Cut the Apron Strings

Summary

Podcast Summary: "I've Had It" - Episode: "Cut the Apron Strings"

Podcast Information

• Title: I've Had It
• Hosts: Jennifer Welch and Angie “Pumps” Sullivan
• Release Date: January 2, 2025
• Description: Join Jennifer Welch and Angie “Pumps” Sullivan along with their special guests on “I’ve Had It” for a comedic, feel-good exploration of everyday frustrations you didn’t know you were fed up with!

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1. Introduction and Opening Grievances (00:00 – 02:18)

The episode begins with a humorous advertisement segment featuring Jennifer Welch promoting eHarmony. Jennifer humorously relates her binge-watching of rom-coms during the holidays to setting relationship goals, highlighting the importance of finding a genuine connection through eHarmony's compatibility quiz. This segment sets a lighthearted tone for the episode.

Notable Quote:

• Jennifer Welch (00:00): “That feeling of finding someone who gets you is what eHarmony is all about, because that's what true connection feels like. Being seen, heard, and understood.”

Following the ad, Angie briefly discusses the benefits of using the TurboTax app, ensuring listeners that filing taxes can be “100% free” even with multiple forms or jobs.

2. Personal Grievances: Online Shopping and False Advertising (02:03 – 03:52)

The hosts dive into their personal frustrations, starting with Angie expressing her exasperation with purchasing ineffective products from Instagram, specifically dog toys. She humorously laments ending up with a room full of unused dog toys due to deceptive advertising and the difficulty in returning such products.

Notable Quotes:

• Angie Sullivan (02:03): “I've had it with buying stuff off Instagram that doesn't work... I now have a room in my house dedicated to these toys for dogs that don't do what they're supposed to do.”
• Kathy (Jennifer Welch) (03:02): “Keeping going back and doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result, that's what therapists call the definition of insanity.”

The conversation highlights the common struggle with online shopping pitfalls and the tendency to fall for misleading advertisements, leading to unnecessary purchases.

3. The Burden of “Mama Heart” and Helicopter Parenting (04:03 – 33:50)

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing the societal pressures on mothers, particularly the concept of the “mama heart.” The hosts critique the unrealistic expectations placed on working mothers to excel both professionally and personally, often leading to stress and burnout.

Key Points:

• Balancing Work and Parenthood: Jennifer discusses the relentless challenge of meeting both career demands and family needs, emphasizing the absence of support systems for single or divorced mothers.

  Notable Quote:

  • Jennifer Welch (04:12): “Balancing work and family isn’t just hard; it’s sometimes unattainable. My personal life suffers if my work does well, and vice versa.”

• Helicopter Parenting in College: Angie and Kathy analyze the trend of parents excessively involving themselves in their college-aged children’s lives. They share excerpts from Facebook group posts where parents overstep boundaries, such as asking strangers to help with basic needs like water supply or requesting the installation of cameras in dorm rooms.

  Notable Quotes:

  • Kathy (06:12): “This is the pressure to be the super parent... The perfect mother doesn’t exist.”
  • Angie Sullivan (16:19): “If your biggest problem is your child doesn’t like the water, good for you. Most people don’t even have water.”

• Impact on Children’s Autonomy: The hosts argue that over-involvement stifles children’s ability to develop independence and self-advocacy skills, crucial for adulthood. They share personal anecdotes about encouraging their children to manage their own lives without constant parental interference.

  Notable Quote:

  • Kathy (26:24): “I can't imagine getting on a Syracuse University mom group... It’s about the child's autonomy and me stepping back.”

• Emotional and Mental Health: Both hosts touch on the lack of coping skills required to handle adulthood without excessive parental support. They emphasize the importance of setting boundaries to foster healthy, independent lives for their children.

  Notable Quote:

  • Angie Sullivan (09:01): “The lack of emotional and mental skills to deal with adulthood was fucking... It ran over me like a choo-choo train.”

4. Satirical Reviews and Self-Promotion (09:30 – 13:29)

In a comedic interlude, Jennifer reads out satirical five-star reviews for the podcast, highlighting their self-deprecating humor. These fake reviews poke fun at the hosts' perceived average status and quirky personalities, emphasizing their relatable and unpolished nature.

Notable Quotes:

• Angie Sullivan (10:00): “And he called me a horse. So I'm... Loved it. It's my favorite.”
• Kathy (11:20): “Our mama hearts are full... We are insecure. We're train wrecks. We think we're going to face plant any minute.”

The segment serves as both a humorous break and a playful encouragement for listeners to leave authentic reviews.

5. Whistleblowing on Toxic Parenting Practices (15:31 – 38:00)

Returning to serious topics, the hosts highlight disturbing examples of toxic parenting practices found in parent groups on social media. They read out real or fictional posts requesting excessive parental intervention in college students' lives, such as moving into dorm rooms or constantly monitoring academic performance.

Key Points:

• Inappropriate Requests: Parents in these groups make unreasonable demands, showcasing a lack of understanding of adult autonomy.

  Notable Quote:

  • Kathy (16:19): “If your biggest problem in your life is that your little Johnny... the fact that you would post it on the Internet shows how dumb you are.”

• Psychological Impact: The hosts discuss how such behaviors reflect underlying psychological issues in overbearing parents, potentially leading to strained relationships and hindered personal growth for their children.

  Notable Quote:

  • Angie Sullivan (27:37): “This is just sad. I mean, it's sad. It really is.”

• Cultural Shifts: They contrast current parenting styles with their own upbringing, where independence was encouraged early on, arguing that such drastic changes have negative implications for today’s youth.

  Notable Quote:

  • Kathy (23:33): “We were latchkey kids... and we let ourselves in. Major snack. There's no cell phone.”

6. Addressing Extremist Influences and Personal Boundaries (38:00 – 43:41)

The conversation shifts to the influence of extremist ideologies among college students, as seen through the presence of MAGA flags in dorm rooms. The hosts express their disapproval and concern over such symbols, equating them to harmful ideological movements.

Key Points:

• Extremist Symbolism: The presence of MAGA flags in dorms is seen as a sign of aligned extremist beliefs, which the hosts vehemently oppose.

  Notable Quote:

  • Kathy (42:29): “I see it as like when I see that, I just think like, it's modern day KKK.”

• Parental Intervention: They debate the appropriateness of intervening in their children's romantic relationships based on the parents of their children's significant others, highlighting the balance between protecting one's child and respecting their autonomy.

  Notable Quote:

  • Kathy (36:32): “If there is an egregious danger that this relationship poses to my child, I wouldn't blink. I would jump in front of a bus.”

• Personal Anecdotes: Sharing personal experiences, such as moving her son to Syracuse and encouraging independence, Kathy emphasizes the importance of letting children navigate their own paths without excessive oversight.

  Notable Quote:

  • Kathy (29:03): “He had to go to Walgreens... you have to figure it out. I can't imagine getting on a Syracuse University mom group.”

7. Conclusion and Call to Action (43:48 – End)

As the episode wraps up, the hosts reiterate their frustrations and advocate for listeners to leave honest five-star reviews to support the podcast. They briefly promote their upcoming podcast, "I Hip News," which offers daily political hot takes.

Notable Quote:

• Kathy (43:54): “Listen up patriots, gatriots and natriots... please go rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind. Pumps.”

The episode concludes with a playful exchange, further solidifying the hosts' camaraderie and commitment to addressing everyday grievances with humor and honesty.

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Key Takeaways

1. Critique of Modern Parenting: The episode provides a critical look at overbearing parenting styles, especially among parents of college students, advocating for greater autonomy and independence in young adults.

2. Societal Pressures on Mothers: Highlighting the often unrealistic expectations placed on working mothers, the hosts discuss the emotional toll of trying to excel in both professional and personal spheres without adequate support.

3. Mental and Emotional Health: Emphasizing the importance of developing coping skills and resilience, the hosts urge listeners to recognize and address the pressures that contribute to burnout and dissatisfaction.

4. Humor as a Coping Mechanism: Throughout the episode, humor is employed to address serious topics, making the discussion relatable and engaging for listeners.

5. Call for Authenticity and Support: By sharing personal stories and frustrations, the hosts foster a sense of community and encourage listeners to seek genuine connections and support networks.

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Final Thoughts

"I've Had It" episode "Cut the Apron Strings" offers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and critical analysis of societal norms surrounding parenting and personal autonomy. Through candid conversations, Jennifer Welch and Angie “Pumps” Sullivan shed light on the challenges of modern motherhood and the importance of fostering independence in the next generation. The episode serves as both a venting session and a call to action for listeners to reassess their own approaches to parenting and personal well-being.

Transcript

[Jennifer]

We made it to 2025, which means it's time to find a relationship with someone who actually gets you on eharmony. I just got back from spending the holidays with my family and spending the rest of my time watching rom coms. While most people might think of rom coms as secret single behavior, in the words of Carrie Bradshaw, I actually think it's a great way to consider relationship goals as we get into 2025. I've watched the holiday about a million times. Jude Law and Cameron Diaz used to be my couple goals, but now I'm relating more and more to Jack Black and Kate Winslet's relationship. That feeling of finding someone who gets you is what eharmony is all about, because that's what true connection feels like. Being seen, heard, and understood. Someone you can laugh or cry or cry from laughing with. And eHarmony wants you to make genuine, meaningful connections, so they designed their app that way. Their unique compatibility quiz helps you bring out your personality on your profile, which makes it a lot easier to find someone who gets you get who gets you on eHarmony sign up today. Now taxes is 100% free when you file in the TurboTax app.

[Angie]

If you didn't file with us last year.

[Kathy]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[Jennifer]

Just do your own taxes in the app by 2:18.

[Angie]

What if I have lots of forms? All good. All 100% free. What if I had three jobs? Still 100% free.

[Kathy]

What if I once saw Bigfoot?

[Jennifer]

That has nothing to do with taxes. So still 100% free.

[Angie]

Now that's what I'm talking about. Now this is taxes.

[Jennifer]

See if you qualify in the TurboTax app excludes TurboTax Live must start and file an app by 218.

[Kathy]

So we're supposed to start the podcast.

[Angie]

Ready? 1, 2, 3.

[Kathy]

Welcome patriots, gaytriots, theatriots. We are I've Had It Podcast. I'm Jennifer.

[Angie]

I'm Angie.

[Kathy]

She's America's legal eagle, the biggest name in podcasting. And I call her Pumps. Pumps. What have you had it with?

[Angie]

What I've had it with, and this is partly I've had it with me. But I'm so tired of buying stuff off Instagram that doesn't work. Like, they act like it's going to work. And specifically I have a for you page that is nothing but French bulldogs. That's all it is. And I scroll over and it's all these things that French bulldogs can play with. So I now have a room in my house dedicated to these toys for dogs that don't do what they're supposed to do.

[Kathy]

Right.

[Angie]

And the problem is you have to return it. But there's nowhere to return it. It's a fly by night deal. So I've had it with fly by night ads, but then I've had it with myself for always taking the bait and just buying stupid shit that I should know beyond a reasonable doubt's not going to work. Like they acting like it's going to work.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Angie]

So it's, it's part grievance on myself and part grievance with false advertising. Who do you think is more at fault?

[Kathy]

You? I do too. I hate to say, because I just. We've all the very. We've all fallen prey to this. And the first time you order some item that they've made some sleek video right for, and you think, oh my God, my dog would like that, or oh my God, that blouse is so cute. Cute. And then it directs you to the website. It seems a little sketch. And then it takes four weeks to get to your house, which is a super duper red flag. And then you learn, oh, this was a racket. So to keep going back and doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result, that's what therapists call the definition of insanity. I know.

[Angie]

And I've got to do better, but I just, I think, oh my God, my little puppy would love, love that if it worked. And of course it never does, so that's on me. I think you're right. I agree. I'm the problem.

[Kathy]

You got to get. There's some monthly services you can sign up for where they deliver vetted items.

[Angie]

Oh, they're vetted for your dog.

[Kathy]

Reliable sources. Yeah. Cuz I'm all for spoiling the K9s. All right, let me tell you what I've had it with, okay? The phrase mama heart. Somebody said it to me recently and I was talking about because our travel schedule can be so rigorous and I was talking about like, you know, I'm trying to juggle my son's needs with my work schedule. And I've had to do that throughout my kids entire life because I've always been the primary breadwinner. And it's just, it's a struggle and you know, to make ends meet and meet everybody's demands plus fulfill your career. And it's just always been a big struggle in adulthood. And this woman said to me, yeah, that just really pulls on your mama heartstrings.

[Angie]

That's so.

[Kathy]

And I just want to be like, okay, Shut up.

[Angie]

Right.

[Kathy]

Like I, I'm, I'm being an adult and I'm talking about an adult reality that a lot of working women face. This walking, this tightrope of I'm working, I have this career, but then also all of this societal pressure that this is what an ideal mother looks like, this, what an ideal mother does. An ideal, this idealized motherhood. And I feel like that whole mama heart branding is a part of that. Like you'll see these moms. I've never missed one of my kids activities and I always think what a luxury, right, that must be because I've missed several of my kids activities because I had a career and I have a career that pays me very well. I've never had help from a husband or parents. It's all been me. I mean at times where my husband was, you know, had severe problems with addiction and whatnot. But it think about women that are divorced or have never married and they have a couple of kids and they work a couple of jobs, right? To make, to make do in their life. And how debilitating it would be to hear all of this idealized mothering all the time and to be around all the insufferable power moms all the time.

[Angie]

Yeah, see that's, I think that obviously that's a huge issue for women. Balancing, like what's the work life balance. It's hard, it's sometimes not attainable. Some, I mean personal life suffers if work's doing well. Work suffers with kids. You know, it's just constant struggle. But the bigger issue for me in that scenario is that there are so many, many women that make it their business to be at all their kids school activities, to hover over every practice. You know, what snacks is everybody going to bring? You don't have to be the snack mom. Like we don't have to have that. Like when my kids, they're all gone now in high school where every kid drives a car, okay, they can go fend for themselves, they can pack a lunch. Like there's no need to get people involved. And they're like, who wants to sign up to take food? It's like, why would I take food? Like, I don't know these people, I don't know what they like. Oh, and then you get the food allergies. It's just like, why didn't everybody just get their own food? Why does everything have to be a group activity by these helicopter parents?

[Kathy]

Well, I think it's this, there's twofold. There's the mom flexing because they have the time and the luxury to do that. And then there's always this pressure on our species in particular to be the super parent. And I like where the millennials and Gen Z are heading with this because you have paternity leave and taking a bigger role, Men taking a larger role in their child's lives because Josh and I have always had to divide and conquer. Like I'm traveling out of town for this design install. I'm going to miss this event. This event, this event and this event. Will you cover it? Other times he's been unable to do stuff and I take the lead on it. And there's just, there's always these sayings, you know, your mama heart and this pressure on women to be these idealized mothers, to be the perfect mother. And I think that that is setting your child up for failure because the perfect mother doesn't exist. We're all human beings and we all have struggles. And I think it's really shocking. At least it was for me. And I know, I think it was for you too. When you are an adult and adulthood comes raining down on you.

[Angie]

Yes.

[Kathy]

How ill prepared we all are for it.

[Angie]

Totally. It's so for me personally, more than most. But the lack of skills emotionally and mentally to deal with adulthood was fucking. It ran over me like a choo choo train. Just the total lack of coping skills.

[Kathy]

And I just, you know, I've always been very candid and very honest with my kids. Like I wish I could be at every event. I just simply cannot. I have a career. If you want your tuition paid, if you want this house, all of the extra things that we do, it comes from me. And I have to work. And the sacrifice is I can't be the power mom. And my sons would always say, I'm so glad you're not the power mom. I always feel so badly for the kids whose moms are up at the school all the time.

[Angie]

Right.

[Kathy]

So anyway, Kathy, do you have any reviews or anything to read to us on the world wide web?

[Kylie]

I have two reviews for you. This one's five stars, titled these. Get it? A top notch team of two inarguably average women being propped up by an overqualified lesbian would recommend. And I did not write that.

[Angie]

And we're average.

[Kathy]

I agree with that. How many stars did we get on that?

[Angie]

Five.

[Kathy]

Okay.

[Angie]

And he called me a horse. So I'm. Loved it. It's my favorite.

[Kathy]

Is there any more?

[Kylie]

Okay, the next one is five stars. How pumps help me find a gay Tree boyfriend who knew it would be two washed up southern hags with some of the foulest mouths west of the Mississippi that found me a boyfriend. For the listener who doesn't know and probably gin and pumps. Hinge has which is a dating app. It has a prompt titled favorite off brand LGBT icon. So of course I put down my favorite Leslie pumps. Lo and behold, an attractive yet ungodly petty man liked that prompt because he's a gay trio. So bada bing, bada boom. And he's going to be my groom hopefully soon. So thank you to the pickleball princess and her bald huskyed elderly friend for fighting the good fight and spreading the real agenda. Gay agenda.

[Kathy]

That's so cool.

[Angie]

That's the best thing I've ever heard.

[Kathy]

I love that. That is so cool.

[Angie]

That makes me just so happy.

[Kathy]

I would like to commend both of those reviewers because I've noticed for, for, for taking part and going over to Apple, not being a lackluster listener, for giving us five stars, giving us very thoughtful, helpful, interesting reviews. I've noticed a little stall out and the reviews clicking upwards.

[Kylie]

I have too.

[Kathy]

I've noticed, haven't you, Kathy?

[Kylie]

Yeah.

[Kathy]

This makes me very angry and it hurts my mama heart.

[Kylie]

It's hard for me because I need content. So give me content.

[Angie]

Right? Here's the deal on that. If you review I've had it podcast, as we've seen, there are rewards for you, I. E. To fall in love. We're pushing love.

[Kathy]

The reviews of I've Had It Podcast are like the prosperity gospel. They are evangelical Christianity. You give the money to the megachurch preacher, the megachurch preacher gets a shit ton of money, a nice house in a private plane. You give the review to the I've had it podcast. Our mama hearts are full.

[Angie]

Right.

[Kathy]

Kylie has content and you're going to get better content because we are old. We are haggard. Pumps is a. All of these things are true. We are produced by an overqualified lesbian. We're insecure. We're train wrecks. We think we're going to face plant any minute. Give us the five star reviews. God damn. Other women our age are out here cussing their hearts out doing this day in, day out. Listen up, patriots.

[Angie]

G A, let's get on there. Let's review, review, review.

[Kathy]

Do y'all want us to come? Want us to get on camera without Botox?

[Angie]

No.

[Kathy]

Is the answer you want. I mean, do you want, you want these to get out here? Yeah. You want Kylie to get her hair color done right? Pups has got these new extensions she's got to keep in check. She gets these eyelash things. I mean, for Sake for Patriots engagement.

[Angie]

It takes a lot of money to look this bad.

[Kathy]

I've had it. Had it. Listener. This may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up. Wouldn't you say, Pumps?

[Angie]

I would say damn near psychotic.

[Kathy]

Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is.

[Angie]

A Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches.

[Kathy]

In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre order your copy. Now for this episode of I've had It. We've partnered with eHarmony, the dating app, to find someone you can be yourself with. Pumps. How's it going over at eharmony?

[Angie]

Well, it's a lot better than aimless dating because eharmony cuts a lot of the back and forth back, and it matches you with people that you're more likely to like.

[Kathy]

See, that's the thing. Like, you don't want to just be out there, like in the ocean thinking, is this guy gonna be right? Is this guy gonna be right? So I like that they do a lot of the work for you. Listener. Dating is different on eharmony. People on eharmony want to find someone they can be themselves with. They're not just aimlessly dating. They want a genuine connection. Because of eharmony's compatibility quiz, your personality is the star of your profile. And when your personality is the star, finding the right person is so much easier. Get started with their compatibility quiz so you can find someone you can be yourself with. Download the app and get who gets you on eharmony. All right, Speaking of mama hearts, now, there has been something that we have been. We started to whistleblow on. Like, we have many things since the infancy stages of this podcast you'll review. You'll remember that one of the things that we brought your attention to were the gender reveals and the subsequent missing persons case fires, injuries that have resulted from that death. I'm still very intrigued by the missing person, but we'll dive into that at a later date. Also, the whistleblowing about Stanley cups and all the going on with those Trumpism, right?

[Angie]

The straight line from Stanley to Trump, all this stuff.

[Kathy]

Something that's really piqued Our interest lately are these college parents helicoptering over their college kids lives. And somebody on the Internet has taken screenshots of one of these mom group me's Facebook groups. And I want to do a dramatic reading of some of these for the listener. So one mama has a broken mama heart and she posts on the Internet about her legally adult son who is at college. My son doesn't like the water at the dorm. What can we do for regular external water supply for the kids?

[Angie]

That cannot be real, I'm afraid. So here's the deal. If your biggest problem in your life is that your little Johnny or little Debbie doesn't like how the water tastes, number one, good for you. A lot of people don't even have fucking water. Number two, the fact that you would post it on the Internet. A gripe about water just shows how dumb you are. Go buy a bottle of water and shut the up.

[Kathy]

There's a larger point here. It's not her business. It's not her business as a parent.

[Angie]

Know it.

[Kathy]

As a parent, you tell the child that's the water that they have, darling. Welcome to adulthood. Right.

[Angie]

It's not perfect. Mommy can't fix everything.

[Kathy]

That's. That's the end. This is where you're going to school. This is the water that they have. There's nothing I can do about it. Quit bitching to me about it.

[Angie]

That's just a kid for sure.

[Kathy]

Okay, well, because his mother has taught him how to be a.

[Angie]

She's an able pussy ism.

[Kathy]

All right. Another broken mama heart posts. Would anyone know if someone has a bedroom or couch to rent occasionally? My son is living in a cold room at a frat with 25ish other boys and isn't getting any sleep. Woke up Wednesday night night with someone climbing into bed with him because the person was so drunk they couldn't find their own bunk. It wouldn't be every night, but just when he really needs to get some sleep. I know this is a strange request, but he asked me to ask about it on Facebook. Thanks.

[Angie]

Wow. First of all, I can solve this problem. It's called a hotel. It's not that hard, but it just.

[Kathy]

That misses the point.

[Angie]

No, I know, but these are how dumb they are that they're putting this on the Internet. Like solve your own problems.

[Kathy]

Telling your child to get a hotel is the in the exact same library in this exact same book that creates these titty babies. What you say is, I'm sorry, this is what college life is about. You're going to have to draw boundaries with your friends. I can't fix this. And I'm not going to embarrass you or myself by putting it on Facebook. This is when you have to learn conflict resolution skills. And I'm not a part of your resolution because I don't go to school there. And that isn't my room and that isn't my bus.

[Angie]

See, my thing is, I mean, you're. It's embarrassing to put that on the Internet. I mean, that's embarrassing. It's embarrassing for the kid. And do you think the kid really asked her to put it on Facebook?

[Kathy]

I don't know.

[Angie]

Oh, my God, I'm so horrified about this. All right.

[Kathy]

Another one says, is it too much to ask the college to install cameras in my child's dorm room? I just want to make sure they're sleepy enough and staying on top of their cleaning and laundry. It's hard to trust they'll remember everything on their own. And before anyone worries about roommate privacy, he is in a single room.

[Angie]

That's psychotic.

[Kathy]

It is. That is psychotic. It doesn't surprise me, though. It doesn't surprise me because I've been involved in the high school. Right now, I have a high school senior and I've seen what these parents are doing. And I am waving my arms in the group me saying, why are we involved in this? We're not going to the dance. Why aren't the kids doing this? So nobody is putting any guardrails on this unhinged helicopter mothering. And it's all these kids have known their entire life. So it's normal to the kids and these moms then segueing and extending this on into college makes perfect sense to me. I mean, these are the moms that are in there decorating their boy, their son's lockers, decorating their locker rooms, making sure everything is at the high school, that they're up there, that they're knee deep and all of it. This type of dysfunction just doesn't end overnight. It's a cancer that continues.

[Angie]

Yeah. Can you imagine dating or being married to that person's child? How horrible of a mother in law. I mean, that's psychotic. She wants to spy. Basically. She wants to spy on her kid. It's gross. It's fucking gross.

[Kathy]

I remember when Dylan, my oldest son, was a freshman in high school and he was going on a trip to New York City and I went to the parent meeting because my kid was like 14 and I'm sending him to New York and I trusted they'd Done the trip every year. I didn't have any questions. The guy opens it up to questioning and this one mother asks about what their potential 911 plan is if New York City goes under attack. She wasn't satisfied with his answer and then she said, do you think it would be possible for me to go and stay at the same hotel but just act like I don't know you guys? To which the teacher, to his credit, said, that's not the point of this trip.

[Angie]

Right.

[Kathy]

The point of this trip is to take the kids to New York to introduce them to the museums, opera and the arts without their parents. You know, this need to rebel against their parents. So it just. This doesn't surprise me very much. You just been through all the biggest helicopter toxic, codependent show with your youngest. All you bitched about it non stop on this very podcast.

[Angie]

No, I know, but I'm just saying, like these are even a bridge too far that I could have imagined.

[Kathy]

Let me ask you this though, okay? Aren't you on a college mom group? Me?

[Angie]

I was for Sam his freshman year. Yeah. And in fact, I think I've got. I. I don't think I ever left the group. I just deleted the app so I could still be in it.

[Kathy]

I bet there could be some great content in there. Okay, pull it up. Here's one. Is it appropriate to email my child's professors at the start of the semester to introduce myself and establish a line of communication? I just want to make sure I'm aware of any issues before they become a problem. How involved do other parents get with their child's professors? Where can I get a list of professors emails? Thanks in advance. And somebody comments. No, it is not appropriate. Your adult child is responsible for introductions. He or she should update you as necessary and then somebody else comments. Definitely no. You have to cut the apron strings.

[Angie]

Love the commenters. Love the clap back. What do you think the professor thinks when little Johnny's mother emails? Hi, just wanted to know if there are any absences. Too many tardies, you know, that they immediately put a target on that kid's back. That the kid's immediately.

[Kathy]

Well. And a problem like pro, like immediately.

[Angie]

The professor immediately hates the child.

[Kathy]

But I would. This is what these high school parents that I'm struggling with right now in the group me. They are impeding their children from transitioning from high school to college. All of this hyper fixation on the senior year is an impediment to those children having agency and autonomy over their own lives. As when your child is a senior. It is about them really advocating for themselves and managing their schedule, doing all of their shit. It is getting crazy how involved the parents are. I see parents more involved in my son's senior year class than I did when they were in kindergarten.

[Angie]

Yeah, it's on steroids. And I just. It just wasn't like that when we were young. It just simply wasn't.

[Kathy]

We were latchkey kids, right?

[Angie]

I mean, I. My mom never came up to school.

[Kathy]

We rode a bus when we were like, six. And you had to walk several blocks to get to the bus stop by yourself. And you had a key and you went to school and then you came home, right? And you let yourself in. Major snack. There's no cell phone. And then your parents typically didn't even call you, and you'd see them when they'd roll home later. Right.

[Angie]

I mean, it just. This whole thing about the parents being super involved. I truly believe most of the schools hate it. The school administration hates it. My guess is the kids hate it. And I think that the parents just do not have enough in their own lives that are going on that they have to make their kids life their life. And it's up, in my opinion.

[Kathy]

I agree. I think it's super effective. Okay, here's another one. Hello. My son is really into chess. He's going to be an aerospace engineering who's trying out for a trumpet position in the AAMB and staying in Tarkington. If anyone else's child is interested in chess or would like to, or would like to be, please reach out. I'll share his info. He plays online as well, and he's pretty good. He's always looking for a challenge. And this is a great way for kids who need to meet some new friends to get together.

[Angie]

Oh, God. I mean, here's the deal. I have no doubt why that child doesn't have any people that he meets on his own. I mean, the mystery solved. That poor child. I mean, I feel sorry for these kids. I really do.

[Kathy]

Where does everyone send their kids to get quarters for, for the machines? We don't have access to the app and need quarters. The dorm office doesn't have a trade system. We tried Target and Walmart, but they said no. We even tried two local banks and the other bank and they said no.

[Angie]

I, I, I, I. I'm speechless.

[Kathy]

Here's what I would do. Well, I have a kid that's been in Syracuse, New York. He's starting on his fourth year. I'm just. I have never communicated with anybody at Syracuse University.

[Angie]

Ever, ever, ever.

[Kathy]

I don't even see his grades. They don't mail them to me.

[Angie]

Right.

[Kathy]

Because he's a legal adult. I have to ask him.

[Angie]

That's right.

[Kathy]

Dylan, will you please take a screenshot of your grades and send it to me before I pay this tuition so I can vet that you're doing what you say you're doing at this very moment, right now. I have no idea what he's doing. He could be completely stoned off his ass. He could be out all night. He could be at class. I just don't know because I don't go to Syracuse.

[Angie]

It's fucking bananas. I get. I'm assuming you don't get a weekly update on his laundry.

[Kathy]

No. Or how he gets quarters. Because if I was typing this out on the Internet, asking people to help me figure out how to get quarters for my child and I had bred, I would realize I have made a huge mistake in breeding, that I've been on the earth close to 50 years, and I. I can't crack the case on how to get quarters, and I'm dragging my child into this breathtaking hypocrisy. It is obscene. It is so embarrassing. Here's one. Hey, all, could we send a text to our kids to find those kids sitting hanging alone and grab them? My mama heart is aching for these kids. I know they'll be okay, but let's encourage them to seek out those who might need a friendly face right now. Boil her up. Up. And then a bunch of heart emojis.

[Angie]

This is just sad. I mean, it's sad. It really is.

[Kathy]

You know, what's so up about this is they think they're being so helpful. And if you were to put them in front of a therapist, the therapist would diagnose them with issues. The mother.

[Angie]

100. The mother. And here's the deal, too. Like, okay, let's assume I got that. I was on that, and somebody sent that to me. My immediate reaction would be. And I hope that I wouldn't tell it to my child. My immediate reaction would be like, that's a kid you need to stay away from. I would immediately think that, like, this kid is bringing his mom into everything. He's grown. Like, I hope my kid doesn't buddy up with him.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Angie]

I'm just not a good person, though.

[Kathy]

I. I think that this is just unhinged, toxic parenting.

[Angie]

Right.

[Kathy]

And the fact that there are groups of this where they're communicating with each other. All right, here's one. My baby boy just moved into his dorm. He's been having issues with his roommates and calls me every night crying. Is there any way I can move into my son's dorm? I miss my son so much and I'm so scared for him.

[Angie]

I, I mean it sounds real, but I mean I me that gives me just like, like that can't be real. Like that's so bad.

[Kathy]

I remember when I moved Dylan to Syracuse. You were with us.

[Angie]

Yeah.

[Kathy]

And we moved him in and you and Josh had gone to like Target or Walmart to get some stuff. And we're in his dorm room, there's no air conditioning. It's one of the hottest days on record in Syracuse, New York. And he's like, he says to me, why am I moving here? Like, I like my life. I liked everything that, that that was going on in Oklahoma City. Like, why am I doing this? And I go, because this is the next step. Right? You can't be the loser that stays in Oklahoma City and lives at your parents house and does nothing but play video games all day. This is the next step. I hate it for you. It's going to be painful, it's going to be awkward. You' to have to dig deep. But this is where you start growing. And I can't fix this for you and I can't do this for you. You have to throw yourself in. You have to make friends. You have to do it all. And he did. And we talk about it now to this day. It was an incredible growing experience for him because he couldn't just come home on the weekend and have me help him with something if he was sick. He had to go to Walgreens to the dock in the box, advocate for himself. You have to figure it out. I can't imagine getting on a Syracuse University mom group. Me, which I don't know that there is one. Right.

[Angie]

Hopefully there's not.

[Kathy]

And typing out something like this and humiliating myself, my intelligence, my ability to mother, my ability to see my child as his own person, fully capable of handling himself in an autonomous way. But this talking about wanting to move into the dorm with them, that's where.

[Angie]

I think, is there some satire there? Because nobody really thinks that's a good idea, but I know people do. It sounds crazy, but people do.

[Kathy]

All right. And here's the last one. How often are you checking up with your kids? I text in the morning, afternoon and at night. And we usually talk before he goes to sleep just to make sure he's on track with homework and assignments and class attendance. Is it Too much to ask for a FaceTime call before each class so I know he is attending.

[Angie]

Oh my gosh, that is so bad. Let me just tell you, this relates to little kids. In my practice of divorce, when you have a parent, two parents that don't live in the same house, the parent calling all the time like breakfast, lunch and dinner is always viewed as the problem parent. Always. The general rule is you get one call a day. That's it, that's the list. And we're talking kids like five, six, seven or eight, eight year old kids. More than one call. Number one, the kids don't want to talk on the phone. Number two, it's the other parents time. Respect it. But a minute a day is about what you get. So having done that for 20 years and to hear grown ass women want to talk to their kid every day, breakfast, lunch, dinner before bed and at facetime before class, that's psychotic.

[Kathy]

It's enmeshment.

[Angie]

It's enmesh. I mean it is clinically up.

[Kathy]

And it's like the parents. When Your kid is 19, 18, 19, 20, 21 and you're talking to them on the phone every single day, you have a toxic enmeshed relationship with your child. Your child by nature of being in college, is not that interested in their parents anymore. And if they're calling you a whole bunch and you're wanting them to call you a whole bunch, you probably have major problems with this child and their socialization because you've intervened too much in it. I mean, I think I talked to Dylan once, twice a week tops. Oh, it's just wild that you would be calling your mom. I mean when you're 19 and 20, you're busy partying.

[Angie]

Right.

[Kathy]

Making bad decisions, 100, all of the things you're supposed to be doing at that age, checking in with mommy multiple times a day. It's really, it's sad for this mom that that's what her life has come to and that she puts that much pressure on her kid to fill her needs instead of the opposite way. At this age it should be how you're on your own, buddy. But I'm here for like assistance if you need it. But I can't solve your day in, day out everyday problems because I'm enabling you if I do that.

[Angie]

Yeah. And I just, you know, as I have an older child going into the workforce, like he'll call me once, twice a week probably that's normal.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Angie]

And then he'll start telling me about his job. I'm so Fucking bored. I can't wait to get off the phone. I mean my eyes are rolling back in my head and I'm just like, I have no idea what he's talking about, but I'm trying to ask the appropriate question. So not only are they not interested in what we're doing as parents, right? I'm not that interested in what they're doing as workers.

[Kathy]

Right.

[Angie]

It's just not that interesting.

[Kathy]

And if he had a girlfriend, you wouldn't be hearing as much 100%. You know what I mean? Sometimes the kid calls you more when they don't.

[Angie]

Anybody else call.

[Kathy]

Right? Exactly. These kids. I feel sorry for anybody who dates any of these kids.

[Angie]

Can you imagine?

[Kathy]

I mean, talk about emasculating. Most of these were referencing their son and it's, that would be one of.

[Angie]

Those people that, if that is the parent of my child's significant other, that it would, the conversation would be run, run, run. This is not going to get better. They won't listen because my parents did that with me and I didn't listen. But at least I could tell myself like I, I've exposed as much as I can, like this is not going to turn out well for you. This, this is effect that deal.

[Kathy]

I think it's dangerous to tell a kid, don't marry this person. I, it, I think it, it draws the person to want to rebel even more and marry the person to spite their parents.

[Angie]

It would be like, okay, look at this.

[Kathy]

Here's, I'm just, I'm not. You just think, I, I, I am so about my kids lives being their lives short of the person having a massive drug problem, being abusive, et cetera, et cetera. They're my son's girlfriend's relationship with her parents is simply not my business. And injecting into it is a, is a splintering off of this problem. It is being part of the problem and not part of the solution. It is simply not my business. Would I talk to you about it? 100%. But if my son has a relationship with another adult and she has a relationship with her parents, that I think is fucked up. But she's nice to my son, my son really likes her. I am not going to inject myself in there because it never, the child is never going to listen to the parents and go, oh my gosh, my mom is right. And then what you've done is you've created a wedge. And at some point, because your son gets laid by that person, at some point they're going to tell the spouse My mom thinks your parents are nuts and then you're not going to have access to your son's life or your grandkids because you didn't mind your own business.

[Angie]

Yeah, I wish.

[Kathy]

That's what I think.

[Angie]

I think I'd have to least bring it to the attention. I just, I just think I'd have to.

[Kathy]

I just, I don't want to be that mom. I don't want to be the busy body parent. Now if my child came to me and openly asked me about it, I would tread very, I would tiptoe and tread very gingerly because at the end of the day, if that's who they marry, I'm putting a, a wedge in me gaining access to their lives and potential grandkids and whatnot. And I think it also sends a message that the child can't advocate for themselves or use critical thinking. I don't know, I'm just, I'm a lot more cautious about these things because I see from all of the stuff that Josh and I went through and parents can have such a massive impact and I just, I, I think at the end of the day it boils down to mind your own business. If there is an egregious danger that this relationship poses to my child, I wouldn't blink. I would jump in front of a bus. I would do whatever. Somebody not liking their in laws is normal, right?

[Angie]

Everybody, it's normal.

[Kathy]

So I'm not going to create a wedge in my son's life and be a busy body because I don't know what's right. Josh and I haven't had the best marriage in the planet. I'm not a expert in it. Yeah, I don't think I would do it.

[Angie]

Yeah, I probably would.

[Kylie]

Can I ask you a question? Let's say your son, he wants to get married to this girl. He really likes this girl. The girl is really mega church Christian and he's like, I'm kind of getting into it too and he's going to do it for her.

[Kathy]

Would you step in if my child wanted to join a megachurch?

[Kylie]

Become.

[Kathy]

Yes. Because I think it's abusive to, I think it's abusive to his being to be told to, to emotionally blackmail. I think it's a cult. And I would intervene in the same way that a person would intervene in their per. In their child joining a cult. I would be like, so you think that you're going to burn in hell if you masturbate? That is crazy. And you think that gay people are inherently evil and terrible. That is Crazy. Yeah. I absolutely would intervene because evangelical megachurch Christianity that does nothing but promote the patriarchy and diminish marginalized groups. So I would see that as a clear and present danger to my child's idea of seeking serenity and having a happy marriage. Just like somebody would if their child joined Scientology because I see them both as equally ridiculous.

[Angie]

Maggot be on my list too.

[Kathy]

A super maga.

[Angie]

I have faith that it's gonna that.

[Kathy]

My children not being indoctrinated in religion and valuing critical thinking. Now listen, the penis wants what the penis wants, you know, and it is a very vagina ones what the vagina Very powerful, alluring hormones are something that kind of go beyond logic. But I have a feeling just based on who my oldest son has been with for four or five years, she's non religious, incredibly open minded, blends with our family incredibly well. A not a magnet, not a, you know, Bible thumper, etc. Etc. My younger son has dated some girls and they never really went on. The relationships never went on that long. And I'd be like, so why'd you break up with her? And he was like, she's cute but you know, she just really wasn't super smart. So I kind of, I mean I. I kind of feel like I won't have that issue because we've really valued as a family critical thinking. But I mean you never know. I mean there could be somebody who is just, I mean.

[Kylie]

Hot.

[Kathy]

Yeah. Hellcat total just has a crazy ass trapper parents. She is the hottest thing on the planet. Look, I know that that could probably happen, but at the end of the day I would just try to keep out. Now the religious thing I would dive into because I think it is fundamentally abusive and damaging evangelical Christianity is to human beings. But the maga, that would be hot. That'd be tough.

[Angie]

That'd be a tough one swallowing that.

[Kathy]

And it could happen.

[Angie]

It could happen.

[Kathy]

I kind of, I mean, I don't.

[Angie]

Know, I think they'd spin out pretty quick.

[Kylie]

Yeah.

[Kathy]

I mean, here's hope. I would think that, that they would spin out. I mean based on what I've seen with my boys and their dating thus far, I'm not worried about that because we, I don't know, we value facts as a family and we value critical thinking. We're secular. So I hope that I've given them the tools to decipher through that kind of thing. But again, the hormones want what the hormones want.

[Angie]

Okay, I just, I had a flash memory while you were talking, so we're moving Luke into the dorm. He's my youngest, just moved out. We're walking by the dorm room and there's this. This not his dorm room, but another dorm room. And there's this huge MAGA flag on the wall. And I looked, I turned around and looked at him. I go, do not hang out with that person. They're a dumb bigot. And you know, he probably went over there and immediately hung out with him. But yeah, I mean, I just saw it and I was just like turned, like spun on my heels.

[Kathy]

Like, what a cult that is that you go to college and you decorate your Dorm room at 18 years old with a tr.

[Angie]

Yeah, I thought it was pretty.

[Kathy]

That's pretty.

[Angie]

I mean that I was kind of shocked. I think my kids flag say something like, beers don't stand a chance here.

[Kathy]

That's typical. Yeah, you know, 18, that's about what I expected. But a Trump flag.

[Angie]

Yeah, it was a big.

[Kathy]

To me, it's like when I see that, I just think like, it's modern day kkk.

[Angie]

I agree.

[Kathy]

You know what I mean? I see it as like a. A flag of.

[Angie]

But I couldn't shut. So I don't have a lot of high hopes for me.

[Kathy]

Okay, so in conclusion, you'll intervene maga, Evangelical crazy parents. I think I. I'll see you maga and I'll see you crazy Christian. But if the, if the girlfriend has crazy parents, I think I have to bow out on that.

[Angie]

I hope I can.

[Kathy]

I don't want to judge somebody based on their crazy parents. If they've been kind and sweet to my. My boy.

[Angie]

Yeah, I just feel like all that kind of as you get older. But we'll see. Maybe I'll learn to keep my mouth shut. Maybe one day.

[Kathy]

Maybe. All right, that's all we have today. Listen to both of our podcasts, subscribe to both of our podcasts, and if you have not left a five star review, meet Kurt and Meemaw. You can't even imagine the horrors that she will descend into.

[Angie]

Right?

[Kathy]

Okay, okay. All right. Like subscribe. We'll see you guys tomorrow.

[Angie]

I'll tell you what I've had it with. I've had it with that.

[Kathy]

Listen up patriots, gatriots and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called I Hip News. It's Monday through Friday. Every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political land landscape of the United States of America. Always served with a side of petty grievances.

[Angie]

We are on all the available platforms. Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube.

[Kathy]

Please go rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind. Pumps. Pumps. What does an eagle say? Caca. A little bit more enthusiasm.

[Angie]

Caca.

[Kathy]

That's it.

[Angie]

That's.

[Kathy]

That's kaka. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.