positivity. This moment actually requires negativity. We need to be negative. We need to attack and be vociferous in our negativity to be able to overcome all of this rampant, insane maga fascism.
Angie
Yeah, the stay positive crowd. I'm like, the house is on fire. Our hair is on fire. And you want to talk about staying positive? Shut the fuck up. Nobody wants to hear it. Quit being Pollyanna. We need to be loud, we need to be mad, we need to be rebellious. I agree.
Pumps
And sometimes it's something that maybe you should be positive about, but you just don't want to be. And it's a part of your processing of emotions. Like, I need to be mad about this. I need to be petty. I need to, like, really get in the gutter. I need to go low, as low as low can be, so that I can get to the other side of it. And I think sometimes if you skip that part and it's like, oh, I'm just trying to stay positive. You're just a Stepford wife that ends up with a wall of Stanley Cups voting for Donald Trump. And that just doesn't end well. It's not a good look, and it doesn't end well.
Angie
Yeah, I remember when I was pregnant with Luke, I was really mad at my real dad, and my mom said, you just need to get over that. And I was like, no, no, no, I don't need to get over it. I'm mad. I'm right to be mad. I'm going to stay mad until I'm not mad anymore and I'm not talking about it. And I loved on that for about two weeks, and then I let it go. But sometimes you just have to love on it to get through it. Just saying stay positive doesn't change it.
Pumps
I remember when our marriages were at, like, their peak worst, and I had, like, my pain and my grievances, and I envisioned those as, like, wrapped up in, you know, those Tiffany boxes that are blue, that Tiffany blue with a white bow. Like, my pain and my grievances and all of my negativity. I gift wrapped up in the most beautiful Tiffany's box, and I would, in my brain pull it out, meticulous, meticulously undo the ribbon, open up the lid, and just start pulling out and petting on all of my resentments. And I needed to do that. I needed to have my little resentment box that, of course, was, you know, a fabulous Tiffany blue, But I needed to mentally have that. And I wasn't ready to put my resentments away until I was ready. Now, this is a slippery slope, because if you keep those resentments forever, that's not good. And I no longer have the resentment box. But there was a time period that I did, and it was very important to me. It was a very important part of my growth, of my quote, unquote, self discovery. And, you know, when you hit your 30s, you realize, like, oh, shit, we're, like, completely unprepared for adulthood. Because in your 20s, you kind of skate by and you're still kind of a kid. You think you're hot shit, but you're not.
Angie
Right.
Pumps
You get to your 30s, it's like, oh, my God, I'm so wildly unprepared for life.
Angie
Absolutely. And I had resentment boxes. And then, remember I had homicide fantasies.
Pumps
Oh, I do remember your homicide. Yeah.
Angie
I mean, I had the whole thing planned out how I was going to murder my husband. I mean, I never did it, but it made me feel it Relieved stress. Just to, like, fantasize about it a little.
Pumps
It always kind of shocked me a little bit when you would say, I remember thinking, like, always made me feel better. I remember thinking like, I love Josh, but I don't want him to die. And I would tell you that you'd be like, oh, I absolutely want my husband to die at my own hands. Welcome to I've had it. I'm Jennifer.
Angie
I'm Angie.
Pumps
She is a homicide a fan. She fantasizes about homicide and listener. For those of you that. It's like Meemaw, Princess Diana, cupcakes and Rainbow. She's a little savage. Which makes it even better.
Angie
Yeah.
Pumps
To have that component.
Angie
Thank God I haven't. Haven't had those fantasies in decades, so. But I did have them. I'm gonna admit it. I did.
Pumps
I remember it. I remember you talking about. I remember there was a car accident.
Angie
Yeah.
Pumps
There was a more violent baseball bat situation in which you were the swinger of said Batman. I do remember a time that you did grab a purse and hit him with your purse. And you called me bragging about that. Yeah.
Angie
The Gucci hobo bag.
Pumps
Yeah.
Angie
Big.
Pumps
Yeah, I remember it.
Angie
I just turned down to the floor with the back.
Pumps
That's Kylie's here today. Kylie, what's going on with our podcast?
Kylie
We've got a couple more reviews that I'm going to read you today.
Pumps
Okay.
Kylie
And up first, this one's grateful. Five stars, Jen Pumps and Kathy.
Angie
Ha.
Kylie
I've been listening for a few years and find your humor personalities and content exhilarating, informative and hilarious. I'm always finding I've had it daily. I'm a teacher so I find them a lot and I needed to list a few for you. Number one, mama heart, which I know you all have had it with that too. Two, when an influencer or someone online refers to objects such as a purse, couch, pretty vase or something thrifted as she as in look how beautiful she is, they aren't human. The object is an it. And number three, I've had it with son in love or daughter in love, just call them in laws. Thanks for letting me share. Thank you all for the fun and keep up the good work. Amy in New Orleans.
Pumps
This is the first I'm hearing of son in love.
Angie
Never heard that.
Pumps
Daughter in love. And that is just the cringiest, most God awful, wretched, unrealistic pile of horseshit I've ever heard in my entire life. This, these are the people that have, these are, this is the stay positive.
Angie
Right in the live laugh lovers in wood on your counter. Here's what I'm just going to go out on a limb. I don't know anything about it. This is the first time I've heard about it. But if somebody is calling their in laws their daughter in love or their son in love, I guarantee you whoever that son or daughter in law is hates their fucking guts. Think it's an overcompensation. I think that person hates them. I'm just calling it right now. I think that's true.
Pumps
I have to concur counselor. I have to say I think that is probably spot on because I think when you do stuff like that there is a, there's a compensating factor that we have to make everything cupcakes and rainbow because we're trying to disguise something. It's just your son in law or your daughter in law, right? Shut the fuck up. Quit showboating, quit making shit up that nobody is on board with. I mean I, I, this is, I bet this started since January 20th, since.
Angie
You and I. I'm 100 convinced January 20th is when it started.
Pumps
Kylie, who's next?
Kylie
Okay, up next we've got a five star titled Reading the right to Filth. These two ladies might be complaining about Republicans daily but they do it with class, substance and integrity. I try to be nice to Everyone. But I appreciate hearing my inner thoughts spoken out loud.
Pumps
Did she say substance and integrity? Kylie, put that back in class. Wait, but they do it with class, substance and integrity. Now I just want to put the, you know, like the manicure emoji next to me on this stream. I mean, that's. I mean, I don't think we're worthy of that.
Angie
But no, I don't think we're worthy either. The clap. I mean, I do think the class and integrity are probably an overreach. The middle one. What was that?
Pumps
Substance.
Angie
I think the substance. I think we are substantive.
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Angie
I would say damn near psychotic.
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Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto.
Pumps
And the book title is Life is.
Angie
Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches.
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In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances.
Pumps
You can click the link below in.
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Pumps
Now.
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Pumps
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Pumps
So if you feel like you've lost.
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Pumps
Now we have some news articles that I found interesting. Kylie, pop up the first one. Okay, this is craz. See, this is nuts. Okay, Schools remove analog clocks as teenagers can't tell time Some UK schools are replacing analog clocks in exam halls because students struggle to tell time. Teachers say digital clocks reduce stress, but critics argue it's a sign of declining basic skills. Are traditional clocks becoming extinct? Okay, so pumps, what's your take on this? Do you think this is a good thing or a bad thing?
Angie
Okay, here's the deal. I have noticed my kids cannot tell time on an analog clock and I find it to be absolutely the downfall of humanity that people can't tell time on a real clock. Like just learn it. You need to know. I mean, I just, I understand everything's digital, but how are you going to know what time it is if you're looking at Big Ben? How are you going to know what time it is if there's batteries died or electricity's right? I just, it's so basic. I mean they don't teach them cursive now. I just, I just think educational skills are. We're just losing it.
Pumps
I don't like the surrender. I, I just feel like this is a total surrender and I'm especially disappointed that this is the uk. I mean this is Mississippi or our state of Oklahoma. I get it. I mean the standards, the bar depressingly low. But the uk, I mean, I, I just, I don't like the surrender. And you brought up Big Ben. I mean that's all the more reason to tell you like we of the most iconic landmarks in the world and it's a clock and you little shits, you little plots, as they would say over there, need to learn how to tell time. I do not like this British surrender one bit. I, I don't like the surrender. It, it would not take very much time to teach them how to tell time. I don't, I don't like the surrender of it.
Angie
No, I don't either.
Pumps
Some, some things are cool. Like a clock is, is. It's a cool thing. It's. And it's not that hard to know. It's not rocket science.
Angie
No, it's not. It's not hard. I mean, it's the whole thing. It's just we're too dependent on all of this, like digital and social media and Internet and all that. It's just learn the basics, then you can go from there.
Pumps
Okay, Kylie, what's the next one? Okay. Almost 50% of men aged 18 to 25 have never asked a woman out in person. This trend is attributed to increased risk aversion among younger men, with many fearing rejection or social consequences. While 74% of women aged 25 and below expressed as a desire to be approached more often. And I think that this risk aversion is a direct consequence of social media because I've noticed in our kids generation the risk aversion is wow, because they know that one thing that they do could be echoed very quickly to their entire social network immediately. And so they, they have become more introverted and a far more risk averse. And I think this is such a shame because as embarrassing as some of the shit that happens to you when you're younger, those embarrassing moments, huge mistakes you make, really make you a much better adult.
Angie
I completely agree. And I think, you know, here's the thing. Part of life is rejection, part of life is falling on your face. You have to learn from that. And so if you never. And you have to socially interact, you have to, you know, learn how to read people, learn how to interact with people, even people you don't like, that's just part of the human experience. But now that everybody's so isolated and community and connection, that's what we all need. And I just, on a, just a real tacky note, I just want to ask you. So you're telling me these Alpha men, these rah rah, we have balls on the back of our truck, men are too scared to ask women out. Is that what the study is saying?
Pumps
Well, I, I think, I think you're connecting some things that might not necessarily need to be connected here. I think they're talking about Gen Z 18 to 25. And while a portion of that group would probably try to do all that Alpha stuff, I think a lot of these kids are the overarching thing in their childhood is they were raised by cell phones.
Angie
Right.
Pumps
And, and this is a far more consequential generational communicative breakdown that this generation is going to suffer from. And I think a lot of this Alpha male stuff really is at worst with our generation. Gen Xers. I think Gen Xers are the worst at that stuff. I mean, Gen Z, they, they did not majority vote for Trump. And so, and I think that their generation does seem to have more empathy. They do seem to have less care about people's sexuality or gender and they don't care about a lot of the petty things that our generation cares about. But it's heartbreaking for me that the risk aversion because getting the guts to go do something and then doing it is just a part of the human experience. And you have to, sometimes you get what you want when you get the guts up to do it, most of the time you don't get the desired result. And so it just really makes me sad.
Angie
Yeah, I just want to blame everything on Trump, whether it's related or not.
Pumps
I know, I get that. I get that. If this was a study of Gen Xers, I would be all chips in on that. But I, being a parent of two Gen Z boys and seeing all the kids, I see this risk aversion. But I also see that Gen Z Kids have far more empathy and social conscience than our generation does. Hands down, it's not even close.
Angie
Yeah, I mean, social media, there's a lot of really, really good things about it, like understanding, being able to see other people's grief and empathize. But I mean, this thing is real. The isolation, the risk aversion, I mean, these are things they're going to have to figure out. It's a shame.
Pumps
All right, today we have gone to our patreon, our cult, our online cult, where there are a lot of gay trio patriots and they patriots and ask them what they've had it with. And Kylie's going to start popping these up and I'm going to read them to you all from our community, our island community. Kylie, who's the first one? All right, Chrissy S. Chrissy S. Says, I've had it with women who 2.5 seconds after saying I do change their last name on all social media accounts to their married last name. It's like built into their wedding itinerary. 5pm Ceremony, 5:45 update Instagram name, 6pm Cocktail hour. If you want to change your last name after you get married, by all means. But I think we should leave at least three to five business days because shouldn't you, I don't know, enjoy your special day when with your spouse and loved ones, take a few days to bask in the newlywed glow instead of worrying about your personal brand. These are the women who make getting engaged and getting married their entire personality and have no other goals in life. And they probably gave each of their 14 bridesmaids Stanley cup for the bridal party gift. I've had it. This is a great point. And I've seen this.
Angie
I've seen it too, and I'm shocked. I mean, I'm always surprised.
Pumps
I also, I hate it for women. I think there's a pathetic nature to it. Like, I just, it's like the. Chrissy says it becomes their whole identity, everything about them. And I, I totally agree with this. It's like it's coordinated into the itinerary and it's when everything in your life is that orchestrated around your social media followers. I just think that's really weird.
Angie
Well, I think it absolutely is. But every time I see that, I'm like, that's so fast. And I, I did not change my last name until I was pregnant with Luke. It is the worst decision I've ever made. So, I mean, that's an overstatement. There's a lot of worse decisions, but just A hassle. Going to the Department of Motor Vehicles, get a new passport, all that. That's daunting. So I'm just going to say, if you're considering not changing it, I would lean towards not, because it's a huge hassle to get it back. That's just my psa.
Pumps
I think that the people she's referring to it was. It's a part. It's baked in, like, oh, no.
Angie
I know, but I just. And it goes so fast. Like, I'll go to a wedding and then I'll get, like, an alert from the bride or the groom, and it's already done. Like, I'm just barely home from the wedding.
Pumps
Okay, next one. All right. A day says, I've had it with parents who constantly lose their children in public places. I don't give a if parents put a leash on the kid or stuff them in the grocery cart. But I'm sick of hearing Linda screaming for their Precious Braden. Kayan McKenzie Kenley. Then the whole store has to shut down and all the employees have to look for your titty baby, knowing goddamn well the kid is probably hiding in the middle of clothes rack because they hate the mom, too. Meanwhile, I'm just trying to get someone to open the case so I can get the shampoo and listen to my island podcast in peace. I've had it.
Angie
Love that. That's a great one.
Pumps
I. It's true. I mean, I think that people need to. You got to keep an eye on these kids in public. And I'm going to tell you, my mother lost me all the time. It was traumatizing. So we would be at a grocery store and I'd be like, I want to go look at the lipstick colors. I'm like four or five. I am not very old. And this is what happens when you're a kid of the 80s. You're completely feral. I mean, you just. Nobody's hovering over you. So my mom would be like, okay. So a lot of time would pass by, and then I would meander through the grocery store looking for my mom, and I couldn't find her. So then I go to the counter and I'd be like, I can't find my mom. And I'd hear them pager and her name was Linda and be like, linda, please come to the, you know, manager's desk, etc. Etc. She didn't show up. She'd get all the way home, start unloading the groceries, and then be like, oh, I forgot Jennifer. And then they would drive back, and I have an older brother and sister. And those. Those assholes, they would, like, make fun of me for it. But I was the youngest of three, and so by that time, my mother was just like, meh. And then they would leave all the time the house. And I remember we lived in Texas at the time, and I remember that the dining room had these, like, sheer curtains. And I would see my mom, my brother, and my sister, and they're eight and nine years older than me. I would see them pull off down the driveway, and I'd be standing in these sheer curtains, leave me come back, and they'd be gone, like, 30 minutes, and then they'd come back, and my mom be like, oh, Jennifer, honey, I'm so sorry. I forgot you. And my brother would be like, how does it feel to be forgotten all the time? You know, just.
Angie
Yeah, no, that's so great. That's such a good. I've had it. Because it's true. And the names that are coming out that they're screaming. Although I do have to wrap myself out. I took Emily to the grocery store at college, and I couldn't find her. And I couldn't find her, and she wasn't answering her phone, and so I thought she was over, like, in the pharmacy area. And I just walked over there and I screamed her name, full name, so loud. So I was that person with an adult child. So I'm. I'm part of the problem.
Pumps
Okay, all right, next one. Jacob. I've had it with every fucking company making donations to Republicans. I mean, it makes sense considering billionaires get tax cuts, but where the fuck am I supposed to shop anymore? And, Jacob, I have to say, you know, we have advertisers on our podcast, and we recently canceled an ad campaign because the owner of this company, during the inauguration, posted on her story a picture of Melania Trump. And that's just unacceptable to pumps and me. And so it was money that this person committed. This company had committed to pay to our podcast for us to read ads. And we're just. We're not doing it. We're not doing it because there's too many marginalized people that are living in fear and have noticed an increase in the bullying and the racism and the homophobia, and we're just not going to take their money.
Angie
Yeah, it really is dicey on going into play. It used to be pretty obvious, like, Home Depot can't go into Chick Fil. A bad hate chicken. Now it's just, you know, like, I'm really trying to mentally prepare myself to stop Using Amazon, like I'm working through it right now. Like it, it's so convenient if I lived without it. But I'm so disgusted by the whole thing that no, you have to be conscious of it. But I will say I heard some positive news about Costco. Costco has refused to roll back their DEI didn't contribute to the inauguration fund or whatever it's called. And somebody asked like, have you lost as many members as you've gained? And they said, oh no, we've gained a ton of members. So I do think people are socially conscious about it and that's a good thing.
Pumps
And I just want to say this, I think that these companies who rush to him very quickly, it was a very short sighted, impulsive decision because if you look historically, the people who try to decrease rights, ban books, consolidate power, integrate business and government, it doesn't ever end very well for them. And so pumps and I have made decisions about advertisers moving forward because we're playing the long game and we try to be decent fucking people. And we really like this other company. I mean I really like their products, I like the people that we worked with there. But if the executive of that company is going to traffic in Trumpism and traffic in promoting Melania Trump. When women in our state are denied health care pumps. And I went to an abortion, a reproductive rights forum and there was a woman on stage that found out she was pregnant, happy about it, her husband was super happy about it, started bleeding, they do an ultrasound. Her fetus has no brain. And in a normal state where it's not run by Christian nationalists, this woman would have immediately been able to receive a DNC because this fetus was not going to make it as soon as it was born, doesn't matter what, where in the term it was. And she, her health was bad, she had to travel to other states to have this care. These other states are flooded because in abortion ban America people are not able to access this. And you know, she said, thank God she had the money. And so all of these laws and promoting these fascists, you're, it's, it's so divorced from humanity and I just want zero part of it, period. I think it's gross, I think it's disgusting. While this person flies on a private plane and has lives in a blue state and has nobody interfering with one thing that they do, period. And you would support an administration that wants to demean, take away rights, decrease rights, bully people, try to minimize people of color that are wildly successful and wildly smart, who have reached a position of success, you want to demean their position. I think it's gross. And if people start sharing Trump, I'm just fucking done with that. I'm not doing it completely.
Angie
Agree.
Pumps
Okay, the next one. Tiara says, I've had it with the fitness influencer era. Just because you lost 10 pounds doesn't suddenly make you a personal trainer or dietitian. So over it had it pumps.
Angie
It's so true. It is so true. Nobody wants to hear about it. Nobody wants to hear about, you know, how many portions you eat or how many grams of fat or whatever. It's just like, just because you lose weight doesn't make you an expert on health. Losing weight, it didn't make you a life coach. Especially my case when I just got the jab. So, I mean, I really have no insight to offer, but I just think people that sit around and tell you how great their diet's going, it's just, it's a matter of time before they fall off the wagon. And you see them at, like, a fast food restaurant with 48 french fries shoved in their mouths. I think it's just a matter of time.
Pumps
Well, I thought we had a friend and she. She lost a lot of weight. Good for her. I'm the biggest supporter of all of that. And then all of a sudden is a fitness coach, online life coach slash fitness coach. And I'm just like, what is the qualification of this? And to this grievance, I've had it with people filming themselves at gyms. It's just, I just. The whole. Can't anything be like, you just go to the gym and it doesn't have to be Instagram?
Angie
No, apparently not. Because I see that all the time. Like, people recording themselves. And it's just like, I always think to myself, who do you think is going to watch this? Who do you think cares enough to watch this? Have you seen the people that put, like, their. Their map of their run or their bike ride? Like, you know, I did 20 miles this morning on my bike. And then they show you the path they went on, like on Google Maps. I'm just like, dude, this is the most boring content I've ever heard of. Why do you think people care? It's just unbelievable.
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Pumps
Is you don't have these huge kitty.
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Pumps
Okay, next one. Austin M says I've had it with stupid questions. Why is my co worker asking me what's for lunch when they can clearly see I picked up food from Chipotle. I'm holding the bag and cup that displays their very their logo very clearly. Shut the fuck up. Alana comments. And she says this and these boomers at work who won't even attempt to google something before they walk their dumb asses over to my desk and ask about it. Use your resources, people. And I think everybody that is a listener of this podcast and a member of Asshole island knows about my long standing grievance with the phrase there is no such thing as a stupid question. Because I would even go on the permanent record to state that out of if, if we were to consider questions as a pie, I would say 85% of the questions are stupid questions and 15% of the questions on that pie are or actual questions. That's my opinion and I'll let the research catch up because it always with this. But I think stupid questions have attacked legitimate questions. And now when anybody asks me a question, I'm annoyed across the board.
Angie
Don't you think there was a point when people started saying, oh, there are no stupid questions. And I think that encouraged people to ask ask stupid questions. Yes, people started using it to get attention like in lectures in college and stuff. Like there was an A campaign at some point where they started saying there are no stupid questions. And it's like that was a lie. There are a lot of stupid questions. I wouldn't say 15, I mean 85, but I would say well over 50 are stupid completely.
Pumps
I'm going to stand by my 85%. But I further agree with you that saying there is no such thing as a stupid question enables stupid questioners to feel normalized.
Angie
Right.
Pumps
And they don't feel any shame about asking stupid questions like what's for lunch when you have the Chipotle? You know, it's. I am at the end of my rope with the stupid questions. It's just sometimes when Josh asked me really stupid questions, I just, just exhale very audibly. I'm just like, that's my response to it because I can't answer it. It exhausts me when he asks me stupid questions because I can't handle it. And he thinks it's just a real knee slapper. He loves it.
Angie
Only problem with that is then he finds that funny and he continues to ask it.
Pumps
Okay, next one. Ainsley says also have had it with baby shower games. The worst one is the belly measurement game. What the do you mean I should let a bunch of people guess how fat I have gotten in pregnancy? Am I supposed to smile and laugh while y'all make me seem like I'm the circumference of the Apollo 13 rocket? Okay, I'm just have to tell. There's no way I when I was pregnant, I've been pregnant twice that I would ever play some baby circumference gain. I mean, and what, they measure the belly at the shower.
Angie
Apparently, that's the first time hearing of that. That must be new. We don't. Okay, let me tell you this story. So with my first child, I was still working. There was a court reporter that was really tall and thin, and I'm only like 5, 6. And she was probably Jennifer's height, like 5 10, 5 11. And she had the tiniest baby bump. Like, you could almost not even tell she was pretty pregnant. And when I was about five, six months pregnant, people started asking me, like, God, what do you do? Oh, my gosh, you're so big. I mean, I got huge. I mean, huge. She had her baby two days before me, and it was. Her baby was like. I think she was like eight pounds, seven and a half pounds. So I give birth, and Sam was only six pounds and 14 ounces. And I told people to lie. I was like, I do not want people at the courthouse to know my baby was a full pound and a half smaller than her baby because she could. You couldn't even tell she was pregnant. It was humiliating.
Pumps
Wait, wait, wait. You lied about Sam's birth weight?
Angie
Yeah, like, to the people at the CourtNet. So I told, like, a couple of friends, like, friends that I was super close with. But I told him. I said, you lie. You do not.
Pumps
What was. What was the light? What did you say, like, £10, £9?
Angie
Well, no, I think her baby was, like, right around, like, seven and a half, eight pounds. So I was like nine pounds. I'm just like eight and a half pounds. Because I was so embarrassed. I was like, how do I look bigger than the side of a barn? And she can't even tell she's pregnant. And it was. I remember being so. Like, when they told me how much she weighed, and her baby was like, two days before her baby weight popped in my head. And I thought, are you kidding me right now? Like, that cannot be right.
Pumps
Was she a lawyer?
Angie
Court reporter.
Pumps
Oh, court reporter.
Angie
Yeah.
Pumps
Yeah. Was this when that.
Angie
Our.
Pumps
Our main listeners won't know, but our Patreon listeners know pumps used to go to this judge's office at the courthouse, smoke cigarettes in there. And the clerk of this judge had a pet raccoon up at the Oklahoma County Courthouse. Yeah.
Angie
So we'd smoke cigarettes. There's pet raccoon. It's kind of exactly what you'd think.
Pumps
And you're running around lying about your baby's birth weight. Yeah, I sure was. I love that. Okay, next up, Shane S. Says Videos from other countries like Japan that say Japan is living in 2050. No, it freaking isn't. Every country is living in 2025. Their technology or living conditions might vastly improved quality over the US experience. But that's not time travel. It's an overused and ridiculous expression. Shane, I think this is excellent. I've not seen this, but I thank you for bringing it to my attention because I'm always looking for to be pissed off about. This is right in my wheelhouse.
Angie
Yeah, no, that's the first thing I thought of is like, that is a great grievance. But I hadn't heard of it. I didn't know they were doing that. Cut me some slack. And guess what else? Everything that happens in Vegas does not stay in Vegas. Your wife always finds out. I'm just saying it's true.
Pumps
It's true. Okay, next up, Logan. Stupid ass air fryers. And that was all caps lock. They take a long time to cook. It's been known that they cause cancer and they can catch on fire. I love my mom. I love my mom and all, but every time she wants to put four chicken legs in that air fryer for 45 minutes for them to come out still raw. And it takes everything in me not to be like you and your air fryer. I'm a new member of the cult and I want to tell you ladies, I love you and y'all are the only thing keeping me sane right now during Trump's America. Logan, first of all, I'd like to say welcome.
Angie
Welcome.
Pumps
Second of all, I would, I want to, I want to say.
Angie
I.
Pumps
First of all, I don't cook that much, but I've heard a lot of people, you got to get an air fryer. It's easy. Just throw something in it. And I thought about it. I think I even pulled one up on Amazon at one point, but I resisted. I've never used an air fryer. And reading your grievance makes me realize I will never use an air fryer. Because there was a whole like two year period there where all anybody spoke about were air fryers. Oh, you got to get an air fryer. Oh, I'm going to put this in the air fryer. Oh, we air fried it. Like what's going on with all these air fryers? And so I'm glad to know that, that I suspected something was probably suspect with these things. And I'm glad to know that it's cranking out salmonella induced chicken legs. And so I want no part of the air fryer pumps. Do you have an air fryer?
Angie
Okay, Logan, you love your air fryer. I love my air fryer.
Pumps
But here's the thing.
Angie
What I do is I take, like, my leftovers, like a hamburger and french fries that's left over, and I put it in the air fryer, perk it right up, and then eat it the next time I want to eat that. I've never cooked anything raw. I mean, nothing I've ever. No, that's not true. I've made bacon in the air fryer, but that's it. Other than that, it's strictly heat up, like pizza bites or something like that. Like, I didn't know people put, like, raw meat in an air fryer. That's interesting. I just love that you just want to tell your. You and your air fryer, because I just feel like that's something my kids can completely identify with, not necessarily just about the air fryer.
Pumps
Okay, next one. Amber says, strangers that talk to me like I've known them for 10 years. Like, please, this is the damn dollar tree. Let me get my snacks and leave. I don't want to hear about how your husband left. You and your kids are estranged. There's probably a reason for that. Linda, this is where listener pumps will agree with that statement and do it. But she's the person in the dollar tree. Sometimes I'm out in public with her, and some of the stuff that comes up, I'm like, we're about to land the plane. We're about to walk off. And then she just keeps, oh, yeah, you know, my husband just did it. My ex husband, blah, blah, blah. And she throws some juicy nugget out there. I'll tell you what. Recently we ran into this gal in the parking lot, and Pumps immediately starts asking her about her child support case. And I'm so far, and I want to bang my head on the windshield. I want to. My head to crack the windshield glass, banging it. And I want the, you know, the brack.
Angie
The.
Pumps
The glass. I want all the little squares to fall on me. And I. And then turn the windshield wipers on and just let the windshield wiper in the face, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. I'm a hostage. She's the driver. She rolls down the window. She's like, hey, come here, come here, come here. I can't help it because I'm really nosy. But let's talk about your child support case. I've been all over the court dockets, and I am just like, oh, my God. And Then it just keeps going, and it just keeps going, and I'm like, uhhuh. Okay, well, always great to see you. And I'm trying, and she will not. She is just sitting there with her a can of goddamn tuna fish just feeding, feeding, feeding. And it's just. I literally wanted the car to abuse me so I could get out of the situation.
Angie
I've never loved anything more than your description of the glass breaking and the windshield wipers going back and forth. That was good.
Pumps
It would have been more enjoyable than. Than watching you invade that poor girl's privacy and the awkward cringe, everything that that came out of it. And I'm just sitting there. I'm a hostage. And I look like I am a willing participant in this because I'm sitting in your car, your seatbelt belted on me, and we look like a duo. And then you just sabotage the entire thing. I see. I haven't even bring it up to you because this happens all the time.
Angie
Yeah. No, I just want you to know, when I was reading this, I was like, that's something that I do. I'm aware. I'm aware that I do it. I just. I just.
Pumps
You can't help it. That's why I haven't even brought up this whole fantasy that I had. You have fantasies about. About homicide of your ex husband? I have fantasies that when you start doing this, that I get injured and hospitalized like that, that somebody calls 911 and an ambulance comes and get me. And then I can just spin my head while they're willing me out of the ambulance and go, you finally did it. Are you happy now? Ever gonna stop feeding cats? Like, I want to be a martyr. I want to be a victim of this. All right, I think we should do one last one. What do you think? Pumps.
Angie
I do. These are fun. All right.
Pumps
Jace says, I've had it with friends wanting to hang out with me. I just want you to know that I like you and know that you like me without needing to hang out. Look, I have a couch to sit on, a book I want to read, a partner. I want to be with a family. I want to see often. And there's just no time to go, quote, get coffee. I want you to see me, but have no expectation for me to actually hang out with you.
Angie
So, eloquently put. I mean, this is just.
Pumps
That's perfect.
Angie
He came in my brain and he just wrote it out. I value you. I like you. I want the absolute best for you. And I don't even have people I want to hang out with. I just want to be with my dog.
Pumps
So here's what I like about this. It's like we can be friends in. In words. But all of the activities that go under the umbrella of friends, I'm out on hanging out, getting coffee, texting, having a phone conversation. We can just say we're friends and then that's it. We just leave it right there. And I think that what he wrote was one of the most important sentences I've read in Trump's America.
Angie
Yeah, he. I mean, it was just beautifully laid out. It was perfect. Perfect in every way. I completely love it.
Pumps
Okay, Pumps, tell the listener about all of the things that we have.
Angie
We have so many new things going on. We have have our Patreon cult. We have a book coming out in May. We have substack. We have I Hip News. We have me. We do best of all things. Yeah, Jennifer, he's not very nice to me. Do we have anything else? Oh, we have substack.
Pumps
Oh, yeah, you already said that. Okay, I think now you should just.
Angie
Tell them we will see you next Tuesday and Thursday.
Pumps
Bye, guys. I'll tell you what I've had it with.
Unknown
Let's hear it.
Angie
I've had it with that.
Pumps
Listen up, patriots, gaytriots and natriots.
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Angie
We are on all the available platforms. Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcast and YouTube.
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Pumps
Pumps. Pumps.
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What does an eagle say?
Angie
Caca.
Pumps
A little bit more enthusiasm.
Angie
Caca.
Pumps
That's it. That's. That's kaka. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.
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Podcast Information:
In the "Baby Weight Fraud" episode of "I've Had It," hosts Jennifer Welch and Angie "Pumps" Sullivan navigate through a myriad of modern frustrations that listeners have voiced over time. The episode delves deep into consumer rights, societal expectations, and the overwhelming influence of digital culture, all wrapped in the hosts' signature comedic and candid style.
Angie's Frustration with Automatic Subscriptions: Angie kicks off the conversation by expressing her exasperation with companies that enroll customers into subscriptions without explicit consent. She shares her personal experiences of purchasing items only to discover recurring charges days later.
"When you buy something, it automatically sets you up for the subscription, and I've had it... I think it's bullshit in the highest order."
(02:14)
Link to Political Climate: The discussion quickly veers into the political arena, with Angie attributing these predatory practices to the erosion of consumer protections under the Trump administration.
"This is the grifting in Trump's America."
(03:14)
Corporations as Overbearing Partners: Pumps likens these companies to needy, overbearing partners who cling onto consumers, making it difficult to "break up" without hassle.
"They're needy, they need constant attention... It's a control thing."
(04:37)
Pumps on the Negativity Mandate: Pumps voices her disdain for the societal push towards unwavering positivity, arguing that in certain moments, especially amidst rising fascism, embracing negativity is essential for genuine change.
"I don't want to be positive. I want to be petty, I want to be pissed... to overcome all of this rampant, insane MAGA fascism."
(04:50 - 05:45)
Angie's Agreement and Personal Anecdotes: Angie concurs, sharing her personal struggles during pregnancy where forced positivity minimized her valid emotions.
"Stay positive doesn't change it."
(06:05)
Metaphor of Resentment Boxes: Pumps uses a metaphor about storing grudges in "Tiffany boxes," illustrating the necessity of processing negative emotions before moving forward.
"I gift wrapped up my resentment... to get to the other side of it."
(07:12 - 08:31)
Listener Grievances on Social Skills Decline: The hosts discuss listener submissions highlighting concerns like younger generations' inability to read analog clocks, signaling a decline in fundamental skills.
"It's such basic. I mean, they don't teach them cursive now. We're just losing it."
(17:09)
Impact of Social Media: They critique how social media fosters risk aversion and diminishes face-to-face interactions, leading to more introverted and hesitant individuals.
"The risk aversion is part of the human experience."
(22:09 - 24:00)
Changing Last Names Post-Marriage: Chrissy S. vents about women immediately changing their last names on social media after marriage, losing personal identity in the process.
"It's coordinated into the itinerary... Everything about them is that orchestrated around your social media followers."
(25:25 - 26:48)
Companies Donating to Republicans: Listeners express frustration over companies supporting Republican causes, leading the hosts to discuss the ethical implications and their decisions to distance from such advertisers.
"I think it's gross... I'm not doing it completely."
(30:55 - 34:25)
Fitness Influencer Era: Tiara's grievance highlights skepticism towards individuals proclaiming themselves as fitness experts after modest weight loss.
"Just because you lose 10 pounds doesn't suddenly make you a personal trainer."
(34:00 - 36:30)
Air Fryer Frustrations: Logan complains about the inefficiency and safety concerns of air fryers, reflecting a niche but relatable modern annoyance.
"They take a long time to cook... they catch on fire."
(45:53 - 48:30)
Strangers Overstepping in Public: Amber dislikes strangers assuming familiarity and engaging in intrusive conversations in public spaces.
"Strangers that talk to me like I've known them for 10 years..."
(50:27 - 51:03)
Friends Wanting to Hang Out: Jace expresses annoyance with friends constantly wanting to socialize, preferring solitude instead.
"Friends wanting to hang out... I have no time to go, quote, get coffee."
(51:43 - 53:05)
Angie's Experience with Birth Weight Discrepancy: Angie shares a personal story about lying about her baby's birth weight to avoid embarrassment when compared to a coworker's less noticeable pregnancy.
"I told people to lie... I do not want people to know my baby was a full pound and a half smaller."
(43:12 - 45:07)
Pumps’ Fantasies of Escaping Intrusion: Pumps humorously details her fantasies of sabotaging intrusive encounters initiated by the other hosts, emphasizing the emotional toll of such interactions.
"I have fantasies that when you start doing this, that I get injured and hospitalized..."
(51:03 - 53:05)
Angie on Unauthorized Subscriptions:
"I think it's bullshit in the highest order."
[02:14]
Pumps on Rejecting Forced Positivity:
"I don't want to be positive. I want to be petty, I want to be pissed."
[04:50]
Angie on Social Skill Decline:
"It's so basic. I mean they don't teach them cursive now. We're just losing it."
[17:09]
Pumps on Corporate Control:
"They're needy, they need constant attention... It's a control thing."
[04:37]
Angie on Listener Grievances:
"Just because you lose 10 pounds doesn't suddenly make you a personal trainer."
[34:00]
The "Baby Weight Fraud" episode serves as a mirror reflecting the multifaceted frustrations of contemporary society. From unethical business practices and the superficiality of social media to generational skill gaps and intrusive social behaviors, Jennifer and Angie encapsulate the everyday battles faced by many. Through humor and candid dialogue, the hosts validate listener grievances, fostering a sense of community and shared understanding.
A recurring theme is the erosion of genuine consumer protections and personal autonomy, exacerbated by political shifts and technological advancements. The hosts advocate for authenticity, meaningful social interactions, and a rejection of superficial positivity, urging listeners to confront and voice their frustrations.
"I've Had It" successfully navigates through a landscape of modern-day grievances, offering both solace and a platform for listeners to voice their own "had it" moments. By intertwining personal stories with broader societal critiques, Jennifer Welch and Angie "Pumps" Sullivan create an engaging and relatable narrative that resonates with a wide audience.