Butthole of the Bible Belt

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Butthole of the Bible Belt"

Podcast Information:

• Title: I've Had It
• Host/Author: Jennifer Welch and Angie Sullivan
• Episode: Butthole of the Bible Belt
• Release Date: June 19, 2025

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1. Welcome and Guest Introduction

The episode kicks off with Jennifer Welch and Angie Sullivan warmly welcoming their special guest, Jonathan Van Ness, to the studio in Oklahoma City. Jonathan shares a nostalgic reflection on his last visit to the city at age 17, recounting a humorous yet tense moment involving a police encounter at a gas station.

Jonathan Van Ness [01:54]: "I had to run away from a police officer because I got caught trying to buy alcohol in a gas station and I had to lay in a cornfield for 25 minutes."

2. Frustration with Social Media Algorithms

Jonathan expresses his exasperation with social media algorithms, particularly how they fail to recommend relevant content based on his podcast topics. He highlights the issue of right-wing algorithms dominating his feed, making his online experience stressful.

Jonathan Van Ness [02:25]: "I've had it with these algorithms, you guys. They are just stressing me out."

Jennifer echoes his sentiments, sharing her struggle with unwanted Christian talk content flooding her social media, leading to a chaotic and unpredictable feed.

Jennifer [02:47]: "My algorithm is so schizophrenic, it goes from like atheist to Trump shit to woke ass everything. It's bananas."

3. Impact of Christian Nationalism and Evangelical Christianity

The hosts delve into the pervasive influence of Christian nationalism in rural America. Jennifer and Angie critique how evangelical Christianity has become intertwined with politics, fostering an environment of hypocrisy and intolerance, especially towards the LGBTQ+ community.

Jennifer [28:39]: "A lot of people have suffered religious trauma and have had to deconstruct their faith to find serenity because the parameters of evangelical Christianity are so hypocritical and cruel for a thinking person."

Jonathan discusses his upbringing in a religious environment, highlighting the emotional manipulation experienced during childhood religious indoctrination.

Jonathan Van Ness [27:33]: "When you're six, I grew up in the church, like very religious... they tell you when you're a really small child that if you don't go get everybody to accept Jesus in their heart, then they're gonna burn in hell forever."

4. Tipping Culture and Minimum Wage Challenges

The conversation shifts to the declining trend in restaurant tipping, with the average tip dropping to 19.3%, the lowest in six years. The hosts discuss the underlying reasons, attributing it to a combination of tipping fatigue among consumers and systemic issues where corporations exploit both workers and patrons by relying on tips instead of providing livable wages.

Jennifer [21:35]: "I 1 million percent blame corporations and Congress for allowing consumer exploitation so that the corporations don't pay people a livable wage."

Jonathan adds that even in states where minimum wage laws are enforced for service workers, the wages are insufficient for a decent living, exacerbating the reliance on tips.

Jonathan Van Ness [24:34]: "But I feel like Oklahoma City probably is one of the top hundred biggest cities in the country."

5. Fraud in the Dating Scene

A notable story is discussed about a Japanese man arrested for dating 35 women simultaneously and deceiving them about his birthday to receive gifts, amounting to approximately 100,000 yen. The hosts debate the ethics of such actions, ultimately supporting accountability and restitution for the victims.

Jennifer [16:26]: "I support the arrest, but wouldnt."

Jonathan reflects on the impersonal nature of the deceit, emphasizing the emotional damage inflicted on multiple individuals.

Jonathan Van Ness [16:42]: "He needs to pay the restitution. Pay those girls back, give them their stuff back."

6. Critique of Billionaires and Tax Systems

The panel discusses the misunderstanding surrounding the scale of wealth, clarifying that a billion is a thousand million. They critique the current tax system, pointing out that billionaires like Elon Musk pay a significantly lower tax rate through capital gains compared to typical earners, highlighting systemic inequalities.

Jonathan Van Ness [08:17]: "It's a thousand. Yeah, it's a thousand million, right? As a billion."

Jennifer emphasizes the rigged system favoring the rich, preventing economic trickle-down benefits to the broader population.

Jennifer [09:37]: "The system is rigged for the rich to get richer and it never trickles down, which is another big lie, which is trickle down economics, which is bullshit."

7. Generational Tensions and Political Alignments

Jennifer and Angie express their frustration with Generation X, noting how their political leanings have contributed to the rise of figures like Donald Trump. They lament the shift from patriotism to divisive politics, worrying about the future influence of younger generations like Gen Z in perpetuating these trends.

Jennifer [10:26]: "Gen X getting off the hook it's unbelievable... this generation that was born with Ronald Reagan as their hero is now voting... Donald Trump."

8. Megan Kelly’s Radicalization and Media Influence

The hosts critique Megan Kelly’s transformation from a mainstream media personality to a figure capitalizing on political polarization. They argue that her alignment with MAGA rhetoric is a strategic move to sustain her career after losing her show on NBC.

Jennifer [36:42]: "She had to bend the knee to Maga because that was the only people that she could align herself with to pay her bills and make her continue her riches."

Jonathan supports this viewpoint, suggesting that Kelly's shift is both a business strategy and a response to her being "canceled."

Jonathan Van Ness [39:10]: "So that's why she's had to, to completely bend the knee to Donald Trump."

9. Elon Musk’s Influence on Social Media and Politics

The discussion touches on Elon Musk’s acquisition of Twitter and its impact on political discourse. Jennifer and Jonathan express skepticism about the authenticity of pro-MAGA sentiments, attributing much of the perceived support to algorithm manipulation and troll farms.

Jennifer [42:27]: "I believe the support of MAGA is exaggerated via these rigged algorithms from Elon."

10. Dog Personalities and Owner Traits

A lighter segment explores the idea that dogs often mirror their owners' personalities. Jonathan humorously disputes a recent study citing his own dog’s contrasting behavior compared to his personality.

Jonathan Van Ness [43:36]: "I think that's very not true because my dog is little, a little barky and a little anxious for the first three minutes. He's a little standoffish and I'm nothing like that."

11. Personal Anecdotes and Community Engagement

Throughout the episode, the hosts share personal stories and engage in playful banter. They discuss their relationships with their pets, styling preferences, and the challenges of maintaining discipline with their dogs. Additionally, they encourage listeners to engage with their content and share feedback.

Jennifer [72:20]: "I've had it with that. Listen up patriots, gatriots and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped."

12. Concluding Thoughts on America’s Potential and Challenges

In their final segments, Jennifer, Angie, and Jonathan reflect on America's dichotomy—celebrating its diversity and potential while being disheartened by its current political and social divisions. They emphasize the importance of fighting for civil and human rights, advocating for marginalized communities, and rejecting the divisive influences of political figures like Donald Trump.

Jennifer [70:12]: "This is our fight right now. And we could tuck and roll, but who would we leave behind?"

Jonathan adds a personal touch, expressing his love for America despite its flaws, highlighting the resilience and potential he sees within the nation.

Jonathan Van Ness [69:18]: "Because there's a part of the America that I'm so proud of, and then there's a part that I am just so upset by and disturbed by..."

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Note: Timestamps are approximate and correspond to the provided transcript segments.

Transcript

[Jennifer]

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[Jonathan Van Ness]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. Now I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills. But it turns that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment.

[Ryan Reynolds]

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[Jonathan Van Ness]

See mintmobile.com.

[Jennifer]

So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready? 1, 2, 3 patriots gatriots they trio black triats Brown Trio Live in studio Today is the hottest throuple you have ever seen and it is Jonathan Van Ness with I've Had It Collab okc. Let's fucking go.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Oh my God, I'm so excited to be here. Thanks for having me you guys.

[Angie]

Oh my gosh, we're so excited you came to Oklahoma City.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

I'm in Oklahoma City. I haven't been here since I was 17 for my cousin's wedding.

[Angie]

Really?

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Yeah, I I had to run away from a police officer because I got caught trying to buy alcohol in a gas station and I had to lay in a cornfield for 25min. But I did so successfully and I did not get like a criminal record when I was 17 so I'm really proud of that.

[Jennifer]

Do you have a cousin that's an Okie?

[Jonathan Van Ness]

They were original. They're from Enid, Oklahoma, but she got married here.

[Jennifer]

Gotcha. Okay.

[Angie]

Enid.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Man, I love when she watches this. She's gonna be like, you silly girl, like we got married in Tulsa or like some totally other city, but I'm pretty sure it was here.

[Jennifer]

Okay, Jonathan, what have you had it with.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

I've had it with these algorithms, you guys. They are just stressing me out. And on my pod, I did an episode on gay Republicans in 2023 and my TikTok algorithm has never rec. So now I keep seeing, like, remember that One thing on TikTok that was like, da na na na na na na na na na. I keep getting these, like, Trump people being like, with very Trumpy, like six syllable phrases. So I've had it with right wing algorithms.

[Angie]

Yeah, no, it's bad.

[Jennifer]

It's so bad. Same. And you know what happens is I don't like Christian talk, but I also can't stop watching it because they're so freaky. And so Kylie and Seth and some of our gaytriots that are listeners of this pod send them to. So I open it and then I'm watching it and it's like tongue talking, bible thumping, all this stuff, and it's so psychotic. I'm like, I need to get out of this. I'm fucking my algorithm. But I keep watching it and then it feeds me another one. So sometimes, like, my algorithm is so schizophrenic, it goes from like atheist to Trump shit to woke ass everything. It's bananas to, like, pickleball.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Exactly. It's fun, but it's also unfun.

[Angie]

Here's my problem with all the Trump algorithm. I think half of it is satire. I'm like, this cannot be real. Sure. This is not what people are really saying. And then I asked like, Jennifer or Kylie or my daughter, and they're like, oh, no, that's real. I'm like, how can that be real?

[Jonathan Van Ness]

And that, that Maha algorithm, like, where they're eating like the raw, like fermented, like, organs and stuff, and they get. The trails in the sky are like, I don't know what they. I don't know what they think those, like, airplane trails are. They really think that's something.

[Jennifer]

It's really crazy when you get the Maha all pulled together. Like, the one thing that has been a luxury as an adult is to know that I'm not a scientist.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Right.

[Jennifer]

Science class was difficult for me. I was much better at history, English, other things. And so it's like, I'm not a scientist, but I can go to a physician who went to 20 years of medical school and they will know. And then the medical licensure board has made sure that they're up to speed on any changes. And I can defer knowing this stuff to an expert. But in the Maha world, they're conducting their own research.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

What a way to bear. That's such a burden.

[Angie]

Right.

[Jennifer]

I'm so unburdened by that. And they are so burdened by that.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

They are.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

No, I've been doing pretty good. I feel like. On trusting the medical field, right?

[Jennifer]

Yes, exactly.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Yeah.

[Angie]

And it's all this bullshit that I'm just like, no one would believe that. But then when you get sick, you race to the doctor and I'm like, I think there should be a. Like a prohibition, like, you wanted to get diagnosed by Facebook and WebMD. Let them treat you.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Pumps. I have a question.

[Jennifer]

Okay.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

What is the slip color? It's everything.

[Angie]

Oh, my gosh. You know, it's like a color state from like Walmart or Walgreens or something. It is from Walgreens. It's like a red state. I put it on the morning. Don't have to put it on all day.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

It's giving me luxury. I had to name it or I wasn't going to be able to focus.

[Angie]

Oh, my God. To have Jonathan Van Es that I have good lipstick is just making me the happiest.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

It's like such a great color.

[Jennifer]

What have you had it with? Pumps.

[Angie]

Okay. What I've had it with, kind of in the same vein, is everything has to be geared to the dumbest person on the planet. You see these advertisements for pharmaceuticals, which I hate anyway, but they say, well, if you're allergic to this medication, don't take it fucking. Really? If I am so dumb that I am taking something that I'm allergic to or don't I kind of deserve it? Like, if coffee spills on me and it's hot, that's kind of on me. You don't have to tell me it's hot. Like, I'm just. Everything has to be done them down for the dumbest person, I feel like it's torture.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

I just. I align. I agree. But also, like, everything's. This is why everything's political. You know, we've got that. That McMahon lady is our Department of Education lady.

[Angie]

The WWE lady.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

The WWE lady. You know, I mean, fuck, no, it's really bad.

[Jennifer]

It's stupidity is being mainstreamed and elevated and encouraged and normalized.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

You know what? I have a theory on that. I say about this sometimes, but I want to get to it, but I'll. But it won't take that long.

[Jennifer]

Okay.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Should I tell you? Yes. Okay. I feel like the right. Does this thing where, like, they like to manufacture, you know, rage and blame, so it's all to like blame, which to me is like. And I hate to like use Taco Bell in this analogy because I actually really love Taco Bell. So I'm sorry, Taco Bell, but it's like, it's, it's kind of like fast food versus like having to make something at home. Like, it's easier to blame someone. Just like go pick up the food at like Taco Bell or wherever you're gonna go and then just blame them. And it's easy to put away. The nuance is like having to like go home and like make the food and like sit with yourself. And it takes a little longer. But then afterwards you're like, oh, I feel better. I get it. You know, I took the time. So does that make sense?

[Jennifer]

Does that resonate?

[Jonathan Van Ness]

The fast food is the blame. And that is just what. It just takes a little bit more thinking. But we're not, I think we've really accepted that everyone, it's like, well, no one has an attention span so they're not gonna pay attention. I think we need to start demanding like more than an eight second attention span.

[Angie]

I agree.

[Jennifer]

And we've cult created a culture of instant gratification and individualism American society has cultivated. We need it immediately. Who can get it? Who can get it done faster? Don't sit in discomfort. Fix the problem. You know, immediately where sometimes you have to sit in discomfort or you have to do hard things, or you have to be uncomfortable. And then the other thing is just this rampant individualism. America is like all about the individual, specifically the billionaire individual. But then it trickles down from there to where the non billionaire individual votes against their own rights for the billionaire's individuality, which is bananas.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

I know that you just said you'd had it with having to dumb everything down for everybody, but you know what really freaks me out about this whole billion thing? Do you guys know how many millions that is, like off the top of your head?

[Jennifer]

No. No. Yeah.

[Angie]

999 million.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

It's a thousand. Yeah, it's a thousand million, right? As a billion. Okay, girl. I was running my whole life thinking that 100 million was a billion. Like, I just felt like 100 million is a billion.

[Angie]

So I was like that to you.

[Jennifer]

I just answered it that way.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

But that's what I thought. But that's it. So when someone says that they've got a billion dollars, that's 1,000 millions. Elon Musk has over, I think 450 billion. Like in a trillion is a thousand billions. Like, I just don't think People understand. And I also just got my eyes open to this, which really didn't get. But this is like actually really interesting. We don't like say here this long, but you know, like the top tax bracket is 37%. Like anyone who makes over 600 a year, that's the top tax, the top tax bracket. So that means that someone making 600,000 is paying the same rate as Elon Musk, who's making 450 billion. And not only that or is worth 450 billion, but not only that. A lot of these really crazy billionaires like your Bezos, your Musks and just like your investment hench fund people that like get their money through capital gains through selling assets, their tax rate's only 20%, right? So a lot of these that are getting their money through selling stocks, they're only paying 20%. If you have a full time job or many full time jobs like I do, it's like, it's just insane to me that like I would be paying the same as like an Elon Musk or that it's someone who's making 600 would pay the same as me and Jonathan.

[Jennifer]

That's the big lie right there. It's not the 2020 election. That is the big lie that has been told to working class Americans that you can't have nice things because of somebody like Jonathan Van Ness. And he needs to trigger you and you need to be scared of him because he's the reason that you can't have nice things. And all of the rainbow waivers, they're the reason you can't have nice things. The reason, Middle America, that you can't have nice things is exactly what Jonathan just described. The system is rigged for the rich to get richer and it never trickles down, which is another big lie, which is trickle down economics, which is bullshit. It is trickle down incompetence and trickle down suffering. Yes, let's go.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Let's flip this fucking table. No, because it's your firm and it's really pretty and you. We can't mess this table up.

[Jennifer]

It's really n. Let me tell y' all what I've had.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Yeah, we have to tell you or tell us what it is.

[Jennifer]

Okay, I've had it. Pumps and I are Gen Xers. I mean, she's kind of on the cusp of being a boob.

[Angie]

Not. I'm not.

[Jennifer]

She's older than me, but that's neither. Four and a half years, but significantly older. But I have had it with Gen X getting off the hook it's unbelievable because the boomers, I mean, I've browbeat the boomers a lot. And then the millennials, I used to browbeat quite a bit. And now Gen Z, my sons are browbeating millennials.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Oh, yeah, they are.

[Jennifer]

And then they're also browbeating boomers. But when you look at the data of who voted the most Trumpy, it's Generation X. It's our generation. And this is what's so fucking scary about this. We were raised during a Reagan era, okay? So it was all this souped up patriotism where it's like, we love America and family values. Meanwhile, meanwhile they are completely abandoning the gay community. Many of my friends in college died of aids. And they are demonizing the poor, glamorizing the rich. And so this generation that was born with Ronald Reagan as their hero is now voting. And guess who they're voting for is Donald Trump. So let's play the tape through. Holy shit, we're fucked. This generation that has such Trump in their lives, when it's, when he's done with this, if he makes it, and he's not a spring chicken, but if he makes it, 15 years of him being in a leadership position.

[Angie]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

And I, I fear, what about that kid generation?

[Angie]

I feel like they want the, like we always expected politics to be boring and this generation is going to find it entertaining because Trump is such a nut. So now do we look to politics at Gen Z and think we want incompetent people that are outrageous and brash? That's what worries me.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

I just had an intrusive thought about the fact that when I was in sixth grade, I was so obsessed with the Bill Clinton sex scandal, I wrote a report about it and it wasn't even a school assignment. I just literally wrote a book about it. And then when I wrote over the Top, my first book, I was like, oh my God, this is how I'm gonna get that thing published. It's been sitting in my back pocket my whole life. So I just have this random chapter in the middle of over the Top that is like my 11 year old thoughts on the Bill Clinton sex scandal, where I think I say something to the effect of like, Ken Starr. You may think that the American people are stupid, but we are not.

[Angie]

Little kid at Ken Starr was right.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

I just always thought it was fun. I just always thought politics was like, kind of interest.

[Jennifer]

My mother is, she's a huge lifelong Democrat, really liberal, but she loves a political sex scandal, particular gay Republican sex. Ooh, they have so many Let me welcome to. I've had it. I'm Jennifer.

[Angie]

I'm Angie.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

And I'm Jonathan. Yay.

[Jennifer]

All right, let's check in with the lesbian production leader, Kylie. Kylie, what's going on on the Internet? And how are the lesbians? Well, first, I have great news. Your coffee has just arrived.

[Angie]

Oh, yay.

[Jennifer]

I'm going to send it in. Okay. All right. Jonathan Van Ness ordered a coffee that was so pride. And my son is.

[Angie]

We have a special guest. That's for Mark.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

We have hope for the young straight men of America. Here he is.

[Jennifer]

Here he is.

[Angie]

He's a nice little angel.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Yes.

[Jennifer]

Roman, say hi. Straw for Mark.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Hello, everyone.

[Jennifer]

Go, Roman. Okay. Excellent. The coffee is here. Thank you, Roman.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

I hate to be a capitalistic pig, but Starbucks, I mean, a Pike's Place just. It fucking hits. It never. It's like a Diet Coke.

[Jennifer]

I just had Pavlov's, like, dog reactions. Right.

[Angie]

And I don't even drink coffee out.

[Jennifer]

Of my mouth watered a slightly.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Do you need some?

[Jennifer]

No, because I'm gonna play tennis a little bit later today, and I don't want my heart rate too elevated because I want to be able to rip forehands. But let's check in with the lesbians. Kylie? Yes? How are the lesbians? The lesbians are doing great. Okay, good. And I've got some reviews for you.

[Angie]

Okay.

[Jennifer]

This one is five stars. And they write during this Pride Month, MAGA should stand for Make Anal Great Again.

[Angie]

That is perfect.

[Jennifer]

We have the best listener.

[Angie]

We do.

[Jennifer]

We just do. Our listener is so clever and funny. It's so funny and right to it. Okay, who's next? Kylie. Okay, this one is five stars titled. I need clarification. And they write, Jessica, when you talk about the location where you are, are you saying buckle or butthole? Of the Bible Belt. Okay, so let me explain to Jonathan. A long time ago, somebody did send in a voice memo, and she referred to me as Jessica. Of course, Kylie immediately played it right. And of course, now it's stuck because it's a basic Gen X. Jennifer. Jessica, you know, so she calls me Jessica, but put that back up, Kylie. My location. The buckle of the Bible Belt. Or butthole. I think we should start going with butthole. I do.

[Angie]

I think they're interchangeable.

[Jennifer]

Millie and Colorado. I think that we change it officially in the permanent record. We need to update the permanent record, which we just gave Jonathan his own copy of.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

It's so cute.

[Jennifer]

The permanent record. We're going to change it from the Buckle of the Bible. Belt to the butthole of the Bible belt. All vote in favor, say aye. Aye. All opposed, say nay. Fuck you. Okay. All right. What? Oh, I have new stories to share. Stories to feed him. I love these. Okay. Put this up. Okay. A boyfriend who dated 35 women and told each one he had a different birthday so he regularly received gifts is arrested for fraud in Japan. In 2021, a Japanese man was arrested for fraud after allegedly dating 35 women simultaneously and deceiving them about his birthday to receive gifts. He reportedly told each woman a different birthday, leading them to give him birthday presents totaling approximately 100,000 yen. Wow.

[Angie]

See, I just don't think that's fraud. I mean, I mean, he sucks and I can't stand him, but. But I mean, it's kind of like, I don't think you should be arrested for that.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

If he would have done it to five people, then I would have been like outraged. Maybe even 10 or 12, 100. What's coming up for me is like, don't hate the player, hate the game. Like that is like he was giving you full time job, right? Like it wasn't even personal for him at that point. Like, that's outrageous.

[Jennifer]

No, it's outrageous.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

But you're kind of impressed. I hate it. I know.

[Angie]

I kind of hate it too. I am kind of in on it.

[Jennifer]

Here's what I have to say. I have to say about it. Think about how lonely people are. And he probably love bombed oh, for sure. And did all of the things. And when you, when you feel like you've been conned, especially when you have an affection for the Conner, the person that conned you, it's devastating. So I'm kind of for an arrest. I'm not talking about full time incarceration, but I am for a little bit of an arrest. A slap on the wrist and public outing that this man is a con artist payback that messes with lonely people's hearts. So I support the arrest, but wouldn't.

[Angie]

That mean catfishers have to go? I mean like if that logic.

[Jennifer]

I do.

[Angie]

I mean, I think the catfishers, but I'm kind not. Players hate the game. But like if you have a three year relationship with somebody you've never seen in person and you're sending them money, like, I kind of feel like that can't be on the person that's lying.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

I have two clarifying statements.

[Jennifer]

Okay, let's hear it.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

The one thing is I do align with you, but you know, it was the 5 to 12, like, you know, small. It just Feels like worse. The 100 feels like a little impersonal. But then I realized that I had a distractor part in my little personality come up because I didn't want to feel that pain of all those a hundred people. That's devastating. So my therapist says whenever I'm insensitive like that, that's really just this like distractor part that comes up because I don't want to feel those people's pain. But you're so right. Fuck that guy. He needs to pay the restitution. Pay those girls back, give them their stuff back. And maybe there were some gays and they say he deceived and conned as well in Japan and he needs to pay them back.

[Jennifer]

I completely agree. I just, I think that when you prey on lonely people and you love bomb them, the, the damage that does to the person that, that receives that, that trusted them. And he went out. He or she or they went out and bought a gift. Was excited about celebrating the birth.

[Angie]

Probably was excited.

[Jennifer]

And I just, I think a little public shaming there.

[Angie]

I like the public shaming order. I do.

[Jennifer]

Which is an arrest. Drag them into court. Put it in the daily Mail. Talk about it on I've had it podcast.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Yes.

[Jennifer]

Criminal record.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Pay them back.

[Jennifer]

That's right.

[Angie]

I think retribution.

[Jennifer]

Sound the siren. Sound the siren. Pumps. Have I told you about my new silhouette bra and power thong from Honey Love?

[Angie]

You have not told me about the thong, but I also have the silhouette bra and I love it. I have the super power bottoms, I.

[Jennifer]

Have the power thong and I'm telling you these bras and these panties are a absolutely no notes and listener. Honey Love isn't just about bras. They've got shapewear, tanks, leggings, and they are just as comfortable and supportive. Honey Love's best selling superpower short is an absolute, absolute must have. It has targeted compression technology that distinguishes between areas where you want more support and areas where you need less compression. Plus, the best part is it won't ever roll up or down thanks to flexible boning hidden in the side seams. Listener, treat yourself to the most comfortable and innovative bras on earth and save 20% off site [e-mail] had it. Use our exclusive link to get 20% off honeylove.com had it. After you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you. Experience the new standard in bras with Honey Love. Some might say homes.com is the best home shopping site. Could it be because it has a sleek spam free site or the most in depth school info. Homes.com knows every parent wants the best for their kids, so they're the only ones with school and district details and reviews from multiple sources, including niche. It may be homes.com's super comprehensive and transparent agent directory. Or Maybe it's that homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home best. Perhaps it's because homes.com has the most most in depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site that's extensively researched to highlight the personality of each neighborhood. Homes.com has 22 data visualization layers, seven environmental layers, and allows you to search by commute and architectural factors. It's the home search you've been searching for. Go to homes.com today for home shopping the way it should be. Homes. We've done your homework listener. I have to tell you, when Pumps and I started this podcast, I mean it was incompetence and ignorance combined and we could not have done anything without partnering with Shopify. It was what helped us completely get a whole merch page and all other sorts of things that helped us launch this podcast.

[Angie]

What I loved about Shopify is they had so many different tools to use and you feel like there's a whole market.

[Jennifer]

Accelerate your content creation. Shopify is packed with helpful AI tools that write product descriptions, page headlines, and even enhance your product photography. If you're ready to sell, you're ready to Shopify. Turn your big business idea into With Shopify on your side, sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling [e-mail] had it. Go to shopify.com had it. Shopify.com had it. Okay, next up, people are tipping less because they are fed up with the tipping culture. The average restaurant tip has dropped to 19.3%, the lowest it's been in six years, according to new data. Researchers say the decline reflects growing consumer frustration with what many now call tipping fatigue. And I think this is 100% true. And the first thing I want to say is I 1 million percent blame corporations and Congress for allowing consumer exploitation so that the corporations don't pay people a livable wage. So you're exploiting the consumer and the worker. And I do feel tip fatigue. But at the same time I waited tables in college. I was a hostess at restaurants. I remember being dead ass broke and those tips are everything because waiters only make $2 an hour, which has been.

[Angie]

Since we were waiters. Yeah, yeah. I always here's my thing. I feel the tip fatigue, but I know other people do. And so my codependency. I'm tipping more now.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

I am too make up for it.

[Angie]

I'm so thoughtful because I'm like, they're probably not getting tip more. And like people that stand up to order and I hear people about the tip. I always go full tilt on that because I'm like, they're working their asses off just like everybody else.

[Jennifer]

And they're making. Because in this state especially, they won't raise the minim wage. They demonize the poor, but claim like they're big maggot Christians. And everybody knows they're hypocrites. But even the workers who are making minimum wages, the registers now I'm with pumps and I'm tipping the 25% option.

[Angie]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

However, we can afford to do this, right? Can't.

[Angie]

Right.

[Jennifer]

A lot of people, the majority of Americans. And why there's so much anger and polarization is because inflation has gone up, but wages haven't. So people may want to take tip. They simply can't see.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

I think that's what's happening. Yeah, that's true. I feel like it's not even necessarily that people are probably like, oh, I don't. I'm sick of tipping. These people, I feel like they probably, like, want to have their experience, but they just don't have, like, they want to go out to dinner, but they don't have, you know. And a 19 average is still better than, like, less. But I. I think you're really hitting on a huge point there, which you like. Even in the states where they've like, made it illegal to like, pay below minimum wage for service industry people, like a waiter has to get at least, you know, minimum wage and tips. Minimum wage is $7.25.

[Angie]

It's not enough.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

You just, I mean, you cannot live on that. And in any, like, I feel like top hundred city, like top hundred in population city. That's not gonna be enough to like, live on.

[Angie]

You can't even live like on minimum wage in Oklahoma.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

But I feel like Oklahoma City probably is one of the top hundred biggest cities in the country.

[Jennifer]

It is. I think it's even like top 25. I think it's the top 25.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

When I moved to Austin, I didn't know this, but I like googled it. I remember it's like 2020. And I was like, what am I gonna do? And then I was like, let me google to see how big Austin is. It was the 11th it's 11 figures in the country. I was like, wow, who knew?

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Which kind of makes me feel like maybe our country doesn't have like that much population because Austin really doesn't feel that big when you live there.

[Jennifer]

Well, I think that what it is is there's, there literally are two Americas, there's big city America where people live around diversity and you learn how to compromise and you learn how to accept and it makes you better and it makes you more accepting. And then you have rural America where they've really been forgotten. The only culture they have are their Bible studies. And then they all politician has to do. I call this Christian signaling. What? Carolyn Caroline, KKK Levitt and Kristi Noem, the cosplayer. They wear the big cross and lie, lie, lie. They accuse liberals of virtue signaling. They are Christian signaling. And they just signal out to rural America to where these churchgoers say, oh well, she's got a cross on. She wouldn't lie. She loves Jesus. She's a good Christian girl, Jonathan. She would never ever, ever tell a lie.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Wait, did you guys see that thing on that those tick tock things are going viral this week where the people are singing. That one Christian song was like, whoa, my God would not fail. And they're like praising God is like ice is like ripping kids away from like yeah, like so that is true. And that was like an, it was like a funny meme. Even though it's like a tragic situation. But here's the thing about Christian music that pisses me off. Sometimes it's like really catchy. Like sometimes I'll be like, what is this song? I'm like, that's like, should be something I've had. I would like my, my follow up. I I it with this Christian music. You're like, damn, this is like what is this song? And then they're like Jesus like, oh, okay.

[Jennifer]

It's a bait and switch.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

It is.

[Jennifer]

It is a bait and switch.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

They would do it to me. Some sister act too.

[Kylie]

Yes.

[Jennifer]

And you know that's such a component of Christianity, the recruitment, you know, it's like the multi level marketing religion. The aspect of the recruitment is wild. It is so wild.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Well, because when you're six, I grew up in the church, like very religious and I mean I was a little kid and I remember like being told like if you just, you don't go and convert people like they're gonna burn in hell. So I mean I remember like I met this one like really nice Canadian at this pool at this like when I was like seven and I was like, are you Christian? And she was like, the hell? Like, is this little 7 year old gay kid talking to me about faith? And I was like, and, and then I remember just being like, you would? Like I don't. But they tell you when you're a really small child that if you don't go get everybody to accept Jesus in their heart, then they're gonna burn in hell. And you're meeting all these people, you're like, oh my God, you're so nice. I don't want you to burn in hell.

[Jennifer]

Which is abuse. It is abuse to do that to children.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

And then when you realize you're gay and then you're in this space, like that's like extra, like super. Yeah, I feel like I. It was really.

[Jennifer]

Did you deconstruct your faith?

[Jonathan Van Ness]

What does that mean?

[Jennifer]

So like there's this whole. Because we are in the butthole of the Bible, right? Like Southern Baptist, hellfire, damnation. And a lot of people that we know were kind of indoctrinated into religion and now there's this movement called the X exvangelical where people actually deconstruct their faith. And what's identified that these event evangelical churches do is really a form of child abuse. They emotionally blackmail these kids to tell them if you're not good or if you think this or if you question anything, you will burn in hell forever. That's abusive. To tell a child that if they think about kissing another, a boy or something. That's just, it's crazy. So a lot of people have suffered religious trauma and have had to deconstruct their faith to find serenity because the parameters of evangelical Christianity are so hypocritical and cruel For a thinking person, it's a difficult place to live.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Absolutely. I think that's also like when I try to talk to this about like my mom who's like goes to a church, it's not like this. And like, I mean they're like doing soup kitchens, they're reaching out. They're not like promoting this like trumpy sort of thing. But I think that a lot of those churches, what they do need to work on is that when we have these types of conversations they get kind of defensive and they're like, well that's not what we're doing. And, and they're really as opposed to meeting the like what their cohort, what other cohorts of Christians are doing. They're like trying to fight us on being like, well we're not doing that. And that's okay. Like, I'm not saying that Christians are bad. Like, Christianity is like, it's a beautiful faith, it's a beautiful spirituality. But Christian nationalism and evangelical Christianity is not all of Christianity. There's a lot of queer Christians, right? Like, there's. And there. It's a really big amount of people. So I just, I do think that, like, Middle American Christians, like, Christian light.

[Jennifer]

Oh, you've got like Christian light people. But here's my argument to that. We, we talk about this a lot on the show. And a lot of times commoners will say they're not real Christians. Well, it's the same thing that MAGA says about all of us. You're not real Americans. Well, the fact of the matter is we are real Americans. And the fact of the matter is these evangelicals and hardcore fundamentalists, they believe that they are Christians. So the most credible messenger to approach these cult like Christians isn't me, the atheist. That's a layup. It's the Christian light people that are inside the Death Star to say you have completely contorted and hijacked a religion that's about compassion, social justice, forgiveness. Jesus spoke out against the accumulation of wealth, yet you worship and vote for a party that worships accumulating wealth. Make it make sense. Incredible messengers coming from within the Christian movement would be much better to attack because now that the Republicans for decades now have brought Christianity to the epicenter of American politics, we got to call it every fucking one of them. Moses, Mike Johnson, that little queen, J.D. vance, that little queen all. Every Josh Hawley. Did you see his little gay with the kicker for the chain?

[Jonathan Van Ness]

I can't stand it. But I will say I did a very shameful bit about this in my last set. I hate to say it. If I saw Josh Hawley in a steam room, there's some. Not hit it. Like, I don't want to hit it, but I am intrigued by the size of his Adam's apple. I feel I find it very large. I find it like, well placed. And yeah, I hate to say it. And you know, and this is another bit that I said. I was like, I was like, they always want to talk about biology. Let's talk about biology. I'm biologically attracted to Josh Hawley. Okay. I don't, I didn't mean to, like, I didn't wake up and say, like, hey, I want to find Mitt Romney hot. And I think Josh Hawley's got a great fucking face and a real cute Adam's apple. But you Know what's interesting about that? They both do have gay faces. If you put them in, like, a different little outfit, they could totally like. I just feel like they could. Yeah.

[Jennifer]

All right. I have been hanging out with gay men since I was 18 years old. Okay. Used to get my scissors out, cut a rag at the gay bars every Thursday, Friday, Saturday nights. Okay. Had a blast. I have world class gaydar. Okay. I get gaydar pings big time. When we. When Josh Hawley is on, it's just like, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. I mean, it's a solid beep.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Well, doth protest too much or whatever.

[Angie]

That's what we always say. The people that are protesting so much, it's because they are on Grindr at the Republican National Convention.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Yes. That's. I mean, wow. What a time to be alive.

[Angie]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

And then think about. We call the speaker of the House, Mike Johnson. We call him Moses Mike Johnson because he said on tape, God woke him up in the middle of night and said, hey, you're Moses. He said this out loud.

[Angie]

He's on video.

[Jennifer]

On video.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

No. Yeah.

[Jennifer]

Yes. And this is. You have dipshit trump smokey eye sociopath JD Vance, and then Moses Mike. That's the order.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

He's like, full on, like. Like a fucking Paula White, like, raging net.

[Angie]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

But you know what? His life's work has been in these Pray the Gay Away, which are absolute emotional torture chambers for the LGBTQ + community. He, his life work, and his wife's life work has been to set up these Pray the Gay away torture camps for members of the LGBTQ + community. And I just have to say this. As a straight person, I rarely think about gay sex.

[Angie]

Never ever.

[Jennifer]

I don't even think sitting around. I sit and think about gay people that much. Much unless they come. I have a lot of gay people in my life. Then I'm like, oh, yeah. But it's amazing to me how much the Republican Party projects onto us. You guys talk about gender, you guys talk about pronouns, you guys talk about woke stuff. No, the only aspect we talk about that is they get the same rights as we do. We're not leaving them behind. They're the ones who are so hyper fixated on pronouns, genitals, rainbow flags. And they're so triggered by all of it.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

They are. I wait, I don't know if this is, like, too much of a subject change, but it's kind of on the same thing. But this is. I just came to me last night.

[Jennifer]

Let's Hear.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Let's workshop it. Okay. So I was thinking about, like, Megan Kelly, who Sidebar. My ADHD is going to win right now. She's changed her bronzer in the last three to six months. And I need to stop saying this, like, in public because, like, I don't want to give her a compliment. Especially after saying that I like Josh Holly's like Adam's apples. What's going on over here?

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

But I feel like she changed her bronzer and it for the first time in her whole adult life is like, probably pretty. Like, she has, like, pretty bronzer for the first time. And I just. Whatever gay betrayed us or person and taught her about that. Jesus probably sees you. Okay. Or like. Or karma or something. Okay. So it's not good. But the thing I was thinking is, like, she has been. Her and like, Riley Gaines have just been in, like, the whole Simone like, thing that happened. And so they claim this whole thing about, like, they are the purveyors of protecting women's spaces. I cannot tell you how many times because I talk about abortion access a lot and reproductive health care a lot. I'm really passionate about Planned Parenthood. That's where I found out that I have hiv. I also just did this episode of my pot about menopause and found out that they also treat for, like, perimenopause menopause. Like, Planned Parenthood is doing the Lord's work helping so many people that don't have access to health care. So. But they're painting themselves like the protector of women. So many people like them say, well, it's just states, right? Rights like abortion getting overturned wasn't that big of a deal. It's just states rights. There are women that are in abusive relationships, are getting stuck in abusive marriages, relationships being forced into birth. This is like lifelong economic. I don't have to tell you guys about it. Like, it's a huge issue. And so just for people to position themselves is so upset about trans inclusion in sports when we're talking about protecting women's spaces. But we live in a country that's forcing millions of women into birth. Georgia keeps women on life support if they are pregnant. Like, women have died already. And we're not even being hyperbolic when we say this. Like, there is not clear guidance on this. And so I just think another thing that we. But it doesn't really do good for me like a raging queer to like, scream about it because it's already true. And. Or I. I find this true. I think other people do. But what you were saying earlier about, like, we need this message coming from Christians. If you are a Christian and you think that this is accurate, if you're a woman and you think that it's really hypocritical of someone like J.K. rowling or Megyn Kelly to speak in rage about women's only spaces. Call that out in the comments. Like, I just see too many times, like online where like these pylon against queers and against trans people or against people who are speaking out for them. Get in there. Like, people getting in there and being like, no, put a stop to this. Like, this is outrageous.

[Jennifer]

I agree.

[Angie]

Yeah, I think you're 100% right. And it's amazing to me that Megyn Kelly, who has been treated so pitifully over at Fox News, like sexism, misogyny, Donald Trump said horrible things to her, and now she's fucking radicalized. And Jennifer and I talked about it and I was like, do you think she. She's radicalized or you think she's just saying this because she knows she can make money and you thought she's radicalized, right?

[Jennifer]

I kind of feel like she is because the hatred that she has towards the trans community is so vitriolic and so horrific. And knowing that she has children and knowing my experience of growing up that everybody, when they went to school or were on a playground at places, you always saw the boys, boy that didn't quite fit the stereotypical definition of a boy that might have seemed a little bit effeminate. And then you remember, I remember playing on the playground with the girl who seemed like a tomboy. So this is not a new thing that people don't fit into this binary choice. We've all experienced it. So it brings you to this moment where you have a choice. You can be a dick or you can be cool. And I want to choose to be cool. I want to say you get to have the same rights that I have. And the more the trans community gets bullied and the more centrist Democrats try to align to bully trans people, the matter I get because either freedom is for everybody or it's not. And so as a progressive person, it's a hill I will die on. The most marginalized people right now in this country are trans people. Then you get to black trans woman, and the marginalization is off the chart. So why, why do you want to be addict to these people? Why?

[Jonathan Van Ness]

I think I know what Megan Kelly's deal is. Okay, so she got her. When she got her Today show, fourth hour, and then when she got let go from it, she got, like, a huge amount of money. And as someone who went from having, like, not that much money to, like, a lot more money, quick, let me tell you something. There's this little thing called, oh, overhead. So I think what she did is she spent so much fucking money and got her lifestyle to such an expensive point that she's like, what the fuck am I going to do now? I either got to keep. I got to find some way to keep this going because she was making, like, 10, 20 million a year. Like, right. Huge, huge money. How can you get yourself really rich in the last few years? Be a nut and make a podcast where you are rage baiting women into thinking that their rights are being stripped into that. Trans people are attacking you into that. Gay people are, like, ruining the fabric of this nation. She's attacking, attaching herself to all of this, like, what does Leah Lippman call it? Like, Republican grievance, like, mindset? She's tapping into that so well. So I think that part of it is probably that she is radicalized, but I feel like another part of it. She's very astute.

[Angie]

Business grifter, right?

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Yeah. She just. She sees an opportunity. She's not getting hired by NBC ever again. She's not getting hired by Fox News ever again. So once you get canceled, like, truly canceled the way that she was, no mainstream person's gonna work with her again. So that's why she's had to. To, like, you know, just completely bend the knee to Donald Trump, who literally, mercilessly attacked her.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, totally.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

But she had to bend the knee to Maga because that was the only people that she could align herself with to pay her bills and make her continue her richness.

[Angie]

That's smart.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

That's Megan. That's what it is. Sorry I clocked you, but I did say that you have good bronzer, but your extensions have not caught up to your bronzer yet.

[Angie]

No, I agree. There's nothing that screams extensions more than a woman my age with hair. Pastor Boobs, like, I know you. I'm 55. I do have extensions. I keep them right here because my hair was falling out.

[Jennifer]

I'm a lot younger. I don't have extensions.

[Angie]

You have perfect hair. I don't want to hear about it. I don't want to hear about it.

[Jennifer]

But here's what is so rich about Megan Kelly and Riley Gaines and others. You know, Caroline Levitt acting like they care about women is so fucking rich, it pisses me the fuck off. You Wouldn't even have these jobs without aggressive women fighting for your fucking right. The year I was born, 1974. Much later than the year she was born. No, not much later. Let me just tell you women, that was the first year that women could get a credit card in their own. This blows my mind. In their own name. And these women, forget about that.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Your dad's had to sign board today.

[Jennifer]

Yes.

[Angie]

You couldn't own a home in your own name.

[Jennifer]

And that is. It's just insane. You're aligning. Here's the problem that all of these people, when they play patty cake with fascists. Scott, Betty, that queen, that's Secretary of treasury over there. You join parties with the anti gay party, before you know it, those daggers are going to be aimed right at you. You will be the first on the chopping block. Elon Musk just found out Steve Bannon said let's deport him. So when you are an immigrant and you align yourself with the anti immigration administration, you think you're going to be safe and you think you're going to be the exception. You're going to fuck around and find out me, Kelly, and all these fucking women that are aligning themselves with the anti woman party, they, they will come for you too. And that's why you don't give an inch. You don't seed one person's civil liberties. You don't see the trans. You don't seed it because they will come for you too.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Yes. Okay, wait. You know what? Also the things you think of just speaking of Elon Musk, because you brought him up. Okay. You know how you're talking about that? A billion's a thousand million.

[Angie]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

So he paid 274 million and even said so himself on I can't call it X, I still like to call it Twitter. Yeah. So he said that he spent 274 and without him, Kamala would be in. The Democrats would have a 51 to 49 Senate and the Democrats would probably control the House. So he was basically saying like I did buy the election. Like I just fully admitting and owning that I, I fully bought this election for you. Well, I can't believe. And not to sound like super crazy, like richer, like elitist, but it was only 2, 700 or it wasn't even a billion. Like an American president, like you can just do it for 274. Like that doesn't seem like.

[Jennifer]

Seems like a bar.

[Angie]

Donald Trump is the cheapest motherfucker on the planet.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

He's got 450 billion right let's talk about this.

[Jennifer]

What would the cost be in gaming the algorithm? There's a lot of earned money in there. So Elon bought Twitter for how much? However many?

[Angie]

44.

[Jennifer]

And then he gamed the algorithm. And I believe with everything in me, Jonathan. And pumps. I believe with everything in me the support of MAGA is exaggerated via these rigged algorithms from Elon.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Musk.

[Jennifer]

Musk. I've been neutered. Mark Zuckerberg and Putin. I think that they have these troll farms and I think they. A lot of the stuff that you see, the anti trans stuff, and it, it feigns a lot of support. Now are there bigots in America? 100%. Are there tens of millions of bigots in America? A hundred percent. But I think when you see these marches and you see people come out, you always see more people marching against him than for him.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

That is so true.

[Jennifer]

Always.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

That is so true.

[Jennifer]

I have another news story.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Tell us.

[Angie]

Okay, one more.

[Jennifer]

All right, put this up. Dogs develop similar personalities to their owners. New study finds. A new study from Michigan State University found that dogs often develop personalities that closely match their humans. From being outgoing and curious to anxious and sensitive thoughts.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Jonathan, I think that's very not true because my dog is little, a little barky and a little anxious for the first three minutes. He's a little standoffish and I'm nothing like that. So I think that's fake news, but it's probably true.

[Jennifer]

What about your husband? Is he that way for the first three minutes?

[Jonathan Van Ness]

No, he's really good and, and he's friendly.

[Jennifer]

Okay, what about the post three minutes then?

[Jonathan Van Ness]

He's so lovely. If you just ignore Elton for like three minutes. He like wants to be your best friend, but if you like. And my other theory on Elton is he's tiny. Like he's like little boy. So I just feel like everyone looks huge to him cuz he's. Cuz our big dogs are. We have two big dogs and they love everybod. They're very licky cute, like not standoffish. So we're cool.

[Angie]

Yeah, I think, I think the world does look when you're that low. I bet it does look big, look crazy. Okay, here's the thing. I'm afraid that's right because I have a girlfriend from college. She got a dog the same time I did. She's super laid back, go with the flow, never causes a problem. Her dog is the easiest dog on the planet. My dog is a nut. We've been through three trainers. I can't and I know it's me. So I'm afraid that that's right.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

I think it is, too. And I am, too. Yeah. It's my fault.

[Jennifer]

Yeah. Yeah. Pumps, his dog. His name is Oliver Glizzard. Here's the problem. For Oliver Glizzard, dogs need a pack leader. And so when Pumps abandoned Oliver Glizzard over Christmas break and took her kids to Europe, she was going to be boarded, and not on my watch.

[Angie]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

So I took in all of her glasses, Blizzard, and I took him to my house, and he was a perfect angel. That is true. I had him trained. We had him using the doggy door. Everything was on the up and up. And then my dark. My dearest friend Pumps comes back into town, and all hell breaks loose yet again with Oliver Glizzard. And we're upping the private training lessons. She's talked about sending him to boarding school, but if Oliver Glizzard marched in this office right now, he'd be running around.

[Angie]

He would do it. You.

[Jennifer]

I said, oliver, sit. He would do it immediately.

[Angie]

Because, dog, I'm a soft touch. I'm.

[Jennifer]

Maybe. Maybe instead of paying for Oliver Glizzard to have training, we could send you to pack leader school. Maybe I need to get a pack school.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Pops, it's your. It's. It's. You have to, like. Did you know your voice went a little. You have to, like, get a little lower in your voice. It really is a thing.

[Angie]

And I talk to him like he's a baby.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Oh, my God. And you know what our trainer told us? Allegra? She told us that, like. Because, like, dogs, they don't speak anything English, right? So they only hear, like, tones and pitches. So if you take away the English and you're talking high voice, what does it sound like? They think you're injured. So they're really stressed because they think that they have to take care of you. Like, they think that there's something wrong. Whereas the reason that the dog trusts you is because you're like this. That dude.

[Angie]

So that is brilliant.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

So you just. Because that. That's more assertive, so you can't be up here. And that's a thing with Elton, because people do the thing that you should never do to a dog, which is put your head in their face and go. They literally think that you're, like, a gigantic, injured dog, like, freaking out at their. At their. At them.

[Angie]

You know, game change information. Truly, it really is.

[Jennifer]

This is one of the more enlightening conversations we've had.

[Angie]

Yes.

[Jennifer]

Podcast. Because pumps does have a tendency. Sometimes I have to tell her, like, when she gets wound up, she really starts talking.

[Angie]

Like, yes, I do.

[Jennifer]

Pumps think about the listener with their little pods, and she's like, oh, you're right.

[Angie]

You're right.

[Jennifer]

I do that. But with Oliver Glizzard, I mean, it's really bad. So he thinks you're injured, right?

[Angie]

I need to. And he does get. The one time I get mad, like, I get stern with him is when he goes and tries to get the toilet paper off the toilet paper roll.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Oh, we're not having it.

[Angie]

And I will say, ollie, stop it. And he stops it immediately.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

It's the tone of my. That was a more grounded tone.

[Angie]

Okay. Oh, my gosh. This could be a game changer. Which is a good thing, because every. I've convinced myself that it's because he's an only child and I've ruined him. So I've given him a sister in July fly.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Oh.

[Angie]

To make him a sibling.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Well, that always works.

[Angie]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

I did it three times. Yeah. Yeah. It's. It's been. It's been really low stress.

[Angie]

Oh, I know. Jennifer's like, you're gonna have to get it.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

You'll have to drop it a couple octaves. Yeah. Like, you gotta get it down there.

[Jennifer]

She's got to.

[Angie]

Yeah, no, that's okay.

[Jennifer]

Before we play had it or Hit it, I want to talk about the Vice President of the United States, because I believe we are about a new cycle away from him popping a smokey eye. And I wanted your take on this. Yeah.

[Angie]

What do you think?

[Jonathan Van Ness]

This is my long. I've thought about this a lot, you guys. Okay. Is happening with these lashes. Is it a little mascara wand? What is it? An eyeliner?

[Angie]

Extensions?

[Jonathan Van Ness]

You know what I think it is? I think it's a good old fashioned lash tint from like 2004, just like in beauty school. And we would just, like, tint each other's lashes and brows with this, like, kind of like non super chemically one. It lasts like four to six weeks. Just like a classic lash tint. That's what I think he's doing. I think it's a lash tint.

[Jennifer]

Have you seen the liner?

[Jonathan Van Ness]

I don't think that's liner. I think it's f ing lash tint, you guys. Because when you first do it, it kind of like dribble drabbles, like on the base a little bit. So it does look a bit. Little bit, like, smudgy. I just. I can't picture him doing A daily liner. But I can picture him having Usha tend his lashes.

[Jennifer]

Let me ask you this. When he gets home from work from, you know, dicking around with all the beta males, teeny weeny parade, titty baby parade that goes on at the White House, right? He gets home to the Naval Academy or whatever, what is it called? The Naval Observatory. Observatory. And Usha's there and the kids are there. Do we think that maybe he might go in the bathroom, put a feather boa or something around his neck? I get that vibe from him. I get, I get that he wants to go home and like, JV in it. I get, I think he's dying to express himself the way you do. Without shame, without fear, with utter pride. I get that vibe from him.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

I. I don't. But I do get this vibe. I think that, like, honestly, a lot of the toxic masculinity and anger that comes from the like, religious right conservatives is because they can't freely express that they do want to have their buttholes explored.

[Angie]

Right?

[Jonathan Van Ness]

By their wives, by their girlfriends. And if they do, then they're like gay and they're into gay stuff. And so I do feel like we have to. Like, that really is what I think is going on. I think that, like, he probably just wants Usha to like, toss his salad, give him a little. Probably just wants her to go fucking spelunking in his. But he doesn't know how to ask, so he's angry. So he's mad at the gays who do freely say to their partner, will you eat my ass? Like, you know what I mean? Like when I first met my husband, and that's like a really important conversation. Cause like, if you're not gonna eat my ass, I don't want this. Like, I feel like there's nothing more offensive to me than like not eating my ass. It's personal. Yes. And so I just think we're like, fuck these poor men. They've been married to these women, they've been dating these women, and we're not even eating each other's buttholes. It's a one way thing. Like, we're just like the girls. There are buttholes and vaginas eating. And sometimes not even. I think we have to normalize oral, butt and vagina and penis sex. Just oral, oral, oral. And it's fine if you want your butthole eaten and you're straight, you can be straight and get your ass eaten. You don't have to ruin everybody's lives.

[Angie]

Oh my God, I think you're Spot on.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

I really do, you guys. I'm doing a whole bit about it. I really, I really. Because I just think I would be so upset if I had not. Like, you should have saw the look on my face the first time. Okay, can I say it? Okay. The first time that my husband and I ever, like, finally did have sex. Because it took us like two weeks. Like, Mark, like, would not, like, do it right away because he, like, school. He really, like, two whole weeks.

[Jennifer]

I mean, in gay time, that's like a long time.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

And then the first time we did it, he did not eat my butt. And I was trying to hold it together. I almost cried. Like, I was like, oh, my God. He's like, just going straight there. He's like, not doing it. Like, this is just devastating. And so then after, afterwards, I was like, so what was up with that? Like, Dewey just like, are you just like one of those people that does it? And then he was like, oh, no, no, no, I do. I just, like, didn't know if you liked it. So I, like, wasn't I just like, I. You know, And I was like, oh, no, I love it. It's like a pre. It's like a requirement, you know?

[Jennifer]

Okay.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

But the anger and disappointment and sadness I would feel in my life if my butt had just been unexplored like that. I think I could be a maga Republican. Like, I. I bet I could just be so. Well, probably not, but I could sense the rage.

[Angie]

The rage would be under boiling.

[Jennifer]

I believe in all of that, too. But I also think that sometimes when men maga men watch porn, they might get more excited about the penis than they do the boobies or the vagina. And there's like an actor that maybe is well endowed and he's really working it well. And that's the. That's the thing that causes, you know, the rocket to blast off. And then the minute they stop the porn, they're like, oh, shit, that was gay. Because their eyes were on the penis when rubber was hitting the road. Not that they're. Not that they're gay, but sometimes something else might turn you on other than what you've been pitched is the only thing that can turn you on with is a vag and boobies.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Yes.

[Jennifer]

And so maybe they saw the penis and it turned them on. And then after their little bi curious.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Man, which is fine.

[Jennifer]

Who gives a shit?

[Jonathan Van Ness]

I do think we live in a society that doesn't welcome bi curiosity in men the way that it does in women. Like, I feel like that's the one area in all of our culture that like women may have like an easier navigable course. It's like not. You're not like, I just like, women can be like, oh, yeah, I've like been curious or like I've like looked at in another girl or another like woman's like breasts in the locker room and like that doesn't like that. Remember that episode of Sex in the City when.

[Angie]

Yes.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

It's like. And that's not seen as like an overtly gay thing or it's like not that big of a lifestyle thing.

[Jennifer]

If you like date because it turns on the patriarchy. Everything is centered around what's acceptable to the patriarchy. And lesbianism turns on the patriarchy.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Whereas if you're a white man being into a guy, you're betraying the patriarchy.

[Jennifer]

So they want a little circle jerk with Josh Hawley in the sauna at.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

The Wine can be so life affirming. It could be for him.

[Jennifer]

It really could.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Yeah. It's like, don't be mad.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Just jerk off with.

[Jennifer]

Flattered.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Yeah. With those like Republicans in Congress, like, if there's like a sauna on Capitol Hill, like they should, they should just start jerking off in there.

[Angie]

I bet you they do. I bet you that the naughtiest ones in Congress are the biggest Bible thumpers. That's the my thought.

[Jennifer]

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[Angie]

Exactly. And that's why there's Addie. It's the first FDA approved little pink pill for certain premenopausal women who are bothered by a low sex drive.

[Jennifer]

Addie helps bring back your libido. It helps you feel like yourself again.

[Angie]

Yes, it's real, it's researched. And it's not just part of getting older. It's something you can treat. Go to addie.com to learn more. A--Y-I.com addy or flibanserin is for premenopausal.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Women with Acquired Generalized Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder HSDD who have not had problems with low sexual desire in the past who have had low sexual desire. No matter the type of sexual activity, the situation or the sexual partner, this low sexual desire is troubling to them and is not due to a medical or mental health problem, problems in the relationship or medicine, Other drug use Addi is not for use in children, men or to enhance sexual performance. Your risk of severe low blood pressure and fainting is increased if you drink one to two standard alcoholic drinks. Close in time to your Addy dose. Wait at least two hours after drinking before taking Addi at bedtime. This risk increases if you take certain prescriptions, OTC or herbal medications, or have liver problems and can happen when you take Addi without alcohol or other medicines. Do not take if you are allergic to any of Addi's ingredients. Allergic reaction may include hives, itching or trouble breathing. Sometimes serious sleepiness can occur. Common side effects include dizziness, nausea, tiredness, difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, and dry mouth. See full PI and medication guide including.

[Angie]

Boxed warning at addi.addy a--y-I.com you know.

[Kylie]

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[Jennifer]

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[Jonathan Van Ness]

Yeah. I never want this to be over. I wish that you could get adopted after 18 and I know you guys like, aren't gay and you guys like, I have your own, like things. I just want you guys. I want to you guys to be my moms.

[Jennifer]

We're going to adopt you. It's official. Put it. Put it in the permanent record. As of this date right here, Jennifer and Pumps have adopted Jonathan Van Ness as our child. We have.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

I mean, it just felt so natural. I mean, literally. Can we tell the BTS story of. I got. Wait, cuz, what's your kid's name again?

[Jennifer]

Roman.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Roman. We love Roman so much. So Roman picked us up this morning to come pick us up or for to come here. And I unprovoked. I was like, Roman. I was like, so what's your deal? Where are you in school? He's like, I just graduated high school. I'm like going to go to college. And I was like, do not do cocaine, okay? They all tell you that. Like, it's just so easy to party and go to classes. It's not focus on school. That money doesn't grow on trees, honey. And you can just. I got a 1.7 GPA my first year in college. I got all Fs and one B. And the only reason I got a B is because I helped my English teacher source her marijuana. Okay? So do not do that, okay? Your mom has worked so hard. She's gonna be so excited for you, but just focus on the school, okay? You got the rest of your twenties to go party. So I just felt like it was like. It's just felt so dare. It felt so familial. I just immediately felt like part of the group. Siblings immediately.

[Jennifer]

The older siblings immediately.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

I just don't want him to make the mistakes that I made in college.

[Angie]

Yeah, exactly.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

So I made sure to tell him.

[Jennifer]

I know.

[Angie]

I'm so glad you did.

[Jennifer]

And even once they arrived, then he expanded it to fentanyl.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Oh, yeah, well, yeah, I mean, that fent. Well, actually, I did say that in the car. I was like. And plus, you never know if the cocaine has something else in it. And then you know what Roman said I provoked. He said that fent is serious. And I was like, oh, my God, he knew the abbreviation. I don't. Yeah, fence. I was like, I'm gonna say that now. No, because that's like what? Like the people who know.

[Angie]

That's what the cool people say.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Fent.

[Jennifer]

Fent.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

You know, like, fent. It'll end your life.

[Jennifer]

Uh huh.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

Okay, are you ready?

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Yes.

[Jennifer]

Oh, my God. Welcome to had it or hit it. I would hit it, had it. I hit it every day. Sometimes twice a day. Had it or hit it. Hair color names.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

I hate these. Hair color. The hair color trend. The cowboy copper. The, like, old money blonde. I'm over it. Like, I've been doing hair long enough that, like, I was there for the invention of the money block piece. It was like, circa 2010. I'm tired of these trends. Okay? Let's just look at pictures and agree on what you want. And why does everything have to be a stupid trend name?

[Angie]

No, I agree. And aren't. Isn't color like 1, 2, 3. Like, real hair? Yeah. Okay. Because that's my guy. When he matches mine, he's like an eight.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Like stroke one, two, or whatever. Right?

[Angie]

I never hear the names.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, okay. Had it or hit it. The hand heart emoji.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

I'm kind of moved past this, and now I'm really into this. This. What is that Italian one? This is the South Korean. It's this. It's about this story. It's like a little heart. See that little heart right there? It's this. It's this.

[Jennifer]

Oh, I see it. Okay.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

Oh, yeah, I do that.

[Angie]

Good.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

They. They do like this. I. I learned it from figure skating. Because all, like, the South Korean skaters.

[Jennifer]

Will be like, okay, wait a second. And you. I follow you on Instagram. Everybody follow at jvn. He's Great follow. It is. But you, like, you do gymnastics, you do skating? Yes, you do.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Are.

[Jennifer]

You're playing pickleball now?

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Now, yes.

[Jennifer]

And you. Have you started play tennis yet?

[Jonathan Van Ness]

I grew up playing a little bit of tennis, but then I kind of. I just.

[Jennifer]

It's.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

It's so much harder than pickleball, and I just get so many more ground strokes in pickleball. I just, like, play more. But I do love tennis. I'm a huge tennis fan. I literally have the tennis channel on my phone. I watch every single tournament between the Grand Slams. Like, I could. I'm like, really a dork for it. Like, I read like tennis365.

[Angie]

Same genetically inherited it from Jennifer.

[Jennifer]

It's. It's. You got this from your younger mother.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Who's your favorite? Who's your favorite? Like, like a top. Top tour. Top three tour players right now on the tour.

[Jennifer]

Right now, right this second. I'm going to go.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Or should have been. All time.

[Jennifer]

Let's do all time.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Okay. Yeah.

[Jennifer]

All time. I am going to go number one, Rafael Nadal.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Oh, yeah. So classic. I did see him play in 2019 at the US Open. In real life. Not to be a.

[Jennifer]

Yeah. We, my husband and I are tennis tourists. Like, we go.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Have you been all the.

[Jennifer]

Everyone except for Australia. And we were even at my number two player of all time. We were even at his retirement in London at the labor cup, which is Roger Federer. Now my husband and I get in long, drawn out conversations because my husband, gay, loves Roger Federer.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

That's it. So normal.

[Jennifer]

I mean, just. I mean, it just deeply loves Roger. And I'm splitting hairs here, but I give my. My love a little edge more to Rafa.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Yeah, me.

[Jennifer]

So. Okay, so Rafa, then Roger. And then I would say that I'm going to throw in a next gen as my number three. And I'm to throw in Carlos Alcaraz. Vamos.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Oh, I think he's so cute. He's so cute, darling.

[Jennifer]

Such a great ambassador for tennis.

[Angie]

Agree.

[Jennifer]

Okay, what's your three of top three of all time?

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Serena is definitely number one on question for me.

[Jennifer]

I thought we were just doing men. Oh, well, now I look like an.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

No, no. Do you want to go back? Do you want to go back? I. Mine just are all. My top three are just like. Definitely. I. I prefer women's tennis. I like watching it better. I don't have time for five sets in the Grand Slams. I got to do. To do.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Anyway. Okay.

[Jennifer]

Okay.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Number one is definitely Serena.

[Jennifer]

Love her.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Number Two. This is gonna be kind of, like, random, but I just always really loved her. Lindsay Davenport. I just think, like, she was, like, really giving me, like, a. I feel like. Because these girls at the French Open were saying, like, oh, well, there was never power. Like. Like. Like this Williams sisters really brought in power. And I was, like, kind of sleeping on Lindsay there.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Because Lindsay really did kind. She was, like, hitting poor little Steffi graph. And Monica sells all over the place. Okay.

[Angie]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Like, major. So I really like that Lindsay Davenport, and I pray to God that she's liberal. I met her at the US Open. She was not giving me Republican vibes. I just love a tall queen.

[Jennifer]

Okay.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

My third favorite, who I do think could end up being a numb. This is. I'm sorry. I love a bronze tie. I'm going for a bronze time. Officially doing a bronze time. Danielle Collins. I'm just obsessed with her.

[Jennifer]

I love Danielle Collins. When she told off that. When they were.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

You're too close.

[Angie]

Get your ass.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Get your fucking camera out of my fucking ass. Okay? I'm getting some fucking water. Okay.

[Jennifer]

Love her.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Get fucked. Okay. And shut the fuck up while I'm serving. How about that? Okay.

[Jennifer]

Somebody was trolling her while she was serving, and she goes, why don't you get your ass down here and serve it?

[Angie]

Oh, I remember. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jennifer]

Oh, my God.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

I just find her so classy, and I just think she's so stunning. And then Coco. I love Coco. I love Danielle.

[Jennifer]

I just love them both so much. Coco is so amazing. And I'm so happy that Serena has kind of an heir now. Me, too, because Coco is just. The way she composed herself during that French Open final was incredible. But I have to tell you, Sabalenka, sometimes when she goes crazy, there is this video of her at the US Open.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Oh, I know very well.

[Jennifer]

She gets back to the locker room. I watch it all the time, and she takes her tennis racket out and she beats the shit out of it. Then she just walks over to the trash can and she just throws it away. And there's something so psychotically satisfying about that.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

Coco would never.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

She has been growing. Sabalinka really had been growing on me. I saw her play at the US Open when she. She was ahead of keys and then came back from behind, but had a major racket sashing moment. And I thought it was, like, interesting then. So I was like, okay, I kind of like her. I like that she's just fully, like, in charge of her emotions. I'm into it. But I have to say, and you can edit this out if you don't want. This Apple link is coming for us. But I was so grossed out at her French Open press conference.

[Jennifer]

We're not editing.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

She kind of lost. I think she kind of lost a fan out of me. I really, I actually had followed. She was my first unfollow on TikTok. Really, I was following her on TikTok. And after that I was like, girl, I can't. I just that I found it so disgusting.

[Angie]

Such a poor loser.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

And also like coke, I. I have a big thing on, like, don't go for younger people. Like, don't pick on younger people. And Coco's like, I just find that extra gross. Like be the older, like be the bigger person. Like, that's so ick. Tell me the next thing. But then I have like a kind of related but unrelated thought that I feel. Okay, you guys, I have to tell you this cuz now you're saying that you just watched Saba link. It's like your comfort watch. I have a really good weird comfort watch that you guys need to know about. Everyone needs to know about this before we end.

[Jennifer]

Okay?

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Conor McGregor's sister had a dog walker. And on YouTube there is this very famous leaked voicemail where Conor McGregor's sister, who's like an Irish socialite, she stands the dog walker up for getting her dog groomed. So the voicemail starts off with the dog walker going, I just couldn't even be bothered with you, like standing me up for a second time. I didn't want to take you back, but your boyfriend made me take you take you back. And I said, no, she stood me up the first time. I don't want to give her another chance. Cause he'd be there on Instagram, fuck you getting your skincare and you're going all over town and there could be a tornado. You'd be there broadcasting, getting your fucking skin care and your fucking facials and you know you messed up and you didn't even come get your dog groomed. So I just couldn't even bother with you just fuck off. And she's like. And so she's like, tells her to fuck off. Then there's a quick pause. You can get this on YouTube. Just YouTube. Conor McGregor's sister's dog walker. It'll come up. Then you hear Conor McGregor's sister come on the line and it's. These are battling voice nails and someone like leaked it. And she says, hey, you deaf fuck, you think you are talking to Me like that. Do you know who? Do you. What the fuck? Talking about me and my fucking Instagram and me fucking hair. You know what? You have no idea about me in my life. I used to lip sync it at my old show. I used to, like, lip sync for my life for it. Like, imagine living room Olympian. When I feel sad, when I feel like my career is over, when I feel like I don't know what to do, I listen to this voicemail battle. It is, is so assuaging. You guys have to listen to it sometime.

[Jennifer]

Oh, my gosh.

[Angie]

The accent you do is fantastic.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

I've listened to it so many times.

[Angie]

I mean, like, Irish accent is good.

[Jennifer]

No, I, I. There's something. When there's something relatable about that. Like, I think everything is so curated right now. Right. And nobody ever shows a meltdown online. And sometimes inside, we're melting down.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Yes.

[Jennifer]

And it's just, there's something like, I. A hundred percent. I'm off the Sabalenka train. After she belittled Coco's victory. That's bullshit. And it really p me off because she was one of my favorite female tennis players. But she fucked with Coco. Coco earned it. She showed grace and everything.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

And it was 6, 2, 6, 4. It wasn't even close.

[Jennifer]

Like, straight sets.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

I mean, it was three sets because she took her in the corner set.

[Angie]

That's right.

[Jennifer]

But the, the, the beating of the racket and throw it in the trash can. There was something like, so relatable, like, Jeff is this instructor that I use all the time. And the other day, she's kept hitting winners past me, and I was just so fucking mad. I took my racket and I just threw it across the net. Mad at Jeff. And it felt so good. It didn't hit Jeff. I wanted it to hit Jeff. I pinned for it to hit Jeff. Sadly, it didn't hit Jeff. But sometimes there's just like that explosion that you just. There's something satisfying because everything's so curated and fake.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Yes.

[Jennifer]

Everybody has a mouth. Let's do two more.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Okay. Two more.

[Jennifer]

Okay. How did her hit at Cats?

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Oh, hit it. I have five.

[Jennifer]

Oh, I see them on your Instagram.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

I love them so much. Love. Yeah. Five. Larry, Eliza. Meow. Nelli. Genevieve. Oh, my God. Genevieve. Genevieve. Matilda. And bag. Baggy, tell him.

[Jennifer]

What if his cast name is Matilda?

[Angie]

Do you call her Tilly?

[Jonathan Van Ness]

We call her Tilly.

[Angie]

Tutors, my new little girl is going to be Matilda and call her Tilly. It's gonna be Matilda.

[Jennifer]

Denise, after Jennifer, my Middle name is Denise.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Oh, my God. My best friend's name is Denise.

[Angie]

Isn't that crazy?

[Jonathan Van Ness]

How's your best friend?

[Angie]

She's got to be heard. Like, you just don't.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

She's like mine. She's like, like 38.

[Jennifer]

Really?

[Angie]

That's young for Denise.

[Jennifer]

I've never really liked my middle name. And my husband tattooed it Denise on his arm. And now Pips is naming her dog because I know you have Matilda Denise. And so it's just like Denise is just going to live forever. Okay, last one. Jvn. Had it or hit it. The United States of America.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Well, loaded question. Because I'm non binary, I think that I'm allowed to say I've both had it. And I. I would hit it. And I think that's what makes America so amazing, is that you can say that you have fucking had it with these fucking people, but I still think we have potential or something, because if I didn't think we have potential, like, I have made it to a point in my life where, like, I just could leave if I wanted to. But I love America and I love the people here, and I've met so many incredible people. So mostly would hit it.

[Angie]

Yes, I like that answer. That's a great answer. And it's true. Because there's a part of the America that I'm so proud of, and then there's a part that I am just so upset by and disturbed by, and I feel like the worst part of America. Donald Trump has empowered and brought out in people. Like, otherwise, maybe pretty normal people have become radicalized for this man. So gross.

[Jennifer]

And I think this is the fight for us. All of the generations before us fought for civil rights, the suffrage, suffragettes, the end of slavery, all of these things. And this is our fight right now. And we could tuck and roll, but who would we leave behind? People we love, causes we cherish, causes we champion. Civil rights and human rights for people in your community. For women and all of these white women that are crazily aligning with the anti women because we've been fighting for them.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

And that's because they don't even know that we're fighting for them.

[Jennifer]

We're fighting for writing for Josh, Holly.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Yes. And your wife.

[Angie]

Poor thing.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Poor thing.

[Jennifer]

Okay, jvn, this is our favorite. I love you. You're so much.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Thanks for coming. I love you guys so much.

[Angie]

And you're gorgeous. I love your dress.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

You guys are so gorgeous. Thanks for having me.

[Jennifer]

Okay. All right, we'll see you. Pumps. Tell him.

[Angie]

Oh, we wanted to say about your new hairline.

[Jennifer]

Tell us about that. Yeah.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Yes. Well, so. Well, my hairline, she's like, she's well really. We just have our new dry shampoo.

[Angie]

Okay.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

I love the dry shampoo. My. My hairline is officially older than a quad. Like an Olympic cycle. Like I measure everything in Olympics and like we've been around since 2021 and I'm just so proud of us cuz we've survived so much. Our company's been so resilient and I'm so proud of our team. But we just launched our first dry shampoo and it's incredible. Took us three years to make, you know, like micellar water that takes your makeup off like on your. So we took the micelles from micellar water and that's what's powering our dry shampoo. So as opposed to just like packing a bunch of powder to absorb the oil and then it makes it of kind of like cakey, crusty. It's literally cleansing the oil from your head. It's gorgeous. It's so lightweight and it just makes your blo last forever. Like this is day four. Hair.

[Jennifer]

No.

[Angie]

Yeah, see, I will go three days and I have to dry shampoo the of it. And Kylie and I were just talking yesterday about we need a good dry shampoo. And then here you are.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Yes. We put rosemary in it for to increase scalp health. It's in this like medit. Oh, can I talk. This Mediterranean Sea algae that helps like balance your scalp if it's overly oily. But if it's dry, it will. It won't dry it out.

[Jennifer]

Love it.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

We're holistic sluts over at jvn. Hair.

[Jennifer]

I love it.

[Angie]

I love a slut. Love a good slut. All right, okay, thanks for coming. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

I love you guys.

[Jennifer]

We love you. I'll tell you what I've had it with.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

Let's hear it.

[Jennifer]

I've had it with that. Listen up patriots, gatriots and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called I hip News. It's Monday through through Friday. Every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America. Always served with a side of petty grievances.

[Angie]

We are on all the available platforms. Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcast and YouTube.

[Jennifer]

Please go rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind. Pumps. Pumps. What does an eagle say? Cacao. A little bit more enthusiasm. That's it. That's, that's. That's the patriotism that this country means right there.

[Jonathan Van Ness]

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